1 00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:03,167 - [Destiny] I've hoarded this home 2 00:00:03,292 --> 00:00:05,167 with my mother for 20 years. 3 00:00:05,333 --> 00:00:08,333 - [Doug] It is completely packed almost to the ceiling. 4 00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:13,792 - [Destiny] 48 Hours ago, my mother had a heart attack. 5 00:00:13,917 --> 00:00:15,333 (emotional music) 6 00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:18,000 If she doesn't go through with this clean up. 7 00:00:18,083 --> 00:00:19,667 - She will get evicted. 8 00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:23,000 - If I'm evicted, I don't know where I'll go from here. 9 00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:24,875 - It's not going very easy. 10 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,500 I want her to learn, this is not okay. 11 00:00:29,167 --> 00:00:31,167 Destiny's already over there picking out 12 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,417 what she wants to keep. 13 00:00:32,542 --> 00:00:33,250 - Oh. 14 00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:35,042 I need to find a specific plate. 15 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,000 - I've been trying to keep it together. 16 00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:39,500 - [Dorothy] He too is a hoarder. 17 00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:41,500 - [Doug] I want to keep so much of this. 18 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:42,875 - [Destiny] This is probably gonna be 19 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:45,458 the hardest thing I'm ever going to do. 20 00:00:46,542 --> 00:00:48,292 - This is the time for her to step up. 21 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:52,500 (somber music) 22 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,417 (eerie music) 23 00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:26,292 (traffic passing) (instrumental country music) 24 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,500 - I'm Destiny, I'm 35 years old 25 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:38,667 and I've hoarded this home with my mother for 20 years. 26 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,250 (dramatic music) 27 00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:43,542 The house is three bedrooms, two bath, 28 00:01:45,167 --> 00:01:48,500 and it's full of trash, and unneeded collectibles. 29 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:49,667 (slow rock music) 30 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,000 Dolls, angels, 31 00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:53,667 elephants, 32 00:01:53,792 --> 00:01:55,833 peacock figurines, 33 00:01:55,958 --> 00:01:58,750 pots and pans, kitchen gadgets, 34 00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:00,792 different brands of soda products, 35 00:02:01,917 --> 00:02:04,417 pillows, clothing, 36 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:05,750 stacks of books, 37 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,333 movies, 38 00:02:07,417 --> 00:02:09,583 and lot of trash right in front of the door. 39 00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:14,125 (music fades) 40 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:16,542 - I'm Dawn I'm Destiny's sister. 41 00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,500 (dramatic music) 42 00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:21,750 The house is so bad that 43 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:25,583 I call it a nightmare. 44 00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:31,125 It's dark and dusty, 45 00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:34,875 and it smells like trash. 46 00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:38,833 There's plates, and cans, 47 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,000 and just things that just fell apart, 48 00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,500 and they just left 'em. 49 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,125 - I'm Doug and I'm Destiny's older brother. 50 00:02:49,208 --> 00:02:50,292 (eerie music) 51 00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:52,458 When I walk in the house, 52 00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:54,417 the first thing I see is the living room, 53 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,625 and it is completely packed with trash. 54 00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:04,167 From the floor almost to the ceiling, just a wall of it. 55 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:07,792 On the way into the kitchen is kind of the same story. 56 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:09,458 The entire dining room, 57 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:13,333 where we used to sit and have our meals is full of garbage. 58 00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:16,417 You can't get to the counters in the kitchen at all, 59 00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:18,500 because they're so packed with stuff. 60 00:03:19,708 --> 00:03:22,250 - We have one working burner on our stove. 61 00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:26,542 It's where I cook, or the microwave, or an air fryer. 62 00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:31,042 There is one spot on the counter that I can prepare food, 63 00:03:31,208 --> 00:03:33,125 which makes it very difficult. 64 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:36,292 And there's maybe three feet of space 65 00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:40,292 that I could turn around in, the rest is taken up by trash. 66 00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:45,667 - I'm Roddy, and I'm Destiny's brother. 67 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,042 (dramatic music) 68 00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:48,542 When you walk through the house, 69 00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:52,250 I think the first thing that grabs your eye is the trash. 70 00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,500 It's just chaos. 71 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,833 All of the furniture is in disarray. 72 00:03:57,958 --> 00:03:59,167 Everything's covered in dust. 73 00:03:59,292 --> 00:04:00,917 Nothing's been cleaned in years. 74 00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:03,333 It's just, again, just trash. 75 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:08,583 - Most of the trash consists of boxes of food 76 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:11,667 that we brought in, and I just never took to the trash. 77 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,500 I would open a box and take the product out, 78 00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:18,333 but just kind of throw the box around the room, 79 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,167 whichever room I was in. 80 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:23,375 If it is something that's not too soggy, 81 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,417 I will toss it in my room. 82 00:04:25,542 --> 00:04:29,167 If it's something that's going to leak everywhere, 83 00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:32,292 I take kitchen trash and toss it there. 84 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,958 - I don't think that Destiny has a problem 85 00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:38,875 of getting rid of the trash, 86 00:04:39,042 --> 00:04:41,708 but when you've lived in that environment for so long, 87 00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:45,000 moving one piece of trash to a trash bag, 88 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:46,958 you look around and you think, 89 00:04:47,042 --> 00:04:48,667 what difference am I really making? 90 00:04:50,042 --> 00:04:53,833 And taking the first step seems insurmountable. 91 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:56,917 (dramatic music ends) 92 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:01,333 - My bedroom is where I spend most of my time, 93 00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:03,542 mostly surfing the internet, 94 00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:06,208 reading fan fiction, watching TV. 95 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,250 It's also where I eat. 96 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,375 For the last year or so, 97 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,333 mom spent all of her time in her room 98 00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:14,333 and I spent all of my time in my room, 99 00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:16,417 because there really was nowhere else 100 00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:20,417 for us to sit down together and spend time together. 101 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,917 (dramatic music) 102 00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:31,125 The last time the property manager 103 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:34,042 was physically in the house was probably five years ago. 104 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:38,917 The house was bad at the time, but it's much worse now. 105 00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,333 I've been concerned that if she walked in this house 106 00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:45,667 and saw it, she'd be very angry. 107 00:05:45,792 --> 00:05:48,000 - The property management company did tell my mom 108 00:05:48,125 --> 00:05:49,583 that if we didn't clean up, 109 00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:51,708 then they were gonna have to find some else to live. 110 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,833 - If we don't get this cleaned up, we will be evicted. 111 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:00,042 (dramatic music fades) 112 00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:02,708 (sad slow music) 113 00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:05,792 My mom has been hoarding my whole life. 114 00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:10,625 Growing up in the house, my mother had a lot of things. 115 00:06:10,708 --> 00:06:13,667 I don't think any of us thought it was hoarding at the time. 116 00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:16,333 Mostly because the house was clean, 117 00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,833 but there were a lot of things everywhere. 118 00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:21,667 My hoarding was a learned behavior from my mother. 119 00:06:21,792 --> 00:06:24,083 I would see how my mother would collect things 120 00:06:24,208 --> 00:06:26,833 and I wanted pretty things too. 121 00:06:26,958 --> 00:06:29,375 In my early childhood and early teen years, 122 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,000 my dad would take me to thrift stores. 123 00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:36,583 That's when I really started collecting, 124 00:06:36,708 --> 00:06:39,458 I would never clean my room, never get rid of anything. 125 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,708 - Honestly, I feel like Destiny began her hoarding 126 00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:49,000 after my sister Melody and my nephew, Sean died. 127 00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:52,833 I think that's when the family began its fall. 128 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:58,083 - When I was 17, my sister Melody and my nephew Sean, 129 00:06:58,208 --> 00:06:59,625 were killed in a car accident. 130 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,708 - The night it happened, 131 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:04,583 the police came to the house to notify us. 132 00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:07,000 And as soon as they said it, mom just collapsed. 133 00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:11,000 - After we were notified, 134 00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:14,667 I went to the hospital to identify the bodies. 135 00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:18,917 It was traumatic, I saw them in the bags. 136 00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:22,917 - It fundamentally changed the dynamic of the family. 137 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:27,833 Mom sort of checked out and I think that's really, 138 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,917 when it started to go downhill for Destiny. 139 00:07:31,958 --> 00:07:32,917 - I was devastated. 140 00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:37,667 I fell into a tailspin, became very depressed. 141 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,500 - There was a time when she was full of life. 142 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:46,208 So much life in her eyes and she just stopped. 143 00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,250 - After the accident, 144 00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:52,458 mine and my mom's hoarding got a lot worse. 145 00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:54,042 That's when it started to pick up, 146 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,708 it became a bit of a problem. 147 00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:58,667 - Mom and Destiny would go thrift shopping together, 148 00:07:58,792 --> 00:08:03,167 and I think that they were trying to fill a hole. 149 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,875 And I think they started acquiring things to feel better. 150 00:08:07,042 --> 00:08:08,208 - Hi! - Hello. 151 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:13,458 My mom's hoarding went into overdrive about that time. 152 00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:16,083 My dad was the one who kept the hoarding in check. 153 00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:20,167 - The stuff in the barn, the stuff in the two sheds, 154 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:24,125 and the little trailer, all of that was put out there, 155 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:27,750 keeping the house kind of free of the clutter. 156 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,125 That was always daddy's answer to mama's hoarding, 157 00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:32,875 is put it in a building outside, just stack it up. 158 00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:36,375 - Once my dad passed in 2011, 159 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,417 it was out of control completely. 160 00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:41,000 We stopped taking things out of the house. 161 00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:45,208 - After pop died, I think mom completely let herself go, 162 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,583 and let everything go. 163 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,833 - I think that all these losses 164 00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:54,708 absolutely contributed to their behaviors. 165 00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,250 - Mom and Destiny both got the habit 166 00:08:57,375 --> 00:09:00,125 of doing things they needed to do and nothing more. 167 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,250 - They formed a very unhealthy symbiotic relationship. 168 00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:07,083 Destiny and mom were both shut-ins. 169 00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,625 Unless it was to go get groceries 170 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:13,708 or to go pick up more stuff for the house, 171 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,625 they just kind of stayed in the house with their stuff. 172 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,875 - My mom has been in poor health for a number of years. 173 00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:30,667 She's had thing, after thing, after thing, 174 00:09:30,792 --> 00:09:32,625 just sort of go wrong. 175 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:36,000 - Mom has been a smoker since, I think she was 15. 176 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:39,667 She's had congestive heart failure for at least 10 years, 177 00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:44,417 sleep apnea, asthma, and a whole list of other ailments. 178 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,000 And these last couple of years, 179 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:50,000 it has really limited her mobility 180 00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:52,167 and her quality of life. 181 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,208 She has spent all of her time in her bedroom. 