- I have about 40 vehicles. (laughs)
- [Dorothy] Pistons, motors, engines.
- Tim considers himself to be a collector.
- You don't just throw everything out.
- [Dorothy] This house is not a house, it's a garage.
- This is a kitchen here.
So where do you eat and where do you sleep?
- [Debby] My sister would not allow me to go to her house.
(sobs) Oh!
- It's not all your fault.
- What? What? All her fault?
- We have to clean the place up or we're gonna go separate ways.
- [Debby] I don't think Tim's gonna do well
with letting things go.
- You just want these gone for some reason.
I'm trying like hell.
I'll tell you what, girl.
- [DeeDee] You don't need any of this.
- [Tim] Just let me handle it, I know what I'm doing.
- Tim has no choice.
Keep me or this junk.
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
(bluesy rock music)
- I'm Tim and I love to work on cars.
(bluesy rock music)
I have approximately 10 and three quarter acres.
I have about 40 vehicles. (laughs)
I have a 20 foot boat called Misbehaving.
A few motorcycles, you name it.
Car parts, motorcycle parts, hot rod stuff.
That big trailer is an old Atlas van line.
My house is approximately 3,000 square feet.
Inside my house is small engines, carburetors,
specialty stuff, a ton of tools.
Do I consider myself a hoarder?
Yes, but no. (laughs)
I'm so, I don't want to admit it, but yeah, I guess I am.
And I never even thought about it, really.
(bluesy rock music)
- I'm DeeDee, I'm Tim's wife.
Tim considers himself to be a collector of things.
And what is junk to me is not junk to him.
And he can find the use for just about anything.
Tim will see a rundown vehicle on the side of the road
and meet any stranger and bargain with him,
"Hey, I can fix that up."
- Needs some love.
- Before I know it,
there are more and more and more vehicles on our property
that he might say, "I bought that a year ago,
but I'm just now getting it to the house."
He has good intentions.
He's a real good handyman.
He can fix anything, but he took on too much.
Just way too much.
- I'm overwhelmed by all of it,
I try to play catch up constantly and it's,
there's a lot more than I can handle now.
- Tim and I have been married,
I think, 31 years, a long time. (laughs)
(gentle piano music)
We had lake property and this cute lake house.
And one day I was at work
and the realtor that sold it to us said,
"I hate to tell you, but your house burned down."
And you just can't do anything about it.
They have no idea what happened or how it started.
I didn't want to rebuild at that location
because it just brought back bad memories.
So we bought 10 acres and built a house.
- [Tim] Got it done right at the end of 1995.
Bought and paid for and it's all been there ever since.
- It was a beautiful home at one time, it was.
It was something I was very proud of.
(pensive music)
- That's when I sold my shop, eight miles away on the highway.
This is my old shop
and there's one of my old signs on the side of the building.
The majority of the cars on my property is,
they came from here.
This is my paint room.
And I had my tools and all my machine stuff right here.
I got rid of this
because I was getting ripped off every time I'd leave.
It was crazy.
And it's like, this is insane.
I'm losing little by little, I'm losing everything I got.
And I had 12 years there on that location.
So I had a lot of vehicles, a lot of parts.
All the inventory went to the house.
And so now it looks like I've got a junkyard at my house.
But a lot of that was what I had here, you know?
- It took several months for him to clean everything out
and gradually bring it to the house.
(tense music)
- She asked me one day, she said,
"Do you mind if I stay at our other house?"
Her mother had passed and we got a big house in Tyler,
which is 30 miles to the east and where she was gonna work,
it's 40 miles further east from there.
She said, "What I want to do is stay there
instead of coming all the way back over here
at no telling what time,
just to go touch base with you and then get right back up."
And I said, "Sure, of course.
You just call me and let me know you're all right."
(somber music)
I noticed that I was getting depressed because I'm alone.
So I started doing the work inside the house.
Oh gosh.
Because I didn't have a building anymore.
And that was, it looks good on paper,
you know, work in this room and sleep in there,
but it doesn't work in real world
because she would come home and just,
"What in the world are you doing?"
Well, I'm just rebuilding this engine right here in the den
and I'm watching a football game or whatever. (laughs)
And the farther it went on, the more it pushed her away.
- Every time I come to the house, there's more and more.
And he goes, "No, there isn't."
And I said, "There's more than the last time I was here."
We were fighting every time I went out there,
it was a fight.
So we were at a bad place, we really were.
It was bad.
(tense music)
- If I don't clean up,
my wife is definitely going to the ol',
I'm just gonna get a lawyer and get a divorce.
I'm kind of scared of that.
I love her and everything,
but something has to absolutely change.
And no going back.
- I told Tim, I said,
you can either decide to get rid of all this trash
and we can have a marriage again,
or you're going to keep all this here.
And then this is not a marriage, that I have to live far away
and come here for like 20 minutes out of a weekend
and then leave again.
When you live apart like that
and you don't have any connection,
why not just be by myself?
- I'm Donna, I'm DeeDee's younger sister.
Years ago when I last saw the property,
the house looked very nice.
I never knew the extent of what was going on
with the property and with Tim and DeeDee until recently,
she finally opened up to let us know
that it was pretty severe.
And even at this moment,
I still don't know how severe it is.
- I'm Debby, I'm DeeDee's older sister.
My sister DeeDee would not allow me to go to her house.
- I just kept it to myself for the biggest part of the time
because it was so disturbing
that I could ever let myself get in this situation.
And then I finally started talking about it
on occasion because it's getting outta hand.
- When she finally let us know that there was a problem,
my sister Donna and I would tell her,
"Well, we can come out and help you clean up."
And she would say,
"No, I won't let you come to the house."
- It makes me extremely sad
because I've watched my sister struggle
and it makes me angry and sad at the same time.
And it's hurtful for me to see DeeDee
not even feel comfortable to go to her own home.
- My relationship with Donna and Debby has been,
it's really been sketchy because I know they're protective.
Of course they are, they love their sister.
Naturally they're gonna defend their sister, period.
You know, I'm the bad guy 'cause it's your fault.
- I'm very upset with Tim about what he's done to her.
I feel like if he really loved her and cared about her
and wanted her there,
then he would've put every effort he had
to getting it cleaned up.
- It's very frustrating to me
because my sister DeeDee worked really hard
to change the situation and it was the same old story.
Well, I went out and tried to help,
but Tim wouldn't let me throw anything out.
So here we go again.
And that just went on for years and years.
- My relationship with DeeDee is very close.
We are always there to support each other.
And that's the reason I'm here is because of DeeDee.
And I'm hoping Tim doesn't do this again.
(tense music)
- The fire marshal explained to me
the law according to the state of Texas,
and I concurred with him about unsightly things and he said,
"Well, if you don't get it done by a certain time,"
like, he gave me three weeks
to make a noticeable change, then I would get a citation.
And those are pretty hefty, up to $5,000.
Yeah, per citation. I'm like, what?
(dramatic music)
- I told Tim, I'm not paying for anything.
And I kept telling him, why can't you sell things?
And if that's what it takes,
you'll have to sell everything
and pay for the fines 'cause I'm not paying for anything.
- I think this is his last chance with my sister.
She has stood by him through all of this.
And I don't know what else she can do.
With the effort that's being made
by everyone here to clean up
and if he is not willing to do that,
then there's nothing left.
- I don't think Tim's gonna do well with letting things go.
I don't think that he has mentally accepted the issues
to the point where he knows he needs help.
I think it is his protection,
his possessions are what makes him
and his fear of losing and disconnecting
from those things that make him feel safe,
I think are gonna be very difficult for him.
- Tim has no choice but to let things go
because I'm at my wit's end.
I literally want to go in there and say,
let's put it in bags, we don't need this.
And I'm at that point
to just start chucking it in the trash.
And yes, he will get mad.
I don't care anymore.
Something's gonna happen
or else you decide if you're going to keep me or this junk.
(dramatic music)
(light country music)
- I do love Tim.
He's one wonderful guy
and he has good intentions and a good heart.
But this was the main barrier that was separating us.
And I thought, something has to give.
Either you're going to agree
that we have to clean the place up
or we're gonna go separate ways.
(light country music)
(knocking on door)
- Hi Tim, I'm Dr. Tolin.
- Nice to meet you, Dr. Tolin. - Nice to meet you.
I'm Dr. David Tolin.
I'm a clinical psychologist and I specialize
in the study and treatment of hoarding disorder.
May I come in? - You sure may.
- Excellent. - Come on in.
- Thanks for having me in.
- Careful where you walk.
- I will, yeah.
(tense music)
So let me just ask a little bit
about this area that we're looking at here.
So this is a kitchen here.
Obviously, it looks like
it would be hard to prepare food here.
