1 00:00:03,458 --> 00:00:05,083 Me and my mum certainly don't have a habit of 2 00:00:05,208 --> 00:00:07,458 keeping the house clean. 3 00:00:07,458 --> 00:00:10,958 This is not a safe place to eat, or cook... 4 00:00:10,958 --> 00:00:12,583 Pretty scary. 5 00:00:14,292 --> 00:00:16,958 Waking up to a big bag of trash next to you... 6 00:00:16,958 --> 00:00:18,792 It's not a way to live. 7 00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:23,792 My hoarding has hindered his social life. 8 00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:25,167 It's no fair, is it? 9 00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:27,500 I just have cuss words in my head. 10 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,875 I need the family to come together here. 11 00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:35,542 It's hard for me to not want to see what all is in there. 12 00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:38,292 See how I'm not looking at it and saying no? 13 00:00:38,292 --> 00:00:43,042 Where does she go if her home was taken away? 14 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:45,667 This is too much for you, we can stop. 15 00:00:45,667 --> 00:00:47,333 It's stressing me out now. 16 00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:49,750 It seems that Tajko would be better off without me. 17 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:52,167 I'm sorry that I am this way. 18 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,417 It's an emergency situation. 19 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:38,208 What do you feel like today? 20 00:01:38,375 --> 00:01:40,625 - Eggs and bacon, I guess. - Okay, can you grab them? 21 00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:41,667 I don't want toast though, 22 00:01:41,792 --> 00:01:42,833 I'm just having eggs and bacon. 23 00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:44,083 Okay. 24 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:46,625 I'm Lori, and I live in Kugluktuk, Nunavut. 25 00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:52,833 Kugluktuk is a community in the Western Canadian Arctic. 26 00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:56,250 We're about 1600 people living here. 27 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,667 Over 20 years that I've lived here, you know, 28 00:01:58,667 --> 00:02:01,250 it's really become my home. 29 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:06,375 I'm a sister, a mother, administrator, a friend. 30 00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:09,250 The biggest challenge in my life is my hoarding disorder. 31 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,583 There are four bedrooms upstairs. 32 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,667 It's very chaotic. 33 00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:26,125 You see like piles of clothes in disarray. 34 00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:28,333 There's not really any area in this house 35 00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:32,083 that does not have stuff. 36 00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:34,292 Makes me feel a lot of guilt and a lot of shame 37 00:02:34,292 --> 00:02:37,583 because I know it shouldn't be that way. 38 00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:38,583 You ready to eat, then? 39 00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:41,417 I think so- Well, do we have forks and... 40 00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:42,750 spoons? 41 00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:47,583 - Oh, man, I forgot about that. - Want to check your room? 42 00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:49,917 My name is Tajko, and Lori is my mom. 43 00:02:50,042 --> 00:02:51,167 And is there none in the kitchen? 44 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:52,292 I think you need to check your room, Mom. 45 00:02:52,292 --> 00:02:53,542 You always leave them in your room. 46 00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:56,542 Here's a plastic spoon, that's no good. 47 00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:58,833 Okay, I'll go up to my room and take a look. 48 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:08,750 I feel a little sad, I feel frustrated, and... 49 00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:11,667 a little disappointed when I think of the way 50 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:15,250 she has almost tried to hide the way we live, 51 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,708 for fear that it might tarnish the way 52 00:03:16,708 --> 00:03:18,250 other people view us. 53 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,667 All right. 54 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,417 Am I sitting on it? Oh, this one? 55 00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:23,250 I think you are, thank you. 56 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,708 Tajko is my only son, and... 57 00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:28,792 he's 17 years' old. 58 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,167 Because of my behavior... 59 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:35,292 he didn't have playdates and birthday parties. 60 00:03:35,292 --> 00:03:40,083 He didn't have the social life that he deserved. 61 00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:42,500 And sometimes I have said that it seems that 62 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,792 Tajko would be better off without me, 63 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,833 like I feel like I'm hurting him. 64 00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:50,500 My name is Nadene, 65 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:53,208 and I'm one of Lori's best friends. 66 00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:55,667 Her and I have been friends for nine years. 67 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:58,750 I have never seen the inside of her home. 68 00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,875 From what I'm told, 69 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:05,625 her hoarding issue is extreme. 70 00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:09,583 If Lori doesn't get help, I fear it's going to put 71 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,500 a strain on her relationship with Tajko because 72 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:16,958 he's going to feel like he was held back. 73 00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,167 Ah. 74 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,333 Dang. 75 00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:27,875 There's a lot of plumbing issues in this house that 76 00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,750 I haven't attended to. 77 00:04:29,875 --> 00:04:31,792 Right now we wash our hands in the bathtub 78 00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:35,250 in the upstairs bathroom because... 79 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:38,500 the tap on the sink is not working. 80 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,833 Then in the kitchen, you'll see more chaos. 81 00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:44,583 There's a dishwasher that hasn't worked for many years. 82 00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:47,667 And, one side of the sink doesn't drain. 83 00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:49,792 And then, in the downstairs bathroom, 84 00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:52,417 I honestly don't know if the bathtub and 85 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,375 sink are working, but I do know that the toilet 86 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,583 was leaking out the bottom. 87 00:04:56,583 --> 00:05:00,375 I haven't called a plumber to fix those problems. 88 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:04,125 I feel overwhelmed, and I feel ashamed, 89 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,167 and I feel embarrassed 90 00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,417 by the state of my home. 91 00:05:09,667 --> 00:05:13,042 I think I started collecting things 92 00:05:13,042 --> 00:05:15,542 when I really got into online shopping. 93 00:05:28,625 --> 00:05:32,375 The thing that is the biggest issue is clothing. 94 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,500 If I see something I like, 95 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,292 I want to get it in every color. 96 00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:40,542 There's a momentary high, you know, and I imagine... 97 00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:44,375 you know, that some outfit is going to be life changing. 98 00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:49,708 And, yet, when it arrives, I just feel overwhelmed and 99 00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:54,292 kind of dread because I think, ugh, I did it again, 100 00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:56,500 where am I gonna put this? 101 00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:05,167 I've spent 1000 bucks on clothes at a time, 102 00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:06,792 multiple times. 103 00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:11,458 There's an exercise machine in a box still that I ordered 104 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,833 from The Shopping Channel that was like 2 or $3,000. 105 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,750 It's still in the box because I don't know how to 106 00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:20,292 put it together, and I don't have room for it. 107 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:24,625 All this time I've spent buying this stuff, 108 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:27,708 when I think about that, how this money could have been 109 00:06:27,708 --> 00:06:31,458 directed toward Tajko's education, I feel awful. 110 00:06:34,917 --> 00:06:39,250 My name is Kathy, and I'm Lori's older sister. 111 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:41,542 My parents were collectors. 112 00:06:41,542 --> 00:06:45,958 More coming from a place of not wanting to waste, 113 00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:48,250 but saving things in case 114 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:51,583 they would be useful in some way. 115 00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:55,417 We had a really sort of casual lifestyle 116 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:58,125 when it was just my mom, but when my dad was home 117 00:06:58,125 --> 00:07:01,458 it was kind of more regimented. 118 00:07:01,458 --> 00:07:03,333 When my dad was coming home, 119 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:07,167 I felt anxiety and stress 120 00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:11,500 that my mom was also feeling because we knew he'd be 121 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:15,333 expecting the house to be a certain way. 122 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,958 And if we didn't meet his standards, 123 00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:21,167 the main worry that we had was that my mom 124 00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:23,667 would be the brunt of the criticism, 125 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:27,042 and we didn't like to see her endure that. 126 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,542 Growing up, it was stressful at times, too, 127 00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:40,625 because he had an issue with alcohol... 128 00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:44,875 and we would worry about where he was going to be at 129 00:07:44,875 --> 00:07:48,542 with his consumption in any given day. 130 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:52,000 I feel that Dad was living with trauma 131 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,167 from wartime experiences. 132 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:59,625 And my mum, you know, did not have good self-esteem. 133 00:07:59,625 --> 00:08:02,042 And part of it was coming from the way 134 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,417 she was treated by my dad. 135 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,750 When my parents passed away... 136 00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:10,833 and we were clearing the family home, you know, 137 00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:14,500 we found so many items, you know, 138 00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:18,833 that had been stashed away, like pantyhose to use 139 00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,667 for gardening, like to tie up your tomato plants or, 140 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,708 you know, bread, bread bag tabs or 141 00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:28,958 just everything saved, everywhere. 142 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:31,833 I think that that saving things in case they 143 00:08:31,833 --> 00:08:35,458 might be useful to her or to someone else, 144 00:08:35,458 --> 00:08:39,208 I think that it somewhat contributes to 145 00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:43,542 the difficulty in letting go. 146 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:47,750 My sister is quite the opposite of me. 147 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:50,250 She maintains her home and her belongings, 148 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:52,833 very organized. 149 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,958 I haven't reached out to my sister in the past because 150 00:08:55,958 --> 00:09:00,292 I felt too ashamed for her to see how we are living. 151 00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:01,917 I think she'll be shocked. 152 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,167 My name is Keith. 153 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,583 I'm Lori's ex and the father of our son, Tajko. 154 00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:09,500 We worked in the same tavern in Ottawa. 155 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:13,042 She always lit up the room when she came in. 156 00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:22,875 I got a job offer, here, and... 157 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,833 I asked him if he would like to come, and he did. 158 00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:29,208 We didn't know what to expect, we just knew that there was... 159 00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:31,750 good work to be had. 160 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,333 I was told the baby was not viable. 161 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:52,458 And, I could wait it out or be induced, 162 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,875 and I opted to be induced. 163 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,083 So, I went through a labor experience, 164 00:09:57,083 --> 00:10:03,042 and the baby was stillborn. So, very traumatic. 165 00:10:03,042 --> 00:10:05,375 Before she was pregnant, well, 166 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,000 I told Lori I was leaving, 167 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,042 and she told me she was pregnant. 168 00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:13,542 And I stayed, and... 169 00:10:13,542 --> 00:10:17,375 that episode brought us together. 170 00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,583 After that loss, I was... 171 00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:23,000 really heartbroken and really depressed. 172 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,417 She was dead set on getting pregnant again. 173 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,833 Tajko was born in March of 2005, 174 00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:41,833 and we were overjoyed to have him. 175 00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,500 My boy is perfect. 176 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:45,292 He was born 10 pounds, some odd ounces. 177 00:10:45,292 --> 00:10:47,000 He was huge. 178 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,625 Came out with a full head of hair. 179 00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:52,458 I could have swore he had teeth. 180 00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:54,583 No. 181 00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:59,333 He was kind of a miracle baby. 182 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,292 So, we were all super happy. 