(intense music)
- I'm a collector.
- She is struggling.
- It was never like this.
(dramatic music)
- We are just finding a lot of rodent waste.
- This shouldn't have anything micey.
- [Kori] My mom's not gonna talk to me when this is over.
- I've definitely seen some moments of agitation.
- You have so much crap in there like this.
- Get rid of the whole (beep) thing then.
- You don't need it.
(dramatic music)
- It's very uncomfortable and she does not like it.
- This is my whole life and you're going through it
and trashing it.
- She's viewing us as an adversary.
- Why don't you just...
- [Dr. Zasio] Wow.
You can do this on your own, we can pack up and leave.
(dramatic music)
(pensive music)
(gentle music)
(wind chimes jingling)
(sharp string tone)
(Terri sighing)
- My name is Terri, I'm a retired hospital employee.
I have one daughter
and three granddaughters and one great-granddaughter.
I've lived in this house 48 years
and it certainly looks like I never threw anything away
in 48 years.
(dramatic music)
Things are far too cluttered, far too messed up,
too much of everything.
("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" playing)
I'm a collector.
I have Christmas things.
I had Father Christmases and Nutcrackers.
I used to do a lot of decorating for Christmas.
I have a lot of glassware, fairy lamps, oil lamps,
stained glass lamps, just glass in general.
That's my big downfall.
- I'm Kori and Terri is my mom.
She says she's a collector, I say she's a hoarder.
There is so much that she has collected.
There's been a lot of pointless purchases.
Stuff that she has picked up
from rummage sales, estate sales.
It is very overwhelming.
- I'm Zaria and Terri is my grandma.
My grandmother is a hoarder.
She thinks she's a collector, but she's not, she's hoarding.
Some China stuff, random like, cutlery.
She also has like, a bunch of clothes lying around
that she bought 'cause she thought she would wear
but never ended up wearing.
- Her bathroom is full of clothes
so she can't use the shower.
I'm not sure exactly what's going on with the plumbing,
so I'm not sure how much of the bathroom is even usable.
There's no access to the kitchen.
There's too much stuff piled up,
you can't see the counters,
you can't get to dishes, you can't get to the stove.
There's no floor, there's no walkway,
there's no place for her to sleep.
She sleeps on the couch.
(tense music)
- I had started to muck out the bedroom
and that didn't get completed.
So now I fall asleep on the couch watching TV with my cats.
Up on the couch if you think you're getting some.
(tense music)
- I'm Annika and I am Terri's granddaughter.
My first memories of my grandma's house
were her whole house was super clean.
There was nothing on the floor ever.
She used to clean up everything.
- Growing up, the house was always clean.
My room was a disaster,
but the rest of the house was always clean.
Dishes were always done.
If I was sick from school, it was my job to clean the house.
(dramatic music)
- The collecting was pretty much under control
until I had cancer and after the chemo,
the chemo losses up a lot of things.
It gives you chemo brain,
it losses up your nerves and your legs,
your back, everything.
I would buy things and a week later look at 'em and go,
"What was I thinking?"
Obviously I wasn't,
and then it was getting under control again
until COVID in 2020.
A month after I retired, I came down with it.
So then I ended up with COVID brain and the nasty headaches
and when I did start weeding things out,
I didn't have the physical energy to continue it.
(pensive music)
(plastic rustling)
- [Kori] My mom has a lot of emotional things
that she's held on to for a very long time.
My mom was an EMT for, I don't know how many years
and I don't know how many times
I heard about the people she had to pull out of cars
and the brain matter that was laying on the pavement
from a motorcycle accident or the little kids that got hurt.
You can't do that job
and not have some emotional attachment somewhere.
- Be good, girl.
I have been through so much in this life.
I got married straight outta high school,
two weeks after graduation.
My husband turned into a severe alcoholic and abusive man.
After three years of that,
I decided it was not worth it to be married.
I got a divorce and raised my daughter on my own.
- I grew up with a father who, it was nothing
for him to call at two o'clock in the morning
when he was drunk.
Tell my mom how much he loved her
and this, that, and the other thing.
When he was completely annihilated
and then in the next breath
would threaten her, he was gonna kill her.
- I was afraid of him because he did qualify marksman
in the Marine Corps and I know he had multiple weapons.
I think everything that I went through with my husband,
I purchased these things and stuck 'em away
because I deserved them for what I went through with him.
(somber music)
- [Kori] There's been conflict between my mother and I.
This conflict started when I was a teenager
and I gave my mom a lot of grief.
- [Terri] I think she was mostly mad at her father
and had nobody to take it out on.
I really think it was her lashing out
because her dad didn't give a damn.
- [Zaria] My grandma and my mom
don't really get along that well.
I believe it's 'cause they're too alike.
personality wise.
- [Kori] We come from a long line of stubborn people.
So when we get set in our head something,
we pretty much stay there.
- [Terri] If I say one thing, she'll say another,
from politics to what color the sky is.
There are days I just walk away and say,
"Whatever, see you next time, bye."
- [Kori] We don't talk much, like very rarely do we talk.
There are are communication issues between her and I
that have been there for a while.
Seven years ago, I tried to help her clean out her basement.
After about an hour, she got mad at me,
told me to leave, kicked me outta the house.
And then from that point on until
about three or four months ago,
she did not let me in the house.
She has been very secretive
about the condition of the house.
As far as anybody on the outside goes,
there is definitely an embarrassment issue there
and she did not want the whole world to know
how bad it had gotten.
(dramatic music)
She needs to have the roof replaced.
In order to get the roof replaced,
she needs to get a loan, in order to get the loan,
she needs to have an inspection done,
which in turn would cause being reported
for the code violations.
They would end up condemning the house.
- [Annika] If the house remains as it is,
I'm worried my grandma is gonna hurt herself.
- Oops, sit down.
- [Annika] She doesn't walk very well,
in general, she's got bad knees.
If my grandma were to trip over something in the house,
she has nobody to come help her.
- [Zaria] I worry about her falling somewhere,
especially at nighttime if she's walking through her hallway
and if there's a fire,
she wouldn't really be able to get out quick enough.
- [Kori] To look at the house now,
it is nothing but a huge fire hazard
and anything could set that off.
The cleanup needs to be done
so my mother doesn't set the house on fire and die in it.
(tense music)
(dramatic music)
- My mom can barely walk.
She needs her knees replaced.
She has health conditions that, honestly,
if she were to ever need to call 911,
at this point, they'd never be able to get in to get her.
(tense music)
(door knocking)
- [Dr. Zasio] Hello. - Hello, there.
- [Dr. Zasio] Hi, Terri? - Yes.
- Hi, I'm Dr. Zasio.
- Hello, come on in.
- [Dr. Zasio] Thank you very much.
I'm Dr. Robin Zasio, I'm a licensed clinical psychologist
and I specialize in helping people
struggling with hoarding disorder.
So Terri, the place I wanna start
is by asking you how you're feeling about my being here.
- I expect condemning and humiliation
and snide remarks because of all of this.
- Is that what you've gotten from other people?
- That's because I haven't allowed people in the house,
but through other areas of my life.
- Okay, okay, and so when was the last time
somebody was in your house other than you?
- My daughter and her daughters a few weeks ago.
My daughter started on me right away
and she had gotten me so angry
that I went out back and sat and said,
"Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore."
- Yeah, yeah.
Fear of judgment and condemnation
is a very common trait that individuals have
who are struggling with hoarding behaviors.