- Correct.
- So where do you eat?
- It's gotten to where I just go to the store or to Love's
and go to Carl's Jr. or whatever and get something to eat.
And that's about it.
- You happy with it that way?
- Oh, no.
- And where do you sleep?
- Right there.
- Where? On this couch here?
- Right there on that couch.
- Okay.
This is a kind of unique situation.
It's not garbage that he's saving up,
but rather it's car parts.
And he has basically turned his home
into an auto repair shop.
I'm just kind of curious as I look around,
can you tell me what happened here?
- I had to move a lot of stuff from my shop here
and my wife moved to our other house in Tyler.
- So DeeDee moved out?
- Well, she has to move to our other house
because she had a job in Rusk.
- Is it stopping her from moving back in?
- Yes.
(suspenseful music)
Her version of getting things cleaned up
was getting rid of everything.
- That's what she wants?
- That's what she told me.
- She wants it all gone.
- Gone and it's all junk. - Yeah.
- And of course that made me feel about that tall to her.
- You didn't like that?
- No, it was, I took it personally
because everything I have is junk
and she wanted to get rid of it.
To me, that was like telling me that you don't matter.
- It's like saying you're junk.
- Kind of, yeah, in a way.
And I got depressed and I said,
well, if that's all I mean to her,
then I don't matter to her anyway.
- So this really caused a split between you and DeeDee.
- Yeah, this was a big dividing spot.
- It sounds like. - Absolutely, yeah.
- It seems in many ways that Tim
is trying to compensate for feeling rejected.
When he feels rejected by other people,
he deals with that by acquiring things and hoarding.
But of course the more he hoards,
the more he pushes people away.
So it becomes a vicious cycle.
And Tim strikes me as very stuck in that cycle.
If we don't change the things that are in this house,
what's gonna happen to you and DeeDee?
- It would stay the same or get worse.
- Stay the same, or get worse?
What would worse involve, split?
- Absolutely.
- I want you to kind of remember that.
And the reason that I want you to remember this conversation
is that as we go through this process,
there's gonna be a point at which you want to push back.
You're gonna say, no, no, no, I gotta keep all this stuff.
And when that moment comes,
I want you to remember this conversation
that we're having right now.
I want you to remember what's really important.
It's not necessarily all the stuff.
- No. - It's the marriage.
It's your quality of life.
- Sure. - And that's what's at stake.
And that's the stuff that we're really shooting for here.
- Great.
- And with that, you know,
I wonder 'cause I know that DeeDee is outside
along with Dorothy, our organizer.
And I wonder if maybe we should go out
and have you meet Dorothy
and I can meet DeeDee
and we can talk this through a little bit more.
Would that be all right?
- That'd be fine. - All right.
Why don't you lead the way? - All right.
(bluesy guitar music)
- [Dr. Tolin] All right, hello.
- [Dorothy] Dr. T.
- Dorothy, the organizer. How you doing?
- I'm so good.
I'm Dorothy Breininger.
I'm a professional organizing expert
and I specialize in hoarding.
- So Dorothy, I have someone I'd like you to meet.
This is Tim.
This is Dorothy.
- I'm coming over.
Get- Hi.
So good to meet you. - [Tim] Good to meet you.
- So good to meet you.
I don't know if you've met, but this is DeeDee.
- Hi DeeDee, Dave Tolin. How are you?
- Dr. Tolin.
- It's nice to meet you. - You too.
Hi, Tim.
(tense bluesy music)
- So Dorothy, I know you've had a chance
to look at the house and the property
and I've had a chance to look around as well
and talk to Tim.
- This is a logistical nightmare
because I've got so many different people coming in.
I need to have a forklift.
I need to have scrap metal guys come in.
I've got someone coming in who needs to do towing.
(dramatic music)
But that's not it.
I've got a master tow truck coming in
to move that semi-trailer.
And inside the house,
is all full of cylinders, pistons, motors, engines.
This house is not a house, it's a garage.
- He and I both never had this house like this.
And I don't know what happened,
but it got progressively worse and I can't live this way.
He just kept accumulating more and more.
And I said, I don't even have a place to sit down,
cook, anything.
And I said,
so either you have to get rid of all this or me.
The more I was gone, the more he collected.
And you know, we'll get to the underlying reasons for that,
which I might be partially to blame.
- DeeDee, you said something very interesting.
You said you might be partially to blame.
Could you say a little bit more about that?
What makes you think that?
- I did not come around very often to check on him.
- Why do you suppose that is?
- I think I was put out by him.
- Put out?
- That he cared more about accumulating things
than being with me.
- So the more the stuff accumulates,
the more the two of you are split apart
and the more the two of you are split apart,
the more stuff accumulates.
Have the two of you ever talked about splitting up?
- Yeah.
- Tell me about that.
- I feel bad, but I told Tim,
you just need to make your mind up
if you want to keep all this or keep me.
- With regard to kind of the tension between the two of you,
what came first, the hoarding or the conflict?
- How far back?
- As far back as it goes.
I mean, at what point did you two start butting heads?
- Oh, I don't know.
What do you think?
A while back.
- You know, I get a sense
that there's a real rift in this relationship
and it may not just be all about the hoarding,
but ultimately, of course,
the hoarding is the big barrier to making this marriage heal.
So Dorothy is our stuff master.
She knows all about stuff and what to do with it
and where to put it and how to organize it.
- Yay, let me at it! (laughs)
- I really want to hear what you have in mind, Dorothy.
- Thank you, thank you. Well, you know,
I can see you're solving a crisis on the one hand,
which is, you know, saving the marriage.
And then on my side it's like, we've got a crisis too.
We've got a fire marshal who says,
"Whoa, this property, it's not working."
You know, you're gonna get cited,
you know, it's not good.
So I need to solve that.
Then we wanna work on the inside
because if you want to come back.
- Yeah. - What do we do?
Bottom line, I'm making a house for a couple here.
- Yeah. - Not for a single man.
- [DeeDee] Right.
- And I guess one question that I have is, you know, I mean,
we're gonna be obviously going to work
and Dorothy's got her plan and I'm kind of wondering,
can we heal this marriage?
(dramatic music)
(light country music)
- [DeeDee] Hi, Dr. Tolin. - Nice to see you again.
- [DeeDee] Nice to see you.
- And who did you bring with you today?
- I brought Donna and Debby. - Hi Donna, how are you?
Dr. Tolin. - [DeeDee] My sisters.
- Good, nice to meet you. - Hello, hi.
- And Debby, is that right?
- Yes. - Very nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you also.
- So, Debby and Donna,
how long has it been since you've been on this property?
- It's been about eight years for me.
- And have you been in the house at any point?
- No, I haven't been in the house, no.
- So what I have in mind is that we'll go in and take a look
because I'd be interested
in getting your impressions of this
and we can start to talk about what we're gonna do, okay?
- Okay, that sounds good. - Okay, great.
Let's go inside. - All right.
(Debby gasps)
(somber music)
- Oh my god! (sobs)
- DeeDee.
It's much worse than
what you ever, ever, ever, ever indicated.
- [DeeDee] Debby, I'm sorry. - DeeDee!
- I didn't want y'all to get this upset.
We're getting help.
Now you see why I needed help?
- You should have gotten help from us a long time ago.
DeeDee, you shouldn't have gone through this by yourself.
Why did you think we weren't here for you? Why?
- If he was-
- [Debby] We've always been here for you, always!
- I know you have and you're here now.
And that's what I appreciate.
- We could have helped you years ago.
Years ago, DeeDee!
You have tolerated this for years.
You've put up with him by yourself
and we were here for you.
We were here for you, DeeDee.
And you never let us help you.
I can't imagine that someone would do this to a house.
- I know, that's why I was so mad.
- [Debby] And to someone that they love.
He claims to love her. - I know.
- You don't do this to someone you love.
- I just can't imagine that he can look at this
and not understand why she won't come back.
I totally get why you are not here.
- You could have had help from us years ago.
- So DeeDee, you didn't call on your family to help?
- No. - Why is that?
- Well, I was embarrassed.
- Embarrassed. - Yeah.
- Yeah, that happens a lot. - Yeah.
- I mean it, and unfortunately, one of the things that happens
is as this pile keeps growing,
you get more and more embarrassed about it
and then you start shutting people out.
- I have a very close family,
but I didn't want to make them have to worry about it.
I didn't want to worry them with this.
- Would it have been a bother if DeeDee had called?
- [Debby] No, no, no. - [Donna] We've offered.
- We've tried. - [Donna] We've said.
- They're very willing to help,
but Tim wouldn't let me do anything,
so he's sure not going to listen to them.
- You know, Debby and Donna,
what are your thoughts about Tim?
