1 00:00:05,708 --> 00:00:07,208 (dramatic music) 2 00:00:07,292 --> 00:00:09,167 - [Terri] If you come into my house, 3 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:11,167 you're gonna walk on junk. 4 00:00:13,458 --> 00:00:15,500 No, I sleep here, but it's disgusting. 5 00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:18,875 - I don't know how to sleep at night 6 00:00:18,958 --> 00:00:21,167 knowing my mom is living like this. 7 00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:24,375 - She's very embarrassed about this. 8 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,708 So you're okay letting it go? 9 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:26,875 - [Terri] I can't keep it all. 10 00:00:26,958 --> 00:00:29,000 - She seems she's okay with it. 11 00:00:29,042 --> 00:00:30,958 I will say there's a piece of me that's worried. 12 00:00:31,042 --> 00:00:32,292 (dramatic music) 13 00:00:32,375 --> 00:00:33,875 - I think this was meant to shame me somehow. 14 00:00:33,958 --> 00:00:35,833 - You can only keep those emotions at bay 15 00:00:35,917 --> 00:00:37,458 so long before they come out. 16 00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:39,750 - I wanna get this done! 17 00:00:39,833 --> 00:00:41,417 - [Dorothy] She just couldn't hold it in anymore. 18 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,958 This is the first time I've ever experienced 19 00:00:44,042 --> 00:00:46,583 a person who's hoarding not here. 20 00:00:46,667 --> 00:00:49,542 - I don't get a sense that Terri's on my team. 21 00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:52,917 (suspenseful music) 22 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,625 (intense music) 23 00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:28,583 (light instrumental music) 24 00:01:49,292 --> 00:01:50,667 - My name's Terri. 25 00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:53,667 I've been a certified nurse midwife for 25 years. 26 00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:56,292 If you come into my house, 27 00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:58,458 literally you're gonna walk on junk. 28 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:00,333 It's that bad. 29 00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,750 (dramatic music) 30 00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:11,708 There's parts that are walled off that, you know, 31 00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:13,833 there's empty space behind it, 32 00:02:13,958 --> 00:02:18,292 but thank God I didn't fill that up (laughs) or that up. 33 00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:22,833 (suspenseful music) 34 00:02:22,917 --> 00:02:26,167 Some of the things I like to collect are eyeglasses. 35 00:02:26,250 --> 00:02:30,542 I like kitchen gadgets, I love tools. 36 00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:33,167 Lots of containers to help me clean. 37 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:39,958 Lots of clothes and shoes. 38 00:02:40,042 --> 00:02:41,833 There's a lot of electronics. 39 00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:45,250 There's just a lot of stuff. 40 00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:46,875 It's just way too much stuff. 41 00:02:50,042 --> 00:02:52,333 I think the worst thing about having a house 42 00:02:52,417 --> 00:02:55,000 you can't even walk through is it's embarrassing. 43 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:57,167 You can't have anybody over. 44 00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:01,667 It's disgusting, it's filthy, it's gross. 45 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,250 The only thing that can make this worse, 46 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,792 if I had dead animals in here too. 47 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,417 - I'm Maggie and I'm Terri's daughter. 48 00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:21,250 It is tough for me to know that my mom lives this way. 49 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:24,292 There could be a situation where something falls, 50 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,333 there could be a fire, 51 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:28,167 there could be a situation 52 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,875 where she needs to get out quickly 53 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,667 and she's not able to do that. 54 00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:36,375 So I absolutely worry about her safety and wellbeing. 55 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:42,167 (suspenseful music) 56 00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:55,458 - Three years ago I had a fire. 57 00:03:55,542 --> 00:03:58,583 I plugged in a coffee pot and it just started smoking. 58 00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:00,958 The fire department was here 59 00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:03,375 and came in and had to check and see what the problem. 60 00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:06,333 It wasn't an active blaze, it was just smoke. 61 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,000 They gave me a a strong talking to 62 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,917 that if they had to come in here and pull my dead body out, 63 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,292 they'd hurt themselves. 64 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:18,292 (dramatic music) 65 00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:26,958 Last November, 66 00:04:27,042 --> 00:04:30,333 a policeman came by and gave me a citation to clean up 67 00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:32,500 and if I didn't clean up, 68 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,708 there'd be action taken against me. 69 00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:42,417 - I do worry about future contact with the police 70 00:04:42,542 --> 00:04:47,375 and officials that handle any kind of ticketing with my mom. 71 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:51,125 So that is something that's possible 72 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:55,833 and I just am worried that if we don't get ahead of this now 73 00:04:55,958 --> 00:04:57,333 and start the actions, 74 00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:58,875 it's only gonna get worse 75 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,042 and they're just gonna find more reasons to contact her. 76 00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:08,333 (suspenseful music) 77 00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:16,917 - I love to shop. 78 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,250 I love to shop for my family. 79 00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:21,417 I love to shop for my grandkids. 80 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,542 I love to shop for my siblings. (laughs) 81 00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,917 Oh, that's a flashlight and a TV. 82 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:26,750 I tell ya. 83 00:05:28,417 --> 00:05:30,667 I should have a job shopping. (laughs) 84 00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:33,833 That's what I should have, but I don't. 85 00:05:35,208 --> 00:05:37,375 I probably have one of everything in here. 86 00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:44,750 (somber piano music) 87 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:54,417 In 1996, my hoarding got outta control 88 00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:57,333 when I accumulated three people 89 00:05:57,417 --> 00:05:59,833 that passed away their stuff. 90 00:05:59,875 --> 00:06:01,000 My husband died. 91 00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:03,458 We were divorced, but we were still good friends. 92 00:06:03,542 --> 00:06:04,875 I got all of his stuff. 93 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:08,292 Then my dad died two months later. 94 00:06:08,375 --> 00:06:09,667 I got all of his stuff 95 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,042 and then my mom died in 2007, I think, 96 00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,125 and I cleaned her house. 97 00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,583 And so there were certain things. 98 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:19,875 I mean, I'm sure they're still packed in that room. 99 00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:32,167 My bedroom, it is full of stuff. 100 00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,875 Just a mattress, just nothing. 101 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:37,750 There's no bedside table or chest of drawers. 102 00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:38,958 It's just stuff. 103 00:06:43,708 --> 00:06:46,667 Probably the worst thing about this is the kitchen 104 00:06:46,708 --> 00:06:49,167 and bathroom not being functional. 105 00:06:49,292 --> 00:06:52,750 The bathroom's not operatable because I don't have water. 106 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:55,833 A couple of years ago we had a hard freeze 107 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,500 and I had a broken pipe and I haven't fixed it. 108 00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:02,000 - I do have guilt for my mom's hoarding 109 00:07:02,125 --> 00:07:04,583 because I do feel like I could have stepped in earlier, 110 00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:06,667 maybe read some signs sooner, 111 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:09,583 but now I can't turn another cheek. 112 00:07:12,250 --> 00:07:13,458 She deserves better. 113 00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:19,125 She's an amazing lady 114 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:24,833 and she definitely lives out her purpose in life, 115 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,458 like she's such a good nurse and a midwife 116 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,792 and just everything she does for other people. 117 00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:39,042 - I'm Stephanie and Terri is my friend and neighbor. 118 00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:44,458 We've known each other about 10 years 119 00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:46,083 when we moved in across the street. 120 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,167 Terri is there anytime we need her. 121 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:52,792 And I have goats, I have chickens, I have livestock. 122 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:57,917 And Terri has helped me birth baby goats. 123 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:00,000 - Is this one pregnant? - It might be. 124 00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:01,792 - [Terri] Yeah, it looks pregnant. 125 00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:04,042 - I mean, Terri will be there if I call 126 00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:05,625 and I need Terri's help, 127 00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,375 Terri drops whatever she is doing and she will come help. 128 00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:09,958 - Come on! 129 00:08:10,042 --> 00:08:10,958 (goat bleats) 130 00:08:11,042 --> 00:08:12,417 - Terri is just a really generous person. 131 00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:14,833 She's a midwife and nurse in the community. 132 00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:17,708 And I have seen Terri mowing her yard 133 00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:19,667 and if she gets a call that some child has hurt her arm, 134 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,125 Terri will stop mowing her yard 135 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,875 and get in her car and drive to wherever it is, 136 00:08:25,042 --> 00:08:27,167 that the child is. 137 00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:28,750 - Hiya! - Hi! 138 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:29,875 - Hi. 139 00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:31,250 - [Stephanie] I'm glad you could come so fast! 140 00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:32,208 - [Terri] I'm so glad you called me, 141 00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:34,833 I'm here like that! (laughs) 142 00:08:34,917 --> 00:08:38,250 - She genuinely cares about people 143 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:39,750 and she will drop whatever she's doing 144 00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:41,833 and put other people ahead of herself. 145 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,833 - I am Joann and I know Terri 146 00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:52,750 because my daughter lives across the street from her. 147 00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:57,125 (suspenseful music) 148 00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:59,750 I think Terri's got a lot of unnecessary things 149 00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:01,667 that don't need to be in her yard. 150 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,542 You know, too many of one thing. 151 00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:07,583 I've never been invited into Terri's house 152 00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:10,250 because I think when Terri gets there, 153 00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:11,875 she's ready to crash 154 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,500 and she just doesn't have a lot of time. 155 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:16,250 She's on call for, 156 00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:20,875 when you're delivering babies, they come at all hours. 157 00:09:22,042 --> 00:09:26,583 - The reason I chose to follow a midwifery path 158 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:28,542 instead of being a doctor 159 00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,875 was I liked the way midwifes thought. 160 00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:34,708 - Hi. - How are you feeling? 161 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:38,500 They're more natural and aren't pushing drugs so much. 162 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,833 So I like that. 163 00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:43,583 And I had a baby and I woke up the next morning 164 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,250 and decided I was gonna be a midwife. 165 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:46,375 I didn't know when. 166 00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,542 I didn't know how, I didn't know where, 167 00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:51,917 but I knew that that was what I was gonna do. 168 00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:57,833 When you're a certified nurse midwife 169 00:09:57,917 --> 00:10:00,000 and you're doing a home birth or clinic birth, 170 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,167 you're the laboratory, 171 00:10:01,208 --> 00:10:03,417 you're the dietary, you're the laundry, 172 00:10:03,542 --> 00:10:06,500 you're the housekeeper. (laughs) 173 00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:09,417 You're the nurse and the midwife, you know? 174 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,333 So it's a lot, but I like it. 175 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:14,167 And they like it because they don't wanna have 27 people 176 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,708 in the room telling them 27 different things to do. 177 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,917 - One thing about my mom's job 178 00:10:22,042 --> 00:10:25,458 and duties to the community is constantly being pulled away 179 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,125 from important situations that, 180 00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:31,667 you know, keep her from getting things done personally. 181 00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:38,708 (dramatic music) 182 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,208 I do believe there's avoidance 183 00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,792 in her wanting to come back home 184 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:48,625 because she doesn't wanna physically see the stuff 185 00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:50,750 and know that she has to deal with it. 186 00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:52,833 - I don't know her personal habits, 187 00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:54,458 I don't know where she goes. 188 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:55,958 It's not my business to know, 189 00:10:56,042 --> 00:10:57,833 but I will know that she doesn't come home sometimes 190 00:10:57,875 --> 00:11:00,000 for days and days and days and we'll be like, 191 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:01,208 where is Terri? 192 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,708 - Maggie came and helped me, 193 00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:11,375 but she really didn't know how to help 194 00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:13,500 and it wasn't near this bad then. 195 00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,375 It wasn't even like, none of this was here. 196 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,833 Now she's just seen, you know, 197 00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:24,500 that I need help and she's educated herself 198 00:11:24,625 --> 00:11:26,792 and she wants me to be happy. 199 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,958 - If my mom doesn't accept the help 200 00:11:33,042 --> 00:11:36,667 and go through with getting rid of the items, 201 00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:38,792 I'm not sure what's going to be at stake 202 00:11:38,875 --> 00:11:40,333 for our relationship. 203 00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,708 I don't know how to sleep at night 204 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,292 knowing my mom is living like this. 205 00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,167 (dramatic music) 206 00:11:57,292 --> 00:11:58,167 (suspenseful music) 207 00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:13,208 - It's really embarrassing to have a house like this 208 00:12:13,292 --> 00:12:16,458 because then you're the butt of everybody's jokes 209 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,833 and anybody that walks by your house, 210 00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,208 they're shaking their head 211 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,667 and just not knowing why anybody would do that. 212 00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:26,708 But it's embarrassing, it's terrible. 