1 00:00:01,917 --> 00:00:03,542 (dramatic music) 2 00:00:03,542 --> 00:00:04,958 - I love everything. 3 00:00:05,917 --> 00:00:07,667 I don't know why I do what I do. 4 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:11,792 - The condition of his house has affected our relationship 5 00:00:11,792 --> 00:00:15,750 to the point where I have never been inside Nathan's house. 6 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,208 - I just don't know who I am 7 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:21,333 and that's probably why I have a lot of (beep) in here. 8 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:25,500 I can't heal if I can't know that I'm okay being who I am. 9 00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:27,625 Oh, good to see you. 10 00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:30,000 - It's been eight years since I've seen Nathan. 11 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,458 I am so excited to see inside. 12 00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:35,542 - I'm the mother of 14 children. 13 00:00:36,417 --> 00:00:38,333 - It's hard to remember her happy. 14 00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:41,042 - I will be so upset at throwing away. 15 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,708 - When you grow up in an abusive household, 16 00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:43,708 it tends to leave a mark. 17 00:00:43,708 --> 00:00:45,250 - I would like an apology. 18 00:00:46,792 --> 00:00:49,125 - Hi, oh my goodness. 19 00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:51,833 I am really excited to see Dorothy. 20 00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:53,167 - I wanna go see her now. 21 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,042 Oh no, it happened. 22 00:00:55,042 --> 00:00:57,000 She's right back in the hoard. 23 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,667 (dramatic music) 24 00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:05,542 (suspenseful music) 25 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,667 (upbeat music) 26 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:52,042 - I am Nathan. I'm 34 years old 27 00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:53,708 and I'm a scavenger. 28 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,208 I get a rush off finding things. 29 00:01:58,208 --> 00:01:59,208 Ooh, green glass. 30 00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:01,500 Jokingly I say I have ADOS. 31 00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:04,375 Attention deficit ooh shiny. 32 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,083 Sweet, I'll take it. Yeah. 33 00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,750 - I'm Kathy Nathan's mother. 34 00:02:09,792 --> 00:02:12,792 Just something about the shiny things he likes. 35 00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:16,292 Shiny rocks, ball caps, anything shiny. 36 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:18,375 So many things. 37 00:02:18,375 --> 00:02:21,500 I mean, just so many things. 38 00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,292 - [Nathan] I have a lot of hot wheels. 39 00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:26,292 I love glass. 40 00:02:26,292 --> 00:02:28,458 I have a lot of puppets. 41 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:31,583 I've always loved rocks, troll dolls. 42 00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:34,500 I love everything. 43 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,250 I don't know why I do what I do. 44 00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:42,708 - I am Ronald and Nathan is my son. 45 00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:46,333 Nathan definitely looking for a pot of gold 46 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,875 at the end of the rainbow. 47 00:02:51,042 --> 00:02:54,250 (emotional music) 48 00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:01,292 - [Kathy] Nathan was five or six when we divorced. 49 00:03:02,125 --> 00:03:03,750 It was very hard. 50 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,792 It was very difficult. 51 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:10,417 - When I started scavenging to deal with tension at home, 52 00:03:12,042 --> 00:03:17,375 I filled the void in my life with stuff. 53 00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:22,375 (emotional music) 54 00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:28,792 The church that I grew up in, 55 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:32,292 I loved everyone there, and 56 00:03:33,208 --> 00:03:34,792 they turned their back on me. 57 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:40,208 My Christian faith teaches me 58 00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:43,250 that homosexuality is wrong. 59 00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,667 - [Kathy] His dad and stepmother was telling Nathan 60 00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:49,333 that he was going to go to hell and die with aids. 61 00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:55,458 Just very upsetting. 62 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:06,917 He is going to be evicted if he doesn't clean up the house. 63 00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:08,875 - This is the lowest I've ever been in my life. 64 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,958 (dramatic music) 65 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,708 - Hi Nathan. - Hey, how are you? 66 00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:21,875 - I'm great. 67 00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:23,125 I'm Dr. Green. 68 00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:25,208 - Nice to meet you. - Come on out. 69 00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,208 I'm Dr. Melva Green, a psychiatrist 70 00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:29,417 specializing in hoarding behaviors. 71 00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:32,833 As soon as Nathan comes out and he and his brother embrace, 72 00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:36,042 it's very clear that they care a lot about each other. 73 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,333 And it was a very tender moment. 74 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:40,250 - Come on in. 75 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:45,833 - When I first walked inside, 76 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:50,750 predominant themes of puppets, cars, 77 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,333 back to the childhood Peter Pan toys. 78 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:58,875 (emotional music) 79 00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:02,792 - [Dr. Green] There's a whole lot of silence here. 80 00:05:02,792 --> 00:05:04,375 What's really going on? 81 00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,167 It's unclear whether or not Nathan 82 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:08,917 just doesn't have the words to express 83 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,542 what's going on with him, 84 00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:12,708 or that he's really just too embarrassed 85 00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:14,875 to talk about it in front of his brother. 86 00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:21,375 (emotional music) 87 00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:25,125 - I know how they... 88 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:28,250 Like my dad, I know how he felt about it with the church. 89 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:31,500 And I know how he still feels about it. 90 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,500 And, you know, I respect his belief. 91 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,750 - Nathan has grown up in a place 92 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:41,875 where homosexuality is just unacceptable. 93 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:45,083 - It's not something I believe myself to be wrong. 94 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,958 - He has put on this face, 95 00:05:47,958 --> 00:05:51,958 it's almost as if he's put on one of his puppets 96 00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:57,125 and moved through his life, hiding behind these masks. 