- There's no, anger, you can't put a limit to it.
There's no limit to it.
- [Dr. Tolin] Very angry. - Yes.
- Would you like to take a look
at a little bit more of the house?
Would you like to see the bedroom?
- [DeeDee] Oh my god, I haven't been in the bedroom.
(suspenseful music)
- [Debby] Oh my God, what was he thinking?
What in tarnation is this?
- [Debby] Oh my God.
- [DeeDee] What did he do here?
- [Dr. Tolin] How you feeling, DeeDee?
- Angry. I've seen enough.
- All right, let's go.
- Guys, tell you what,
why don't we go outside 'cause Tim is outside
and let's go meet him and talk to him, okay?
(suspenseful music)
Hey Tim, how you doing? - Hey, what's up, Doc?
- Good to see you. - Good to see you.
- So DeeDee and Donna and Debby
have had a chance to look inside the house
and, any reactions that you want to share?
- Tim, I know you know, we're upset.
- Sure.
- We've always been here for you,
but neither one of y'all let us come and help.
I don't know if you were recognizing
that this was a problem, but we're really,
we've watched DeeDee for years try to change this
because DeeDee loves you
and she wants this marriage and we support that.
But I need you to understand,
we're really upset right now and we're here for you.
But this is beyond anything that DeeDee needs to be around,
or you for that matter.
- Okay.
- Thank you Donna.
Debby, you look like you're having a little reaction.
What's up?
- I can't believe you did this, first of all,
but we're here now and we just have to fix this
and find a way that this never happens again,
so that you can enjoy your life.
I know you don't enjoy this.
- No, I don't.
- [Debby] I know you don't enjoy it.
- No I don't, yeah.
- So, Tim, are you willing to accept that help today?
- Sure. - Yeah?
- I'm sorry for upsetting y'all there.
It's been upsetting to me, kind of for a number of reasons.
- [DeeDee] Yeah.
- It's not all your fault, you know?
- [Debby] Wait, what?
- I said, it's not all your fault.
- All her fault? - [Tim] I said it's not.
- I know, but I don't- - How much of it is my fault?
- What? - I mean the junk.
- Not that, I mean. - Oh, okay.
Well, just the marriage, but that's-
- No, no, no. I'm just talking about,
I said she probably thinks that it's, you know,
that I'm blaming her for it and it's not, I'm not.
- [Debby] Oh, yeah.
I don't see any blame with DeeDee at all here, at all.
- I just think that
I'm ready to help and move forward.
I need you to understand, Tim, I love you.
You are part of our family.
I've always loved you.
We would love to clean this up, move forward,
give you the happiness that I know y'all could have.
- Yes.
- All this needs to go and we're here to do that.
But I don't want you to ever think that we didn't love you
and that you weren't part of the family because you are.
And you used to come out
and you'd go fishing at the lake and you love to fish.
It was so fun to see you out there.
And then you stopped, you just kind of disappeared.
And I guess got evolved into this.
And so we want you to be there.
I want you to come out to the lake and fish again.
I want you to come to the holidays
and I want you to meet the family
you have not met in all these years.
(light country music)
- [Dr. Tolin] Tim, why'd you disappear?
- I felt kind of isolated, kind of withdrawn.
- So the more you would hoard,
the more you would kind of isolate yourself.
And of course, the more isolated you became,
the more withdrawn you felt and the more you would hoard.
- Well, I don't know if it's hoarding.
- Oh God. (laughs) - [Tim] What?
- [Dr. Tolin] Debby, I think you have
a reaction to what Tim just said.
- It doesn't seem like hoarding to me.
- That doesn't seem like hoarding?
- I mean, inside's terrible, it's awful.
- Well, and this too, I mean, this also.
- It's hard for me to throw away good stuff.
- So if you don't recognize what hoarding is,
then as soon as we clean this up,
you could start doing all this again
because you don't recognize that.
- No, I don't want all of this anymore.
I want to get where I have it,
everything in place where it belongs.
- This is a hoarding situation outside as much as inside.
And I'm with Debby.
Tim, it's gotta change.
- I mean, I'm here.
- We gotta get rid of just about all of it.
You know, kind of keep a few things you want to fix up.
- I don't want a lot of,
I mean, I don't need everything here.
- Good, so let's get started cleaning up.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat country music)
- [Dorothy] Hello, everybody.
- [Group] Hello.
- Thank you all for being here.
We have Tim, we're here to help you.
DeeDee, your wife.
DeeDee, we have your two sisters.
We've got Debby and Donna.
We have our standup guys and we have our boss organizers.
This is a very big crew
and we have a couple of things going on.
Couple of crises, which is why we're here.
And one of them, Dr. Tolin, is marriage, right?
- Absolutely, absolutely.
And what we want to do is not just clean out a house,
but also make space so the two of you
can reconcile and heal together. - [Dorothy] That's right.
- [Dr. Tolin] That's part of my aim for the two of you.
- So, while Dr. Tolin is working on that,
what we're doing, all 20 of us,
we're going to be working on the property on the outside
so we can meet the criteria for the fire marshal.
We have to get this place looking good.
And we also wanna get inside the house
and turn it from a mechanic's garage into a home.
This is the backyard.
All right, this is the tree line.
You all know what I'm talking about.
There was all sorts of trash here.
We're gonna get all of this picked up.
We are gonna move the semi trailer.
If there are any cars that we're keeping,
they're gonna go back here along the tree line.
Then they're going to have another set of cars
that if you're considering selling them,
we'll have someone come in to sell.
In the meantime,
we have about 190 tires around the property.
So we're gonna line them up here.
Tim, we're gonna let you review them really quickly.
We want to get you some money if we can.
Stand up guys, you know, you're gonna be moving your truck
around in circles, picking up metal and trash, right?
Thank you for that.
Step on over there.
I wanna say one thing, it's super hot.
It was 108 a couple of days ago.
Today it's a little bit better.
But really keep yourselves safe.
Dr. Tolin?
- Thank you, Dorothy. - You're welcome.
- I've had a chance to meet with Tim
and with DeeDee, and Donna, and Debby.
I just want to see, is everybody ready to go?
- Yes. - Yeah.
- Who's got questions? Who's got concerns?
- I thought we could get rid of most of the vehicles.
How many are you planning on keeping?
Maybe three or four? - Yeah.
- You can? - Yeah.
- Okay.
- Donna and Debby, any questions or concerns that you have?
- No, thank you, I'm good. - No, I'm ready to go.
- [Dr. Tolin] Okay.
- So everybody, I want you to just take off to the areas
that I've asked you to work on.
Let's do this thing! Okay?
- [Group] Yes! - Yes! Woo!
(suspenseful music)
(trucks revving)
We've gotta talk about cars.
We've got three categories.
We've got cars we're going to keep along the property line.
- Yes.
- Then we have another category of cars that you wanna sell.
We have someone coming here ready to offer you cash
and tow them away. - [Tim] Great.
- And then the third one is for the burned out cars
and the ones that have Xs on them, that's scrap.
- Yes. - So I need to know what's what.
(upbeat country music)
So the Red Ford Ranger is no longer a keep.
- Well, I'm gonna be selling it.
- It's a sell now.
Trans Am is a sell. - Yep.
- The Camry.
- Gone.
- Boat I know is going, the white Chevy Z.
- That's mine, I'm keeping that.
- Why do you need to?
You gonna sell that? 'Cause you've got the other one.
- Because it's got a $5,000 engine under the hood.
- Okay, but you just bought that other one.
- I know that. - Okay.
- [Dorothy] What about the GMC Spirit?
- That's my keeper.
- [Dorothy] That's number three for keeping.
- [Tim] That's it.
- [Dorothy] The green Ford. - [Tim] That's outta here.
That's a seller. - Very good.
White Ford pickup.
- [Tim] Yeah, that's mine right there.
- So that's car number four? - Yeah, that's it, yeah.
- [Dorothy] Red Corvette. - [Tim] Corvette's a keeper.
- We've got five cars.
- Okay, that's good, that's doable.
- Does that work for you, DeeDee?
- [DeeDee] Yeah. - Okay.
Think Tim's doing a good job?
- Yeah, you are. - Let's let him hear it.
- Good job. - All right, nice job, Tim.
- That is good. - All right.
Look at the smile on that face! (group cheering)
Good job, very good!
- It's hard to let go of stuff,
but I appreciate the fact that you're willing to do it.
- You're doing it. - Yeah.
- I know, I'm very pleased.
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
- Let me just point out, this is a lot of tires, right?
I mean, it snakes all the way around here.
Dorothy, how many tires are we looking at?
- This right here, about 220 tires for Tim to review.
- Tim, I wonder whether
you might be willing to take a bold step.
