1 00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:07,500 (intense music) 2 00:00:07,583 --> 00:00:08,875 - I'm a collector. 3 00:00:08,958 --> 00:00:10,167 - She is struggling. 4 00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,000 - It was never like this. 5 00:00:12,042 --> 00:00:13,542 (dramatic music) 6 00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,875 - We are just finding a lot of rodent waste. 7 00:00:15,958 --> 00:00:18,375 - This shouldn't have anything micey. 8 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:21,458 - [Kori] My mom's not gonna talk to me when this is over. 9 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,917 - I've definitely seen some moments of agitation. 10 00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:27,000 - You have so much crap in there like this. 11 00:00:27,042 --> 00:00:28,458 - Get rid of the whole (beep) thing then. 12 00:00:28,542 --> 00:00:29,417 - You don't need it. 13 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:30,708 (dramatic music) 14 00:00:30,792 --> 00:00:33,250 - It's very uncomfortable and she does not like it. 15 00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:35,583 - This is my whole life and you're going through it 16 00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:37,000 and trashing it. 17 00:00:37,042 --> 00:00:39,583 - She's viewing us as an adversary. 18 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,000 - Why don't you just... 19 00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:44,125 - [Dr. Zasio] Wow. 20 00:00:45,542 --> 00:00:48,500 You can do this on your own, we can pack up and leave. 21 00:00:48,542 --> 00:00:51,000 (dramatic music) 22 00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:07,708 (pensive music) 23 00:01:22,542 --> 00:01:24,583 (gentle music) 24 00:01:27,792 --> 00:01:30,167 (wind chimes jingling) 25 00:01:31,042 --> 00:01:32,667 (sharp string tone) 26 00:01:35,875 --> 00:01:37,167 (Terri sighing) 27 00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:41,708 - My name is Terri, I'm a retired hospital employee. 28 00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:44,667 I have one daughter 29 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:49,708 and three granddaughters and one great-granddaughter. 30 00:01:53,042 --> 00:01:55,208 I've lived in this house 48 years 31 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:01,458 and it certainly looks like I never threw anything away 32 00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:04,000 in 48 years. 33 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:06,417 (dramatic music) 34 00:02:07,792 --> 00:02:12,375 Things are far too cluttered, far too messed up, 35 00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:14,208 too much of everything. 36 00:02:14,208 --> 00:02:16,833 ("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" playing) 37 00:02:16,917 --> 00:02:18,208 I'm a collector. 38 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,500 I have Christmas things. 39 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:23,417 I had Father Christmases and Nutcrackers. 40 00:02:26,542 --> 00:02:29,792 I used to do a lot of decorating for Christmas. 41 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:39,292 I have a lot of glassware, fairy lamps, oil lamps, 42 00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:43,542 stained glass lamps, just glass in general. 43 00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:48,250 That's my big downfall. 44 00:02:52,458 --> 00:02:54,583 - I'm Kori and Terri is my mom. 45 00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:59,417 She says she's a collector, I say she's a hoarder. 46 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:04,333 There is so much that she has collected. 47 00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:07,000 There's been a lot of pointless purchases. 48 00:03:07,042 --> 00:03:08,250 Stuff that she has picked up 49 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:11,750 from rummage sales, estate sales. 50 00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:14,417 It is very overwhelming. 51 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,500 - I'm Zaria and Terri is my grandma. 52 00:03:20,042 --> 00:03:22,333 My grandmother is a hoarder. 53 00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:25,583 She thinks she's a collector, but she's not, she's hoarding. 54 00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:29,500 Some China stuff, random like, cutlery. 55 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,667 She also has like, a bunch of clothes lying around 56 00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:33,958 that she bought 'cause she thought she would wear 57 00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:35,375 but never ended up wearing. 58 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,375 - Her bathroom is full of clothes 59 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:43,375 so she can't use the shower. 60 00:03:43,458 --> 00:03:46,958 I'm not sure exactly what's going on with the plumbing, 61 00:03:48,042 --> 00:03:51,958 so I'm not sure how much of the bathroom is even usable. 62 00:03:52,042 --> 00:03:54,208 There's no access to the kitchen. 63 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000 There's too much stuff piled up, 64 00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,958 you can't see the counters, 65 00:04:00,042 --> 00:04:02,583 you can't get to dishes, you can't get to the stove. 66 00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:09,500 There's no floor, there's no walkway, 67 00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:12,542 there's no place for her to sleep. 68 00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:19,083 She sleeps on the couch. 69 00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:21,458 (tense music) 70 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:27,833 - I had started to muck out the bedroom 71 00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:30,625 and that didn't get completed. 72 00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:35,583 So now I fall asleep on the couch watching TV with my cats. 73 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:38,250 Up on the couch if you think you're getting some. 74 00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:43,583 (tense music) 75 00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:51,708 - I'm Annika and I am Terri's granddaughter. 76 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,000 My first memories of my grandma's house 77 00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:58,167 were her whole house was super clean. 78 00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:00,875 There was nothing on the floor ever. 79 00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:02,792 She used to clean up everything. 80 00:05:03,833 --> 00:05:06,292 - Growing up, the house was always clean. 81 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:07,917 My room was a disaster, 82 00:05:07,917 --> 00:05:11,042 but the rest of the house was always clean. 83 00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:12,833 Dishes were always done. 84 00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:17,125 If I was sick from school, it was my job to clean the house. 85 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,875 (dramatic music) 86 00:05:25,417 --> 00:05:27,625 - The collecting was pretty much under control 87 00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:34,333 until I had cancer and after the chemo, 88 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,833 the chemo losses up a lot of things. 89 00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,625 It gives you chemo brain, 90 00:05:39,875 --> 00:05:42,125 it losses up your nerves and your legs, 91 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,917 your back, everything. 92 00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:52,042 I would buy things and a week later look at 'em and go, 93 00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,792 "What was I thinking?" 94 00:05:54,958 --> 00:05:56,500 Obviously I wasn't, 95 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:58,417 and then it was getting under control again 96 00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:02,333 until COVID in 2020. 