I feel like it's really important
that Terri understand that I understand she is struggling.
We get that you're having trouble
and that's why we're here, right?
The second thing is, there is absolutely no judgment on you.
This happened for a reason.
I'm here to help uncover
how your house got to this kind of shape, okay?
And to try to figure out how we can prevent it
from happening in the future.
The stuff that I see around,
there's definitely a bit of a mixture.
I see some food, some clothing,
containers, supplies, that sort of thing.
What does shopping do for you?
- It reinforces this little voice that says I deserve it.
- Okay, what do you feel in that moment?
So we feel good when we acquire,
but then when you come home, what are you feeling?
- Disgusted with myself because I'm adding to the mess.
- Interesting, okay.
I think there's some self-esteem issues with Terri.
I'm thinking, how could there not be?
Because living under these conditions does not demonstrate
that somebody truly cares about themself
and their environment that they're living in.
How long has this issue been going on?
- When I was going through chemo,
the chemo brain started to kick in
and things got a little outta hand.
And as I recovered from that, things were getting better
and then I ended up with a nasty case of COVID.
So then it was, you didn't have the energy,
the headaches and the constant body aches
and you just didn't do anything.
- The effects of the chemo,
have those subsided at this point?
- No, I ended up with severe neuropathy from the chemo
and it's damaged my legs and my back.
- So, that's a big contributor
to your ability to get this place in order, okay.
She struggles with thinking clearly.
She has neuropathy, she has trouble walking,
and you can barely even walk in there.
I'm really concerned
about Terri continuing to live in this environment
and what this means for her health.
So this is your bedroom?
- Yes. - Is this where you sleep?
- [Terri] No, I've been sleeping on the couch
because I fall asleep quicker and better if I'm watching TV.
- Okay.
Is the goal to get back into sleeping in this room again?
- [Terri] Oh, absolutely.
I eventually, if necessary, I'd like my dad to move in.
He's 90, you know the legs aren't as steady,
and he's a little forgetful sometimes, and so I'm like,
I told my sister, he's not going to a nursing home.
- Okay, so let's talk about this room.
We can't really get in there.
It looks pretty packed, a little more than this room.
- [Terri] Yeah.
It is.
A lot of the furniture is antique.
- And I see a sink faucet, bathroom here?
- Yeah.
- [Dr. Zasio] Can I take a quick peek in here?
I see a trash bag in the toilet.
No plumbing?
- The bowl cracked so it leaks.
- Okay.
This is a situation with a whole host of crises
that need to be resolved immediately.
We need to figure out how to get the appliances fixed.
We need to get the house cleared.
All of these factors are things that we have to get in order
for this house to be safe and livable.
All right, we can pretty much just hold up here.
Living room, right? - Yep.
- What do you foresee is the percentage of things
that you need to get rid of in this home to make it livable?
- At least 50. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
- [Terri] At least.
- I think you're gonna have to shoot
for closer to 70 to make it livable.
Livable means, I wanna come home.
I wanna have people over, I love my house.
I enjoy being here.
- I have never really loved this house
because my ex was an abusive drunk
and I've probably gotten the snot knocked out of me
in every room.
So while I like it, it's my home, I've never loved it.
- [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
I'm sorry.
How long were you married for?
- Just three years, after that I decided
that I was more scared for my daughter.
- [Dr. Zasio] And where is he now?
- Dead.
(Dr. Zasio exhales) (tense music)
- It sounds like there is some relief.
- Even after he got married for the fifth time,
when he would get drunk, he would call me
and go into his tirade and how he was gonna kill me,
and he qualified as marksman in the Marine Corps.
So I was afraid to answer a ambulance call
because I didn't wanna walk in my backyard in the dark.
- Okay.
The problem with trauma is you can never forget
about the memories, but you can learn to deal with them.
Even though she has a sense of hopelessness about this home.
I'm trying to uplift Terri and let her know
that she can make good decisions.
You met a man who was an abusive at the time
and you left him, which was a good decision.
- Yes, it was.
- [Dr. Zasio] For you and for your daughter.
- Yes. - [Dr. Zasio] Good decision.
You had the right to say,
"I certainly don't want you coming in my house
'cause I don't need judgment."
However, you let me in, that's a good decision.
You made good decisions for you
and I just wanna point that out, okay?
- Okay. - All right?
I wanna capitalize on the really good things about you.
This is really gonna be a challenge to see what we can do
to not just make this home safe and livable,
but a home that Terri is happy in.
She is going to need to create new memories
so that she can have new experiences in this home,
but she's gonna have to do the hard work
and make the decisions to let go of the stuff.
- This home has been fraught with painful memories.
With creating a new, safe environment,
it will allow for her father to come in.
It will allow for her daughter and her granddaughters
to come in and together, they can make new memories
that hopefully will bring some joy
and happiness to Terri's life in this home.
I wanna take you outside because Cory,
who's gonna head up the team of people
who are gonna help you organize your stuff,
he's here and he wants to talk with you
and I think he wants to see your home as well.
- Hm, okay. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
(light music) (door creaking)
- [Dr. Zasio] Hello. - Hello, there.
- [Terri] Hi. - [Dr. Zasio] Hi, I'm Dr. Zasio.
- Hi, Kori, I'm Terri's daughter.
- Okay, all right. Well, welcome.
- Hi Terri, I'm Cory also.
I'm Cory Chalmers, an extreme cleaner
specializing in biohazard and hoarding.
I'm gonna walk through the house with Kori, Terri's daughter.
She can help gimme a little bit of the background
on how it got this way.
I haven't seen it yet and I need to make a plan.
So walking through the house is the first step
for me in understanding the severity of this hoard.
(tense music)
Wow, this is a small kitchen.
Feels even smaller because it's so full.
- Yes, it is.
- [Cory] When was the last time you had a meal
in this kitchen?
- Me personally, probably about 10 years ago.
- But you could cook in this kitchen 10 years ago?
- Yeah.
- So what do you think triggered it to get this bad
in the last 10 years?
- My younger years she spent as an EMT.
So she's seeing more horrific things
than most people should. - [Cory] Yeah.
- [Kori] And to hold on to that, you never get rid of it.
- But as an EMT, she also understands
that like a mandated reporter,
she knows you're not supposed to be living like this too.
- Right.
- So that'll work in our favor
'cause we can kind of bring that up and say,
"Look, if you were an EMT and you got called to this house,
one, how could you do your job?
Two, what if you reported that person and why?"
One thing that I do notice as soon as we walked in
that I didn't mention,
there is a very strong smell of ammonia in here.
Very strong.
The terrible cat ammonia odor in this house,
when you walk in, it just hits you like a wall.
I'm hoping that if we remove a lot of the contents
that are saturated, a lot of that odor will go with it.
I saw you point at that door when we walked in.
- Basement is down there.
- Okay, and it's full?
- Full.
(tense music)
Its full of just, miscellaneous, random stuff.
- Are the utilities down there, do you know?
- Water heater's downstairs, furnace is downstairs.
Main power box is downstairs.
- And do all of her utilities work?
- No. - [Cory] What's not working?
- I don't think the furnace has worked in a couple of years.
- Okay, so that's gonna be a priority.
It gets really cold here,
so we have to make sure that she has heat.
One of the unknowns in Terri's home is this basement
that we hear is hoarded, it's inaccessible right now.
Unfortunately, this basement is where we need to access
to get the water heater, the furnace,
and other things looked at
to see if we can even fix 'em before we leave.