182 00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:58,875 - On her bed she has this tiny sleeping space 183 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,583 where she probably couldn't even roll over if she wanted to 184 00:10:01,708 --> 00:10:03,708 because it's so piled high with stuff. 185 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,875 - The house got really, really, really bad. 186 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,708 And I knew that something had to change, 187 00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,792 if she was going to have any chance of getting better. 188 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,667 I told my siblings that, "Mom can't live like this." 189 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,292 and we sort of had an intervention if you will, 190 00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:22,667 with my mom and my sister, that we would clean up the house 191 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:26,500 and we would move mom and Destiny to where I live. 192 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:30,708 And mom is not very receptive to the idea. 193 00:10:30,833 --> 00:10:33,375 - When Roddy wanted to clean up, 194 00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:36,000 mom provided a lot of resistance. 195 00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:38,708 I wanted to be supportive of my mom, 196 00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:41,333 but I really wanted the house clean. 197 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,167 - The only way I could get her to agree to it 198 00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:47,333 was to tell her that I wouldn't move her and Destiny, 199 00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:49,125 if they agreed to do it. 200 00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:52,542 She was still not happy, but she said, yes. 201 00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:55,083 - Mom was very tired of living like this. 202 00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:58,375 A few days ago, she told me she was very ready 203 00:10:58,542 --> 00:11:01,375 to get everything out of this house that was unneeded. 204 00:11:01,542 --> 00:11:04,292 She was finally ready to let things go. 205 00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:07,333 - When mom was on board, I was like, this is it. 206 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:10,708 (slow dramatic music) 207 00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:17,417 - 48 hours ago my mother had a heart attack. 208 00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:20,167 It was very sudden, very shocking. 209 00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:23,708 I was sitting in front of her when it happened. 210 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:29,875 All she said was "Oh." and clutched her chest, 211 00:11:30,708 --> 00:11:31,917 and then she slumped, 212 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:35,792 and the light went out. 213 00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:41,250 - My sister called me in a panic 214 00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:45,333 and said that mom collapsed and wasn't breathing. 215 00:11:47,042 --> 00:11:49,792 I think a part of me knew that she was already gone. 216 00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:54,625 - The loss of my mother's been devastating. 217 00:11:54,708 --> 00:11:57,292 I based almost my entire life around her. 218 00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,250 I'm having a hard time 219 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:04,417 imagining what life's gonna be now without her. 220 00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:08,000 - I'm extremely worried about Destiny. 221 00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:10,167 I'm afraid she's gonna fall into a depression 222 00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:13,875 because she was with mama every day of her life. 223 00:12:14,042 --> 00:12:17,292 So, I'm sure she has no idea where she's gonna go 224 00:12:17,417 --> 00:12:18,375 or what she's gonna do. 225 00:12:25,042 --> 00:12:26,542 - The decision to move forward with the cleanup 226 00:12:26,667 --> 00:12:29,083 was extraordinarily difficult. 227 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:34,000 - When mom passed, I had to make the decision 228 00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:35,917 whether I wanted to continue or not. 229 00:12:37,292 --> 00:12:38,750 - When we walked out of the hospital, 230 00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:42,667 the very first thing my sister said to us was, 231 00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:44,125 "I wanna still do it." 232 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,667 - And it has been the hardest decision of my life. 233 00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:51,458 I have to clean up this house for her, 234 00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,750 for me, and for my family. 235 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,500 - If the cleanup doesn't happen, 236 00:12:56,583 --> 00:13:00,500 then the property manager will definitely evict Destiny. 237 00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,917 And I'm not sure where she 238 00:13:03,042 --> 00:13:04,833 or any of us would be at that point. 239 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,667 - This probably gonna be the hardest thing 240 00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,167 I'm ever going to do, trying to clean up a house 241 00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:12,542 that was meant to be cleaned up with 242 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,875 the most important person to me, my mother. 243 00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:17,292 She's not here anymore. 244 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:21,125 - If she doesn't go through with this cleanup, 245 00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:24,292 I feel like I might lose her too. 246 00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:50,917 - I don't think (that I have starteds) 247 00:13:51,042 --> 00:13:52,917 dealing with the feelings of this yet. 248 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,792 My mom meant everything to me, 249 00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,917 and then she passed in front of me. 250 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,667 The cleanup would've meant a whole lot to mom. 251 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,917 She hated living the way we do. 252 00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:09,208 I have to clean up this house for her. 253 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,458 - I think Destiny's ready. 254 00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,333 But I think it's gonna be harder on her 255 00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:15,833 than she thinks that it is. 256 00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,667 Not cleaning up is not an option. 257 00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:25,167 It has to be done. 258 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:30,375 - If she doesn't go through with it, she will get evicted. 259 00:14:31,708 --> 00:14:33,875 - Ultimately I think Destiny knows 260 00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:36,667 that this is the time for her to step up 261 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,500 and really make a change. 262 00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:43,958 - If I'm evicted, I don't know where I'll go from here. 263 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:55,792 (dramatic music fades) 264 00:14:55,917 --> 00:14:57,000 (birds chirping) 265 00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,292 - [Robin] Hello everybody! 266 00:14:58,417 --> 00:14:59,458 - Hello. - Hi. 267 00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:01,750 - [Robin] I think I've come to the right place. 268 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:02,833 - Yes ma'am. - Thank you for having me. 269 00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:05,083 - Thank you. - Thank you for coming. 270 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:08,125 - I'm Dr. Robin Zasio, I'm a licensed clinical psychologist 271 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,000 and I specialize in helping people 272 00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:12,667 who are struggling with hoarding behaviors. 273 00:15:12,792 --> 00:15:13,958 I wanna start by saying, 274 00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:16,500 that I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. 275 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:19,792 The timing is obviously not ideal by any means, 276 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,833 but I know that you guys are all really motivated 277 00:15:21,958 --> 00:15:23,417 to get this house in order. 278 00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,042 So I'm glad that I'm here. 279 00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,792 Before we continue, I thought I would just do 280 00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:29,625 a quick check in with you, Destiny. 281 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:30,917 How are you doing? 282 00:15:31,042 --> 00:15:31,875 (emotional music) 283 00:15:32,042 --> 00:15:32,875 - Very shocked, 284 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:36,542 very devastated, 285 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,625 but I'm doing alright. 286 00:15:39,708 --> 00:15:42,917 - Okay, how has it been for you the last few days? 287 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,042 - Very hard. 288 00:15:45,542 --> 00:15:47,375 - Okay, well I know your family's here 289 00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,500 and I know that everybody really is not okay. 290 00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:54,167 And I'm here for all of you during this very difficult time. 291 00:15:54,292 --> 00:15:56,833 So, thank you for being open about that. 292 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,833 That being said, Destiny, are you ready 293 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,875 to go into the house and show me around? 294 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,667 - Yes. - Okay. 295 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,542 Destiny and the rest of the family 296 00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:08,500 are all very brave to do this. 297 00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:09,875 I can't even imagine 298 00:16:10,042 --> 00:16:12,583 what an incredibly difficult time this is for them. 299 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,500 Ooh. 300 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:19,208 Wow, okay. 301 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,500 Living room? 302 00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:22,833 - Yes. - Okay. 303 00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:24,667 - This used to be the heart of the house. 304 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,208 We'd hang out just casually, we'd have friends over. 305 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:29,083 - Okay. 306 00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,500 Were you a social family? 307 00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:32,375 'Cause it sounds like it. 308 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,000 - Oh, we were very social. - Okay. 309 00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:35,583 We had lots of friends over. 310 00:16:35,708 --> 00:16:37,208 We ended up not being so social, 311 00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:40,458 - Right. after the accident. 312 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,375 - Okay, tell me about the accident. 313 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,625 - Melody and Sean were killed in a car accident in 2004. 314 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:51,792 Melody was 24 and Sean was two. 315 00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:54,125 It kind of imploded the family a bit. 316 00:16:55,292 --> 00:17:00,125 That's when we basically all just stopped living. 317 00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:05,250 Stopped hanging out, stopped pretty much everything. 318 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:06,958 - Okay. 319 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:10,208 Were hoarding behaviors present at that time? 320 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,958 - I don't know if it'd be categorized that way. 321 00:17:13,042 --> 00:17:15,625 She wouldn't have, my mom. - Mm hmm. 322 00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:18,625 She always said that her house was cluttered. 323 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:19,917 - Okay. 324 00:17:20,042 --> 00:17:21,625 - Which is how she always explained it off, 325 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,000 is it was cluttered. 326 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:27,333 - And Destiny, when I look around, 327 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,167 the thing that really stands out is the amount of trash. 328 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,208 - [Destiny] Yeah. 329 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,333 - So there's clutter, 330 00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:35,375 but this is trash. - Yep. 331 00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,792 - And I know in the midst of it, 332 00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:38,542 you probably have some really good stuff, 333 00:17:38,667 --> 00:17:39,542 that's hard to see. 334 00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,083 - Yeah, that's underneath everything. 335 00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:46,167 - But what was the turning point from the clutter 336 00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:52,417 to just throwing the trash on the ground? 337 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,375 - When my dad died, he was actually 338 00:17:55,500 --> 00:18:00,458 what would keep us from keeping too much stuff in. 339 00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:02,833 He was the one who took care of the trash. 340 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,333 - Right. 341 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:08,500 So when he died, it's like, we didn't care anymore. 342 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,458 Even though we did. 343 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:13,750 It just, it would snowball. - Mm hmm. 344 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,458 - You're probably aware of this, 345 00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:19,333 but all of this is perpetuating your loss. 346 00:18:21,458 --> 00:18:22,208 - Yep. 347 00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:24,500 Yep. 348 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:28,000 - Because you've had some very significant losses 349 00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:32,000 in your life that have really led 350 00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:33,917 to your giving up. 351 00:18:34,042 --> 00:18:35,333 - Yep. 352 00:18:35,417 --> 00:18:38,750 - And you've gone into a spiral of grieving. 353 00:18:38,875 --> 00:18:40,292 - Yep. 354 00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:41,833 Most of the trash though is me. 355 00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:43,125 - It is. 356 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:45,833 - Not all of it, but I was the one 357 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,208 who was responsible for the trash mostly after dad died. 358 00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:52,750 - I feel like there's a lot of judgment 359 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:56,958 that she's putting on herself because of the trash, 360 00:18:57,042 --> 00:19:01,167 which essentially led to depression. 361 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,417 There's a really strong sense, Destiny, 362 00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:08,125 that your self-esteem is really lacking. 363 00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:09,750 - Oh. 364 00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:13,042 (slow emotional music) 365 00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:16,375 It's hard to have it when you look around 366 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,667 where you're living and it looks like this, 367 00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,500 and you don't know how to pull yourself out, 368 00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:24,000 and stop the habits and clean it up. 369 00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:27,458 And yeah, I don't have very high self esteem. 