97 00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:05,792 A month after I retired, I came down with it. 98 00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:09,750 So then I ended up with COVID brain and the nasty headaches 99 00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:11,958 and when I did start weeding things out, 100 00:06:12,042 --> 00:06:16,583 I didn't have the physical energy to continue it. 101 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:20,333 (pensive music) 102 00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:25,375 (plastic rustling) 103 00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:27,958 - [Kori] My mom has a lot of emotional things 104 00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:31,875 that she's held on to for a very long time. 105 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,000 My mom was an EMT for, I don't know how many years 106 00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:38,875 and I don't know how many times 107 00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:42,917 I heard about the people she had to pull out of cars 108 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:48,792 and the brain matter that was laying on the pavement 109 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:54,500 from a motorcycle accident or the little kids that got hurt. 110 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:59,042 You can't do that job 111 00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:02,583 and not have some emotional attachment somewhere. 112 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,542 - Be good, girl. 113 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:09,125 I have been through so much in this life. 114 00:07:10,542 --> 00:07:12,667 I got married straight outta high school, 115 00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:15,042 two weeks after graduation. 116 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:21,208 My husband turned into a severe alcoholic and abusive man. 117 00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:23,333 After three years of that, 118 00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:30,625 I decided it was not worth it to be married. 119 00:07:30,875 --> 00:07:33,417 I got a divorce and raised my daughter on my own. 120 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:39,583 - I grew up with a father who, it was nothing 121 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,292 for him to call at two o'clock in the morning 122 00:07:42,292 --> 00:07:43,750 when he was drunk. 123 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:46,333 Tell my mom how much he loved her 124 00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:47,792 and this, that, and the other thing. 125 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:51,250 When he was completely annihilated 126 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,500 and then in the next breath 127 00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,667 would threaten her, he was gonna kill her. 128 00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:03,042 - I was afraid of him because he did qualify marksman 129 00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:06,792 in the Marine Corps and I know he had multiple weapons. 130 00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,458 I think everything that I went through with my husband, 131 00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:13,625 I purchased these things and stuck 'em away 132 00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:17,583 because I deserved them for what I went through with him. 133 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,458 (somber music) 134 00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:32,375 - [Kori] There's been conflict between my mother and I. 135 00:08:32,458 --> 00:08:35,500 This conflict started when I was a teenager 136 00:08:35,542 --> 00:08:38,000 and I gave my mom a lot of grief. 137 00:08:38,042 --> 00:08:40,833 - [Terri] I think she was mostly mad at her father 138 00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:42,958 and had nobody to take it out on. 139 00:08:43,042 --> 00:08:44,500 I really think it was her lashing out 140 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,750 because her dad didn't give a damn. 141 00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,167 - [Zaria] My grandma and my mom 142 00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:52,333 don't really get along that well. 143 00:08:52,417 --> 00:08:54,500 I believe it's 'cause they're too alike. 144 00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,792 personality wise. 145 00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:59,708 - [Kori] We come from a long line of stubborn people. 146 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:04,625 So when we get set in our head something, 147 00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:07,000 we pretty much stay there. 148 00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:08,792 - [Terri] If I say one thing, she'll say another, 149 00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:12,500 from politics to what color the sky is. 150 00:09:12,542 --> 00:09:14,333 There are days I just walk away and say, 151 00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:18,875 "Whatever, see you next time, bye." 152 00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:26,625 - [Kori] We don't talk much, like very rarely do we talk. 153 00:09:28,042 --> 00:09:30,792 There are are communication issues between her and I 154 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,667 that have been there for a while. 155 00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:38,292 Seven years ago, I tried to help her clean out her basement. 156 00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:41,542 After about an hour, she got mad at me, 157 00:09:41,542 --> 00:09:43,875 told me to leave, kicked me outta the house. 158 00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:48,583 And then from that point on until 159 00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:51,167 about three or four months ago, 160 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,250 she did not let me in the house. 161 00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,875 She has been very secretive 162 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,708 about the condition of the house. 163 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:03,042 As far as anybody on the outside goes, 164 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:07,500 there is definitely an embarrassment issue there 165 00:10:07,625 --> 00:10:11,083 and she did not want the whole world to know 166 00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:14,167 how bad it had gotten. 167 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,958 (dramatic music) 168 00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:32,000 She needs to have the roof replaced. 169 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,125 In order to get the roof replaced, 170 00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:38,042 she needs to get a loan, in order to get the loan, 171 00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:40,750 she needs to have an inspection done, 172 00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:46,417 which in turn would cause being reported 173 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,417 for the code violations. 174 00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:52,500 They would end up condemning the house. 175 00:10:52,542 --> 00:10:56,667 - [Annika] If the house remains as it is, 176 00:10:56,750 --> 00:11:01,667 I'm worried my grandma is gonna hurt herself. 177 00:11:03,208 --> 00:11:04,208 - Oops, sit down. 178 00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:06,000 - [Annika] She doesn't walk very well, 179 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,167 in general, she's got bad knees. 180 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,667 If my grandma were to trip over something in the house, 181 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:15,625 she has nobody to come help her. 182 00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,875 - [Zaria] I worry about her falling somewhere, 183 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,292 especially at nighttime if she's walking through her hallway 184 00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:23,792 and if there's a fire, 185 00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:25,833 she wouldn't really be able to get out quick enough. 186 00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:28,042 - [Kori] To look at the house now, 187 00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:30,792 it is nothing but a huge fire hazard 188 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,417 and anything could set that off. 189 00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:37,833 The cleanup needs to be done 190 00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:41,333 so my mother doesn't set the house on fire and die in it. 191 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,333 (tense music) 192 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,208 (dramatic music) 193 00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:12,417 - My mom can barely walk. 194 00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,833 She needs her knees replaced. 