97 00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:00,458 Well, as you start to let this stuff go, 98 00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:03,958 you're gonna have to say some things as well. 99 00:06:03,958 --> 00:06:06,208 People are gonna have to hear some things that 100 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,875 are gonna be tough to hear. 101 00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:10,542 Are you willing? 102 00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:15,042 - Yeah. 103 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,042 - Okay. 104 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,500 (emotional music) 105 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:23,208 - Good morning everyone. - Good morning. 106 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,542 - I'm Standolyn Robertson, 107 00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:27,000 a certified professional organizer. 108 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:32,083 The doctor and I want to really team up 109 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,875 with you and your family to help you through this process. 110 00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,667 - From my perspective, I think this is gonna be important 111 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:41,167 to have a lot of conversation. 112 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,875 There have been a lot of things 113 00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:44,917 that perhaps may not have been said. 114 00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:47,792 Nathan is angry. 115 00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:51,875 Nathan has been holding a tremendous amount of resentment 116 00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:53,417 towards his father. 117 00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:57,500 But until he begins getting rid of the emotional hoard, 118 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,042 nothing's gonna change. 119 00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:01,375 He's just gonna continue to do what he's been doing. 120 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:05,000 (dramatic music) 121 00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:15,083 - So, let's start. 122 00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:16,375 We'll just start here. 123 00:07:17,292 --> 00:07:18,500 - We'll keep... 124 00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:22,458 And Twinky.. 125 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:25,083 - Okay and the rest of these? 126 00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:25,917 - Donate. 127 00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:32,208 - If this was this easy, why are we here? 128 00:07:32,208 --> 00:07:33,458 - It's not easy for me. 129 00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:34,875 I'm just trying to be strong. 130 00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:37,625 One keep. 131 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,667 See, it's getting a little harder. 132 00:07:41,833 --> 00:07:43,875 I'm not gonna get crabby though. 133 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:47,875 - The humor is a great psychological defense mechanism, 134 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:51,000 but ultimately it's concerning that 135 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,958 they really aren't getting into the deep. 136 00:07:53,958 --> 00:07:56,750 They're really not communicating things 137 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:59,583 that really need to be communicated. 138 00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:03,583 (dramatic music) 139 00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:08,917 Nathan, I want you to tell your father what it is 140 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:13,583 that you are really holding onto. 141 00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:18,708 - Do you think being gay is a sin? 142 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,250 - Yes, to me it is. 143 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,917 But can I judge someone? 144 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:25,583 I can't. 145 00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:28,875 - But I can't heal myself 146 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:32,083 if I can't know that I'm okay being who I am. 147 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,792 - Nathan, I accept you the way you are. 148 00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:41,292 Will you accept me the way I am? 149 00:08:41,292 --> 00:08:42,833 - That's not accepting. 150 00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:45,833 - I'm not asking you to change. 151 00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,792 I think you're asking me to change. 152 00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,750 - If you're gonna have deeper connections with your father 153 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,125 and with your family, 154 00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:02,000 you're gonna have to accept you 1000%. 155 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,208 How are you? 156 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,750 - I'm fine, how are you? - Good, this is so pretty. 157 00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,708 - I was called into the room 158 00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:09,375 because Nathan has had a problem with his dad 159 00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:11,500 because of his sexuality. 160 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:15,250 - I've just wanted dad to accept who I am. 161 00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:20,250 - It doesn't matter whether you're gay, it doesn't matter. 162 00:09:21,542 --> 00:09:23,000 We're all different people. 163 00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:27,750 But that doesn't mean we love you any less. 164 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,167 - But there is so much wisdom there 165 00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:32,375 and so much love for you. 166 00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:37,792 You really wanna live and not just continue to exist. 167 00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,542 You better let it go. 168 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:44,958 (emotional music) 169 00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:49,542 The issue is self-acceptance. 170 00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:53,625 Ronald accepting Ronald as he is, 171 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:57,208 and Nathan accepting Nathan as he is. 172 00:09:57,208 --> 00:09:58,708 That's the real healing. 173 00:09:58,708 --> 00:10:00,667 That's the real transformation. 174 00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:04,958 (emotional music) 175 00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:09,167 - What is your decision with all these items on this table? 176 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,708 - Every bit of it needs to go- 177 00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:13,083 - All of it? - All of it? 178 00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,167 - All of it. 179 00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:16,833 - Ron, that's all donate - Trash probably. 180 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,167 - [Dr. Green] Nathan has gotten rid of many of the things 181 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:23,458 that have held him stuck in very childlike 182 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,042 and immature behaviors. 183 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:26,333 - Donate? - Yep. 184 00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,250 - Nathan is finally growing up. 185 00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:34,958 (dramatic music) 186 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:42,958 - [Nathan] Wow. 187 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,792 - [Ronald] This is amazing transformation. 188 00:10:45,792 --> 00:10:48,125 I mean, there's so much clear space. 189 00:10:49,167 --> 00:10:52,042 - When this began, everyone had tears. 190 00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:56,292 Tears of sadness, tears of shame, tears of guilt. 