370 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:28,542 - Okay. 371 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,875 I get that you were a major contributor, 372 00:19:31,042 --> 00:19:34,500 but I really wanna focus on the reality 373 00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:39,125 that there are factors, deep, deep, emotional pain, 374 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,292 that led to this. 375 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:44,792 - Yeah. 376 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,792 - And so in addition to managing 377 00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:53,833 the grief of the loss of your mom, we'll help you with this. 378 00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:55,292 - Okay. - Okay? 379 00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:56,542 - Yep. - Okay. 380 00:19:57,875 --> 00:20:01,125 She has over a decade 381 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:05,833 of grief and loss that has not been processed. 382 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,208 - [Destiny] This is my bathroom. 383 00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:11,667 - Question. - Yep. 384 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:14,750 - There's a lot of toilet paper on the ground? 385 00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:15,833 - [Destiny] Yep. 386 00:20:15,958 --> 00:20:17,292 - So is the toilet working? 387 00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:20,458 - It was. - Okay. 388 00:20:20,583 --> 00:20:21,583 (somber music) 389 00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:24,667 The floor is covered in used toilet paper. 390 00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:28,500 This isn't any way a person should be living. 391 00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:31,042 And I know that Destiny knows this. 392 00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:33,458 I think she's just completely given up. 393 00:20:35,042 --> 00:20:36,375 - [Destiny] This is my bedroom. 394 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:37,458 It's where I sleep. 395 00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:43,375 - And so this is a similar situation when you're done 396 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,375 with whatever you're eating or doing, 397 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,000 it just goes over there. 398 00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:48,250 - Yep. - Okay. 399 00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,875 Are you able to separate out stuff to keep 400 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,667 versus what is really trash? 401 00:20:53,792 --> 00:20:55,958 Or do you anticipate you're gonna struggle with 402 00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:57,625 getting rid of the trash? 403 00:20:57,708 --> 00:20:59,500 - The trash, I'll probably be just fine. 404 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:00,750 - Okay. 405 00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:02,667 - It'll be once you get past the trash 406 00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:05,125 and into the clothes that I worry. 407 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,417 - Okay. 408 00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,917 Destiny, I know you're really motivated. 409 00:21:09,042 --> 00:21:10,708 We clearly have a crisis here. 410 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,333 - Yeah. 411 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,917 - What's gonna happen if we don't get the house cleaned up? 412 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,167 - I lose everything. 413 00:21:18,292 --> 00:21:19,042 - Okay. 414 00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:21,083 - I'm gonna get evicted. 415 00:21:21,208 --> 00:21:22,833 - Okay, we can't let that happen. 416 00:21:22,958 --> 00:21:23,792 - [Destiny] Right. 417 00:21:23,917 --> 00:21:25,500 - Absolutely not. 418 00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:28,500 I feel really bad that Destiny 419 00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,708 has been living in these conditions 420 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:35,333 and hasn't had any resources to get this house in order. 421 00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:36,833 (somber music fades) 422 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,375 Which room is this? 423 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:40,375 - This is mom's bedroom. - Okay. 424 00:21:42,042 --> 00:21:43,125 Okay. 425 00:21:43,250 --> 00:21:44,667 Where did she sleep? 426 00:21:45,542 --> 00:21:47,167 - On the other side. 427 00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:48,042 - Okay. 428 00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:49,333 Have things been moved 429 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,917 or was that pretty much where she was sleeping? 430 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,583 - I don't know if things have been moved, I can't look. 431 00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:56,000 That's where she was. - Okay. 432 00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:58,042 - That's where it happened. 433 00:21:58,167 --> 00:22:00,000 I was sitting on the end of the bed. 434 00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:02,958 (slow piano music) 435 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:08,333 - Gail passed with Destiny at her bedside 436 00:22:08,417 --> 00:22:12,625 and that's gotta be extremely painful for Destiny. 437 00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:16,000 And unfortunately she is now by herself, 438 00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:18,208 left to make all the decisions. 439 00:22:18,333 --> 00:22:19,500 We're here, obviously, 440 00:22:19,667 --> 00:22:22,125 because this house needs to be salvaged. 441 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,083 We've gotta keep our eye on the goals. 442 00:22:24,208 --> 00:22:24,958 Okay? 443 00:22:26,708 --> 00:22:29,833 The reality is, is no one should be living like this. 444 00:22:29,917 --> 00:22:30,958 - Yeah, I know. 445 00:22:32,708 --> 00:22:34,458 - We're gonna get this cleaned up. 446 00:22:35,292 --> 00:22:36,750 We'll work on all of it. 447 00:22:36,875 --> 00:22:38,500 - Okay. - Okay. 448 00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:41,250 I'm most concerned about how overwhelming 449 00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:44,042 this process is going to be for Destiny. 450 00:22:44,167 --> 00:22:47,167 This is gonna be an important part of her healing. 451 00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:48,708 It may be too soon for her, 452 00:22:48,833 --> 00:22:51,167 but we'll just have to wait and see. 453 00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:53,000 (piano music fades) 454 00:23:01,542 --> 00:23:04,167 - It's really important that we get this house cleaned up. 455 00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:06,833 I've been ready for years, 456 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,000 but this was too much for me to do by myself. 457 00:23:13,167 --> 00:23:15,542 - I think she knows at this point that if she doesn't, 458 00:23:15,708 --> 00:23:18,000 then there really isn't any other option. 459 00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:24,333 - The property manager is well aware of this situation. 460 00:23:24,458 --> 00:23:27,708 So we've got to figure out what the next steps are. 461 00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:29,375 To not only clean up the house, 462 00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:31,625 but to keep Destiny in the home. 463 00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:40,375 - Hey kiddo. 464 00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:42,417 I'm Dorothy. - Hi. 465 00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:43,958 Nice to meet you. 466 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:45,250 - I'm Dorothy Breininger, 467 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,292 I'm a professional organizing expert, 468 00:23:47,417 --> 00:23:49,000 and I specialize in hoarding. 469 00:23:49,125 --> 00:23:51,542 You two know each other, yes? - Hey Destiny. 470 00:23:51,667 --> 00:23:53,500 - Paige is the property manager 471 00:23:53,625 --> 00:23:56,167 and she hasn't been in the house in quite a few years. 472 00:23:56,292 --> 00:23:57,458 Thanks for letting us go in, okay? 473 00:23:57,542 --> 00:23:59,292 - Yeah, thank you Destiny. 474 00:23:59,375 --> 00:24:00,208 - [Dorothy] Okay. 475 00:24:00,375 --> 00:24:02,792 (eerie music) 476 00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:11,792 - Wow. 477 00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,500 - We're both just stunned. 478 00:24:16,875 --> 00:24:19,167 We just are staring around, like not saying a thing. 479 00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:26,500 - I'm at a loss for words, it's unbelievable. 480 00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:28,792 The additional items that are in here, 481 00:24:28,875 --> 00:24:31,292 the floor wasn't so covered here. 482 00:24:31,417 --> 00:24:32,750 These are all new. 483 00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:34,958 The last time I was in the house, 484 00:24:35,083 --> 00:24:39,083 I could walk into the front left living room. 485 00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:43,917 This time there were boxes and trash piled up so high 486 00:24:44,042 --> 00:24:46,542 that I could not even walk into that room. 487 00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:48,250 - [Dorothy] I don't think anybody's sitting in here. 488 00:24:48,375 --> 00:24:50,250 - [Paige] No, I don't either. 489 00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:51,500 - [Dorothy] Is this new? 490 00:24:51,625 --> 00:24:53,708 - All new, new piles, new stacks. 491 00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:56,708 - [Dorothy] It's just a trash can. 492 00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:58,667 - [Paige] That's unbelievable. 493 00:24:58,833 --> 00:25:00,958 - I'm looking at everything from my point of view, 494 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:04,500 which is how am I going to help the family? 495 00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:06,875 Paige has to look at it from her point of view, 496 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,500 which is how do I help and protect the homeowner? 497 00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,583 Like, do we evict or do we allow Destiny to stay? 498 00:25:13,708 --> 00:25:16,750 And if she stays, what needs to be done? 499 00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:23,500 - This is just, I don't know how to describe it. 500 00:25:25,542 --> 00:25:29,167 - [Dorothy] They just cook, and then it stays. 501 00:25:29,292 --> 00:25:31,000 - They just set it to the side. 502 00:25:31,083 --> 00:25:33,750 - [Dorothy] This is food from last year 503 00:25:36,542 --> 00:25:39,667 with roaches running around it. 504 00:25:39,792 --> 00:25:41,583 - That's disgusting. 505 00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:43,000 - [Dorothy] I'm so sorry. 506 00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:46,250 I mean, I'm sorry for them. - Yes. 507 00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,042 - And I'm sorry for your homeowner. 508 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,000 It's a sad situation. 509 00:25:51,125 --> 00:25:54,667 I want to be respectful, but the truth of the matter is 510 00:25:54,792 --> 00:25:57,667 the house is one of squalor. 511 00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:01,542 Let's go into the bathroom. 512 00:26:01,667 --> 00:26:03,500 I don't want you to come in too far. 513 00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:09,333 I don't know how to say this delicately. 514 00:26:09,458 --> 00:26:10,917 This is a biohazard. 515 00:26:12,375 --> 00:26:14,500 - The bathroom is nasty. 516 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:17,667 It's filled with toilet paper that's been used. 517 00:26:17,792 --> 00:26:19,958 It's stacked against the wall. 518 00:26:20,042 --> 00:26:23,292 - This is so completely unhealthy. 519 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,792 By the time we get to Destiny's room, 520 00:26:32,875 --> 00:26:34,917 it looks like you're at a garbage dump. 521 00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:37,500 I can't even tell it's a bedroom 522 00:26:37,625 --> 00:26:39,500 because there are all these plates of food. 523 00:26:39,583 --> 00:26:42,333 This is someone's bedroom. 524 00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:43,792 I'm devastated. 525 00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:46,042 This is where I feel the worst, 526 00:26:46,167 --> 00:26:50,167 not a sheet on this bed or on the pillow cases. 527 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:52,958 When we look at the side of the walls here. 528 00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:55,833 - [Paige] Is that the smell? 529 00:26:55,958 --> 00:26:58,000 - [Dorothy] They're terribly stained. 530 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,667 - I'm wearing a mask and the stench 531 00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,500 is even coming through my mask. 532 00:27:01,583 --> 00:27:03,208 I just don't... 533 00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:04,125 My heart. 534 00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:10,625 - And then we get into Gail's room 535 00:27:10,708 --> 00:27:12,917 (eerie music continues) 536 00:27:13,042 --> 00:27:15,333 and that's the space in which she was living, 537 00:27:15,458 --> 00:27:16,875 for the last 10 years. 538 00:27:18,208 --> 00:27:21,000 And all around her are cigarette ash trays. 539 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:25,000 - [Paige] Oh my goodness. 540 00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:28,125 - That's decades of dust, not years, that's decades. 541 00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:34,292 For me, I'm shaken by how incredibly sad this is. 542 00:27:36,708 --> 00:27:41,500 It just feels like there's been no movement in here. 543 00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:43,667 And if you look at the pillow, 544 00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:46,875 it's the one underneath is just brown from cigarettes. 545 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,167 But at this point, we need to go out and talk to Destiny. 546 00:27:52,708 --> 00:27:54,833 On behalf of the homeowner, what are you thinking? 547 00:27:54,958 --> 00:27:56,167 - On behalf of the homeowner? 548 00:27:56,292 --> 00:27:59,167 This is not how a tenant should maintain a house. 549 00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:00,000 It's not. 550 00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:02,167 There's no upkeep on the house. 551 00:28:04,125 --> 00:28:06,750 As property manager for this home 552 00:28:06,875 --> 00:28:09,500 and knowing Destiny and her family for many years, 553 00:28:09,583 --> 00:28:12,958 it's been tough seeing nothing get cleaned, 554 00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:14,917 and no advances made toward 555 00:28:15,042 --> 00:28:17,292 getting the house in the proper condition. 556 00:28:17,375 --> 00:28:19,000 (somber music) (door closes) 557 00:28:19,125 --> 00:28:21,292 Destiny, I'm a little bit overwhelmed. 558 00:28:21,375 --> 00:28:22,625 - Yeah. 559 00:28:22,750 --> 00:28:23,500 - A lot in there. 560 00:28:23,625 --> 00:28:24,417 - Yeah. 561 00:28:25,750 --> 00:28:26,500 That's how I feel every day. (laughs) 562 00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:27,917 - Yeah. - Yeah. 563 00:28:29,083 --> 00:28:32,583 - Before I can decide what we're going to do 564 00:28:32,708 --> 00:28:35,833 in terms of organizing and clearing out, 565 00:28:35,958 --> 00:28:38,250 I need to kind of know what you 566 00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:41,292 and the homeowner think of what you just saw. 567 00:28:42,875 --> 00:28:45,125 - I think the main thing I was seeing was the trash, 568 00:28:45,250 --> 00:28:48,000 the piles of trash need to be taken out. 569 00:28:48,125 --> 00:28:50,333 The discarded food items. - Yeah. 570 00:28:50,417 --> 00:28:51,917 - A lot of those. 571 00:28:52,042 --> 00:28:54,458 Anything that's excessive in there needs to be taken out. 572 00:28:55,792 --> 00:28:57,000 I do think that cleaning it out 573 00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,917 will take care of a lot of it, 574 00:28:59,042 --> 00:29:00,792 but this will help you get there. 