- What's that?
- Could you let all these go?
- Some of 'em belong on vehicles, I mean.
- But what if you just got rid of 'em?
I mean, what would happen?
- It's just tires.
- [Dr, Tolin] It's just tires, right.
- But then the ones, the cars that I'm gonna keep,
I don't have tires for anymore.
Like there's new ones right there for the truck.
- Okay.
- Well, how many do you want to plan on keeping of 220?
- Not 220. - Okay.
- I didn't know there were that many, but.
- Okay, good, so let's get rid of 'em.
- That's one of the things
that we've had a contentious spot about, right?
- Yeah.
- You don't just throw everything out.
- (laughs) I do.
- It actually has a dollar value.
- Dorothy, can we convert these to cash?
- Yes, I do have a tire person.
They're going to pay you $3 for every so many tires,
you know, so yeah, you're gonna make some money.
The more you give away, the more money you get.
- I think that when we're thinking about
keeping versus discarding,
it would make sense to keep only those things
that you know you have an immediate use for.
But otherwise, maybe we just need to let go of it.
- I don't have a problem with that.
But that your suggestion is,
yeah, that's what I concur with.
- Okay, why don't we try that? - Sure.
- Let's see how many you can get rid of.
- Great. - Okay.
- Space yourselves out because you're gonna push or pull
the tire one way or the other as Tim makes decisions, okay?
- [Tim] I have to look at these. It's gonna take a-
- [Dr. Tolin] You can look. - [Tim] couple minutes.
That's gone.
That one's gone.
That's keep this one and the one like it.
There's two of these.
They're gonna go on a trailer.
- [Dorothy] Don't tell us, just say I'm keeping it or not.
- Yeah, keep. - Just keep or go.
Keep or go, come on.
- Come on, we've got things to do.
Let's get this done. - That is not mine.
I don't know that one, don't need that one.
That's a go, I don't need it.
- Hey, Doc, I'm hearing a lot of huffy breath over here.
Heavy breathing.
- We've got more things to do than this.
- [Tim] That's a goner.
- This is taking way too much time.
- Goner, that's a goner, that's a goner.
That's a goner, that's a goner, that's a goner.
- Well, okay, he's almost done.
And then let's get busy doing something else.
- [Dr. Tolin] Okay, we will.
- This is getting out of hand.
- That's a goner. That's a goner, that's a goner.
That's a goner and that is a keep.
- Okay, everybody,
Tim just completed 220 tires in 15 minutes!
(group cheering) All right?
That's good stuff.
Good job, Tim, good job.
- Let's get busy doing something else.
- Good job. - Productive.
- This is part of it, isn't it? - Oh, yeah, but you know.
- Remember this is kind of a process.
It's gonna take a little while.
Right now we just want to make sure
that we understand Tim's process.
We know how he makes his decisions.
We want to make sure he knows
that he's in control of the situation
and that people aren't gonna start
throwing stuff away behind his back.
And as long as you know,
so that's whwhereat we're gonna start.
- [DeeDee] Okay.
- [Dr. Tolin] And then we're gonna pick up steam as we go.
- [Tim] Woo.
- I was very surprised
that he got rid of as many tires as he did
and just kept a small amount of cars,
which I never thought there were that many ever.
I just don't know how it's all gonna get done.
(slow bluesy music)
- Welcome back. - Yay!
- We're all here, we're all here.
Well, except for Debby.
She's gonna be joining us later, correct?
- Yeah, right.
- We had an exceptional day yesterday.
Tim, you made so many decisions, right?
- Yes, ma'am.
- You got rid of 140 tires out of 220, brilliant.
You looked at 46 cars again and made a decision
and pared it down to seven, including the two in the front.
- Oh seven, yeah, you're right.
- Five out back, two in the front.
We also went through
and collected so much of the scrap metal.
We got rid of five tons worth of scrap metal and trash.
- Five tons?
- I mean, what does that say to you ladies?
- Amazing, good job. - Yeah, that is a lot.
- So Tim, I think you did a great job,
and Dorothy and I do this a lot
and we rarely see that much stuff go on the first day.
So we're really impressed.
And I just want to let you know that I know it's not easy
because if letting things go was easy for you,
we wouldn't be here in the first place.
- Right.
- Tim, how are you feeling about the progress?
- It's kind of fun in a way really.
I mean, I'm enjoying it 'cause it's like, fun.
I can see that, hey, I have a yard.
I can put a yard back in here.
- Good, I hope you'll continue with that good feeling today.
- Sure, sure. - [Dr. Tolin] 'Cause I think
there's more good feelings to come.
- Sure. - All right, Dorothy?
- Yeah, back in my corner.
Like what's the plan, right? (laughs)
- Absolutely. - Right.
- Don't worry, I've got one.
Where we're going to start is out here.
I need for you to look at all these piles
and tell us is it scrap, keep, or trash?
We need to basically have this outside area done.
So are we all in agreement? - [DeeDee] Yeah.
- Shortcuts need to be made, decisions need to be made.
We need to move fast, okay?
- [Dr. Tolin] Got it. - Okay, let's go.
I'm ready. - All right.
- Let's do this.
- Let's have you start over here.
Going left to right.
So come over here. - [Tim] All right.
- So we can be closest to the truck.
- Should be easy.
- [DeeDee] Realize how much time that takes
to sort through all this?
Can you just-
- Would you please let me handle it, dear?
hank you.
I mean, you've said it like 10 times in the last,
that's that repetitive thing doesn't make me go any faster.
- Okay, this takes-
- Gotta be more clear minded. It makes me get, (growls)
- This takes a lot of time to sort through all this.
- I'm not sorting.
I know what I need to keep and what needs to go.
Just gimme a break please.
- [DeeDee] Okay. - Please, thank you.
- So what's the process that's happening right here?
- I want him to eliminate as much as possible
because this takes way too much time
to go through every nitpicking thing.
- Right. - And, okay.
- [Dr. Tolin] But you see the process, right, DeeDee?
- I might surprise you.
- You push, he gets defensive, right?
So that's the process that we're gonna keep bumping into.
We want to just be as encouraging as possible
without putting undue pressure on him
because that's just gonna make him dig in
and get more defensive.
Does that make sense?
- Yeah, it does. - Okay.
- Thank you. - Okay, here we go.
- That goes, those go.
This can go, that can go, that can go.
- [Dr. Tolin] Great, Tim.
- That can go, that can go, that can go.
(suspenseful music)
All this right here can go, this ladder can go.
That can go.
Keep. (laughs) That's a go.
- So DeeDee. - Yes?
- Tim, Donna, just so you know, Dr. Tolin,
you made about 300 decisions in six minutes.
- Mm hm. - That's awesome.
- Yeah. - You didn't do it alone.
We kind of made some assumptions
and you agreed with our assumptions.
- [Tim] Yeah, absolutely.
- That's one of the shortcuts you talked about.
Dr. Tolin, what do you wanna say here?
- I want to talk about the marriage
and I want to talk a little bit about how this process
is actually good for the marriage.
Because it seems like what you guys get into,
but tell me if I'm wrong,
is that DeeDee pushes and Tim gets defensive
and then DeeDee pushes harder and Tim gets more defensive
and the next thing you know, ugh,
you're feeling terrible and lousy about each other, right?
- Yep.
- So I want to get you into the habit
of having a relationship
that's based on positive reinforcement,
recognizing when he's doing a good job and telling him.
Can you tell him he did a great job?
- You did, I'm proud of you. This is amazing!
- [Dr. Tolin] Good.
- Let's just keep it up, so let's get busy.
- This stuff right here is all keep, that's full scrap.
No, I don't need this.
This is all keep right here.
(dramatic music)
- [DeeDee] Tim, you don't need any of this.
- Just let me handle it, I know what I'm doing.
- [DeeDee] This all needs to go.
- I just, I hadn't even been over here yet.
That's a keep.
And this is a keep.
- That? Where is this gonna go?
- This is mine.
- But where are you gonna put it?
It's not gonna be stuck in the backyard.
- [Tim] No! - Where are you putting it?
- I'll put it somewhere where I can put my own man stuff
that I like to ride in, okay?
- Okay, this does not-
- You wanna take my mini bike too?
- Yeah. - My birthday?
- You can buy you another present or whatever.
- This is mine, personal!
- But okay, where are they gonna move it?
Remember, they said everything-
- No, it doesn't.
- [DeeDee] Remember they said- - That's all goner, all that.
- everything that is still here is going, Tim.
- This is goner.
Let's see if I can make you a little bit happier.
I'm trying like hell.
I'll tell you what, girl.
- These have to go or else, remember?
They said everything that's still here
is going to need to be gone.
So please get rid of it.
This needs to go.