We'll just go to the end there
and let's take a look at whatever rooms these are.
Let's just start with this one, what is this room?
- This is my mom's room.
- [Cory] And does she sleep in here?
- [Kori] No.
- [Cory] Where is she sleeping?
- [Kori] She sleeps on the couch.
- And how long has she been sleeping in the living room?
- I don't think she slept in her room in years.
- Because of the clutter?
- Yeah. - [Cory] Okay.
There's a lot of stuff for sure.
- [Kori] I don't know how it got this bad, I feel sad.
Very disheartened by the overwhelming amount of stuff
that's in that house.
- [Cory] All right, and what is this room behind you?
- [Kori] This is the bathroom.
- Oh yes, it is.
So she obviously doesn't shower here
'cause it's completely full, so where is she cleaning up?
- I don't know.
- And the toilet is wrapped in plastic, do you know why?
- [Kori] I have absolutely no idea.
- [Cory] If I can get in here.
It's working, but only 'cause there's a bag in there.
So she's just going in that bag,
and then taking that bag out somewhere, I guess.
So this complicates things a bit.
As part of the cleanup, we need to replace this toilet
as long as the plumbing's working
so that she has a functional toilet
to work with after we leave.
So we need to find out what she's doing with the bags
and what's wrong with the toilet.
- That part, I did not know.
- All right, so, there's the front door.
That's gonna be like, our first priority,
getting that door open.
One of my concerns for Terri's health in this home
is ingress and egress.
She has blocked doors, blocked windows.
Really the only way out is that rear door.
If there was a fire
or if rescue workers needed to get in there
to care for her, they couldn't.
Is that her only heat source right now?
Is that space heater?
- That would be my guess, yes.
- [Cory] Do you have any idea why it's taped like that?
- [Kori] I have absolutely no idea.
- I hate space heaters in hoarded homes.
- [Kori] Well, I was gonna say she shouldn't have it in here.
- Yeah.
Space heaters cause fires
all across the country in normal homes.
But you put them in mixed in with all this clutter,
it's a very dangerous situation that I hate seeing.
Okay, so this is where she's sleeping?
- [Kori] Yep.
- [Cory] I mean, how does that make you feel looking at that?
It's kinda sad. - Very sad.
- She's got a lot of health problems
and she should be in her bed.
She should be in her big, huge bed in her room,
very comfortable.
- I told her she was worth more than this
and she deserved better.
- Absolutely, she certainly does.
No one should be living like this and that's why we're here.
It's tough, I know, it is.
She's been living in quite a different way
for a long time.
- Growing up, it was never like this.
- [Cory] Was it cluttered?
- No. - [Cory] Not at all?
- My room. (Cory laughs)
I was a teenager, my room.
- Yeah. But this is not her. - No.
- Yeah.
(intense music)
- Walking through Terri's house,
this is not an enormous home or an enormous hoard,
but there's some underlying problems
that might be difficult to solve.
The first one being the utilities.
(tense music)
- [Dr. Zasio] Hello.
- We are done.
Well, I think it's very doable.
- Mmhmm. - Can you tell me,
there's a space heater being used in the living room?
- [Terri] Yes.
- Do you have heat, does the furnace work?
I'm hearing, kind of different reports on that.
- [Terri] The furnace quit.
At the time, I was not able to afford to bring somebody in
and if I brought somebody in to that mess,
the city would condemn the house.
- Sure.
- There's no gas going to the house at the moment.
- So they turned your gas off? - So they turned the gas off.
- What would it take to turn it back on?
They need to inspect every appliance that has a pilot.
- Just the water heater and the furnace.
- [Cory] Which are both in the basement,
which was inaccessible.
So we need to address that.
So I'm just trying to prioritize
so I can make the best cleaning plan.
And last, plumbing, I noticed in the bathroom
you got some issue with the toilet.
- Yes.
- [Cory] So what's the problem with the toilet?
It just cracked? - [Terri] Yeah.
- Okay, so that's something else we'll wanna fix
before we leave to make sure
that this house is functional and safe.
That's the two things I always like to say, nothing else.
I just want it functional and safe.
- Kori, what are your concerns?
- That my mom's not gonna talk to me when this is over.
(tense music)
- [Cory] Is that valid?
- Yes. - Okay.
- [Cory] Why?
- I don't know.
- [Cory] Well, are we here because she's a mean person?
Because she doesn't like you?
- Yes.
- I think she's here because she loves you,
because inside, she started crying seeing
how you were living and where you were sleeping.
And don't talk yet, don't.
You're gonna be quick to respond.
This is that communication thing, she was just sad,
and that's okay, and that's why she gets emotional
when she tries to help you and it doesn't go as planned.
- And she's teary right now.
So someone who doesn't care about you
would not be getting teary, okay?
Our goal here is to increase your communication
for a lifetime, okay?
And she loves you, Terri, look at her.
She loves you, okay?
- You deserve better than this.
- I know that.
- [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
So, you have the love of your daughter here,
and try not to misread her upset
about the condition of the house
as not caring about you, right?
She's upset because she loves you.
It's just that sometimes as human beings, when we're upset,
we don't know how to express it in a way
that can be received.
So, we get that.
- [Cory] There's a lot of layers to this.
So please don't say anymore
that you're not gonna talk to your daughter after this,
because it sounds like you have so much
that you have to get done in a pretty short timeframe.
I would be thanking her that we're here
because we are probably the only way
this is gonna happen for you.
(emotive music)
(intense music)
(door slams)
We just arrived to the house for day one of cleanup
and it's snowing, not ideal.
It's cold, it's gonna make a mess.
I'm gonna call a morning meeting
just so we can talk about the plan for the day.
Good morning, everyone.
- [All] Good morning.
- Well, as you can see,
the weather is not playing nice today.
So that's gonna be the first hurdle.
So let's talk about a plan,
kinda how we're gonna start the day, what needs to be done.
Just so that we're all on the same page
about the things we want to try to solve before we leave.
The first one is we need to make space where it's safe.
God forbid you ever have a fire, you can get out,
'cause right now, I don't think you could, okay?
Second is your functioning home, your heat, plumbing,
stuff like that that we've kinda discussed.
We need to get the furnace working.
We need to replace the toilet,
and that means we have to do a lot of work
to get to the furnace and some of those things, okay?
Which is gonna mean
you're gonna have to make some hard decisions
and some fast decisions, we have plenty of crew.
- The faster the better,
'cause then I won't have to think about it.
- Well, we want you to think about it.
- The one thing that we cannot work with is,
"Whatever, you guys do it."
At that point, we are gonna halt, we're gonna stop.
The crew will stand down
because we are not going to have people
taking things out of your home without you approving it, okay?
Stuff is not as important as the relationship
that a mother and a daughter has
and it seems like the stuff has created a wedge
between the two of you.
So Terri, what do you think about,
kind of, what I've just covered?
- Okay.
- [Dr. Zasio] Sounds okay, any concerns?
- No.
- Okay, I'll roll with that right now,
but we'll maybe chit chat a little bit later.
- Okay, so is everyone ready? - [All] Yep.
- All right, let's head to the back.
(tense music)
(engine revving)
(door creaking)
And let's get behind this door, Brian.
- [Brian] Okay.
(plastic rustling)
(trash clattering)
- So, we've gotten in the back of the house.
So we're gonna start cleaning the kitchen
and that pathway directly to the front door
so we can get a second point of access.