191 00:10:56,292 --> 00:11:00,125 But they're all radiating with a very beautiful glow now, 192 00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:03,208 it's like the weights have been lifted off of 193 00:11:03,208 --> 00:11:05,125 each and every one of their shoulders. 194 00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:07,208 - Holy cow. 195 00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:11,375 Very nice. 196 00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:13,042 - What I like about this room, 197 00:11:13,042 --> 00:11:14,917 I feel like it's not a child's room. 198 00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,833 This room belongs to a man. 199 00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:20,042 - That was kind of the first thought I had when I walked in. 200 00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:24,458 For my family to come and help me with this, 201 00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:26,708 for y'all to come and help me, 202 00:11:26,708 --> 00:11:28,792 that's just really a message of love. 203 00:11:29,625 --> 00:11:38,000 (emotional music) 204 00:11:44,917 --> 00:11:48,292 (upbeat guitar music) 205 00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:11,292 Oh my gosh, hey. - Hey. 206 00:12:11,292 --> 00:12:12,792 - Oh, good to see you. 207 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:16,167 - [Standolyn] It's been eight years since I've seen Nathan. 208 00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:18,750 I'm really proud of the work we did before 209 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:21,042 and so I'm looking forward to seeing 210 00:12:21,042 --> 00:12:23,167 his progress and where he is now. 211 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:27,833 Start from we left and what happened next. 212 00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:33,167 - Well, y'all left and it was about a month later, 213 00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:37,250 I guess, that I decided it was just time to move back home. 214 00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:40,667 After my episode ended, I moved back to Florida. 215 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:45,333 I stayed with my dad for or six years. 216 00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:48,375 - Okay, what happened to all the stuff when you moved here? 217 00:12:49,042 --> 00:12:52,542 - It's still here, it's in a pod. 218 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:54,875 I just basically packed up everything 219 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,292 and moved back to my dad. 220 00:12:56,292 --> 00:12:57,292 - Yeah, you moved back. 221 00:12:57,292 --> 00:12:58,792 So things were good? 222 00:12:58,792 --> 00:13:00,542 - Yeah, yeah, they're still good. 223 00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:03,458 They're so much better now. - Good. 224 00:13:03,458 --> 00:13:04,375 Why? 225 00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:05,500 - You. 226 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:06,750 - No, I mean there... 227 00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:10,500 Is it just dealing with your stuff 228 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,250 changed that relationship? 229 00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:15,042 - No, I think a lot of things changed that. 230 00:13:15,042 --> 00:13:18,167 I think that, you know, doing the show really, 231 00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:19,750 like that was the first time that my parents 232 00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:22,333 had been around each other in 30 years. 233 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:23,625 - Oh yeah. - So- 234 00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:25,083 - Yeah. - And they came 235 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:27,542 together for me like- 236 00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:28,667 - That's huge. 237 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,000 - Yeah, it is. - Yeah. 238 00:13:31,042 --> 00:13:34,333 - It still feels kind of bad though that the stuff is 239 00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:35,542 still packed up. 240 00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:38,792 It's like I took what I thought was my life there 241 00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:42,625 and moved it here, but then, you know, 242 00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,667 I realized that's not really my life. 243 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,583 My life is not my stuff. 244 00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,583 - What did you do afterwards? 245 00:13:48,583 --> 00:13:50,792 Did you do any therapy sessions? 246 00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:52,875 Did you work with an organizer? 247 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,917 - No more organizers 'cause you're the best, 248 00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:57,042 but- - Thank you. 249 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,292 - I did therapy and completed that. 250 00:14:02,292 --> 00:14:04,083 - So I'm interested, 251 00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,375 like when you were at your dad's, 252 00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:10,792 any of the things that came outta our session as far as how 253 00:14:10,792 --> 00:14:12,792 to maintain and take care of things. 254 00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:16,292 Were you able to keep up with it? 255 00:14:16,292 --> 00:14:18,625 - It took a long time for me to learn 256 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,958 to start developing habits. - Yeah. 257 00:14:21,958 --> 00:14:23,583 - That was the biggest thing like, 258 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,333 you know, knowing not to pick up this stuff 259 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,833 that I liked on the side of the road or- 260 00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:31,375 - Right, so did that stop? 261 00:14:32,167 --> 00:14:33,583 - No, that's still there. 262 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:35,042 I still see the shiny stuff 263 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,042 and still I'm tempted to go look- 264 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,750 - But you don't, you don't? 265 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:42,333 Okay, so how did you get from shiny stuff, 266 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:45,375 I gotta take it home to where you are now? 267 00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:46,250 - A lot of help. 268 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,875 A lot of help from a lot of people. 269 00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:49,625 - Okay. - Like yourself. 270 00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:53,708 The show, the therapy, my family. 271 00:14:53,708 --> 00:14:58,875 And then just really recognizing that it's happening. 272 00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:01,250 Like recognizing when it's happening and 273 00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:05,375 moving forward, you know. 274 00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:08,500 - [Standolyn] I am absolutely proud of Nathan. 275 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,542 I think he's prioritizing what's important 276 00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:12,708 and that's what counts. 277 00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:17,542 He's focusing on friendships, family, 278 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:22,708 relationships and all of that's really good. 279 00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:23,708 So we gotta be clear. 280 00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,042 This is a new place. 281 00:15:25,042 --> 00:15:28,500 So you've made the change to move here? 282 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,542 - I moved out of dad's just to basically have my... 283 00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:35,833 Or a space where I felt a little more comfortable. 284 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,875 - Yeah. - And he felt more comfortable. 285 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:40,708 Here I can have a lot of peace. 