183 00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,833 When people would come to the home, 184 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:23,792 they rarely came farther than the front door. 185 00:11:23,792 --> 00:11:26,833 I know I was aware that seeing me keep buying and 186 00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:29,000 buying and buying was stressful for him. 187 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,000 He knew, you know, that we had other expenses to 188 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,958 attend to and other hopes for the future. 189 00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:38,375 So, I'm sure it was very frustrating. 190 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,792 I felt buried. 191 00:11:39,792 --> 00:11:44,083 I, I was very depressed. 192 00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:46,833 I remember Keith saying- he later retracted it- 193 00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:50,458 "You are a great person, but your problems, 194 00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:52,208 you know, outweigh the good." 195 00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:56,792 And that was something that really... 196 00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:58,792 kind of, I felt that. 197 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:12,667 Tajko was very sad and, you know, missed his papa. 198 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:15,083 I was more panicked as a single parent, 199 00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:17,750 wondering how was I going to survive, 200 00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:21,833 working full-time with a six-year-old child. 201 00:12:21,833 --> 00:12:26,042 I think my issue also got a lot worse when Keith and I 202 00:12:26,042 --> 00:12:28,792 parted ways because then there's no one here now 203 00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:32,000 to disapprove, so I'm going to get what I want. 204 00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:39,583 Keith hasn't seen the house in more than 10 years. 205 00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:41,333 When Tajko and I video chat, 206 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:43,042 he hides the house from me. 207 00:12:43,042 --> 00:12:45,667 He points the camera at the ceiling, mostly, 208 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:49,792 if he doesn't cover the camera with his face. 209 00:12:49,792 --> 00:12:51,500 This situation makes me 210 00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:54,917 angry in a lot of ways because 211 00:12:54,917 --> 00:12:57,583 I know that we could be doing something about it, 212 00:12:57,583 --> 00:13:00,042 but we aren't. 213 00:13:00,042 --> 00:13:03,583 It's very taxing on my mental health. 214 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,917 I do feel very trapped, 215 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,292 both in our home and in our town, 216 00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:20,708 because it's such a huge task to climb out of this 217 00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:24,042 figurative and literal hole we've dug ourselves. 218 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:28,333 I've tried to explain to her that the biggest thing 219 00:13:28,458 --> 00:13:32,125 keeping us both from being happy is the house. 220 00:13:32,125 --> 00:13:36,042 But as the child trying to instruct my parent, 221 00:13:36,042 --> 00:13:39,500 it's kind of an impossible challenge. 222 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:42,625 You know, he's talked about staying here an extra year, 223 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,042 you know, to work on the house because 224 00:13:44,042 --> 00:13:47,208 he doesn't feel that I would be safe. 225 00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:51,375 Where does she go if her home was taken away, 226 00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:54,167 because it's uninhabitable? Then what? 227 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,792 That, and your son. 228 00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,542 That really troubles me, that my problem and 229 00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:03,042 my behavior would further harm him. 230 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:04,167 I can't live like this anymore. 231 00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:15,292 An open-door policy is really 232 00:14:15,292 --> 00:14:17,000 the way of life here in Kugluktuk. 233 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,417 Most people don't lock their doors, 234 00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:22,417 and most people from here don't knock on the doors of 235 00:14:22,417 --> 00:14:26,167 their friends and family, they just walk in. 236 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:29,000 But I don't feel comfortable inviting people in my home 237 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,250 because of the way it looks. 238 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,042 I feel embarrassed and ashamed of the chaos. 239 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,250 Sometimes I feel like a fraud, 240 00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:43,125 when people call me things like generous and giving, 241 00:14:43,125 --> 00:14:45,292 because I look around myself, 242 00:14:45,292 --> 00:14:48,625 and I see so many things that I'm hanging on to. 243 00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:52,708 It makes me feel like what I try to project to the world 244 00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:55,542 is not like my real life at home. 245 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,333 My name is Sarah Ahmed. 246 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,167 I'm a psychotherapist that specializes in 247 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:23,625 problematic behaviors, including hoarding. 248 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,417 - Hi. - Hi, Lori? 249 00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:33,333 - Yes, I'm Lori. - Hi, Lori, I'm Sarah. 250 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,000 - Nice to meet you. - Oh, hi, Sarah. 251 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,750 So good to meet you, thanks for coming. 252 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,625 - This is big, this is huge. - It is. 253 00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:40,792 It's something I really wished for, for a long time. 254 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,333 Yeah? If it's okay with you, 255 00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,500 I'd love to go in, take a look. 256 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:45,083 Yeah, for sure. If you want to go ahead... 257 00:15:45,083 --> 00:15:46,833 - I'm sorry, it's really tight. - That's okay. 258 00:15:46,958 --> 00:15:48,167 But if we turn left, we'll be in the kitchen. 259 00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,917 Okay. 260 00:15:49,917 --> 00:15:51,667 Oh, the door doesn't open. 261 00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:54,167 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 262 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,708 To the left, you said? 263 00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,625 Yes, please, this is the kitchen. 264 00:15:57,625 --> 00:15:59,458 Okay, yep, I see a fridge here. 265 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,917 - Yeah. - Okay. 266 00:16:03,042 --> 00:16:05,500 Wow, that's a, a lot of stuff. 267 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:08,333 Yeah, way too much. 268 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:11,833 The dishwasher doesn't work. 269 00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:14,375 This side of the sink doesn't drain. 270 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:17,208 Okay, and so, are you washing the dishes on the left side? 271 00:16:17,208 --> 00:16:19,375 Mhm, washing and rinsing on that one. 272 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,833 It seems like you're also cooking a little bit... as well? 273 00:16:21,833 --> 00:16:24,500 Mhm, not, not so much. Just the stovetop. 274 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,000 We can't- the oven, we can't use the oven right now. 275 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,833 Yeah. Who lives here in the house with you, Lori? 276 00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:31,750 Ah, it's just me and my son, Tajko. 277 00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,667 He's 17. 278 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,542 For a lot of us, the kitchen is actually 279 00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:37,000 the heart of the home. 280 00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:39,458 And this is a space where we share memories together. 281 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:42,792 It seems like an incredibly sad space for a mother 282 00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:45,333 to make meals for her son. 283 00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:49,833 I know that my hoarding has hindered his social life. 284 00:16:49,833 --> 00:16:52,958 You know, he doesn't invite groups of friends in freely 285 00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:54,333 like he should be able to. 286 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,333 And, we haven't had birthday parties here for him. 287 00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,208 I have a lot of guilt and shame about that. 288 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:05,208 Here we have the laundry room. 289 00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:07,833 Mhm. It's a lot of clothes. 290 00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:10,167 Yeah, a lot of them have been washed and 291 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,333 laid out to dry and never put away. 292 00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:15,125 The dryer's not working right now. 293 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:17,208 And I see over there, there's a bathroom. 294 00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:21,333 Yeah, we don't use that one because the toilet's not good. 295 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:24,083 The water leaks out the bottom when you flush it. 296 00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:26,833 And how come you didn't have anybody come in to fix it? 297 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,292 Because of the mess, I guess. 298 00:17:28,292 --> 00:17:31,042 I haven't called anybody in because I'm embarrassed 299 00:17:31,042 --> 00:17:32,917 about the mess, and I haven't taken initiative 300 00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:34,292 to clean it up. 301 00:17:34,292 --> 00:17:36,500 Having access to a functional bathroom is 302 00:17:36,667 --> 00:17:40,167 one of the basic needs of every human being. 303 00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:42,250 - To the left here? - Yes, please. 304 00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:43,958 And that will be the living room. 305 00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:46,583 - Okay. - Common area. 306 00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:50,375 And is this where you spend most of your time? 307 00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:55,000 Not so much myself, but Tajko does spend a lot of time 308 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,167 particularly in this corner here 309 00:17:57,167 --> 00:18:01,208 where the TV and computer are. 310 00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,875 You know, this is, this is a table 311 00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:04,625 where he does his homework. 312 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,042 And these chairs, he plays a video game. 313 00:18:08,042 --> 00:18:09,625 Sometimes we sit here together and 314 00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,875 have our dinner together and watch a show. 315 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,500 Do you fight a lot? 316 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:16,792 The only time we do have conflict, really, 317 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,375 is usually when... 318 00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:21,250 when we are trying to work on the mess, 319 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,667 and he's got a different approach than I. 320 00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,083 So, what's your approach? 321 00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:27,250 Do you find you're a bit more passive and 322 00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:29,000 you kind of just back up? 323 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,500 I guess it's a, it's usually about, you know, 324 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,125 how we're going to categorize things, 325 00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:35,667 how we're going to sort through things. 326 00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:40,208 And, I'm really stuck on the need to feel like I need to 327 00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:43,542 go through every single item and decide for 328 00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:46,958 every single item, even if it's obviously trash. 329 00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:49,125 And so, of course, that's tough for him... 330 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:52,000 - Yeah. - And it's frustrating. 331 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000 So, I see there's a combination of 332 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,333 things over here. 333 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,208 Yeah, a ton of clothes, in a whole range of sizes. 334 00:18:58,208 --> 00:18:59,792 I gained a lot of weight recently, 335 00:18:59,792 --> 00:19:03,167 and so there's a lot of clothes that I'm hoping to 336 00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:06,000 get my weight down again and use them again. 337 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,375 Lori is holding on to this version of herself 338 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,875 from a few years ago, and feels as though if she 339 00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:14,625 went back to that version, she would be happier. 340 00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:18,000 What would you say the stuff represents? 341 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,542 You know, right now when I look at it, 342 00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:22,833 I just see sadness. 343 00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:25,042 You know, and- yeah. 344 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:31,417 And also a lot of, a lot of waste, like, you know, 345 00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:34,292 wasted- wasted money, wasted space. 346 00:19:34,292 --> 00:19:36,292 I wish I had, you know, put, 347 00:19:36,292 --> 00:19:40,250 put all the money towards something... 348 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:44,208 worthwhile, like Tajko's education and... 349 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:47,750 you know, left this space for him and I to use. 350 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:50,333 It's very evident that Lori feels like 351 00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,292 she's not good enough for her son, 352 00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:54,333 and that he deserves better. 353 00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:58,417 And there's so much guilt, so she tries to escape from it. 354 00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:01,208 And that escape can look like purchasing more items. 355 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,625 Well, I do know one thing, Lori... 356 00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,458 Neither you or me, we have a time machine, 357 00:20:05,458 --> 00:20:07,333 we can't go back in time. - Right. 358 00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,167 What I do know is we can do something, moving forward. 359 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:12,167 Yes, that's what I'm hoping for. 360 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,250 My job here is to give Lori the tools to let go of 361 00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:18,542 her past, and be able to see her future. 362 00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:21,417 She's got a lot of work to do to be able to get there. 