575 00:29:01,625 --> 00:29:03,083 - Thank you for being gentle. 576 00:29:04,042 --> 00:29:06,083 Thank you for listening at a time where, 577 00:29:06,208 --> 00:29:08,833 how could you have all this on your mind 578 00:29:08,958 --> 00:29:11,500 when really the focus is on your mom? 579 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:12,875 - Yeah. 580 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,250 - And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about all of this. 581 00:29:16,958 --> 00:29:18,500 Basically Paige is saying, look, 582 00:29:18,583 --> 00:29:22,542 we've got to clear everything out of the house, everything. 583 00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:24,583 (dramatic music) 584 00:29:24,708 --> 00:29:28,667 And on top of that, the whole outside needs to be cleared. 585 00:29:28,750 --> 00:29:31,333 There are two sheds there. 586 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:33,083 There's a camper that's out there, 587 00:29:33,208 --> 00:29:35,958 all of the overgrowth outside. 588 00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:39,708 And we have an entire barn with eight horse stall 589 00:29:39,833 --> 00:29:41,000 or something in there. 590 00:29:41,083 --> 00:29:42,833 And it's just full of the family's stuff. 591 00:29:42,958 --> 00:29:45,958 We really need to do this for this family, 592 00:29:46,042 --> 00:29:48,167 but there's so much to do, 593 00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:51,625 just to bring this house up to a basic level 594 00:29:51,708 --> 00:29:54,625 of seeing whether or not she'll be evicted. 595 00:29:54,708 --> 00:29:55,875 (dramatic music fades) 596 00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:58,208 And that's the reality. 597 00:29:58,333 --> 00:29:59,208 (melancholy music) 598 00:29:59,333 --> 00:30:01,333 You're a beautiful, beautiful woman, 599 00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:03,667 who deserves something different 600 00:30:03,750 --> 00:30:05,875 than what has been happening. 601 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,458 And I'm sorry that it's been happening. 602 00:30:08,583 --> 00:30:10,167 Okay? - Yep. 603 00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:11,167 - Okay, okay. 604 00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:16,125 So we'll clear it, see what furniture you might wanna keep. 605 00:30:16,250 --> 00:30:19,333 We'll clean it, and then we'll go from there. 606 00:30:19,458 --> 00:30:20,542 - Okay. - Okay. 607 00:30:21,708 --> 00:30:23,292 Sorry if I'm being tough on you. 608 00:30:25,083 --> 00:30:26,625 - Sometimes tough is what's needed. 609 00:30:26,708 --> 00:30:27,458 - Yeah. 610 00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:55,833 - Good morning everybody. 611 00:30:55,958 --> 00:30:57,333 - [Everybody] Good morning. 612 00:30:57,458 --> 00:31:00,875 - Normally we are looking for lots of enthusiasm 613 00:31:01,042 --> 00:31:03,500 and excitement to start this next journey. 614 00:31:04,875 --> 00:31:07,042 We have some very unusual circumstances 615 00:31:07,208 --> 00:31:09,583 that occurred prior to our arrival, and of course, 616 00:31:09,708 --> 00:31:11,542 that was the death of Gail 617 00:31:11,667 --> 00:31:13,625 (melancholy music) 618 00:31:13,750 --> 00:31:15,500 who we were coming to help, 619 00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:17,375 in addition to you, Destiny. 620 00:31:18,542 --> 00:31:21,292 Dorothy and I do not have the words to convey 621 00:31:21,375 --> 00:31:23,042 what you're going through right now 622 00:31:23,208 --> 00:31:27,000 and to express our condolences for your losses. 623 00:31:27,083 --> 00:31:30,167 So I just really want to acknowledge that. 624 00:31:30,292 --> 00:31:34,000 I would like to just take a moment of silence 625 00:31:34,083 --> 00:31:35,500 in honor of Gail. 626 00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:45,250 Thank you everybody. 627 00:31:46,458 --> 00:31:48,792 Destiny, I'd like to start with you. 628 00:31:48,917 --> 00:31:50,500 How are you feeling right now? 629 00:31:51,667 --> 00:31:52,417 - I'm okay. 630 00:31:53,792 --> 00:31:56,833 Very sad, very excited. - Mm hmm. 631 00:31:57,292 --> 00:31:59,208 Ready to start. - Okay. 632 00:31:59,333 --> 00:32:04,250 All of you are incredibly brave to go through a clean out, 633 00:32:05,667 --> 00:32:07,958 given that you've had such a significant loss in your life 634 00:32:08,042 --> 00:32:10,083 within only a couple days. 635 00:32:10,208 --> 00:32:13,167 We are all here to support you in this process, 636 00:32:13,292 --> 00:32:18,000 and it can go as quickly or as slowly as you would like. 637 00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:21,000 And I know all of you are ready to roll up your sleeves 638 00:32:21,167 --> 00:32:25,583 and get this job done, but we do have a crisis here. 639 00:32:25,708 --> 00:32:28,208 So I know there's gonna be a lot of conversations 640 00:32:28,375 --> 00:32:30,708 about getting this house cleaned up 641 00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:32,917 and working with the family in terms of 642 00:32:33,042 --> 00:32:36,458 what can we do to support you to stay in this house? 643 00:32:38,417 --> 00:32:40,958 And that being said, I'm gonna turn it over to you, Dorothy. 644 00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:44,250 - Thanks Dr. Zasio, wow. 645 00:32:44,375 --> 00:32:46,250 The tears are flowing out there, huh? 646 00:32:46,375 --> 00:32:47,875 (group laughs) - Yes they are. 647 00:32:48,042 --> 00:32:51,458 - If you look around, there are 20 people here, 648 00:32:51,542 --> 00:32:54,167 ready for you Destiny and family members, 649 00:32:54,292 --> 00:32:57,042 standing in the rain, in the tears, 650 00:32:57,167 --> 00:32:58,833 ready to do what we need to do for you. 651 00:32:58,958 --> 00:32:59,875 - Thank you. - Thank you. 652 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,417 - Okay. 653 00:33:01,542 --> 00:33:04,792 I think the first thing I'd like to ask you as a family 654 00:33:04,875 --> 00:33:08,208 is how would you like us to behave? 655 00:33:08,333 --> 00:33:10,708 'Cause we usually joke around, 656 00:33:10,833 --> 00:33:14,542 you know, cheerleading, rah, rah, all that kinda stuff, 657 00:33:14,708 --> 00:33:16,417 and is that appropriate here? 658 00:33:16,542 --> 00:33:19,375 How would you like us to be for you? 659 00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:20,125 - We need that. 660 00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:21,708 - Yeah we need that, you be you. 661 00:33:22,708 --> 00:33:23,708 - Be us? - Yes. 662 00:33:23,875 --> 00:33:25,208 - And we'll be us. - Really? 663 00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:28,625 You also said your mom would like to hear some laughter. 664 00:33:28,708 --> 00:33:29,625 - She would. - Oh yeah. 665 00:33:29,750 --> 00:33:31,167 - She would be causing laughter. 666 00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:33,167 - She would be causing the laughter. 667 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:34,792 I know your mom would say something 668 00:33:34,875 --> 00:33:36,667 about the rain happening right now. 669 00:33:36,792 --> 00:33:38,000 - Yep, yep. 670 00:33:38,125 --> 00:33:40,042 - Do you know what she would say? 671 00:33:40,208 --> 00:33:42,250 - She said, "Ha ha, can you hear me now?" 672 00:33:42,375 --> 00:33:45,000 (group laughs) 673 00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:46,958 - Wanna take my stuff? 674 00:33:47,083 --> 00:33:47,792 Come and take it. 675 00:33:47,917 --> 00:33:50,500 (group laughs) 676 00:33:51,875 --> 00:33:54,500 - See, that's what I'm talking about. 677 00:33:54,625 --> 00:33:57,375 Okay, good, thanks for starting us off with that. 678 00:33:58,750 --> 00:34:03,125 We are going to, Destiny, help you with decision making. 679 00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,667 - Mm hmm. All right? 680 00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:08,333 The first thing that we wanna do is get all the trash out. 681 00:34:08,417 --> 00:34:09,958 That way you can get an idea 682 00:34:10,042 --> 00:34:12,708 of what has been piling up in there, 683 00:34:12,833 --> 00:34:15,542 but how do you feel about that? 684 00:34:15,667 --> 00:34:16,833 - I think that's good. 685 00:34:16,917 --> 00:34:17,708 - [Dorothy] You think that's good? 686 00:34:17,875 --> 00:34:19,000 - That's good. 687 00:34:19,125 --> 00:34:21,458 - You'll see it when it comes out, of course. 688 00:34:21,542 --> 00:34:23,458 That's the basic plan. 689 00:34:23,542 --> 00:34:27,667 The last question I have is, on behalf of your mother, 690 00:34:27,792 --> 00:34:31,125 is there anything that we should be looking for 691 00:34:31,250 --> 00:34:34,833 that's very important, as we go through the house? 692 00:34:34,958 --> 00:34:37,000 - I think most of us know the big items 693 00:34:37,083 --> 00:34:39,750 that she would want to keep, big furniture, 694 00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:41,792 any pictures that we find. 695 00:34:43,042 --> 00:34:44,125 - Got it. - I think we'd all like that. 696 00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:46,958 - My dad's wedding ring if it's in there. 697 00:34:47,042 --> 00:34:49,042 - Okay, got it. 698 00:34:49,167 --> 00:34:53,083 So, I hate to say this on the one hand, 699 00:34:53,208 --> 00:34:56,667 'cause we're under the tent, but team members, 700 00:34:56,792 --> 00:34:57,792 are you ready to go? 701 00:34:57,917 --> 00:34:59,083 Give me a thumbs up. 702 00:34:59,208 --> 00:35:01,042 (team cheers) (intense music) 703 00:35:01,208 --> 00:35:02,500 All right, let's go! 704 00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:03,708 Everybody out! 705 00:35:05,333 --> 00:35:06,583 All the way back up here. 706 00:35:08,792 --> 00:35:10,833 Everybody let's go. 707 00:35:10,958 --> 00:35:12,375 It's just one of those days, 708 00:35:12,542 --> 00:35:15,500 where it's not going very easy at all. 709 00:35:15,667 --> 00:35:17,208 We're behind the eight ball of course, 710 00:35:17,333 --> 00:35:19,458 because of the rain mostly, 711 00:35:20,708 --> 00:35:23,333 but it's okay, the team will not be deterred. 712 00:35:35,125 --> 00:35:37,125 And the process is simply to bring out 713 00:35:37,208 --> 00:35:38,708 all of the trash first. 714 00:35:38,875 --> 00:35:41,292 Nothing else, just the trash. 715 00:35:41,375 --> 00:35:43,167 (intense music ends) (trash clattering) 716 00:35:43,292 --> 00:35:46,167 The trash is just coming out barrels and barrels, 717 00:35:46,292 --> 00:35:49,250 and we're dumping it right onto a big tarp, 718 00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:52,458 so that the family and especially Destiny can see, 719 00:35:52,542 --> 00:35:55,292 what's in that trash just in case, 720 00:35:55,417 --> 00:35:57,417 before we get in into the dumpster. 721 00:35:57,542 --> 00:35:59,250 (slow music) 722 00:35:59,375 --> 00:36:03,125 And while we're starting to get that pile of trash going, 723 00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:05,250 Destiny's already over there picking out 724 00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:06,625 what she wants to keep. 725 00:36:06,708 --> 00:36:08,583 - Destiny, what are you trying to keep? 726 00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:10,667 - These are the pieces for the air fryer. 727 00:36:12,083 --> 00:36:13,333 The accessory. - This all can be replaced. 728 00:36:13,458 --> 00:36:15,292 - Are you gonna buy me a whole new air fryer- 729 00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:16,708 - Absolutely. - that's $150? 730 00:36:16,833 --> 00:36:18,167 - Absolutely, I will. 731 00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:20,125 I feel like it's my responsibility 732 00:36:20,250 --> 00:36:23,500 to really tell her what I think about a situation. 733 00:36:23,625 --> 00:36:25,833 If I think she should not hold onto something, 734 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,167 I'm gonna tell her. 735 00:36:27,292 --> 00:36:29,542 But ultimately the decision is hers. 736 00:36:31,542 --> 00:36:34,250 - I do. But it's your decision. 737 00:36:34,375 --> 00:36:36,500 This has been, it's been sitting. 738 00:36:41,208 --> 00:36:42,167 - I know. 739 00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:46,500 That's part of what we have to do right? 740 00:36:46,667 --> 00:36:49,667 To downsize, that's the ultimate goal, right? 741 00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:51,042 It's not gonna be easy. 742 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:54,167 'Cause we still have thousands of more decisions like that. 743 00:36:55,042 --> 00:36:56,500 Okay? 744 00:36:56,583 --> 00:36:59,292 (dramatic music) 745 00:37:00,875 --> 00:37:02,583 - How you doing kiddo? 746 00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:06,167 I know, I know. 747 00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:08,750 - It's just a lot. - It is. 748 00:37:08,875 --> 00:37:09,583 - That's all. 749 00:37:10,792 --> 00:37:13,333 - There's one concern that I have. 750 00:37:13,458 --> 00:37:17,042 Destiny is watching the trash come out of the rooms 751 00:37:17,167 --> 00:37:19,667 and the piles are going higher and higher 752 00:37:19,792 --> 00:37:22,042 and her eyes are just darting around like, 753 00:37:22,208 --> 00:37:23,375 I'm in total overwhelm. 754 00:37:23,500 --> 00:37:25,250 How do you feel about 755 00:37:25,375 --> 00:37:27,583 seeing everything coming out right now? 756 00:37:28,667 --> 00:37:29,667 - Oh. (laughs) 757 00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:32,625 - Destiny, what's going on? - Lot of emotions. 758 00:37:32,708 --> 00:37:34,750 - What are they? Can you name them for me? 759 00:37:36,042 --> 00:37:38,500 - Embarrassment, for one. - Okay. 760 00:37:38,625 --> 00:37:39,333 Trepidation. 761 00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:42,833 - What else is happening for our family? 762 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,417 What are you seeing, feeling? 763 00:37:44,542 --> 00:37:46,333 - That big ol' pile is overwhelming. 764 00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:47,750 - Yeah. - Yes. 765 00:37:47,875 --> 00:37:50,000 - And that's- - That's not even a whole... 766 00:37:50,125 --> 00:37:51,500 - [Dawn] No, that's not even a dent. 767 00:37:51,625 --> 00:37:54,708 - No, it felt like maybe a few piles, 768 00:37:54,833 --> 00:37:58,333 and that is not a few piles, that is a mountain. 769 00:37:58,458 --> 00:38:01,375 - If she's in overwhelm just with the trash, 770 00:38:01,542 --> 00:38:03,167 I can't imagine what's going to happen 771 00:38:03,292 --> 00:38:05,708 with everything else coming out. 772 00:38:05,833 --> 00:38:06,625 (dramatic music fades) 773 00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:22,333 My goal was to get at least two rooms clear today 774 00:38:22,458 --> 00:38:24,417 and we're actually on track, 775 00:38:24,542 --> 00:38:26,542 and now we're heading into the kitchen. 776 00:38:37,125 --> 00:38:39,292 - Hey, thank you. 777 00:38:39,375 --> 00:38:42,208 - We knew it was gonna be hard. 778 00:38:42,333 --> 00:38:44,792 You just never know how hard until you're in it. 779 00:38:44,875 --> 00:38:47,000 - We're here. We got you. 780 00:38:47,083 --> 00:38:48,792 - Do you see anything else? 781 00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:52,333 - As we are bringing stuff out of the kitchen, 782 00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:55,667 it's all the dirty dishes, all the dirty pots and pans, 783 00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:58,333 things that haven't been washed in eons 784 00:38:58,458 --> 00:39:00,958 and it's starting to pile up out there. 785 00:39:01,083 --> 00:39:03,167 - I need to find a specific plate, that's all. 786 00:39:03,333 --> 00:39:04,542 - For me it's like, no. 787 00:39:04,708 --> 00:39:05,417 No, no, no. 788 00:39:05,542 --> 00:39:07,208 No you don't want that. (laughs) 789 00:39:07,333 --> 00:39:09,500 Please don't want that. 790 00:39:09,625 --> 00:39:11,917 So before you go digging in here - Mm hmm. 791 00:39:12,042 --> 00:39:14,333 and I know that I think you see something in here, 792 00:39:14,458 --> 00:39:16,208 - Mm hmm. right? 793 00:39:16,375 --> 00:39:17,375 You want the plate. 794 00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:20,125 - But these, a lot of the dirty... 795 00:39:20,250 --> 00:39:21,000 Most... 796 00:39:22,875 --> 00:39:24,250 (slow dramatic music) 797 00:39:24,375 --> 00:39:25,667 - Breathe, it's all okay. - Hey, take your time. 798 00:39:25,833 --> 00:39:29,292 - I do wanna look through them so that I see them going. 799 00:39:29,375 --> 00:39:31,458 So that I can say okay, yes. 800 00:39:31,542 --> 00:39:32,875 For everything 'cause- 801 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,833 - Okay, so I'm gonna gently lay them out here. 802 00:39:35,917 --> 00:39:36,917 - Mm hmm. 803 00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:38,833 It's gonna, you know, make a little bit of noise. 