286 00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:43,042 - [Standolyn] Okay, so you're living with a friend here? 287 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,167 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 288 00:15:49,375 --> 00:15:51,208 - [Nathan] So I work on the land. 289 00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:54,333 That's mostly how I would help my roommate. 290 00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:56,458 He's got a bad back 291 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:59,458 and this stuff's just really hard for him to do by himself. 292 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:03,208 He needed help and I needed a place, 293 00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:05,250 a room of my own that, you know, 294 00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,667 I wasn't given a lot of grief over 295 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,875 how it looked or how I kept it. 296 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:11,958 He's taught me a lot about structure 297 00:16:11,958 --> 00:16:14,208 and has his own routine that 298 00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,333 I've kind of picked up on his routine. 299 00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:18,125 - [Standolyn] Okay, so there could be some good things 300 00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:20,083 with having a routine. 301 00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:22,167 You know, that consistency. 302 00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:24,625 Some of the things we talked about before, 303 00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:25,917 you're doing it here? 304 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,583 - I am. - You're maintaining. 305 00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:30,958 - Yeah. - I am so excited to see inside. 306 00:16:30,958 --> 00:16:32,208 - I can't wait to show you. 307 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,958 - Okay- - Let's go look. 308 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,083 (upbeat guitar music) 309 00:16:53,417 --> 00:16:55,000 - [Standolyn] So this is a new place. 310 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,583 We're not in the same place we were in Georgia. 311 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,417 So it's different. 312 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:02,125 I don't know when I'm gonna see. 313 00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:07,042 For all I know he has gone back to some of his old habits 314 00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:10,125 and this place could be filled with who knows what. 315 00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:11,667 - Come on in. 316 00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:14,083 Oh. 317 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,750 So here it is. 318 00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,625 - Looking good in here. - Thank you. 319 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:25,292 - In Georgia, in the shared space, there was a lot going on. 320 00:17:25,292 --> 00:17:30,458 So I notice that it's really different here, so. 321 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:34,792 It's clear paths, the counters look good. 322 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,000 All of that. 323 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,958 So are you nervous about me being here? 324 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,500 - Oh yeah, yeah. 325 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:41,917 - [Standolyn] Okay, what's that all about? 326 00:17:41,917 --> 00:17:43,458 What's- 327 00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:47,042 - Well, you know, I want for you to be proud of me. 328 00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:49,083 You know, there's... 329 00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:50,958 For you to see that I've picked up 330 00:17:50,958 --> 00:17:52,583 some of the things you've told me to do. 331 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:55,583 - Okay. - And really put 'em to use. 332 00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:56,875 - I am proud of you. 333 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,125 The fact that you came on TV and said, 334 00:17:59,125 --> 00:18:00,625 "this is my struggle." 335 00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:04,708 Do you know how many people you helped by just saying this? 336 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,500 You're a nice young person. 337 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:11,500 You came on camera and you said, "I'm struggling with this." 338 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,708 You helped so many people by doing that. 339 00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:15,875 - Oh, thank you for saying that. 340 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,292 - Yeah, no, you did. 341 00:18:17,292 --> 00:18:20,208 - I wanna show everyone that they can do it themselves. 342 00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:21,458 - Yeah. - You know? 343 00:18:21,458 --> 00:18:22,417 - Yeah, yeah. 344 00:18:22,417 --> 00:18:25,000 That's a nice message to give that. 345 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,625 That you were willing to do... 346 00:18:26,625 --> 00:18:29,542 And everybody's situation is different. 347 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,875 - Yeah. - You know, for some people 348 00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:35,333 they may not be able to maintain the level that you have, 349 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,250 but everybody is working hard at this, 350 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:40,583 so I really appreciate you inviting us back 351 00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:45,542 and so that we could see just your progress. 352 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,500 Let's look around. 353 00:18:48,417 --> 00:18:50,833 So the space looks really good. 354 00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:52,542 There's movies, DVDs. 355 00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:56,000 So are you sitting here with friends? 356 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,458 You and your roommate? - Oh yeah. 357 00:18:57,458 --> 00:19:00,250 Yeah, we have a bunch of friends come over and 358 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:04,042 it's so much different when it's clean. 359 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:05,167 Like to be able to do that- 360 00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:07,208 - Clean and organized. That's the thing. 361 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:10,292 You can get into a space that's clean but not organized. 362 00:19:10,292 --> 00:19:12,917 And this appears to be organized 363 00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:17,917 and that's what's allowing you to be free to have fun. 364 00:19:17,917 --> 00:19:21,000 - I wouldn't have had anybody in my house there, you know. 365 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,292 - Yeah - It was embarrassment. 366 00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:25,458 You know, people come over and... 367 00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:28,792 But then that also leads to not having friends. 368 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,542 You know, when you don't have them over, 369 00:19:30,542 --> 00:19:32,833 you know, people are like, "why won't he let me come over 370 00:19:32,833 --> 00:19:34,500 to his house?" - Yeah. 371 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,875 It was great to see how well he kept the common area. 372 00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:42,667 He has a family room that's set up to invite friends over. 373 00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:46,375 It's more about comradery with friends 374 00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:50,792 rather than focusing on the stuff in his life. 375 00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:56,208 Wow, this looks really good. 376 00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,542 - [Nathan] Thank you. 377 00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,833 Yeah, I try to keep it simple. 