(tense music)
(objects clattering)
Everything is either getting thrown in a trash can
or bagged up to go to the sorting area.
(tense music) (objects clattering)
- So when you're thinking about holding onto stuff,
you wanna make sure it's gonna have a home,
that there's gonna be a cupboard to put it in.
- [Terri] Yes. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay?
And I know it's gonna be hard
because you have a ton of Tupperware,
so we wanna pare it down to the things
that you'll actually use,
because when it's at the bottom of a pile
or in the middle of a pile, you can't use it.
Terri is not a woman of many words.
So, are we keeping this?
- Yes.
- She just agrees to a lot of things,
but when she doesn't speak her mind,
I don't know what's going on
and it makes it really difficult.
Now, how many dog dishes do you need?
- For as many dogs as I decide to keep.
- So Terri, we wanna work together as a team,
which means communicating, okay?
(objects clattering)
- Put it in by spices.
Can go.
- Do we wanna save this?
- What?
Then throw 'em.
- [Abigail] Well, I want, I mean...
- So Terri, she's just pointing out that these are soiled
and you have a lot of new stuff in there
and do you wanna mix the soiled stuff with the new stuff?
If you do, that's your choice.
But this is where we wanna challenge you
to think a little more critically about-
- [Terri] I did not realize that one had been used.
- [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
In the first round of sorting,
I've definitely seen some moments of agitation,
which is not uncommon.
But for Terri, the agitation seems to be misdirected.
She's not seeing us as a team.
- Last week.
- It almost seems like she's viewing us as an adversary.
- Well, it seems like you guys have decided what I can
and what I can't, so why don't you just.
- We decided? - Are you being serious?
- Yes.
You can't do this, we can't donate that.
You've got too many towels, get rid.
(tense music)
- So you don't like us helping you to make good decisions?
- No, you're making the decision, I'm not.
- I haven't made one decision, Terri,
you have made all of the decisions.
We are directing and encouraging you,
but I haven't put one thing in the garbage
and I haven't kept one thing, you've done it all.
- (indistinct) - [Dr. Zasio] Huh?
- Where's the rest?
- No, let's stop and have the conversation.
If you're gonna come out and make a comment like that,
let's get to the bottom of it.
- I'm worried that we're gonna continue
in this sort of adversarial relationship
rather than working as a team together.
I mean, Terri, if you are feeling
like we are making the decisions
and that you don't have a say in it,
and you can do this on your own, we can pack up and leave.
(dramatic music)
(tense music)
- All right, well, let's give her some more stuff.
She wants to keep working.
- Is all this already decided? - [Dr. Zasio] That's all keep.
- It is?
Well, let's get it in some boxes.
- Oh, that's gotta go-
That's gotta go to the car.
- If there's stuff that see, before we just box it up,
that you need to live, please tell us, okay?
Don't let us just throw everything in boxes.
- So Terri, these are the hard conversations
that we have to have, okay?
This is mouse droppings, okay?
Plastic items cannot be cleaned because they're porous.
- Throw it. - Is that a decision you made
or is it a decision you think I made?
(tense music)
- Throw it.
- Is this a decision that you made
or one that you think that I made?
- The top is broken, you can throw it.
- Okay. (object clattering)
- I don't think anybody
is trying to make decisions for her.
They're trying to push her into the right direction.
- [Dr. Zasio] These dog dishes?
- Yes. - [Dr. Zasio] Thank you.
- Pointing out the obvious
that she's choosing to not look at.
- [Cory] I would recommend throwing away,
but it can obviously be cleaned.
But if you have another set you're gonna use.
- [Terri] Just throw it. - [Cory] Are you sure?
Do you know what pots and pans these go to then?
So we know which ones we can get rid of.
- [Terri] There should be ones that are hanging.
- [Cory] Okay, I don't want you to regret this stuff tomorrow.
I feel like you're being pressured and bullied.
- I am.
- [Cory] Like you feel that way, not that we're doing it,
but I don't want this to come back to haunt us tomorrow.
So is that a choice that you would make?
- I was going to donate those pots and pans anyway,
but since we cannot donate anything, throw it.
- [Cory] Okay.
- Right now, all I really wanna do is walk into the house
and grab a bunch of bags and start throwing things in bags
and saying, "Here, don't take this to her,
take this to the garbage."
- This shouldn't have anything micey.
- [Dr. Zasio] Okay, so then you're gonna dry clean,
or what are you?
- It will be bleached in Oxi.
- [Kori] Get rid of it, Mom.
You have so much crap in there like this.
- Oh fine, get rid of the whole thing then.
- You don't need it.
She'd be telling me, get rid of it.
You haven't used it in forever.
You haven't been able to find it, get rid of it.
You don't need it.
- [Terri] Give me a few minutes, guys.
- [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
(tense music)
- [Annika] And Zaria was like, oh no, what did mom do?
- [Terri] Oh, she's agreeing with these guys.
Just got one little mouse to turd on it,
it's gotta get thrown away.
She just threw away $80 worth of curtain lace.
She was like, you don't need it, get rid of it.
So you know what, fine, let 'em get rid of all of it.
- So you know her better than us.
So how do you think she will respond to this?
Will she calm down and reengage?
Are we gonna have to kind of go and engage her
and bring her back into the game?
- She will come back, just give her a couple minutes.
- [Cory] Okay. - Yeah.
- All right.
- Because even she's at the point
where if I tell her to get rid of something, she gets mad.
- [Cory] Terri's really struggling
with the way the cleanup's going,
which is because we're challenging her.
She's very used to working with her family
and when they have some discord or fight,
they just stop and nothing ensues after that.
So by us challenging her,
it's very uncomfortable and she does not like it.
- We're challenging her,
but none of us have made any decisions
about any of her stuff, so I'm confused about that.
- She was told that nothing in there was salvageable,
nothing in there is washable. - [Cory] We didn't say that.
- [Dr. Zasio] Nobody said that.
- We're saying it's not donatable.
There's a big difference between the two.
- Well, she thinks if she washes it, she can donate it.
- [Cory] Is she going to?
Is she gonna wash a half a million things?
- No.
- So that's the kind of pushback.
We need reality in this situation.
When she comes up with a crazy excuse,
we come up with a factual answer.
- [Dr. Zasio] So do you think that cognitively,
there is some impairment that could be explaining why?
- Could be.
- Or is this something that you've seen that's common
with her when she gets upset
that it kind of gets thrown back?
- That too.
- Because she doesn't wanna be challenged.
- Yeah, so it's a challenging first day all around.
How about we switch out granddaughters for you
for a little while?
Now again, this isn't anything against you.
This is just the relationship you guys have.
- I know, I know. - There's a lot of tension,
there's a lot of bad blood from the past
that's gonna come into play.
So if we have the granddaughters kind of step into your role,
do you think that will change the dynamic a little bit?
- It might.
- [Cory] Okay.
- Oh, maybe she's coming out.
(car door clicks)
Door's open. - [Cory] Good.
Hey Terri,
would you be able to just work with your granddaughters?
- Yes. - [Cory] Okay.
Why don't we end the day like that
and if your granddaughters and you
can kind of sort through this remaining staff,
we'll call it a day.
Would that work?
Okay, we don't want to end on a bad note today,
and I wanna clear one thing up.
I did not say everything in your house is not salvageable.
I said everything in your house is not donatable
and there's a big difference between the two, okay?
- That's all right, it can all go.
- [Cory] Right, but that's...
- [Dr. Zasio] Terri, this isn't communication.