363 00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,208 I notice the sink is, is full, 364 00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:29,250 so the sink is not being used? 365 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:30,417 It's not working right now. 366 00:20:30,417 --> 00:20:32,375 - Yeah, okay. - Yeah. 367 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:34,708 - And the door isn't opening... - The door, no. 368 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:37,167 So, you're not able to close the door to your bedroom 369 00:20:37,167 --> 00:20:38,875 as well, when you're using the bathroom, 370 00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:39,958 is that right, Lori? 371 00:20:39,958 --> 00:20:42,208 - Yeah, that's right. - Yeah. 372 00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:44,000 The shower and the tub do work, 373 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,625 but because the sink's not working, 374 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:48,750 after we use the toilet, we wash our hands at the tub. 375 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:53,125 In here is... 376 00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:55,000 my room, this is where I sleep. 377 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,917 That must not be comfortable. It doesn't look it. 378 00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:03,500 It's not comfortable at all. 379 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,208 You're eating over here as well? 380 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:07,333 Sometimes I eat up here. 381 00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:10,208 And the black bag right next to you, is that...? 382 00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:14,250 Trash. Mhm. 383 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:17,500 Waking up to a big bag of trash next to you is... 384 00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,458 It's not a way to live, it's no way to live, right. 385 00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:25,167 She's so ridden with guilt, and she feels so bad 386 00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:27,000 about not being able to provide for her son, 387 00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:30,750 that she chooses to punish herself by continuing to live 388 00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:34,667 in a space like this when she knows that it is not safe, 389 00:21:34,667 --> 00:21:37,583 hygienic, or healthy, by any means. 390 00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:39,583 I would like to live in a different way. 391 00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:41,750 I don't know if I deserve it because I'm the only one 392 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:44,917 that brought all this junk in here. 393 00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:47,333 Sometimes I think- 394 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:49,208 that Tajko would be better off without me. 395 00:22:01,417 --> 00:22:04,583 Sometimes, the nature of living here can be a 396 00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:07,167 challenge because of the varying degrees of light 397 00:22:07,167 --> 00:22:08,833 through the year. 398 00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:12,208 In the summer, we have 24 hours of daylight. 399 00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:14,167 And it's- sometimes your body doesn't know 400 00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,583 when it's time to go to bed. 401 00:22:16,708 --> 00:22:18,167 And then again in the winter, 402 00:22:18,167 --> 00:22:20,750 it's close to 24 hours of darkness. 403 00:22:20,875 --> 00:22:22,292 It can be dark when you walk to work and 404 00:22:22,292 --> 00:22:24,333 dark when you walk home. 405 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:27,333 Sometimes, we can be confined to our homes for 406 00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:29,833 days at a time because of weather. 407 00:22:29,833 --> 00:22:32,750 At those times, it doesn't feel good to be 408 00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:35,417 in this house amongst all this stuff. 409 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,583 - Hi, Papa. - There is only one. 410 00:23:00,583 --> 00:23:03,500 There is only- Long time no see. 411 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:06,000 - It's been a while. - Yeah. 412 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,667 - Geez. - Crazy. 413 00:23:08,667 --> 00:23:11,042 I kept imagining how big he must look. 414 00:23:11,042 --> 00:23:14,375 You don't quite get that when you're video chatting. 415 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:17,458 And to see him in person was great. 416 00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:19,792 - Hi, Kathy. - Hi, Taj. 417 00:23:19,792 --> 00:23:23,542 Hi, Keith. Thank you for coming. 418 00:23:23,542 --> 00:23:26,875 Her being brave enough to invite me 419 00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:29,333 makes me very grateful and proud of her. 420 00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:33,167 And I can't wait to help... 421 00:23:33,167 --> 00:23:37,500 because she would do it for me, too. 422 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,667 - It's a lot to take in. - Yeah. 423 00:23:41,958 --> 00:23:44,875 - I still think I'm dreaming. - Yeah. 424 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,375 I'm sure there's a lot of emotions that are going on. 425 00:23:49,375 --> 00:23:51,542 Lori, I know this is a huge, huge, huge deal, 426 00:23:51,542 --> 00:23:53,333 and you've got a lot of feelings about it. 427 00:23:53,458 --> 00:23:56,042 And you're very nervous and very anxious about 428 00:23:56,042 --> 00:23:58,167 your sister seeing your place for the first time. 429 00:23:58,167 --> 00:24:01,292 Keith also being in there after a very long time. Nervous? 430 00:24:01,292 --> 00:24:03,708 Nervous, really nervous, yeah. 431 00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,375 I'm going to invite our professional organizer, 432 00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:07,125 Kim Diamond. 433 00:24:07,125 --> 00:24:08,375 - Hello, everyone. - Hi, Kim. 434 00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:10,500 - Glad to meet you all. - Thank you. 435 00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,417 Happy to meet you. 436 00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:13,667 My name is Kim Diamond, 437 00:24:13,667 --> 00:24:15,667 and I'm a certified professional organizer, 438 00:24:15,667 --> 00:24:19,375 specializing in hoarding disorder and hoarding behaviors. 439 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:20,792 - Lori, I'll be here with you. - Okay, thank you. 440 00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:23,250 Me, you, and Tajko, we're going to be over here, 441 00:24:23,375 --> 00:24:25,875 and we'll let Kim, Kathy, and Keith go in. 442 00:24:26,042 --> 00:24:26,833 - Okay. - Okay? 443 00:24:26,958 --> 00:24:28,667 Yeah. 444 00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:40,333 Take a deep breath, just remind yourself 445 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:41,333 she's here to help. 446 00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:43,375 Yeah. 447 00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:53,458 ♪ [Quiet instrumental growing in intensity] ♪ 448 00:24:58,417 --> 00:24:59,167 ♪ [Quiet instrumental growing in intensity] ♪ 449 00:25:13,375 --> 00:25:16,917 What are you feeling right now? 450 00:25:16,917 --> 00:25:21,375 That the love between my sister and Tajko... 451 00:25:25,792 --> 00:25:28,958 ...is above the effects of this problem. 452 00:25:28,958 --> 00:25:31,167 It's a pretty difficult problem, yeah. 453 00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:33,833 What about you, Keith? 454 00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:37,750 I just have cuss words in my head. 455 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:42,500 She said it was worse, I couldn't fathom. 456 00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:44,333 So, would you say it's like twice as bad as 457 00:25:44,333 --> 00:25:45,667 when you last saw? At least? 458 00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:47,500 Yeah, it's at least twice as bad. 459 00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:51,000 Yeah? So, as you can see, 460 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:56,000 this is not a safe place to eat or cook. 461 00:25:56,125 --> 00:25:59,333 There's a lot of safety hazards just in this one room. 462 00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:01,250 You alright, Kathy? 463 00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:02,875 Yeah, it's overwhelming. 464 00:26:02,875 --> 00:26:05,333 I can see it on both your faces. 465 00:26:27,375 --> 00:26:29,792 What are you thinking? 466 00:26:29,792 --> 00:26:32,000 My boy. 467 00:26:36,417 --> 00:26:37,750 If there was ever a fire in that house, 468 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,500 there's so much stuff to get through, that... 469 00:26:40,625 --> 00:26:43,917 getting out unscathed would be a miracle. 470 00:26:43,917 --> 00:26:45,708 This is Geezer. 471 00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:48,625 He's been dead for a couple of years. 472 00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:50,833 - Was that a cat or a dog? - Cat. 473 00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:54,458 He always used to sleep here. 474 00:26:54,458 --> 00:26:56,292 But as you can see this... 475 00:26:56,292 --> 00:26:57,708 we can't see the floor. 476 00:26:57,708 --> 00:26:58,875 - Yeah. - Yeah. 477 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,958 This stuff is closing in on them. 478 00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:09,333 - This is Tajko's room? - Yeah. 479 00:27:17,167 --> 00:27:20,125 It's no fair, is it? 480 00:27:20,125 --> 00:27:24,667 Lori's filled that room up, and that's a danger to Tajko. 481 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,667 It's a massive fire hazard. 482 00:27:26,667 --> 00:27:30,833 I can see the sadness in their faces. 483 00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:33,208 Everywhere I turn in this house: 484 00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:34,667 hazard, hazard, hazard. 485 00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:36,625 It's going to be really tough. 486 00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:38,125 Her mattress. 487 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:45,750 Oh, that makes me sad. 488 00:27:45,750 --> 00:27:46,875 It's hard to believe she'd get 489 00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:49,500 a good night's sleep in here. 490 00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:51,875 We're not even on the ground, we're standing on stuff. 491 00:27:51,875 --> 00:27:56,042 - On stuff, yeah. - And again... 492 00:27:56,042 --> 00:27:58,333 Can't get out this door, can't- you know, 493 00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:02,000 this is, this is impossible. 494 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,625 I need the family to come together here, 495 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:07,542 support Lori and be a really important part of 496 00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:10,542 this process, or I can't get it done. 497 00:28:10,542 --> 00:28:12,917 And right now, they're so overwhelmed, 498 00:28:12,917 --> 00:28:15,292 I don't know if they're going to be able to handle this. 499 00:28:15,292 --> 00:28:18,667 It's an emergency situation. 500 00:28:18,667 --> 00:28:20,792 Yeah, it is, it is. 501 00:28:36,167 --> 00:28:37,917 Lori's saying that she's ready for this, 502 00:28:37,917 --> 00:28:40,417 but I'm really not sure. 503 00:28:40,417 --> 00:28:43,167 Tajko's looking to move away and start his life. 504 00:28:43,167 --> 00:28:45,833 But, he wants to do that without having to worry about 505 00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:48,333 his mom's safety or her mental health. 506 00:29:02,083 --> 00:29:05,833 - Oh, my God. - I'm so sorry. 507 00:29:05,833 --> 00:29:07,792 Maybe we can go right to the living room. 508 00:29:07,792 --> 00:29:09,000 Just let me stand on the step and 509 00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:11,500 we're going to go that way. 510 00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:13,417 Oh my. 511 00:29:15,458 --> 00:29:16,958 I'm sorry, I'm sorry to put you through this. 512 00:29:16,958 --> 00:29:19,667 You don't be sorry, because that's not something- 513 00:29:19,667 --> 00:29:21,542 You're not putting me through anything. 514 00:29:21,542 --> 00:29:25,000 I'm in this for the long haul. 515 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,875 This is a different set up for somebody 516 00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,667 who's dealing with an issue in their life. 517 00:29:29,667 --> 00:29:32,125 It isn't a quiet meeting or something. 518 00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:34,500 You're exposing yourself to everybody, 519 00:29:34,625 --> 00:29:38,167 and you're having to deal with everything right away. 520 00:29:38,333 --> 00:29:40,583 Her friends have to be there for her. 521 00:29:40,708 --> 00:29:42,542 And I will, and we will. 522 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,083 These are not pros, they have not been trained. 523 00:30:01,083 --> 00:30:03,958 I hope they can handle this huge task, 524 00:30:03,958 --> 00:30:06,000 'cause this is not for the faint of heart. 525 00:30:07,958 --> 00:30:09,750 One theme that comes up with Lori often, 526 00:30:09,750 --> 00:30:11,958 is how people perceive her. 527 00:30:11,958 --> 00:30:14,667 Lori is going to be facing her biggest fear, 528 00:30:14,667 --> 00:30:17,542 which is having to open up her door to invite 529 00:30:17,667 --> 00:30:19,667 members of her community to go in. 530 00:30:19,667 --> 00:30:24,750 And this is something she's never done. 531 00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:25,875 Welcome, everybody. 532 00:30:25,875 --> 00:30:27,667 Thank you so much for being here. 533 00:30:27,792 --> 00:30:29,333 - How's everyone feeling? - Good. 534 00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:32,208 - Great. - Yeah? Big day. 535 00:30:32,208 --> 00:30:34,667 I am so happy to see this number of people here 536 00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:36,333 supporting you, Lori. 537 00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:38,000 We're harnessing the power of community, 538 00:30:38,125 --> 00:30:40,917 and we have this amazing team here behind me. 539 00:30:40,917 --> 00:30:42,792 We've got a big task ahead. 540 00:30:42,792 --> 00:30:44,000 Mm-hm. 541 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,917 Lots of emotions, lots of hard work. 542 00:30:46,042 --> 00:30:47,708 In my wildest dreams, 543 00:30:47,833 --> 00:30:49,667 I didn't really think it would be possible. 544 00:30:49,667 --> 00:30:51,125 And here we are. 545 00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:53,833 It's a miracle, it feels like a miracle. 546 00:30:53,833 --> 00:30:55,875 What I need to know from you is, 547 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000 do I have your permission to go in the house? 548 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,292 And, do we have your permission- and I mean, 549 00:31:00,292 --> 00:31:04,375 we, all of us here- to decide if there's garbage, 550 00:31:04,375 --> 00:31:06,542 can we just immediately get rid of that and 551 00:31:06,542 --> 00:31:07,667 not have to check with you? 552 00:31:07,792 --> 00:31:09,000 Yes, please. 553 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,750 If we think it's not salvageable any way and 554 00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:12,667 it looks like garbage, that's an okay? 555 00:31:12,667 --> 00:31:13,958 - It's okay. - Confirmed. 556 00:31:13,958 --> 00:31:16,000 We got that, team? All right. 557 00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:18,917 My concern is, is her definition of garbage and 558 00:31:19,042 --> 00:31:21,667 our definition of garbage the same thing?' 559 00:31:21,667 --> 00:31:23,625 'Cause often it's not. 560 00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:29,333 So here, let's grab some corners, let's lay these out. 561 00:31:29,333 --> 00:31:31,167 Great. 562 00:31:31,167 --> 00:31:33,500 I'm amazed at the range of people that have 563 00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:35,333 shown up to help today. 564 00:31:35,333 --> 00:31:37,792 We have teenagers all the way up to grandmothers, 565 00:31:37,792 --> 00:31:39,833 and that's amazing. 