378 00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:00,958 - Do you feel good about this? 379 00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:03,292 - Yeah, I do, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 380 00:20:03,292 --> 00:20:04,958 - And I really... 381 00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:06,500 I need to thank you, you know, 382 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,500 you've helped me get to this point. 383 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,875 - You're the one that did the work and that's what counts. 384 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:12,417 Don't forget that. 385 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,000 Do you keep it like this all the time? 386 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,542 Or did you do this because you knew I was coming? 387 00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:19,917 - Well, I mean, some of it, you know, 388 00:20:19,917 --> 00:20:24,042 maybe like folding my clothes that I had to put away. 389 00:20:24,042 --> 00:20:25,458 But I think it's important, 390 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,250 like when you wake up to make your bed, 391 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,833 that sets your whole day. - Okay, so 392 00:20:29,833 --> 00:20:31,667 yes, you do keep it like this. 393 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:35,042 And yes, of course everyone a little something, something 394 00:20:35,042 --> 00:20:36,542 when company's coming. - [Nathan] Yeah. 395 00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:37,958 I do that for sure. - [Nathan] Yeah. 396 00:20:37,958 --> 00:20:41,708 So, but you know what to do, 397 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,042 how to do that little five minute pickup 398 00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:45,917 if someone's coming into your room. 399 00:20:45,917 --> 00:20:47,208 You didn't have that before. 400 00:20:47,208 --> 00:20:49,583 You could not have done that before. 401 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,042 - Well, it's taken a lot of time. 402 00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:54,167 But... 403 00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:56,333 And then a lot of self-realization. 404 00:20:57,875 --> 00:21:02,875 Even today I've learned some things from you that 405 00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:05,208 it's like, "how did you not know this this whole time? 406 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:07,292 You know, why are you not proud of yourself?" 407 00:21:07,292 --> 00:21:09,000 - Oh yeah, yeah. - You know? 408 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,583 - You should be. - So. 409 00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:13,667 - [Standolyn] I am absolutely proud of Nathan 410 00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:14,875 and where he is. 411 00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:18,042 I feel like he's in a good situation now. 412 00:21:18,042 --> 00:21:20,917 He did a great job of maintaining 413 00:21:20,917 --> 00:21:22,625 and keeping some of the systems 414 00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:25,542 that we set in place years ago. 415 00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:28,875 And I feel confident that he will continue that 416 00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:30,333 in the future. 417 00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:32,292 So thank you for having us here. 418 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,292 - [Nathan] Thank you. 419 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,542 - Bye. - All right. 420 00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:35,667 Bye. 421 00:21:36,375 --> 00:21:38,250 (emotional music) 422 00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:47,417 (suspenseful music) 423 00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:56,458 - I am Kathy. 424 00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:58,375 I'm a former dance instructor 425 00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:00,417 and I'm the mother of 14 children. 426 00:22:02,875 --> 00:22:05,083 (suspenseful music) 427 00:22:05,083 --> 00:22:07,292 My house is an absolute labyrinth. 428 00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:08,750 It's very confusing 429 00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:11,500 because I live in the upstairs area. 430 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:12,917 Next to where I live, 431 00:22:12,917 --> 00:22:17,083 I have the dance studio where I used to teach dance. 432 00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:21,292 Below me, I have two apartments that are rentable 433 00:22:21,292 --> 00:22:23,292 and it's majorly cluttered. 434 00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,958 - I'm April and I'm Kathy's 11th child. 435 00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:32,708 My mom's at an age where she should be retired 436 00:22:32,708 --> 00:22:36,458 instead right now, because of her clutter and her hoarding, 437 00:22:36,458 --> 00:22:39,125 she has to work a full-time job. 438 00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,792 It's sad to see 439 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:44,583 because she could make enough income off of the dance studio 440 00:22:45,958 --> 00:22:50,583 in these two apartments that are already available to her 441 00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:51,708 to make money off of. 442 00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:55,583 (suspenseful music) 443 00:23:02,542 --> 00:23:05,708 - I am Sarah and I'm Kathy's eighth child. 444 00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:09,750 When I was growing up, the house was pretty orderly 445 00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:14,000 for the most part, but there was always one room 446 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,375 where everything would end up, 447 00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:18,083 a kind of a catchall for everything. 448 00:23:18,083 --> 00:23:22,708 (emotional music) 449 00:23:26,958 --> 00:23:30,583 - I just was like numb and I just would get bills 450 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:33,917 and I would just pigeon hole and I didn't deal with things. 451 00:23:33,917 --> 00:23:37,917 - I think at that point her disorder took on a new form. 452 00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,458 So there became... 453 00:23:40,458 --> 00:23:43,125 Everyday garbage just piling up. 454 00:23:43,125 --> 00:23:48,792 (emotional music) 455 00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:54,375 - I'm Sam and I'm Kathy's 13th child. 456 00:23:55,625 --> 00:24:00,458 Once the hoarding took hold, my mom would go from one to 11 457 00:24:00,458 --> 00:24:02,833 in a heartbeat over nothing. 458 00:24:04,250 --> 00:24:05,708 - When I was growing up, 459 00:24:05,708 --> 00:24:10,375 my mom had a really unpredictable nature about her. 460 00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:11,958 It would be very traumatic. 461 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,458 Sometimes it was violent 462 00:24:15,458 --> 00:24:18,625 and sometimes it was just yelling and screaming. 463 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,375 - I would have to be honest and say, 464 00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:22,333 yes, I was verbally abusive. 465 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:24,042 I can remember too many days of yelling 466 00:24:24,042 --> 00:24:26,208 and there were times of physical abuse. 467 00:24:27,375 --> 00:24:32,708 (dramatic music) 468 00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:35,625 - I love my mom. 469 00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:40,542 I want her to spend her last final years in peace. 470 00:24:40,792 --> 00:24:44,458 But I fear that my mom will pass away 471 00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:46,833 in a state of mind that's not healthy, 472 00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:49,542 in a home that's surrounded with gross, 473 00:24:49,542 --> 00:24:51,708 disgusting dirt. 474 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:55,083 - [Sam] My mother is notorious for 475 00:24:55,083 --> 00:24:56,833 always putting things down 476 00:24:56,833 --> 00:24:59,375 and leaving them saying, "I'm gonna leave it for tomorrow. 477 00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:01,333 I'll get to it tomorrow." 