195 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:19,500 She has health conditions that, honestly, 196 00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:23,000 if she were to ever need to call 911, 197 00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:27,333 at this point, they'd never be able to get in to get her. 198 00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:29,708 (tense music) 199 00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:42,125 (door knocking) 200 00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,042 - [Dr. Zasio] Hello. - Hello, there. 201 00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:47,375 - [Dr. Zasio] Hi, Terri? - Yes. 202 00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:48,500 - Hi, I'm Dr. Zasio. 203 00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:49,792 - Hello, come on in. 204 00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:51,958 - [Dr. Zasio] Thank you very much. 205 00:12:52,042 --> 00:12:54,875 I'm Dr. Robin Zasio, I'm a licensed clinical psychologist 206 00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,167 and I specialize in helping people 207 00:12:57,208 --> 00:12:59,000 struggling with hoarding disorder. 208 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:00,917 So Terri, the place I wanna start 209 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:05,500 is by asking you how you're feeling about my being here. 210 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,292 - I expect condemning and humiliation 211 00:13:08,375 --> 00:13:13,417 and snide remarks because of all of this. 212 00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:17,375 - Is that what you've gotten from other people? 213 00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:20,542 - That's because I haven't allowed people in the house, 214 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,333 but through other areas of my life. 215 00:13:23,375 --> 00:13:26,333 - Okay, okay, and so when was the last time 216 00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:28,417 somebody was in your house other than you? 217 00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,833 - My daughter and her daughters a few weeks ago. 218 00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:34,917 My daughter started on me right away 219 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,167 and she had gotten me so angry 220 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,292 that I went out back and sat and said, 221 00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:42,667 "Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore." 222 00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,667 - Yeah, yeah. 223 00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:46,292 Fear of judgment and condemnation 224 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:49,667 is a very common trait that individuals have 225 00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:51,792 who are struggling with hoarding behaviors. 226 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,167 I feel like it's really important 227 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:59,333 that Terri understand that I understand she is struggling. 228 00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:02,833 We get that you're having trouble 229 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,958 and that's why we're here, right? 230 00:14:05,042 --> 00:14:09,375 The second thing is, there is absolutely no judgment on you. 231 00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:11,458 This happened for a reason. 232 00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:13,333 I'm here to help uncover 233 00:14:13,375 --> 00:14:17,417 how your house got to this kind of shape, okay? 234 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,417 And to try to figure out how we can prevent it 235 00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:20,958 from happening in the future. 236 00:14:21,958 --> 00:14:24,625 The stuff that I see around, 237 00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,208 there's definitely a bit of a mixture. 238 00:14:26,292 --> 00:14:28,458 I see some food, some clothing, 239 00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:31,625 containers, supplies, that sort of thing. 240 00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:34,292 What does shopping do for you? 241 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:40,792 - It reinforces this little voice that says I deserve it. 242 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,583 - Okay, what do you feel in that moment? 243 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,375 So we feel good when we acquire, 244 00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:48,000 but then when you come home, what are you feeling? 245 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:51,042 - Disgusted with myself because I'm adding to the mess. 246 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:53,167 - Interesting, okay. 247 00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:55,750 I think there's some self-esteem issues with Terri. 248 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:57,500 I'm thinking, how could there not be? 249 00:14:57,583 --> 00:15:01,708 Because living under these conditions does not demonstrate 250 00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:04,500 that somebody truly cares about themself 251 00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:07,000 and their environment that they're living in. 252 00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,833 How long has this issue been going on? 253 00:15:11,917 --> 00:15:14,167 - When I was going through chemo, 254 00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:17,167 the chemo brain started to kick in 255 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,625 and things got a little outta hand. 256 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:24,917 And as I recovered from that, things were getting better 257 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:29,167 and then I ended up with a nasty case of COVID. 258 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:33,875 So then it was, you didn't have the energy, 259 00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:37,042 the headaches and the constant body aches 260 00:15:37,125 --> 00:15:40,167 and you just didn't do anything. 261 00:15:40,208 --> 00:15:41,667 - The effects of the chemo, 262 00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:44,208 have those subsided at this point? 263 00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:47,458 - No, I ended up with severe neuropathy from the chemo 264 00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:51,000 and it's damaged my legs and my back. 265 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,583 - So, that's a big contributor 266 00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:56,208 to your ability to get this place in order, okay. 267 00:15:56,292 --> 00:15:58,500 She struggles with thinking clearly. 268 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:02,292 She has neuropathy, she has trouble walking, 269 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,417 and you can barely even walk in there. 270 00:16:05,417 --> 00:16:07,292 I'm really concerned 271 00:16:07,375 --> 00:16:10,958 about Terri continuing to live in this environment 272 00:16:11,042 --> 00:16:13,208 and what this means for her health. 273 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:16,833 So this is your bedroom? 274 00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:18,542 - Yes. - Is this where you sleep? 275 00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:20,250 - [Terri] No, I've been sleeping on the couch 276 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:26,542 because I fall asleep quicker and better if I'm watching TV. 277 00:16:26,625 --> 00:16:28,167 - Okay. 278 00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:31,667 Is the goal to get back into sleeping in this room again? 279 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,167 - [Terri] Oh, absolutely. 280 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:37,000 I eventually, if necessary, I'd like my dad to move in. 281 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,458 He's 90, you know the legs aren't as steady, 282 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:43,625 and he's a little forgetful sometimes, and so I'm like, 283 00:16:43,708 --> 00:16:46,458 I told my sister, he's not going to a nursing home. 284 00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:48,667 - Okay, so let's talk about this room. 285 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,708 We can't really get in there. 