- [Cory] You're just giving in
and I don't want you to feel like we're pressuring you.
I want you to feel like we're challenging you, that's it.
We're challenging your way of thinking
that got you in this position, okay?
I don't want you to feel like we're all ganging up on you,
'cause that won't help
and I know you said you trust your granddaughters,
so let's try to get you back engaged
with people that you trust.
- Okay. - [Cory] Okay?
And you guys can help make decisions with her.
Does that sound good?
If we can get through this stuff on this tarp
in the next 45 minutes, let's just say,
then we can kinda stop, okay?
Well, good luck, I'm gonna bow out.
- Okay, Abigail?
- Do you wanna stand or sit?
- Stand for a little bit. - [Abigail] Okay.
- Those, I don't think there's anything in them.
- [Abigail] Okay. - So that can all go.
- [Abigail] Okay.
- The pizza stone, I just assume keep.
(objects clattering)
I threw these away twice already, for heaven sake.
I haven't even read it, so I can't.
- [Abigail] Well, I'm not making that decision for you.
Okay.
- [Zaria] I think my grandma makes better choices
if me and my sister are there
because my grandma usually is just really good with us.
With my mom, she isn't,
but with me and my sister, she is.
- [Abigail] Can I trash this? - Yep, and that.
(objects clattering)
- [Cory] She's reengaged, she's in a much better mood.
So I'm hopeful that tomorrow,
she's gonna be in that same mood when we start the day.
- [Dr. Zasio] Stuff is not as important
as the relationship that a mother and a daughter has.
It seems like the stuff has created a wedge
between the two of you.
- We come from a long line of stubborn people.
Get rid of it, mom.
- [Terri] If I say one thing, she'll say another.
From politics to what color the sky is.
- You have so much crap in there like this.
- Oh fine, get rid of the whole thing then.
- You don't need it.
(intense music)
- [Terri] You guys have decided what I can and what I can't,
so why don't you just...
- We decided? - Are you being serious?
- Yes.
- So you don't like us helping you to make good decisions?
- No, you're making the decision, I'm not.
- We are directing and encouraging you.
I'm worried that we're gonna continue
in this sort of adversarial relationship
rather than working as a team together.
(dramatic music) (plastic rustling)
- [Cory] Good morning, guys. - [All] Good morning.
- Well, it's day two.
Let's just check in and see how you think day one went
and kinda how you're feeling today.
- Outside of the headache, fine.
I'm still kind of resentful
that I had to dump all that white lace.
That's very, very expensive.
- There was a $4 price tag on it, mom.
- That's because the fabric store was going out of business
and normally it's $40 a yard.
- So just hear her out.
We wanna set those boundaries.
So if she's letting go
and she's really hung up on keeping something,
if you guys have a problem with it
or you're struggling with why,
call one of us over and let us talk through it.
But let's not try to force her hand
because there was a lot of,
I'll say, resentment too yesterday,
that she was feeling forced to throw things away
and we don't want that.
- We want you to be really clear
that no one is forcing you to do anything.
So if Kori says, "I think you should get rid of it."
Ultimately it is your choice what you decide to do.
We're not here to get rid of all of your stuff.
We're here to guide, to hear your voice
and to know when you put your foot down,
you're putting your foot down, period.
And Kori and girls,
that's important for everybody to hear, also,
how can we adjust our style to work with Terri
to get this house in order,
and you guys have been engaging in one style,
one ineffective style for a very, very long time,
and it's clearly not working - 46 years
all the way up until yesterday, right?
So are you guys on board with that?
You guys ready? - Yep.
- All right, so what's the plan for today?
- My goal today would be to get through the kitchen,
living room and your bedroom.
Do you think you have it in you to make a lot of decisions
and help us set some rules today to speed that process up
to get most of your first floor done?
- Yes.
- Good, if you guys are ready, I am.
Well, let's get started. - [Dr. Zasio] All right.
(objects clattering) (tense music)
(objects clattering) (plastic rustling)
- So, you guys can start on the stuff that's over there
and one of you can take this back, see how it goes.
We have Terri and the granddaughters
back at the sorting table,
just working on their communication skills
and seeing if they can't put a big dent
in all the stuff that's come out waiting for them to sort.
You can't spend that much time on stuff.
- I don't know if you can keep it.
- [Cory] If you don't know, quickly ask your grandma.
- Do you want it? - Yes, ma'am.
- [Cory] Okay.
- Well, I'm gonna just keep asking her
'cause I don't like making decisions.
- [Cory] No, don't do that.
You can make some decisions on your own.
Is that something you want your grandma to use?
- No, it's dirty.
- [Cory] Is it something you think your grandma needs
to live a normal functioning life in her home?
- No. - [Cory] Okay.
So set some rules for yourself too.
The biggest challenge for Terri today
is going to be the communication.
We really struggled with her yesterday
trying to get her to open up, let us know how she was feeling,
and even communicating with her family.
She just uses one word and then kind of shrugs us off.
- [Terri] No. - [Cory] No, what?
- I wasn't gonna throw it away.
- [Cory] We need more clarification than "no"
because I don't know what that means either.
So what is the decision on that?
- I would like to keep.
- [Cory] Okay, so just say keep.
(tense music)
(objects clattering)
- No.
(tense music) (objects clattering)
- We're finishing up the kitchen.
We've got most of the stuff removed,
but we are just finding a lot of rodent waste.
(dramatic music)
I really wanna bring Terri in to see it,
to show her the damage that these rodents have created
and make sure that she's aware of the biohazard
and the dangers that are present in her kitchen.
(door creaks)
- [Dr. Zasio] Whew.
(tense music)
- All right, so first of all,
how does it feel to have space?
What's going through your head?
You're not smiling ear to ear, so, what-
Just talk, again, we need to know what you're thinking.
Let us know how this makes you feel
because it's an important part of the process.
You have some concerns about things missing or something?
- No, not missing. - [Cory] Okay.
- [Dr. Zasio] Terri, how about the condition?
- I'm surprised it's that...
Bad.
- Okay.
- [Cory] And that's really what we want you to see.
A lot of your furniture is ruined from moisture.
- That was from the previous dog.
- Okay.
But it's something that we should address while we're here
because the odors and things
are gonna be coming from things like that
because they're so saturated with urine,
that doesn't go away.
Underneath every part of your house
is probably gonna look like this.
So the further we get down,
we're gonna find things that are ruined
because of these rodents
and we still have all the cupboards and drawers.
And again, I want you to see the condition,
because we can't keep stuff like that.
- [Dr. Zasio] So that is pretty much rodent waste, right?
All that stuff on top.
- All this is just from their fur.
But you can see it's full of rodent stuff everywhere.
- So are you okay with just letting that whole thing go
or are you hoping to clean it?
- No, it can go. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
Kori, I wanna ask you. - Mm-hmm.
- As a daughter, this would be very difficult
for me to see if my mom was living in a house
with all of this waste, so what are your thoughts?
- I'm just happy it's clean, or getting clean
and it's all gone. - Okay.
(somber music)
- It's sad,
knowing that that creates a lot of health issues,
and Mom, you got enough.
So we'll get rid of it and start over.
(Kori crying)
I'm trying to fix 30 years. (cries)
(emotive music)
- Maybe we can look at this more of trying to heal, okay?
And it's possible because human beings can change.
That's the really cool thing, is we're never at that place
where we've maxed out our ability to change.
They've had 30 years of communication breakdown.