- You just want these gone for some reason.
What is the deal? Why are you-
- Because they're stuck in the yard here.
- They're not gonna be stuck in the yard.
- Okay. - What's going on?
- He needs to get rid of these.
- Remember, don't push.
Do not push even though you want to, right?
- Just for a second,
tell me what's going on between the two of you.
- Well, he just likes to collect things.
- Yeah.
- That have sat out here for, if it,
someone wants to buy it or whatever.
They haven't come for it.
- [Tim] A lot of people wanted to.
- They haven't come for it yet, and you-
- Because I didn't put the motor on it yet
because I got bogged down with other stuff.
See, I got overwhelmed.
- Okay, so now you'll be able to have a clear mind.
- [Tim] Yes, I already have a clear mind.
- Because I understand you were overwhelmed with all this.
And now you're-
- No, I let it overwhelm me. I wouldn't be overwhelmed by it.
- All this you've accumulated.
- Yeah, I had too much stuff.
Yeah, that overwhelmed me.
But I'm not like scatterbrained and mentally, you know?
- I know. - Out of it.
- I know, you're very smart.
But I'm just saying, all you're saying all this is here,
because you had too many distractions and now-
- Absolutely. - When we get rid of all this,
you won't have all the distractions.
You'll be able to focus on-
- I'm able to focus right now. - (laughs) Okay.
- [Dr. Tolin] Tim, how you feeling right now?
- Okay. - I'm gonna get rid of that
that I spent my money on to build for somebody
and never got to finish it.
- Can I put in Tim? Excuse me, here, I have an issue.
- Yes, ma'am.
- All I'm hearing about is all the money you've spent,
have you acknowledged what DeeDee's done to give you this,
to give you this home to support all of this?
- To give me this home?
- Yeah. - Really?
- Have you acknowledged what DeeDee's done?
She has worked herself many, many jobs.
Well, it's not about just what you've done,
what you've paid for.
She's helped pay for this.
- I understand that.
- She thinks it's more important for y'all to be together
than for you to have all this garbage out here.
- I know I was just making a statement
that I spent money on this particular thing to build it
and all I had to do is put a motorin it.
- How long ago did you do that, Tim?
- About seven months ago.
- Okay, well, here it is. Seven months later.
How many of these cars are you really gonna fix?
The tractor, the tractor that you say you drive.
I don't get it.
I don't see it at all.
It's more important for you and DeeDee,
let's get moving here.
I don't think he understood my point was
why pay for all these things
when you could first contribute to the household,
get the life better, get the marriage better.
And that's what I think never really soaked in.
- I guess I just want to kind of point out
that this is one of those situations where, Tim,
it feels like you're getting a little defensive
and I understand it,
and I understand the regret that comes from spending money
and then letting something go.
I think that that kind of regret is gonna come up a lot
during this process because you have spent money
and you're gonna have to let stuff go.
(dramatic music)
- I guess I haven't, I never even thought about it, really.
- I told Tim, you just need to make your mind up
if you want to keep all this or keep me.
- You should have gotten help from us a long time ago!
DeeDee, why did you think we weren't here for you?
Why?
- These have to go or else, remember?
They said everything that's still here
is going to need to be gone.
So please get rid of it.
- What is the deal? Why are you-
- Because they're gonna be stuck in the yard!
- They're not gonna be stuck in the yard.
- Please get rid of 'em!
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
Tim? - Yeah.
- [DeeDee] You're not keeping this, are you?
- [Tim] Yes, I'm using it. - [DeeDee] For what?
- [Tim] For a hanging rack.
- [DeeDee] Remember, everything that's left here
is gonna be just stuck in the yard.
- [Tim] No, it's not gonna be stuck in the yard!
I know what I'm doing.
- [Dr. Tolin] Hey Tim, I heard some yelling.
What's up?
- She is, this is one of the big problems
that we've had for years, and years, and years.
Not just a couple months or a couple.
She is past stubborn when it comes,
when she goes like this and it doesn't matter what I say.
It doesn't matter what anybody says,
and I was warned about it when I married her, okay?
By her own family.
DeeDee is past stubborn.
So when she says something,
like she'll just keep harping on it
and keep saying it over and it just drives me up the wall.
- Well, that's calling the kettle black.
- [Dr. Tolin] What is it she's harping on right now?
- I answered her three times for what that was for.
- Okay.
- It doesn't matter what it's for 'cause she says it's junk.
That's what it is.
You know, and that pisses me off.
- Okay.
- And that's the problem we've had
from the day we said I do.
- So you don't like being told it's junk?
- It's not, that's, I'm gonna use that.
- Okay. - Yeah, I am.
- And I told her that like three times and she-
- [Dr. Tolin] What is that, a bed frame?
- It's a motorized front.
It's been sitting back here for who knows how long and-
- [Tim] I just got it a few months ago.
- So let me just remind you, Tim.
- Ugh!
- So remember the very first time we met?
- Yes. - When I came into the house.
- Gosh.
- And I said I want you to remember this conversation
and you remember what it was that I wanted you to remember?
- Yes, I do.
- [Dr. Tolin] That the marriage is more important, right?
- [Tim] Sure, it is.
- What's at stake is the marriage splitting up
that I want you,
I'm not saying what you should do
with that particular item or not,
but I always want you to put the marriage first.
Recognize that you've got to put your life back together
and it's not just about hanging onto the stuff.
- If it helps her out, once again,
I'll kowtow down and I'll get rid of it.
- It's not a kowtow and I really-
- It feels that way. - I know, I know.
I really want you to feel like this is your decision
that you're making the decision based
on what's best for your life.
- Well, it's my life
but it also has to include her too.
- Well, that's part of your life.
- Yeah. - That's part of your life.
Your marriage is part of your life.
- But hers is the same way, right?
It's supposed to be 100/100, not 50/50, right?
- That's right, it's 100/100.
But again, as you go through,
I just want you to think of the marriage.
Think of what's really important to you.
Remember that the marriage is more important
than anything on this property, right?
- Sure.
- That if your marriage splits up,
where does that leave you?
Not in a good place.
So I want you to just be thinking about that
as you go through, right? - Okay.
- Recognizing that you gotta prioritize
what's really important and it's not the stuff.
Not surprisingly,
there were some times that Tim wanted to hang on
to more stuff than he really needed.
That's characteristic of hoarding disorder.
So I just encouraged him gently to dig a little deeper,
to try a little harder
and see if there was more that he could get rid of.
And there was.
- Well, heck, let's get rid of the whole pile there.
How 'bout that? - If you feel up to it, sure.
- I do. - All right. Way to go, Tim.
- Great.
(intense music) (trucks revving)
(metal clanging)
(tense piano music)
- [Dr. Tolin] Good afternoon, Debby.
Good to have you here. - Yes, thank you.
- I'm glad you could join us. So, tell me what's going on.
- We were a little surprised by what we saw with the house.
- Yes.
- Since DeeDee told us it was a mess
and she couldn't live there.
- I didn't think I downplayed how bad it looked
for them to almost pass out when they went in there.
- DeeDee, I'm not upset with you.
Stop being like this. I'm not, I'm on your side.
- I know. - Remember that.
But when you have all night to reflect on what you saw
and what happened, I'm worse today than I was yesterday.
- Worse how?
- I've got such anger and I don't like having this anger.
- Who are you angry at?
- [Debby] I'm mad at Tim. - Yeah.
- That he let this go
and he didn't let his wife live in her house.
- Yeah, it is maddening, isn't it?
- It's maddening, yes, it is.
- It's very hard to see a loved one
or the spouse of a loved one deteriorate in this way.
- Yes, it is.
- And at the same time,
I think it's important to recognize that he's not well.
- I don't understand that illness where it is so bad
that you don't want your wife to be with you
or you can't quit bringing stuff in.
Is there a point where you say, I've brought enough in?
- It's a little bit like an addiction in some ways, right?
That you start prizing the drug over the people around you.
And that's kind of what happens in hoarding,
is that the person starts putting the stuff
above their wife, above their marriage, above everybody.
- Then how does he get well?
- He's doing it. I mean, I think that's the piece
that we all need to recognize is that he's doing it.
He's recognizing that he can let go of things.
And of course I'm gonna set him up
with some therapy after this as well
to make sure that he keeps this momentum going.
- I tried to tell DeeDee
that instead of building up your anger,
like she's been able to deal with it for years.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
- This was hit on me and Donna yesterday.
- [Dr. Tolin] This was just dumped on you, sure.
- And so it's like a tornado or a volcano.
- You know, and it's really normal
to have that angry reaction.
I totally get it.
We also kind of need to recognize
that the person hoarding is not in a good state of mind
and that his judgment has been affected by this disorder
and that he needs our help
to get his judgment back in order and I think he will.