566 00:31:39,958 --> 00:31:42,458 That shows how much Lori matters to this community, 567 00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:44,833 and it's clear how much they care about her. 568 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:46,875 Take this out and then pull things out. 569 00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:49,583 Again, papers and books, keep. 570 00:31:49,583 --> 00:31:52,750 Get this porch all cleared. 571 00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:55,500 My plan always starts with safety first. 572 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:57,167 I need to clear the entryway 573 00:31:57,167 --> 00:31:59,167 so the front door can open fully. 574 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,125 Right now, there's no way. 575 00:32:17,042 --> 00:32:18,500 - Okay. - That can definitely go. 576 00:32:18,500 --> 00:32:19,833 I'm seeing papers. 577 00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:21,500 Yeah, these papers can go, please. 578 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:24,292 Not only do we have to separate the garbage- 579 00:32:24,417 --> 00:32:27,542 the things to get rid of- from usable items, 580 00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:30,833 but I've got to make the most of this to get as much stuff 581 00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:32,708 to this community donation event that 582 00:32:32,708 --> 00:32:34,125 we're doing at the end. 583 00:32:34,125 --> 00:32:37,417 I've got a lot to pull off in a short amount of time. 584 00:32:37,417 --> 00:32:38,375 Yeah, the boxes- 585 00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:40,167 Okay, so look, look at that, yeah. 586 00:32:40,167 --> 00:32:42,333 And then, if we find any... 587 00:32:42,333 --> 00:32:45,833 if we find any stray pots and pans inside, 588 00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:47,667 I'll be happy to donate those ones and 589 00:32:47,667 --> 00:32:48,750 replace them with a set. 590 00:32:48,750 --> 00:32:49,917 Yeah, start new. 591 00:32:49,917 --> 00:32:52,042 Yeah, that table can be donated. 592 00:32:52,042 --> 00:32:53,875 These have seen better days. 593 00:32:53,875 --> 00:32:55,458 They're sitting in water, okay, 594 00:32:55,458 --> 00:32:57,833 so I'm pretty sure most of the stuff in here 595 00:32:57,833 --> 00:32:59,708 is rusted and can go. 596 00:32:59,708 --> 00:33:01,125 - Yeah. - Okay. 597 00:33:01,125 --> 00:33:02,958 And a box of brand new hangers... 598 00:33:02,958 --> 00:33:04,125 probably a keep? 599 00:33:04,125 --> 00:33:05,833 I would like to keep those, please. 600 00:33:05,833 --> 00:33:08,917 So, we will keep those. You're doing great. 601 00:33:08,917 --> 00:33:10,500 Thank you, feels good. 602 00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:11,708 - It does? - Yeah. 603 00:33:11,708 --> 00:33:13,500 Oh! See what we've got here? 604 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:15,792 - Looks like trash. - It looks kind of rough. 605 00:33:15,792 --> 00:33:19,667 - Yeah. - Trash, please, yep. 606 00:33:19,667 --> 00:33:21,208 How's that feel? Is it all wet? 607 00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:24,167 Does it smell, I can't- My sense of smell is really bad. 608 00:33:24,167 --> 00:33:26,833 - Whoa! - Really bad? 609 00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:28,125 - Yep. - Okay, we're throwing it. 610 00:33:28,125 --> 00:33:30,167 - That's going. - Okay. 611 00:33:30,292 --> 00:33:32,958 - I got a good sense of smell. - Okay, yeah. 612 00:33:32,958 --> 00:33:35,333 - Great decision. - Thanks. 613 00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:38,250 It's, it's helping me a lot, working with you. 614 00:33:38,375 --> 00:33:39,708 I wouldn't, I probably wouldn't have 615 00:33:39,708 --> 00:33:40,958 done that by myself. 616 00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:42,708 Well, it's like having a trainer at the gym. 617 00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:46,167 You tend to do more reps and get more out of your workout 618 00:33:46,167 --> 00:33:48,708 when you have the pro standing with you. 619 00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:52,167 Oh my God, that's crazy. 620 00:33:52,167 --> 00:33:55,167 Look what's going way to the- look what's going to the dump. 621 00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:57,375 That's awesome. 622 00:34:00,167 --> 00:34:01,458 I thought this would be one of the more 623 00:34:01,458 --> 00:34:03,208 challenging parts, too, so I'm looking forward to 624 00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:05,667 how the rest of the house moves along. 625 00:34:05,667 --> 00:34:07,833 - Yeah, I'm on a roll. - Can I give you a hug? 626 00:34:07,833 --> 00:34:10,750 Please. 627 00:34:10,750 --> 00:34:14,208 - Thank you. - Thank you, too. 628 00:34:14,333 --> 00:34:17,917 It's clear that Lori is ready for this process. 629 00:34:17,917 --> 00:34:18,958 She's done some work. 630 00:34:19,417 --> 00:34:22,250 However, it almost is too easy right now, so I'm... 631 00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:25,875 I've got my little warning signs and warning bells 632 00:34:25,875 --> 00:34:29,333 going off, and I just want to make sure that this is real. 633 00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:32,500 Because often, it may start quickly that way, 634 00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:34,333 but then come to a grinding halt when we hit 635 00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:36,458 one item that triggers something. 636 00:34:36,458 --> 00:34:38,000 And I don't know what those are. 637 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,417 It could happen at any time. 638 00:34:58,542 --> 00:35:00,167 We've cleared the entryway and 639 00:35:00,167 --> 00:35:02,000 a little bit into the kitchen. 640 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,875 And all of that is out on tarps, 641 00:35:03,875 --> 00:35:06,583 and it is a lot of stuff. 642 00:35:06,583 --> 00:35:10,208 It looks like the contents of a house are out on the grass 643 00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:12,167 on those tarps, but it's actually a very, 644 00:35:12,292 --> 00:35:15,625 very small space in the house. 645 00:35:15,625 --> 00:35:17,458 Here we go. 646 00:35:19,292 --> 00:35:20,500 - You're holding that end? - Yeah. 647 00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:21,500 Awesome. 648 00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:23,208 In order for this job to get done, 649 00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:25,667 it's important that two things happen: 650 00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:28,167 Lori still feels like she has control, 651 00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:29,667 but at the same time, 652 00:35:29,667 --> 00:35:32,542 she's got to allow her trusted family members, 653 00:35:32,542 --> 00:35:35,458 or even friends, to make decisions on her behalf. 654 00:35:35,458 --> 00:35:37,333 Otherwise, this is impossible. 655 00:35:37,333 --> 00:35:39,750 There's no way we can get this amount of stuff 656 00:35:39,875 --> 00:35:43,167 sorted and dealt with. No way. 657 00:35:43,167 --> 00:35:45,542 Okay, so that can junk, right behind you, if you like... 658 00:35:45,542 --> 00:35:46,667 Junk, okay. 659 00:35:46,667 --> 00:35:49,083 But I think we'll send this up for sorting. 660 00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:52,500 Oh, yeah. Um... 661 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:55,625 Yeah, this is garbage 'cause it's been scratched. 662 00:35:55,625 --> 00:35:56,667 Okay. 663 00:35:56,667 --> 00:35:59,667 This is garbage, right behind you. 664 00:36:02,167 --> 00:36:04,792 She is letting go without looking. 665 00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:06,458 That worries me a bit because 666 00:36:06,458 --> 00:36:08,333 I don't want her to have regret. 667 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:11,750 How about I have you two go up and sort together? 668 00:36:11,750 --> 00:36:13,417 Because I think you make a pretty good team on that. 669 00:36:13,542 --> 00:36:14,417 Yep. 670 00:36:14,542 --> 00:36:15,583 And you can help each other with maybe 671 00:36:15,583 --> 00:36:17,000 some of the tougher decisions. 672 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,292 - Sure. - Alright, sounds good. 673 00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:20,292 - Devil's advocate. - Yep. 674 00:36:20,292 --> 00:36:23,583 Lori and Tajko are heading up to work on the tarped areas. 675 00:36:23,708 --> 00:36:25,708 I've got to get into this kitchen because 676 00:36:25,708 --> 00:36:27,417 there's a lot to deal with. 677 00:36:29,833 --> 00:36:32,333 There is a lot of food that should have been refrigerated 678 00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:33,708 that's sitting out on the counter, 679 00:36:33,708 --> 00:36:35,667 like salad dressings and mayonnaise. 680 00:36:35,667 --> 00:36:38,167 And, I'm scared they've been eating that. 681 00:36:38,167 --> 00:36:41,167 So, we have to get that stuff out of there, 682 00:36:41,167 --> 00:36:44,583 and make sure there's only safe food left. 683 00:36:44,708 --> 00:36:46,833 I've got to make this kitchen clean and usable again. 684 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,000 Is this a good shirt to wear one day? 685 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,417 What?! 686 00:37:12,542 --> 00:37:14,458 Can you put this on the keep pile, please? 687 00:37:14,458 --> 00:37:16,042 - Ah... - Will it fit you? 688 00:37:16,167 --> 00:37:17,833 - That's Taj. - Really? 689 00:37:17,833 --> 00:37:19,500 - Yeah, can you keep that, Taj? - I guess. 690 00:37:19,625 --> 00:37:21,583 Can you put this one there too, please? 691 00:37:21,583 --> 00:37:24,333 - Okay... - Let's keep that. 692 00:37:24,333 --> 00:37:26,042 - Is there stuff in here? - I like to keep these. 693 00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:28,333 These are ski pants that I can fit. 694 00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,708 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. 695 00:37:30,833 --> 00:37:33,750 Okay, I'm just taking a few keeps here. 696 00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:36,250 When it comes to my mom, she needs to look at each thing 697 00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,333 individually, and that's a little frustrating to me. 698 00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:42,833 Would you ever wear snowboard pants like this, Taj? 699 00:37:42,833 --> 00:37:44,167 Okay. 700 00:37:44,167 --> 00:37:46,167 - Child hat. - Barb made that. 701 00:37:46,167 --> 00:37:48,958 With a bonus inside it... Wood picks. 702 00:37:48,958 --> 00:37:51,583 Oh! Keep those, please, those were gifted to us. 703 00:37:51,708 --> 00:37:53,000 Okay. 704 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,000 I do think I'd have greater relief just kind of 705 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,625 letting this all go at once. 706 00:37:59,625 --> 00:38:01,667 I know, I'm trying to get there, but I'm not there yet. 707 00:38:01,792 --> 00:38:03,208 Yeah, it's stressing me out right now. 708 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:05,792 - What? - It's stressing me out now. 709 00:38:06,958 --> 00:38:08,292 Because you know there's thousands in there, 710 00:38:08,292 --> 00:38:09,833 and we'll never get rid of it all at once. 711 00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:12,583 Or, unless we decide for them all at once. 712 00:38:12,583 --> 00:38:13,833 I'm sorry, honey, I'm trying to get there, 713 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:15,167 but I'm not there yet. 714 00:38:15,167 --> 00:38:16,958 - I'm just warming up, okay? - I know. 715 00:38:16,958 --> 00:38:18,167 Can you be patient with me, please? 716 00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:21,000 I'll try to be. 717 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,125 I feel like I need to see a little bit more of the stuff 718 00:38:24,125 --> 00:38:26,125 that's coming from inside. 719 00:38:26,125 --> 00:38:28,375 Or that I would like to. 720 00:38:28,375 --> 00:38:30,167 I've seen her like this before, 721 00:38:30,167 --> 00:38:32,625 and whenever we try to go through things, 722 00:38:32,625 --> 00:38:37,083 she seems to need to be in charge of every single item. 723 00:38:37,083 --> 00:38:38,542 Even though this needs to be washed, 724 00:38:38,542 --> 00:38:40,542 you want to keep this, right? - No. 725 00:38:40,542 --> 00:38:43,000 See how I'm not looking at it, and saying no? 726 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,417 Okay. 727 00:38:44,417 --> 00:38:45,583 I'm at the point where 728 00:38:45,583 --> 00:38:46,833 I don't have to look at it, you know? 729 00:38:46,833 --> 00:38:47,833 Okay. 730 00:38:47,833 --> 00:38:49,833 I can understand her difficulty a little bit. 731 00:38:49,833 --> 00:38:51,917 There's some things here and there that I, myself, 732 00:38:52,042 --> 00:38:55,042 would like to keep, but I know that it's past the 733 00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:57,542 point of no return and that we need to do our best 734 00:38:57,542 --> 00:39:00,667 to get things out of the house. 735 00:39:00,667 --> 00:39:03,167 She says things like, "Oh, I feel so bad for 736 00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:04,583 the way I raised my boy. I wish I could have 737 00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:07,750 given him a better upbringing in this house." 738 00:39:07,750 --> 00:39:10,417 And at the same time, she says, like, 739 00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:12,625 she needs to go through all of these clothes and 740 00:39:12,625 --> 00:39:14,375 keep some of these items. 741 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:15,917 So, that makes me mad a little 742 00:39:15,917 --> 00:39:18,000 'cause it's- it feels a little hypocritical. 743 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,333 And I'm trying to- 744 00:39:19,333 --> 00:39:21,000 We knew that there'd be sticky spots. 745 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,833 Yeah, for sure, for sure. 746 00:39:26,458 --> 00:39:28,083 Keith actually seems a little bit distant 747 00:39:28,083 --> 00:39:29,833 from Lori and his son. 748 00:39:29,833 --> 00:39:32,000 But I'm just going to see how things play out, 749 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,333 because sometimes ex-partners need a little bit of time 750 00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:38,167 to warm up to each other. 751 00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:40,333 Oh, I want to keep these. 752 00:39:40,333 --> 00:39:42,458 This is my oldest item of clothing. 753 00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:51,000 There's so much stuff to go through. 754 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,833 And if Lori is going to keep analyzing every single item, 755 00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:55,417 there is no way we're going to get through 756 00:39:55,417 --> 00:39:57,125 this entire house. 757 00:39:59,458 --> 00:40:00,750 - Mama. - Uh-huh? 758 00:40:00,750 --> 00:40:04,333 We have your boxes ready for you to look. 759 00:40:04,333 --> 00:40:05,833 We're going to show you what's in them and 760 00:40:05,958 --> 00:40:07,167 hope that you approve. 761 00:40:07,167 --> 00:40:09,208 Okay. 762 00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:12,167 There's quite a number of new, 763 00:40:12,167 --> 00:40:14,667 never-used items of clothing in here. 764 00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:16,083 We both agree that these are things that 765 00:40:16,083 --> 00:40:19,833 we don't need in the house and... 766 00:40:19,833 --> 00:40:22,167 are better in the use of other people. 767 00:40:22,167 --> 00:40:25,125 Okay... Okay. 768 00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:27,833 - You approve of that? - Um... 769 00:40:27,833 --> 00:40:30,250 I, I'm, I- I got to be honest, 770 00:40:30,250 --> 00:40:32,958 it's hard for me to not want to see what all is in there. 771 00:40:32,958 --> 00:40:35,417 You'd maybe like to, but wouldn't you- 772 00:40:35,417 --> 00:40:38,917 If you had the two options, to keep them or live in 773 00:40:38,917 --> 00:40:41,833 a cleaner room, I think I know the answer. 774 00:40:41,833 --> 00:40:42,833 - Right. - Right? 775 00:40:42,833 --> 00:40:44,333 And so, we're choosing the latter right now. 776 00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:45,708 If you have been managing without them... 777 00:40:45,708 --> 00:40:49,333 Yeah, so you don't need to see them, frankly. 778 00:40:49,333 --> 00:40:53,500 And I hope you can get towards that. 779 00:40:53,500 --> 00:40:55,375 Mm-hm. 780 00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:58,417 Thank you for getting closer. 781 00:40:58,542 --> 00:41:00,667 Yeah, I don't know how to express it. 782 00:41:04,292 --> 00:41:07,125 Difficult feelings, like, and... 783 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:16,625 Like it's, it's hard for me to hear you saying 784 00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:18,250 you don't need this, you don't need this, 785 00:41:18,250 --> 00:41:19,875 you don't need this, you know? 786 00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:22,667 But it's just, it's just, it's my disorder talking, 787 00:41:22,667 --> 00:41:24,583 you know, that... 788 00:41:24,708 --> 00:41:27,208 it distorts it to hear it that way. 789 00:41:27,208 --> 00:41:30,208 And... 790 00:41:30,208 --> 00:41:32,000 Right. 