478 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:05,250 And that's why I'm here because I want to help her 479 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:06,750 before she runs out of tomorrows. 480 00:25:07,458 --> 00:25:11,667 (dramatic music) 481 00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:13,625 - Good morning everybody. - Morning. 482 00:25:16,208 --> 00:25:17,292 - I'm Dorothy Breininger. 483 00:25:17,292 --> 00:25:19,292 I'm a professional organizing expert 484 00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:20,833 and I specialize in hoarding. 485 00:25:20,833 --> 00:25:23,333 Our main goal here is to get you 486 00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:24,833 out of this financial crisis. 487 00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:26,875 - Right, right. - So first, 488 00:25:26,875 --> 00:25:29,333 we're going to work on the two downstairs apartments 489 00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:30,583 and the dance studio. 490 00:25:30,583 --> 00:25:31,792 We need to get moving. 491 00:25:32,958 --> 00:25:39,375 (dramatic music) 492 00:25:39,375 --> 00:25:47,625 (dramatic music continues) 493 00:25:47,625 --> 00:25:49,458 - Hey, why don't we sit right over here, Kathy. 494 00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:50,708 I'm Dr. David Tolin. 495 00:25:50,708 --> 00:25:52,708 I'm a clinical psychologist who specializes 496 00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:55,708 in the study and treatment of hoarding disorder. 497 00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:59,583 - Right behind you are these tutus, Dr. Tolin. 498 00:25:59,583 --> 00:26:03,042 And I'd like to get a blanket rule 499 00:26:03,042 --> 00:26:05,042 about what we're going to do with these costumes. 500 00:26:05,042 --> 00:26:08,000 - So what do you think the blanket rule ought to be, Kathy? 501 00:26:08,792 --> 00:26:12,208 - I will be so upset at throwing them away. 502 00:26:12,208 --> 00:26:13,500 - It will be upsetting. 503 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,875 - I mean, can we just come back to it? 504 00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,875 - Remember, the not dealing with it, 505 00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:19,917 that's the kind of behavior that leads to hoarding. 506 00:26:19,917 --> 00:26:21,917 - I do see a whole lot of uses for 'em. 507 00:26:21,917 --> 00:26:24,000 Just for Christmas decoration. 508 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,792 I can make like a little Christmas tree. 509 00:26:26,792 --> 00:26:30,792 - She has this burning desire to just hang on to things. 510 00:26:30,792 --> 00:26:33,375 I need it, I want it, it's mine. 511 00:26:33,375 --> 00:26:35,167 I'm gonna donate it to this place. 512 00:26:35,167 --> 00:26:38,542 The bottom line is she just wants it. 513 00:26:38,542 --> 00:26:44,042 (dramatic music) 514 00:26:44,958 --> 00:26:48,292 - I am going to need you to look to your children 515 00:26:48,292 --> 00:26:49,875 to make decisions. 516 00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:53,500 So if it's soiled, if it's dirty, 517 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,792 if it's stinky, if it's broken. 518 00:26:56,792 --> 00:26:59,625 Okay, family, let's get to it. 519 00:27:00,667 --> 00:27:08,208 (dramatic music) 520 00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:14,750 (dramatic music continues) 521 00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:18,708 (emotional music) 522 00:27:18,708 --> 00:27:21,917 (April crying) 523 00:27:26,417 --> 00:27:29,208 - [Dr. Tolin] A lot of these kids are really struggling. 524 00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:31,167 When you grow up as a child of a hoarder 525 00:27:31,167 --> 00:27:32,875 or you grow up in an abusive household, 526 00:27:32,875 --> 00:27:34,750 it tends to leave a mark. 527 00:27:37,208 --> 00:27:42,333 (dramatic music) 528 00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:46,083 - Kathy, you tired. - A little bit. 529 00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:48,500 It's hard to let go of some things. 530 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,667 - Do you feel beaten up? - Kind of, yeah. 531 00:27:51,542 --> 00:27:53,042 - It's just painful, 532 00:27:53,042 --> 00:27:56,792 she's experiencing what I experienced as a 4-year-old 533 00:27:56,792 --> 00:27:58,542 or a 6-year-old, 8-year-old, 534 00:27:58,542 --> 00:28:00,208 and it's bringing the same thing up. 535 00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:03,292 It's like, I'm going through that right now. 536 00:28:03,292 --> 00:28:04,833 - Am I talking too sharply? 537 00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:06,208 - I hate what you make me do. 538 00:28:07,292 --> 00:28:11,917 (suspenseful music) 539 00:28:13,542 --> 00:28:15,708 - It's like how the (censored) did you talk to us 540 00:28:15,708 --> 00:28:17,083 all the time? 541 00:28:17,083 --> 00:28:20,333 - Sarah had to endure kathy's meanness 542 00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:21,958 her entire childhood. 543 00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:26,333 So to hear Kathy complain that Dorothy 544 00:28:26,333 --> 00:28:29,292 is being mean is just too much for her to bear. 545 00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:32,625 I had to walk away otherwise I would've yelled and screamed 546 00:28:32,625 --> 00:28:34,458 and I don't know what would've happened. 547 00:28:36,333 --> 00:28:39,125 I walked to the store and then came back. 548 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:45,125 I feel more calm right now and a whole lot more in control. 549 00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:51,208 (suspenseful music) 550 00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:52,458 - Three, 551 00:28:52,458 --> 00:28:53,583 two, 552 00:28:53,583 --> 00:28:54,958 one, move. 553 00:28:56,333 --> 00:29:06,042 (dramatic music) 554 00:29:06,042 --> 00:29:13,208 (dramatic music continues) 555 00:29:13,208 --> 00:29:15,958 - What really has amazed me is how much 556 00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:19,792 love and support your kids are showing toward you. 557 00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,375 - Right, yeah. - Which is 558 00:29:21,375 --> 00:29:22,333 really impressive. 559 00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:25,125 You know, we've been talking about kind of 560 00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:28,375 trying to heal behavior and trying to heal the house. 561 00:29:29,375 --> 00:29:32,208 Is there anything else that the family need 562 00:29:32,208 --> 00:29:33,917 in order to heal? 563 00:29:36,167 --> 00:29:39,917 - Mom, it's been a long time and we all talk about it, 564 00:29:39,917 --> 00:29:42,167 but we all don't talk about it to you. 565 00:29:43,083 --> 00:29:47,042 And in as few words, it was hard growing up. 566 00:29:48,667 --> 00:29:50,375 And even to this day, 567 00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:53,333 you haven't ever come forward and said, 568 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,458 "I'm sorry for the way I treated you." 569 00:29:57,083 --> 00:30:00,042 And I would like an apology. 570 00:30:01,292 --> 00:30:05,333 - Well, let me say that, not only to you Sarah, 571 00:30:05,333 --> 00:30:06,458 but to everyone. 572 00:30:09,125 --> 00:30:13,458 I do apologize for the way each of you were treated. 573 00:30:14,375 --> 00:30:17,292 I've hurt you and I apologize for that. 574 00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:20,625 - This is something that I've been wanting 575 00:30:20,625 --> 00:30:24,167 for a lot of years, but not really knowing how to ask. 576 00:30:24,167 --> 00:30:27,167 - And April, I know I've hurt you and I apologize for that. 577 00:30:27,167 --> 00:30:28,583 - I appreciate you, mom. 578 00:30:29,458 --> 00:30:33,875 - A lot of weight has lifted in the relationship with my mom 579 00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,958 as well as with my siblings. 580 00:30:36,875 --> 00:30:37,792 - It's okay. 581 00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:39,958 - She took everyone individually 582 00:30:39,958 --> 00:30:43,667 and that preciousness of each person to her 583 00:30:43,667 --> 00:30:45,000 seemed to shine through. 584 00:30:45,875 --> 00:30:50,625 (upbeat music) 585 00:30:52,167 --> 00:30:53,625 - I want you to chuck this in here. 586 00:30:53,625 --> 00:30:55,208 I'm holding it, you're chucking. 