We can't fix that overnight.
We can't even fix it in the four or five days that I'm here.
However, we can start the healing process.
Part of this home being restored
is restoring your relationship
so that the two of you can be in this home
and have really good memories.
It's not gonna be about the stuff anymore,
it's gonna be about your relationship.
I'm gonna give both of you an assignment tonight.
I would like you to write a letter to each other
about what you would like your relationship to look like.
So you're gonna write a letter to your mom
about what you would like your relationship
with her to look like,
and then you're gonna write a letter to Kori
about what you would like your relationship
to look like with her, okay?
- [Kori] Mm-hmm.
- So are both of you willing to do that tonight?
Okay, Kori?
- Mm-hmm. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay.
- I think it's important that we bring Terri
in to work with Kori,
because this whole thing is about their past
and their communication struggles,
and I wanna see 'em start working together.
- Since you and Kori have had a hard time
doing this previously,
we think that it will be another step in your healing
to be in this room working together.
You know,
we only have one go around and this is your only daughter
and for the years that the two of you have left,
to be able to really honor those and maximize those.
- I don't want you to ever give up on the relationship
with your daughter because like she said,
it's never too late, okay?
Give her a chance, she's here fighting for you, okay?
So that is right next to you.
(pensive music) (objects clattering)
- Want this crossword books?
- [Terri] No, they can go.
Yeah.
- [Cory] Keep? - Yes, please.
Go. - [Cory] Good.
(objects clattering)
- [Terri] Throw it, I'll never use it.
(pensive music)
(objects clattering)
(truck engine revving)
(pensive music)
- Honestly, how are you guys doing communicating
and making decisions together
and just talking through things?
- That's okay. - [Cory] Yeah?
- The only thing we pulled out of the garbage
was something she threw away.
- Okay, that's all right.
- And it was a magnifying glass.
- We were supposed to get the bedroom done today.
We really had some high hopes.
So I have to get this room done.
I think Terri is sticking to her word of 50%,
at least right now.
The problem is 50% of a hoarder's house
is still a lot of stuff.
She needs to let go of a lot more.
In a house like this, she would have to let go of about 95%
to have it look like a normal functioning home.
So at this point, we need to step it up a little.
Steri-Clean guys, can you come in?
We're gonna do the living room,
just like we did in the kitchen, same rules.
(pensive music)
(objects clattering)
(light suspense music) (objects clattering)
- We're at the end of the day
and it's time to take Terri into her living room
so that she can see the progress made.
(trash clattering)
Hello?
- Hello there. - [Dr. Zasio] Hi.
Wow, you guys are making some magic in here,
I'll tell you what.
- Yeah, it's come a long way today.
- It has come a long way, like, oh my gosh, amazing.
- Mm-hmm. Is it starting to feel like
this weight is literally lifting off of you?
- Yeah. - [Cory] Good.
Because this really seems like it's held you down
and I hope this is like a freeing experience
to see now two rooms clear
and I hope there's not a huge sense of loss
of anything that's gone yet.
You guys worked together too today, okay,
for the first time, probably in a while.
How do you guys feel how today went?
It was a new you, right?
You gave up some control and did some things.
So how did that feel?
- I would just like to get it done
so I can see what I saw
up here, out here.
- So you had a vision? - [Cory] Yeah.
- Good, that's good. - I love that.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah.
The fact that she had a vision is really encouraging.
Up until now, we've had one and two word answers.
It's been pretty negative.
- I'm hoping tomorrow, you have the same positive outlook
because it seems like each day you're more positive,
which means you're gonna work even harder and let more go.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, and that's how we get this done.
That's the only way.
So, sleep on it.
Remember the positives, don't dwell on the one negative,
and you have this wonderful space
that is feeling 10 times as big now.
So tomorrow, we need to just finish this
and then get into your bedroom tomorrow.
We have to get that bedroom done.
If we were to leave with just that done,
we have all the functional areas.
We'll get your bathroom done, we'll get your bedroom done,
living room, kitchen.
If that was all we did,
I would feel happy that you have a functional, safe home.
Okay, I'd like to get further,
so I'm gonna keep pushing for that.
- Okay, I think the final thing for me
is we talked earlier today
about this process of starting to work
on healing your relationship together.
I asked both of you to write a letter to each other
about what you would like your relationship to look like.
Kori, are you still willing to do that?
- Yeah. - Terri?
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, great.
- Just again, just keep positive tonight, okay?
When you go to bed, lay down,
think of all the good things that have come out of this.
That's all I ask for you to do.
- My hope for tomorrow is that Terri maintains the vision
that she wants for her house
and she really kicks it into high gear
and lets go of even more stuff.
We still have part of the living room, two bedrooms,
a bathroom, and a basement.
That is a tall order.
(tense music)
(objects clattering)
- All right, have a seat on the couch, ladies.
The communication between Terri and Kori
has been fractured for many years.
So I came up with an idea for each of them
to write a letter to one another
about how they feel about each other
and what they would like their relationship to look like.
The goal of writing these letters
has been to help you be able to express yourself,
because that's been really difficult for the two of you.
Are you ready to go ahead and read them?
(gentle music)
- If you really don't want to, I will read it.
- If you want to. - Okay.
"Dear mom, first off, I love you and I'm proud
for everything you are doing this week.
This clean out will make life for you so much easier
and hopefully, what it does for our relationship
in the future.
I want my mom to make an effort
at acknowledging me as your daughter.
How many times in my lifetime when I did something
you didn't approve of, did you look at me and say,
'You are not the daughter I raised'?
Mom, I need you to look past my false.
I am still your daughter.
You know, mom, I've had a lifetime
of why wasn't I ever good enough
and why couldn't I be loved moments,
from my father as a kid, which all came out
when I lost it at his funeral.
I don't want to add those feelings
to the last part of my life with you.
I'm sorry for everything I've done wrong in your life
that I may have had a part in.
You're my mom and while we butt heads, I am a mini you.
Please find a way to love yourself again
so you can actually love me again, Kori."
I have always loved you.
There's never been a question of that.
I don't love some of the decisions you've made.
- I know.
- But I've never, ever stopped loving you.
(emotive music)
- Are you ready for your letter, Terri?
Can you read it, Kori?
- It says, "Dear Kori, in the future,
I would like to be able to spend time with you
without the bickering, snide remarks from either of us.
I wanna tell you how proud I am
of the woman you are becoming. Love, mom."
(Kori sniffles)
- Come here.
- This was the beginning of mending
some of the fracture in their relationship.
It seemed like they were really able to dig deep down
and talk to each other from their hearts.
This was probably the most important part
of this whole process.
Here is the rawness and the realness of the two of you
and I hope that you can really capitalize on that
and let go of the past and embrace the future.
Let's get to continuing the cleanup.
- Yes. - Okay.
(dumpster clanking)
(objects clattering)
- [Cory] Because the cleanup has gone so slow
over the last couple days
with Terri needing to make most of the decisions,
I need her to give me a new plan
or some way that we can get these two additional bedrooms
cleaned up quickly.
(tense music)
We don't have a lot of time left.
So with these last two bedrooms,
can we give up some control
so we can make some quick decisions
and maybe put Kori in one room
and put your granddaughters in another room
and just get through it?
- Yeah.
- [Cory] You're okay with that? - Yes.
- [Cory] All right, that would be perfect.
So thank you for giving up control.
You're getting better and better at this, I will say.
- [Dr. Zasio] Absolutely.