791 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,667 It's just- it just doesn't sit well and... 792 00:41:35,667 --> 00:41:37,500 I have to work through it. 793 00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:39,250 She thinks we're fighting against her, 794 00:41:39,375 --> 00:41:41,833 but really I know that this is just her way of expressing 795 00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:45,500 that it's an overwhelming situation to face the problem 796 00:41:45,625 --> 00:41:49,083 we've been living through for a long time. 797 00:41:49,208 --> 00:41:53,375 It's not as easy as I was hoping it was gonna be. 798 00:41:53,375 --> 00:41:55,333 So, think of how much smaller the task is 799 00:41:55,333 --> 00:41:57,833 if we just accept that it's gone already. 800 00:41:57,833 --> 00:42:01,333 You mean just take all these as they are? 801 00:42:01,333 --> 00:42:04,042 More or less. 802 00:42:04,042 --> 00:42:08,250 Half the battle is accepting that it's already done for 803 00:42:08,250 --> 00:42:10,875 and there's no way to make use of all these items now, 804 00:42:10,875 --> 00:42:14,958 so looking at it is kind of a waste of time. 805 00:42:14,958 --> 00:42:17,667 Okay, so what is the best thing for me to do, I wonder? 806 00:42:17,667 --> 00:42:20,042 I would say, in a way, Mama, nothing. 807 00:42:20,042 --> 00:42:21,292 It's best to do nothing... 808 00:42:21,292 --> 00:42:23,292 Go away? Like... 809 00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:26,000 I'm just checking in. Lori, I'm just checking in. 810 00:42:26,125 --> 00:42:27,000 How are you doing? 811 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,500 I'm sorry that I have this disorder. 812 00:42:28,500 --> 00:42:29,958 You don't have to apologize. 813 00:42:29,958 --> 00:42:32,667 No, I feel like I do because I know it's hard to 814 00:42:32,667 --> 00:42:35,667 understand when you don't think the way I do but... 815 00:42:39,833 --> 00:42:44,083 You never have to apologize for your disorder. 816 00:42:46,167 --> 00:42:48,875 - Thank you. - Okay? 817 00:42:48,875 --> 00:42:50,375 Thanks. 818 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,833 The most frustrating thing is 819 00:42:52,833 --> 00:42:55,500 the power of old ways of thinking. 820 00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:57,792 To see my sister suffer and then say, 821 00:42:57,792 --> 00:43:00,083 I'm sorry, when it's really a disorder, 822 00:43:00,208 --> 00:43:02,167 that makes it hard. 823 00:43:02,292 --> 00:43:03,333 - I love you guys. - Love you. 824 00:43:03,333 --> 00:43:05,250 Thanks, Sarah. 825 00:43:07,667 --> 00:43:09,042 I don't know. I just don't, I really- 826 00:43:09,042 --> 00:43:10,250 I just don't know what to do next. 827 00:43:10,250 --> 00:43:12,000 Will you take this Rubbermaid? 828 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,833 Take it? Take it to the donation? 829 00:43:13,833 --> 00:43:15,042 I can take it, I'd like to. 830 00:43:15,042 --> 00:43:16,667 Okay. 831 00:43:16,833 --> 00:43:19,042 I'm happy you can let something go. 832 00:43:19,042 --> 00:43:20,667 Yeah. 833 00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:22,417 Lori needs to remember that everyone is here 834 00:43:22,417 --> 00:43:23,958 to support her. 835 00:43:23,958 --> 00:43:25,833 And she has to trust her friends and family 836 00:43:25,833 --> 00:43:28,208 to make difficult decisions. 837 00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:33,083 We had a lot of wins today, 838 00:43:33,083 --> 00:43:35,875 but we barely made a dent in the house. 839 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,625 And we're already overwhelming her so, 840 00:43:38,625 --> 00:43:41,917 with day two tomorrow, if Lori shuts down, 841 00:43:41,917 --> 00:43:44,000 there's no way we're getting this done. 842 00:44:03,167 --> 00:44:06,458 Waking up to a big bag of trash next to you is... 843 00:44:06,458 --> 00:44:07,833 It's not a way to live. 844 00:44:07,833 --> 00:44:09,542 It's no way to live, right. 845 00:44:15,917 --> 00:44:18,542 It's not as easy as I was hoping it was gonna be. 846 00:44:18,542 --> 00:44:20,375 It's stressing me out now. 847 00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:23,208 Imagining and actually doing are two different things so, 848 00:44:23,208 --> 00:44:26,583 Lori seeing her stuff actually leaving on the truck 849 00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:29,333 and going to the dump is hard. 850 00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:30,708 And that's going to bring out 851 00:44:30,833 --> 00:44:33,500 even more emotions every time a truck leaves. 852 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:34,625 It could increase her anxiety, 853 00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:35,875 it could shut her down. 854 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,167 I really hope she can do this. 855 00:44:51,167 --> 00:44:53,500 Good morning, everyone. How's everyone doing? 856 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:55,000 - Good morning. - Great. 857 00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:58,292 Lori, your energy yesterday, your motivation, 858 00:44:58,292 --> 00:45:00,833 your progress through the porch was incredible. 859 00:45:00,833 --> 00:45:02,500 And I think it's safe to say 860 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,667 we were all so, so proud of you. 861 00:45:04,667 --> 00:45:07,958 - Mhm, thanks. - However, I did notice... 862 00:45:07,958 --> 00:45:10,917 As we slowly started to move to the bags of clothing, 863 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,042 there was a bit of resistance. 864 00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:14,000 - Yes. - What was coming up? 865 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,917 Um... 866 00:45:15,917 --> 00:45:18,667 I guess I'd call it anxiety. 867 00:45:18,667 --> 00:45:22,167 And, you know, worry that when others were helping 868 00:45:22,167 --> 00:45:26,000 make decisions that they would donate one of the 869 00:45:26,125 --> 00:45:28,083 few things that I do actually use. 870 00:45:28,083 --> 00:45:30,667 Letting go of all of those bins yesterday 871 00:45:30,667 --> 00:45:32,667 was a huge moment. 872 00:45:32,667 --> 00:45:34,500 And I just want you to remember that moment and 873 00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:37,667 bring that energy back to all the tasks 874 00:45:37,667 --> 00:45:39,500 we're going to be doing today. 875 00:45:39,500 --> 00:45:41,792 Yesterday, we basically got kind of 876 00:45:41,792 --> 00:45:44,000 one and a half rooms done, and that resulted in 877 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,083 a pretty big mountain of stuff here... 878 00:45:46,208 --> 00:45:49,125 and two and a half truckloads of garbage, 879 00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:50,667 which is fantastic. 880 00:45:50,667 --> 00:45:52,292 But that was one and a half rooms. 881 00:45:52,292 --> 00:45:55,333 We've got three big rooms to do today. 882 00:45:55,458 --> 00:45:58,250 that's to clear another exit/entrance 883 00:45:58,250 --> 00:46:00,292 to the house. Very important for safety. 884 00:46:00,292 --> 00:46:02,625 The laundry room, and the living room. 885 00:46:02,625 --> 00:46:04,042 A lot of clothing in there. 886 00:46:04,167 --> 00:46:06,292 And, some of that stuff might be hard for you 887 00:46:06,292 --> 00:46:09,333 because you've identified clothing as your hot spot. 888 00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:12,208 Sarah's going to be with you every step of the way when 889 00:46:12,208 --> 00:46:15,167 you need that kind of support or if you hit a roadblock. 890 00:46:15,167 --> 00:46:18,500 Nadene is here ready to take those donations to the 891 00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:20,708 community donation day that's happening tomorrow, 892 00:46:20,708 --> 00:46:22,750 so that we can get these amazing, 893 00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:24,917 useful things that are no longer of use to you, 894 00:46:24,917 --> 00:46:26,792 back into the community. 895 00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:29,375 So, there will be a tsunami of stuff coming out. 896 00:46:29,375 --> 00:46:30,667 Alright. 897 00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:32,875 But you've got an amazing team of support right 898 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:36,083 beside you here, that are ready and willing to help you. 899 00:46:36,083 --> 00:46:39,833 Knowing me, I may lapse in my clarity. 900 00:46:39,833 --> 00:46:41,833 So, feel free to remind me 901 00:46:41,833 --> 00:46:44,250 what I promised you all, please. 902 00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:47,417 And thank you for being here... everyone. 903 00:46:50,167 --> 00:46:52,292 Let's, let's put leggings... 904 00:46:52,292 --> 00:46:56,500 Lori's given us permission to throw out obvious garbage. 905 00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:57,833 And I want to capitalize on 906 00:46:57,833 --> 00:46:59,875 the progress we've made so far. 907 00:46:59,875 --> 00:47:01,958 There are going to be some challenges that were inside 908 00:47:01,958 --> 00:47:04,083 of the house, bringing things outside to Lori, 909 00:47:04,083 --> 00:47:07,333 that are a little harder for her to get rid of. 910 00:47:07,333 --> 00:47:10,958 I'm instructing the crew to really be more diligent about 911 00:47:10,958 --> 00:47:12,917 making sure that stuff does not get out for 912 00:47:12,917 --> 00:47:14,167 the sorting for Lori. 913 00:47:14,167 --> 00:47:16,875 That's going to slow her down even more. 914 00:47:16,875 --> 00:47:18,583 I don't know what to do next. 915 00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:27,000 Keith? 916 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:30,667 I think this might have been yours. 917 00:47:30,667 --> 00:47:32,167 Keith? 918 00:47:32,167 --> 00:47:34,208 Keith has barely said two words to Lori 919 00:47:34,208 --> 00:47:35,375 since he got here. 920 00:47:35,375 --> 00:47:37,375 It could be resentment towards her because of 921 00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:39,583 how her hoarding has impacted their son. 922 00:47:39,583 --> 00:47:41,625 I don't know. 923 00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:42,833 But I think it's time for me and Keith 924 00:47:42,833 --> 00:47:44,875 to have a quick chat. 925 00:47:44,875 --> 00:47:47,083 - Hey, Keith. - Hey, Sarah. 926 00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:48,167 How's it going? Can I actually just 927 00:47:48,167 --> 00:47:49,208 chat with you, real quick? 928 00:47:49,375 --> 00:47:50,667 Okay. 929 00:47:50,667 --> 00:47:52,292 I haven't seen too much interaction 930 00:47:52,292 --> 00:47:53,208 with the two of you. 931 00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:54,750 I just wanted to just check in to see 932 00:47:54,750 --> 00:47:56,292 if there's something coming up for you. 933 00:47:56,292 --> 00:47:59,167 Frustration or feeling angry. What's going on? 934 00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:04,042 It is an awkward... situation. 935 00:48:04,167 --> 00:48:05,833 It's overwhelming and awkward. 936 00:48:05,833 --> 00:48:07,000 Yeah. 937 00:48:07,125 --> 00:48:10,708 I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. 938 00:48:10,708 --> 00:48:15,292 I see a lot of the brand new stuff that never got used, 939 00:48:15,292 --> 00:48:18,458 and I think it's going to be an eye opener for Lori 940 00:48:18,458 --> 00:48:22,583 on how to use her money. 941 00:48:22,583 --> 00:48:25,667 Leaving emotions out of it is better for me and... 942 00:48:25,667 --> 00:48:27,875 comes naturally, I suppose, 943 00:48:27,875 --> 00:48:31,042 just so I can tackle the task at hand. 944 00:48:31,042 --> 00:48:33,333 You know, something I was wondering is like, 945 00:48:33,333 --> 00:48:34,833 if that's the nature of your relationship, 946 00:48:34,833 --> 00:48:36,500 and even when you guys were together, right? 947 00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:40,000 Like, is that something that came up, where it was just... 948 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,125 she would do her thing, you would do your thing and so 949 00:48:42,125 --> 00:48:44,417 she's probably just defaulting back to that 950 00:48:44,542 --> 00:48:46,958 with you, like, "Okay, cool, Keith's here, he's just, 951 00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:48,208 I'm not going to question him"? 952 00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:49,583 - Doing his thing? - He's doing his thing. 953 00:48:49,583 --> 00:48:52,417 Maybe, maybe that's a lot to do with it, yeah. 954 00:48:52,417 --> 00:48:54,500 We never really cleaned up together. 955 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:57,917 I always did it by myself when she was out. 956 00:48:57,917 --> 00:49:01,000 I came up here to help Lori and my son. 957 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,042 And I'm gonna roll up my sleeves and keep doing 958 00:49:03,042 --> 00:49:05,667 what I'm doing until it's all done. 959 00:49:05,792 --> 00:49:08,208 Keith clearly is a man of few words, 960 00:49:08,208 --> 00:49:10,167 but it's nice to see he's supporting Lori with 961 00:49:10,167 --> 00:49:13,292 his actions, especially for the sake of their son. 962 00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:24,208 We're going through the items in the house. 963 00:49:24,208 --> 00:49:27,542 They're densely packed, there's so much. 964 00:49:27,542 --> 00:49:29,000 It's like a tossed salad. 965 00:49:29,125 --> 00:49:31,542 Everything is so mixed up and intertwined. 966 00:49:31,542 --> 00:49:35,167 It takes that much longer to sort it and separate the 967 00:49:35,167 --> 00:49:37,875 stuff to keep versus the stuff that's got to go. 968 00:49:53,833 --> 00:49:55,042 I would like to keep that. 969 00:49:55,167 --> 00:49:56,792 I'll put it on the, I'll put it on our keep pile, 970 00:49:56,792 --> 00:49:58,833 okay, thank you. 971 00:49:58,833 --> 00:50:00,917 I better get quicker. 972 00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:02,000 I'll get quicker. 973 00:50:06,667 --> 00:50:09,333 Oh... 974 00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:11,625 There's so many bins with like, toys. 975 00:50:11,625 --> 00:50:12,958 Like, do we just throw the toys, 976 00:50:12,958 --> 00:50:14,167 or do we try to go through them? 977 00:50:14,167 --> 00:50:17,542 Um... 978 00:50:17,542 --> 00:50:20,708 Lori's pace is a bit too slow for what we need right now. 979 00:50:20,708 --> 00:50:23,375 There is so much clothing, and some of it is brand new 980 00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:26,958 with tags, and that's made her stop and look at each item. 981 00:50:26,958 --> 00:50:30,083 I've gotta speed this up. 982 00:50:30,208 --> 00:50:32,625 I've asked Nadene to step in and help Lori. 983 00:50:32,625 --> 00:50:35,375 She's having a hard time with some of the decision making. 984 00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:37,750 She and Lori have been friends for over nine years, 985 00:50:37,750 --> 00:50:40,333 and there's good trust there, and I think Nadene's the 986 00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:43,208 person we need right now to help Lori. 987 00:50:43,333 --> 00:50:45,583 These boots and this is going to go in a tub, 988 00:50:45,583 --> 00:50:47,458 it's gonna go to donation. 989 00:50:47,458 --> 00:50:48,458 Throw it all? 990 00:50:48,583 --> 00:50:50,000 Most of it's garbage, leave it in the box, 991 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,500 and he'll just haul it down. 992 00:50:51,500 --> 00:50:54,208 Okay, Keith, we got another garbage box for you. 993 00:50:54,208 --> 00:50:56,000 So, let's get another tub. 994 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:57,792 This is how we're going to get through these 995 00:50:57,792 --> 00:50:59,667 30 more tubs out here. 996 00:50:59,667 --> 00:51:01,042 I'm going to stay right on them. 997 00:51:01,042 --> 00:51:03,167 Look, there's no time for talk here and that, 998 00:51:03,167 --> 00:51:05,542 let's keep go, go, go, go, go. 999 00:51:05,542 --> 00:51:08,875 Because we have more stuff than we have time. 1000 00:51:08,875 --> 00:51:10,167 This one... 1001 00:51:10,167 --> 00:51:11,917 It's all dirty and that, Lori, 1002 00:51:11,917 --> 00:51:13,458 we've got bags of good stuff. 1003 00:51:13,458 --> 00:51:14,958 Okay... 1004 00:51:19,542 --> 00:51:20,792 - These all keepers? - Is this all donated? 1005 00:51:20,792 --> 00:51:22,292 Ah, maybe. 