804 00:39:38,958 --> 00:39:39,750 (dishes clattering) 805 00:39:39,875 --> 00:39:41,167 - Oh. - You okay? 806 00:39:41,333 --> 00:39:43,167 - Yeah. - Can I go further? 807 00:39:43,292 --> 00:39:44,125 - Yes. 808 00:39:45,167 --> 00:39:45,958 Oh. 809 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:48,000 (dishes clattering) 810 00:39:48,125 --> 00:39:50,417 Oh, she would be so mad about that one in particular. 811 00:39:50,542 --> 00:39:53,917 You see this bowl here, it is so easy to clean. 812 00:39:54,042 --> 00:39:55,167 Those were mamas. 813 00:39:55,292 --> 00:39:56,417 - Well, can I ask you a question? 814 00:39:56,542 --> 00:40:00,333 When was the last time this one was clean? 815 00:40:00,458 --> 00:40:01,708 - [Destiny] Oh. 816 00:40:03,042 --> 00:40:04,125 I don't know. 817 00:40:04,250 --> 00:40:05,833 - Let's just say this Roddy for what. 818 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,792 If that's the one plate that you're going to keep- 819 00:40:08,917 --> 00:40:09,917 - That's great. 820 00:40:10,042 --> 00:40:11,417 - Out of all these? - Out of all of this, 821 00:40:11,542 --> 00:40:13,458 that's a fair compromise, wouldn't you say? 822 00:40:13,542 --> 00:40:15,000 - Yes, absolutely. 823 00:40:15,083 --> 00:40:16,375 - 'Cause actually there's a lot of them that I want to keep, 824 00:40:16,542 --> 00:40:17,750 but I shouldn't. - Right. 825 00:40:17,875 --> 00:40:19,792 - But this one is, it means a lot to me. 826 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:20,833 - Okay. 827 00:40:20,917 --> 00:40:22,750 - So. - So that- 828 00:40:22,875 --> 00:40:25,500 - Some of these, I would like specific ones like this, 829 00:40:25,583 --> 00:40:28,500 if you would take pictures of them with us, 830 00:40:28,625 --> 00:40:29,792 we could let them go that way. 831 00:40:29,875 --> 00:40:31,458 - Perhaps she could throw it out, 832 00:40:31,542 --> 00:40:33,542 but still keep the memory associated with the item. 833 00:40:33,708 --> 00:40:34,875 - I still want the other plate though. 834 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,583 - Okay, so grab that one. 835 00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,000 We're doing a nice balance here, Destiny. 836 00:40:41,083 --> 00:40:42,542 You picked out a few 837 00:40:42,708 --> 00:40:44,417 and then in the background of your mind, 838 00:40:44,542 --> 00:40:45,958 I also want you to remember, 839 00:40:46,042 --> 00:40:49,500 we've got 20 people waiting to bring stuff out of the house. 840 00:40:49,625 --> 00:40:51,417 So can we move ahead? - We done backed 'em up. 841 00:40:51,542 --> 00:40:52,625 - Yep, all right. - Yep. 842 00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:53,958 - All right, give her a round of applause. 843 00:40:54,042 --> 00:40:54,958 (team cheers and applauds) 844 00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:56,500 Okay. 845 00:40:56,625 --> 00:40:57,583 - And I'll bring this one back after the picture. 846 00:40:57,708 --> 00:41:00,667 - Okay, all right, take the pictures, on we go. 847 00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,417 So we kept two dirty dishes. 848 00:41:02,542 --> 00:41:05,042 Not bad considering we had bins full. 849 00:41:05,167 --> 00:41:06,375 - And this way, like I said, 850 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:07,958 you can get rid of it, but still hold on- 851 00:41:08,042 --> 00:41:09,583 - Still have the memories. - to the memories. 852 00:41:09,708 --> 00:41:11,292 - [Dawn] Yep, You good? 853 00:41:11,417 --> 00:41:12,833 - You ready? - Oh yeah. 854 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:13,958 - [Dawn] You got this. 855 00:41:14,042 --> 00:41:16,667 (intense music) 856 00:41:19,042 --> 00:41:19,500 (dishes clatter) 857 00:41:19,667 --> 00:41:21,000 - Heck yeah. (laughs) 858 00:41:21,167 --> 00:41:24,042 (everyone applauds) 859 00:41:26,042 --> 00:41:27,333 Okay. 860 00:41:27,458 --> 00:41:28,250 - [Dorothy] You doing okay? 861 00:41:28,375 --> 00:41:29,542 - Yep, I'm doing good. 862 00:41:29,667 --> 00:41:31,000 - You're doing good? (group laughs) 863 00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:33,625 Whoa, well that was cathartic for you then, right? 864 00:41:33,708 --> 00:41:34,875 - Yes. - I haven't heard you 865 00:41:35,042 --> 00:41:37,833 that strong since I met you, wow. 866 00:41:37,917 --> 00:41:40,875 - I do want to pick up that sugar canister and throw it. 867 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:42,417 - [Doug] Oh. 868 00:41:42,542 --> 00:41:43,208 - This one over here? - Like throw it, throw it? 869 00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:44,750 - Throw it into the pile. 870 00:41:44,875 --> 00:41:45,917 - Okay. - We'll get it. 871 00:41:46,042 --> 00:41:47,125 - Do it. - Go ahead. 872 00:41:47,250 --> 00:41:48,542 - Do it, do it. - Make it happen! 873 00:41:48,667 --> 00:41:50,792 - [Destiny] I wanted to throw that thing away for years. 874 00:41:50,875 --> 00:41:53,458 - Everybody ready? - Yes! 875 00:41:53,542 --> 00:41:56,125 (group cheers) 876 00:41:57,500 --> 00:41:59,333 - Excellent, excellent. 877 00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:01,500 All right, look at your sister. 878 00:42:01,583 --> 00:42:03,667 What are you feeling about that? 879 00:42:03,750 --> 00:42:04,833 Dawn? - I'm feeling so proud. 880 00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:07,917 - Tell your sister. - So, so proud of you. 881 00:42:08,042 --> 00:42:09,500 (Destiny sighs) 882 00:42:09,625 --> 00:42:10,833 - You got this. - Yeah. 883 00:42:11,750 --> 00:42:12,833 - You got it. - Yeah. 884 00:42:12,917 --> 00:42:14,667 - You got all of us here. - Yep. 885 00:42:14,750 --> 00:42:18,000 - That was just a huge moment for not just her, 886 00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:21,000 but for the rest of us, because she is choosing 887 00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:25,583 to take a picture, hold the memory and get rid of the stuff. 888 00:42:29,375 --> 00:42:31,833 (intense music) 889 00:42:40,542 --> 00:42:41,833 (chattering) 890 00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:48,000 - Okay, family, all of this trash 891 00:42:48,125 --> 00:42:51,208 came out of the living room and the kitchen. 892 00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:53,667 There are six other rooms - Mmm. 893 00:42:53,792 --> 00:42:56,000 that still have trash. 894 00:42:56,125 --> 00:42:58,417 So I just wanna have you take a look and see 895 00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:00,750 the volume that's here. 896 00:43:01,708 --> 00:43:03,583 What I want to do here is 897 00:43:03,708 --> 00:43:08,167 have my team get it onto the dumpster. 898 00:43:08,292 --> 00:43:09,167 - Yeah. 899 00:43:09,292 --> 00:43:10,667 - That being said, Destiny, 900 00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:15,667 I think it is important that you assist Dorothy's team 901 00:43:17,042 --> 00:43:19,167 in getting this stuff into the trash cans 902 00:43:19,292 --> 00:43:20,667 and into the dumpster. 903 00:43:20,750 --> 00:43:23,833 We want you to be a part of this process, so that, 904 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,083 that is ingrained in your head that you never wanna go back. 905 00:43:28,292 --> 00:43:30,000 Are you willing to do that? 906 00:43:30,167 --> 00:43:31,417 - Yeah. - Okay. 907 00:43:31,542 --> 00:43:34,292 (dramatic music) 908 00:43:36,958 --> 00:43:37,708 - 1, 2, 3. 909 00:43:41,792 --> 00:43:45,750 Now that we have a 20 by 20 tent out back, 910 00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:47,833 we don't have to worry so much about the rain, 911 00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:50,333 so we can start clearing out the dining room 912 00:43:50,458 --> 00:43:51,792 and the rest of the kitchen. 913 00:43:53,750 --> 00:43:55,917 Come on into the living room, okay? 914 00:43:56,042 --> 00:43:58,833 We have all the trash out of the living room. 915 00:43:58,917 --> 00:44:01,500 Now it's time for the family to come in. 916 00:44:01,625 --> 00:44:05,167 This is where Gail had all her decorative items, 917 00:44:05,250 --> 00:44:08,417 and this is where they need to make choices. 918 00:44:08,542 --> 00:44:10,500 If we all just look at 919 00:44:10,625 --> 00:44:13,917 what's over here on this entertainment center, 920 00:44:14,042 --> 00:44:16,458 this is gonna be for you to decide, 921 00:44:16,542 --> 00:44:20,667 how much do you as a family want to keep, 922 00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,833 I'm gonna leave the three of you, 923 00:44:22,917 --> 00:44:25,333 to make some decisions and do some work in here, 924 00:44:25,458 --> 00:44:26,583 just the three of you. 925 00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:28,083 - Okay. - Okay? 926 00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:30,333 - Let's get all the pictures. - Start with pictures. 927 00:44:30,458 --> 00:44:31,667 All right. 928 00:44:31,792 --> 00:44:32,667 - I don't wanna push them the way 929 00:44:32,750 --> 00:44:34,667 I normally would push someone, 930 00:44:34,833 --> 00:44:36,833 but there's just too much to keep. 931 00:44:36,958 --> 00:44:39,500 - Oh mom, I'm so sorry, I love you so much, 932 00:44:39,583 --> 00:44:41,333 but you had so much (beep). 933 00:44:41,458 --> 00:44:43,500 (lighthearted music) 934 00:44:43,583 --> 00:44:45,167 - I want this doll it was Melody's. 935 00:44:46,375 --> 00:44:47,542 Yep, I want that. 936 00:44:47,667 --> 00:44:49,125 I wanna keep this horn. 937 00:44:49,208 --> 00:44:51,542 And see I want this, because it's pretty. 938 00:44:51,708 --> 00:44:55,292 - I can see that Destiny has that tendency 939 00:44:55,375 --> 00:44:56,792 for continuing to keep. 940 00:44:56,917 --> 00:44:58,667 - I want to keep everything. 941 00:44:58,792 --> 00:45:00,167 - [Dorothy] Of course, of course. 942 00:45:00,250 --> 00:45:02,750 But with the coaching of Roddy and Dawn, 943 00:45:02,875 --> 00:45:04,833 she's letting it go. 944 00:45:04,917 --> 00:45:06,292 - That's good, but you're also saying 945 00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:07,583 "I want, I want, I want." 946 00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:09,708 - Yeah, I know. - So we need to pare it down. 947 00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:13,000 - And also what we wanna look at is, 948 00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:16,167 we have the whole house to do, right? 949 00:45:16,333 --> 00:45:17,083 - Yeah. 950 00:45:18,542 --> 00:45:19,542 - Oh (beep) - Oh, Lord. 951 00:45:19,708 --> 00:45:21,000 - All of that can go, for sure. 952 00:45:21,083 --> 00:45:22,625 - Yep, yep. - And that. 953 00:45:22,750 --> 00:45:24,792 - [Dawn] Which is why I was asking. 954 00:45:31,875 --> 00:45:33,208 (lighthearted music fades) 955 00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:35,875 - It was to my understanding that y'all were looking for 956 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,417 a men's ring throughout this process, 957 00:45:39,542 --> 00:45:41,667 I'm not sure if this is the one you were looking for, 958 00:45:41,792 --> 00:45:44,333 but I did find this one while we were cleaning. 959 00:45:46,292 --> 00:45:48,167 - That's it. That's it. - That's his ring. 960 00:45:48,292 --> 00:45:49,208 (emotional music) 961 00:45:49,333 --> 00:45:51,167 - Thank you. Thank you. 962 00:45:51,292 --> 00:45:52,708 - You're very welcome. 963 00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:56,083 (Dawn crying) 964 00:46:00,875 --> 00:46:04,875 - We have a family that's grieving, not just for Gail. 965 00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:07,292 But for all the things in the house. 966 00:46:07,375 --> 00:46:10,250 - Daddy's ring and I have mama's ring already. 967 00:46:10,375 --> 00:46:12,375 And I'll put 'em together. 968 00:46:14,542 --> 00:46:17,083 (Dawn crying) 969 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:28,167 - I have hoarded this home with my mother for 20 years. 970 00:46:28,333 --> 00:46:31,000 - It is completely packed with trash. 971 00:46:32,917 --> 00:46:35,750 - The house is one of squalor. 972 00:46:41,042 --> 00:46:42,875 - Not cleaning up is not an option, 973 00:46:43,958 --> 00:46:45,667 but I think it's gonna be harder on her 974 00:46:45,750 --> 00:46:47,750 than she thinks that it is. 975 00:46:47,875 --> 00:46:49,333 - Oh. - You okay? 976 00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:51,750 - [Destiny] I need to find a specific plate, that's all. 977 00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:57,167 - How you doing kiddo? 978 00:46:57,250 --> 00:46:58,583 I know. I know. 979 00:46:59,542 --> 00:47:02,125 - We have a family that's grieving, not just for Gail, 980 00:47:02,250 --> 00:47:04,542 but for all the things in the house. 981 00:47:04,708 --> 00:47:06,333 - That's his ring. - That's it. 982 00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:08,042 (Dawn crying) 983 00:47:08,792 --> 00:47:11,417 (intense music) 984 00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:32,333 - It's pretty remarkable that Destiny is letting go 985 00:47:32,458 --> 00:47:34,000 of as much as she is, 986 00:47:34,083 --> 00:47:36,042 and most of it is going to trash. 987 00:47:37,417 --> 00:47:41,542 Yesterday we had two dumpsters come in, we filled 'em up, 988 00:47:41,667 --> 00:47:44,958 we rotated them out, had new dumpsters come in again today. 989 00:47:45,042 --> 00:47:48,500 And I just hope that it continues to go like this. 990 00:47:51,542 --> 00:47:52,542 All right. 991 00:47:52,708 --> 00:47:53,833 Good morning family. 992 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,333 - [Everybody] Good morning. 993 00:47:55,458 --> 00:47:57,292 - Dr. Zasio, good morning. - Good morning, yes. 994 00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:59,083 - How are you? 995 00:47:59,208 --> 00:48:00,167 Destiny? 996 00:48:00,250 --> 00:48:01,000 How you doing? 997 00:48:01,125 --> 00:48:02,542 - Feeling a lot better today. 998 00:48:02,667 --> 00:48:03,917 - Yeah? - Ready. 999 00:48:04,042 --> 00:48:05,000 - You're ready? - Ready. 1000 00:48:05,167 --> 00:48:06,708 - You did a great job yesterday. 1001 00:48:06,875 --> 00:48:07,833 - Yeah, you did. - Yes. 1002 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,333 - Right? - Absolutely. 1003 00:48:09,458 --> 00:48:11,833 What's causing you to feel better today, Destiny? 1004 00:48:12,958 --> 00:48:14,292 - The world didn't end. (laughs) 1005 00:48:14,417 --> 00:48:15,083 - It did not. 1006 00:48:15,208 --> 00:48:18,000 - So, I know it's gonna be okay. 1007 00:48:18,792 --> 00:48:20,208 - Yeah. 1008 00:48:20,333 --> 00:48:22,958 - Well I hope that there's a new sense of freedom 1009 00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:25,833 that is coming with the purging of the stuff. 1010 00:48:25,958 --> 00:48:27,417 - Yeah. 1011 00:48:27,542 --> 00:48:30,125 - And we had a very, very successful day yesterday. 1012 00:48:30,208 --> 00:48:31,458 - Mm hmm. 1013 00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:34,667 All of you did an amazing job in making the decisions 1014 00:48:34,792 --> 00:48:37,208 and just facing what you had to do, 1015 00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:39,500 in spite of having just lost your mama. 1016 00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:40,833 (melancholy music) 1017 00:48:40,958 --> 00:48:41,875 - Yeah. 1018 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,792 - So today we have a new plan, 1019 00:48:44,875 --> 00:48:48,250 and that's to, first of all, 1020 00:48:48,375 --> 00:48:50,625 get to the sorting that we have outside, 1021 00:48:50,708 --> 00:48:51,542 - Mm hmm. all right. 1022 00:48:52,917 --> 00:48:54,167 Make the decisions so we have room again 1023 00:48:54,292 --> 00:48:57,000 to bring more things out, all right? 1024 00:48:57,125 --> 00:49:00,333 We'll be building boxes, labeling some boxes 1025 00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:01,833 for things that you do wanna keep 1026 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,208 because Destiny we're going into your room. 1027 00:49:04,375 --> 00:49:04,833 - Oh. (laughs) 1028 00:49:04,958 --> 00:49:06,042 - Right? 1029 00:49:06,208 --> 00:49:09,417 So we'll head in, simply down the hallway, 1030 00:49:09,542 --> 00:49:14,042 bathroom, Destiny's room, and then finally that back room. 1031 00:49:14,167 --> 00:49:16,542 And I think there's a little bit here up front too. 1032 00:49:16,667 --> 00:49:19,000 So there's so much to do. 1033 00:49:19,125 --> 00:49:20,958 Are you all ready to do that this morning, 1034 00:49:21,042 --> 00:49:21,833 decision making? - Yes we are. 1035 00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:22,792 - Yep. - Absolutely. 1036 00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:25,167 - Okay, come on. 1037 00:49:25,292 --> 00:49:28,667 - [Worker] Just tape the boxes and put 'em down there. 