213 00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:31,125 (dramatic music) 214 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,250 (David knocks on door) 215 00:12:50,042 --> 00:12:52,417 - Terri, hi, I'm Dr. Tolin. 216 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:53,958 How are you? 217 00:12:54,042 --> 00:12:55,833 - Hi, I'm fine, how are you? - I'm okay, may I come in? 218 00:12:55,917 --> 00:12:58,833 - If you'd like. - Okay, great, thank you. 219 00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:00,333 My name is Dr. David Tolin. 220 00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:02,750 I'm a clinical psychologist and I specialize 221 00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:05,750 in the study and treatment of hoarding disorder. 222 00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:09,042 Well, thank you for having me in and, you know, 223 00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:12,750 my aim here today is just to look around a little bit, 224 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,250 get the lay of the land, 225 00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:15,958 but also talk to you a little bit about, you know, 226 00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:17,875 where we might want to go with this. 227 00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:21,333 I see there's a lot of stuff in here 228 00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,958 and I'd be curious to get your sense of 229 00:13:24,042 --> 00:13:25,250 why you think this happened. 230 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,167 - I don't know. 231 00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:28,833 I really, I think I was just busy. 232 00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:32,292 I'd come in, lay things down, go back, lay things down, 233 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:36,250 go back and I just never, it just got outta hand. 234 00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,958 - I'm kind of interested in getting a sense 235 00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,583 of how well you feel like you're able to function 236 00:13:40,708 --> 00:13:42,542 in this house, just- 237 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:45,042 - I don't, I'm not. - You're not. 238 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,042 So I'm just sort of thinking real basics, 239 00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:49,208 like cooking, sleeping. - It's less than camping. 240 00:13:49,292 --> 00:13:50,375 - Going to the bathroom. - It's worse. 241 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:54,000 It's like camping here, you know, it really is. 242 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,042 - Yeah, how are you doing in terms of 243 00:13:56,125 --> 00:14:00,292 your ability to eat meals here? 244 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,333 - I have to eat out. - You have to eat out, okay. 245 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,667 - Bring food in or to eat, you know, 246 00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,875 pick up something and then, you know, 247 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,875 I even have to go somewhere to use a toilet 248 00:14:08,958 --> 00:14:11,875 'cause my toilets aren't working because, you know. 249 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,917 - Where do you go? - I go over to Stephanie's. 250 00:14:14,042 --> 00:14:15,833 - Okay, so you're going over to neighbor's houses 251 00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:18,292 and using their bathrooms 'cause yours aren't working. 252 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:19,667 Sleeping? 253 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,583 - No, I sleep here, but it's disgusting. 254 00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:26,083 - When you live in an environment such as this, 255 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:28,542 I think different people have different reactions. 256 00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:30,000 Some people just shut it out 257 00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:32,333 and pretend it's not even there. 258 00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:34,458 In Terri's case, I think what's happening is 259 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,708 that she feels a really intense sense of shame. 260 00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:39,333 She's very embarrassed about this. 261 00:14:39,417 --> 00:14:41,625 She doesn't want people to know about it, 262 00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:44,917 so she keeps quiet about it and doesn't reach out for help. 263 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,833 But of course that just makes the problem worse. 264 00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,583 So I'd like to get a sense 265 00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:51,750 of how the rest of the house looks 266 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,167 and I wonder if you could give me a little tour. 267 00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,583 Maybe we could start with the kitchen. 268 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:55,667 Could you show me that? 269 00:14:55,708 --> 00:14:57,125 - Okay, sure. - Okay. 270 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:01,667 - This is my kitchen. - This is the kitchen, okay. 271 00:15:01,792 --> 00:15:03,000 - Yes. - Yeah, so. 272 00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:04,875 - I haven't cooked in here in years. 273 00:15:04,958 --> 00:15:06,083 - Yeah, it seems pretty clear 274 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:08,125 that you couldn't actually cook in here. 275 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,125 Now I'm just curious, do you have water in the house? 276 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:12,250 Do you have running water? 277 00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:13,500 - No, no. 278 00:15:13,542 --> 00:15:16,625 We had a bad freeze here a couple of years ago 279 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,167 and it broke some pipes. 280 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,167 - Well, let me ask about that. 281 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,375 I mean, what do you think 282 00:15:20,375 --> 00:15:23,000 has prevented that from getting fixed? 283 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,833 - [Terri] You can't have somebody in your home 284 00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:27,875 when it looks like this. 285 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,417 - I see, so clutter in the home 286 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:33,333 is preventing you from bringing somebody in. 287 00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:34,333 - [Terri] Exactly. 288 00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,167 - Who can actually fix your plumbing 289 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,750 and then therefore you're left without running water. 290 00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:39,583 Okay. 291 00:15:42,917 --> 00:15:44,375 And I'm just kind of looking 292 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,833 at all the stuff that's in the kitchen, you know, 293 00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,833 it seems like there's a lot of stuff 294 00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:50,833 that isn't really kitchen stuff in here. 295 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,333 - True. - Yeah, so what's happening? 296 00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:53,500 What do you think is the process? 297 00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:54,875 - It's just coming home, 298 00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:56,917 sitting it down and going on my way. 299 00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,333 - [David] Do you have a sense 300 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,500 of why you do all that purchasing? 301 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:01,500 What's the intention there? 302 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,292 - [Terri] It's just a feeling of elation. 303 00:16:04,292 --> 00:16:07,333 - So you feel a sense of elation when you buy something? 304 00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:08,500 - Mm-hmm. 305 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:10,125 - So you really get kind of a thrill out of that? 306 00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:11,708 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 307 00:16:11,792 --> 00:16:14,667 Are you buying these things for some reason other than that? 308 00:16:14,792 --> 00:16:16,000 - I buy 'em for other people, 309 00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:16,917 but I don't see the other people, 310 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,542 so I don't know why I buy them. 311 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:20,333 - So you're buying things with the intention 312 00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:21,708 of giving them away but you don't. 313 00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:23,125 - But I don't now, but I did, yes. 314 00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,333 - Okay, but you don't really give it away. 315 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,083 - [Terri] Right, I don't really give it away. 316 00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:27,542 - So good intentions. - But not even- 317 00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:29,083 - But not following through. 318 00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:31,667 When was the last time you cooked a meal? 319 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,250 - It was before the fire. 320 00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:34,708 - And how long ago was that again? 321 00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:36,167 - Probably three years. - Three years? 322 00:16:36,292 --> 00:16:37,583 It's been three years since you cooked a meal. 323 00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,333 How long has you it been since you had guests over? 324 00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:46,292 - Never, I mean, I don't know. 325 00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:48,333 - She's not opening up to me very much. 326 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,625 I mean, she's not giving me a whole lot of details. 327 00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:53,833 Her answers are pretty short, not clear what that's about. 328 00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:55,500 Now I know that as a midwife, 329 00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:57,250 she didn't get much sleep last night. 330 00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,708 She's been very busy. 331 00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:01,292 So maybe she's just kind of shut down for those reasons. 332 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:04,000 But my hope is that as I get to know her, 333 00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:06,000 as she gets to know me, 334 00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:08,042 we're gonna be able to talk more about these things 335 00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:10,417 because you gotta talk about it in order to change it. 336 00:17:10,542 --> 00:17:12,625 I wonder if we could take a look at the bedroom. 337 00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:14,208 - Okay. 338 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:15,125 - I'm interested in sort of seeing where you sleep. 339 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,792 - It's the worst. 340 00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:18,000 - Okay, well, let's go take a look. 341 00:17:18,792 --> 00:17:20,000 - [Terri] Okay. 342 00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:21,000 - As I'm touring the house with Terri, 343 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,167 it's very clear that this house 344 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,375 is completely non-functional. 345 00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:27,625 This is a very densely packed house. 346 00:17:27,708 --> 00:17:29,250 I mean, to get anywhere, 347 00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:31,583 you're having to walk over piles of stuff. 348 00:17:31,708 --> 00:17:34,667 So it's very clear that this is a serious problem 349 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:36,833 that's been going on for a really long time. 350 00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:40,292 - Here's the bathroom that I only use in an emergency. 351 00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:41,167 - Can I look at the bathroom? 352 00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:42,250 - Sure. - All right. 353 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:44,833 So it's very full here, right? 354 00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:46,500 - Very full. - Okay. 355 00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:48,250 And you don't have a working? - No. 356 00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:50,458 - Toilet, no water here. - No. 357 00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:53,167 - Where do you bathe? - At the clinic. 358 00:17:53,292 --> 00:17:55,417 - At the clinic, okay, okay. 359 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:59,375 All right, so it seems like very hard to function in this. 360 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,500 - Yes. - Okay. 361 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,708 - It's not functional. - Yeah, I see that. 362 00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:09,083 So this is where you spend most of your time? 363 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:10,333 - [Terri] Yes. 364 00:18:10,417 --> 00:18:11,625 - And it looks like you've just got, 365 00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:12,708 kind of got a little corner of the bed here. 366 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,333 - Yes, the whole, yeah. - Okay. 367 00:18:14,417 --> 00:18:17,167 And you eat in here, you watch TV in here, okay. 368 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:20,500 - Sleep in here. - It seems sad. 369 00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:24,167 It seems like kind of a sad existence. 370 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,875 Does it seem that way to you too? 371 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,667 - Well, I don't want it this way, so yes. 372 00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:29,917 - Yeah. 373 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,500 Yeah, yeah, I really, I feel for you, 374 00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:32,667 and I'd like to see 375 00:18:32,708 --> 00:18:33,917 if there's something we can do about this. 376 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,208 - Me too. 377 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,333 - The general impression I get of Terri 378 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,250 is that she's a very sweet and very giving person. 379 00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,500 She gives to her community as a midwife. 380 00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:45,500 She's really invested in taking care of other people. 381 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:48,833 She's not so invested in taking care of herself. 382 00:18:48,958 --> 00:18:51,333 You know, one of the things that I kind of have learned 383 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,708 about you is, you know, as a midwife, 384 00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:57,167 you're very involved in the community and I just, 385 00:18:57,292 --> 00:19:00,875 it seems like you give a lot to other people, 386 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,875 and it seems like you're always there for the community. 387 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,333 And I wonder whether you've done so 388 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:09,167 at the detriment to your own wellbeing 389 00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:11,000 and whether you're ready to prioritize 390 00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:12,250 your own wellbeing now. 391 00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:14,125 - Yeah. 392 00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:16,500 Yes, I am. 393 00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:17,667 - Yeah. 394 00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:20,000 Yeah, because you're important too, right? 395 00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:21,292 All those babies are important, 396 00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:22,458 and I know there's a lot of work that you do, 397 00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:24,208 but you're important and you deserve, 398 00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:26,500 I think, to live better than this, right? 399 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,417 - I know I'm better than this. 400 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,625 - Yeah. - I get it. 401 00:19:29,708 --> 00:19:30,375 But... 402 00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:34,250 - But it's been hard for you to get control of it. 403 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,333 I definitely get it, yeah. 404 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:40,333 I think Terri's major coping strategy has been avoidance. 405 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:43,000 So she avoids sorting, she avoids discarding, 406 00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:46,458 and much of the time she even avoids being in her house. 407 00:19:46,542 --> 00:19:51,167 So her strategy has been to just block it all out. 408 00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:53,125 But of course, that doesn't solve the problem. 409 00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:54,833 And in fact, it just makes it worse. 410 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:58,833 One issue that I do want to talk about 411 00:20:00,208 --> 00:20:01,375 is just kind of pragmatically 412 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,250 about how we're gonna work this out is, 413 00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:05,542 I noticed that you were late this morning, 414 00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:07,792 and I just wanted to kind of get a sense of, it's okay, 415 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,875 but I wanted to get a sense of what that was about 416 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,125 and see if there's an issue 417 00:20:11,208 --> 00:20:13,208 that we need to deal with going forward. 