1006 00:51:22,292 --> 00:51:24,625 Okay, we can't have a maybe, we need a yes or a no. 1007 00:51:24,625 --> 00:51:26,542 Yeah, Mom, you got to be able to go through that box and 1008 00:51:26,542 --> 00:51:28,167 say this is good to go. 1009 00:51:28,167 --> 00:51:30,750 I'm putting the ones that I'm giving away on this side 1010 00:51:30,875 --> 00:51:33,167 and ones I'd like to keep on this side right now. 1011 00:51:33,292 --> 00:51:35,125 - Okay? - Go, go, go. 1012 00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:36,583 This is good to go, Mama. This is good to go. 1013 00:51:38,208 --> 00:51:40,958 Okay, let me be your mediator and help you out, okay? 1014 00:51:40,958 --> 00:51:42,917 Am I not gonna need a few clothes to wear? 1015 00:51:42,917 --> 00:51:45,125 Like, am I, am I, am I gonna, 1016 00:51:45,125 --> 00:51:47,333 am I gonna buy entirely new clothes? 1017 00:51:47,333 --> 00:51:49,875 Can I not keep three and give that many away though, 1018 00:51:49,875 --> 00:51:51,167 is that not okay? 1019 00:51:51,292 --> 00:51:52,958 Yes, that's okay. 1020 00:51:52,958 --> 00:51:54,542 Okay, I thought that was okay. 1021 00:51:54,667 --> 00:51:56,500 - Is that not okay for you? - We need to be faster. 1022 00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:57,833 We need to be serious about this. 1023 00:51:57,958 --> 00:51:59,375 He doesn't mean to overwhelm you. 1024 00:51:59,375 --> 00:52:01,167 - I don't want to attack you. - We're all coming at you. 1025 00:52:01,167 --> 00:52:03,333 Well, that's what it feels like. 1026 00:52:06,667 --> 00:52:09,500 I'm sorry, I'm not doing that good right now. 1027 00:52:14,792 --> 00:52:16,333 Lori has walked away. 1028 00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:19,167 It could go either two ways: She just needs a little break, 1029 00:52:19,167 --> 00:52:20,875 and is going to be right back. 1030 00:52:21,042 --> 00:52:22,333 Or she's shutting down. 1031 00:52:22,333 --> 00:52:24,375 And she's my main decision-maker. 1032 00:52:24,375 --> 00:52:26,208 I've seen this happen before, 1033 00:52:26,208 --> 00:52:28,125 and sometimes they don't come back. 1034 00:52:28,292 --> 00:52:30,500 I'm sorry that I am this way. 1035 00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:47,958 Lori is walking away, and leaving the building. 1036 00:52:48,792 --> 00:52:51,792 The stuff coming out is coming to a grinding halt in 1037 00:52:51,792 --> 00:52:55,667 a big pile, and I don't have my key decision-maker here to 1038 00:52:55,667 --> 00:52:59,000 determine what's being kept and what's going to go. 1039 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,500 If she comes back, I'm worried that this 1040 00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:04,000 massive pile is going to send her back crying. 1041 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,500 It's overwhelming. 1042 00:53:05,500 --> 00:53:07,292 How am I going to get this done without her? 1043 00:53:20,583 --> 00:53:22,833 Thank you, thank you. 1044 00:53:25,708 --> 00:53:28,083 - How you doing? - Thanks. 1045 00:53:28,208 --> 00:53:31,000 This is normal. Hey? 1046 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,417 I guess. 1047 00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:35,542 You're doing wonderful. Okay? 1048 00:53:35,667 --> 00:53:38,792 Well, everybody's telling me I'm moving too slow. 1049 00:53:38,792 --> 00:53:40,333 And I'm doing my best. 1050 00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:44,208 You know what? It's a time factor. 1051 00:53:44,333 --> 00:53:47,250 - Yeah. - It's not against you. 1052 00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:49,042 It's against the clock racing, right? 1053 00:53:49,042 --> 00:53:50,208 Yeah. 1054 00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:52,125 Think about what we're doing anyway, 1055 00:53:52,125 --> 00:53:54,500 it's almost unrealistic, isn't it? 1056 00:53:54,625 --> 00:53:56,292 It took years to pile all that stuff. 1057 00:53:56,292 --> 00:53:57,667 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right? 1058 00:53:57,667 --> 00:54:01,083 Yeah. 1059 00:54:01,083 --> 00:54:05,042 I think I need a, I need a break from everybody, like... 1060 00:54:05,042 --> 00:54:09,083 Okay, okay, that's understandable. 1061 00:54:09,083 --> 00:54:11,292 She's overwhelmed that everybody is 1062 00:54:11,292 --> 00:54:13,542 maybe telling her what to do. 1063 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:14,500 Thanks. 1064 00:54:14,667 --> 00:54:16,833 Oh, my God, girlie, what you're doing. 1065 00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:19,792 We are just reaching the inner part of the problem with her. 1066 00:54:19,792 --> 00:54:22,333 So, we stop, we let her know we love her, 1067 00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:23,500 we care about her... 1068 00:54:23,625 --> 00:54:25,375 we're only here to help her. 1069 00:54:25,375 --> 00:54:27,542 We're here because she's asked us to be here. 1070 00:54:27,542 --> 00:54:30,083 - Okay! - Okay, thanks, Nadene. 1071 00:54:30,083 --> 00:54:32,458 I went down and gave her a hug and we talked for a bit, 1072 00:54:32,458 --> 00:54:34,125 and we laughed a bit. 1073 00:54:34,125 --> 00:54:36,125 You take a deep breath, you know, 1074 00:54:36,125 --> 00:54:37,958 and then you go forward. 1075 00:54:37,958 --> 00:54:39,500 That's not been an easy thing, 1076 00:54:39,500 --> 00:54:40,750 especially when, you know, 1077 00:54:40,750 --> 00:54:42,792 you're kind of causing it for her. 1078 00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:52,667 This entire experience, 1079 00:54:52,667 --> 00:54:54,833 it's extremely overwhelming for her. 1080 00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:57,042 What she's been dealing with over the last two days is 1081 00:54:57,208 --> 00:54:59,625 something she's never dealt with before. 1082 00:54:59,625 --> 00:55:02,875 I want to be mindful of certain things that perhaps 1083 00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,583 might be contributing to how she's feeling. 1084 00:55:06,583 --> 00:55:09,667 I know that sometimes when we're helping her clean out 1085 00:55:09,792 --> 00:55:13,042 the area and spaces, we refer to things like garbage or 1086 00:55:13,042 --> 00:55:16,500 trash or junk, and that can feel quite hurtful, right? 1087 00:55:16,667 --> 00:55:19,500 Because these are items that are meaningful to her, 1088 00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:21,500 and she holds on to them. 1089 00:55:21,625 --> 00:55:25,917 She likes to apologize and kind of blame herself 1090 00:55:25,917 --> 00:55:27,625 for a lot of this, and... 1091 00:55:27,625 --> 00:55:29,833 just to help her understand that this is all, 1092 00:55:29,833 --> 00:55:32,667 this is about getting better for all of us. 1093 00:55:32,667 --> 00:55:34,333 It's difficult for her, right, 1094 00:55:34,333 --> 00:55:36,875 she's so scared of the judgment that's going to come 1095 00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:39,667 from people and, this is actually coming to be true. 1096 00:55:39,792 --> 00:55:42,500 Language like that can feel so triggering and heavy that, 1097 00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:44,000 "Oh, you know what, what I've done, 1098 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,333 they're judging me for it." 1099 00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:48,333 It's overwhelming, there's a lot. 1100 00:55:48,333 --> 00:55:50,500 - Welcome, Lori. - Hi. 1101 00:55:50,500 --> 00:55:53,167 I know you had to take a moment to kind of step away. 1102 00:55:53,167 --> 00:55:54,500 Talk to us. 1103 00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:57,500 I guess I've been... 1104 00:55:57,500 --> 00:56:02,292 feeling it in a different way today, and... 1105 00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:04,625 Like, I know, I know that I can be frustrating 1106 00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:08,667 to work with, I know I work really slowly. 1107 00:56:08,667 --> 00:56:10,292 Um... 1108 00:56:19,625 --> 00:56:22,000 And I'm just finding I can't... 1109 00:56:22,125 --> 00:56:23,542 watch what they're, 1110 00:56:23,542 --> 00:56:27,542 what they're doing too closely because... 1111 00:56:27,542 --> 00:56:31,167 sometimes, people make decisions different than 1112 00:56:31,167 --> 00:56:33,417 what I would make, you know, and it's... 1113 00:56:33,417 --> 00:56:37,500 it's just hard. I'm finding it hard. 1114 00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:39,792 None of this is going to be effective if we continue 1115 00:56:39,792 --> 00:56:43,417 doing what we're doing and it's not working for you. 1116 00:56:43,417 --> 00:56:47,042 Because then, it's just removing physical items. 1117 00:56:47,167 --> 00:56:48,417 There's no change in behavior, 1118 00:56:48,417 --> 00:56:50,500 and we want that. 1119 00:56:50,500 --> 00:56:53,875 If this is too much for you, we can stop. 1120 00:56:59,458 --> 00:57:03,042 No, please don't stop. I want to continue, please. 1121 00:57:06,292 --> 00:57:07,833 Because we can also take a bit of a break 1122 00:57:07,833 --> 00:57:10,250 if you want us to stop. - No, no, I... 1123 00:57:10,250 --> 00:57:11,458 I had a break and I appreciate it, 1124 00:57:11,458 --> 00:57:13,250 but I would like to keep going. 1125 00:57:13,250 --> 00:57:16,417 - Okay. - Please don't stop. 1126 00:57:16,417 --> 00:57:19,208 I want to continue, please. 1127 00:57:19,208 --> 00:57:21,292 I'm really proud of Lori. 1128 00:57:21,292 --> 00:57:23,625 She came back, and she wants to keep going, 1129 00:57:23,625 --> 00:57:26,375 which tells me that she's processing the emotions 1130 00:57:26,375 --> 00:57:27,667 through the discomfort, 1131 00:57:27,667 --> 00:57:29,958 instead of avoiding it and shutting down. 1132 00:57:34,833 --> 00:57:36,708 It's tough for Lori today. 1133 00:57:36,833 --> 00:57:38,917 We're throwing a lot of stuff at her. 1134 00:57:39,042 --> 00:57:40,875 Frankly, two to three times the amount of stuff 1135 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,792 we did yesterday. 1136 00:57:44,833 --> 00:57:47,542 I was able to get around into a storage room and get another 1137 00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:50,250 door open, so we have another point of entry and 1138 00:57:50,250 --> 00:57:52,583 exit to get more stuff out of the house. 1139 00:57:55,417 --> 00:57:57,667 Holy cow, look at all that stuff that's garbage. 1140 00:57:57,667 --> 00:57:59,292 I can't even look at it. 1141 00:57:59,292 --> 00:58:02,667 Look at it, like- I see lots of bins and- 1142 00:58:02,667 --> 00:58:04,208 They're throwing that cooler away? 1143 00:58:06,625 --> 00:58:09,375 That thing, me and Aunty decided that because 1144 00:58:09,375 --> 00:58:11,958 it's got, it's got dust, dirt and grass in there, 1145 00:58:11,958 --> 00:58:13,500 it's like the bottom has disintegrated. 1146 00:58:13,500 --> 00:58:15,000 We wanted to ask you, the bottom's all rusted out. 1147 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,500 It's an antique, though. 1148 00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:18,958 Like, I still like it for a display but... 1149 00:58:18,958 --> 00:58:20,833 - Okay. - I don't know. 1150 00:58:20,833 --> 00:58:24,208 - I guess let it go, but this is- - You gotta let go. 1151 00:58:24,208 --> 00:58:27,583 This is like, it's just, this is the part I find hard, 1152 00:58:27,583 --> 00:58:29,167 like, things that I really like- 1153 00:58:29,167 --> 00:58:30,583 Your collectibles. 1154 00:58:30,708 --> 00:58:34,167 People are saying, Oh, that's filthy, that's gross. 1155 00:58:34,167 --> 00:58:36,542 Did you know where that cooler was? 1156 00:58:36,542 --> 00:58:39,375 It was in that water room area. 1157 00:58:41,042 --> 00:58:45,000 We can't live like this, you know? It's... 1158 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,208 This home is antique, and it could be in much better shape. 1159 00:58:48,208 --> 00:58:50,625 That, that- stuff like that is, 1160 00:58:50,625 --> 00:58:51,667 some of it might be antique, 1161 00:58:51,667 --> 00:58:53,500 but it's already gone, you know? 1162 00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:58,042 Yeah... But I thought, like, I thought I clearly said 1163 00:58:58,042 --> 00:59:00,500 I would like to keep the Coke stuff. 1164 00:59:00,625 --> 00:59:01,917 We can go and grab that off. 1165 00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:03,458 - You want to look at it? - Yeah, come and look at it. 1166 00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:05,958 - No, no, I'll- - It's gone already. 1167 00:59:06,083 --> 00:59:08,333 It can go, it can go, but it just... 1168 00:59:08,333 --> 00:59:10,417 it hurts, it hurts. 1169 00:59:10,417 --> 00:59:13,000 Like, me and Kathy were aware of that. 1170 00:59:13,125 --> 00:59:15,708 This was our decision with that Coke cooler. 1171 00:59:15,708 --> 00:59:17,375 But you gave us clearance to make decisions, 1172 00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:22,542 and we thought it was very damaged and... 1173 00:59:22,542 --> 00:59:25,417 But I guess I would have hoped that since I had said 1174 00:59:25,417 --> 00:59:27,000 I'd like to keep the Coke stuff, 1175 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,458 that you would have let me in on the conversation. 1176 00:59:29,458 --> 00:59:32,375 Yeah, we could take it off the truck, so... 1177 00:59:32,375 --> 00:59:33,708 We can regroup about it. 1178 00:59:33,708 --> 00:59:36,250 No, no, it's okay, it's okay. 1179 00:59:36,250 --> 00:59:37,958 I got to let it go. 1180 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,417 - Hey, Lori. - Hi. 1181 00:59:42,417 --> 00:59:45,083 - How's it going? - It's alright, thanks. 1182 00:59:45,083 --> 00:59:47,500 I know there were specific items you requested for, 1183 00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:49,833 and I know one of the items that you were 1184 00:59:49,833 --> 00:59:53,000 requested for ends up in the... 1185 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,750 truck, where all the disposable items are. 1186 00:59:56,875 --> 00:59:58,750 I want to know how you're feeling. 1187 00:59:58,750 --> 01:00:01,417 I guess at that moment I was just thinking... 1188 01:00:01,417 --> 01:00:06,875 well, you know, why are we talking about guidelines or 1189 01:00:06,875 --> 01:00:09,167 requests if they're not going to be followed? 1190 01:00:09,167 --> 01:00:11,083 That's how I was feeling in that moment. 1191 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:13,792 Lori, you're not wrong. You asked for that, right, 1192 01:00:13,792 --> 01:00:15,542 and we said you're the boss, so... 1193 01:00:15,542 --> 01:00:18,333 you are the one who gets to decide. 1194 01:00:18,333 --> 01:00:20,125 And I understand Tajko, you know, 1195 01:00:20,125 --> 01:00:24,000 made a decision that it's not functional. 1196 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,750 I just want to make sure that you're being very intentional 1197 01:00:27,750 --> 01:00:30,000 as well about your choices rather than doing something 1198 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,667 just to please your son and your sister. 1199 01:00:33,667 --> 01:00:35,000 I don't, I don't want you to do that. 1200 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,583 And you're making so much progress. 1201 01:00:37,583 --> 01:00:39,958 I think your son can attest to that. 1202 01:00:39,958 --> 01:00:42,875 More than I've ever seen before. 1203 01:00:42,875 --> 01:00:44,833 Because remember, if you're doing it for others, 1204 01:00:44,833 --> 01:00:47,042 when they leave, the behaviors are going 1205 01:00:47,042 --> 01:00:48,958 to come back, and none of us want that. 1206 01:00:48,958 --> 01:00:50,625 We're looking for a change in behavior, 1207 01:00:50,625 --> 01:00:54,750 not just removal of physical items. 1208 01:00:54,750 --> 01:00:56,958 Do you want to think about it? 1209 01:00:56,958 --> 01:00:58,833 No, thanks. 1210 01:00:58,958 --> 01:01:01,167 I really, I really want to stay with letting it go. 1211 01:01:01,167 --> 01:01:02,833 - Okay. - Yeah. 1212 01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:05,000 I'm really proud of Lori. 1213 01:01:05,167 --> 01:01:07,667 She's making a lot of progress today. 1214 01:01:07,917 --> 01:01:11,333 She is able to understand the discomfort that comes with 1215 01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:15,625 being able to let go of items that have no purpose for her. 1216 01:01:15,625 --> 01:01:17,750 This was a big moment for her. 1217 01:01:35,875 --> 01:01:38,667 It's day three, and I've got an even bigger job today 1218 01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:40,708 than I had yesterday. 1219 01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:45,000 bedrooms, bathroom, like, key living space. 1220 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:47,167 And I know that there's going to be a lot of emotion 1221 01:01:47,167 --> 01:01:50,375 in there for everybody. 