286 00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:54,708 It looks pretty packed, a little more than this room. 287 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:55,958 - [Terri] Yeah. 288 00:16:56,042 --> 00:16:57,375 It is. 289 00:16:57,458 --> 00:17:00,000 A lot of the furniture is antique. 290 00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:03,708 - And I see a sink faucet, bathroom here? 291 00:17:03,792 --> 00:17:04,708 - Yeah. 292 00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,333 - [Dr. Zasio] Can I take a quick peek in here? 293 00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:13,417 I see a trash bag in the toilet. 294 00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:15,000 No plumbing? 295 00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:16,833 - The bowl cracked so it leaks. 296 00:17:16,917 --> 00:17:18,042 - Okay. 297 00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:22,000 This is a situation with a whole host of crises 298 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:25,167 that need to be resolved immediately. 299 00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:28,333 We need to figure out how to get the appliances fixed. 300 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,333 We need to get the house cleared. 301 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:36,208 All of these factors are things that we have to get in order 302 00:17:36,292 --> 00:17:38,292 for this house to be safe and livable. 303 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,250 All right, we can pretty much just hold up here. 304 00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:44,208 Living room, right? - Yep. 305 00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:48,333 - What do you foresee is the percentage of things 306 00:17:48,417 --> 00:17:51,417 that you need to get rid of in this home to make it livable? 307 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,875 - At least 50. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 308 00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:56,000 - [Terri] At least. 309 00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:57,833 - I think you're gonna have to shoot 310 00:17:57,875 --> 00:18:01,833 for closer to 70 to make it livable. 311 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:03,625 Livable means, I wanna come home. 312 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,500 I wanna have people over, I love my house. 313 00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:08,375 I enjoy being here. 314 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:10,708 - I have never really loved this house 315 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:17,042 because my ex was an abusive drunk 316 00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:21,833 and I've probably gotten the snot knocked out of me 317 00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:23,208 in every room. 318 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:29,542 So while I like it, it's my home, I've never loved it. 319 00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:31,500 - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 320 00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:32,625 I'm sorry. 321 00:18:33,917 --> 00:18:35,000 How long were you married for? 322 00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,042 - Just three years, after that I decided 323 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:40,250 that I was more scared for my daughter. 324 00:18:41,292 --> 00:18:42,708 - [Dr. Zasio] And where is he now? 325 00:18:42,792 --> 00:18:44,000 - Dead. 326 00:18:44,167 --> 00:18:46,333 (Dr. Zasio exhales) (tense music) 327 00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,250 - It sounds like there is some relief. 328 00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:53,875 - Even after he got married for the fifth time, 329 00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:57,292 when he would get drunk, he would call me 330 00:18:57,375 --> 00:19:00,750 and go into his tirade and how he was gonna kill me, 331 00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:05,000 and he qualified as marksman in the Marine Corps. 332 00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:09,000 So I was afraid to answer a ambulance call 333 00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:11,833 because I didn't wanna walk in my backyard in the dark. 334 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,208 - Okay. 335 00:19:13,292 --> 00:19:15,375 The problem with trauma is you can never forget 336 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:19,000 about the memories, but you can learn to deal with them. 337 00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:23,333 Even though she has a sense of hopelessness about this home. 338 00:19:23,458 --> 00:19:27,000 I'm trying to uplift Terri and let her know 339 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:29,833 that she can make good decisions. 340 00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:33,708 You met a man who was an abusive at the time 341 00:19:33,792 --> 00:19:37,833 and you left him, which was a good decision. 342 00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,167 - Yes, it was. 343 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:40,542 - [Dr. Zasio] For you and for your daughter. 344 00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:42,833 - Yes. - [Dr. Zasio] Good decision. 345 00:19:42,917 --> 00:19:45,333 You had the right to say, 346 00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:47,083 "I certainly don't want you coming in my house 347 00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:48,375 'cause I don't need judgment." 348 00:19:48,458 --> 00:19:51,833 However, you let me in, that's a good decision. 349 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,333 You made good decisions for you 350 00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:59,375 and I just wanna point that out, okay? 351 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,417 - Okay. - All right? 352 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:05,417 I wanna capitalize on the really good things about you. 353 00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:09,125 This is really gonna be a challenge to see what we can do 354 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,167 to not just make this home safe and livable, 355 00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:15,333 but a home that Terri is happy in. 356 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,500 She is going to need to create new memories 357 00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:23,167 so that she can have new experiences in this home, 358 00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:26,208 but she's gonna have to do the hard work 359 00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:29,208 and make the decisions to let go of the stuff. 360 00:20:43,458 --> 00:20:47,375 - This home has been fraught with painful memories. 361 00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:51,042 With creating a new, safe environment, 362 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,333 it will allow for her father to come in. 363 00:20:54,375 --> 00:20:57,917 It will allow for her daughter and her granddaughters 364 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:03,000 to come in and together, they can make new memories 365 00:21:03,083 --> 00:21:05,833 that hopefully will bring some joy 366 00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:09,375 and happiness to Terri's life in this home. 367 00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:14,500 I wanna take you outside because Cory, 368 00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:17,458 who's gonna head up the team of people 369 00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:19,667 who are gonna help you organize your stuff, 370 00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:21,292 he's here and he wants to talk with you 371 00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:23,333 and I think he wants to see your home as well. 372 00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,292 - Hm, okay. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 373 00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:29,292 (light music) (door creaking) 374 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,792 - [Dr. Zasio] Hello. - Hello, there. 375 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,542 - [Terri] Hi. - [Dr. Zasio] Hi, I'm Dr. Zasio. 