418 00:20:13,292 --> 00:20:15,375 - No, first off, I woke up sick this morning, 419 00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:16,667 five o'clock this morning. 420 00:20:16,708 --> 00:20:18,333 I was sick. - Yeah, I'm sorry for that. 421 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,000 - But then I got to the clinic at seven 422 00:20:20,083 --> 00:20:21,917 and I was getting everything done. 423 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,667 I just kept feeling worse and worse. 424 00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:27,083 And then we have a board meeting at nine o'clock 425 00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:28,667 on the first Friday of the month, 426 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:32,042 and normally everybody's there at eight o'clock. 427 00:20:32,042 --> 00:20:32,833 It's just the way it is, you know? 428 00:20:32,875 --> 00:20:34,333 - Yeah. 429 00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:38,500 - Not today, I mean, straggling in at 9:15, I'm like. 430 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,583 - Hmm. - I've got places to be. 431 00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:42,583 (David chuckles) 432 00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:43,667 - I got you. 433 00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,125 - Of course, I'm not telling them about this. 434 00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:47,917 I'm not bragging to anybody about this. 435 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:48,917 - [David] Yeah. 436 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,542 - And so, you know, 437 00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,667 I couldn't really say I have somewhere else to be, come on. 438 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,167 I mean, you know? 439 00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:55,417 - [David] Understood, you were kinda stuck. 440 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,667 - I'm accountable to them too. - Okay. 441 00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,417 You know, the tricky piece here is of course, 442 00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:01,000 I want you to feel a sense of control over this process. 443 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,167 - Right, right, right. I understand. 444 00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:03,167 - I don't want you to feel like things 445 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:04,542 are being done without your consent. 446 00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:07,333 - I know, I know, but it's the situation I put myself in. 447 00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,833 - Okay, so we gotta do what we gotta do. 448 00:21:08,958 --> 00:21:13,083 I understand this isn't her fault, but at the same time, 449 00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:15,375 we do seem to have quite a crisis here. 450 00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:18,917 And if we can't prioritize it, if we can't make the time, 451 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,542 and if we can't capture Terri's attention and focus on this, 452 00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:24,292 I don't know how far we're gonna get. 453 00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:25,500 (dramatic music) 454 00:21:29,292 --> 00:21:30,833 (suspenseful music) 455 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:05,417 Well, good morning everybody, and Stephanie and Joann, 456 00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,750 it's nice to have you here. - Yeah. 457 00:22:06,833 --> 00:22:09,458 - Thank you for being here. - You're welcome. 458 00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:10,750 - So Stephanie, you are Terri's neighbor? 459 00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:11,833 - Yes. 460 00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,083 - And Joann, you are Stephanie's mother? 461 00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:14,625 - Yes. - Okay. 462 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,583 And you all are friends and that's nice of you to be here. 463 00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:18,333 I really appreciate it. - Thank you. 464 00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,958 - Let me ask, 465 00:22:20,042 --> 00:22:21,958 how long has it been since you've been inside this house? 466 00:22:22,042 --> 00:22:25,167 (suspenseful music) 467 00:22:25,292 --> 00:22:26,750 - I've never been inside. 468 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:28,000 I've never been inside. - You've never been inside? 469 00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:29,042 - I've never been inside. - Never been inside, okay. 470 00:22:29,167 --> 00:22:30,500 - [Joann] No. 471 00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,833 - Terri, I wonder if you could speak to why that is. 472 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,167 - Because you can't get through the door. 473 00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:35,083 (Stephanie laughs) 474 00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:36,333 - Okay, okay. 475 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:37,958 - Because I've chose to live like this. 476 00:22:38,042 --> 00:22:39,292 - Hmm. 477 00:22:39,375 --> 00:22:40,875 It's an interesting word that you use, choose. 478 00:22:40,958 --> 00:22:43,375 Yeah, what feels like a choice to you? 479 00:22:44,792 --> 00:22:48,958 - Well, nobody else did it, so it was my choice to do it. 480 00:22:49,042 --> 00:22:50,167 - Okay. 481 00:22:50,208 --> 00:22:52,125 - Nobody made me. (laughs) 482 00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:53,667 - Hopefully now you're choosing to do something different. 483 00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:55,542 - Right, right, right. - Okay, that's terrific. 484 00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,375 - So I thought maybe a good first step 485 00:22:58,458 --> 00:22:59,583 would be for Stephanie and Joann 486 00:22:59,708 --> 00:23:02,042 to go take a look in the house 487 00:23:02,125 --> 00:23:03,542 and see what we're looking at, 488 00:23:03,667 --> 00:23:05,167 and then come back out and talk to us. 489 00:23:05,250 --> 00:23:06,458 Would that be all right with you? 490 00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:08,083 - Well, what if they change their minds? 491 00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:09,750 - Well, okay, that's always possible. 492 00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:11,375 - (laughs) We won't change our minds! 493 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:12,667 I won't change my mind, I promise. 494 00:23:12,750 --> 00:23:14,083 - But, you know, I think this is an issue where 495 00:23:14,208 --> 00:23:16,917 a lot of people in this position get kind of ashamed of it, 496 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,750 and they don't want people to see it, 497 00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:20,875 and they worry what people are gonna think of them, but. 498 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,500 - Exactly. 499 00:23:22,542 --> 00:23:23,667 - You know, maybe it's time for us 500 00:23:23,792 --> 00:23:25,208 to kind of challenge that a little bit and go, 501 00:23:25,292 --> 00:23:27,500 okay, maybe Stephanie and Joann will be supportive here. 502 00:23:27,542 --> 00:23:29,667 - They will. - Okay. 503 00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:33,583 (somber instrumental music) 504 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,125 - [Joann] Oh my! 505 00:23:41,042 --> 00:23:43,500 - [Stephanie] Okay, this is not what I expected. 506 00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:45,167 I thought she had floor. 507 00:23:45,292 --> 00:23:47,167 Ah, Terri. 508 00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:48,000 - Yeah. 509 00:23:49,208 --> 00:23:51,875 - I don't even have words right now. 510 00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,375 I don't know that I've ever been 511 00:23:56,458 --> 00:23:58,583 without words to quite this extent. 512 00:23:59,875 --> 00:24:02,000 - Stephanie, you wanna come see the bedrooms? 513 00:24:02,958 --> 00:24:03,875 (exhale) 514 00:24:08,792 --> 00:24:12,208 Isn't it amazing to think that somebody can buy so much? 515 00:24:12,292 --> 00:24:14,833 (Stephanie sighs) 516 00:24:14,958 --> 00:24:16,000 Poor Terri. 517 00:24:18,417 --> 00:24:19,667 Yeah, I want out. 518 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:20,792 - You want out, I know. 519 00:24:22,708 --> 00:24:24,292 I've said in the past, 520 00:24:24,292 --> 00:24:27,333 people should be free to live the way they choose to live 521 00:24:27,375 --> 00:24:29,833 as long as it's not hurting someone else. 522 00:24:29,875 --> 00:24:33,042 And until today, I really did believe that. 523 00:24:33,042 --> 00:24:35,167 I don't know if I believe that anymore, 524 00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:38,083 because she was hurting herself and she knew it. 525 00:24:38,208 --> 00:24:40,708 And so I don't know what I could have done before, 526 00:24:40,792 --> 00:24:41,833 but I feel like I should have tried 527 00:24:41,875 --> 00:24:43,500 to do something to help her. 528 00:24:44,292 --> 00:24:46,667 You should have told us, Terri, 529 00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:48,833 we would've helped you so much sooner. 530 00:24:48,958 --> 00:24:49,792 Come here. 531 00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:55,625 And we're gonna fix it, and we're gonna make it right. 532 00:24:55,625 --> 00:24:58,500 And everybody has problems, everybody does. 533 00:24:58,583 --> 00:24:59,750 And you're making it right. 534 00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:01,500 And I admire you so much. 535 00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:04,333 I admire you so much for being so strong and bright. 536 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:05,583 I really do and you know that. 537 00:25:05,708 --> 00:25:07,750 And we're gonna make it right. 538 00:25:07,875 --> 00:25:12,458 - Yeah, you got help. So let people help you though. 539 00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,000 - Yeah. 540 00:25:15,875 --> 00:25:18,667 - What I want to do is have everybody meet together, 541 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:21,417 including with Dorothy, the organizer, and her team, 542 00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,667 so that we'll talk through what we're gonna do this morning 543 00:25:23,708 --> 00:25:25,167 and how we're gonna make it through the day 544 00:25:25,250 --> 00:25:27,083 and what kinds of things we're all gonna be doing, okay? 545 00:25:27,208 --> 00:25:28,667 - [Terri] Okay. 546 00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:32,250 - Good morning, everybody! 547 00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:34,125 - [Group] Good morning! 548 00:25:34,208 --> 00:25:35,500 - I'm Dorothy Breininger. 549 00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:37,500 I'm a professional organizing expert, 550 00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:39,625 and I specialize in hoarding. 551 00:25:39,708 --> 00:25:41,208 Thank you for being here. 552 00:25:41,292 --> 00:25:42,833 We have quite a group, don't we? 553 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,625 - Yes. - Let me tell you who's who. 554 00:25:44,708 --> 00:25:46,917 First of all, we've got Terri, 555 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,375 we're gonna be working with you and for you today. 556 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,792 We have your lovely daughter, Maggie. 557 00:25:51,875 --> 00:25:55,458 We've got Stephanie, Joann, friends and neighbors. 558 00:25:55,542 --> 00:25:58,083 Of course, we've got our certified boss organizers, 559 00:25:58,208 --> 00:26:03,042 and we've got Dax with his Mr. Junk team and Dr. Tolin, yay. 560 00:26:04,417 --> 00:26:06,458 So a lot of people supporting you. 561 00:26:06,542 --> 00:26:07,833 You ready for that? - Mm-hmm. 562 00:26:07,875 --> 00:26:11,667 It's already bringing up tears, isn't it? 563 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,375 Dr. Tolin? (laughs) 564 00:26:13,458 --> 00:26:14,750 Normally I'd say something, 565 00:26:14,875 --> 00:26:16,250 but I'll just hand it over to you for a minute. 566 00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:17,292 - Okay sure. 567 00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:19,042 Well, let me just check and see. 568 00:26:19,125 --> 00:26:20,250 How are you feeling right now, Terri? 569 00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:24,000 - Embarrassed. (laughs) 570 00:26:24,042 --> 00:26:25,208 - You know, that's a theme that I think 571 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:27,000 has come up a lot in our conversations, right? 572 00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:29,417 A lot of embarrassment, a lot of shame. 573 00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:30,625 Can you say a little bit about that? 574 00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:32,333 What do you find embarrassing here? 575 00:26:33,583 --> 00:26:35,500 - That I chose to live like this. 576 00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:36,750 (light piano music) 577 00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:38,292 - I wonder whether this is really a choice 578 00:26:38,375 --> 00:26:41,625 versus something that you kind of slid into, you know, 579 00:26:41,708 --> 00:26:44,750 maybe even against your best intentions. 580 00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:46,833 - I just believe in responsibility for your actions, 581 00:26:46,958 --> 00:26:48,833 and I took this action and I'm, 582 00:26:48,917 --> 00:26:51,292 I wanna be responsible so I don't repeat it. 583 00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:52,667 - I do too. 584 00:26:52,708 --> 00:26:53,333 - [Terri] I don't wanna push it off on anybody. 585 00:26:53,375 --> 00:26:54,750 It was all me. 586 00:26:54,875 --> 00:26:56,000 - I hear you, I hear you. 587 00:26:56,042 --> 00:26:58,375 Maggie, how are you feeling right now? 588 00:26:58,458 --> 00:26:59,833 - I'm very emotional. - Yeah. 589 00:26:59,958 --> 00:27:02,583 - Super excited, grateful mostly 590 00:27:02,583 --> 00:27:03,958 that you guys are all here to help 591 00:27:04,042 --> 00:27:06,750 showing just empathy that, you know, 592 00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:08,208 that this could happen to any of us. 593 00:27:08,292 --> 00:27:09,500 - Sure. 594 00:27:09,667 --> 00:27:11,583 Trying to get her back on track and support her 595 00:27:11,708 --> 00:27:14,083 like she's always supported me. 596 00:27:14,167 --> 00:27:17,667 And just, you know, be a better daughter as well 597 00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:19,750 and step up to the challenge. 598 00:27:20,583 --> 00:27:22,083 - I'm glad, Maggie, 599 00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:23,167 I'm glad that you're, 600 00:27:23,292 --> 00:27:25,458 that you're really enthusiastic about it, yeah. 601 00:27:25,542 --> 00:27:28,875 And Stephanie and Joann, what are your thoughts about this? 602 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,833 - I am so inspired by Terri 603 00:27:32,833 --> 00:27:35,000 because I feel like we all have something 604 00:27:35,083 --> 00:27:38,583 and that she's acknowledging it and asking for help. 605 00:27:38,667 --> 00:27:40,333 - Yeah, Joann? 606 00:27:40,417 --> 00:27:43,750 - Well, I'm just hoping that when she sees it all done, 607 00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:46,667 that she will appreciate what is there 608 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:48,625 and you'll keep it that way, I know you will. 609 00:27:48,708 --> 00:27:50,667 - All right, whew. 610 00:27:50,708 --> 00:27:51,750 (group laughs) 611 00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:53,292 That's some stuff, everybody. 612 00:27:53,292 --> 00:27:56,458 Really thank you for your candor and your honesty. 613 00:27:56,542 --> 00:28:00,083 And now it's the time for the plan. 614 00:28:00,083 --> 00:28:02,292 Like, how are we going to do this? 615 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:05,167 It looks like there's eight tons worth of stuff in there. 616 00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:07,375 And I don't say that just like, flippantly. 617 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,042 There's a lot in there. 618 00:28:09,042 --> 00:28:11,583 The first thing we're going to do is go in the front door, 619 00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:13,917 and that's where Mr. Junk is gonna be. 620 00:28:14,042 --> 00:28:16,833 We're gonna be out here collecting what comes out. 621 00:28:16,958 --> 00:28:19,000 You'll review it or say it's trash 622 00:28:19,125 --> 00:28:21,667 and you're gonna get it to the right location. 623 00:28:21,792 --> 00:28:24,167 I know we are ready, like we're ready. 624 00:28:24,208 --> 00:28:25,833 (group laughs) 625 00:28:25,917 --> 00:28:27,792 All right, are you all ready? 626 00:28:27,875 --> 00:28:31,417 - Absolutely. - Okay, everybody, let's go. 627 00:28:31,542 --> 00:28:34,292 (dramatic music) 628 00:28:43,708 --> 00:28:44,750 - How about this? 629 00:28:44,833 --> 00:28:46,333 - I don't need that. 630 00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:57,417 (dramatic music) 631 00:28:59,208 --> 00:29:01,833 - I don't know, just get rid of it. 632 00:29:01,917 --> 00:29:03,000 Just get rid of it, really I don't wanna look at it. 633 00:29:03,042 --> 00:29:04,375 Just go. 634 00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:08,250 - Here we are in the first 10, 15 minutes, 635 00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:13,000 I'm watching Terri sort and she's toss, toss, toss, toss. 636 00:29:13,042 --> 00:29:14,375 Like, wow, this is unusual. 637 00:29:15,417 --> 00:29:17,125 Hey, Dr. Tolin. - Hello. 638 00:29:17,208 --> 00:29:19,292 - I wanted you to come over. - Okay. 639 00:29:19,375 --> 00:29:21,458 First of all, Terri's doing very well. 640 00:29:21,542 --> 00:29:23,208 - Terrific. - Letting things go. 641 00:29:23,333 --> 00:29:28,083 And I love it whenever a client says, in this case, 642 00:29:28,208 --> 00:29:30,667 Terri, what should I do with this trash can? 643 00:29:30,708 --> 00:29:32,625 And it is came from the living room. 644 00:29:32,708 --> 00:29:35,167 What it looks like on top is trash. 645 00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:36,208 - Yeah. 646 00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:37,667 - But she doesn't know what's in there. 647 00:29:37,708 --> 00:29:38,958 - Yeah. 648 00:29:39,042 --> 00:29:39,917 - And Terri says, go ahead and tell 'em. 649 00:29:40,042 --> 00:29:41,417 - I said, I don't need it. 650 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:43,208 Just take it, I don't wanna look through it. 651 00:29:43,292 --> 00:29:44,333 - Wow. 652 00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:45,750 How did you make that decision, Terri? 