1222 01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:52,833 Lori's really concerned that we're going to get rid of 1223 01:01:52,958 --> 01:01:55,333 clothes that she wants to keep. 1224 01:01:55,333 --> 01:01:58,708 We've got a whole pile of bins on the hill there that 1225 01:01:58,708 --> 01:02:00,958 need decisions, and that's going to be 1226 01:02:00,958 --> 01:02:02,417 way too much for her. 1227 01:02:02,542 --> 01:02:05,167 So, I'm hoping that she will delegate that decision-making 1228 01:02:05,167 --> 01:02:09,167 power to my team. We can look at a bin, 1229 01:02:09,292 --> 01:02:11,958 pull out anything good, and the rest will go... 1230 01:02:11,958 --> 01:02:14,042 'cause we've got a donation day happening, 1231 01:02:14,042 --> 01:02:16,292 and I've only got the truck for an hour or two, 1232 01:02:16,292 --> 01:02:18,083 and I've got to fill it. 1233 01:02:20,542 --> 01:02:22,708 Ah, this can donate. 1234 01:02:22,833 --> 01:02:24,250 Maybe this one's new. 1235 01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:25,583 This can donate, yeah. 1236 01:02:25,583 --> 01:02:27,667 This looks like a lot of junk to me. 1237 01:02:27,667 --> 01:02:29,750 Taj has been really great today. 1238 01:02:29,750 --> 01:02:32,458 This has been hard on him his whole life. 1239 01:02:32,458 --> 01:02:35,000 And, this process is hard on him. 1240 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,792 That's an extension cord, I'll keep this. 1241 01:02:36,792 --> 01:02:38,792 We're gonna really get to work on his room 'cause 1242 01:02:38,792 --> 01:02:43,958 I know he cannot wait to have that as his own space, 1243 01:02:43,958 --> 01:02:47,250 'cause really two-thirds of that room is his mom's stuff. 1244 01:02:49,875 --> 01:02:53,500 You've been working so hard, and I know that this space is 1245 01:02:53,625 --> 01:02:56,500 something you've wanted to reclaim for a long time and 1246 01:02:56,500 --> 01:02:59,333 have it back in your full possession. 1247 01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:01,833 So, I want to clear out your mom's stuff, 1248 01:03:01,833 --> 01:03:03,667 and you said there might be some of your dad's stuff. 1249 01:03:03,792 --> 01:03:06,708 I really want to give this room back to you, 1250 01:03:06,708 --> 01:03:08,625 so that this is your space, 1251 01:03:08,625 --> 01:03:10,250 'cause it hasn't been your space... 1252 01:03:10,250 --> 01:03:12,250 probably almost since day one, right? 1253 01:03:12,375 --> 01:03:14,583 Yeah, this is the first space I have to clear for myself, 1254 01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:16,000 so I'm... 1255 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:17,625 happy to come back to it and it's the last space 1256 01:03:17,625 --> 01:03:20,042 that we're going to properly clear. 1257 01:03:20,042 --> 01:03:22,125 Yeah, this is going to be Tajko's room again. 1258 01:03:22,125 --> 01:03:25,792 Yeah. 1259 01:03:25,792 --> 01:03:27,542 Garbage... 1260 01:03:27,542 --> 01:03:29,333 Garbage. 1261 01:03:29,333 --> 01:03:31,458 Me and my mom certainly don't have a habit of 1262 01:03:31,458 --> 01:03:33,375 keeping the house clean and... 1263 01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:35,625 tackling the house in such a big way has been 1264 01:03:35,625 --> 01:03:38,000 a lot for both of us. 1265 01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:39,667 And I'm really starting to think about how we're going 1266 01:03:39,792 --> 01:03:41,917 to adjust to a home with much less items. 1267 01:03:41,917 --> 01:03:43,125 It's going to be good in a lot of ways, 1268 01:03:43,125 --> 01:03:44,417 but I know we're going to be feeling 1269 01:03:44,542 --> 01:03:46,500 like a part of us is missing. 1270 01:03:46,500 --> 01:03:48,875 Alright, garbage, garbage. 1271 01:03:48,875 --> 01:03:50,167 Taj and I are working in his room, 1272 01:03:50,167 --> 01:03:52,208 and he's an absolute machine. 1273 01:03:52,208 --> 01:03:54,167 Gone, gone, keep. 1274 01:03:54,167 --> 01:03:55,500 Yes, no. 1275 01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:57,625 And he's making great decisions. 1276 01:03:57,625 --> 01:03:59,542 I can't believe he's a teenager. 1277 01:03:59,667 --> 01:04:01,292 He's so mature. 1278 01:04:01,292 --> 01:04:04,292 But I want to get 100% for him because this is so 1279 01:04:04,292 --> 01:04:08,667 important for a guy his age, and he needs his own space. 1280 01:04:08,667 --> 01:04:11,458 Thank you. Okay. 1281 01:04:11,458 --> 01:04:12,417 What we're doing right now, 1282 01:04:12,417 --> 01:04:13,792 I really want to see this corner clear. 1283 01:04:13,792 --> 01:04:15,458 I've always had to stick to my bed area. 1284 01:04:15,458 --> 01:04:18,292 I look forward to being able to do things outside of that. 1285 01:04:18,292 --> 01:04:20,667 Maybe a computer set up in here, it'd be awesome. 1286 01:04:20,667 --> 01:04:22,000 I want to make the most of this 1287 01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:23,292 clean slate we've been given. 1288 01:04:23,417 --> 01:04:26,000 A lot of the things I own were selected by my mom. 1289 01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:29,500 So, seeing those go and working with a clean house, 1290 01:04:29,625 --> 01:04:32,208 I look forward to being able to personalize a little more. 1291 01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:46,333 Kathy, I found something I wanted to show you. 1292 01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:50,667 Really cute photo album. Who is this little baby? 1293 01:04:52,167 --> 01:04:58,000 This is one of Lori's closest friends, growing up. 1294 01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,417 They did a lot of fun things together. 1295 01:05:01,542 --> 01:05:05,083 They used to pretend they were hosting a cooking show. 1296 01:05:05,083 --> 01:05:06,917 Yeah... 1297 01:05:06,917 --> 01:05:10,125 Yep, this is- this whole album must be a gift from 1298 01:05:10,125 --> 01:05:12,792 one of her closest friends while she was growing up. 1299 01:05:12,792 --> 01:05:14,250 - That's her friend? - Yes, yes. 1300 01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:15,417 That's so sweet. 1301 01:05:15,417 --> 01:05:18,792 She added a real playful spirit to our family. 1302 01:05:18,792 --> 01:05:21,250 Yeah, which is so nice to hear. 1303 01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:24,542 And it must make it that much more difficult, you know, 1304 01:05:24,542 --> 01:05:27,500 when you think about your baby sister who brought 1305 01:05:27,625 --> 01:05:31,208 such a joyful, playful energy to the household, 1306 01:05:31,208 --> 01:05:34,458 having to live like this. 1307 01:05:37,125 --> 01:05:38,250 Yeah. 1308 01:05:38,250 --> 01:05:39,792 Why don't I give this to you? 1309 01:05:39,792 --> 01:05:42,750 I'm sure your sister would love to see this. 1310 01:05:42,875 --> 01:05:44,917 Yes, she will, she will. 1311 01:05:45,042 --> 01:05:48,000 She'll laugh. 1312 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:49,708 - Lori? - Yeah? 1313 01:05:49,708 --> 01:05:52,167 - I found something. - Oh, boy. 1314 01:05:52,292 --> 01:05:54,292 - It's really sweet. - Okay. 1315 01:05:54,292 --> 01:05:57,167 - Your dear, dear friend. - Mhm? 1316 01:05:57,167 --> 01:06:02,208 - And this album. - Oh... 1317 01:06:02,208 --> 01:06:04,375 Oh, my gosh. 1318 01:06:04,375 --> 01:06:06,625 It's got very precious family photos. 1319 01:06:06,625 --> 01:06:08,167 - Oh my gosh. - Look. 1320 01:06:08,167 --> 01:06:11,167 Wow. Yeah, that's funny. 1321 01:06:11,167 --> 01:06:14,333 Yeah, this is a very special selection. 1322 01:06:14,333 --> 01:06:18,167 Mhm. Oh, my gosh. 1323 01:06:18,167 --> 01:06:20,833 - So cute. - Little ones. 1324 01:06:20,833 --> 01:06:23,083 That's awesome. Thank you. 1325 01:06:23,083 --> 01:06:24,750 Thanks so much for being here. 1326 01:06:24,875 --> 01:06:26,667 I love you so much. 1327 01:06:26,667 --> 01:06:28,958 Okay, now get back to it. No, I'm just kidding. 1328 01:06:28,958 --> 01:06:30,875 Ha-ha! Just joking. 1329 01:06:30,875 --> 01:06:33,833 - Just joking. - On the double. 1330 01:06:35,958 --> 01:06:38,000 Sounds like Dad. 1331 01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,875 Later, alligator. 1332 01:06:40,875 --> 01:06:42,875 Back to it. 1333 01:06:50,167 --> 01:06:52,250 Day two was hard for Lori 'cause we really 1334 01:06:52,375 --> 01:06:54,542 got into the nitty gritty of clothes. 1335 01:06:54,667 --> 01:06:57,417 And, that overwhelmed her. 1336 01:06:57,417 --> 01:06:59,333 I was worried that was going to happen again, 1337 01:06:59,333 --> 01:07:01,583 but here we are working through clothes... 1338 01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:03,792 and she is doing great. 1339 01:07:03,792 --> 01:07:05,042 Ah, donate. 1340 01:07:05,042 --> 01:07:07,542 Donate... Donate. 1341 01:07:07,542 --> 01:07:09,417 So, I'm going to capitalize on that, 1342 01:07:09,417 --> 01:07:11,333 and I'm going to run with it. 1343 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:21,958 Oh, wow. Lori! 1344 01:07:21,958 --> 01:07:23,167 Where's all the stuff? 1345 01:07:23,167 --> 01:07:25,667 Oh, wow, amazing. 1346 01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:27,917 - Lori! - Yeah! Kim! 1347 01:07:28,042 --> 01:07:30,875 - Come to me, come to me. - Hi. 1348 01:07:30,875 --> 01:07:33,042 So, I'm assuming you saw behind you? 1349 01:07:33,042 --> 01:07:34,375 - Yeah. - What do you think about that? 1350 01:07:34,500 --> 01:07:36,333 I think it's a miracle. Thank you so much. 1351 01:07:36,333 --> 01:07:38,875 - It kind of was, to be honest. - Yeah, no, I agree. 1352 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,333 Everyone here did such a great job. 1353 01:07:41,333 --> 01:07:43,125 They carefully pulled out good things that 1354 01:07:43,125 --> 01:07:44,500 we kept for you. 1355 01:07:44,500 --> 01:07:47,000 And we've got great donations on the cube truck, 1356 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:49,083 which will be leaving very soon. 1357 01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:50,333 So, we got it done in time. 1358 01:07:50,333 --> 01:07:53,583 The power of community is pretty spectacular here. 1359 01:07:53,583 --> 01:07:55,750 And isn't it interesting the community that you 1360 01:07:55,750 --> 01:07:57,500 kind of closed your doors to... 1361 01:07:57,500 --> 01:08:00,333 and then, you opened up, and the wonders that 1362 01:08:00,333 --> 01:08:03,208 have happened after that. It's incredible. 1363 01:08:03,208 --> 01:08:05,542 Thank you for a miracle, everybody. 1364 01:08:05,542 --> 01:08:09,083 I was worried how she might react to it all being gone, 1365 01:08:09,208 --> 01:08:11,667 and a bare hill, 'cause it's been almost 1366 01:08:11,792 --> 01:08:16,458 three days of stuff there, and now it's all gone. 1367 01:08:16,458 --> 01:08:19,167 I'm happy, and I can see Lori's happy. 1368 01:08:19,167 --> 01:08:21,333 That's a win-win for both of us. 1369 01:08:21,333 --> 01:08:24,500 Okay, last bin to go on the donation truck. 1370 01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:25,500 Yeah. 1371 01:08:25,500 --> 01:08:27,000 I nominate you to put it on there. 1372 01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:28,583 - Sounds good to me. - Yeah? 1373 01:08:28,708 --> 01:08:29,667 - Mhm. - Alright. 1374 01:08:29,667 --> 01:08:31,417 Thanks. 1375 01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,583 All right. Goodbye. 1376 01:08:42,708 --> 01:08:44,333 - Close the door. - Mhm. 1377 01:08:44,333 --> 01:08:46,167 Putting that last box on the truck with my mom 1378 01:08:46,167 --> 01:08:48,375 is like sealing the deal. 1379 01:08:48,375 --> 01:08:52,167 It's putting a massive issue to rest after 17 years. 1380 01:08:52,167 --> 01:08:54,000 - Thanks, honey. - I'm proud of you, Mama. 1381 01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:56,333 Thank you, honey. I'm proud of you too. 1382 01:08:56,333 --> 01:09:00,333 Love you... Love you. 1383 01:09:00,333 --> 01:09:02,042 Thank you! Love you, too. 1384 01:09:02,042 --> 01:09:04,500 Yeah! 1385 01:09:04,500 --> 01:09:06,667 Alright, bang on that truck door, it can go. 1386 01:09:08,292 --> 01:09:10,083 Lori and Tajko are going to have challenges 1387 01:09:10,083 --> 01:09:12,000 in the days and months to come. 1388 01:09:12,208 --> 01:09:15,167 But seeing that truck drive away full of stuff... 1389 01:09:15,167 --> 01:09:16,667 that's a win. 1390 01:09:16,667 --> 01:09:18,208 Thank you so much. 1391 01:09:18,208 --> 01:09:19,583 I couldn't have done it without you. Love you so much. 1392 01:09:19,583 --> 01:09:21,875 Yeah, couldn't have done it without our awesome crew. 1393 01:09:35,333 --> 01:09:38,250 Lori has let go of two truckloads worth of stuff, 1394 01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:39,750 and they're on their way right now to 1395 01:09:39,750 --> 01:09:41,542 the community centre, where Nadene has 1396 01:09:41,542 --> 01:09:43,875 organized this huge donation event. 1397 01:09:43,875 --> 01:09:46,333 That's such a beautiful thing for Lori to do is, 1398 01:09:46,458 --> 01:09:47,833 to give back to the community that are 1399 01:09:47,833 --> 01:09:49,250 giving to her right now. 1400 01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:51,292 I'm really proud of her. 1401 01:10:06,042 --> 01:10:07,792 Today's a really big day for Lori. 1402 01:10:07,792 --> 01:10:10,500 She's going to be facing all the people in her community 1403 01:10:10,500 --> 01:10:12,625 that she's hidden her disorder from. 1404 01:10:12,625 --> 01:10:14,875 But I'm hoping it's going to be powerfully cathartic. 1405 01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:21,125 Hi. 1406 01:10:23,833 --> 01:10:25,125 - Hi, guys. - Oh, hey, honey. 1407 01:10:25,125 --> 01:10:26,375 - How's it going? - Hey! 1408 01:10:26,500 --> 01:10:28,958 Good, how are you? What's happening? 1409 01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:32,083 Are you okay? 1410 01:10:32,083 --> 01:10:34,167 Are you struggling a little today? 1411 01:10:34,167 --> 01:10:35,458 I think I'm okay. 1412 01:10:35,458 --> 01:10:36,958 I've got a little bit of anxiety. 1413 01:10:36,958 --> 01:10:40,208 Oh, what... how do you mean? 1414 01:10:40,208 --> 01:10:42,042 Just seeing all this, it's very real. 1415 01:10:42,042 --> 01:10:45,333 Yeah... No, it's understandable. 1416 01:10:45,458 --> 01:10:47,375 I thought I was ready, and I still am, 1417 01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:48,833 but I am struggling a little bit. 1418 01:10:48,958 --> 01:10:51,583 Yeah. I'm sure it's going to be kind of a roller coaster 1419 01:10:51,583 --> 01:10:55,500 for me in there too. Kind of... 1420 01:10:55,500 --> 01:10:57,667 looking forward and dreading at the same time 1421 01:10:57,667 --> 01:11:01,125 to see what it looks like all in one place. 1422 01:11:01,125 --> 01:11:02,500 Yeah. 1423 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:04,833 I love you, honey, and I'm proud of you. 1424 01:11:04,958 --> 01:11:07,333 And I'm thankful for you. 1425 01:11:07,333 --> 01:11:09,208 Can I get, can I hug you, please? 1426 01:11:09,208 --> 01:11:11,167 Hey... Thank you. 1427 01:11:16,667 --> 01:11:18,167 I think I maybe won't go in there. 1428 01:11:18,167 --> 01:11:20,000 You don't want to? Why not, honey? 1429 01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:21,667 You don't want to take a look? 1430 01:11:21,667 --> 01:11:24,250 I think it's less stressful, I think it's easier to... 1431 01:11:24,250 --> 01:11:25,583 - Just detach this way? - Yeah. 1432 01:11:25,583 --> 01:11:26,917 Okay, okay. 1433 01:11:27,042 --> 01:11:31,292 Whatever you think is right, I want to respect that. 1434 01:11:31,292 --> 01:11:35,000 Aw, I love you so much. 1435 01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:36,792 Sorry, honey. 1436 01:11:39,333 --> 01:11:42,000 If you're ready, you'll come in on your own. 1437 01:11:42,000 --> 01:11:45,292 Yeah. I see a lot of people here, they're going to be... 1438 01:11:45,292 --> 01:11:47,875 much happier than we are. 1439 01:11:47,875 --> 01:11:51,333 Yeah. 1440 01:11:51,458 --> 01:11:54,208 It's a beautiful thing, what your mom and you 1441 01:11:54,208 --> 01:11:56,958 are doing for this community. 1442 01:11:56,958 --> 01:12:02,333 They want to share in your happiness to come though. 1443 01:12:02,333 --> 01:12:05,000 You try and maybe hold on to that a little bit? 1444 01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:07,500 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1445 01:12:07,500 --> 01:12:09,000 - Group hug? - Group hug, yeah. 1446 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,500 - Group hug. - 3, 2, 1. 1447 01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:11,792 I love you both, I love you both so much. 1448 01:12:11,792 --> 01:12:13,667 - Me too. - Me too, me too. 1449 01:12:13,667 --> 01:12:15,542 Good luck, guys. 1450 01:12:18,583 --> 01:12:20,458 For the community, this donation drive is 1451 01:12:20,458 --> 01:12:22,750 a social event that brings them together. 1452 01:12:22,750 --> 01:12:26,750 But for Tajko, it's a very different story. 1453 01:12:26,750 --> 01:12:30,000 Seeing the hoard all spread out for everyone to see is 1454 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:33,083 very overwhelming and brings up some intense feelings 1455 01:12:33,083 --> 01:12:35,500 of loss and shame for Tajko. 1456 01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:37,875 Hi, everybody! 1457 01:12:37,875 --> 01:12:40,292 Wow. 1458 01:12:40,292 --> 01:12:41,708 Oh, my gosh. 1459 01:12:45,958 --> 01:12:47,708 Aw... 1460 01:12:50,958 --> 01:12:53,333 So, yeah, I just wanted to thank Nadene and everybody 1461 01:12:53,458 --> 01:12:55,292 who helped us put this event together, 1462 01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:57,792 it's so good to see everybody. 