587 00:30:55,208 --> 00:30:56,792 - Okay. 588 00:30:56,792 --> 00:30:59,417 (upbeat music) 589 00:31:00,833 --> 00:31:03,625 - We have actually succeeded in clearing everything out. 590 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:06,417 Now we just need to show Kathy what has been done. 591 00:31:12,042 --> 00:31:13,917 (mellow music) 592 00:31:13,917 --> 00:31:15,917 - Look at this, wow. 593 00:31:18,375 --> 00:31:20,958 - The whole thing here was we really wanted to create 594 00:31:20,958 --> 00:31:23,292 some financial security for Kathy. 595 00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:27,625 Is this rentable? 596 00:31:27,625 --> 00:31:29,417 - This is rentable. - Okay. 597 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,042 (mellow music) 598 00:31:33,042 --> 00:31:35,042 - Oh my goodness. 599 00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:42,708 Oh my gosh, you guys, oh. - This is beautiful. 600 00:31:42,708 --> 00:31:45,333 (group laughs) 601 00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:49,250 - Kathy, your family is here for you. 602 00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:52,042 They're here to celebrate and support you. 603 00:31:52,042 --> 00:31:54,042 After all this family has been through, 604 00:31:54,042 --> 00:31:56,625 they still show love and generosity 605 00:31:56,625 --> 00:31:58,250 of spirit toward Kathy. 606 00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,958 It's really wonderful to see. 607 00:31:59,958 --> 00:32:01,875 - I didn't expect this. 608 00:32:01,875 --> 00:32:07,042 Thank you everyone for being so amazing. 609 00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:13,083 (upbeat music) 610 00:32:22,125 --> 00:32:25,250 (mellow guitar music) 611 00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:39,542 (Dorthy knocks on the door) 612 00:32:39,542 --> 00:32:40,792 - There she is. 613 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,708 - Hi, oh my goodness. 614 00:32:42,708 --> 00:32:43,708 Dorothy, hi. 615 00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:47,917 Oh my goodness. So good to see you. 616 00:32:47,917 --> 00:32:50,792 I am really excited to see Dorothy. 617 00:32:50,792 --> 00:32:53,708 I think that out of all the people 618 00:32:53,708 --> 00:32:55,250 that could have come back, 619 00:32:55,250 --> 00:32:59,292 Dorothy is the best because she can get through to mom. 620 00:32:59,292 --> 00:33:02,000 They definitely have a very special relationship. 621 00:33:02,708 --> 00:33:04,250 - Oh my gosh. 622 00:33:04,875 --> 00:33:07,708 - Oh, come on in. 623 00:33:07,708 --> 00:33:10,292 - Whoa. - Yeah. 624 00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,375 - [Dorothy] So glad to see this space. 625 00:33:12,375 --> 00:33:14,875 It looks identical to when I left. 626 00:33:14,875 --> 00:33:17,625 - Yes, and it's rented. - You're kidding. 627 00:33:17,625 --> 00:33:19,417 - I'm not kidding and so was the other unit. 628 00:33:19,417 --> 00:33:22,667 - So you have both units rented. 629 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,542 - Yes, so wonderful. 630 00:33:24,542 --> 00:33:27,458 - So after your mom got these units rented, 631 00:33:27,458 --> 00:33:30,125 did that solve her financial crisis? 632 00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:31,708 'Cause that's what we were here for, right? 633 00:33:31,708 --> 00:33:35,458 - She was able to retire and now she lives comfortably. 634 00:33:35,458 --> 00:33:37,500 She doesn't stress a lot over 635 00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:39,583 "I have to work, I have to make money. 636 00:33:39,583 --> 00:33:40,583 I need to keep going. 637 00:33:40,583 --> 00:33:41,458 Keep going, keep going." 638 00:33:41,458 --> 00:33:43,917 - And what about mom's health? 639 00:33:43,917 --> 00:33:46,375 - It's been declining for sure. 640 00:33:46,375 --> 00:33:48,833 She's, you know, no young pup. 641 00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:50,375 So- 642 00:33:50,375 --> 00:33:53,333 - And Kathy is how old right now? 643 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:54,458 - 83. 644 00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:56,750 - 83. 645 00:33:56,750 --> 00:33:59,375 I mean, I don't know whether to talk about Kathy 646 00:33:59,375 --> 00:34:01,458 or whether to talk about what I'm seeing here. 647 00:34:01,458 --> 00:34:03,375 - The last time we were here, 648 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:06,542 this was all kinds of stuff here. 649 00:34:06,542 --> 00:34:08,042 - Well, yeah, there was the hoard, 650 00:34:08,042 --> 00:34:10,458 but then when I left, it looked just like this. 651 00:34:10,458 --> 00:34:11,625 - Yes, yes. 652 00:34:11,625 --> 00:34:13,250 - [Dr. Green] By the way, how are the renters? 653 00:34:13,250 --> 00:34:15,208 Judging by this unit, 654 00:34:15,208 --> 00:34:17,292 it's perfect. 655 00:34:17,292 --> 00:34:18,875 - [April] Wonderful, yes, yes. 656 00:34:18,875 --> 00:34:20,208 We have some wonderful renters. 657 00:34:20,208 --> 00:34:21,875 They take care of the space. 658 00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:23,042 They love it. 659 00:34:23,042 --> 00:34:24,292 Love it here. 660 00:34:24,292 --> 00:34:26,000 They say mom's such a great landlord. 661 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,875 You know how she's just so bubbly 662 00:34:27,875 --> 00:34:29,875 and love to get along with. 663 00:34:29,875 --> 00:34:31,458 So yeah, they love it here. 664 00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:32,542 - This is... 665 00:34:32,542 --> 00:34:34,583 I could never have asked for anything better. 666 00:34:34,583 --> 00:34:37,375 Wow, wow, wow, wow, I wanna go see her now. 667 00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:40,917 - Yes, let's go do that. That way. 668 00:34:40,917 --> 00:34:44,375 - The downstairs area apartment is super organized, 669 00:34:44,375 --> 00:34:46,500 super clean, clear of clutter. 670 00:34:47,500 --> 00:34:49,458 And then we go upstairs and I see Kathy, 671 00:34:49,458 --> 00:34:52,792 this gem in blue and glitter. 672 00:34:52,792 --> 00:34:55,750 She's right back in the hoard. 673 00:34:55,750 --> 00:34:57,417 - It's been too many years. 674 00:34:57,417 --> 00:34:59,208 - It's been almost a decade. 675 00:34:59,208 --> 00:35:02,542 - Yeah, I thought that, "oh my gosh." 676 00:35:02,542 --> 00:35:04,708 You know, I was never gonna see you again. 677 00:35:04,708 --> 00:35:07,208 You know, in real person, you know. 678 00:35:07,208 --> 00:35:10,042 - Yeah, here we are. - Yeah, look at this. 679 00:35:10,042 --> 00:35:12,875 - The best thing for me is walking in 680 00:35:12,875 --> 00:35:15,750 and seeing you here, okay? 681 00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:18,333 - That's me too. - I really wanted to see you. 682 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:20,333 - Yeah, that's wonderful. - And of course, April, 683 00:35:20,333 --> 00:35:22,458 right? - Right, right. 684 00:35:22,458 --> 00:35:24,417 - I'm really proud of you. - I've got family. 685 00:35:24,417 --> 00:35:26,625 - You've got family. - Right. 686 00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:29,667 - But something happened. - Right. 687 00:35:30,792 --> 00:35:33,500 (dramatic music) 688 00:35:34,542 --> 00:35:37,583 - This is pretty close to how it looked before. 689 00:35:37,583 --> 00:35:38,375 - Right. 690 00:35:40,208 --> 00:35:42,125 - Well- - Tell me about all this. 691 00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:45,917 - Okay, so yeah, it's clean in one apartment 692 00:35:45,917 --> 00:35:47,542 and clean in the other. 693 00:35:47,542 --> 00:35:50,458 And so whatever was down there came up here. 694 00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:53,333 - When we left, things were looking really good. 695 00:35:53,333 --> 00:35:54,833 - Right. - Really, really good. 696 00:35:54,833 --> 00:35:58,250 And I can see into all the rooms, I see the bedrooms, 697 00:35:58,250 --> 00:36:00,208 the dining room and this room. 698 00:36:00,208 --> 00:36:01,458 - [Kathy] Right. 699 00:36:01,458 --> 00:36:05,583 - How long did it take for this to start 700 00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:09,833 cluttering up again and then turn back into 701 00:36:09,833 --> 00:36:10,792 what I would call a hoard? 702 00:36:10,792 --> 00:36:15,375 - Yeah, right, I guess just gradually. 703 00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:17,417 - It was gradual? - Yeah. 704 00:36:17,417 --> 00:36:19,750 - As I'm looking around, I'm seeing 705 00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:22,917 the same kind of hoarding that was there before. 706 00:36:22,917 --> 00:36:24,750 So that's old food. 707 00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:27,208 I'm seeing dishes, I'm seeing paper. 