653 00:29:47,042 --> 00:29:50,750 - It wasn't a big process. (laughs) 654 00:29:50,875 --> 00:29:52,042 - I'm really impressed by that, 655 00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:53,250 'cause I think a lot of people 656 00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:55,125 might feel compelled to go dig through it. 657 00:29:55,208 --> 00:29:56,333 Now, I'm just really impressed 658 00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:57,583 by the fact that you're not doing that. 659 00:29:57,667 --> 00:29:59,417 - Me too. (laughs) 660 00:29:59,542 --> 00:30:01,167 - I'm just wanting to get this done as quickly as possible. 661 00:30:01,250 --> 00:30:03,500 - Fair enough, as do we. - It's very painful. 662 00:30:05,958 --> 00:30:08,000 - What are you finding painful about it? 663 00:30:08,042 --> 00:30:09,583 - Just all of it. 664 00:30:09,667 --> 00:30:14,292 - I get a sense that she wants me to know that this is hard, 665 00:30:15,750 --> 00:30:17,167 but she doesn't really want me to intervene. 666 00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:20,417 - I just, I just wanna get through it as quick as possible. 667 00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:23,833 - The problem is that you can only keep 668 00:30:23,833 --> 00:30:26,667 those emotions at bay so long before they come out. 669 00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:27,917 And if you haven't dealt with them, 670 00:30:28,042 --> 00:30:29,667 they're gonna come out sideways 671 00:30:29,750 --> 00:30:31,500 in ways that are really unhealthy. 672 00:30:31,583 --> 00:30:34,125 So I'm gonna keep poking at Terri 673 00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:36,542 and see if she's willing to open up to me. 674 00:30:36,667 --> 00:30:38,250 (dramatic music) 675 00:30:42,417 --> 00:30:44,083 (suspenseful music) 676 00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:47,833 - [Dorothy] So we'll leave the key, 677 00:30:47,917 --> 00:30:50,667 we'll leave the tools in here for her to look at. 678 00:30:50,708 --> 00:30:51,500 - [Helper] Okay. 679 00:30:51,500 --> 00:30:55,792 - [Helper] Okay. 680 00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:03,167 - There's never been a time 681 00:31:03,292 --> 00:31:07,333 where we've run out of things to give to you to sort. 682 00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:09,083 - Yay! - Never. 683 00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:10,542 We're gonna go back in 684 00:31:10,625 --> 00:31:12,833 and try to fill up these tarps before they sort it, 685 00:31:12,917 --> 00:31:14,542 because we're the ones who are behind. 686 00:31:14,625 --> 00:31:15,750 - We should work faster, people! 687 00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:17,917 - Yeah. (laughs) 688 00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:21,583 - You know, we wanna start sort of right to left here, okay? 689 00:31:21,708 --> 00:31:24,250 (bright music) 690 00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:38,833 - And this is some kind of. 691 00:31:38,958 --> 00:31:40,458 - [Dorothy] Terri, 692 00:31:40,542 --> 00:31:41,708 you want us to keep all the milk glass, right? 693 00:31:41,792 --> 00:31:44,500 - I think you can donate it. 694 00:31:44,542 --> 00:31:45,958 Yes, I don't, I don't. 695 00:31:46,042 --> 00:31:47,583 - Okay, watch this. 696 00:31:47,667 --> 00:31:48,625 What? (laughs) 697 00:31:48,708 --> 00:31:50,167 - Yeah. - Wow. 698 00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:54,333 I just, (laughs) I'd like to share with you Dr. Tolin. 699 00:31:54,417 --> 00:31:55,667 - Yeah. 700 00:31:55,750 --> 00:31:57,333 - Early on when Terri and I talked. 701 00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,167 - Yeah. 702 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,417 - Milk glass was something that 703 00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:02,458 was really something she wanted to keep. 704 00:32:02,542 --> 00:32:03,500 - Yeah. 705 00:32:03,583 --> 00:32:04,375 - But that was a few days ago. 706 00:32:04,458 --> 00:32:05,458 - Hmm. - Right? 707 00:32:05,542 --> 00:32:06,625 - Yeah. - And now. 708 00:32:06,708 --> 00:32:08,125 - And I changed my mind. - Oh. 709 00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:10,000 - And look at what she's saying. 710 00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:11,333 - All right. - Let it go. 711 00:32:11,458 --> 00:32:12,750 - I don't need it. 712 00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:13,667 - How did you change your mind, Terri? 713 00:32:13,708 --> 00:32:14,958 - I can't keep it all. 714 00:32:15,042 --> 00:32:16,292 - All right, so you're okay letting it go? 715 00:32:16,375 --> 00:32:17,875 - [Terri] Yep, I wanna let it go. 716 00:32:17,958 --> 00:32:20,042 - [Dorothy] Okay, and we have a bunch 717 00:32:20,167 --> 00:32:21,500 that we've saved over there, 718 00:32:21,542 --> 00:32:22,667 but we're gonna put it over in the giveaway. 719 00:32:22,750 --> 00:32:23,958 - Now, let me just check, Terri. 720 00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:25,125 You're not gonna wake up tomorrow morning 721 00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:26,333 and go, oh my God, what did I do? 722 00:32:26,375 --> 00:32:27,958 - No, I don't, I think I'll be okay. 723 00:32:28,042 --> 00:32:30,917 - I'm just not, I've not experienced this. 724 00:32:31,042 --> 00:32:32,667 - I'm so tired of it. 725 00:32:32,750 --> 00:32:34,833 It's an albatross. 726 00:32:34,917 --> 00:32:37,333 - Just never, never, never 727 00:32:37,375 --> 00:32:39,667 have I experienced someone say no. 728 00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,667 Even something I love goes. 729 00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:43,333 - Yeah. - New for me. 730 00:32:43,417 --> 00:32:45,958 - Yeah, but I think very healthy for Terri. 731 00:32:46,042 --> 00:32:48,083 So far, Terri's doing a good job. 732 00:32:48,167 --> 00:32:49,833 She's making the right decisions. 733 00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:51,500 - Off we go. - Nice job, Terri. 734 00:32:51,583 --> 00:32:52,333 - [Terri] Thank you. 735 00:32:52,417 --> 00:32:54,250 - So on that level, I'm happy. 736 00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:58,083 I just kind of want to watch out for her emotional wellbeing 737 00:32:58,167 --> 00:33:01,000 and make sure that she doesn't end up 738 00:33:01,042 --> 00:33:04,167 feeling a lot of regret, that she doesn't backslide, 739 00:33:04,292 --> 00:33:07,167 that this doesn't turn into a power struggle. 740 00:33:07,292 --> 00:33:09,417 - I wanna check this. - Thank you. 741 00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:14,417 (light piano music) 742 00:33:18,667 --> 00:33:19,917 - Notice. - You can get in. 743 00:33:20,042 --> 00:33:21,375 - You can actually get in. - So exciting. 744 00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:24,125 - And then you have what we call a safety path. 745 00:33:24,208 --> 00:33:25,167 - Oh my goodness, right? 746 00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:28,542 Yes, that's huge, absolutely. 747 00:33:28,625 --> 00:33:31,667 - When I've asked you a couple of times, how you doing? 748 00:33:31,750 --> 00:33:34,042 You say emotional. - Yes. 749 00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:36,542 - And yet you've got the biggest, 750 00:33:36,667 --> 00:33:38,333 brightest smile on your face. 751 00:33:38,375 --> 00:33:39,333 - (laughs) Yeah. 752 00:33:41,708 --> 00:33:44,333 Just the amount of support I feel 753 00:33:45,333 --> 00:33:48,333 has been tremendous from strangers. 754 00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:49,833 - Yeah. 755 00:33:49,958 --> 00:33:51,583 From what I would imagine, 756 00:33:51,667 --> 00:33:53,667 you're the one that's had a lot of pain 757 00:33:53,750 --> 00:33:55,333 and suffering around this. 758 00:33:55,417 --> 00:33:56,208 - Yeah. 759 00:33:56,292 --> 00:33:57,417 - Because you've been going at it 760 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:58,833 and going at it for so many years. 761 00:33:58,958 --> 00:34:01,583 - Yeah, yep, absolutely. 762 00:34:01,583 --> 00:34:03,333 It's been very emotional. 763 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:04,833 - So I'm just gonna ask one more question 764 00:34:04,917 --> 00:34:06,125 and then we'll get back to the organizing 765 00:34:06,208 --> 00:34:07,667 because it's just me being curious. 766 00:34:07,792 --> 00:34:08,667 - Yeah. 767 00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:10,375 - Because for me in my life, 768 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:13,333 I put off most of my life to take care of my mom. 769 00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:15,833 She's 89 and I'm caring for her now. 770 00:34:15,917 --> 00:34:18,458 And it's like 70% of my time, 771 00:34:18,583 --> 00:34:20,667 even though I run a full-time business. 772 00:34:20,708 --> 00:34:22,208 - Yeah. 773 00:34:22,292 --> 00:34:25,875 - And I want for you to have a life for yourself. 774 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:26,792 - [Maggie] Mm-hmm. 775 00:34:26,875 --> 00:34:29,167 - Do you? 776 00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:32,083 - It's hard because I do feel guilt 777 00:34:32,208 --> 00:34:35,625 that it's gotten outta hand like this. 778 00:34:35,708 --> 00:34:38,875 Doing what I can to make it better for her 779 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,375 is just my natural way of, like, 780 00:34:41,458 --> 00:34:45,208 taking on maybe a little bit more than I can chew, but. 781 00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:46,625 - I can see you have. - Yeah. 782 00:34:46,708 --> 00:34:48,250 - I can see you have. 783 00:34:48,333 --> 00:34:51,500 You still, you must have a life to live. 784 00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:52,458 - Yeah. 785 00:34:52,542 --> 00:34:53,917 - That you just get to have it 786 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,333 any way you want without concerns. 787 00:34:55,458 --> 00:34:56,500 - Right. 788 00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:57,625 - Do you hear me raising my voice? 789 00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:58,667 - [Maggie] Yes. 790 00:34:58,833 --> 00:34:59,667 - Like that's me protecting you. 791 00:34:59,750 --> 00:35:00,958 - [Maggie] Yes. 792 00:35:01,042 --> 00:35:02,250 - I want you to have a life. - Yeah, okay. 793 00:35:02,375 --> 00:35:04,667 - Too much? - No, not at all. (laughs) 794 00:35:04,750 --> 00:35:07,000 Not at all. - I see that. 795 00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:08,833 - I feel like I put a lot of effort 796 00:35:08,917 --> 00:35:11,875 into my mom's hoarding situation, 797 00:35:11,958 --> 00:35:13,833 but I'm hoping that this will allow 798 00:35:13,958 --> 00:35:16,542 a lot of freedom for her and myself, 799 00:35:16,625 --> 00:35:18,833 that it's not a burden on us anymore. 800 00:35:19,875 --> 00:35:22,625 (dramatic music) 801 00:35:36,958 --> 00:35:38,125 Denise, can I stop you for one second? 802 00:35:38,208 --> 00:35:40,333 - [Denise] Yes. 803 00:35:40,417 --> 00:35:42,000 - Can I ask permission that everyone here 804 00:35:42,042 --> 00:35:46,042 is allowed to sort and make decisions for you? 805 00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:48,458 - Yay! (clapping) - Okay, great. 806 00:35:48,542 --> 00:35:52,042 Terri says, family, friends, go ahead. 807 00:35:52,125 --> 00:35:53,667 Make decisions without me. 808 00:35:53,708 --> 00:35:54,875 I trust you. 809 00:35:54,875 --> 00:35:56,333 So here's one for Joann. 810 00:35:56,417 --> 00:35:59,792 - Thank you. - Here's one for Stephanie. 811 00:35:59,875 --> 00:36:02,667 Like, I don't know how to cope when I have someone 812 00:36:02,708 --> 00:36:06,167 who is so willing to let their stuff go. 813 00:36:06,250 --> 00:36:08,542 - Toss, please. - Okay, you got it. 814 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:09,958 - Thank you. 815 00:36:10,042 --> 00:36:11,667 - This is just not something that happens. 816 00:36:11,750 --> 00:36:15,250 I'm not used to it and she's just delightfully easy. 817 00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:16,542 - Okay, I don't need it. 818 00:36:21,375 --> 00:36:24,167 - Here we are at the end of the day, right? 819 00:36:24,292 --> 00:36:27,000 All of our teams have these red faces 820 00:36:27,083 --> 00:36:30,833 and sweaty bodies from doing all of that work. 821 00:36:30,917 --> 00:36:33,458 But it's very gratifying for us. 822 00:36:33,542 --> 00:36:36,000 It looks like we put in, believe it or not, 823 00:36:36,083 --> 00:36:37,750 nearly two months worth of work 824 00:36:37,750 --> 00:36:40,708 just in the entryway hall and living room. 825 00:36:42,042 --> 00:36:44,167 You know, if you add up all of our hours 826 00:36:44,208 --> 00:36:45,792 and the number of people we have, 827 00:36:45,875 --> 00:36:48,417 we total up to almost two months worth of work. 828 00:36:48,542 --> 00:36:50,917 - Wow. - In that little space. 829 00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:53,000 - Amazing. - And we've got a lot to go. 830 00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:54,958 - I know, right? - It's just a dent. 831 00:36:55,042 --> 00:36:56,667 - It's just a dent. 832 00:36:56,792 --> 00:36:59,167 Now, there's some things that we need to talk about, 833 00:36:59,292 --> 00:37:01,708 which is I believe, Terri, 834 00:37:01,792 --> 00:37:03,833 you are not going to be here tomorrow. 835 00:37:03,917 --> 00:37:04,750 Is that correct? 836 00:37:04,833 --> 00:37:06,000 - That's correct. 837 00:37:06,042 --> 00:37:07,083 I can come at 3:30 when I get off work. 838 00:37:07,208 --> 00:37:09,667 - Yeah, and so normally I would go, ah! 839 00:37:11,250 --> 00:37:13,958 But you did a pretty good job today 840 00:37:14,042 --> 00:37:16,333 in terms of letting friends 841 00:37:16,417 --> 00:37:18,667 and family make decisions for you. 842 00:37:18,708 --> 00:37:22,875 So I'm going to ask you, Terri, we wanna keep going. 843 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,292 Is it okay? 844 00:37:24,375 --> 00:37:25,250 - Yes, absolutely. - That we keep going. 845 00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:27,708 - Imperative. - Imperative. 846 00:37:27,708 --> 00:37:29,208 Wow, that's trust. 847 00:37:29,292 --> 00:37:31,542 Dr. Tolin, what do you make of this? 848 00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:33,500 - My concern, just having talked with a lot of people 849 00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:36,042 and worked with a lot of people who have this issue, 850 00:37:36,125 --> 00:37:40,208 is that sometimes you give up control, which is terrific, 851 00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:42,333 and let somebody else make the decision for you. 852 00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:45,875 And then you see it and it hits home and you get upset. 853 00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:48,458 But you know, Terri, I get the sense 854 00:37:48,542 --> 00:37:50,167 that you're feeling like you can roll with it. 855 00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:52,083 You feel like you can trust the people 856 00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:53,167 who are here to support you. 857 00:37:53,250 --> 00:37:54,750 - Yes. - Yeah, that's wonderful. 858 00:37:54,833 --> 00:37:57,208 So I'd be really interested in checking in with you 859 00:37:57,333 --> 00:37:59,000 when you come back and take a look at it. 860 00:37:59,042 --> 00:38:00,292 - Okay. 861 00:38:00,417 --> 00:38:01,083 - [David] To see how you're feeling about it. 862 00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,333 - Sure. 863 00:38:02,417 --> 00:38:05,500 - Okay, so please take, you know, 864 00:38:05,542 --> 00:38:10,000 any sort of measures to relax, have tea, 865 00:38:10,042 --> 00:38:12,333 get some sleep for tonight. 866 00:38:12,417 --> 00:38:14,333 We're wrapping it up, good job. 867 00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:15,542 - Chill out. - See you in the morning. 868 00:38:15,667 --> 00:38:16,500 - All right, nice job. - Thank you. 869 00:38:16,583 --> 00:38:18,833 - Get your rest. - Thank you. 870 00:38:18,958 --> 00:38:20,125 - I've done this a lot 871 00:38:20,208 --> 00:38:22,333 and I don't think we've ever had a case 872 00:38:22,417 --> 00:38:24,875 in which the homeowner left for a day 873 00:38:24,958 --> 00:38:26,667 and entrusted a family member 874 00:38:26,708 --> 00:38:28,458 to just make all the decisions for a day. 875 00:38:28,542 --> 00:38:30,417 This'll be a new experience for me, 876 00:38:31,917 --> 00:38:34,458 but she seems insistent that she's okay with it. 877 00:38:34,542 --> 00:38:34,642 She trusts Maggie and she wants her to do it. 878 00:38:35,750 --> 00:38:36,417 She trusts Maggie and she wants her to do it. 879 00:38:36,625 --> 00:38:39,333 So, okay, we'll try it that way. 880 00:38:39,417 --> 00:38:41,917 But I will say there's a piece of me that's worried. 881 00:38:43,208 --> 00:38:43,667 (dramatic music) 882 00:39:03,417 --> 00:39:06,542 - This is the first time that I've ever experienced 883 00:39:06,625 --> 00:39:09,708 the person who's hoarding not here. 884 00:39:09,792 --> 00:39:13,625 Like, not just not here for an hour or two. 885 00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:15,875 I've seen that before, but like, I'm gone. 886 00:39:15,875 --> 00:39:18,708 I have to leave, I'm going to work. (laughs) 887 00:39:18,792 --> 00:39:22,083 We had to figure out, can we go on? 888 00:39:22,167 --> 00:39:25,167 Can we do this work without Terri? 889 00:39:25,208 --> 00:39:26,208 And the answer is yes. 890 00:39:26,375 --> 00:39:27,458 Like she's totally committed. 891 00:39:27,542 --> 00:39:28,417 She wants this done. 892 00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:30,208 She says this is the way it is. 893 00:39:30,292 --> 00:39:31,333 I've made a decision. 894 00:39:31,375 --> 00:39:33,875 Everybody can do it for me. 895 00:39:35,375 --> 00:39:38,417 (dramatic music) 896 00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:39,250 Good morning to you. 897 00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:40,208 - [Group] Good morning. 898 00:39:40,292 --> 00:39:41,208 - Dr. Tolin. - Good morning. 899 00:39:41,292 --> 00:39:42,667 - I'm feeling a little awkward 900 00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:45,875 because we're minus the actual person who hoards, 901 00:39:45,958 --> 00:39:46,833 (group laughs) - Yeah. 902 00:39:46,917 --> 00:39:47,917 - Yeah. - Yeah. 903 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,667 - And I'm a little kind of like, okay. 904 00:39:50,708 --> 00:39:52,875 - I'm really excited to get the day started. 905 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,333 I'm just kind of also looking forward 906 00:39:54,417 --> 00:39:55,875 to taking on the responsibility 907 00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:59,167 because I am an adult and I'm her daughter and I should, 908 00:39:59,250 --> 00:40:00,625 if anybody's gonna know her the best, 909 00:40:00,708 --> 00:40:01,750 it's probably gonna be me. 910 00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:04,167 And knowing what she can live without 911 00:40:04,250 --> 00:40:07,542 and what she'll probably most likely want to live with. 912 00:40:07,625 --> 00:40:11,250 - Okay so the plan is we wanna go through 913 00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:14,333 and get this area behind us clear. 