376 00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:37,500 - Hi, Kori, I'm Terri's daughter. 377 00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:39,833 - Okay, all right. Well, welcome. 378 00:21:39,917 --> 00:21:42,292 - Hi Terri, I'm Cory also. 379 00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:44,583 I'm Cory Chalmers, an extreme cleaner 380 00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:47,083 specializing in biohazard and hoarding. 381 00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:49,750 I'm gonna walk through the house with Kori, Terri's daughter. 382 00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:51,417 She can help gimme a little bit of the background 383 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,917 on how it got this way. 384 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,333 I haven't seen it yet and I need to make a plan. 385 00:21:55,417 --> 00:21:56,833 So walking through the house is the first step 386 00:21:56,917 --> 00:21:59,833 for me in understanding the severity of this hoard. 387 00:21:59,917 --> 00:22:02,083 (tense music) 388 00:22:06,208 --> 00:22:08,000 Wow, this is a small kitchen. 389 00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:12,417 Feels even smaller because it's so full. 390 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:13,583 - Yes, it is. 391 00:22:16,708 --> 00:22:18,833 - [Cory] When was the last time you had a meal 392 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:20,000 in this kitchen? 393 00:22:21,333 --> 00:22:23,708 - Me personally, probably about 10 years ago. 394 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,667 - But you could cook in this kitchen 10 years ago? 395 00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:27,000 - Yeah. 396 00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:29,125 - So what do you think triggered it to get this bad 397 00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:30,708 in the last 10 years? 398 00:22:30,792 --> 00:22:33,208 - My younger years she spent as an EMT. 399 00:22:33,333 --> 00:22:36,250 So she's seeing more horrific things 400 00:22:36,375 --> 00:22:39,000 than most people should. - [Cory] Yeah. 401 00:22:39,083 --> 00:22:42,500 - [Kori] And to hold on to that, you never get rid of it. 402 00:22:43,542 --> 00:22:45,583 - But as an EMT, she also understands 403 00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,208 that like a mandated reporter, 404 00:22:47,292 --> 00:22:49,375 she knows you're not supposed to be living like this too. 405 00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:50,625 - Right. 406 00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:51,833 - So that'll work in our favor 407 00:22:51,958 --> 00:22:53,667 'cause we can kind of bring that up and say, 408 00:22:53,750 --> 00:22:56,208 "Look, if you were an EMT and you got called to this house, 409 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,542 one, how could you do your job? 410 00:22:58,542 --> 00:23:01,750 Two, what if you reported that person and why?" 411 00:23:04,542 --> 00:23:06,458 One thing that I do notice as soon as we walked in 412 00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:07,833 that I didn't mention, 413 00:23:07,917 --> 00:23:10,208 there is a very strong smell of ammonia in here. 414 00:23:10,333 --> 00:23:11,625 Very strong. 415 00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:13,917 The terrible cat ammonia odor in this house, 416 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,375 when you walk in, it just hits you like a wall. 417 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,500 I'm hoping that if we remove a lot of the contents 418 00:23:18,542 --> 00:23:21,167 that are saturated, a lot of that odor will go with it. 419 00:23:23,542 --> 00:23:25,958 I saw you point at that door when we walked in. 420 00:23:26,042 --> 00:23:27,958 - Basement is down there. 421 00:23:28,042 --> 00:23:29,333 - Okay, and it's full? 422 00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:30,500 - Full. 423 00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:33,000 (tense music) 424 00:23:33,042 --> 00:23:36,917 Its full of just, miscellaneous, random stuff. 425 00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:39,542 - Are the utilities down there, do you know? 426 00:23:39,542 --> 00:23:42,542 - Water heater's downstairs, furnace is downstairs. 427 00:23:42,625 --> 00:23:44,583 Main power box is downstairs. 428 00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,583 - And do all of her utilities work? 429 00:23:46,667 --> 00:23:48,667 - No. - [Cory] What's not working? 430 00:23:48,792 --> 00:23:52,333 - I don't think the furnace has worked in a couple of years. 431 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,167 - Okay, so that's gonna be a priority. 432 00:23:54,292 --> 00:23:55,542 It gets really cold here, 433 00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,708 so we have to make sure that she has heat. 434 00:23:59,167 --> 00:24:01,750 One of the unknowns in Terri's home is this basement 435 00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:04,667 that we hear is hoarded, it's inaccessible right now. 436 00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:07,167 Unfortunately, this basement is where we need to access 437 00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:09,000 to get the water heater, the furnace, 438 00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:10,500 and other things looked at 439 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:13,125 to see if we can even fix 'em before we leave. 440 00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:14,708 We'll just go to the end there 441 00:24:14,708 --> 00:24:16,875 and let's take a look at whatever rooms these are. 442 00:24:17,917 --> 00:24:19,917 Let's just start with this one, what is this room? 443 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,208 - This is my mom's room. 444 00:24:21,292 --> 00:24:22,417 - [Cory] And does she sleep in here? 445 00:24:22,542 --> 00:24:23,708 - [Kori] No. 446 00:24:23,792 --> 00:24:24,875 - [Cory] Where is she sleeping? 447 00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:26,667 - [Kori] She sleeps on the couch. 448 00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:28,875 - And how long has she been sleeping in the living room? 449 00:24:28,958 --> 00:24:32,000 - I don't think she slept in her room in years. 450 00:24:32,083 --> 00:24:33,250 - Because of the clutter? 451 00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:34,875 - Yeah. - [Cory] Okay. 452 00:24:35,917 --> 00:24:37,750 There's a lot of stuff for sure. 453 00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:47,583 - [Kori] I don't know how it got this bad, I feel sad. 454 00:24:47,667 --> 00:24:52,167 Very disheartened by the overwhelming amount of stuff 455 00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:53,917 that's in that house. 456 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,125 - [Cory] All right, and what is this room behind you? 457 00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:58,917 - [Kori] This is the bathroom. 458 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,500 - Oh yes, it is. 459 00:25:03,417 --> 00:25:05,167 So she obviously doesn't shower here 460 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:07,917 'cause it's completely full, so where is she cleaning up? 461 00:25:08,042 --> 00:25:09,083 - I don't know. 462 00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:13,542 - And the toilet is wrapped in plastic, do you know why? 463 00:25:13,625 --> 00:25:15,625 - [Kori] I have absolutely no idea. 464 00:25:17,292 --> 00:25:18,917 - [Cory] If I can get in here. 465 00:25:24,167 --> 00:25:27,792 It's working, but only 'cause there's a bag in there. 466 00:25:30,333 --> 00:25:32,625 So she's just going in that bag, 467 00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:37,042 and then taking that bag out somewhere, I guess. 468 00:25:38,958 --> 00:25:40,667 So this complicates things a bit. 469 00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:42,833 As part of the cleanup, we need to replace this toilet 470 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,375 as long as the plumbing's working 471 00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:45,667 so that she has a functional toilet 472 00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:47,208 to work with after we leave. 473 00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:50,333 So we need to find out what she's doing with the bags 474 00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:51,958 and what's wrong with the toilet. 