1463 01:12:57,792 --> 01:13:00,083 Excuse us, guys. We'll see you in there. 1464 01:13:17,458 --> 01:13:21,208 Wow! Wow, wow, wow. 1465 01:13:21,208 --> 01:13:24,333 - Hi, Miriam! - Hi, hi! 1466 01:13:24,333 --> 01:13:27,042 Take a whole bin home for the grandkids. 1467 01:13:29,458 --> 01:13:31,417 Oh, hi. How are you, Scarlett? 1468 01:13:31,542 --> 01:13:33,417 - Good. - Good to see you. 1469 01:13:33,417 --> 01:13:36,667 - It's your birthday? - No, it's not my birthday. 1470 01:13:36,667 --> 01:13:39,042 I'm just giving presents to everybody. 1471 01:13:39,042 --> 01:13:42,250 Lori's Santa Claus. 1472 01:13:42,375 --> 01:13:44,208 - Hi, Lori! - Oh, hey, Joanne! 1473 01:13:44,208 --> 01:13:46,708 I'm so glad that you're doing this. 1474 01:13:46,833 --> 01:13:48,792 So much stuff you've been hiding, 1475 01:13:48,917 --> 01:13:51,917 now you let it all out, good for you! 1476 01:13:51,917 --> 01:13:53,417 I can't even believe it, when I see it 1477 01:13:53,417 --> 01:13:55,417 all spread out like this, it really hits me, 1478 01:13:55,417 --> 01:13:58,042 what crazy amount of stuff I had in my house. 1479 01:14:01,833 --> 01:14:03,667 Honest to God, I don't feel anxious at all. 1480 01:14:03,667 --> 01:14:06,042 It's nice everybody's coming to see you. 1481 01:14:06,042 --> 01:14:07,833 I'm even seeing a couple things going by that 1482 01:14:07,958 --> 01:14:11,167 I wouldn't have put out, but it's okay. 1483 01:14:11,292 --> 01:14:14,458 - Hi, how are you? - I'm good, and you? 1484 01:14:14,458 --> 01:14:16,333 Good. Thanks for coming. 1485 01:14:16,333 --> 01:14:17,875 Oh, thank you. 1486 01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:22,125 I was honored to be a part of all this, I will say that. 1487 01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:23,667 - I love you. - I love you too. 1488 01:14:23,667 --> 01:14:25,333 Thank you for coming. 1489 01:14:25,333 --> 01:14:28,000 But the best part of all was seeing my friend 1490 01:14:28,000 --> 01:14:30,167 become the person that... 1491 01:14:30,292 --> 01:14:33,375 was almost trapped inside, that she has wanted to be for 1492 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:36,000 so long, and seeing that butterfly come out 1493 01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,458 like today, that's more than I could ask for. 1494 01:14:39,458 --> 01:14:42,500 That was Tajko's first concert. 1495 01:14:42,500 --> 01:14:44,583 I hope you enjoy. 1496 01:14:46,042 --> 01:14:47,167 - Lori? - Yeah. 1497 01:14:47,167 --> 01:14:48,583 - Hi. - Hi. 1498 01:14:48,583 --> 01:14:50,167 Oh my God. I know. 1499 01:14:50,167 --> 01:14:51,333 It's great, eh? 1500 01:14:51,333 --> 01:14:52,667 Oh my gosh, how are you doing? 1501 01:14:52,667 --> 01:14:54,250 I'm good, I'm really happy. 1502 01:14:54,375 --> 01:14:55,750 Yeah, I've been watching you from there. 1503 01:14:55,750 --> 01:14:57,500 I'm happy I got to see so many people. 1504 01:14:57,500 --> 01:14:59,375 I saw lots of people I haven't seen in a long time. 1505 01:14:59,375 --> 01:15:02,167 I was told this is like one of the very few social events 1506 01:15:02,167 --> 01:15:03,333 of the year that's happened. 1507 01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:05,125 Yeah, for sure. 1508 01:15:05,125 --> 01:15:06,958 How's your son doing? 1509 01:15:07,083 --> 01:15:08,667 I haven't had the chance to check in with him so, 1510 01:15:08,667 --> 01:15:10,083 what's going on with Tajko? 1511 01:15:10,083 --> 01:15:14,042 Just before we started here, he was just- 1512 01:15:14,042 --> 01:15:17,375 it was hard for him to articulate, but he was... 1513 01:15:17,500 --> 01:15:19,708 He was just feeling emotions, I guess. 1514 01:15:19,708 --> 01:15:21,083 It's a lot that's happening and 1515 01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:22,708 it's just kind of all registering now. 1516 01:15:22,833 --> 01:15:24,167 Sounds like he's overwhelmed. 1517 01:15:24,167 --> 01:15:25,625 I think so, yeah. 1518 01:15:25,625 --> 01:15:28,167 Like, I mean it is- I can understand 1519 01:15:28,167 --> 01:15:31,500 how it must be unsettling for him, because... 1520 01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:34,917 like, unfortunately, sadly, 1521 01:15:34,917 --> 01:15:37,542 he's lived the way we've been living 1522 01:15:37,667 --> 01:15:39,708 pretty much- well, all his life, right? 1523 01:15:39,708 --> 01:15:43,042 So, it's very drastic change 1524 01:15:43,042 --> 01:15:46,167 that we're... moving into. 1525 01:15:46,292 --> 01:15:47,500 Yep, yep. 1526 01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:50,667 And it makes sense he would 1527 01:15:50,667 --> 01:15:53,000 feel some intense emotions at some point 1528 01:15:53,125 --> 01:15:55,667 'cause he hasn't really expressed too much yet, 1529 01:15:55,667 --> 01:15:58,375 I think. You know, other than maybe being 1530 01:15:58,375 --> 01:16:00,500 a little bit frustrated with me when I'm... 1531 01:16:00,500 --> 01:16:03,000 thinking I need to keep too much. You know? 1532 01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:05,792 Do you think it'll be okay for me to check in with him? 1533 01:16:05,792 --> 01:16:07,167 I think that would be great, if you don't mind. 1534 01:16:07,292 --> 01:16:09,292 - I would appreciate that, yeah. - Yeah, absolutely, yeah. 1535 01:16:09,292 --> 01:16:10,208 I'll go ahead and I'll do that. 1536 01:16:10,208 --> 01:16:11,542 - Okay. - Yeah, okay. 1537 01:16:11,542 --> 01:16:13,083 - Thanks. - No problem. 1538 01:16:21,500 --> 01:16:23,208 I'm really happy with the amount of donations 1539 01:16:23,208 --> 01:16:25,625 we got out and the amount of garbage we got out. 1540 01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:27,458 It was a lot. 1541 01:16:29,667 --> 01:16:32,417 I still have a lot of rooms to clear, 1542 01:16:32,417 --> 01:16:34,792 and then the house needs to be cleaned and fixed up and 1543 01:16:34,792 --> 01:16:37,125 reorganized and ready. 1544 01:16:37,125 --> 01:16:40,125 There are years' worth of grime, and food, 1545 01:16:40,125 --> 01:16:42,375 and cat litter. 1546 01:16:42,500 --> 01:16:44,125 We also need to look at the plumbing and 1547 01:16:44,125 --> 01:16:45,708 electrical in this house. 1548 01:16:45,708 --> 01:16:48,333 Make sure it's safe, make sure it's livable. 1549 01:16:48,333 --> 01:16:50,208 So, we're not out of the woods yet. 1550 01:17:01,875 --> 01:17:03,167 This is the first time I've seen Tajko have such 1551 01:17:03,292 --> 01:17:05,875 an intense emotional reaction to anything. 1552 01:17:05,875 --> 01:17:07,083 I need to have a quick check in with him 1553 01:17:07,083 --> 01:17:09,333 to see what's going on. 1554 01:17:09,333 --> 01:17:11,583 Hey, Tajko. What are you doing? 1555 01:17:11,583 --> 01:17:13,625 I'm just looking through some of the stuff around 1556 01:17:13,625 --> 01:17:15,750 my area to see if I want to keep any of it. 1557 01:17:15,750 --> 01:17:17,708 I just wanted to check in with you to see 1558 01:17:17,708 --> 01:17:19,375 how things are going. 1559 01:17:19,375 --> 01:17:21,083 I'm really happy, I... 1560 01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:24,833 can hear an echo in here, which is new, 1561 01:17:24,833 --> 01:17:27,000 because of the more space. 1562 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:29,833 Do you ever fear that, you know, living with 1563 01:17:29,833 --> 01:17:32,750 somebody who has concerns with just hoarding items, 1564 01:17:32,875 --> 01:17:34,583 that you're going to end up like that? 1565 01:17:34,583 --> 01:17:38,792 I do see myself presenting some similar ideas, 1566 01:17:38,792 --> 01:17:43,792 and following some similar... mindsets. 1567 01:17:45,792 --> 01:17:48,917 I feel quite angry when, like I said, 1568 01:17:48,917 --> 01:17:52,000 she falls back into old habits of hoarding issues, 1569 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,958 even when we have a clean area. 1570 01:17:53,958 --> 01:17:55,833 She might say, I worry she might say, "Wow, 1571 01:17:55,833 --> 01:17:57,667 this is great," and then continue to practice her 1572 01:17:57,667 --> 01:17:59,500 sort of hoarding mentality where she's like, 1573 01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:00,875 "Oh, I have this space. 1574 01:18:00,875 --> 01:18:02,458 I can buy all these gifts I want for my friends." 1575 01:18:02,458 --> 01:18:04,708 And the cycle sort of continues. 1576 01:18:04,708 --> 01:18:08,333 I think on her own she would very much 1577 01:18:08,333 --> 01:18:13,208 slide back, and possibly self-harm. 1578 01:18:13,208 --> 01:18:15,250 That's the first time I've heard you say that. 1579 01:18:15,375 --> 01:18:17,458 Is there anything that's happened that makes you 1580 01:18:17,458 --> 01:18:20,083 fear for, like, risk to your mom's life? 1581 01:18:20,083 --> 01:18:23,167 She hasn't done anything to herself, thankfully. 1582 01:18:23,292 --> 01:18:28,542 She has said some very upsetting things that I... 1583 01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:32,500 I fear to think about coming into reality. 1584 01:18:32,625 --> 01:18:33,958 She'll start talking about herself 1585 01:18:33,958 --> 01:18:36,708 in a very demeaning way, and... 1586 01:18:36,708 --> 01:18:40,083 very, in a way that it's very frustrating to me that 1587 01:18:40,083 --> 01:18:43,542 she thinks that she's a horrible person, 1588 01:18:43,542 --> 01:18:46,083 or pulling words out of my mouth to say that I'm saying 1589 01:18:46,083 --> 01:18:48,917 she's horrible and things like that. 1590 01:18:48,917 --> 01:18:50,958 I don't stress over what I missed out because of the 1591 01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:53,833 situation, but I do stress over not fixing the situation 1592 01:18:53,833 --> 01:18:55,833 so I can move on with my life. 1593 01:19:08,708 --> 01:19:10,750 Today's the day, we're handing the house 1594 01:19:10,750 --> 01:19:12,250 back to Lori and Tajko. 1595 01:19:12,250 --> 01:19:14,833 But there's still several things that need to get done. 1596 01:19:14,833 --> 01:19:17,542 There's vacuuming, there's dusting, there's cleaning. 1597 01:19:17,542 --> 01:19:20,042 All of this needs to happen to bring this house up to 1598 01:19:20,042 --> 01:19:23,417 a level of sanitation that's livable. 1599 01:19:23,417 --> 01:19:27,167 The plumbing issues with the sinks and toilets are finally 1600 01:19:27,167 --> 01:19:31,333 being fixed, after years of them not working properly. 1601 01:19:31,458 --> 01:19:33,500 We've got some deliveries coming in today, 1602 01:19:33,667 --> 01:19:36,875 some furniture, new fridge and stove, because frankly, 1603 01:19:36,875 --> 01:19:39,083 Lori's fridge and stove were not salvageable. 1604 01:19:39,208 --> 01:19:41,083 They had to go. 1605 01:19:44,875 --> 01:19:46,708 I'm so proud of Lori, 1606 01:19:46,708 --> 01:19:48,375 and to see the progress she's made 1607 01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:52,292 over the last few days, over such a short span of time. 1608 01:19:52,292 --> 01:19:55,500 When I think about the way the community came here, 1609 01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:58,917 and were willing to do so many different kinds of 1610 01:19:58,917 --> 01:20:02,792 dirty work, unpleasant work, and with a smile and, 1611 01:20:02,792 --> 01:20:05,250 you know, like, very selflessly, 1612 01:20:05,250 --> 01:20:10,458 and that is what makes this community so very special. 1613 01:20:10,458 --> 01:20:13,167 I'm ready to go, I'm excited. 1614 01:20:13,167 --> 01:20:17,042 Keeping my eye on the prize. 1615 01:20:17,042 --> 01:20:20,375 I know we've come a long way since day one. 1616 01:20:20,375 --> 01:20:23,125 I'm excited and anxious to see what the house looks like. 1617 01:20:23,125 --> 01:20:25,000 We just have a few final touches left, 1618 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:27,292 and then Lori and Tajko, and her family, 1619 01:20:27,292 --> 01:20:30,042 can come in and see the results of their hard work. 1620 01:20:45,833 --> 01:20:47,625 Oh, my gosh. 1621 01:20:47,625 --> 01:20:50,333 Oh, my gosh! 1622 01:20:55,167 --> 01:20:57,792 It's a new oven, it's a new fridge. 1623 01:20:57,792 --> 01:20:59,583 Is it really? 1624 01:20:59,583 --> 01:21:00,625 I thought it was the same fridge. 1625 01:21:00,625 --> 01:21:02,583 Oh, my gosh. 1626 01:21:04,958 --> 01:21:06,667 It's so beautiful. 1627 01:21:12,125 --> 01:21:14,250 I haven't been smiling a lot for the last couple years, 1628 01:21:14,250 --> 01:21:16,167 but when I walked through that door, 1629 01:21:16,292 --> 01:21:19,625 I just feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. 1630 01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:24,042 Wow! 1631 01:21:24,167 --> 01:21:27,625 So much space to entertain and feed our company. 1632 01:21:27,625 --> 01:21:31,375 I look forward to our bright future in this room. 1633 01:21:31,375 --> 01:21:33,708 It looks like we could have company right now. 1634 01:21:33,708 --> 01:21:36,500 I think so. Oh, my goodness. 1635 01:21:36,500 --> 01:21:38,333 It feels like a different house. 1636 01:21:38,458 --> 01:21:41,125 I never thought I'd see something like this. 1637 01:21:41,125 --> 01:21:43,583 It's just surprising, and exciting, 1638 01:21:43,583 --> 01:21:47,500 and there's so many things I want to do with this space. 1639 01:21:51,167 --> 01:21:52,333 Wow. 1640 01:21:52,333 --> 01:21:53,792 I don't even have to dodge between 1641 01:21:53,792 --> 01:21:56,458 the stuff on the stairs. 1642 01:21:56,458 --> 01:21:58,792 Wow! 1643 01:22:01,833 --> 01:22:04,917 Wow! 1644 01:22:05,042 --> 01:22:06,625 Whoa-ho-ho! 1645 01:22:06,625 --> 01:22:09,167 - Wow. - Oh my gosh. 1646 01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:13,250 My heart is skipping beats. 1647 01:22:13,250 --> 01:22:16,417 Yeah. Mine, too. 1648 01:22:16,417 --> 01:22:18,167 Oh! 1649 01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:22,000 It's hard to describe how I'm feeling. 1650 01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,500 A lot of joy. 1651 01:22:23,625 --> 01:22:28,667 I'm happy that Tajko and Lori have their space now. 1652 01:22:28,667 --> 01:22:32,833 And this was just an amazing opportunity to see my son 1653 01:22:32,833 --> 01:22:35,875 and, to change his life, it was... 1654 01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:38,667 Amazing. 1655 01:22:40,875 --> 01:22:43,333 Oh my gosh. 1656 01:22:51,833 --> 01:22:54,208 Wow! 1657 01:22:54,333 --> 01:22:55,375 Much better. 1658 01:22:55,375 --> 01:22:58,375 So much better, it's a different space. 1659 01:22:58,500 --> 01:23:01,208 It's a different house. 1660 01:23:01,208 --> 01:23:03,958 I want to watch my sister and my nephew 1661 01:23:03,958 --> 01:23:06,333 more than I want to look around. 1662 01:23:06,333 --> 01:23:10,208 And I'm just exploding with joy because I can see 1663 01:23:10,208 --> 01:23:13,667 the emotions of joy and gratitude and release. 1664 01:23:16,333 --> 01:23:18,500 You'll sleep comfortably. 1665 01:23:25,292 --> 01:23:27,667 Hi. 1666 01:23:27,667 --> 01:23:29,583 Oh my gosh, I love it so much. 1667 01:23:29,583 --> 01:23:30,833 I can't believe it. 1668 01:23:30,833 --> 01:23:34,167 - Thank you so much. - You're very welcome. 1669 01:23:34,167 --> 01:23:35,708 The first time I came in here with you... 1670 01:23:35,708 --> 01:23:37,542 Yeah. 1671 01:23:37,542 --> 01:23:39,667 ...you couldn't even say the words, 1672 01:23:39,667 --> 01:23:41,875 "I deserve a space to sleep. 1673 01:23:41,875 --> 01:23:45,167 I deserve a space that's free of everything and 1674 01:23:45,292 --> 01:23:47,875 just private and comfortable for me." 1675 01:23:47,875 --> 01:23:49,625 - Yeah. - How do you feel now? 1676 01:23:49,625 --> 01:23:52,583 I feel so good. It's clear, and we're free. 1677 01:23:52,583 --> 01:23:57,042 I just feel free. I just can't believe it. 1678 01:23:57,042 --> 01:24:01,000 - Oh, I love you so much. - Love you too. 1679 01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:03,167 I'm so proud of you. I'm so thankful for you. 1680 01:24:03,167 --> 01:24:05,917 This day, for me, is absolutely the 1681 01:24:05,917 --> 01:24:08,333 second happiest day of my life. 1682 01:24:08,333 --> 01:24:11,542 And it's second only to the day Tajko was born. 1683 01:24:12,625 --> 01:24:14,792 Ah! 1684 01:24:14,792 --> 01:24:16,958 This was such a meaningful experience 1685 01:24:16,958 --> 01:24:18,625 for everybody involved. 1686 01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:21,167 It's not only going to transform the lives of Lori 1687 01:24:21,167 --> 01:24:23,958 and Tajko, but I think it deeply affected some of 1688 01:24:23,958 --> 01:24:25,792 the members of the community as well. 1689 01:24:25,792 --> 01:24:29,417 Oh! Oh, my gosh. 1690 01:24:29,542 --> 01:24:31,042 I'm so glad you guys could be here for this. 1691 01:24:31,042 --> 01:24:33,333 Yes, it's so amazing. 1692 01:24:33,333 --> 01:24:35,917 I haven't felt this happy in a long time. 1693 01:24:35,917 --> 01:24:38,292 It's a whole new world of opportunities. 1694 01:24:38,292 --> 01:24:40,958 And I'm excited to see where it's going to take me. 1695 01:24:40,958 --> 01:24:42,542 Thank you.