708 00:36:27,208 --> 00:36:29,125 I mean, there's no rhyme or reason, 709 00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:32,000 but the worst of all is 710 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,208 that there is not a single path that I can see so far 711 00:36:36,208 --> 00:36:39,875 that is clear and easy for Kathy to walk. 712 00:36:39,875 --> 00:36:42,375 Have you fallen in here yet? 713 00:36:42,375 --> 00:36:44,458 - Yes, I have. - You have? 714 00:36:44,458 --> 00:36:48,958 - Well, walking over this, that's why I use my cane now. 715 00:36:48,958 --> 00:36:52,250 - You're a little emotional about that question. 716 00:36:52,250 --> 00:36:53,833 Yeah, what's going on for you? 717 00:36:53,833 --> 00:36:57,292 - Well, it's hard to see mom like this. 718 00:36:57,292 --> 00:37:01,958 It's hard to know that one fall could be it, 719 00:37:01,958 --> 00:37:06,500 that we may not know that something's happened. 720 00:37:07,708 --> 00:37:10,708 It's hard to know that her health is declining 721 00:37:10,708 --> 00:37:12,500 and this is not helping it at all. 722 00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:16,375 (suspenseful music) 723 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:22,792 (suspenseful music) 724 00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:35,292 After all the work that we did on the show before, 725 00:37:35,292 --> 00:37:39,958 it is so disheartening to see the way that the upstairs is. 726 00:37:39,958 --> 00:37:42,292 We were so hopeful that 727 00:37:42,292 --> 00:37:44,417 this was gonna be a fresh start for mom. 728 00:37:44,417 --> 00:37:47,667 But then it turned into not that, 729 00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:52,708 it turned into more room for her to create another hoard 730 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,958 with old stuff and new stuff. 731 00:37:56,625 --> 00:37:59,833 - April, in terms of how you saw 732 00:38:00,750 --> 00:38:03,958 all of the re-hoarding unfold, 733 00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:06,333 what was your experience, how you saw it? 734 00:38:06,333 --> 00:38:09,417 - Well, I know when I last saw you, 735 00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:13,542 the task was to take the boxes and go one at a time 736 00:38:13,542 --> 00:38:17,208 and decide, keep, donate, throw away. 737 00:38:17,208 --> 00:38:19,625 And kind of what happened was, 738 00:38:19,625 --> 00:38:22,083 the boxes came upstairs and just got... 739 00:38:22,083 --> 00:38:24,083 That process didn't happen. 740 00:38:24,083 --> 00:38:25,708 - Okay. - And so right away 741 00:38:25,708 --> 00:38:29,083 a lot of the things that she was meant to go through 742 00:38:29,083 --> 00:38:30,542 came right back into the house. 743 00:38:30,542 --> 00:38:33,208 And then, you know, mom likes to collect things. 744 00:38:33,208 --> 00:38:36,125 So she buys this, buys that. 745 00:38:36,125 --> 00:38:37,708 You know, if a close is on sale, 746 00:38:37,708 --> 00:38:40,083 she can't resist a good deal and- 747 00:38:40,083 --> 00:38:41,833 - Yep. - Gets that and 748 00:38:41,833 --> 00:38:46,167 so it just kind of came back and again and again, you just 749 00:38:46,167 --> 00:38:47,500 build, build, build. 750 00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:50,208 - You and your siblings' ability to come here 751 00:38:50,208 --> 00:38:52,708 and do something about this. 752 00:38:52,708 --> 00:38:53,667 Explain. 753 00:38:53,667 --> 00:38:56,375 Because it's not your problem 754 00:38:56,375 --> 00:38:59,167 and it's not your fault, let me say that. 755 00:38:59,167 --> 00:39:04,083 But explain how it is that you can't get in here anymore to 756 00:39:04,083 --> 00:39:05,458 do anything. 757 00:39:05,458 --> 00:39:07,167 - When effort's made, 758 00:39:08,208 --> 00:39:10,917 you know, a couple weeks later, you come back and it's 759 00:39:12,167 --> 00:39:14,417 right back where it was. 760 00:39:14,417 --> 00:39:17,000 - The one thing I would wanna say to Kathy's kids 761 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,667 and all the family members 762 00:39:18,667 --> 00:39:21,125 who were helping on the hoard originally, 763 00:39:21,875 --> 00:39:26,292 they worked hard and they've done this over 764 00:39:26,292 --> 00:39:28,792 and over and over again 765 00:39:28,792 --> 00:39:32,250 and they are not at fault at all 766 00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:38,458 for how often they visit this place or not visit this place. 767 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,375 This room, to me, was the most emotional room- 768 00:39:43,375 --> 00:39:44,625 - Uh huh, right. 769 00:39:44,625 --> 00:39:47,167 - During our time together. - Right. 770 00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:50,500 - This is the room where the whole family was kind of 771 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,625 curved around and it was at that point 772 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:58,708 that you went to every single child and apologized. 773 00:39:59,750 --> 00:40:01,917 - It was hard, it was humbling. 774 00:40:01,917 --> 00:40:03,250 So it did feel good 775 00:40:03,250 --> 00:40:05,542 and just made me realize that that was... 776 00:40:05,542 --> 00:40:08,208 You know, there was a lot more pain than... 777 00:40:08,208 --> 00:40:09,833 A lot of pain that I didn't realize 778 00:40:09,833 --> 00:40:12,167 that the children had, you know. 779 00:40:12,167 --> 00:40:15,125 - How has it been since then, 780 00:40:15,125 --> 00:40:17,250 since that big apology? 781 00:40:17,250 --> 00:40:21,833 - It really felt like all the difficulty as children, 782 00:40:21,833 --> 00:40:23,708 all the hardships in this house 783 00:40:23,708 --> 00:40:25,833 and clearing out that muck 784 00:40:27,042 --> 00:40:30,042 and her saying, "please forgive me," 785 00:40:30,042 --> 00:40:33,917 and giving that away was it for me. 786 00:40:33,917 --> 00:40:38,833 So I know for me, I felt that it was gone. 787 00:40:38,833 --> 00:40:43,250 That I wasn't gonna carry difficulty forward. 788 00:40:43,250 --> 00:40:47,625 But I think for some of my siblings, they still see this. 789 00:40:47,625 --> 00:40:49,042 They still see this- 790 00:40:49,042 --> 00:40:51,708 - Meaning the hoard. - Right, yeah, right. 791 00:40:51,708 --> 00:40:54,667 - Family members, do they come here? 792 00:40:54,667 --> 00:40:55,750 Do- - Oh no, 793 00:40:55,750 --> 00:40:57,833 why would they come anyway? 794 00:40:57,833 --> 00:40:59,542 - Oh- - I mean, you know. 795 00:40:59,542 --> 00:41:00,875 - [Dr. Green] Tell me, 796 00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:02,375 why would they come? - Why would they wanna come? 797 00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:05,708 - Why would they wanna come if the space were cleared out? 798 00:41:05,708 --> 00:41:08,500 - Right. - Because you are 799 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,125 heading into the sunset years. 800 00:41:11,125 --> 00:41:13,417 - Oh yeah, absolutely. 801 00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:16,125 - You know, from an adult kid point of view, 802 00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:20,542 I know that as my mom is aging, she's 91, 803 00:41:20,542 --> 00:41:22,958 we grow older and we become wiser 804 00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:25,583 and we say, "oh, I better make the most of 805 00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:27,917 what time left I have with my mom." 806 00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:32,292 - I see my mom as a human being that's struggling 807 00:41:32,292 --> 00:41:33,667 and I wanna help her. 808 00:41:33,667 --> 00:41:36,708 I wanted to take the time that she has left 809 00:41:36,708 --> 00:41:39,833 and be able to guide her gracefully 810 00:41:39,833 --> 00:41:43,667 to the other side while she's still here. 811 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:47,542 - If you can, what I want you to do 812 00:41:47,542 --> 00:41:49,917 is consider getting a team in here again 813 00:41:51,208 --> 00:41:53,500 and getting rid of the stuff now for sure. 814 00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:54,583 - Yeah. 815 00:41:54,583 --> 00:41:56,208 - And have family over. - Sure. 816 00:41:57,208 --> 00:41:58,667 - Okay? - Yeah. 817 00:41:59,625 --> 00:42:01,208 - Thank you for having me. - Alright. 818 00:42:01,208 --> 00:42:04,167 - I appreciate you. You're a wonderful lady, okay? 819 00:42:04,167 --> 00:42:05,667 - Alright. 820 00:42:06,708 --> 00:42:09,667 (emotional music)