914 00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:16,000 And then we're heading into the kitchen. 915 00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:19,333 So today what we're going to do is line up tarps 916 00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:22,583 so that you know, everything from this tarp 917 00:40:22,667 --> 00:40:24,500 is from the kitchen. 918 00:40:24,583 --> 00:40:27,125 Everything on this tarp is from the bathroom. 919 00:40:27,208 --> 00:40:28,167 - Okay. - All right. 920 00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:29,333 - That's good. 921 00:40:29,333 --> 00:40:30,500 - And then our teams are there 922 00:40:30,583 --> 00:40:31,333 to just run it where you tell us to run it. 923 00:40:31,417 --> 00:40:32,333 - Okay, perfect. - Okay? 924 00:40:32,458 --> 00:40:33,542 - Yeah, sounds good. 925 00:40:34,333 --> 00:40:36,667 (dramatic music) 926 00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:39,792 - The whole all the way to the wall. 927 00:40:39,875 --> 00:40:40,667 - Yeah. 928 00:40:43,458 --> 00:40:46,083 (dramatic music) 929 00:40:59,167 --> 00:41:04,000 (metal clangs) (debris clatters) 930 00:41:05,458 --> 00:41:06,958 - Ultimately, she does know she needs the change. 931 00:41:07,042 --> 00:41:09,000 She knows that she needs to deal with it. 932 00:41:09,042 --> 00:41:16,500 So I don't know if she's just not wanting to admit 933 00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:19,750 what it was really that's causing this. 934 00:41:21,833 --> 00:41:24,583 (dramatic music) 935 00:41:39,542 --> 00:41:42,583 (suspenseful music) 936 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:53,708 - Somebody told me that Terri was showing up 937 00:41:53,792 --> 00:41:56,917 and here she comes in this white doctor's kind of jacket 938 00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:00,042 walking in and she's taking her lunch hour to be with us. 939 00:42:00,167 --> 00:42:01,750 - Hey Terri, how you doing? - Hi, how are you? 940 00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:04,167 - I'm okay, I'm okay, welcome back. 941 00:42:04,250 --> 00:42:05,750 - [Terri] Thank you. 942 00:42:05,875 --> 00:42:07,042 - I know your family and friends have been doing a great job 943 00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:10,500 of making decisions and getting rid of stuff, 944 00:42:10,583 --> 00:42:12,292 but I'm also interested in getting a sense 945 00:42:12,417 --> 00:42:13,750 of how you're feeling about that 946 00:42:13,875 --> 00:42:15,750 because this is giving up an awful lot of control. 947 00:42:15,875 --> 00:42:18,333 - I know. 948 00:42:18,417 --> 00:42:19,375 - So how you feeling about that? 949 00:42:19,458 --> 00:42:22,375 - Just, it's just the way it is. 950 00:42:22,458 --> 00:42:24,667 - Okay. 951 00:42:24,750 --> 00:42:27,917 But that's not quite what I asked. 952 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,458 - Well, you said how do I feel about it? 953 00:42:29,458 --> 00:42:30,958 - Yeah. - I said it's the way it is. 954 00:42:31,042 --> 00:42:31,792 - Yeah, yeah. 955 00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:33,583 Any emotional reaction to it? 956 00:42:33,667 --> 00:42:35,792 - I mean, 957 00:42:38,417 --> 00:42:40,292 I want it cleaned out. 958 00:42:40,375 --> 00:42:42,000 - You do, I know, I know. 959 00:42:43,958 --> 00:42:46,875 Yeah, so far are you finding this process easy, hard? 960 00:42:46,958 --> 00:42:49,083 - Oh no, it's very difficult. - It is. 961 00:42:49,167 --> 00:42:51,000 - But there's no use whining and crying, you know? 962 00:42:51,125 --> 00:42:52,000 - I'm not asking you to whine and cry, but- 963 00:42:52,125 --> 00:42:53,333 - I didn't say you were. 964 00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:54,333 - You know, but open it up a little bit. 965 00:42:54,417 --> 00:42:55,792 - I didn't say you were. - Okay. 966 00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:57,292 - I just meant that I'm just not that personality type 967 00:42:57,375 --> 00:43:01,000 that I'm gonna sit here and argue about every little thing 968 00:43:01,042 --> 00:43:03,083 and stuff like that, I just don't. 969 00:43:04,375 --> 00:43:05,958 - Okay, just looking for you to let me in a little bit 970 00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:07,083 and just let me understand kind of how you're feeling 971 00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:08,250 because I'm interested in understanding 972 00:43:08,333 --> 00:43:09,792 what's going on inside you too. 973 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,458 Whenever you're trying to help somebody 974 00:43:14,542 --> 00:43:15,667 with a mental health issue, 975 00:43:15,792 --> 00:43:18,125 collaboration is really important. 976 00:43:18,208 --> 00:43:20,667 It really has to be two people coming together 977 00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:23,167 to try to figure this out together. 978 00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:26,500 Right now, I don't get a sense that Terri's on my team 979 00:43:26,625 --> 00:43:27,917 or maybe a better way of saying it 980 00:43:28,042 --> 00:43:30,583 is I don't think Terri's letting me be on her team. 981 00:43:30,667 --> 00:43:32,667 If you can tell me a little bit more 982 00:43:32,750 --> 00:43:33,792 about what's going on inside you. 983 00:43:33,875 --> 00:43:35,250 If you can tell me a little bit more 984 00:43:35,333 --> 00:43:37,500 about your thinking process and your emotions. 985 00:43:37,542 --> 00:43:41,458 I think ultimately that helps me to give you better counsel 986 00:43:41,542 --> 00:43:42,708 and better advice about 987 00:43:42,708 --> 00:43:44,625 how to manage this problem going forward. 988 00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:46,167 - And I wish I was the kind of person 989 00:43:46,250 --> 00:43:48,167 that could do that for you, but I'm not. 990 00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:49,500 - [David] What do you mean? 991 00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:50,667 - I'm somebody who, 992 00:43:50,792 --> 00:43:52,583 who I kind of put wear my heart on my strings 993 00:43:52,708 --> 00:43:54,917 and I kind of say what I think 994 00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,083 and I mean what I say and I'm not BSing anybody, I just, 995 00:43:59,167 --> 00:44:02,458 and so I'm telling you, hey, I've made up my mind 996 00:44:02,542 --> 00:44:04,083 that I'm okay and I'm at peace 997 00:44:04,167 --> 00:44:08,125 and I'm okay with them making decisions and all of that. 998 00:44:08,208 --> 00:44:11,750 And I wish I could give you what you want, 999 00:44:11,833 --> 00:44:14,333 but I don't know what it is because I'm not feeling it. 1000 00:44:14,417 --> 00:44:15,042 - Okay. 1001 00:44:15,042 --> 00:44:15,333 - Okay. 1002 00:44:15,792 --> 00:44:16,542 - You know, I'm feeling that 1003 00:44:16,875 --> 00:44:18,042 I'm good with everything, you know? 1004 00:44:18,292 --> 00:44:19,500 - Terri keeps saying I've answered all your questions, 1005 00:44:19,667 --> 00:44:21,625 but when you think about it, she really hasn't. 1006 00:44:21,708 --> 00:44:23,333 She's given me some rehearsed answers 1007 00:44:23,417 --> 00:44:25,792 that are basically the same thing over and over again. 1008 00:44:25,875 --> 00:44:28,167 I'm embarrassed, I take responsibility, 1009 00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:29,458 let's get it done. 1010 00:44:29,542 --> 00:44:30,750 But that doesn't really help me 1011 00:44:30,833 --> 00:44:32,625 to understand why she does this. 1012 00:44:32,708 --> 00:44:34,917 And until I can figure that out, 1013 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,625 I'm not in a very good position to help her. 1014 00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:39,417 (dramatic music) 1015 00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:45,042 (suspenseful music) 1016 00:44:52,292 --> 00:44:53,750 - If you come into my house, 1017 00:44:53,833 --> 00:44:54,458 literally you're gonna walk on junk. 1018 00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:55,917 literally you're gonna walk on junk. 1019 00:45:00,167 --> 00:45:02,500 And it's embarrassing, it's terrible. 1020 00:45:03,375 --> 00:45:06,125 - How long has it been since you had guests over? 1021 00:45:06,208 --> 00:45:06,917 - Never. 1022 00:45:09,708 --> 00:45:11,417 - Okay, this is not what I expected. 1023 00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:13,542 (dramatic music) 1024 00:45:13,667 --> 00:45:16,167 - Seems like very hard to function. 1025 00:45:16,208 --> 00:45:17,458 - Yes. - Okay. 1026 00:45:17,542 --> 00:45:18,875 Tell me a little bit more 1027 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,958 about your thinking process and your emotions. 1028 00:45:21,042 --> 00:45:24,792 I think ultimately that helps me to give you better counsel. 1029 00:45:24,875 --> 00:45:26,208 - And I wish I was the kind of person 1030 00:45:26,208 --> 00:45:28,667 that could do that for you, but I'm not. 1031 00:45:28,750 --> 00:45:31,667 (dramatic music) 1032 00:45:35,542 --> 00:45:38,208 (energetic music) 1033 00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:55,208 - Good. - Yeah. 1034 00:45:55,292 --> 00:45:58,667 - All right, here we go. - One, two! 1035 00:45:58,750 --> 00:46:01,500 (energetic music) 1036 00:46:17,917 --> 00:46:20,125 - So it's beautiful. 1037 00:46:21,292 --> 00:46:22,792 It's unbelievable. 1038 00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:24,042 - How do you feel when you look around 1039 00:46:24,167 --> 00:46:27,500 and see the house as it's being worked on now? 1040 00:46:27,583 --> 00:46:28,542 - Good. 1041 00:46:28,625 --> 00:46:29,417 - Yeah, it's a good feeling? 1042 00:46:30,708 --> 00:46:32,500 - What do you think of your house? 1043 00:46:32,542 --> 00:46:34,250 I mean, it's your house. 1044 00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:35,625 - Right. - You can see your house. 1045 00:46:35,625 --> 00:46:36,750 - Right. - What do you think? 1046 00:46:36,875 --> 00:46:39,167 - I said good. - It's good. 1047 00:46:40,292 --> 00:46:41,792 - It's great. 1048 00:46:41,917 --> 00:46:43,042 - So come this way, 1049 00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:45,042 we're gonna go into the kitchen next, okay? 1050 00:46:46,750 --> 00:46:47,542 - Wow! 1051 00:46:49,125 --> 00:46:51,750 - Dorothy, I noticed that you've taken out the refrigerator. 1052 00:46:51,833 --> 00:46:53,833 - It was un-keepable. 1053 00:46:53,875 --> 00:46:56,167 - What do you think happened there, Terri? 1054 00:46:56,208 --> 00:46:58,667 I mean, what was the story there? 1055 00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:00,500 - I couldn't get to it. 1056 00:47:00,542 --> 00:47:01,958 - Yeah, it was very hard 1057 00:47:02,042 --> 00:47:04,875 just physically to get to the refrigerator, yeah. 1058 00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,333 - I'm gonna slide in real close to you right now. 1059 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:13,042 I'm sliding in close 'cause I'm the one who cleared it out. 1060 00:47:20,708 --> 00:47:21,583 Oh god! 1061 00:47:24,458 --> 00:47:26,375 I have a mom who's 89. 1062 00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:28,000 If her fridge looks like that, 1063 00:47:28,042 --> 00:47:31,292 it makes me think something's very wrong with my mom. 1064 00:47:31,375 --> 00:47:34,500 Only Dr. Tolin can work that out with you. 1065 00:47:34,583 --> 00:47:35,917 There is a little something there 1066 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,958 that has you not see it for yourself. 1067 00:47:39,042 --> 00:47:42,000 - Oh no, I'm perfectly knowledgeable 1068 00:47:42,083 --> 00:47:44,292 that I caused all of this. 1069 00:47:44,375 --> 00:47:45,667 - I know you are. 1070 00:47:45,750 --> 00:47:47,375 - I'm the only person that brought anything in this house. 1071 00:47:47,458 --> 00:47:48,417 - I got it. 1072 00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:49,542 - I put everything in that refrigerator 1073 00:47:49,625 --> 00:47:51,208 and I kept it in there, me. 1074 00:47:51,292 --> 00:47:54,000 I just don't know what I have to do 1075 00:47:54,083 --> 00:47:56,542 to tell you guys that I see it. 1076 00:47:56,625 --> 00:47:57,917 You keep saying you don't see it. 1077 00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:00,417 And I'm like, I don't know how to tell you I see it 1078 00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:03,958 and I'm sorry and I'm ashamed and I'm embarrassed 1079 00:48:04,042 --> 00:48:05,250 and I don't know what to, 1080 00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:08,125 what words to get that across to you. 1081 00:48:09,500 --> 00:48:12,000 - What I really want to try to understand 1082 00:48:12,042 --> 00:48:13,583 is how this happened. 1083 00:48:13,667 --> 00:48:18,750 - What happened was I work sometimes 23 hours in a row. 1084 00:48:18,833 --> 00:48:20,833 - Yeah, but- - Or 36 hours in a row. 1085 00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:22,333 - [David] Yeah. 1086 00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:25,208 - I come in, I drop things down, and I've left 'em there. 1087 00:48:25,292 --> 00:48:26,583 - Yeah. 1088 00:48:26,667 --> 00:48:27,208 - [Terri] And I've never even looked at 'em again. 1089 00:48:27,292 --> 00:48:28,292 - Right. 1090 00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:28,958 - And then I did it again the next day. 1091 00:48:29,042 --> 00:48:30,500 - [David] Right. 1092 00:48:30,542 --> 00:48:32,000 - And I get it again, and that's how this happened. 1093 00:48:32,125 --> 00:48:32,917 - Well, I hear the behavior. 1094 00:48:33,042 --> 00:48:34,750 Yeah, that's what you did. 1095 00:48:34,833 --> 00:48:37,583 But I'm still not fully understanding why. 1096 00:48:37,708 --> 00:48:38,833 - Okay. 1097 00:48:38,917 --> 00:48:39,833 - [David] Why did it go that way? 1098 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,667 - Because I didn't- - Yeah, but. 1099 00:48:41,750 --> 00:48:42,958 - I didn't get a housekeeper 1100 00:48:43,083 --> 00:48:44,625 when I knew I couldn't do it myself. 1101 00:48:44,708 --> 00:48:46,167 - Yeah, right. 1102 00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:48,875 But Terri, being busy and not having a housekeeper 1103 00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:50,708 doesn't explain this. 1104 00:48:50,792 --> 00:48:51,583 You see that, right? 1105 00:48:51,708 --> 00:48:54,333 - Over and over and over again. 1106 00:48:54,417 --> 00:48:56,000 Yes. 1107 00:48:57,042 --> 00:48:58,708 - What do you mean? 1108 00:48:58,792 --> 00:48:59,875 - It does explain that I over 1109 00:48:59,958 --> 00:49:01,667 and overdid exactly what I told you. 1110 00:49:01,750 --> 00:49:04,167 I just shop, come in and put it down 1111 00:49:04,292 --> 00:49:06,000 and never look at it again. 1112 00:49:06,125 --> 00:49:07,833 - Right, I kind of get a sense 1113 00:49:07,875 --> 00:49:08,875 you don't really want to talk about this. 1114 00:49:08,875 --> 00:49:09,917 - No, I do, I do. 1115 00:49:10,042 --> 00:49:11,750 I wanna talk about it. 1116 00:49:11,750 --> 00:49:13,083 I'd like to be all better. 1117 00:49:13,167 --> 00:49:15,875 I'd like to be psychiatrically perfect. (laughs) 1118 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,333 - Okay. - But I- 1119 00:49:17,375 --> 00:49:18,750 - Then let's work on that. - I have been. 1120 00:49:18,875 --> 00:49:19,625 - And in order to do that- - I have been. 1121 00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:21,000 - Well, you have been, 1122 00:49:21,042 --> 00:49:23,833 but you're kind of stiff arming me a little bit 1123 00:49:23,917 --> 00:49:25,542 and I think that's something 1124 00:49:25,667 --> 00:49:27,667 that we are gonna kind of need to get passed 1125 00:49:27,750 --> 00:49:32,083 if I'm gonna be of service to you. 1126 00:49:32,167 --> 00:49:34,167 You can see how cutoff and defensive Terri is 1127 00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,750 when I ask her why this happened 1128 00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:38,792 and her answer is that she's busy 1129 00:49:38,875 --> 00:49:39,958 and she doesn't have a housekeeper. 1130 00:49:40,042 --> 00:49:42,083 But that doesn't even come close 1131 00:49:42,083 --> 00:49:44,125 to explaining this situation. 1132 00:49:44,208 --> 00:49:45,333 We need to understand that 1133 00:49:45,417 --> 00:49:47,375 there's a mental health issue going on here 1134 00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:50,000 and we need to understand that, dissect it, 1135 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,917 figure it out, and then work on it. 1136 00:49:52,042 --> 00:49:53,375 - Okay, so I know we've held you 1137 00:49:53,458 --> 00:49:56,833 probably longer than you expected. 1138 00:49:56,917 --> 00:49:58,750 You're just here on your lunch hour. 1139 00:49:58,875 --> 00:50:01,625 But we know you're going back to work. 1140 00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:05,333 And then in the meantime, just checking one more time. 1141 00:50:05,375 --> 00:50:07,833 Maggie's making strong decisions for you 1142 00:50:07,958 --> 00:50:09,875 as are Stephanie and Joann. 1143 00:50:10,042 --> 00:50:11,625 The dumpsters are filling. 1144 00:50:11,708 --> 00:50:13,667 We have another one coming. 1145 00:50:13,708 --> 00:50:15,875 Are you okay with this? 1146 00:50:15,958 --> 00:50:19,167 - What happens if I'm not? (laughs) 1147 00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:20,375 - We're in trouble. - Exactly. 1148 00:50:20,458 --> 00:50:23,083 - We're in trouble. - So I'm okay with it. 1149 00:50:23,167 --> 00:50:24,375 - You know, if I had trouble. 1150 00:50:24,458 --> 00:50:26,292 - Because I'm not gonna object to anything. 1151 00:50:26,375 --> 00:50:29,167 I already made that decision. (laughs) 1152 00:50:29,250 --> 00:50:30,542 You know what I mean though? 1153 00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:32,625 But I wanna get this done. 1154 00:50:32,708 --> 00:50:34,833 You know what I mean? 1155 00:50:34,917 --> 00:50:36,792 - I do. 1156 00:50:36,875 --> 00:50:37,667 I do. 1157 00:50:41,417 --> 00:50:44,042 And just so you know, one second. 1158 00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:45,417 What you just said to me 1159 00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:48,125 is everything Dr. Tolin is looking for from you. 1160 00:50:48,208 --> 00:50:49,583 - I've said it. 1161 00:50:49,708 --> 00:50:51,583 - It came out, it's coming out. 1162 00:50:51,708 --> 00:50:52,417 - I know, but I've said that. 1163 00:50:52,500 --> 00:50:53,875 I've said that I'm embarrassed. 1164 00:50:53,958 --> 00:50:55,208 I hate this for my kids. 1165 00:50:55,292 --> 00:50:57,875 I hate it that she has to be here, I hate it. 1166 00:50:57,958 --> 00:51:00,333 I hate she's using her vacation to do this. 1167 00:51:00,375 --> 00:51:03,125 I hate every bit about it, but I need help. 1168 00:51:03,208 --> 00:51:04,708 - [Dorothy] I got it. 1169 00:51:04,792 --> 00:51:08,000 - And I was left here for 15 years without it 1170 00:51:08,042 --> 00:51:11,000 and nobody was watching and then I just did it. 1171 00:51:11,125 --> 00:51:12,417 You know what I mean? 1172 00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:13,625 - Got it. 1173 00:51:13,708 --> 00:51:16,875 I could see a little chink in Terri's armor 1174 00:51:16,958 --> 00:51:19,833 just open up a little bit more. 1175 00:51:19,833 --> 00:51:21,167 So much so that she could barely 1176 00:51:21,250 --> 00:51:22,667 hold back the tears anymore. 