And I feel like, Terri, you are gaining speed
and you're gaining confidence.
The fact that you're delegating to Kori
demonstrates a lot of trust that you are building.
The fact that Terri is ready
to let her start making decisions
about her stuff independently is a really good sign.
- I'm gonna talk to my team, see where they're at.
Kori, if you can meet them in your mother's room.
- Okay. - [Cory] And granddaughters,
you guys can go in your mom's old room
and we will get started, sound good?
- Okay.
- [Cory] All right. - [Dr. Zasio] All right.
(intense music) (objects clattering)
- This goes to the pergola.
No, this one was grandma's.
- Okay, so keep sake?
- Yeah. - Storage?
- Yeah.
(tape pulling)
(glass clattering)
Stay back.
- [Kori] Oh, geez.
- [Cory] Let me clear a path.
We're kind of bottlenecked in here.
- [Zaria] Yeah.
(dramatic music) (objects clattering)
- You're getting down to the bottom,
where you're gonna have the rodent issue again.
- [Kori] Yeah.
(gentle music)
- [Cory] Terri's room is a complete disaster.
There's actual dead rodents,
a lot of rodent waste, and cat waste everywhere.
It's within her bed.
It's within all of the contents in this room.
- Wow.
- Peel that bed spread with all the hair and stuff.
Peel that back right there,
just a little bit so I can see underneath.
- [Kori] Oh my God.
- [Cory] See, so she can't sleep on this.
I mean, who knows what the mattress is like, but.
- [Kori] Right.
- Well, you can see, I mean, the urine right there.
- Look at the curtains.
There's like, matted hair stuck in the curtains itself.
- It looks like a smashed rat, doesn't it?
- This is just yet another conversation
we have to have with her. - Yeah.
- To show her.
- Wasn't she saying that she wanted to keep this bedding?
- Well, I think ideally, she thought she wanted to keep it.
- [Dr. Zasio] Right.
- Where's that thing where the mice were living?
Yeah, like look, I mean,
they're just chewing bedding out of there
and taking it who knows where.
So this place is just full of them
and I really don't want to save anything fabric for sure.
- [Dr. Zasio] Mm-mm.
- You know, but then you can see on the air conditioner,
there's cat waste.
- I know, I can see that going down.
- [Cory] And we're finding a lot of that stuff.
(dramatic music)
We are seeing the extensive damage caused by the cats
and the rodents.
So at this point, we need to have a talk with Terri,
bring her in and show her this damage,
and hopefully she'll agree that it can all go.
(dramatic music)
(objects clattering)
- [Dr. Zasio] As we move through the house,
we're seeing rodent waste and urine everywhere, everywhere.
It has essentially damaged every item in that bedroom.
- Hey Terri, what's your thought just walking in here?
The first visual.
- Did not realize it would be this awful.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah.
- [Cory] So you understand our kind of reasoning
for why we're saying a lot of this
is just getting thrown away.
We peeled the blankets back
and you can see all the waste in there.
- [Kori] So all this is gonna have to go, mom.
- Yeah.
- And the mattress and box spring, we'll determine
once we can see it, they might be living in there too.
- Could very well be.
- [Cory] Okay, there's not much at this point
that we want to save, especially the fabric stuff.
- Oh, yeah. - [Cory] And the soft goods.
- Yeah.
- There won't be a lot left that you thought,
like, you were gonna have a bed.
This is again, the side effect
of not being able to come into a room for a long time.
- Yeah.
- The rodents just kind of take it over underneath.
Are you mad? Are you-
- At myself? Yeah. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You're mad at yourself.
Let this help you moving forward making decisions,
because if there's too much stuff,
it's gonna be the same problem.
There's gonna be hiding spots and living places.
- Yeah, there won't be.
- Okay, good, I like that.
- Cory and his team have permission
to get rid of anything in here-
- Yeah, anything they need to.
- Anything they need to, okay.
- [Cory] She seems bothered by this.
- I think that that's a healthy response.
One, that she's disgusted by it.
Two, that she doesn't wanna look at it.
I don't think it's avoidance.
I think it's just like this is the reality
and she's angry at herself for letting this happen
and that's a healthy response.
This is a watershed moment because Terri is now seeing
the extent of the destruction that's happened.
She's angry with herself.
She recognizes that she does need to make
a sweeping decision to let everything go.
- The best thing we did was bring her in here.
I think it sank in.
I do, and I hope out there she makes some better decisions,
'cause she really seemed bothered by this.
(tense music)
- Hi, Terri.
- Hello. - Hello.
Sorting through some stuff?
- Yeah, figured I'd better keep moving if we're gonna.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah.
- That's what we're here to talk about actually.
So we're just here to kind of address
all of this stuff, mainly, the keep stuff.
It's the afternoon of day three and we're realizing
how many boxes we have that she wants to save.
Our fear is that all these boxes are just gonna get shoved
into a room or into the garage
and she'll never even be able to access 'em.
So we're trying to get her to let go.
My only concern is where all this stuff is gonna go.
All together, you have about 70 boxes that are full,
not including all this sorting area.
We're pushing extra hard right now
because it's the last afternoon
where we can really have some work done.
If there's anything you can let go of
or thin out even more than you have,
that's what we're asking.
- The amount of glass that you have, are you holding onto it
because you wanna pass it down generation to generation?
Your house isn't big enough to display it all, we know that.
- I know.
- Movies, mom, what movies are you actually gonna watch?
- Well, the ones that were in that container
next to the chair that's been dumped somewhere.
- Well, I'm just saying, go through the movies,
see which movies you're gonna watch,
which ones you really don't wanna keep.
- [Terri] I did that.
- Do you think we're talking reasonable
or do you think it doesn't make sense what we're saying?
And that's really important.
If you don't think that we're being reasonable,
then we wanna hear that.
- Like I told one of the girls,
this is hard because this is my whole life
and you're going through it and trashing it.
- We are not doing anything,
you're telling us what to do, Terri.
I think that some of Terri's blaming us
for the things that have gone in the dumpster
is a way for her to not take responsibility.
It's a way to be angry at us
rather than deal with the feelings
of what has led to this problem,
which is her excessive accumulation of stuff.
- Okay, I'm telling you to get rid of it.
- Terri, you're not meaning what you're telling us.
You're not talking through a solution with us.
You're just giving in, knowing what we want
and saying what we want, and so that's the concern for us,
is that we do this and we're just traumatizing you
and that's not what we're here to do.
- Cory, I feel like at this point, Terri's not ready.
This was a big deal for her in the first place.
She has gotten rid of two full dumpsters.
There's been a lot of loss with her bedroom and her stuff,
and you're saying, Terri, that this is your whole life.
(tense music)
- In that case, do you want us to fill the garage?
Because it might rain. - Or Kori's room.
Which do you think would keep it safer?
- Garage. - [Cory] Okay.
Sounds good, thank you.
(tense music)
We're gonna be literally filling up her garage
with dozens and dozens of boxes.
She's not gonna be able to open 'em or look at 'em
because they're gonna be stacked high
and they're gonna be stacked deep.
So what's the point of keeping 'em?
It's just like before.
(intense music)
- Can you hold that for me?
- [Kori] Mm-hmm. Do you need help?
- No, I got it, I think.
(dramatic music)
(furniture clattering)
- God, look at those rodent droppings, that's disgusting.
(tense music)
- [Dr. Zasio] Today was very intense and it was a long day.
I'm hoping that tonight, Terri will think
about the decisions she did make
and take responsibility for that.