475 00:25:53,417 --> 00:25:55,333 - That part, I did not know. 476 00:25:55,458 --> 00:25:59,000 - All right, so, there's the front door. 477 00:26:00,042 --> 00:26:01,833 That's gonna be like, our first priority, 478 00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:04,000 getting that door open. 479 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,167 One of my concerns for Terri's health in this home 480 00:26:06,292 --> 00:26:07,500 is ingress and egress. 481 00:26:07,583 --> 00:26:09,083 She has blocked doors, blocked windows. 482 00:26:09,208 --> 00:26:11,667 Really the only way out is that rear door. 483 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:12,875 If there was a fire 484 00:26:13,042 --> 00:26:14,667 or if rescue workers needed to get in there 485 00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:17,458 to care for her, they couldn't. 486 00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:18,792 Is that her only heat source right now? 487 00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:19,833 Is that space heater? 488 00:26:19,917 --> 00:26:21,750 - That would be my guess, yes. 489 00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:23,875 - [Cory] Do you have any idea why it's taped like that? 490 00:26:24,042 --> 00:26:25,583 - [Kori] I have absolutely no idea. 491 00:26:25,583 --> 00:26:27,792 - I hate space heaters in hoarded homes. 492 00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:30,208 - [Kori] Well, I was gonna say she shouldn't have it in here. 493 00:26:30,292 --> 00:26:31,292 - Yeah. 494 00:26:31,375 --> 00:26:32,500 Space heaters cause fires 495 00:26:32,583 --> 00:26:34,042 all across the country in normal homes. 496 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:36,167 But you put them in mixed in with all this clutter, 497 00:26:36,250 --> 00:26:39,500 it's a very dangerous situation that I hate seeing. 498 00:26:39,542 --> 00:26:41,208 Okay, so this is where she's sleeping? 499 00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:42,125 - [Kori] Yep. 500 00:26:44,042 --> 00:26:46,000 - [Cory] I mean, how does that make you feel looking at that? 501 00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:51,000 It's kinda sad. - Very sad. 502 00:26:52,042 --> 00:26:53,500 - She's got a lot of health problems 503 00:26:53,583 --> 00:26:55,750 and she should be in her bed. 504 00:26:55,833 --> 00:26:58,333 She should be in her big, huge bed in her room, 505 00:26:58,458 --> 00:26:59,583 very comfortable. 506 00:26:59,708 --> 00:27:01,750 - I told her she was worth more than this 507 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:03,625 and she deserved better. 508 00:27:03,708 --> 00:27:07,000 - Absolutely, she certainly does. 509 00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:10,625 No one should be living like this and that's why we're here. 510 00:27:12,667 --> 00:27:15,667 It's tough, I know, it is. 511 00:27:15,708 --> 00:27:17,750 She's been living in quite a different way 512 00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:19,125 for a long time. 513 00:27:19,208 --> 00:27:21,708 - Growing up, it was never like this. 514 00:27:21,792 --> 00:27:23,042 - [Cory] Was it cluttered? 515 00:27:23,125 --> 00:27:25,000 - No. - [Cory] Not at all? 516 00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:27,167 - My room. (Cory laughs) 517 00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:29,667 I was a teenager, my room. 518 00:27:29,792 --> 00:27:32,375 - Yeah. But this is not her. - No. 519 00:27:32,458 --> 00:27:33,750 - Yeah. 520 00:27:54,167 --> 00:27:56,208 (intense music) 521 00:28:03,458 --> 00:28:04,792 - Walking through Terri's house, 522 00:28:04,875 --> 00:28:07,583 this is not an enormous home or an enormous hoard, 523 00:28:07,708 --> 00:28:09,042 but there's some underlying problems 524 00:28:09,042 --> 00:28:11,083 that might be difficult to solve. 525 00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:13,333 The first one being the utilities. 526 00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:15,833 (tense music) 527 00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:19,083 - [Dr. Zasio] Hello. 528 00:28:19,167 --> 00:28:20,708 - We are done. 529 00:28:20,792 --> 00:28:23,542 Well, I think it's very doable. 530 00:28:23,625 --> 00:28:26,000 - Mmhmm. - Can you tell me, 531 00:28:26,042 --> 00:28:28,333 there's a space heater being used in the living room? 532 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,667 - [Terri] Yes. 533 00:28:29,667 --> 00:28:31,208 - Do you have heat, does the furnace work? 534 00:28:31,292 --> 00:28:33,625 I'm hearing, kind of different reports on that. 535 00:28:33,708 --> 00:28:35,833 - [Terri] The furnace quit. 536 00:28:35,958 --> 00:28:40,167 At the time, I was not able to afford to bring somebody in 537 00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:43,125 and if I brought somebody in to that mess, 538 00:28:43,208 --> 00:28:45,958 the city would condemn the house. 539 00:28:46,042 --> 00:28:47,208 - Sure. 540 00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:49,000 - There's no gas going to the house at the moment. 541 00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:51,125 - So they turned your gas off? - So they turned the gas off. 542 00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:53,000 - What would it take to turn it back on? 543 00:28:53,083 --> 00:28:56,917 They need to inspect every appliance that has a pilot. 544 00:28:57,042 --> 00:28:59,792 - Just the water heater and the furnace. 545 00:28:59,875 --> 00:29:01,250 - [Cory] Which are both in the basement, 546 00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:02,667 which was inaccessible. 547 00:29:02,750 --> 00:29:03,958 So we need to address that. 548 00:29:04,042 --> 00:29:05,667 So I'm just trying to prioritize 549 00:29:05,750 --> 00:29:07,417 so I can make the best cleaning plan. 550 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:11,500 And last, plumbing, I noticed in the bathroom 551 00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,667 you got some issue with the toilet. 552 00:29:12,708 --> 00:29:14,042 - Yes. 553 00:29:14,125 --> 00:29:15,542 - [Cory] So what's the problem with the toilet? 554 00:29:15,667 --> 00:29:17,125 It just cracked? - [Terri] Yeah. 555 00:29:17,208 --> 00:29:18,750 - Okay, so that's something else we'll wanna fix 556 00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:20,333 before we leave to make sure 557 00:29:20,375 --> 00:29:22,250 that this house is functional and safe. 558 00:29:22,375 --> 00:29:24,750 That's the two things I always like to say, nothing else. 559 00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:27,000 I just want it functional and safe. 560 00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:28,875 - Kori, what are your concerns? 561 00:29:28,958 --> 00:29:31,750 - That my mom's not gonna talk to me when this is over. 562 00:29:32,667 --> 00:29:34,667 (tense music) 563 00:29:34,708 --> 00:29:36,417 - [Cory] Is that valid? 564 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:39,167 - Yes. - Okay. 565 00:29:39,250 --> 00:29:40,292 - [Cory] Why? 566 00:29:43,708 --> 00:29:45,125 - I don't know. 567 00:29:45,208 --> 00:29:46,875 - [Cory] Well, are we here because she's a mean person? 568 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,500 Because she doesn't like you? 569 00:29:48,583 --> 00:29:49,792 - Yes. 570 00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:51,333 - I think she's here because she loves you, 571 00:29:51,417 --> 00:29:52,833 because inside, she started crying seeing 572 00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:55,542 how you were living and where you were sleeping. 573 00:29:55,542 --> 00:30:00,042 And don't talk yet, don't. 574 00:30:00,125 --> 00:30:01,542 You're gonna be quick to respond. 575 00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:03,375 This is that communication thing, she was just sad, 576 00:30:03,458 --> 00:30:05,417 and that's okay, and that's why she gets emotional 577 00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:08,833 when she tries to help you and it doesn't go as planned. 578 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,208 - And she's teary right now. 579 00:30:10,292 --> 00:30:11,833 So someone who doesn't care about you 580 00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:15,083 would not be getting teary, okay? 581 00:30:17,375 --> 00:30:20,458 Our goal here is to increase your communication 582 00:30:20,542 --> 00:30:23,000 for a lifetime, okay? 583 00:30:23,125 --> 00:30:26,667 And she loves you, Terri, look at her. 584 00:30:26,750 --> 00:30:28,667 She loves you, okay? 585 00:30:28,792 --> 00:30:30,917 - You deserve better than this. 586 00:30:33,292 --> 00:30:34,375 - I know that. 587 00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:37,375 - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 588 00:30:38,458 --> 00:30:41,667 So, you have the love of your daughter here, 589 00:30:41,792 --> 00:30:48,708 and try not to misread her upset 590 00:30:48,833 --> 00:30:50,083 about the condition of the house 591 00:30:50,208 --> 00:30:52,833 as not caring about you, right? 