1177 00:51:24,042 --> 00:51:26,333 - I really appreciate everything you're doing. 1178 00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:28,542 I don't want you to think I'm not grateful. 1179 00:51:30,542 --> 00:51:31,917 - She did cry, 1180 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,333 but she needed to get off the property and back to work 1181 00:51:34,417 --> 00:51:36,583 'cause she just couldn't hold it in anymore. 1182 00:51:37,208 --> 00:51:37,583 (Terri sniffles) 1183 00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:43,042 (suspenseful music) 1184 00:51:58,500 --> 00:51:59,250 Good morning. 1185 00:51:59,333 --> 00:52:00,500 - [Group] Good morning. 1186 00:52:00,542 --> 00:52:01,333 - We're in for another lovely day. 1187 00:52:01,375 --> 00:52:02,458 Thank you for bringing 1188 00:52:02,542 --> 00:52:04,667 such wonderful weather to this project. 1189 00:52:04,708 --> 00:52:08,208 I thought I'd check in on Maggie and Stephanie 1190 00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:12,625 and on you, Joann, how is your sleep? 1191 00:52:12,708 --> 00:52:13,875 How are your bodies? 1192 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,250 You were rocking and rolling yesterday. 1193 00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:18,000 - I'm fine. - You're fine. 1194 00:52:18,042 --> 00:52:19,208 (group laughs) 1195 00:52:19,292 --> 00:52:21,458 - She's good. - Yeah, I'm excited. 1196 00:52:21,542 --> 00:52:25,667 I'm in shock just how much has been able to be cleared out 1197 00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:28,333 and the organization that's gone into it. 1198 00:52:28,417 --> 00:52:31,333 Just eye-opening and just very exciting. 1199 00:52:31,417 --> 00:52:32,958 - Well, let me check in with you, Terri, 1200 00:52:32,958 --> 00:52:35,875 and just sort of see, you had kind of a most of the day off. 1201 00:52:35,958 --> 00:52:37,208 Well for us at least. 1202 00:52:37,292 --> 00:52:38,750 You were working, 1203 00:52:38,875 --> 00:52:41,167 but you weren't here to see a lot of the stuff come out 1204 00:52:41,208 --> 00:52:43,833 and some people respond great to that. 1205 00:52:43,875 --> 00:52:45,042 Some people not so much 1206 00:52:45,167 --> 00:52:46,708 and I just wanna see how you're feeling about it. 1207 00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:47,667 - Good, good. 1208 00:52:47,750 --> 00:52:48,833 I went in yesterday. 1209 00:52:48,917 --> 00:52:50,375 That was the first time I went in 1210 00:52:50,458 --> 00:52:53,708 when we visited at my lunch hour and yeah, it's amazing. 1211 00:52:53,833 --> 00:52:55,000 It's amazing. 1212 00:52:55,083 --> 00:52:56,792 - Okay, so you were happy with what you saw? 1213 00:52:56,875 --> 00:52:58,333 - Absolutely. - Okay. 1214 00:52:58,417 --> 00:53:00,667 - Terri, because you were here at lunch yesterday, 1215 00:53:00,750 --> 00:53:04,042 you saw what we had done up until we got to the kitchen. 1216 00:53:04,125 --> 00:53:05,833 But we've done a lot more since then. 1217 00:53:05,917 --> 00:53:08,250 As you can see, we've got mega piles out here 1218 00:53:08,375 --> 00:53:10,042 that still need to be reviewed. 1219 00:53:10,125 --> 00:53:12,167 We brought in another dumpster. 1220 00:53:12,292 --> 00:53:14,125 It's completely ready to go. 1221 00:53:14,208 --> 00:53:15,625 I think we'll fill that. 1222 00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:16,958 We may need another. 1223 00:53:16,958 --> 00:53:18,250 Let's make it happen. 1224 00:53:20,792 --> 00:53:23,708 (workers chattering) 1225 00:53:32,708 --> 00:53:35,417 (dramatic music) 1226 00:53:38,292 --> 00:53:39,250 - What is it? - Fondue set. 1227 00:53:39,375 --> 00:53:40,542 You wanna donate it? 1228 00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:42,833 - Yeah. - Okay, I thought. 1229 00:53:45,375 --> 00:53:47,208 - She says trash everything in here. 1230 00:53:47,208 --> 00:53:48,708 Everything goes. 1231 00:53:48,792 --> 00:53:51,292 I have to say that Terri's making good decisions. 1232 00:53:51,375 --> 00:53:53,333 She's not keeping a lot. 1233 00:53:53,417 --> 00:53:56,792 In fact, she has about a tarp's worth of stuff 1234 00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,500 that she's keeping. 1235 00:53:58,542 --> 00:54:01,500 I'd say maybe a thousand items at this point. 1236 00:54:01,542 --> 00:54:04,042 Out of what we decided was half a million, 1237 00:54:04,167 --> 00:54:05,667 maybe a million items. 1238 00:54:05,750 --> 00:54:06,833 That's not bad. 1239 00:54:06,917 --> 00:54:08,833 We can open up the garage, okay? 1240 00:54:11,375 --> 00:54:12,833 (dramatic music) 1241 00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:13,750 Wow! 1242 00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:19,875 (light instrumental music) 1243 00:54:23,792 --> 00:54:26,750 (workers chattering) 1244 00:54:33,375 --> 00:54:35,958 Okay, Chief, this is what the kitchen looks like now. 1245 00:54:36,042 --> 00:54:37,875 - Oh, a lot cleaner. 1246 00:54:37,958 --> 00:54:40,250 The fire was actually, 1247 00:54:40,333 --> 00:54:44,083 it had to do something with this outlet. 1248 00:54:44,208 --> 00:54:46,958 This was all stacked up. 1249 00:54:47,042 --> 00:54:49,958 We had like a little bit of room 1250 00:54:50,042 --> 00:54:52,375 to where we could get around. 1251 00:54:52,458 --> 00:54:55,167 We had one guy that was taking the door off. 1252 00:54:55,208 --> 00:54:56,667 He had to take doors off the front. 1253 00:54:56,792 --> 00:54:57,792 - Yeah. 1254 00:54:57,875 --> 00:54:59,167 - And then had to get down on his knees 1255 00:54:59,292 --> 00:55:01,083 and shoot the water back up underneath here 1256 00:55:01,167 --> 00:55:03,208 to get to the seat of the fire. 1257 00:55:03,292 --> 00:55:06,583 We had to crawl on stuff to get to here 1258 00:55:06,667 --> 00:55:09,542 and it was full from this area all the way back. 1259 00:55:09,625 --> 00:55:12,792 - If you didn't get to this when you did. 1260 00:55:12,875 --> 00:55:14,042 - Yeah. 1261 00:55:14,125 --> 00:55:16,000 - And the whole house was full, 1262 00:55:16,083 --> 00:55:18,458 like floor to ceiling full of stuff. 1263 00:55:18,542 --> 00:55:21,167 - We would've been fighting it from the outside. 1264 00:55:21,208 --> 00:55:23,500 There was no way we could have come in. 1265 00:55:23,583 --> 00:55:25,208 - What about the safety now? 1266 00:55:25,333 --> 00:55:27,750 How do you feel like, from what you're seeing, 1267 00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:31,292 knowing that the whole house was floor ceiling full, 1268 00:55:31,375 --> 00:55:32,750 including the kitchen? 1269 00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:37,417 - I think as long as she doesn't get back to that problem, 1270 00:55:38,333 --> 00:55:40,542 what I'm seeing here, it's safe. 1271 00:55:40,625 --> 00:55:42,000 Of course it needs cleaned up. 1272 00:55:42,083 --> 00:55:44,333 But you folks have done really well 1273 00:55:44,417 --> 00:55:46,500 with getting her house in order. 1274 00:55:46,542 --> 00:55:49,292 Now she needs to get herself in order 1275 00:55:49,375 --> 00:55:51,000 and I think it'll work. 1276 00:55:51,083 --> 00:55:52,500 - Okay, thank you. - No problem. 1277 00:55:52,625 --> 00:55:54,292 - Thanks so much for coming. - You're welcome. 1278 00:55:54,292 --> 00:55:55,625 - I really appreciate this. - You're welcome. 1279 00:55:55,708 --> 00:55:57,292 - That's good news. - Good, good news. 1280 00:55:57,375 --> 00:55:58,458 - All right, come on. 1281 00:56:00,208 --> 00:56:02,833 (bright music) 1282 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:09,875 Okay, 20 people one hour to complete the garage. 1283 00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:14,042 This was a real win of your total involvement. 1284 00:56:14,167 --> 00:56:15,333 And I just wanna say. 1285 00:56:15,375 --> 00:56:17,292 - [Group] Terri, perfecto! 1286 00:56:17,375 --> 00:56:20,000 (group cheering) 1287 00:56:21,125 --> 00:56:22,458 - So you have an open garage. 1288 00:56:22,542 --> 00:56:24,042 We're gonna put a few things back in. 1289 00:56:24,125 --> 00:56:25,375 - I'm so excited! 1290 00:56:25,458 --> 00:56:27,250 - Are you going to park your car in the garage? 1291 00:56:27,333 --> 00:56:28,125 - Wouldn't I? 1292 00:56:28,208 --> 00:56:29,958 It's winter. (laughs) 1293 00:56:30,042 --> 00:56:32,208 It's winter in Missouri, we need a garage. 1294 00:56:32,333 --> 00:56:33,667 I'm so happy. 1295 00:56:33,750 --> 00:56:34,875 - Okay, when's the last time you parked it in there? 1296 00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,083 - Never. 1297 00:56:36,167 --> 00:56:39,125 - Oh, okay, so this is a real win. 1298 00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:40,458 Very good. 1299 00:56:40,542 --> 00:56:42,958 Anything you wanna say, Dr. Tolin? 1300 00:56:43,042 --> 00:56:43,958 - Let me just check in. 1301 00:56:44,042 --> 00:56:44,958 How was it for you, Terri? 1302 00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:46,833 I mean, this is a lot of stuff going out. 1303 00:56:46,917 --> 00:56:49,333 I always want to check in and see how you feel about it. 1304 00:56:49,417 --> 00:56:50,208 - Glad it's gone. 1305 00:56:50,375 --> 00:56:51,792 - Okay. 1306 00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:52,625 Easy, hard? 1307 00:56:53,875 --> 00:56:57,375 - On a scale of one to 10, probably a four. 1308 00:56:57,458 --> 00:56:59,542 - Okay, so a little hard, but not too bad. 1309 00:56:59,667 --> 00:57:01,500 - [Terri] Yeah, a little hill, yeah. 1310 00:57:09,583 --> 00:57:10,833 - [Dorothy] Question number one. 1311 00:57:10,875 --> 00:57:13,042 It's pretty grimy, it is pretty nasty. 1312 00:57:13,125 --> 00:57:15,000 Can I just let it all go? 1313 00:57:15,042 --> 00:57:17,333 - I don't know if there's anything in there 1314 00:57:17,333 --> 00:57:19,417 that I need to keep other than the scales. 1315 00:57:19,542 --> 00:57:20,667 - [Dorothy] What I'm going to do. 1316 00:57:20,708 --> 00:57:21,833 - I donate the scales 1317 00:57:21,917 --> 00:57:23,917 and you can get rid of everything else. 1318 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:25,542 - [Dorothy] Wow, really? 1319 00:57:25,625 --> 00:57:28,042 - Well, but unless you find Mona Lisa 1320 00:57:28,042 --> 00:57:29,500 under there or something. 1321 00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:30,875 - [Dorothy] Okay, all right. 1322 00:57:30,875 --> 00:57:32,750 So maybe you wanna just stay right, you know, 1323 00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:34,417 over here and I'll have my team come in 1324 00:57:34,500 --> 00:57:35,625 and start clearing everything out. 1325 00:57:35,708 --> 00:57:36,833 - Okay, okay, okay. 1326 00:57:36,917 --> 00:57:39,250 - [Dorothy] But one thing that I have to do, 1327 00:57:39,333 --> 00:57:40,875 you know what I have to do, right? 1328 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:41,833 - Make it safe. 1329 00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:43,458 - [Dorothy] Yeah, but apart from that, 1330 00:57:43,542 --> 00:57:45,417 what do I need to call your attention to here? 1331 00:57:45,500 --> 00:57:46,542 - The filth, the toilet. 1332 00:57:46,667 --> 00:57:48,083 - [Dorothy] The toilet, right. 1333 00:57:49,583 --> 00:57:52,000 - I haven't tried baking soda and vinegar, 1334 00:57:52,042 --> 00:57:53,417 but I did read up 1335 00:57:53,542 --> 00:57:56,125 and it said that that would take that stain away. 1336 00:57:56,208 --> 00:57:58,083 - [Dorothy] Okay, it's more than a stain, right? 1337 00:57:58,167 --> 00:58:00,250 There's stuff in there. 1338 00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:02,000 - Oh, there is? - Yeah. 1339 00:58:02,042 --> 00:58:03,000 - I haven't gone in there. 1340 00:58:03,042 --> 00:58:04,208 - [Dorothy] When you lift the lid, 1341 00:58:04,208 --> 00:58:05,667 there's a heavy odor, okay? 1342 00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:07,292 - Okay, yeah, I imagine that 'cause I don't have water. 1343 00:58:07,375 --> 00:58:08,833 - [Dorothy] So the toilet 1344 00:58:08,917 --> 00:58:10,875 has not been working for two years? 1345 00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:13,625 - Probably, I can just replace it too. 1346 00:58:13,708 --> 00:58:15,875 - The toilet? - I can get it replaced. 1347 00:58:15,958 --> 00:58:17,333 - [Dorothy] Okay, but the point is, 1348 00:58:17,417 --> 00:58:18,792 even it's gonna be replaceable. 1349 00:58:18,875 --> 00:58:20,917 But I'm gonna do the one thing that really annoys you. 1350 00:58:21,042 --> 00:58:22,333 (dramatic music) 1351 00:58:22,417 --> 00:58:23,417 (Terri laughs) 1352 00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:25,458 But it's up to me to do it. 1353 00:58:25,542 --> 00:58:26,917 That's not okay. - I know. 1354 00:58:27,042 --> 00:58:29,333 - That's just not acceptable. - I know, I know. 1355 00:58:29,417 --> 00:58:30,500 - Ever. - I know. 1356 00:58:30,583 --> 00:58:32,292 And that's exactly how I grew up though. 1357 00:58:32,375 --> 00:58:34,042 I just want you to know. - I understand. 1358 00:58:34,125 --> 00:58:35,167 - I grew up with a two holer 1359 00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:36,375 and I grew up with a slot pocket, 1360 00:58:36,500 --> 00:58:38,667 so it's really not that odd to me. 1361 00:58:38,750 --> 00:58:40,167 - [Dorothy] I understand. 1362 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:43,000 - But I know it's gross for every other single person, 1363 00:58:43,042 --> 00:58:46,083 (laughs) except my siblings and, you know, 1364 00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:47,375 people that grew up like that. 1365 00:58:47,458 --> 00:58:49,583 I'm just saying to you, I'm just pointing out. 1366 00:58:49,667 --> 00:58:51,083 I know it's gross to everybody. 1367 00:58:51,167 --> 00:58:53,958 - [Dorothy] All right, so you're used to it. 1368 00:58:53,958 --> 00:58:55,250 You're used to it. 1369 00:58:55,333 --> 00:58:57,292 - It's not that odd to me, but it's gross as hell. 1370 00:58:57,417 --> 00:58:59,208 I get it and it smells horrible. 1371 00:58:59,292 --> 00:59:02,542 - [Dorothy] And I regard you as a very high professional. 1372 00:59:02,625 --> 00:59:04,125 - I know. 1373 00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:06,042 - [Dorothy] So while you grew up in that. 1374 00:59:06,125 --> 00:59:08,500 - Right, and some of my patients have this. 1375 00:59:08,583 --> 00:59:09,500 - [Dorothy] Yeah. 1376 00:59:09,625 --> 00:59:10,792 - They don't have running water. 1377 00:59:10,875 --> 00:59:12,500 They don't have electricity at all. 1378 00:59:12,542 --> 00:59:13,958 - Yeah. - And so, you know, 1379 00:59:14,042 --> 00:59:16,667 like I said, it's just not that odd to me. 1380 00:59:16,708 --> 00:59:18,625 But I don't want it that way. (laughs) 1381 00:59:18,708 --> 00:59:20,208 I wanna take a shower. 1382 00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:21,375 - You wanna take a shower? - I wanna take a shower. 1383 00:59:21,500 --> 00:59:24,000 - [Dorothy] Okay, I understand. 1384 00:59:24,083 --> 00:59:26,917 Okay, well, we're here to just make this all happen. 1385 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,625 But if something goes wrong in your house again. 1386 00:59:30,708 --> 00:59:31,833 - I'll have a plan. - You have a plan. 1387 00:59:31,917 --> 00:59:34,750 - I'll have, I will have a plan. 1388 00:59:34,833 --> 00:59:37,667 - [Dorothy] You're not gonna let this happen again. 1389 00:59:39,042 --> 00:59:41,917 (somber piano music) 1390 00:59:52,542 --> 00:59:53,542 I feel ya. 1391 00:59:54,875 --> 00:59:56,667 I'm really sorry it's like that. 1392 00:59:56,750 --> 00:59:58,417 Thanks for addressing this. 1393 00:59:58,542 --> 01:00:01,333 I feel no resistance from you. 1394 01:00:01,333 --> 01:00:02,667 This is the first time 1395 01:00:02,708 --> 01:00:04,958 where we've talked about something really hard 1396 01:00:05,042 --> 01:00:08,292 and you were just open and not so quick to just defend it. 1397 01:00:08,375 --> 01:00:09,958 But you just really let me talk 1398 01:00:09,958 --> 01:00:10,333 But you just really let me talk 1399 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:12,333 and I let you talk and it was really good. 1400 01:00:12,417 --> 01:00:13,333 Thank you so much. 1401 01:00:13,417 --> 01:00:15,500 - Thank you. - Okay. 1402 01:00:15,583 --> 01:00:17,000 - You're fixing me. 1403 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,167 (both laughing) 1404 01:00:18,208 --> 01:00:19,125 You're fixing me. 1405 01:00:19,208 --> 01:00:21,125 - [Dorothy] Oh, I dunno about that, baby. 1406 01:00:21,208 --> 01:00:25,708 - Thank you. 1407 01:00:29,542 --> 01:00:31,000 (suspenseful music) 1408 01:00:52,750 --> 01:00:55,750 (debris clattering) 1409 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,750 - [Dorothy] Why don't you take a spot right over here? 1410 01:01:07,875 --> 01:01:09,542 - Oh yeah. - Okay? 1411 01:01:09,625 --> 01:01:12,708 And the guys are gonna come right on in and start pulling. 1412 01:01:12,792 --> 01:01:14,042 So bring in the cans. 1413 01:01:14,125 --> 01:01:14,917 Come on in. 1414 01:01:17,125 --> 01:01:18,125 Everything's going. 1415 01:01:19,458 --> 01:01:22,167 No need to sort, no need to sort. 1416 01:01:22,250 --> 01:01:23,625 Straight to the dumpster. 1417 01:01:28,625 --> 01:01:29,917 Another person in? - Yep. 1418 01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:32,292 - [Dorothy] Go for the big bins in there. 1419 01:01:32,375 --> 01:01:34,000 Then shovel the rest out. 1420 01:01:34,083 --> 01:01:35,667 Got it? - Yep. 1421 01:01:35,708 --> 01:01:37,708 - You're good, Terri? - Mm-hmm. 1422 01:01:37,792 --> 01:01:39,167 - [Dorothy] Okay. 1423 01:01:40,792 --> 01:01:42,167 Donate? - Donate. 1424 01:01:43,708 --> 01:01:46,417 (dramatic music) 1425 01:01:49,875 --> 01:01:51,833 - [Dorothy] So normally when we use shovels 1426 01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:52,625 it's because it's all dirt. 1427 01:01:52,708 --> 01:01:54,667 - Sure, sure, sure. 1428 01:01:54,750 --> 01:01:56,708 - [Dorothy] This is, you know, was pretty good stuff. 1429 01:01:56,833 --> 01:01:59,208 So what's your experience of watching, 1430 01:01:59,292 --> 01:02:00,750 like it's a lot of good stuff going. 1431 01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:02,500 It's just going straight to the trash. 1432 01:02:02,583 --> 01:02:04,000 - I know, I did it. 1433 01:02:04,042 --> 01:02:06,792 - No, no, I know you know. - I know, I know. 1434 01:02:06,875 --> 01:02:08,125 - I get it. - I know. 1435 01:02:08,208 --> 01:02:09,500 But I'm the one that did it. - Yeah, yeah. 1436 01:02:09,583 --> 01:02:11,417 - I know, you're saying acknowledge it and I'm like, 1437 01:02:11,542 --> 01:02:12,750 yeah, I know, I did it. 1438 01:02:12,833 --> 01:02:14,875 I put 'em in there. 1439 01:02:14,958 --> 01:02:15,833 - [Dorothy] You did. 1440 01:02:15,917 --> 01:02:17,167 Of all the rooms in the house, 1441 01:02:17,208 --> 01:02:19,833 which one was the room that filled up first? 1442 01:02:19,917 --> 01:02:21,458 When it first started happening? 1443 01:02:22,583 --> 01:02:24,042 - Probably I walled that off. 1444 01:02:24,167 --> 01:02:26,958 - [Dorothy] You walled off the living room for, 1445 01:02:27,042 --> 01:02:28,708 was there a reason you think? 1446 01:02:28,833 --> 01:02:30,042 You haven't, you don't know. 1447 01:02:30,167 --> 01:02:33,375 - It's gonna take a team of psychiatrists, Dorothy. 