- Okay, thank you, thank you.
- [Dr. Tolin] Okay. - I appreciate that advice.
It's very good to be able to talk
about the hoarding situation and what was going on,
but I think that it's gonna take me
some time to really get over this.
- That's a keep.
- [Worker] Keep? - Yes.
(dramatic music)
(slow bluesy music)
- All right, hold that open. I'm gonna get all this.
I hope a snake doesn't bite me.
- Family members, thanks so much for stopping your work.
We have the junkies here, they are auto recycling company.
We've got Wes, Anne Marie, Brandon, who are here.
Welcome, thank you for being here.
- Thank you for having us. - All right.
And we have a list of all the cars
that are for sale over here, right?
They're in red with dollar signs next to it.
So our first one that we want to look at
or consider is this Trans Am.
- With it, the condition I'd probably be doing around $250.
- [Tim] That'll work. - All right, very good.
- Thank you. - And that, Tim?
Works for you? - Absolutely.
- Good, good.
The next one up is this red Corvette over here.
- Ah, ah! - Joking.
- I was gonna go with it.
- (laughs) Do you wanna sell it at this point?
- Not right now, no.
- All right, so the next closest one we've got the Dodge RV.
Come on in, Wes, Anne Marie, Brandon, check it out.
- Something like this, just being,
because there's a whole lot of trash,
the RV and the business I'm in,
I'd probably only do around 200 bucks on it.
- That'd be fine.
- Thank you, so we're going up here next.
- I'd do 250 apiece on these.
- All right, that's fine.
- How much is it? - I'd do 250 on it.
- It's got- - I'd do 250 on that.
- Sounds good. - All right.
- We have items that you are going to sell
that weren't even on the sell list.
- Surprise, surprise!
(group cheering)
- And this one says the transmission's not in it.
- It's right there in the back. - It's in the back?
- Yeah. - Okay. I'd do like, 225.
- I'm gonna hang onto that one.
- Hang on? - Yeah, for now.
- 250 on that. - I can do that.
- I'd do 200 on that. - Right.
- [Dorothy] White Maxima.
- On this one, I'll probably do 200 on it.
- That sounds like a good deal.
- [Dorothy] Dr. Tolin, how we doing?
- Tim, I'm really impressed.
You're digging deep and you're letting go of a lot of stuff.
I think that's terrific, so good job.
Keep it up.
(upbeat country music)
- I know this one's probably worth more value
to probably someone that's into classics on these.
- You're right.
- I'd probably only do around 200 bucks.
- No, I can't do that. Not for that one.
- Well, you got rid of one other one.
- Right.
- Then this would count as one of your seven.
- Yeah.
- Okay. We've got 14 cars. What does that all add up to?
- It's gonna be 2,825.
- Okay. 14 vehicles, 2,825.
Wes, Brandon, Anne Marie, this has been fantastic.
- Yes, ma'am. - And thank you for agreeing
to take 'em all away while we're here.
- Yes, ma'am. Thank y'all. (group cheering)
- She'll probably wanna hug you or something.
- [DeeDee] Thank you, yes, appreciate it!
- Tim and DeeDee, how does that make you feel?
- I'm glad that Tim's able to part with so much.
I didn't think it would happen, but he's progressing.
- All right, yeah.
- And look how happy Tim is to hear you say that.
- Yeah, that's right. - Good.
- I'm glad to hear that. - Yeah, he needs that.
- I need that, yeah. - We all need that.
- Good job, Tim. - We all do.
- You get a round of applause. - Give me a round.
- One thing that happens in a lot of troubled marriages,
with or without hoarding, is that the two spouses
get into a negative, coercive cycle of influencing each other
and it never works and it just drives them apart.
If the couple can learn to positively reinforce each other,
that'll go a long way toward healing a troubled marriage.
- Well, I'm so proud of you there.
I am, I'm proud of you.
You're sweaty.
(bluesy country music)
- [Worker] One, two, three! (items clattering)
- Good morning, everybody. - [Group] Good morning.
- Did we get sleep last night?
- Yes. - A little bit by Tim, okay.
Everybody else was worn out, all right.
We had an extraordinary day yesterday
because you went through 46 cars
and I think you kept seven of them, right?
- Yes, ma'am.
- We had the tires removed before that.
Up to this point,
we've gotten rid of nine tons worth of stuff.
Today is the big test.
The third day is really hard.
I'm really concerned about today
because I overheard Donna, and Debby, and DeeDee talking
about how they plan to clear out the house.
And you know what they said?
Trash it all!
These car parts are just like his golden child or children.
I don't know what's going to happen here.
So, because it's going to be a difficult day,
I thought I'd toss it to you first
and then I'll go over the plan.
- Sounds good, sounds good. - Okay.
- Well, Tim, I'm really curious
to know how you're feeling today.
- I'm tired but I'm doing well.
- How are your spirits?
How are you feeling about this process?
- I'm glad that it's continued on.
I'm kinda apprehensive about today though.
- [Dorothy] What did you say, hun?
- I'm a little apprehensive about today.
- What are you feeling apprehensive about?
- (vocalizing) Into a bag, "Get that outta here."
"You don't need it." That.
- Who would be saying that to you?
- [DeeDee] Exactly. (laughs)
- That's right. - The ladies.
- That's why we have help here, Tim.
- Tell me what your concern is about that, Tim.
If they they said get rid of it.
- "I don't know what that is,
then it's not worth anything to me."
- So the concern is they may not know
what it's worth to you?
- Yes, or why it's important.
Because it's not important to me, then why is it important?
You need to get rid of it.
- But consider we- - You know.
I don't need to consider it.
I probably am standing here
for the reason that I considered all of this.
- Okay, that we have to pretty much get rid of all that
so we can have a clean house.
- You seem like you're a little upset
by hearing what DeeDee's saying.
Tell me about that.
(Tim sighs)
Talk to me.
- If someone's definition to me about caring
is also defined by how much I'm willing to give up.
- Yeah.
- And get rid of it, period, that means gone.
No question, just gone.
- It sounds to me, Tim, like your concerns this morning
are not just about the stuff,
but are also about the relationship.
- That's caused a lot of problems.
- Tell me your concern about the relationship.
What worries you here?
- See, I care about what she thinks.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
- Okay, then you'll care
that I mean more than your belongings.
- Yes! - Okay.
- I mean, you know what? - That's just material stuff.
- Yeah, exactly.
- Good, let's keep that in mind.
- Let's do keep that in mind.
- Okay. - Because that stuff,
there's a lot of stuff that you don't even know
what it's for or how to use it, or why it's important.
- So, all right. I definitely hear this part.
But Tim, tell me what's troubling you
about the relationship right now?
- That combative thing. (DeeDee laughs)
- You're concerned that it's combative.
- It is and I don't like it.
- [Dr. Tolin] We don't want it to be combative.
- No, not at all.
- [Dr. Tolin] Who's combating you?
DeeDee.
- I'll say she's part of the, yeah.
The attitude, I guess.
- Attitude? - Yes, sir.
- What's the attitude that bothers you?
(pensive piano music)
(bluesy country music)
- I think some things are appropriate to discuss it,
and even in a close group of family and some aren't.
- I understand.
- And that's my concern, is to protect her dignity.
- That's fine.
- For me to take a situation or this going on
and belittle her any way, 'cause she's my wife.
- Yeah.
- Whether we're best buddies or not and I won't do that.
- Yeah.
Tim is having a hard time.
He appears like he's on the verge of tears.
Something is clearly bothering him,
but he doesn't seem to want to tell me about it
in front of DeeDee and her sisters.
So maybe you and I can have a one-on-one conversation?
- Yeah, I think that'd be better.
- Yeah, I'd be happy to do that.
- Okay. - I'd be happy.
- It's all right. - [Tim] I know it is.
- You're gonna have all this help
that will help us start all over.
- Yeah, and Tim, I just want you to see that DeeDee
and Donna and Debby are here to help you.
- I appreciate that. - Yeah.
And I'll keep an eye on things.
I don't want this to be combative.
I don't want them to tell you to throw all your stuff out,
that this should be supportive
and I want you to feel that support.
I've asked Tim about how he's feeling,
but I have realized I haven't asked you, DeeDee,
and you Donna, and you Debby,
how are you feeling right now?
- Well, I feel a lot of concern
that we're not gonna get very far.
- So you're concerned?
- [Donna] Yeah. - Okay.
- You're the professionals,
and that I've got total confidence in y'all,
and y'all will reason this out.
So, you know, I know.
I feel like we have a lot to do and we need get started.
- Debby, how about you?
I know we've talked in the past
and there have been moments when you felt fired up.