592 00:30:52,917 --> 00:30:54,792 She's upset because she loves you. 593 00:30:54,875 --> 00:30:58,000 It's just that sometimes as human beings, when we're upset, 594 00:30:58,042 --> 00:31:00,833 we don't know how to express it in a way 595 00:31:00,958 --> 00:31:03,167 that can be received. 596 00:31:03,250 --> 00:31:05,125 So, we get that. 597 00:31:05,208 --> 00:31:07,583 - [Cory] There's a lot of layers to this. 598 00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:09,083 So please don't say anymore 599 00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:10,833 that you're not gonna talk to your daughter after this, 600 00:31:10,917 --> 00:31:13,625 because it sounds like you have so much 601 00:31:13,708 --> 00:31:17,417 that you have to get done in a pretty short timeframe. 602 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:20,250 I would be thanking her that we're here 603 00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:22,500 because we are probably the only way 604 00:31:22,583 --> 00:31:25,000 this is gonna happen for you. 605 00:31:28,292 --> 00:31:30,417 (emotive music) 606 00:31:33,708 --> 00:31:35,875 (intense music) 607 00:31:44,417 --> 00:31:45,875 (door slams) 608 00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:50,750 We just arrived to the house for day one of cleanup 609 00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:52,917 and it's snowing, not ideal. 610 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,750 It's cold, it's gonna make a mess. 611 00:31:54,833 --> 00:31:56,167 I'm gonna call a morning meeting 612 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,458 just so we can talk about the plan for the day. 613 00:32:00,583 --> 00:32:01,667 Good morning, everyone. 614 00:32:01,708 --> 00:32:02,958 - [All] Good morning. 615 00:32:03,042 --> 00:32:04,167 - Well, as you can see, 616 00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:06,042 the weather is not playing nice today. 617 00:32:06,125 --> 00:32:08,167 So that's gonna be the first hurdle. 618 00:32:08,250 --> 00:32:10,167 So let's talk about a plan, 619 00:32:10,208 --> 00:32:12,667 kinda how we're gonna start the day, what needs to be done. 620 00:32:12,833 --> 00:32:14,250 Just so that we're all on the same page 621 00:32:14,375 --> 00:32:17,167 about the things we want to try to solve before we leave. 622 00:32:17,250 --> 00:32:20,375 The first one is we need to make space where it's safe. 623 00:32:20,458 --> 00:32:22,250 God forbid you ever have a fire, you can get out, 624 00:32:22,333 --> 00:32:25,167 'cause right now, I don't think you could, okay? 625 00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:30,333 Second is your functioning home, your heat, plumbing, 626 00:32:30,417 --> 00:32:32,417 stuff like that that we've kinda discussed. 627 00:32:32,542 --> 00:32:33,833 We need to get the furnace working. 628 00:32:33,917 --> 00:32:35,333 We need to replace the toilet, 629 00:32:35,417 --> 00:32:37,625 and that means we have to do a lot of work 630 00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:40,750 to get to the furnace and some of those things, okay? 631 00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:42,125 Which is gonna mean 632 00:32:42,208 --> 00:32:44,167 you're gonna have to make some hard decisions 633 00:32:44,250 --> 00:32:46,208 and some fast decisions, we have plenty of crew. 634 00:32:46,292 --> 00:32:47,417 - The faster the better, 635 00:32:47,542 --> 00:32:49,208 'cause then I won't have to think about it. 636 00:32:49,292 --> 00:32:50,833 - Well, we want you to think about it. 637 00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:53,167 - The one thing that we cannot work with is, 638 00:32:53,250 --> 00:32:55,750 "Whatever, you guys do it." 639 00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:59,083 At that point, we are gonna halt, we're gonna stop. 640 00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:00,917 The crew will stand down 641 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,333 because we are not going to have people 642 00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:08,167 taking things out of your home without you approving it, okay? 643 00:33:08,250 --> 00:33:13,417 Stuff is not as important as the relationship 644 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:15,958 that a mother and a daughter has 645 00:33:16,042 --> 00:33:19,958 and it seems like the stuff has created a wedge 646 00:33:20,042 --> 00:33:21,375 between the two of you. 647 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:25,000 So Terri, what do you think about, 648 00:33:25,083 --> 00:33:26,667 kind of, what I've just covered? 649 00:33:26,792 --> 00:33:28,083 - Okay. 650 00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:30,125 - [Dr. Zasio] Sounds okay, any concerns? 651 00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:32,125 - No. 652 00:33:34,583 --> 00:33:38,333 - Okay, I'll roll with that right now, 653 00:33:38,375 --> 00:33:40,333 but we'll maybe chit chat a little bit later. 654 00:33:40,375 --> 00:33:42,875 - Okay, so is everyone ready? - [All] Yep. 655 00:33:42,958 --> 00:33:44,667 - All right, let's head to the back. 656 00:33:44,750 --> 00:33:47,000 (tense music) 657 00:33:48,958 --> 00:33:50,417 (engine revving) 658 00:33:52,458 --> 00:33:53,833 (door creaking) 659 00:33:53,917 --> 00:33:55,792 And let's get behind this door, Brian. 660 00:33:55,792 --> 00:33:56,875 - [Brian] Okay. 661 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,542 (plastic rustling) 662 00:34:02,042 --> 00:34:03,667 (trash clattering) 663 00:34:07,125 --> 00:34:08,583 - So, we've gotten in the back of the house. 664 00:34:08,667 --> 00:34:10,083 So we're gonna start cleaning the kitchen 665 00:34:10,167 --> 00:34:11,333 and that pathway directly to the front door 666 00:34:11,417 --> 00:34:13,458 so we can get a second point of access. 667 00:34:14,542 --> 00:34:16,708 (tense music) 668 00:34:25,542 --> 00:34:27,125 (objects clattering) 669 00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:29,000 Everything is either getting thrown in a trash can 670 00:34:29,125 --> 00:34:32,208 or bagged up to go to the sorting area. 671 00:34:32,292 --> 00:34:35,333 (tense music) (objects clattering) 672 00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:40,500 - So when you're thinking about holding onto stuff, 673 00:34:40,542 --> 00:34:43,000 you wanna make sure it's gonna have a home, 674 00:34:43,042 --> 00:34:45,542 that there's gonna be a cupboard to put it in. 675 00:34:45,542 --> 00:34:46,833 - [Terri] Yes. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay? 676 00:34:46,917 --> 00:34:48,250 And I know it's gonna be hard 677 00:34:48,333 --> 00:34:51,375 because you have a ton of Tupperware, 678 00:34:51,458 --> 00:34:53,167 so we wanna pare it down to the things 679 00:34:53,250 --> 00:34:54,458 that you'll actually use, 680 00:34:54,542 --> 00:34:56,667 because when it's at the bottom of a pile 681 00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:59,208 or in the middle of a pile, you can't use it. 682 00:35:00,875 --> 00:35:04,708 Terri is not a woman of many words. 683 00:35:04,792 --> 00:35:05,833 So, are we keeping this? 684 00:35:05,917 --> 00:35:07,083 - Yes. 685 00:35:08,125 --> 00:35:10,375 - She just agrees to a lot of things, 686 00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,000 but when she doesn't speak her mind, 687 00:35:12,083 --> 00:35:13,333 I don't know what's going on 688 00:35:13,417 --> 00:35:15,417 and it makes it really difficult. 689 00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:17,375 Now, how many dog dishes do you need? 690 00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:20,625 - For as many dogs as I decide to keep. 691 00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:25,500 - So Terri, we wanna work together as a team, 692 00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:27,625 which means communicating, okay? 693 00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:31,125 (objects clattering) 694 00:35:34,083 --> 00:35:36,208 - Put it in by spices. 695 00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:38,667 Can go. 696 00:35:40,083 --> 00:35:41,875 - Do we wanna save this? 697 00:35:41,958 --> 00:35:43,500 - What? 698 00:35:43,542 --> 00:35:44,667 Then throw 'em. 699 00:35:44,750 --> 00:35:46,500 - [Abigail] Well, I want, I mean... 700 00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:50,667 - So Terri, she's just pointing out that these are soiled 701 00:35:50,708 --> 00:35:52,542 and you have a lot of new stuff in there 702 00:35:52,625 --> 00:35:54,917 and do you wanna mix the soiled stuff with the new stuff? 703 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,958 If you do, that's your choice. 