1038 00:49:28,792 --> 00:49:31,417 - My plan for today is, first of all, 1039 00:49:31,542 --> 00:49:34,458 reviewing everything that came out of the house yesterday 1040 00:49:34,542 --> 00:49:36,125 that's under the tent. 1041 00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:38,292 What we're gonna do to start us off, 1042 00:49:38,375 --> 00:49:40,542 we're gonna show you a few pieces 1043 00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:43,708 and you're gonna say keep or toss, like that. 1044 00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:46,833 And then in a few minutes, you all can start coming in 1045 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,667 and making decisions on your own 1046 00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:52,125 while we go back inside the house and continue, okay? 1047 00:49:52,208 --> 00:49:55,250 So I'll start with this one. 1048 00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:57,125 - So I don't want anything on it. 1049 00:49:57,250 --> 00:49:58,667 - And what about the piece itself? 1050 00:49:58,833 --> 00:49:59,917 - I want the piece. 1051 00:50:00,042 --> 00:50:01,458 - Okay. Got it. 1052 00:50:01,542 --> 00:50:03,333 So I'm gonna go this way and the next person comes. 1053 00:50:04,542 --> 00:50:06,333 - I don't want any of that. - No. 1054 00:50:08,708 --> 00:50:09,875 - No. - No. 1055 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,750 - [Dawn] It probably doesn't work. 1056 00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:13,208 - [Destiny] No, neither one. 1057 00:50:14,542 --> 00:50:15,292 - No. - No. 1058 00:50:15,417 --> 00:50:17,250 - The family is doing fantastic. 1059 00:50:17,375 --> 00:50:19,958 They're making the decisions as we pass by 1060 00:50:20,042 --> 00:50:21,958 and they're looking out for each other. 1061 00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:24,875 It's like, "Hey, this is yours. Do you want it?" 1062 00:50:25,042 --> 00:50:26,500 - I don't want it, but. - No. 1063 00:50:27,708 --> 00:50:28,625 Yes, keep. 1064 00:50:28,708 --> 00:50:29,458 - [Worker] You wanna keep both? 1065 00:50:29,583 --> 00:50:31,000 - Yes. - Okay, perfect. 1066 00:50:31,167 --> 00:50:32,500 - [Doug] Is that dad's tackle box? 1067 00:50:32,625 --> 00:50:35,000 - If you wanna go through it later, you can say, 1068 00:50:35,125 --> 00:50:36,000 keep to look through it. 1069 00:50:36,125 --> 00:50:37,458 - Keep. - Okay. 1070 00:50:37,583 --> 00:50:39,292 - Yes, absolutely. 1071 00:50:39,417 --> 00:50:42,250 - [Dawn] And Doug, you can have it. 1072 00:50:49,958 --> 00:50:52,667 (uplifting music) 1073 00:50:57,250 --> 00:50:58,167 - Yes. - Yeah. 1074 00:50:58,250 --> 00:51:00,000 - Keep, keep, oh my God, keep. 1075 00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:02,000 It is a definitely a keep. - You got it. 1076 00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:03,667 - Oh. - Oh! 1077 00:51:03,792 --> 00:51:05,208 I had been looking for this one. 1078 00:51:05,375 --> 00:51:06,167 - [Worker] There's another piece in there. 1079 00:51:06,292 --> 00:51:07,167 - There's another one in there. 1080 00:51:07,292 --> 00:51:09,208 - Yep, definitely keeping this. 1081 00:51:09,333 --> 00:51:11,458 - Doug, I pulled this one for you. 1082 00:51:11,583 --> 00:51:14,167 (Destiny laughs) 1083 00:51:18,750 --> 00:51:19,958 - Was that dad's? - Yeah. 1084 00:51:20,042 --> 00:51:22,125 (emotional music) 1085 00:51:22,208 --> 00:51:24,167 - Doug is really getting emotional, 1086 00:51:24,250 --> 00:51:27,333 because he doesn't have much from his dad. 1087 00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:29,792 He thought that one of the model ships 1088 00:51:29,875 --> 00:51:31,333 might have been tossed. 1089 00:51:31,417 --> 00:51:35,000 So I knew anything like that from his dad particularly 1090 00:51:35,083 --> 00:51:36,708 is something that Doug would want. 1091 00:51:39,125 --> 00:51:40,042 - I'm good. 1092 00:51:40,958 --> 00:51:42,000 Thank you. 1093 00:51:42,125 --> 00:51:43,125 - Did we get it right? - Yes ma'am. 1094 00:51:43,250 --> 00:51:44,500 - We know what you're looking for now, 1095 00:51:44,667 --> 00:51:46,208 don't we? - Yes ma'am. 1096 00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:48,208 Thank you. - You're welcome. 1097 00:51:48,375 --> 00:51:50,250 That's keep. - It's a keep. 1098 00:51:50,375 --> 00:51:52,125 It means so much to him. 1099 00:51:52,250 --> 00:51:54,333 Even the smallest thing, like a boat 1100 00:51:54,500 --> 00:51:56,833 in the middle of a massive hoard 1101 00:51:56,958 --> 00:51:59,333 is going to trigger something in Doug 1102 00:51:59,500 --> 00:52:02,708 because he too is a hoarder. 1103 00:52:02,833 --> 00:52:04,333 - [Heather] What's wrong? 1104 00:52:04,417 --> 00:52:07,750 - I want to keep so much of this and we don't have room. 1105 00:52:08,708 --> 00:52:10,708 - You can keep some stuff. 1106 00:52:11,875 --> 00:52:12,750 You okay? 1107 00:52:13,833 --> 00:52:15,625 Just breathe, okay? 1108 00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:19,333 - I've been trying to keep it together this entire time. 1109 00:52:21,042 --> 00:52:23,250 Kind of lost it a little bit a few times. 1110 00:52:23,375 --> 00:52:26,333 You know, seeing all these things go is bittersweet. 1111 00:52:26,417 --> 00:52:28,167 I don't want to let those things go. 1112 00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:30,417 I didn't want to see 'em get thrown away. 1113 00:52:30,542 --> 00:52:31,250 Breaks my heart. 1114 00:52:32,417 --> 00:52:35,125 - Hey, Douglas, what's going on? 1115 00:52:35,208 --> 00:52:37,917 - I want to keep so much of this, 1116 00:52:38,042 --> 00:52:39,583 but we just don't have room for it. 1117 00:52:39,708 --> 00:52:42,000 There's a lot of memories surrounding those items. 1118 00:52:42,167 --> 00:52:45,917 - So it's sentimental for you. 1119 00:52:46,042 --> 00:52:47,458 - We have a small apartment in Mississippi, 1120 00:52:47,583 --> 00:52:49,333 so we don't have enough room for it. 1121 00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:50,958 And I have hoarding tendencies myself. 1122 00:52:51,042 --> 00:52:52,167 - Mm. 1123 00:52:52,292 --> 00:52:54,917 She's been helping me a lot with that. 1124 00:52:55,042 --> 00:52:56,875 - It's great that you've got this insight 1125 00:52:57,042 --> 00:52:58,375 and you're trying to keep it manageable 1126 00:52:58,542 --> 00:53:00,917 because it can run in families. 1127 00:53:01,042 --> 00:53:03,333 You know, it's the nature versus nurture. 1128 00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:06,583 And it sounds like you kind of have both. 1129 00:53:06,708 --> 00:53:09,167 - It's just hard to let these things go. 1130 00:53:09,250 --> 00:53:11,458 - I understand. I understand. 1131 00:53:11,583 --> 00:53:12,333 - Hey bud. 1132 00:53:12,458 --> 00:53:13,667 - Doing okay? - Yeah, man. 1133 00:53:15,375 --> 00:53:17,542 Just hard to let some of the stuff go, you know? 1134 00:53:17,667 --> 00:53:18,917 - Yeah. 1135 00:53:19,042 --> 00:53:22,583 No, like I said to Destiny, items trigger memories, 1136 00:53:22,708 --> 00:53:24,875 and it's the memories that we want, not the things. 1137 00:53:25,042 --> 00:53:26,375 - Yeah. - You know. 1138 00:53:26,542 --> 00:53:28,542 That's why we're taking pictures as much as we can 1139 00:53:28,667 --> 00:53:31,625 - Mm hmm. because none of us have room. 1140 00:53:31,708 --> 00:53:32,375 - Yeah. 1141 00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:33,708 - Destiny's not gonna have room 1142 00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:36,375 and it's not gonna bring either of them back. 1143 00:53:36,542 --> 00:53:38,167 - And honestly the memories are not gonna go away 1144 00:53:38,333 --> 00:53:39,500 just because the items are gone. 1145 00:53:39,625 --> 00:53:42,208 Y'all are still gonna remember those things. 1146 00:53:42,333 --> 00:53:44,583 - So we're not gonna lose anything. 1147 00:53:45,542 --> 00:53:46,833 All right? 1148 00:53:46,958 --> 00:53:48,792 We're here for you if you need anything, okay? 1149 00:53:48,875 --> 00:53:50,833 - Thanks little brother. 1150 00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:52,333 - Doug is really struggling. 1151 00:53:52,417 --> 00:53:56,292 He has a lot of sentimental connections to this stuff 1152 00:53:56,417 --> 00:53:59,833 and I'm worried that he could start to hold onto stuff 1153 00:53:59,958 --> 00:54:01,583 that would slow up the process. 1154 00:54:02,750 --> 00:54:04,875 - I love you. - I love you more. 1155 00:54:15,417 --> 00:54:16,667 - I'm trying to make sure there's no pictures in it. 1156 00:54:16,792 --> 00:54:19,500 - Yeah. - We just found two pictures. 1157 00:54:19,583 --> 00:54:21,917 - [Worker] So what we got here is all the kitchen stuff. 1158 00:54:22,042 --> 00:54:23,833 - I don't even know what this is. 1159 00:54:23,958 --> 00:54:25,958 - [Heather] Hey baby, are you okay over there? 1160 00:54:26,042 --> 00:54:27,833 - [Doug] I'm good. 1161 00:54:27,917 --> 00:54:29,500 Baby? - Heather. 1162 00:54:29,667 --> 00:54:31,000 - [Doug] Baby? 1163 00:54:31,167 --> 00:54:32,708 - We don't have room for it, baby. 1164 00:54:36,708 --> 00:54:40,167 - So we get through everything underneath the tent, 1165 00:54:40,292 --> 00:54:42,667 now there's more in the front. 1166 00:54:42,792 --> 00:54:46,708 And the family now needs to go through two massive piles 1167 00:54:46,833 --> 00:54:49,583 and make decisions because the rest of the day, 1168 00:54:49,708 --> 00:54:51,917 we need to focus on all the other rooms. 1169 00:54:53,250 --> 00:54:54,417 (energetic music fades) 1170 00:54:54,542 --> 00:54:57,000 Family members, have at it. Okay? 1171 00:54:57,083 --> 00:54:58,375 (upbeat music) 1172 00:54:58,500 --> 00:54:59,375 - [Roddy] This is trash. 1173 00:54:59,500 --> 00:55:01,375 - I think this can go. 1174 00:55:02,750 --> 00:55:05,500 - [Roddy] Why? Why did you keep all these socks? 1175 00:55:06,208 --> 00:55:07,167 - Trash. 1176 00:55:07,292 --> 00:55:09,042 - This whole box can go. 1177 00:55:09,167 --> 00:55:10,542 - Destiny's doing well. 1178 00:55:10,667 --> 00:55:12,583 The rest of the family's doing well. 1179 00:55:12,708 --> 00:55:16,375 This totally speaks to how this family is pulling together, 1180 00:55:16,542 --> 00:55:17,833 making decisions. 1181 00:55:17,958 --> 00:55:20,208 - [Dawn] Do you wanna keep the photo album thing? 1182 00:55:20,333 --> 00:55:21,167 - No. - All right. 1183 00:55:21,250 --> 00:55:22,333 - The initiative is there, 1184 00:55:22,417 --> 00:55:24,667 this family wants this to be done. 1185 00:55:26,042 --> 00:55:27,500 - All that's trash? - Yeah. 1186 00:55:37,333 --> 00:55:39,792 - Okay, here's why I'm especially glad 1187 00:55:39,875 --> 00:55:40,833 that you're here. 1188 00:55:42,542 --> 00:55:44,792 You know, I know we need to go into the bathroom next. 1189 00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,042 I know you have all your hazmat material, 1190 00:55:47,167 --> 00:55:48,667 your biohazard material. 1191 00:55:48,750 --> 00:55:50,583 And I understand none of this can go 1192 00:55:50,708 --> 00:55:52,708 in the dumpsters, correct? 1193 00:55:52,833 --> 00:55:54,333 - Correct, they have to be transported 1194 00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:56,708 to an offsite facility to be discarded. 1195 00:55:56,833 --> 00:55:59,042 - Okay so, if you can make that happen 1196 00:55:59,167 --> 00:56:00,375 once you're done with that, 1197 00:56:00,542 --> 00:56:02,583 then we can move on to the next room. 1198 00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,333 - All right, sounds good. - Okay. All right. 1199 00:56:04,417 --> 00:56:06,083 Good luck, thank you so much. 1200 00:56:06,208 --> 00:56:07,667 (intense music) 1201 00:56:07,833 --> 00:56:11,458 This is super delicate, I don't want to embarrass Destiny. 1202 00:56:14,708 --> 00:56:16,458 I don't wanna put it out there for the world, 1203 00:56:16,542 --> 00:56:21,750 but on the other hand, Destiny needs to understand 1204 00:56:22,667 --> 00:56:24,708 there's no getting around this. 1205 00:56:26,792 --> 00:56:30,333 A pile of all of this biohazardous material. 1206 00:56:30,458 --> 00:56:32,125 So I need to have sterile clean come in 1207 00:56:32,250 --> 00:56:34,333 and pick up all of that waste. 1208 00:56:34,500 --> 00:56:36,625 This is human waste. 1209 00:56:36,750 --> 00:56:38,167 It's a shame. 1210 00:56:38,292 --> 00:56:41,458 I want her to learn, this is not okay. 1211 00:56:44,083 --> 00:56:47,125 (inspiration music) 1212 00:56:47,250 --> 00:56:49,250 The family was so participative. 1213 00:56:49,375 --> 00:56:51,042 - At least- - Destiny? 1214 00:56:51,167 --> 00:56:53,000 Toss? - Yeah toss. 1215 00:56:53,125 --> 00:56:54,333 - They were keeping up with us, 1216 00:56:54,417 --> 00:56:56,292 like, as soon as we were getting it out, 1217 00:56:56,417 --> 00:56:57,542 they were sorting through it. 1218 00:56:57,667 --> 00:56:59,583 I've really never had this kind of experience 1219 00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:02,333 where the family was keeping up with us. 1220 00:57:02,417 --> 00:57:04,917 - This is another box for Destiny to go through. 1221 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,417 - Everything that's coming out of the house 1222 00:57:07,542 --> 00:57:11,417 is being reviewed and most of it is going to trash. 1223 00:57:11,542 --> 00:57:13,500 It's elevating their mood 1224 00:57:13,667 --> 00:57:16,667 and their motivation to continue with this whole thing. 1225 00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:21,792 - I can't reach it. (laughs) 1226 00:57:23,083 --> 00:57:25,917 (melancholy music) 1227 00:57:31,500 --> 00:57:33,833 - I thought we'd do a little work on your room. 1228 00:57:33,958 --> 00:57:35,417 - Okay. 1229 00:57:35,542 --> 00:57:38,167 - I'm going into Destiny's bedroom with Destiny, 1230 00:57:38,333 --> 00:57:40,167 because she hasn't had anybody 1231 00:57:40,333 --> 00:57:42,417 tell her what she needs to hear. 1232 00:57:47,417 --> 00:57:48,917 Now I'm gonna ask you something, 1233 00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:53,292 is this how I'm supposed to be cleaning a bedroom? 1234 00:57:53,375 --> 00:57:54,792 - [Destiny] Nope. 1235 00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:57,375 - [Dorothy] What's wrong with this picture, babe? 1236 00:57:57,542 --> 00:57:59,000 - So much. 1237 00:57:59,125 --> 00:58:00,542 - There's so much. 1238 00:58:00,667 --> 00:58:02,167 I'm using a shovel- - Right. 1239 00:58:02,292 --> 00:58:04,750 - in your bedroom, not okay. 1240 00:58:04,875 --> 00:58:06,250 I want you to come over here 1241 00:58:06,375 --> 00:58:08,292 and shovel the rest of this out with me. 1242 00:58:08,417 --> 00:58:09,583 - [Destiny] Okay. 1243 00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:11,417 - It's not just that she'll do the work 1244 00:58:11,542 --> 00:58:13,333 and scoop up more of the trash. 1245 00:58:13,500 --> 00:58:15,875 Pull it towards you, all the way out. 1246 00:58:16,042 --> 00:58:17,667 Yep. Good. 1247 00:58:17,792 --> 00:58:19,667 It's for her to have a realization 1248 00:58:19,792 --> 00:58:22,667 and just sit there and look around. 1249 00:58:22,792 --> 00:58:25,292 Because as the house is emptying out, 1250 00:58:25,375 --> 00:58:28,458 she's having transformative thoughts. 1251 00:58:28,542 --> 00:58:30,833 If you had a daughter, 1252 00:58:30,958 --> 00:58:34,458 would you let her sleep in a room like this? 1253 00:58:34,542 --> 00:58:36,292 (music fades) 1254 00:58:36,417 --> 00:58:37,500 - No I wouldn't. 1255 00:58:37,667 --> 00:58:40,625 This is not healthy, it's not right. 1256 00:58:42,042 --> 00:58:46,167 - I feel so determined to help Destiny understand 1257 00:58:46,250 --> 00:58:51,167 that she cannot live like this is a homeless encampment. 1258 00:58:52,042 --> 00:58:53,417 Can I just say to you, 1259 00:58:53,542 --> 00:58:56,333 it's not okay to sleep right next door to trash. 1260 00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:58,167 (melancholy music) 1261 00:58:58,333 --> 00:58:59,208 - Okay. 1262 00:58:59,375 --> 00:59:00,875 - That's just not okay. 1263 00:59:02,250 --> 00:59:04,583 Has anybody ever said that to you? 1264 00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,750 - No one's ever told me what you just did. 1265 00:59:09,208 --> 00:59:11,167 - You still have a life. 1266 00:59:11,250 --> 00:59:13,208 You can still meet somebody. 1267 00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:14,500 You can have a home. 1268 00:59:14,583 --> 00:59:16,000 You can have goals. 1269 00:59:16,125 --> 00:59:18,333 You have many things that can come. 1270 00:59:18,500 --> 00:59:19,792 You get that? 1271 00:59:19,875 --> 00:59:21,542 - I put most of those dreams away a long time ago. 1272 00:59:21,708 --> 00:59:23,667 - No, those dreams don't go away. 1273 00:59:23,792 --> 00:59:25,625 They don't go away. 1274 00:59:25,708 --> 00:59:27,167 You get to have that. 1275 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,042 All right? 1276 00:59:32,917 --> 00:59:33,583 - Okay. 1277 00:59:33,708 --> 00:59:35,542 - I'm being a little tough, 1278 00:59:35,667 --> 00:59:39,708 because we can't have someone like you 1279 00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:43,167 sleeping next to a pile of trash. 