1448 01:02:34,542 --> 01:02:37,250 (dramatic music) 1449 01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:46,500 - This is what really opened my eyes 1450 01:02:46,583 --> 01:02:48,958 as far as my mom's safety. 1451 01:02:49,042 --> 01:02:51,875 I don't want my mom sleeping like this anymore. 1452 01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:54,375 - What kind of threw me for a loop, 1453 01:02:54,500 --> 01:02:58,250 I've seen it before that people don't sleep on sheets 1454 01:02:58,375 --> 01:03:00,958 and she works in such a sterile industry, you know, 1455 01:03:01,042 --> 01:03:03,333 where you have to be so sterile, so clean. 1456 01:03:03,417 --> 01:03:04,917 - Yeah. 1457 01:03:04,917 --> 01:03:07,667 - And she's not doing that service for herself. 1458 01:03:07,708 --> 01:03:08,500 - Right. 1459 01:03:09,583 --> 01:03:10,958 - What bubbles up for you? 1460 01:03:11,625 --> 01:03:14,125 - Um, just sadness for her. 1461 01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:19,667 That she feels like she let it get this way and that, 1462 01:03:19,792 --> 01:03:21,333 you know, if there's something in her childhood 1463 01:03:21,375 --> 01:03:25,333 that's bubbling up now as she's gotten older, 1464 01:03:25,417 --> 01:03:28,667 but it's just, you know, it's just surprising too 1465 01:03:28,792 --> 01:03:31,083 'cause again, it's not how we grew up. 1466 01:03:31,167 --> 01:03:33,000 - Do you know what happened in her childhood as well? 1467 01:03:33,042 --> 01:03:35,792 - I know some stuff, yes. 1468 01:03:35,875 --> 01:03:38,625 Yeah, I'm pretty, she's pretty open about, 1469 01:03:38,708 --> 01:03:39,833 some trauma and stuff. 1470 01:03:39,917 --> 01:03:41,250 So that's where it's like, 1471 01:03:42,208 --> 01:03:45,917 I think this is creeping up in her life now. 1472 01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:49,042 - When I'm talking to Maggie, she says, you know, 1473 01:03:49,125 --> 01:03:51,542 Dorothy, I don't know if it's past trauma. 1474 01:03:51,625 --> 01:03:52,833 I don't know what it is. 1475 01:03:52,833 --> 01:03:53,625 And I go, ding, ding, ding, ding. 1476 01:03:53,708 --> 01:03:54,958 Trauma, trauma. 1477 01:03:55,042 --> 01:03:57,500 I need to have Dr. Tolin come in. 1478 01:03:57,583 --> 01:03:58,958 The word trauma just came up. 1479 01:03:59,083 --> 01:04:01,250 - [David] Yeah, in what context? 1480 01:04:01,333 --> 01:04:03,083 - Just knowing that my mom's childhood 1481 01:04:03,167 --> 01:04:04,708 was nothing like mine. 1482 01:04:04,792 --> 01:04:06,625 And that she definitely went above and beyond 1483 01:04:06,708 --> 01:04:10,375 to make our childhood a lot better than what she had. 1484 01:04:10,458 --> 01:04:11,625 And that, you know, 1485 01:04:11,708 --> 01:04:13,000 it wouldn't surprise me 1486 01:04:13,042 --> 01:04:15,750 if some of her trauma from her childhood, 1487 01:04:15,833 --> 01:04:19,083 I can imagine some things that she never dealt with before 1488 01:04:19,083 --> 01:04:21,375 are starting to sneak up now. 1489 01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,125 - Do you feel comfortable 1490 01:04:23,208 --> 01:04:25,375 sharing details about what happened? 1491 01:04:25,458 --> 01:04:30,167 - I know that her parents did not treat her very well. 1492 01:04:30,208 --> 01:04:34,000 So whether physical or emotional abuse, things like that, 1493 01:04:34,042 --> 01:04:39,042 that she always just compartmentalized and dealt with 1494 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:40,833 and just knew that she wasn't gonna be like that 1495 01:04:40,917 --> 01:04:42,417 when she was a mom. 1496 01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:45,833 And she really wasn't ever, she was the best mom ever. 1497 01:04:45,917 --> 01:04:48,958 - Yeah, and yet I think what you're describing, 1498 01:04:49,042 --> 01:04:50,167 it makes sense to me 1499 01:04:50,208 --> 01:04:52,292 and I wonder if that helps explain 1500 01:04:52,292 --> 01:04:53,708 some of the stuff that we're seeing. 1501 01:04:53,792 --> 01:04:55,208 - Right. - You know, I mean, 1502 01:04:55,208 --> 01:04:58,125 I think you've heard me kind of push back a little bit 1503 01:04:58,125 --> 01:04:59,750 with your mom about this sort of 1504 01:04:59,833 --> 01:05:02,458 defensiveness thing that she seems to be doing. 1505 01:05:02,542 --> 01:05:04,417 And I wonder if maybe that's a piece of it. 1506 01:05:04,542 --> 01:05:06,958 Maybe she got really good at closing off her emotions. 1507 01:05:07,042 --> 01:05:07,833 - Right, absolutely. 1508 01:05:07,875 --> 01:05:09,125 Yeah, I'm sure. 1509 01:05:09,250 --> 01:05:10,667 - Which I get, you know, as a coping strategy. 1510 01:05:10,750 --> 01:05:12,167 - [Maggie] Right. 1511 01:05:12,292 --> 01:05:14,042 - But the problem is when you stuff all that stuff down 1512 01:05:14,167 --> 01:05:16,542 and you don't really deal with it, 1513 01:05:16,625 --> 01:05:17,625 it kind of comes out sideways. 1514 01:05:17,708 --> 01:05:18,750 - Yeah. - You know? 1515 01:05:18,750 --> 01:05:19,625 And it does tend to come out 1516 01:05:19,708 --> 01:05:20,917 in your life one way or another 1517 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,542 and maybe the way that it started coming out 1518 01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:24,667 was in unhelpful behavior 1519 01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:28,500 and inability to really kind of process what's going on 1520 01:05:28,625 --> 01:05:30,792 and kind of think about it. 1521 01:05:30,875 --> 01:05:32,250 Is that kind of in the right ballpark? 1522 01:05:32,333 --> 01:05:33,292 - Yeah, I mean, 1523 01:05:33,375 --> 01:05:34,917 you don't know when it's gonna affect you. 1524 01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:36,667 You know, if you haven't dealt with something, 1525 01:05:36,750 --> 01:05:38,208 you don't get to choose when 1526 01:05:38,208 --> 01:05:41,042 all of a sudden it's hit your trigger, you know? 1527 01:05:41,125 --> 01:05:42,292 - Yeah, well, I appreciate that information. 1528 01:05:42,417 --> 01:05:44,250 I mean, that helps me as I'm sure you know, 1529 01:05:44,375 --> 01:05:46,875 my frustration is I'm having kind of a hard time 1530 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:48,458 really getting to know your mom, 1531 01:05:48,542 --> 01:05:50,833 but that helps me to understand her a little better. 1532 01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:51,875 - Yeah. 1533 01:05:51,875 --> 01:05:52,833 - So I certainly appreciate that. 1534 01:05:52,833 --> 01:05:53,792 - Awesome. - Yeah. 1535 01:05:53,875 --> 01:05:55,250 - Absolutely. 1536 01:05:55,375 --> 01:05:56,417 - I think what we wanna do is have your mom come in. 1537 01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:57,500 - [Maggie] Okay. 1538 01:05:57,583 --> 01:05:59,167 - And have the both of you sort of work in here 1539 01:05:59,292 --> 01:06:01,333 since it's a little bit more of a delicate area. 1540 01:06:01,417 --> 01:06:02,167 - [Maggie] Okay. 1541 01:06:02,250 --> 01:06:03,333 - Maybe start in this area. 1542 01:06:03,417 --> 01:06:04,250 - [Maggie] Okay. 1543 01:06:04,333 --> 01:06:06,375 - I think this is important, 1544 01:06:06,458 --> 01:06:09,417 not just because they need some working time together 1545 01:06:09,500 --> 01:06:12,375 and it's important for them to see together what's going on. 1546 01:06:12,500 --> 01:06:15,375 But if Terri does go backward in her hoarding, 1547 01:06:15,375 --> 01:06:18,167 then Maggie's going to need to know some of the tools 1548 01:06:18,292 --> 01:06:19,833 on how to make the decisions. 1549 01:06:19,917 --> 01:06:22,208 Say, come on, Mom, we're gonna make decisions. 1550 01:06:22,333 --> 01:06:24,000 Let's get this cleaned out. 1551 01:06:24,083 --> 01:06:27,833 So it's important not just for now, but for the future. 1552 01:06:27,875 --> 01:06:29,917 Here's what I'd like for you to do is 1553 01:06:30,042 --> 01:06:31,708 we're going to support you two 1554 01:06:31,792 --> 01:06:33,167 as you kind of work this area. 1555 01:06:33,250 --> 01:06:34,583 - Okay. 1556 01:06:34,667 --> 01:06:37,500 - Since this is a little bit more personal to you. 1557 01:06:37,583 --> 01:06:40,625 If it's trash, it goes in one of these bins. 1558 01:06:40,708 --> 01:06:42,500 If it's something you're gonna keep, put it in those. 1559 01:06:42,583 --> 01:06:44,458 Yeah, and then we'll put it in the keep zone. 1560 01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:45,667 - Okay. 1561 01:06:45,667 --> 01:06:46,500 - Keep? - Uh-huh. 1562 01:06:48,083 --> 01:06:49,333 - Okay, this is keep. 1563 01:06:49,375 --> 01:06:51,500 Maggie, I want you to go ahead and start pulling. 1564 01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:53,083 - [Maggie] Oh. 1565 01:06:53,167 --> 01:06:54,417 - [Dorothy] I'm assuming you're still 1566 01:06:54,542 --> 01:06:56,375 allowing Maggie to make decisions, yes? 1567 01:06:56,375 --> 01:06:59,042 So just make the decisions and send it to us. 1568 01:06:59,125 --> 01:07:00,542 I'm gonna leave you to it. 1569 01:07:00,625 --> 01:07:01,958 - Thank you. - Good luck. 1570 01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:10,000 - I'm throwing all of this away. 1571 01:07:10,125 --> 01:07:13,000 Throwing all of this away. 1572 01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:15,833 (debris clatters) (Terri shouts) 1573 01:07:15,917 --> 01:07:18,375 Doing good, giving away stuff. 1574 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:22,250 Lots of junk. 1575 01:07:28,292 --> 01:07:29,625 Give away that stuff. 1576 01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:34,500 (debris clattering) 1577 01:07:35,875 --> 01:07:37,542 Can I have another bin, please? 1578 01:07:39,708 --> 01:07:42,375 (bright music) 1579 01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:46,375 (suspenseful music) 1580 01:07:48,917 --> 01:07:50,667 Can we get rid of this guitar? 1581 01:07:50,708 --> 01:07:52,042 - Yeah, but I think we have. 1582 01:07:52,042 --> 01:07:53,167 I don't think you should dump it. 1583 01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,125 - You think someone's gonna refurbish it? 1584 01:07:55,208 --> 01:07:56,875 Or gonna restring it? 1585 01:07:56,958 --> 01:07:58,375 - You have to put strings there. 1586 01:07:58,458 --> 01:07:59,833 - Huh? 1587 01:07:59,958 --> 01:08:01,125 - Yeah, the only thing wrong with it is putting strings in. 1588 01:08:01,208 --> 01:08:02,500 Otherwise, all the parts were there. 1589 01:08:02,542 --> 01:08:04,125 - And it's a good? 1590 01:08:04,208 --> 01:08:05,333 - [Terri] Is that what you were asking? 1591 01:08:05,375 --> 01:08:06,667 - But it's a good quality? - Yeah. 1592 01:08:06,792 --> 01:08:08,208 It's a nice little beginner. 1593 01:08:08,292 --> 01:08:10,000 - It's a good quality guitar for them to start with? 1594 01:08:10,042 --> 01:08:11,667 - Maggie, stop! 1595 01:08:12,708 --> 01:08:15,500 - Teresa, I get to ask! 1596 01:08:15,542 --> 01:08:17,792 - You know the answer though, that's the thing. 1597 01:08:17,875 --> 01:08:20,292 - Well, it's not good quality. 1598 01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:20,708 It's got dings all around it. 1599 01:08:21,292 --> 01:08:22,042 It's got dings all around it. 1600 01:08:22,125 --> 01:08:23,667 It's got stuff on the thing. 1601 01:08:23,750 --> 01:08:24,833 It's just like... 1602 01:08:24,875 --> 01:08:27,583 (dramatic music) 1603 01:08:33,208 --> 01:08:35,208 (suspenseful music) 1604 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,333 - We did get a lot done. 1605 01:08:52,375 --> 01:08:54,125 We exchanged the dumpsters. 1606 01:08:54,208 --> 01:08:56,000 We're filling up another one. 1607 01:08:56,083 --> 01:09:01,083 We've done the rest of the dining room. 1608 01:09:02,333 --> 01:09:04,542 We got to the bathroom, we got into the bedroom, 1609 01:09:04,667 --> 01:09:06,042 we did the garage. 1610 01:09:06,125 --> 01:09:10,125 It is a lot of work that's been done. 1611 01:09:11,375 --> 01:09:12,917 I don't know if you're ready for the day, 1612 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,625 but we certainly are, yeah. 1613 01:09:14,708 --> 01:09:17,167 - Yes, of course. - This is day four. 1614 01:09:17,292 --> 01:09:19,500 This is where we get to do what we hope to do, 1615 01:09:19,542 --> 01:09:23,750 which is provide you with a clean, safe home, right? 1616 01:09:23,833 --> 01:09:27,292 Well, I should ask you what you wanna talk about first, 1617 01:09:27,375 --> 01:09:29,083 Dr. Tolin, before I lay out the plan. 1618 01:09:29,208 --> 01:09:30,000 - Oh, that's nice of you. 1619 01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:30,958 Thank you, Dorothy. 1620 01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,792 So as I've alluded to before, 1621 01:09:32,875 --> 01:09:35,083 we're kind of here to do two different things, right? 1622 01:09:35,167 --> 01:09:36,500 We're here to clean a home. 1623 01:09:36,583 --> 01:09:38,167 The other piece that we're here to do 1624 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:41,833 is to try to get sustained behavioral change, 1625 01:09:41,917 --> 01:09:45,500 which means you and I have some talking to do, Terri. 1626 01:09:45,583 --> 01:09:46,792 My thought is that I wanna spend some time 1627 01:09:46,875 --> 01:09:48,375 talking with you about this issue 1628 01:09:48,500 --> 01:09:50,000 and we're gonna have to talk about things 1629 01:09:50,083 --> 01:09:52,667 like not just behavior, but also thoughts and feelings. 1630 01:09:52,750 --> 01:09:55,167 And that helps us to sort of figure out, 1631 01:09:55,292 --> 01:09:57,333 not just that the problem happened, 1632 01:09:57,458 --> 01:09:59,500 but helps us to understand why it happened 1633 01:10:00,667 --> 01:10:02,542 so that way maybe we can come up with some ideas 1634 01:10:02,625 --> 01:10:04,542 about how we can make sure it doesn't happen again. 1635 01:10:04,625 --> 01:10:06,375 Would that be all right with you, Terri? 1636 01:10:06,458 --> 01:10:08,792 - I think we've been doing that, Doctor, but yes. 1637 01:10:08,792 --> 01:10:10,292 - [David] Okay, well. 1638 01:10:10,375 --> 01:10:13,542 - I think we talked about how I'm insane about coming home 1639 01:10:13,625 --> 01:10:15,500 and buying stuff and buying stuff and buying stuff 1640 01:10:15,625 --> 01:10:18,417 and dropping it down and not putting it away. 1641 01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:19,583 - That does happen, 1642 01:10:19,667 --> 01:10:20,958 and I don't think that's the explanation. 1643 01:10:21,042 --> 01:10:22,167 - Okay. 1644 01:10:22,250 --> 01:10:23,167 - [David] So I think we need to go 1645 01:10:23,208 --> 01:10:23,958 a little deeper with that. 1646 01:10:24,042 --> 01:10:25,167 - Okay. 1647 01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:26,708 - Thank you Dr. Tolin. - Sure. 1648 01:10:26,792 --> 01:10:28,458 I wanted us to kind of come out here 1649 01:10:28,542 --> 01:10:30,792 because I did want to acknowledge all the efforts 1650 01:10:30,875 --> 01:10:33,542 that you've been making to get organized. 1651 01:10:35,375 --> 01:10:38,625 There are about 650 bins that are here. 1652 01:10:38,708 --> 01:10:42,208 When you look at it all this way, what do you see? 1653 01:10:42,333 --> 01:10:43,750 I mean, do you? 1654 01:10:43,833 --> 01:10:45,458 - I just see the same thing you do, Dorothy. 1655 01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:47,958 I see a lot of bins and an attempt to try to fix it. 1656 01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:54,292 - So I am going to ask you to go through the bins. 1657 01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:55,667 - I bought them, I know them. 1658 01:10:55,792 --> 01:10:56,500 I see them. - Okay. 1659 01:10:56,583 --> 01:10:58,583 - I recognize every one of them. 1660 01:10:58,667 --> 01:10:59,708 - Okay, got it. 1661 01:10:59,833 --> 01:11:01,667 - So I don't need to go meet them over again. 1662 01:11:01,792 --> 01:11:04,583 I think this was meant to shame me somehow. 1663 01:11:06,375 --> 01:11:08,375 - What I like to do when I'm organizing 1664 01:11:08,458 --> 01:11:10,708 and someone has a collection of shoes, 1665 01:11:10,792 --> 01:11:15,333 bags in Terri's case bins, boxes, baskets, containers. 1666 01:11:15,458 --> 01:11:17,333 I like to lay out the collection 1667 01:11:17,458 --> 01:11:20,417 so the person can come through and make quick decisions. 1668 01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:21,958 Keep, toss, keep, toss. 1669 01:11:22,042 --> 01:11:23,417 Terri's interpretation? 1670 01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:25,417 I'm trying to shame you. 1671 01:11:25,500 --> 01:11:26,708 It's not to shame you. 1672 01:11:26,792 --> 01:11:29,167 I want you to pick out bins that you wanna keep 1673 01:11:29,292 --> 01:11:32,167 and we wanna use them in your house effectively. 1674 01:11:32,333 --> 01:11:34,375 And then we wanna get rid of everything else. 1675 01:11:34,458 --> 01:11:36,000 So that's my aim here. 1676 01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:37,458 - Okay. - Okay? 1677 01:11:37,542 --> 01:11:40,583 (suspenseful music) 1678 01:11:52,375 --> 01:11:53,667 Can you see these baskets? 1679 01:11:53,708 --> 01:11:55,458 - I don't want 'em. - Thank you. 1680 01:12:01,458 --> 01:12:03,292 - [Terri] Boom, Dorothy, boom! 1681 01:12:05,500 --> 01:12:09,167 - You made 650 decisions in about 10 minutes. 1682 01:12:09,250 --> 01:12:10,708 That's supreme. 1683 01:12:10,792 --> 01:12:13,458 Your decision making has been quick throughout. 1684 01:12:13,542 --> 01:12:17,042 I just wanna point out another kind of achievement. 1685 01:12:17,167 --> 01:12:18,667 - Thank you. - Okay? 1686 01:12:18,750 --> 01:12:20,333 - Thank you. - Not shame, my little girl. 1687 01:12:20,375 --> 01:12:21,417 You're doing a good job. 1688 01:12:21,417 --> 01:12:22,417 - Thank you. 1689 01:12:24,875 --> 01:12:27,583 (dramatic music) 1690 01:12:35,542 --> 01:12:37,500 - Well, Terri, thank you for taking time to talk with me. 1691 01:12:37,625 --> 01:12:39,583 I thought and I've been kind of looking forward 1692 01:12:39,667 --> 01:12:41,667 to this conversation and, you know, 1693 01:12:41,750 --> 01:12:43,333 I think it's helpful for us 1694 01:12:43,417 --> 01:12:44,833 to just take a little bit of time away from the work 1695 01:12:44,917 --> 01:12:47,583 and just kind of talk things through a little bit. 1696 01:12:47,667 --> 01:12:49,125 - It's part of the process. 1697 01:12:49,208 --> 01:12:50,083 - It is part of the process. 1698 01:12:50,208 --> 01:12:51,458 - I understand. - Yeah. 1699 01:12:51,542 --> 01:12:53,500 One of the things that I want to kind of point out, 1700 01:12:53,583 --> 01:12:56,292 this really can't be just about cleaning the house. 1701 01:12:56,375 --> 01:12:57,500 I mean, I think that's really important, 1702 01:12:57,583 --> 01:12:59,625 but I also want you to sort of see this 1703 01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:03,542 as probably the beginning of a mental health journey 1704 01:13:03,625 --> 01:13:06,667 that I really want you to go on and we'll start it here, 1705 01:13:06,708 --> 01:13:08,667 but obviously, there's no way we're gonna finish it. 1706 01:13:08,708 --> 01:13:11,333 But I want to kind of sort of start to figure out 1707 01:13:11,458 --> 01:13:13,375 what's going on so that 1708 01:13:13,458 --> 01:13:15,333 that way you've got at least in your head, 1709 01:13:15,417 --> 01:13:17,708 kind of a to-do list of these are the elements 1710 01:13:17,792 --> 01:13:20,292 that I really want to work on when I go to therapy. 