How are you feeling now?
(DeeDee and Tim laugh)
- Tim, we do want to try and help you with this.
- [Tim] I appreciate that.
- But please understand my concern for DeeDee
is that she has a house
that is completely clean and livable.
- I agree with that. - That's my goal.
I'll feel better once I see some things cleaned up.
- Tim, I think you need to understand,
we're here 'cause we do respect you.
We respect this marriage.
We love y'all, but we know this can't continue.
- No, no.
- But we are here for you. - Thank you.
- But honestly, I wanna just get a bag
and just sweep it away.
And I'm not gonna lie, I don't like clutter.
I walk in there
and I think of my sister having to be around that.
And even you being around that, it's unhealthy.
- Yeah. - It's not safe.
And so, yeah.
I want to just clean it.
I'm really having to restrain myself.
- But it's understandable that you would feel that way.
- Yeah, it's true. - I get it, I get it.
We're not gonna do that but I understand the instinct.
I definitely understand the instinct.
Well, Dorothy, so tell us a little bit
about what your plan is today.
- I've made a schematic, literally,
so people know where they're going to be
and what they're going to be doing
and how we're going to get around
that feeling, Tim, of worry,
like it's all going to trash, because he does, in my mind,
need to take a look at everything that's there.
Now, can he look at 500,000 pieces of
things that are in there?
Car parts, home things, home goods.
No, but we are going to do some sorting.
So here's how it goes.
Tim, you're gonna be here making decisions.
If the item is bigger than the size of your head,
you present it to Tim and it's gonna go one, two, or there.
And then all the little things gonna go into two piles.
The first one is all car parts
and the second one is all non-car parts.
That's it.
Thank you for taking time here.
We're gonna get started finally.
Get your motors running, let's go.
- Okay, thank you. - Let's go.
(intense music)
- Trash, all of it.
- Take it all over there.
- [Tim] That's trash, that can go as well.
- [Worker] This stuff? - All of it.
- [Worker] All of it? All right. - De muerte.
(intense music)
I'm trying man, it's hard to get rid of
that spare caliper for a wheel. (sobs)
No.
- Oh, geez, I thought you were serious!
My gosh.
(dramatic music)
- I know from this morning.
I mean, it really seemed like something was troubling you
and you wanted to talk one on one.
- I just didn't want to put her on the spot for everybody.
- Understood, understood.
Can you tell me what's going on? What's on your mind?
- I've had 11 kisses on my cheek.
- Hmm.
- In seven years. - [Dr. Tolin] Wow.
- I haven't had a meal with her in three years.
- Yeah.
- Plus if I might do a little demonstration.
- Yeah, sure.
- Well, like that.
- [Dr. Tolin] Meaning what? - That's me down there.
- I see.
That's where you,
that's how you feel is that you're down on the ground.
- That's the way she treated me.
- She treated you like you're low.
- I just let her talk that way.
So she got used to being able to do it
and I mean, I'm not gonna say anything.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah. - Or do anything to her.
- You know, it's interesting because
we've been talking so much about you having to change
and I appreciate that maybe DeeDee's gotta change too.
- We were gonna go to a marriage counselor, doctor.
- Yeah.
- But it's always been her
joining up with them and shooting at me.
There's nothing ever her fault.
- [Dr. Tolin] Like you're the bad guy.
- No, no, that's exactly what she thinks.
There's no equivocation about that whatsoever.
- Wow.
- She does not have a fault.
I'm the one that's got all the problems
and her problems are caused by me.
- Hmm. - [Tim] And that's the truth.
- But really, she's checked out of this marriage
and she's not giving you the support and love-
- She cares about the dogs more than me.
- You think so?
- She used to come in the house or call me and say,
"Have you fed and watered the dogs?
Well, you need to 'cause they need eating."
- But no, "How are you doing?" - [Tim] Never.
- Nothing like that? - [Tim] Never.
- You know, if DeeDee's been checked out of the marriage
for so long and is kind of not showing you the love
and affection that you need, - Zero.
- what's the point of cleaning up the house
and making room for the marriage then, from your perspective?
(sentimental music)
- I don't know.
Sorry. - [Dr. Tolin] It's all right.
- I don't know.
- What do you need from DeeDee?
- Really? - [Dr. Tolin] Yeah.
- Put me out of my misery.
- Can you say more about that?
- Let me go.
Because she already has.
- Deep down, I think he wants
to have a relationship with DeeDee.
I just think he's so hopeless
that he doesn't think it's possible.
- Let's just do it, sign a piece of paper.
- Is that what you want?
(emotional music)
(Tim sighs)
We're gonna try to bring them back together
by creating a physical space for them.
But there's still gonna have to be a lot of work done here
if this marriage is gonna succeed.
(downtempo rock music)
- My whole goal would be
that we kind of dig through, pull it all out.
You can spend 20 minutes going through it,
pull out anything you want,
and then we just pick up the tarp and put it into the trash,
what's left over.
- What do you think, Tim?
- [Dorothy] You loved me up until right now, right?
- I still kind of love you. (Dorothy laughs)
Yeah, that's fine.
- Okay, let's put on your gloves.
- [DeeDee] Thank you.
- Organizers, come on over, I need you.
And we're gonna start just digging and thinning it out
so that Tim can go in and find what he wants.
Thin it on out.
Start looking right here.
Anything in this little section?
- [Tim] That dial indicator right there.
- [Dorothy] Right here. - Yes, ma'am, be nice to it.
- [Dorothy] All right, now
we're looking in this little section right here.
- That wheel. - [Dorothy] All right.
So be ready to just grab what he's asking.
- [Tim] Yes, that's definitely a keep.
- So I'm gonna say something that's really, really hard.
15 minutes to do all of this.
- [Tim] Oh my gosh. - [Dorothy] All right?
- That speaker right by your left hand, facing down.
No, that can go.
- Send that? - [Tim] Yes.
- [Dorothy] Tim, move forward.
Tim, keep coming, we're running out of time.
- [Tim] Oh, boy.
- Say, you're doing good, keep coming.
- Yeah, you're doing good.
- [Tim] There's about five turbochargers that go together.
That one, that one.
- [Worker] This? - [Dorothy] Can I see this?
- The top is right under your feet.
- Tim, I'm really impressed
that you're not just grabbing everything.
That's wonderful.
- No, I'm not gonna do that. - Good, good, I'm glad.
- That right there. - Anything else?
- [Tim] That and that.
- We're on a countdown of 30 seconds.
Either of those?
Any of these right here?
- [Tim] No. - Okay, we're at time.
Let's take a look at everything that Tim has saved.
So let's walk around the outside, come on.
I don't want you in the tools. Come this way, Tim.
Come on.
- I didn't keep anything. (chuckles)
Yeah, okay.
- Dr. Tolin. - Yeah.
- His body language is saying a whole lot here.
- It is, it is.
So Tim, tell me what you're thinking right now.
- $5,000.
$600.
Ah, I'm not used to doing that. It's hard for me to do that.
- [Dr. Tolin] It is hard.
- It doesn't make any sense to me to do that.
- To let go of things that you spent good money on.
- Well, sure. - Of course, of course.
That feels hard for you and then you want to save it.
- I don't know anybody that likes doing that at all.
- No, no.
But let me ask you this. - [Tim] Yeah?
- Would you spend $5,000 to preserve your marriage?
(suspenseful music)
- Yeah.
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah, that's what you're doing.
- I spent my life trying to. - [Dr. Tolin] Okay.
- I have one thing, Dr. Tolin. - Go for it.
- You asked Tim if he'd be willing
to pay $5,000 to save his marriage and he said yes.
- He sure did.
- I'm gonna pick on you for a second, DeeDee.
You know, like, there was no reaction over there.
- Well, he kind of hesitated and said, absolutely.
- And maybe it's none of my business,
but to me it's like this man feeds on recognition.
I've learned that in just a few days.
- [DeeDee] Yeah. - And I don't know-
- No, you're right.
I don't give him credit for all that he can do.
- That's right, so we could go negative on the hesitation
or we could go positive on the affirmation.
- Yeah, yeah, I need to work on that.
- Let's go positive on the fact that he said yes to it.
- That's true, you're right.
I'm glad y'all brought that to my attention.
I think you've done a wonderful job.
- [Dr. Tolin] Good, DeeDee. - I'm thrilled, I really am.
- In a troubled marriage,
you can choose to either go after
the negative of what you don't like
or you can choose to reinforce
the positive of what you do like.
I saw that DeeDee still needs a little work here.
(suspenseful music)
(slow bluesy music)
(metal clanging)
(vehicles revving)
Tim and I had a chance to talk yesterday one-on-one
and I really appreciate that.