1280 00:59:43,292 --> 00:59:47,250 - And that's not to hurt you. 1281 00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:48,833 It's not to belittle you. 1282 00:59:48,958 --> 00:59:50,875 It's just, we're really concerned 1283 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,583 because you had gotten so used to this 1284 00:59:53,708 --> 00:59:56,250 and this is just not okay 1285 00:59:56,375 --> 01:00:00,958 for any human being to live in. 1286 01:00:01,083 --> 01:00:03,583 You know, sometimes we all have to hear things 1287 01:00:03,708 --> 01:00:04,792 that are hard to hear, - Mm. 1288 01:00:04,875 --> 01:00:07,417 but if we don't have these conversations 1289 01:00:07,542 --> 01:00:09,750 and it's just about a cleanup, 1290 01:00:09,875 --> 01:00:13,500 then there will be no healing inside you. 1291 01:00:13,583 --> 01:00:15,958 And part of that process is, 1292 01:00:16,083 --> 01:00:18,667 I never wanna go through this again, meaning you. 1293 01:00:20,542 --> 01:00:21,792 - Never again. 1294 01:00:24,042 --> 01:00:24,833 - Never again. 1295 01:00:27,375 --> 01:00:28,833 - Once I get the okay from Destiny 1296 01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:31,083 that everything is coming out of her bedroom, 1297 01:00:32,667 --> 01:00:35,083 I give my team 30 minutes to clear that room. 1298 01:00:35,208 --> 01:00:37,958 (energetic music) 1299 01:00:39,917 --> 01:00:44,208 Beds, platforms, furniture, everything. 1300 01:00:44,375 --> 01:00:46,542 Whatever it is, bring it out. 1301 01:00:46,667 --> 01:00:49,667 One pile is going to her to sort, under the tent. 1302 01:00:49,750 --> 01:00:52,292 Everything else is going to trash. 1303 01:00:52,375 --> 01:00:53,833 She gets to look at everything, 1304 01:00:53,958 --> 01:00:55,833 but it's moving like that. (fingers snapping) 1305 01:00:55,917 --> 01:00:57,917 I also wanna sneak in that back bedroom. 1306 01:00:58,042 --> 01:01:00,000 It's where all the kid stuff used to be. 1307 01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:02,375 So we're pulling everything out of there as well. 1308 01:01:02,542 --> 01:01:04,125 We're going to just finish up there 1309 01:01:04,208 --> 01:01:08,292 and then put it under the tent for more decisions tomorrow. 1310 01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,417 At this point, between yesterday and today, 1311 01:01:13,542 --> 01:01:17,125 we're going on seven tons worth of trash. 1312 01:01:17,208 --> 01:01:19,000 Almost got the whole house cleared. 1313 01:01:21,375 --> 01:01:24,333 Every single room is clear except for Gail's room. 1314 01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:25,542 (dramatic music) 1315 01:01:25,667 --> 01:01:27,958 And I do have concerns for tomorrow. 1316 01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:30,500 I'm hoping that by starting in the morning, 1317 01:01:30,667 --> 01:01:32,792 everyone will have more clarity. 1318 01:01:32,875 --> 01:01:36,042 But on the other hand, we are going into Gail's room. 1319 01:01:36,167 --> 01:01:40,125 How is the family going to feel when we're pulling out 1320 01:01:40,250 --> 01:01:44,292 the very bed that Gail passed away on? 1321 01:01:46,125 --> 01:01:46,833 It's tragic. 1322 01:01:46,958 --> 01:01:48,333 (dramatic music fades) 1323 01:01:59,542 --> 01:02:01,375 (engine running) 1324 01:02:01,542 --> 01:02:03,333 (metal clanging) 1325 01:02:03,458 --> 01:02:04,750 This is the third day. 1326 01:02:04,875 --> 01:02:07,083 We have got so much to do. 1327 01:02:08,458 --> 01:02:11,500 And we have the most important room left to do, 1328 01:02:11,583 --> 01:02:14,292 which is Gail's room, mom's room, right? 1329 01:02:14,417 --> 01:02:15,542 But we've also got sheds, 1330 01:02:15,667 --> 01:02:17,500 we've got a barn, we've got a camper. 1331 01:02:17,625 --> 01:02:19,833 I don't know where to start exactly, 1332 01:02:19,917 --> 01:02:21,958 but we've gotta get moving fast. 1333 01:02:25,708 --> 01:02:26,875 (dramatic music fades) 1334 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,792 Thanks for climbing back here with me. 1335 01:02:28,917 --> 01:02:31,458 Listen, there's just as much outside 1336 01:02:31,542 --> 01:02:33,875 - Mm hmm. as there was inside. 1337 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,208 And really none of this happened on your watch, 1338 01:02:36,333 --> 01:02:39,250 and yet you are now having to make the decisions. 1339 01:02:39,375 --> 01:02:42,000 And I'm curious, what do you want to do 1340 01:02:42,125 --> 01:02:44,292 with everything that's back here? 1341 01:02:44,417 --> 01:02:45,333 (energetic music) 1342 01:02:45,458 --> 01:02:48,125 - I'd like Adam to take pictures of things 1343 01:02:48,250 --> 01:02:52,625 that he thinks that we might want pictures of. 1344 01:02:52,708 --> 01:02:54,125 And then I want it all gone. 1345 01:02:55,167 --> 01:02:55,833 All of it. 1346 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,125 - Really? - Yeah. 1347 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,750 - It's been sitting here for 25 years, 1348 01:03:01,875 --> 01:03:02,583 they've just been sitting. 1349 01:03:02,708 --> 01:03:04,042 - Yep. - Yay. 1350 01:03:04,208 --> 01:03:05,667 - And none of us have an emotional 1351 01:03:05,792 --> 01:03:07,000 attachment to any of it. 1352 01:03:07,083 --> 01:03:10,500 It was all moms, and we can't hold onto it. 1353 01:03:10,583 --> 01:03:12,708 - Okay. All right. Wow. 1354 01:03:12,875 --> 01:03:13,625 Yes? - Yes. 1355 01:03:13,708 --> 01:03:14,500 - All right. 1356 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:18,833 Destiny and the whole family are just remarkable. 1357 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:23,167 Again, sweeping decision, Dorothy, let it go. 1358 01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:24,792 (metal clanging) 1359 01:03:24,875 --> 01:03:28,208 (intense music) 1360 01:03:28,375 --> 01:03:30,333 (garbage clattering) 1361 01:03:30,458 --> 01:03:33,500 I'll tell you what, if we have any chance to finish this, 1362 01:03:33,583 --> 01:03:35,042 we've gotta start right now, 1363 01:03:35,208 --> 01:03:39,417 because every single stall is at least waist to chest high. 1364 01:03:40,917 --> 01:03:44,708 You just see bags, and boxes, and toys, and furniture, 1365 01:03:44,833 --> 01:03:46,542 it's just everywhere. 1366 01:03:49,417 --> 01:03:52,458 Not only that, the barn is in the woods. 1367 01:03:52,583 --> 01:03:56,917 So we have to find the side road and park a dumpster there, 1368 01:03:57,042 --> 01:04:00,292 get an ATV and drive the stuff 1369 01:04:00,417 --> 01:04:03,667 from the barn to the dumpster and get it in. 1370 01:04:03,833 --> 01:04:05,792 Like, this is no easy task. 1371 01:04:14,042 --> 01:04:17,208 (intense music fades) 1372 01:04:18,333 --> 01:04:19,583 - That's a big set. 1373 01:04:19,708 --> 01:04:22,917 If you want part of the Blue Willow, you're welcome to it. 1374 01:04:23,042 --> 01:04:24,167 - I might pick a piece or two. 1375 01:04:24,292 --> 01:04:25,500 - Okay. 1376 01:04:25,625 --> 01:04:28,667 'Cause, keep in mind that some of it came from granny 1377 01:04:28,792 --> 01:04:31,375 and then some mama just added. 1378 01:04:31,542 --> 01:04:32,583 (dramatic music) 1379 01:04:32,708 --> 01:04:33,917 - So Jill, will you be responsible? 1380 01:04:34,042 --> 01:04:35,167 Take all of this- - Yes. 1381 01:04:35,292 --> 01:04:37,292 - and then put it over into a place 1382 01:04:37,417 --> 01:04:40,250 where you can wrap it up and box it. 1383 01:04:40,375 --> 01:04:44,500 So the next big one we're going to go to is the red. 1384 01:04:44,583 --> 01:04:46,333 - Here's what I'm thinking. 1385 01:04:46,458 --> 01:04:49,875 There are other pieces that I would use 1386 01:04:50,042 --> 01:04:52,250 and I wouldn't use that, - Mm hmm. 1387 01:04:53,208 --> 01:04:56,417 but I am very uncomfortable with it going to the trash. 1388 01:04:56,542 --> 01:04:57,500 Very uncomfortable. 1389 01:04:58,875 --> 01:05:03,542 - If it was going to a donation store, 1390 01:05:03,667 --> 01:05:05,542 would that make you feel better? 1391 01:05:05,667 --> 01:05:06,958 - It would. - Yeah? 1392 01:05:07,042 --> 01:05:07,875 - Beautiful. - Yeah. 1393 01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:08,625 - Okay. - Beautiful. 1394 01:05:08,708 --> 01:05:09,958 - All right. 1395 01:05:10,042 --> 01:05:11,125 - [Dawn] 'Cause it's usable and yeah. 1396 01:05:11,208 --> 01:05:13,042 - Yeah, I was gonna say to donate the rest. 1397 01:05:13,167 --> 01:05:14,125 - Yeah. - Okay. 1398 01:05:16,958 --> 01:05:18,208 - They've made the decisions. 1399 01:05:18,375 --> 01:05:20,875 We need to pull up the tarps and move on. 1400 01:05:34,667 --> 01:05:36,750 (dramatic music fades) 1401 01:05:36,875 --> 01:05:39,917 - Okay, we have now the most important 1402 01:05:40,042 --> 01:05:43,083 and the last room in the house, 1403 01:05:43,208 --> 01:05:44,417 which is your mom's room. 1404 01:05:46,042 --> 01:05:49,500 And normally we just jump right on in there with you. 1405 01:05:49,625 --> 01:05:53,167 But in this case, I wanna send you in there 1406 01:05:53,250 --> 01:05:56,167 as a family alone, without us. 1407 01:05:57,167 --> 01:06:00,083 To just be in this space 1408 01:06:00,208 --> 01:06:03,125 and maybe start looking at what you wanna keep. 1409 01:06:03,208 --> 01:06:05,875 Oh, Dawn, I know honey. I know. 1410 01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,750 (melancholy music) 1411 01:06:07,875 --> 01:06:08,708 I know. 1412 01:06:10,042 --> 01:06:11,250 You okay? - Mhm. 1413 01:06:11,375 --> 01:06:12,375 - Okay. 1414 01:06:12,542 --> 01:06:15,042 And then I'm gonna stand with my team 1415 01:06:15,167 --> 01:06:17,417 right outside in the hallway. 1416 01:06:17,542 --> 01:06:20,792 When you say, keep, we'll get it into your boxes. 1417 01:06:20,875 --> 01:06:22,333 Otherwise you give it to us 1418 01:06:22,417 --> 01:06:25,208 and we'll gently, lovingly put it on the dumpster. 1419 01:06:26,917 --> 01:06:27,875 Okay? 1420 01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,333 - We can do it. - You can do it? 1421 01:06:30,375 --> 01:06:31,167 Okay. 1422 01:06:40,208 --> 01:06:42,167 This is their mom's room. 1423 01:06:42,250 --> 01:06:44,833 And the family needs to go in there with Destiny 1424 01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:48,417 to just start the work and be together 1425 01:06:48,542 --> 01:06:50,250 and face this as a group. 1426 01:06:53,208 --> 01:06:54,250 - [Dawn] Do we dive in? 1427 01:06:54,375 --> 01:06:56,250 Is that what is happening right now? 1428 01:06:57,542 --> 01:06:58,250 - Think so. 1429 01:07:03,083 --> 01:07:05,417 - I know this was hard. 1430 01:07:05,542 --> 01:07:06,333 I know. 1431 01:07:08,542 --> 01:07:11,792 Mama's room, it's daunting in there. 1432 01:07:11,875 --> 01:07:14,375 It feels like the end. 1433 01:07:15,833 --> 01:07:19,750 (melancholy music fades) 1434 01:07:19,875 --> 01:07:21,000 - [Roddy] I know. 1435 01:07:21,125 --> 01:07:23,042 - Destiny? - This is gonna be 1436 01:07:23,167 --> 01:07:24,417 the hardest to let go. 1437 01:07:26,083 --> 01:07:27,500 - [Dawn] I know. 1438 01:07:28,625 --> 01:07:30,792 - I can't look over there. 1439 01:07:30,875 --> 01:07:33,333 (emotional music) 1440 01:07:33,458 --> 01:07:36,375 - Truth be told, I can't either. 1441 01:07:36,500 --> 01:07:38,292 - I shouldn't have, the other day. 1442 01:07:39,417 --> 01:07:42,417 Not having dealt with my mom being gone, 1443 01:07:42,542 --> 01:07:46,250 you know, I started thinking to myself, she lived in that. 1444 01:07:46,375 --> 01:07:48,542 Almost everything in this room smells. 1445 01:07:49,458 --> 01:07:50,667 - Yeah. - Like the poison 1446 01:07:50,792 --> 01:07:51,792 that helped kill her. 1447 01:07:51,875 --> 01:07:53,333 So yeah, I'm good with it gone. 1448 01:07:53,458 --> 01:07:54,708 And I need out of the room. 1449 01:07:54,833 --> 01:07:56,417 - Okay. - I need... 1450 01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,667 - I've had anxiety and nightmares about this 1451 01:08:05,833 --> 01:08:10,125 because I knew that when the time came and mom passed 1452 01:08:10,250 --> 01:08:12,042 that we were gonna have to deal with this. 1453 01:08:12,208 --> 01:08:13,333 And this is not something 1454 01:08:13,417 --> 01:08:16,292 that anyone should have to deal with. 1455 01:08:34,792 --> 01:08:37,750 (garbage clattering) 1456 01:08:51,208 --> 01:08:53,625 (Dawn crying) 1457 01:08:55,958 --> 01:08:57,000 - Hi everybody. 1458 01:08:57,125 --> 01:08:57,875 - [Dawn] Hi. 1459 01:08:59,083 --> 01:09:00,458 - Hi. - How's everybody holding up? 1460 01:09:00,542 --> 01:09:03,875 This is the last room of the house, 1461 01:09:04,042 --> 01:09:07,000 and of course the most difficult. 1462 01:09:07,125 --> 01:09:09,292 What are you feeling Destiny? 1463 01:09:09,417 --> 01:09:11,667 - That I wanna keep it all. 1464 01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:12,833 (melancholy music) 1465 01:09:12,958 --> 01:09:14,458 - Yeah. 1466 01:09:14,542 --> 01:09:16,625 Roddy, what's going on for you? 1467 01:09:16,708 --> 01:09:17,458 - I'm just mad. 1468 01:09:18,708 --> 01:09:20,042 She gave up. 1469 01:09:20,208 --> 01:09:22,667 She stopped listening, she didn't care. 1470 01:09:22,792 --> 01:09:25,250 Didn't matter how many times we came out to help. 1471 01:09:26,625 --> 01:09:27,375 - Yep. 1472 01:09:28,833 --> 01:09:29,833 - Me too. 1473 01:09:29,958 --> 01:09:31,333 I'm mad too. 1474 01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:32,875 - I know it's not easy 1475 01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:34,500 thinking that she was living like this 1476 01:09:34,583 --> 01:09:38,875 and that she passed in these conditions. 1477 01:09:39,042 --> 01:09:40,542 - Just lived in that one corner. 1478 01:09:44,250 --> 01:09:47,667 (Dawn and Destiny crying) 1479 01:10:01,542 --> 01:10:04,542 - I am so deeply sorry for your loss. 1480 01:10:06,042 --> 01:10:09,500 And I'm so deeply sorry that 1481 01:10:09,667 --> 01:10:12,167 you have to be standing in these conditions 1482 01:10:12,292 --> 01:10:15,792 in the process of grieving your mother. 1483 01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:19,292 I think at this point, 1484 01:10:20,333 --> 01:10:21,833 restoring this room 1485 01:10:21,958 --> 01:10:23,292 will help all of you 1486 01:10:23,417 --> 01:10:26,958 to move past what this is. 1487 01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:30,500 Because I think right now, 1488 01:10:30,667 --> 01:10:32,375 even though this was your mom's room, 1489 01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:35,542 and this is where she lived, at the same time, 1490 01:10:35,708 --> 01:10:39,000 it's not producing good feelings for any of you. 1491 01:10:39,083 --> 01:10:42,333 I think you all are gonna feel just a little bit better 1492 01:10:42,417 --> 01:10:45,333 once we can get this room in order for you. 1493 01:10:45,417 --> 01:10:49,250 Do you guys feel like you need some time to just digest? 1494 01:10:49,375 --> 01:10:50,917 - Absolutely not. - Nope. 1495 01:10:51,042 --> 01:10:52,167 - Absolutely not. 1496 01:10:52,292 --> 01:10:53,917 - You're ready to dive in and get it done. 1497 01:10:54,042 --> 01:10:55,250 - Yep. - All right. 1498 01:10:55,375 --> 01:10:56,458 I'm gonna get Dorothy. 1499 01:10:56,542 --> 01:10:57,833 - Let's get this over with. 1500 01:11:00,875 --> 01:11:03,458 - They have been grieving the loss of their mother. 1501 01:11:03,583 --> 01:11:06,000 And I think that this is a healthy response. 1502 01:11:07,458 --> 01:11:09,083 - Basically, the family turned 1503 01:11:09,208 --> 01:11:11,375 all the decision making over to us. 1504 01:11:13,208 --> 01:11:16,292 Photos, paperwork, jewelry, 1505 01:11:16,417 --> 01:11:19,250 anything that might have some special value. 1506 01:11:19,375 --> 01:11:22,167 They all go onto the tarps underneath the tent. 1507 01:11:22,333 --> 01:11:25,667 Everything else is trash going into the dumpster. 1508 01:11:25,792 --> 01:11:28,500 (energetic music) 1509 01:12:04,250 --> 01:12:06,542 (energetic music fades) 1510 01:12:06,667 --> 01:12:08,042 - [Robin] What are you sorting through? 1511 01:12:08,167 --> 01:12:10,542 - This is a box of stuff from my room 1512 01:12:12,375 --> 01:12:14,333 and kind of thinking about, I can't keep it, 1513 01:12:14,417 --> 01:12:16,000 because it doesn't even inflate anymore. 1514 01:12:16,125 --> 01:12:17,417 (Dr. Zasio laughs) 1515 01:12:17,542 --> 01:12:19,500 But the reason I've kept it so many years 1516 01:12:19,625 --> 01:12:23,042 is because the nephew who died, Sean, 1517 01:12:23,167 --> 01:12:26,500 helped me blow it up for my bedroom when I was like 15. 1518 01:12:26,625 --> 01:12:28,500 So, I was thinking of keeping it, 1519 01:12:28,583 --> 01:12:30,583 but I don't think I need it. 1520 01:12:32,042 --> 01:12:36,833 - Destiny, how did the loss of your sister Melody 1521 01:12:36,958 --> 01:12:38,292 and Sean impact you? 1522 01:12:38,417 --> 01:12:39,625 (emotional music) 1523 01:12:39,708 --> 01:12:40,792 - It's hard to describe it. 1524 01:12:40,875 --> 01:12:44,167 It made me withdraw from everyone. 1525 01:12:44,292 --> 01:12:47,333 I stopped interacting with people outside of the family. 1526 01:12:47,417 --> 01:12:50,792 And even with them, I stopped interacting. 1527 01:12:50,875 --> 01:12:52,333 - Mm hmm. 1528 01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:57,417 - Did your life just kind of go to a screeching halt 1529 01:12:58,208 --> 01:12:59,000 when they passed? 