(tense music) (objects clattering)
We have one final push tomorrow.
I'm hoping that with the remaining items
she needs to sort through,
that she'll be able to increase her decision making
with regard to what to get rid of.
(suspenseful music)
(wind wooshing)
(shovel scraping)
- [Cory] So it's the start of the final day
and this is a big day, there's a lot to do.
I need to get a little morning meeting, talk to Terri
and just kinda outline things that we have to get done.
Kori, Annika and Zaria,
I need all of you guys at the sorting tables, okay?
There's a couple tables left of stuff.
Box it up, send it somewhere.
Unless there's something really important.
I'd rather not bring anything back in.
Our guys are gonna come in, the maids are gonna come in.
We're gonna start getting rid of this carpet.
Carpet in the hall, carpet in your bedroom,
and just kind of getting everything cleaned and emptied.
So if you guys are good with that, I say, let's go.
- Okay.
- All right, anything you want?
- How did you sleep last night, any better?
- I blinked twice, that was good.
- So what was on your mind last night?
- Everything.
The extent that everybody's gone to, to help me out.
I feel like I'll never be able to repay
all the effort everybody's put into it
and I very much appreciate it.
- [Cory] Thank you.
- But for someone who's paved their own way
all of their life, this isn't an easy thing to accept, so.
- Can I just say that is the first time
you've explained anything
and it helps us understand what you're going through.
So thank you for sharing that and I know that's hard.
- That has repaid us, a hundred percent.
Just expressing your gratitude and appreciation
means the world to us, so I just wanna let you know.
- [Kori] Proud of you, mom.
- Thank you.
- And thank you for letting me get them here.
- It was such a breakthrough
to hear her gratitude when all week,
it seems like she's been doing nothing but blaming us
for all the things that she thinks we're doing wrong.
So this is a great sign
because I know we're on the home stretch.
- They're waiting outside to get in here and start cleaning.
- [Both] Let's go.
(suspenseful music)
- It can go.
That can go. - Okay.
- [Terri] No. (glass clinking)
- So we're down to the final crunch here
and we have all kinds of things going on in this house.
(suspenseful music) (carpet ripping)
We have my guys tearing up carpet.
We have a plumber in the bathroom putting a toilet in.
The HVAC people are here right now.
They're checking all the systems in the furnace,
which seems to be just an igniter problem,
which is pretty easy to fix.
There it is.
(dramatic music) (objects clattering)
The maids are here, mopping and cleaning everything.
This couldn't be more chaotic.
All these people in the house
doing all the last minute details.
Putting out all the glassware
and flowers and setting things up.
(dramatic music)
(gentle music)
(door creaking)
Welcome home. - [Dr. Zasio] Hello!
- Wow! - Come on in to your home.
- That's nice.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah.
(gentle music)
- [Cory] What do you think,
opening your front door and seeing furniture?
- [Terri] Oh, I love it, I love it.
- [Dr. Zasio] You got a smile on your face there.
Look at your beautiful glassware.
You've stepped out of the hoarding
and you're now actually embracing
the collector part of you.
It looks beautiful.
- [Terri] Yeah. - [Kori] Awesome.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah!
- [Terri] Oh, wow.
(gentle piano music)
- A pretty dramatic difference from where we started.
- Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
- [Cory] Yes, that ammonia smell is almost gone.
I can only smell cleaning solutions now.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. - Yeah.
- [Cory] What a dramatic difference,
just getting all that carpet, that saturated carpet out
really took out 90% of that odor.
- [Dr. Zasio] You do have a table,
where you can have a guest over.
You can have your father over, your granddaughters, Kori,
whoever you want.
It's a safe kitchen, it's a clean kitchen.
Everything is here now
for you to decide if you wanna cook here
or go to dad's house.
- Yep. That would be nice.
- You wanna go see the rest? - [Terri] Yeah.
- There's more. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Cory] Bathroom.
(gentle music)
- [Terri] Look at that.
- [Cory] So the plumbing is fixed in here.
You can bathe, you can shower, you can use the toilet.
I'll turn the water on before I leave.
- Yeah, nice.
- All right, you ready to see more?
- [Terri] Mm-hmm, yes. - All right.
- [Terri] Hi, babies.
- [Cory] We built you just a little craft area
to get started. - Yeah.
- [Cory] Where you can do your arts and painting
and crocheting and whatever else interests you
so that you have something to be passionate about again.
- Mm-hmm.
I feel better when I'm creating something.
- Yeah.
- And then I think the final thing
that we just wanna mention
is that there is a place for your dad if need be,
and that's pretty important.
- Yes, it is. - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah.
- Yeah, we couldn't change this room too much
because of that. - Yeah.
- You ready to see the last room and my favorite room?
(Dr. Zasio laughs)
Good, let's go look at your bedroom.
(light music)
- Oh, wow. (Dr. Zasio laughs)
I love it.
- [Cory] That's the biggest smile I've seen all week.
- I love it. - [Cory] Do you?
- Yeah! - [Cory] Good.
- Yeah, this would be something I absolutely would pick.
Yeah, I would definitely pick that.
- I'm glad you like it.
- This, I love it.
- [Cory] So glad to hear that. - Yeah.
- She just seems happy and I'm happy that she's happy.
- Looks like it used to.
- [Terri] Yeah. - So will you sleep here?
No more couch?
- No more couch. - Okay.
- Awesome, amazing.
Mom gets to sleep in her bed.
- [Dr. Zasio] Yeah.
- [Kori] All the sacrifices over the last week
that my family and I have made have definitely been worth it
to see my mom where she's at right now.
- It's been a long week, right?
I just wanna acknowledge that everyone worked through
all the difficulties, okay.
Lot of struggles emotionally, physically,
but you made it.
I've seen you smile more in the last 20 minutes
than I have all week.
So I know inside, there's some happiness,
which is so important to recognize.
But you did it and here we are.
We got past not only the clutter,
so if you had to get your roof done and you had
an inspection, that's not gonna be an issue now.
Would you have any trouble letting someone
in your house now to do an inspection?
- No.
- Right, we got your heater fixed.
We got the gas turned on.
So no more space heaters, you don't need those anymore.
If your father needs to come, his room is there,
it's decluttered, ready for him.
And all the crises are solved.
It's really a normal house again.
So congratulations to you for getting us here.
- Something that I really wanna capitalize on
is the concept of communication, and you increased
the communication as the days continued.
In the topic of communication,
Kori, this was the letter that you wrote to your mom,
and I wanna give this back to you because if there's a time
in which the communication begins to start
to break down a little bit,
I want you to go back to this letter,
which reflects the relationship that you want with your mother,
and I don't know where your letter is.
I'm hoping you put it somewhere nice and safe
and that kind of thing. - I have it.
- You have it, awesome!
So I'm gonna give this back to you
and just really wanna send you with the reminder
that we only have one go around,
and this is your only daughter,
and this is your only mother.
What matters is what is happening right here,
and that's the two of you standing in your home
without the stuff separating you.
Not only has there been a transformation in Terri,
but there's been one in Kori too.
There is so much less tension between Kori and Terri.
You can just see it.
- This has been a good start for my daughter and I
to start rebuilding the relationship we had
when she was in grade school.
So as long as she's willing to work on it,
I certainly am too.
Bring it in. - It's the cuddle train.
- [Zaria] Bring it in.
- [Terri] Okay, we're done. (everyone laughing)
(dramatic music)