And I thought it would be helpful
for the three of us to talk a little bit today.
I sort of get a sense that
the difficulty between the two of you goes way back.
And it wouldn't surprise me
if it's not all about the clutter.
You know, I think it takes a lot to drive a couple apart
and it's not just the condition of the home,
although certainly that added to it substantially.
- Mm.
- But I'd be curious to hear from both of you.
What do you think it's gonna take
to bring you back together and make you feel whole?
- Well, to be honest,
I feel like I've just kind of been in a zone for years.
- [Dr. Tolin] A zone? - Just like, twilight zone.
I'll go to work and I'm fine.
And then when I leave, this has always been on my mind.
- So, DeeDee,
let me just ask a little bit more about that
because you're talking about the hoarding
that's been happening over the last three years,
but you've been out of the house for longer than that.
And I'm just kind of curious, you know,
what drove you apart?
- When we first moved here, he didn't have a shop.
And then after that, he was gone all the time.
- Eight miles away is my shop.
So I'd go down there and stay and then-
- And you'd spend the night there?
- Sometimes until 2:00, 3:00, 4:00 in the morning.
- [Dr. Tolin] Wow.
- Sometimes just sleep in my office I was so tired.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- So you two just sort of became
like two ships passing in the night?
- Yeah, basically. - Absolutely.
- And as that was happening,
you were becoming more and more resentful.
- I was. - And how about you, Tim?
Were you happy with that situation?
- No, as it progressed, why go home?
You know, that's what happened.
- Why go home?
- Well, I mean, I'm not missing anything.
Because she's asleep when I get home,
if I do and then I get griped at because I'm waking her up.
One snide comment, one returned, one, you know?
We started, right?
Remember when we started?
- Yeah, we did.
We did that a lot.
- Yeah, and so the parting of the waves happened slowly but,
and then when you see it, it's like, what happened?
You know?
I'm over here and you're over there.
(emotive music)
- What do you feel like you need from DeeDee?
- That I matter to her at all and that she wants me around.
- DeeDee what do you you feel like you need from Tim?
- I need him to appreciate me and all that I have done
whether I've shown it or not. - [Tim] I do.
- I do not feel appreciated at all.
- You don't feel appreciated? - No, I don't. (laughs)
- I mean, I'm hearing from both of you that what you want
is for the other person to show some appreciation
and to show some love. - Yeah, yeah.
- You know, that it sounds like neither of you
feels like you're getting it.
So let's talk about that a little bit.
I mean, DeeDee,
what is something you appreciate about Tim?
- He's always been a very positive person.
He can always think of something positive
that will come out of anything and I love that about him.
He's very spontaneous.
He's kind of a clown sometimes.
- Tim, could you tell DeeDee
something that you appreciate about her?
- I appreciate you because you stuck by me.
- Yeah.
- And I don't-
That amazes me because I know,
you know, what we've been through
and I've always hung on to that.
- Well, that's good.
That's good.
- I missed you terribly
and so I'm glad that you're here right now.
- Yeah, we need to be a team like we were.
- Yep, when we met.
- I will say, I appreciate hearing you both
express appreciation to each other.
I think you've got some work ahead of you
and I'd love to see you
get into some good marriage counseling
but I really do feel
like you have the potential to rebuild here.
So I wish you the best of luck with that.
- Thank you so much. - Thank you, Doctor.
- Okay.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat country music)
(bright music)
- Yep, good, good.
Now we're all gonna turn around.
We really want to do a wonderful reveal for Tim and DeeDee.
Two, three!
And I've got a whole bunch
of secrets and surprises ready to go.
- Oh my God! I just saw that!
- Tim!
- It's not an ugly old semi anymore.
- [DeeDee] Oh my gosh, I know it!
- [Dorothy] It's a powder coating shop, by golly!
- [DeeDee] They're amazing!
- I'm stunned.
I'm kind of taking it all in right now.
You're amazing, y'all are. - Aw!
- When I took my blindfold off, I was stunned.
No, there's no words for it.
It's like inside like, (gasps)
oh, finally there's a, clouds part
and there's sunshine coming through.
- This is just the beginning.
So why don't we go take a look at the house?
Okay, here we go. - Oh, whoa.
(upbeat music)
- [DeeDee] Golly! - Oh my gosh.
- This is unreal! - They got you furniture.
- [Donna] Wow. - [Tim] Look, I can move around.
- Gosh, I can't believe this!
- It's amazing, just amazing!
Walking into the house today in comparison to the other day
for the first time, it was amazing.
I couldn't believe the difference.
Everything was clean, it was just amazing to see it.
- It's not a mechanics garage anymore.
- I've got to get used to that, I really do.
- It's not, Tim. - No more drive up services.
- [Debby] It's a home now. - [Donna] No.
- All right, why don't we keep walking around
and see what else we've got up our sleeves, huh?
(bright music)
- [DeeDee] Oh my gosh!
- Tim, look what they did for you.
- [Tim] I know, gosh. - [DeeDee] Oh, this is so nice.
- You've got music to play
and you can blast it as loud as you want.
Sit in the chairs and rock on.
- I won't bother you.
(Dorothy laughs)
- All right. - This is unbelievable.
- We've got more, let's go. - Oh my goodness.
- [Tim] Oh my gosh, look.
- Wow, oh, DeeDee.
(bright music)
(DeeDee laughs)
- [Debby] It's amazing.
- [Dr. Tolin] What's your reaction, DeeDee?
- I can't believe it.
- To see that room cleaned up,
deep down, it just gave me the hope
that they had an opportunity now to mend this marriage.
- Yes, it's a new mattress, yes! (laughs)
- They have a clean slate and that's a gift and a blessing.
- So I know you've been in here before,
but there are some things that we want to discuss with you.
Turns out that because you were so willing,
tires, you made $220.
Scrap, you made a total of $740
and the cars, you made $2,850
for a total of $3,010.
- Are you serious? - [Dorothy] Yours.
- [DeeDee] Oh. - I wasn't expecting that.
- [Debby] Good job. - I can't believe this.
(group clapping)
Thank you for being a good picker.
- Decision maker. - All the right stuff.
- So Tim, because of those decisions,
we've been able to satisfy the Fire Marshall.
So all of that's like, breathe.
And I don't think that's everything, Dr. Tolin?
- Well, I'd love to be able to tell you
that the hard part is over,
but it's just beginning
because maintaining this is gonna be work.
And by this, I mean not just the house.
You, the two of you.
On Tim's side of things, I've hooked you up
with one of the best hoarding experts in the state.
He's gonna be able to treat you virtually
and we'll pay the cost of that. - Really?
- [Dr. Tolin] Yeah. - [Tim] That's great.
- They'll help you maintain this
so that you really learn to keep this habit under control.
I think this was a really successful week
for Tim and for DeeDee.
You know, this is not just about cleaning out a house,
which we did, but it's also about changing behavior.
And I think Tim was willing to change
and I think DeeDee was willing to change.
And I think they're both better off for it.
So let me ask a question.
So are the two of you gonna stay together?
- Yes. - Yep.
- Yeah. - We sure are.
- Yeah, it's like you say, it's not gonna be easy.
We'll have to really work at it.
- It takes work, yeah.
- It will. - It will.
- And if it wasn't for all of y'all,
this never would have happened. Never would.
- Yeah, y'all are amazing.
- Well, we gotta we gotta do some work on the house.
We gotta do some work on the marriage too.
- Yeah. - Well, we can do it together.
We can. - Yes.
- We do have one more surprise.
We know that when your house burned down,
you lost your wedding rings in that fire.
And so, as a token from all of us to you both,
we would like to give you.
- [Tim] What? Oh my god. - No way! (laughs)
When Dorothy brought out the box with the wedding rings,
I can't even tell you how shocked I was.
- How about that? - Oh my gosh.
- [Debby] Oh look, that's beautiful, DeeDee.
- [Dr. Tolin] It looks nice on you, DeeDee.
- I can do it again.
- Here you go!
It feels great that it can mean something now.
And even, probably, if I had a wedding ring before,
I probably wasn't gonna wear it 'cause it didn't mean anything.
But now it's the start of a new beginning.
- We now pronounce you man and wife.
Here you go!
- [Debby] Oh my god! (DeeDee shouts and laughs)
- [Group] Cheers. - [Dorothy] Congratulations!
- You got a new house, you got everything.
This is awesome. - [DeeDee] I can't believe it.
- [Tim] To the future. - Yeah, that's right.
To the future. - Ours.
- This experience was an absolute success.
Top to bottom, every single area of life.
Tim and DeeDee, their property, their home, their finances,
everything that was involved is just like, perfect.
To the newlyweds!
- Thank you! (Dorothy laughs)
(dramatic music)