1530 01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,000 - It did. 1531 01:13:01,292 --> 01:13:02,917 - And why was that? 1532 01:13:03,042 --> 01:13:04,875 - Self sabotage. - Oh. 1533 01:13:05,875 --> 01:13:08,625 The trash situation might have been subconscious punishment 1534 01:13:09,667 --> 01:13:12,000 myself and everyone around me. 1535 01:13:13,375 --> 01:13:16,000 - The thing that I'm learning about you 1536 01:13:16,083 --> 01:13:19,833 is that it seems like when things get hard, 1537 01:13:19,958 --> 01:13:21,708 you get paralyzed. 1538 01:13:23,333 --> 01:13:24,042 - Yeah, 1539 01:13:25,708 --> 01:13:27,750 that's a good way to put it. 1540 01:13:27,875 --> 01:13:31,125 - You know, when you lost Melody and Sean, 1541 01:13:31,208 --> 01:13:32,833 you got paralyzed. 1542 01:13:32,958 --> 01:13:37,458 When the house started to get out of control. 1543 01:13:37,542 --> 01:13:39,917 - Yeah. - You got paralyzed. 1544 01:13:40,042 --> 01:13:44,042 And my concern is that you're gonna retreat back 1545 01:13:44,167 --> 01:13:46,000 and get paralyzed again. 1546 01:13:46,125 --> 01:13:47,500 - Yeah. 1547 01:13:47,625 --> 01:13:50,167 - And I'm curious if you're worried about that? 1548 01:13:50,250 --> 01:13:52,417 - I am. I'm very worried. 1549 01:13:52,542 --> 01:13:54,167 I'm worried, it's gonna be like two, three weeks 1550 01:13:54,292 --> 01:13:55,875 and I'm just gonna like shut down. 1551 01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:57,250 - Mm hmm. 1552 01:13:57,375 --> 01:13:59,625 But, I think I've got plenty of people 1553 01:13:59,708 --> 01:14:02,208 who are gonna shake me out of it. 1554 01:14:02,333 --> 01:14:03,500 - Mm hmm. 1555 01:14:03,583 --> 01:14:05,375 - Dorothy and I have really tried 1556 01:14:05,500 --> 01:14:09,625 to remind you that you do deserve better. 1557 01:14:10,958 --> 01:14:14,250 And are you feeling like you're getting in a place 1558 01:14:14,375 --> 01:14:17,833 where you can internalize that? 1559 01:14:17,917 --> 01:14:22,167 Or do you think you'll go back to old ways 1560 01:14:22,250 --> 01:14:24,792 and continue to punish yourself? 1561 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,833 - I honestly don't know. I'm hoping. 1562 01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:28,792 - Yeah. 1563 01:14:29,875 --> 01:14:31,958 - I will probably stumble. - Mm hmm. 1564 01:14:33,375 --> 01:14:35,083 Probably struggle for a bit. - Mm hmm. 1565 01:14:35,208 --> 01:14:36,667 I think I'm capable of it. 1566 01:14:36,750 --> 01:14:39,375 - There are resources that we're gonna be providing for you 1567 01:14:39,500 --> 01:14:42,708 when we leave, this is never about a cleanup. 1568 01:14:42,833 --> 01:14:45,500 It's always about the person who's struggling 1569 01:14:45,667 --> 01:14:48,458 and they're emotional and mental health. 1570 01:14:48,542 --> 01:14:51,333 We're gonna provide a therapist for you. 1571 01:14:51,458 --> 01:14:52,333 - Okay. 1572 01:14:52,458 --> 01:14:54,625 - But if we miss that piece, 1573 01:14:54,708 --> 01:14:59,667 then the likelihood of your going back again is pretty high. 1574 01:15:00,792 --> 01:15:02,333 So I'm hoping that you will accept 1575 01:15:02,458 --> 01:15:04,000 what we have to offer you. 1576 01:15:04,167 --> 01:15:05,417 - Okay. 1577 01:15:05,542 --> 01:15:06,333 - 100%? 1578 01:15:06,458 --> 01:15:07,292 - 100%. 1579 01:15:07,375 --> 01:15:08,708 - Okay. All right. 1580 01:15:08,833 --> 01:15:11,000 I'm really glad to hear that. 1581 01:15:11,083 --> 01:15:12,458 - Okay. 1582 01:15:12,542 --> 01:15:15,125 (upbeat music) 1583 01:15:20,625 --> 01:15:21,875 - Tomorrow's the final day, 1584 01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:24,625 and on top of having a mountain of things to do, 1585 01:15:24,708 --> 01:15:27,625 we need to finish the barn and we have two sheds left. 1586 01:15:33,375 --> 01:15:34,667 We've gotta clean the place 1587 01:15:34,833 --> 01:15:36,667 because Paige, the property manager, 1588 01:15:36,792 --> 01:15:39,625 wants to do a walkthrough and see what's going on. 1589 01:15:42,250 --> 01:15:43,667 (garbage clattering) 1590 01:15:43,792 --> 01:15:45,792 I'm a little worried about that. 1591 01:15:45,875 --> 01:15:47,958 I don't know if we can do this. 1592 01:15:48,042 --> 01:15:50,667 We have one day left. 1593 01:15:50,792 --> 01:15:52,167 (upbeat music fades) 1594 01:16:00,917 --> 01:16:03,667 It's the last day, we've got a lot to do. 1595 01:16:03,792 --> 01:16:06,750 We've got the barn to finish, we've got sheds to do. 1596 01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:09,833 We've gotta clean and finish the inside of the house. 1597 01:16:09,917 --> 01:16:13,542 And the property manager's coming to visit. 1598 01:16:19,833 --> 01:16:21,875 The stakes are very high, 1599 01:16:22,042 --> 01:16:24,833 because if we don't do this for the family, 1600 01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:27,875 then Destiny is facing eviction. 1601 01:16:28,042 --> 01:16:30,542 We don't wanna let her and the family down. 1602 01:16:40,333 --> 01:16:43,500 This space needs to look as good as it possibly can. 1603 01:16:43,625 --> 01:16:46,167 So we had housekeepers coming in, 1604 01:16:46,333 --> 01:16:49,500 and it was a nightmare in there. 1605 01:16:49,667 --> 01:16:52,375 That floor was horrendous, just full of the stuff. 1606 01:16:52,500 --> 01:16:53,750 All I can do is say, 1607 01:16:53,875 --> 01:16:56,708 please vacuum with a shop vac right now. 1608 01:16:58,958 --> 01:17:01,833 They're vacuuming, everybody's scrubbing walls. 1609 01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:06,000 There's just so much to do and not enough time to do it. 1610 01:17:09,167 --> 01:17:11,292 We're trying to get everything done. 1611 01:17:11,375 --> 01:17:12,833 I'm running back and forth. 1612 01:17:12,917 --> 01:17:15,875 Then I see Paige walking up to take a look at the house. 1613 01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:16,583 - Hey Paige! 1614 01:17:16,708 --> 01:17:17,917 - Hi! 1615 01:17:18,042 --> 01:17:21,833 - And I am just hoping that this is enough. 1616 01:17:21,958 --> 01:17:23,500 You said to clear it all out. 1617 01:17:23,583 --> 01:17:25,250 - Yes. - We did the barn. 1618 01:17:25,375 --> 01:17:26,708 We're working on the sheds 1619 01:17:26,875 --> 01:17:28,833 and we're just finishing the cleaning here in the house. 1620 01:17:28,958 --> 01:17:30,458 - Well, I'll go see what you've done. 1621 01:17:30,542 --> 01:17:32,042 - Okay. 1622 01:17:32,167 --> 01:17:36,083 Paige is going in by herself and my fingers are crossed. 1623 01:17:36,208 --> 01:17:38,875 We all are just hoping that this is going to work. 1624 01:17:40,458 --> 01:17:41,292 - Wow. 1625 01:17:42,500 --> 01:17:43,750 There are floors in here. 1626 01:17:44,833 --> 01:17:48,542 Walking in the house, I see walls, 1627 01:17:48,667 --> 01:17:50,000 I see floors. 1628 01:17:50,083 --> 01:17:53,292 I'm just amazed at how much work has been done. 1629 01:17:54,708 --> 01:17:56,708 Room's much bigger without things in it. 1630 01:17:56,875 --> 01:17:58,833 The countertops in the kitchen are clear. 1631 01:17:58,958 --> 01:18:01,042 It's the first time I've seen them in years. 1632 01:18:02,208 --> 01:18:03,375 Wow. 1633 01:18:03,542 --> 01:18:05,208 Difference is incredible. 1634 01:18:05,333 --> 01:18:07,833 I can see how these rooms are completely 1635 01:18:07,958 --> 01:18:09,583 free and clear of any items. 1636 01:18:09,708 --> 01:18:11,625 This room looks so much bigger. 1637 01:18:12,667 --> 01:18:14,708 The house is looking good, so far, 1638 01:18:14,875 --> 01:18:17,167 but I still need to see the rest of the property. 1639 01:18:18,542 --> 01:18:20,667 Wow. 1640 01:18:20,792 --> 01:18:23,208 Oh, the change is amazing. 1641 01:18:24,500 --> 01:18:25,917 This looks really good. 1642 01:18:29,208 --> 01:18:30,417 - All right. 1643 01:18:30,542 --> 01:18:35,083 - So, I've toured the property and it it looks tremendous. 1644 01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:37,417 I never would've guessed it looked this good. 1645 01:18:37,542 --> 01:18:38,792 I can tell you've been hard at work 1646 01:18:38,875 --> 01:18:42,667 and on behalf of the owner and our company, 1647 01:18:42,750 --> 01:18:44,792 we will be willing to work with the family 1648 01:18:44,875 --> 01:18:46,167 and halt the eviction. 1649 01:18:46,292 --> 01:18:47,500 It looks great, 1650 01:18:47,625 --> 01:18:48,667 and this family- - Well let me just say this 1651 01:18:48,792 --> 01:18:50,583 about all that. 1652 01:18:50,708 --> 01:18:51,542 (both laughing) 1653 01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:53,000 - Yeah, I'm jumping in! 1654 01:18:53,167 --> 01:18:55,500 Fortunately we don't have to evict them. 1655 01:18:55,667 --> 01:18:56,375 It's a good day. 1656 01:18:57,667 --> 01:18:58,833 This is great. 1657 01:18:58,917 --> 01:18:59,667 - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 1658 01:18:59,833 --> 01:19:01,333 I can't wait to tell 'em. 1659 01:19:01,417 --> 01:19:02,167 Thank you. 1660 01:19:02,292 --> 01:19:03,500 - You're welcome. 1661 01:19:03,667 --> 01:19:06,208 - Man, I wasn't sure that we could do it. 1662 01:19:06,333 --> 01:19:08,333 (inspirational music) 1663 01:19:08,417 --> 01:19:12,167 From where we started, to where we ended up, 1664 01:19:12,292 --> 01:19:13,542 two different things. 1665 01:19:13,667 --> 01:19:16,792 We cleared out the entire back area. 1666 01:19:16,917 --> 01:19:20,250 Then, there's the entire house, room by room. 1667 01:19:21,667 --> 01:19:25,625 We filled up 18 tons worth of stuff. 1668 01:19:25,708 --> 01:19:27,000 That's nine dumpsters. 1669 01:19:31,083 --> 01:19:35,958 We averted the eviction and suddenly now we can see 1670 01:19:36,042 --> 01:19:38,583 what this house really looks like underneath, 1671 01:19:38,708 --> 01:19:39,875 all of the hoard. 1672 01:19:42,333 --> 01:19:44,750 (music fades) 1673 01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:49,500 - Hi family. - Hello. 1674 01:19:49,625 --> 01:19:51,417 - [Dorothy] Hello there, come on in! 1675 01:19:51,542 --> 01:19:52,500 - [Doug] Wow. 1676 01:19:52,625 --> 01:19:55,500 (lighthearted music) 1677 01:19:55,667 --> 01:19:57,333 - [Robin] Come on into your living room. 1678 01:19:57,458 --> 01:19:58,708 - Wow. - Wow. 1679 01:19:58,833 --> 01:20:00,875 - Oh my God. - Wow, wow. 1680 01:20:01,917 --> 01:20:03,750 - What do you think? - Very pretty. 1681 01:20:05,167 --> 01:20:06,500 - [Roddy] This is the most space I've seen in here 1682 01:20:06,667 --> 01:20:08,042 in a very, very, very long time. 1683 01:20:08,208 --> 01:20:10,500 - Yeah. - Does it feel too empty? 1684 01:20:10,583 --> 01:20:14,167 - No, actually I like the way it's open and clear. 1685 01:20:14,292 --> 01:20:15,542 - Mm hm. 1686 01:20:15,667 --> 01:20:18,167 - Seeing the house now that it's all been cleared out, 1687 01:20:18,250 --> 01:20:20,500 I do feel a sense of freedom. 1688 01:20:20,583 --> 01:20:22,083 - So this feels good to you? 1689 01:20:22,208 --> 01:20:23,458 - Yep. 1690 01:20:23,583 --> 01:20:24,917 - And it feels much better than the way you were living? 1691 01:20:25,042 --> 01:20:26,625 - Yes, it does. 1692 01:20:26,750 --> 01:20:28,167 (group laughs) 1693 01:20:28,292 --> 01:20:30,000 - It's really good to hear that this feels good to you, 1694 01:20:30,125 --> 01:20:32,875 which really adds to your prognosis 1695 01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:34,917 to keep the house in order. 1696 01:20:36,167 --> 01:20:37,208 - All I could think this whole week was 1697 01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:40,083 how in the world did I live like this? 1698 01:20:40,208 --> 01:20:42,667 I never wanna live like that again. 1699 01:20:42,833 --> 01:20:45,208 - This is really what you deserve. 1700 01:20:45,333 --> 01:20:46,292 - Absolutely. 1701 01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:48,333 - And that's why we came to help you 1702 01:20:48,417 --> 01:20:50,833 is because when we saw the way you were living, 1703 01:20:50,958 --> 01:20:53,625 we knew we had to come and help you. 1704 01:20:53,708 --> 01:20:54,583 (melancholy music) 1705 01:20:54,708 --> 01:20:55,875 - Thank you. 1706 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:59,167 - This has really been a transformational journey 1707 01:20:59,250 --> 01:21:00,500 for all of you, 1708 01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:04,042 not just what Dorothy and her crew did with the home, 1709 01:21:04,208 --> 01:21:07,917 but for all of you emotionally, collectively as a family. 1710 01:21:08,042 --> 01:21:09,292 - It's amazing. 1711 01:21:09,375 --> 01:21:11,750 I think being able to go through everything 1712 01:21:11,875 --> 01:21:14,167 the way that we did, we're also able to process 1713 01:21:14,292 --> 01:21:16,833 so many emotions about our parents, 1714 01:21:16,958 --> 01:21:19,167 recovering memories that we thought were gone, 1715 01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:20,958 pictures, all kinds of things. 1716 01:21:21,042 --> 01:21:25,292 So, this has been an unbelievable experience. 1717 01:21:25,375 --> 01:21:26,333 It's changed my life. 1718 01:21:26,458 --> 01:21:28,292 I know it's changed my siblings lives 1719 01:21:28,375 --> 01:21:30,750 and it's definitely changed Destiny's life. 1720 01:21:30,875 --> 01:21:33,083 She can move forward without all of this 1721 01:21:33,208 --> 01:21:35,917 emotional and physical baggage weighing her down. 1722 01:21:36,042 --> 01:21:36,958 (upbeat music) 1723 01:21:37,042 --> 01:21:38,792 - Oh wow. - Oh, wow. 1724 01:21:38,875 --> 01:21:40,875 - Oh, wow. - Holy crap. 1725 01:21:44,708 --> 01:21:47,083 - Oh. - So much space. 1726 01:21:47,208 --> 01:21:50,917 - Right? - Amazing. Amazing. 1727 01:21:51,042 --> 01:21:55,208 I'd have forgotten how pretty this home could be. 1728 01:21:55,333 --> 01:21:57,542 And it all of a sudden feels like a home again. 1729 01:21:59,750 --> 01:22:00,792 You ready? 1730 01:22:00,917 --> 01:22:02,083 - Oh! 1731 01:22:02,208 --> 01:22:04,042 Oh my God. - Oh wow. 1732 01:22:04,167 --> 01:22:07,792 (lighthearted music) 1733 01:22:07,917 --> 01:22:10,000 - Oh! - That is beautiful. 1734 01:22:10,750 --> 01:22:11,833 - Oh wow. 1735 01:22:11,917 --> 01:22:12,708 (group laughing) 1736 01:22:12,833 --> 01:22:14,333 - [Doug] Goodness. 1737 01:22:14,458 --> 01:22:17,917 - Seeing my bedroom was such a beautiful moment. 1738 01:22:18,042 --> 01:22:21,958 I couldn't imagine having that much space in my room. 1739 01:22:22,042 --> 01:22:23,333 - Does it feel okay in here? 1740 01:22:23,417 --> 01:22:24,500 - Oh yeah. 1741 01:22:24,625 --> 01:22:26,875 Seriously, I'm this close to just diving in. 1742 01:22:27,042 --> 01:22:29,583 (group laughs) 1743 01:22:31,125 --> 01:22:34,833 - This special space needed to be created for Destiny 1744 01:22:34,958 --> 01:22:38,833 because she was living literally in a trash heap 1745 01:22:38,958 --> 01:22:41,750 and she has this whole new space to dream. 1746 01:22:41,875 --> 01:22:43,583 - This is me all over. 1747 01:22:45,042 --> 01:22:47,250 - I'm glad it feels good for you 1748 01:22:47,375 --> 01:22:51,583 because that's everything that we had hoped for, for you. 1749 01:22:53,208 --> 01:22:56,875 We have one more room to look at, okay? 1750 01:22:57,042 --> 01:22:58,542 Are you ready? 1751 01:22:58,667 --> 01:22:59,458 - Yeah. 1752 01:22:59,542 --> 01:23:01,375 (emotional music) 1753 01:23:01,542 --> 01:23:02,208 - Oh! - Oh! 1754 01:23:08,375 --> 01:23:10,250 - [Roddy] Oh my. 1755 01:23:10,375 --> 01:23:12,000 (Doug crying) 1756 01:23:12,125 --> 01:23:13,208 That's all of them. 1757 01:23:14,958 --> 01:23:16,250 - Walking into my mother's bedroom, 1758 01:23:16,375 --> 01:23:19,042 it was like a sledge hammer to the chest, 1759 01:23:19,167 --> 01:23:22,542 to see basically a memorial, not just to mom, 1760 01:23:22,708 --> 01:23:24,375 but to everybody that we've lost. 1761 01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:30,083 - Oh, that's beautiful. - Yeah it is. 1762 01:23:33,125 --> 01:23:35,083 - [Doug] I didn't even know that picture existed. 1763 01:23:36,208 --> 01:23:39,333 - Seeing that photograph and the chair was, 1764 01:23:39,500 --> 01:23:42,542 I think the most beautiful tribute anyone could have done. 1765 01:23:42,667 --> 01:23:43,625 I think we all needed it. 1766 01:23:45,125 --> 01:23:47,292 - I think you're gonna be okay. 1767 01:23:47,417 --> 01:23:48,708 (Destiny laughs) 1768 01:23:48,875 --> 01:23:51,833 I think we're all gonna be okay. 1769 01:23:51,917 --> 01:23:53,333 Yeah. 1770 01:23:53,458 --> 01:23:56,458 - After care is gonna be critical for Destiny. 1771 01:23:56,583 --> 01:23:58,833 She needs to deal with the emotional pain 1772 01:23:58,958 --> 01:24:00,958 of losing her mother. 1773 01:24:01,083 --> 01:24:03,750 In addition to that, she has a whole 'nother journey 1774 01:24:03,875 --> 01:24:07,250 that she's gonna embark on, which is to reclaim her life. 1775 01:24:08,708 --> 01:24:11,667 - Her entire path was truly hidden underneath this hoard. 1776 01:24:11,750 --> 01:24:13,750 And now her future is open. 1777 01:24:13,875 --> 01:24:17,667 Yeah, there's work to be done, but her metamorphosis 1778 01:24:17,792 --> 01:24:21,542 is just as grand or even more grand than the house itself. 1779 01:24:22,958 --> 01:24:24,708 - I'm not sure what's next. 1780 01:24:24,833 --> 01:24:28,750 But, I think the future is looking pretty bright 1781 01:24:28,875 --> 01:24:30,167 from where I'm sitting. 1782 01:24:31,917 --> 01:24:34,417 (upbeat music) 1783 01:24:56,083 --> 01:24:58,458 (music fades)