1711 01:13:20,375 --> 01:13:21,333 Fair enough? 1712 01:13:21,417 --> 01:13:22,667 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 1713 01:13:22,708 --> 01:13:24,083 It seems like there's kind of two issues here. 1714 01:13:24,167 --> 01:13:26,375 One is that a lot of stuff is coming into the house, 1715 01:13:26,458 --> 01:13:27,875 but the other is not. 1716 01:13:28,042 --> 01:13:29,375 It sounds like not much is going out of the house, right? 1717 01:13:29,458 --> 01:13:30,667 - Right. 1718 01:13:30,750 --> 01:13:32,167 - [David] So it's hard for you 1719 01:13:32,250 --> 01:13:32,958 to let go of things, it sounds like. 1720 01:13:33,042 --> 01:13:34,542 - Right. 1721 01:13:34,625 --> 01:13:35,833 - And I wanted to kind of get a sense of, you know, 1722 01:13:35,917 --> 01:13:37,875 what do you think prevents you from discarding? 1723 01:13:41,750 --> 01:13:43,125 - I don't know. I don't know. 1724 01:13:43,208 --> 01:13:44,167 I can't answer you, I don't know. 1725 01:13:44,292 --> 01:13:45,125 - But you were overwhelmed? - Yeah. 1726 01:13:45,208 --> 01:13:46,125 - Okay. - Yeah, definitely. 1727 01:13:46,208 --> 01:13:47,083 - But that happens. 1728 01:13:47,167 --> 01:13:48,667 - It just got outta control. 1729 01:13:48,708 --> 01:13:54,042 - If we kinda look back in your life, sometimes, not always. 1730 01:13:55,375 --> 01:13:58,208 We find that there are things that have happened to a person 1731 01:13:58,292 --> 01:13:59,667 that might help us explain 1732 01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:03,708 why they engage in the behavior that they do. 1733 01:14:03,792 --> 01:14:05,458 I mean, do you have any thoughts about that in your life? 1734 01:14:05,583 --> 01:14:07,167 - Well, I think in my life, 1735 01:14:08,250 --> 01:14:09,250 you could have this subtitle of, 1736 01:14:09,375 --> 01:14:12,500 do you want A, B, C, D, E or F? 1737 01:14:13,542 --> 01:14:14,958 - I'm not sure I follow. 1738 01:14:15,042 --> 01:14:18,125 - That there's many times that I've been traumatized. 1739 01:14:18,208 --> 01:14:20,875 - Okay, so I don't there's... 1740 01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:22,375 (Terri chuckles) 1741 01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:23,292 - You've been traumatized. 1742 01:14:23,375 --> 01:14:24,708 - [Terri] Yeah, not as an adult. 1743 01:14:24,833 --> 01:14:26,708 - Okay, as a kid? - Yeah. 1744 01:14:26,833 --> 01:14:28,500 - Can I ask? I mean, what happened? 1745 01:14:28,542 --> 01:14:29,792 - No, I just, there was just a lot of trauma. 1746 01:14:29,875 --> 01:14:31,208 - Okay. - Lots and lots of trauma. 1747 01:14:31,292 --> 01:14:34,958 There was pedophiles, there was physical abuse, 1748 01:14:35,042 --> 01:14:37,583 there was mental abuse, there was neglect. 1749 01:14:37,667 --> 01:14:40,500 There was drugs, pharmaceutical drugs. 1750 01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:42,333 There was alcohol. 1751 01:14:42,458 --> 01:14:45,208 My mom had an affair the entire time 1752 01:14:45,292 --> 01:14:48,875 that she was married to my dad, and not just the affair. 1753 01:14:48,875 --> 01:14:52,542 I mean, I remember the nighttime escapades 1754 01:14:53,833 --> 01:14:56,417 and the hiding of the car and taking back roads. 1755 01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:59,792 So nobody'd see us go to his house and all that. 1756 01:15:02,542 --> 01:15:04,792 My dad was a drunk and a pedophile. 1757 01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:06,417 - Oh goodness. - And tried to rape me. 1758 01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:08,000 - [David] Oh, wow. 1759 01:15:08,083 --> 01:15:09,708 - You know, so there's, like I said, there's A, B, C. 1760 01:15:09,792 --> 01:15:11,458 That's what I meant by that. 1761 01:15:12,833 --> 01:15:14,958 - It just sounds like the repeated traumas 1762 01:15:15,042 --> 01:15:16,542 that you've experienced, that it would be, 1763 01:15:16,667 --> 01:15:18,583 it would surprise me 1764 01:15:18,708 --> 01:15:20,208 if that didn't play a role here somehow. 1765 01:15:20,333 --> 01:15:21,917 - I have my master's degree, 1766 01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:24,917 and I've taken lots of classes in psychology, 1767 01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:27,000 and sometimes they're very painful. 1768 01:15:27,125 --> 01:15:28,542 - Yeah. 1769 01:15:28,625 --> 01:15:29,958 - You know? - Painful. 1770 01:15:30,042 --> 01:15:30,833 - Painful. 1771 01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:32,833 - [David] Where does the pain come from? 1772 01:15:38,458 --> 01:15:40,875 (Terri sighs) 1773 01:15:42,375 --> 01:15:45,500 (somber piano music) 1774 01:15:48,458 --> 01:15:50,292 - It just brings that bull (bleep) back up. 1775 01:15:50,375 --> 01:15:52,625 - From your childhood? - Mm-hmm. 1776 01:15:52,708 --> 01:15:56,167 - She's just had a tremendous trauma history. 1777 01:15:56,208 --> 01:16:00,000 I mean, she just sounds like she had a horrible upbringing 1778 01:16:00,083 --> 01:16:02,667 and I can appreciate how that might have led her 1779 01:16:02,792 --> 01:16:06,000 to learn how to wall off her emotions. 1780 01:16:06,083 --> 01:16:08,958 Of course, I don't think that does her a service now, 1781 01:16:09,042 --> 01:16:11,917 but I see where that might have come from. 1782 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,833 I think she's gotta talk more about the childhood trauma. 1783 01:16:14,958 --> 01:16:17,667 I think she has to process that with somebody. 1784 01:16:17,750 --> 01:16:19,208 Thank you for talking with me, Terri. 1785 01:16:19,333 --> 01:16:19,958 - Thank you. - I appreciate it. 1786 01:16:20,042 --> 01:16:21,375 And the next piece, of course, 1787 01:16:21,458 --> 01:16:22,917 and we'll talk more about it later, 1788 01:16:23,042 --> 01:16:25,208 is I'm gonna try to set you up with a really good therapist, 1789 01:16:25,375 --> 01:16:26,583 you know, and I'd like you to go. 1790 01:16:26,667 --> 01:16:29,083 - I think I'll go. - All right. 1791 01:16:33,167 --> 01:16:34,083 (suspenseful music) 1792 01:16:42,292 --> 01:16:45,375 (workers chattering) 1793 01:16:45,458 --> 01:16:48,542 (debris clattering) 1794 01:16:50,333 --> 01:16:52,958 (dramatic music) 1795 01:17:06,667 --> 01:17:08,292 - [Worker] There you go. 1796 01:17:08,375 --> 01:17:09,250 Right there. 1797 01:17:16,542 --> 01:17:19,417 - [Dorothy] Right there, I think. 1798 01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:21,583 Okay, that's great. 1799 01:17:21,708 --> 01:17:24,375 (dramatic music) 1800 01:17:31,292 --> 01:17:33,417 (bright music) 1801 01:17:33,542 --> 01:17:34,625 - Oh my god! 1802 01:17:39,625 --> 01:17:41,167 - [Maggie] So cute! 1803 01:17:44,500 --> 01:17:45,625 Wow! 1804 01:17:45,708 --> 01:17:47,000 - This is is crazy. - Beautiful. 1805 01:17:47,083 --> 01:17:49,000 - This is great! (laughs) - I know, right? 1806 01:17:49,042 --> 01:17:49,917 - Yeah, very. 1807 01:17:50,042 --> 01:17:51,708 - I was really surprised. 1808 01:17:51,833 --> 01:17:53,583 Walking into the house for the first time 1809 01:17:53,667 --> 01:17:57,667 after everything was finished was just amazing. 1810 01:17:57,750 --> 01:17:59,625 It was, I didn't think it would look that good. 1811 01:17:59,708 --> 01:18:01,667 Yeah, this is so much you. 1812 01:18:01,750 --> 01:18:03,000 - So, Terri, I'm curious, 1813 01:18:03,083 --> 01:18:04,667 what's your reaction as you look around? 1814 01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:06,333 What do you think? 1815 01:18:06,417 --> 01:18:07,292 - I think it's beautiful. - Yeah. 1816 01:18:08,875 --> 01:18:11,292 - [Dorothy] Can you see space for friends and family? 1817 01:18:11,375 --> 01:18:12,167 - Definitely. 1818 01:18:13,708 --> 01:18:16,167 - What I wanna do is recap what we've done, 1819 01:18:16,250 --> 01:18:19,542 because we've been here for days, right? 1820 01:18:19,625 --> 01:18:22,000 And over those days, you know me now, Terri. 1821 01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:25,000 I like to keep track of the numbers and the hours. 1822 01:18:25,125 --> 01:18:28,250 And in this case, we've racked up enough hours 1823 01:18:28,333 --> 01:18:32,792 that it took almost a year's worth of time. 1824 01:18:32,875 --> 01:18:35,125 - Wow! - To do this house. 1825 01:18:35,208 --> 01:18:37,333 And you wonder why you couldn't do it? 1826 01:18:37,417 --> 01:18:39,542 (light piano music) 1827 01:18:39,625 --> 01:18:41,333 Alone. 1828 01:18:41,375 --> 01:18:44,667 So I wanna really thank you for letting us help you 1829 01:18:44,792 --> 01:18:47,250 and your receiving the help. 1830 01:18:47,333 --> 01:18:48,625 - Thank you. 1831 01:18:48,708 --> 01:18:49,583 - [Dorothy] Because I know that's hard for you. 1832 01:18:49,708 --> 01:18:51,167 - Maggie I know, you know, 1833 01:18:51,292 --> 01:18:53,833 we've talked and you've been worried about your mom. 1834 01:18:53,917 --> 01:18:54,875 How are you feeling right now? 1835 01:18:54,958 --> 01:18:57,542 - Amazing, she's just spectacular 1836 01:18:57,667 --> 01:18:59,708 and I'm just excited for her. 1837 01:18:59,792 --> 01:19:04,750 I really had no kind of idea what to expect, 1838 01:19:06,083 --> 01:19:09,667 but just seeing the magnitude of everything being gone 1839 01:19:09,750 --> 01:19:11,292 and the decorating 1840 01:19:11,375 --> 01:19:13,667 and everything that Dorothy and the team 1841 01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:15,875 and the junk crew were able to accomplish 1842 01:19:15,958 --> 01:19:19,708 has been just absolutely amazing. 1843 01:19:19,833 --> 01:19:21,833 - So we have more to go. 1844 01:19:21,875 --> 01:19:23,167 I know you wanna see it. 1845 01:19:23,208 --> 01:19:25,208 I wanna show it, let's get going. 1846 01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:26,000 - Okay. 1847 01:19:29,042 --> 01:19:32,000 - Oh my gosh, look how pretty. 1848 01:19:32,083 --> 01:19:32,875 - Oh, yay! 1849 01:19:36,667 --> 01:19:38,875 Oh, my gosh! - Look at that! 1850 01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:40,375 - It looks so good! 1851 01:19:43,750 --> 01:19:47,333 Oh my gosh, look at that. - Holy cow. 1852 01:19:47,417 --> 01:19:49,125 - Look at that, look at my! 1853 01:19:49,208 --> 01:19:50,333 - (laughs) look at what she's got, wait. 1854 01:19:50,417 --> 01:19:51,583 Pink grapefruit. 1855 01:19:51,667 --> 01:19:52,875 (group laughs) 1856 01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:54,875 - [Maggie] The pink grapefruit drink. 1857 01:19:57,250 --> 01:19:59,833 - Thank you guys so much. - It looks beautiful. 1858 01:19:59,958 --> 01:20:01,667 - So Terri, I know that cooking is one thing 1859 01:20:01,667 --> 01:20:03,000 that historically you've liked to do, 1860 01:20:03,083 --> 01:20:04,833 and I wonder, you know, again, 1861 01:20:04,958 --> 01:20:07,167 do you have plans to maybe start cooking in here 1862 01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:09,750 and kind of reestablishing use of this room? 1863 01:20:11,167 --> 01:20:13,167 - I have dinners to make for neighbors. 1864 01:20:13,250 --> 01:20:14,500 (Joann laughs) 1865 01:20:14,583 --> 01:20:15,667 - Good, I think they've earned it. 1866 01:20:15,708 --> 01:20:17,042 - [Terri] Yeah, that's good. 1867 01:20:17,125 --> 01:20:18,500 - You know, we did a couple of things in here. 1868 01:20:18,583 --> 01:20:19,500 Obviously, there's a new fridge. 1869 01:20:19,542 --> 01:20:21,208 - Yes. - Which was essential. 1870 01:20:21,333 --> 01:20:23,667 The stove that you had is cleaned up. 1871 01:20:23,708 --> 01:20:26,042 What was burned has been painted. 1872 01:20:26,167 --> 01:20:28,417 - So what did Duane say? - Duane, yes. 1873 01:20:28,542 --> 01:20:29,917 I don't know him as Duane. 1874 01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:32,500 I know him as Chief Miller. - The Chief. 1875 01:20:32,542 --> 01:20:33,375 - Yes. - But you know, 1876 01:20:33,458 --> 01:20:35,833 he came in here and he feels 1877 01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:38,500 that you're basically compliant here. 1878 01:20:38,583 --> 01:20:39,833 That the city isn't gonna be, 1879 01:20:39,917 --> 01:20:42,833 like on you about anything as long as? 1880 01:20:42,917 --> 01:20:45,167 - I keep it up. - Yeah. 1881 01:20:45,208 --> 01:20:49,667 - Let's take that high and move on to the dining room. 1882 01:20:49,750 --> 01:20:52,292 (Terri laughs) 1883 01:20:53,958 --> 01:20:55,500 - [Maggie] This is perfect. 1884 01:20:55,583 --> 01:20:57,417 - I see a beautiful dining room table with four chairs, 1885 01:20:57,542 --> 01:20:59,167 and I see four of you. - Yes. 1886 01:20:59,208 --> 01:21:01,500 - And I think that that is perfect for the four of you. 1887 01:21:01,667 --> 01:21:02,542 - [Terri] Yes. 1888 01:21:02,708 --> 01:21:03,625 - To sit down for a nice meal 1889 01:21:03,708 --> 01:21:04,542 that perhaps you cooked, Terri. 1890 01:21:04,667 --> 01:21:07,333 - Yes, it's lovely, thank you. 1891 01:21:07,458 --> 01:21:09,500 - You know, I do hope that she will let us come in and say, 1892 01:21:09,583 --> 01:21:11,250 "Hey, fix us a cup of coffee. 1893 01:21:11,375 --> 01:21:12,833 "Let's eat a piece of cake together." 1894 01:21:12,917 --> 01:21:14,625 That way we'll be able to come in, 1895 01:21:14,708 --> 01:21:17,917 see if everything's still going the way it should be going. 1896 01:21:18,833 --> 01:21:19,833 - You know what? 1897 01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,458 This is a big house. 1898 01:21:21,542 --> 01:21:24,958 This was a big hoard and so we have more good stuff to see. 1899 01:21:26,958 --> 01:21:29,667 - (gasps) Oh my God! 1900 01:21:29,750 --> 01:21:32,500 - Oh yes, honey! - How cool is that? 1901 01:21:36,208 --> 01:21:38,000 - It's like, you're on the water. 1902 01:21:43,042 --> 01:21:44,833 - So cute! - Look, who did this? 1903 01:21:44,917 --> 01:21:47,000 - So cute! - Look at this, Terri. 1904 01:21:47,083 --> 01:21:50,250 - Welcome to San Juan Island. 1905 01:21:50,333 --> 01:21:53,042 - Yes, someone's been listening! 1906 01:21:53,167 --> 01:21:55,000 - This was your favorite room to do, I can tell. 1907 01:21:55,042 --> 01:21:56,458 (Stephanie laughs) 1908 01:21:56,542 --> 01:21:59,500 - The bedroom, yes! 1909 01:21:59,542 --> 01:22:00,875 That's the best room. 1910 01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:02,875 We loved putting it together 1911 01:22:02,958 --> 01:22:05,750 because it's Terri's personal goal. 1912 01:22:05,875 --> 01:22:07,333 I casually asked her, 1913 01:22:07,417 --> 01:22:09,500 "Eh, where would you like to travel in your lifetime?" 1914 01:22:09,583 --> 01:22:12,250 She said, "I just wanna go back to the San Juan Islands. 1915 01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:13,917 "We went there as a family. 1916 01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,833 "I have good memories, I wanna go there again." 1917 01:22:16,875 --> 01:22:19,625 This room isn't just your bedroom, 1918 01:22:19,708 --> 01:22:22,292 this room is your future. 1919 01:22:22,375 --> 01:22:23,333 Right? 1920 01:22:23,417 --> 01:22:25,333 It's just representative and symbolic of. 1921 01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,625 - Exactly. - What we hope for you. 1922 01:22:29,167 --> 01:22:31,917 We went ahead and counted how many items you did keep. 1923 01:22:31,917 --> 01:22:33,083 And to be honest, 1924 01:22:33,167 --> 01:22:34,500 it was upward toward a million items 1925 01:22:34,583 --> 01:22:35,958 that were inside the house. 1926 01:22:35,958 --> 01:22:38,125 - Told you that. - You only kept about 500. 1927 01:22:38,208 --> 01:22:40,500 - Oh wow. - That's really fantastic. 1928 01:22:40,542 --> 01:22:42,000 - Really, truly. 1929 01:22:42,083 --> 01:22:43,333 - I told you, I know some people thought I was stubborn, 1930 01:22:43,417 --> 01:22:47,375 but I was just focused about getting this done. 1931 01:22:47,458 --> 01:22:51,333 So I just wanted to do as whatever I had to do to do it. 1932 01:22:51,375 --> 01:22:53,667 - I just know that the three of you 1933 01:22:53,750 --> 01:22:55,667 have been working your butts off 1934 01:22:55,792 --> 01:22:57,167 for these last several days. 1935 01:22:57,292 --> 01:22:59,667 And I just want to say I really appreciate the effort. 1936 01:22:59,750 --> 01:23:02,000 I can see you're caring for Terri. 1937 01:23:02,042 --> 01:23:03,875 You know, it just, you wear it on your sleeves 1938 01:23:03,958 --> 01:23:05,958 and I really appreciate it. 1939 01:23:06,042 --> 01:23:09,750 Managing hoarding on your own is very, very hard. 1940 01:23:09,833 --> 01:23:11,125 And it's much easier 1941 01:23:11,208 --> 01:23:13,000 if you've got the support of some loved ones. 1942 01:23:13,042 --> 01:23:14,542 And fortunately, 1943 01:23:14,625 --> 01:23:18,583 Terri's got some really supportive family and friends. 1944 01:23:18,667 --> 01:23:19,708 I think it's really important 1945 01:23:19,792 --> 01:23:21,250 that they continue to support her, 1946 01:23:21,333 --> 01:23:23,167 challenge her when she needs to be challenged 1947 01:23:23,250 --> 01:23:24,750 and keep her accountable. 1948 01:23:24,875 --> 01:23:26,125 As I've mentioned before, 1949 01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:28,042 what I really want you to be thinking about 1950 01:23:28,208 --> 01:23:31,125 is that this is not the end of the process. 1951 01:23:31,208 --> 01:23:32,792 This is the start of the process. 1952 01:23:32,875 --> 01:23:34,208 - Exactly. - Right? 1953 01:23:34,292 --> 01:23:36,083 And so aftercare is gonna be really important 1954 01:23:36,167 --> 01:23:38,500 for you to get into to good therapy, 1955 01:23:38,542 --> 01:23:40,917 which I'm gonna refer you to and we're gonna pay for. 1956 01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:43,417 So we want to make sure that you get the care that you need. 1957 01:23:43,500 --> 01:23:45,125 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 1958 01:23:45,125 --> 01:23:47,875 - I cannot even believe it. 1959 01:23:47,958 --> 01:23:49,333 - Well, let me just say, Terri, 1960 01:23:49,375 --> 01:23:50,708 it's been a real pleasure working with you. 1961 01:23:50,792 --> 01:23:52,208 - [Terri] Thank you. 1962 01:23:52,292 --> 01:23:53,333 - I know that sometimes we didn't quite see eye to eye, 1963 01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:54,417 but I'm really glad that we were able to connect 1964 01:23:54,500 --> 01:23:56,250 and I'm really glad that - Me too. 1965 01:23:56,333 --> 01:23:57,792 you're on your way. - Me too. 1966 01:23:57,792 --> 01:23:59,167 So I just want to wish you the very best of luck. 1967 01:23:59,292 --> 01:24:00,250 - I wanna thank you. - All right. 1968 01:24:00,333 --> 01:24:02,000 - Thank you for everything. 1969 01:24:04,833 --> 01:24:06,708 - I love you! - I love you, I'm sorry. 1970 01:24:06,792 --> 01:24:07,625 - And Maggie has her own kayak 1971 01:24:07,708 --> 01:24:08,833 (group laughs) 1972 01:24:08,875 --> 01:24:09,667 - Terri. 1973 01:24:11,583 --> 01:24:14,375 - One of the biggest parts of this project 1974 01:24:14,458 --> 01:24:18,833 was I receive aftercare to help me with my emotions 1975 01:24:18,958 --> 01:24:21,167 and this hoarding business. 1976 01:24:21,250 --> 01:24:23,042 I need to get it under control. 1977 01:24:23,125 --> 01:24:25,125 I'm going to get it under control. 1978 01:24:25,208 --> 01:24:28,208 I don't know what the future holds, 1979 01:24:28,208 --> 01:24:33,042 but I do not intend to ever, ever hoard again. 1980 01:24:33,167 --> 01:24:36,042 (dramatic music) 1981 01:25:02,333 --> 01:25:06,042 (bright orchestral music)