704 00:35:57,042 --> 00:35:58,667 But this is where we wanna challenge you 705 00:35:58,708 --> 00:36:00,333 to think a little more critically about- 706 00:36:00,417 --> 00:36:02,792 - [Terri] I did not realize that one had been used. 707 00:36:02,875 --> 00:36:03,833 - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 708 00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,542 In the first round of sorting, 709 00:36:07,625 --> 00:36:10,875 I've definitely seen some moments of agitation, 710 00:36:10,958 --> 00:36:12,750 which is not uncommon. 711 00:36:12,833 --> 00:36:19,292 But for Terri, the agitation seems to be misdirected. 712 00:36:19,292 --> 00:36:22,167 She's not seeing us as a team. 713 00:36:23,083 --> 00:36:24,542 - Last week. 714 00:36:24,667 --> 00:36:29,333 - It almost seems like she's viewing us as an adversary. 715 00:36:29,417 --> 00:36:31,500 - Well, it seems like you guys have decided what I can 716 00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:33,583 and what I can't, so why don't you just. 717 00:36:35,333 --> 00:36:37,000 - We decided? - Are you being serious? 718 00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:38,500 - Yes. 719 00:36:38,583 --> 00:36:40,125 You can't do this, we can't donate that. 720 00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:41,875 You've got too many towels, get rid. 721 00:36:43,292 --> 00:36:45,542 (tense music) 722 00:36:45,625 --> 00:36:50,667 - So you don't like us helping you to make good decisions? 723 00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:53,333 - No, you're making the decision, I'm not. 724 00:36:53,417 --> 00:36:56,000 - I haven't made one decision, Terri, 725 00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:58,375 you have made all of the decisions. 726 00:36:58,458 --> 00:37:01,708 We are directing and encouraging you, 727 00:37:02,708 --> 00:37:05,708 but I haven't put one thing in the garbage 728 00:37:05,792 --> 00:37:08,500 and I haven't kept one thing, you've done it all. 729 00:37:08,542 --> 00:37:10,333 - (indistinct) - [Dr. Zasio] Huh? 730 00:37:10,417 --> 00:37:12,167 - Where's the rest? 731 00:37:12,292 --> 00:37:14,458 - No, let's stop and have the conversation. 732 00:37:14,542 --> 00:37:16,167 If you're gonna come out and make a comment like that, 733 00:37:16,250 --> 00:37:18,250 let's get to the bottom of it. 734 00:37:18,333 --> 00:37:20,458 - I'm worried that we're gonna continue 735 00:37:20,542 --> 00:37:23,458 in this sort of adversarial relationship 736 00:37:23,542 --> 00:37:26,000 rather than working as a team together. 737 00:37:26,042 --> 00:37:28,250 I mean, Terri, if you are feeling 738 00:37:28,333 --> 00:37:30,375 like we are making the decisions 739 00:37:30,458 --> 00:37:31,875 and that you don't have a say in it, 740 00:37:32,042 --> 00:37:34,833 and you can do this on your own, we can pack up and leave. 741 00:37:34,917 --> 00:37:37,250 (dramatic music) 742 00:37:44,875 --> 00:37:47,250 (tense music) 743 00:37:49,042 --> 00:37:50,958 - All right, well, let's give her some more stuff. 744 00:37:51,042 --> 00:37:52,500 She wants to keep working. 745 00:37:52,667 --> 00:37:54,875 - Is all this already decided? - [Dr. Zasio] That's all keep. 746 00:37:54,958 --> 00:37:56,167 - It is? 747 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:58,250 Well, let's get it in some boxes. 748 00:38:00,125 --> 00:38:01,250 - Oh, that's gotta go- 749 00:38:01,333 --> 00:38:02,792 That's gotta go to the car. 750 00:38:04,042 --> 00:38:06,500 - If there's stuff that see, before we just box it up, 751 00:38:06,542 --> 00:38:10,167 that you need to live, please tell us, okay? 752 00:38:10,250 --> 00:38:12,625 Don't let us just throw everything in boxes. 753 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,417 - So Terri, these are the hard conversations 754 00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:17,375 that we have to have, okay? 755 00:38:17,458 --> 00:38:21,333 This is mouse droppings, okay? 756 00:38:21,417 --> 00:38:25,167 Plastic items cannot be cleaned because they're porous. 757 00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:27,417 - Throw it. - Is that a decision you made 758 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:29,625 or is it a decision you think I made? 759 00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:31,833 (tense music) 760 00:38:34,917 --> 00:38:35,708 - Throw it. 761 00:38:35,792 --> 00:38:37,333 - Is this a decision that you made 762 00:38:37,417 --> 00:38:39,208 or one that you think that I made? 763 00:38:39,333 --> 00:38:41,125 - The top is broken, you can throw it. 764 00:38:41,208 --> 00:38:42,833 - Okay. (object clattering) 765 00:38:43,958 --> 00:38:45,792 - I don't think anybody 766 00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:48,833 is trying to make decisions for her. 767 00:38:48,917 --> 00:38:51,958 They're trying to push her into the right direction. 768 00:38:53,042 --> 00:38:54,042 - [Dr. Zasio] These dog dishes? 769 00:38:54,125 --> 00:38:55,875 - Yes. - [Dr. Zasio] Thank you. 770 00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:58,083 - Pointing out the obvious 771 00:38:58,208 --> 00:39:01,458 that she's choosing to not look at. 772 00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:03,625 - [Cory] I would recommend throwing away, 773 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:05,250 but it can obviously be cleaned. 774 00:39:05,333 --> 00:39:06,667 But if you have another set you're gonna use. 775 00:39:06,833 --> 00:39:08,375 - [Terri] Just throw it. - [Cory] Are you sure? 776 00:39:08,458 --> 00:39:10,167 Do you know what pots and pans these go to then? 777 00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:11,833 So we know which ones we can get rid of. 778 00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:13,583 - [Terri] There should be ones that are hanging. 779 00:39:13,667 --> 00:39:16,375 - [Cory] Okay, I don't want you to regret this stuff tomorrow. 780 00:39:16,458 --> 00:39:18,833 I feel like you're being pressured and bullied. 781 00:39:18,917 --> 00:39:20,417 - I am. 782 00:39:20,542 --> 00:39:22,125 - [Cory] Like you feel that way, not that we're doing it, 783 00:39:22,208 --> 00:39:25,667 but I don't want this to come back to haunt us tomorrow. 784 00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:28,333 So is that a choice that you would make? 785 00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:30,583 - I was going to donate those pots and pans anyway, 786 00:39:30,667 --> 00:39:32,833 but since we cannot donate anything, throw it. 787 00:39:32,917 --> 00:39:34,000 - [Cory] Okay. 788 00:39:35,625 --> 00:39:38,167 - Right now, all I really wanna do is walk into the house 789 00:39:38,208 --> 00:39:41,917 and grab a bunch of bags and start throwing things in bags 790 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,667 and saying, "Here, don't take this to her, 791 00:39:43,750 --> 00:39:45,542 take this to the garbage." 792 00:39:45,667 --> 00:39:47,542 - This shouldn't have anything micey. 793 00:39:48,583 --> 00:39:50,167 - [Dr. Zasio] Okay, so then you're gonna dry clean, 794 00:39:50,250 --> 00:39:51,375 or what are you? 795 00:39:51,458 --> 00:39:53,750 - It will be bleached in Oxi. 796 00:39:53,833 --> 00:39:55,542 - [Kori] Get rid of it, Mom. 797 00:39:55,625 --> 00:39:58,833 You have so much crap in there like this. 798 00:39:58,875 --> 00:40:00,500 - Oh fine, get rid of the whole thing then. 799 00:40:00,583 --> 00:40:02,667 - You don't need it. 800 00:40:02,708 --> 00:40:05,250 She'd be telling me, get rid of it. 801 00:40:05,333 --> 00:40:07,333 You haven't used it in forever. 802 00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:09,500 You haven't been able to find it, get rid of it. 803 00:40:09,583 --> 00:40:10,667 You don't need it. 804 00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:14,000 - [Terri] Give me a few minutes, guys. 805 00:40:14,083 --> 00:40:15,083 - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 806 00:40:16,208 --> 00:40:18,542 (tense music) 807 00:40:24,792 --> 00:40:28,125 - [Annika] And Zaria was like, oh no, what did mom do? 808 00:40:28,208 --> 00:40:30,375 - [Terri] Oh, she's agreeing with these guys. 809 00:40:30,375 --> 00:40:32,000 Just got one little mouse to turd on it, 810 00:40:32,083 --> 00:40:33,167 it's gotta get thrown away. 811 00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:38,875 She just threw away $80 worth of curtain lace. 812 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:41,667 She was like, you don't need it, get rid of it. 813 00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:44,917 So you know what, fine, let 'em get rid of all of it. 814 00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:46,667 - So you know her better than us. 815 00:40:46,708 --> 00:40:50,458 So how do you think she will respond to this? 816 00:40:50,542 --> 00:40:52,750 Will she calm down and reengage? 817 00:40:52,833 --> 00:40:55,458 Are we gonna have to kind of go and engage her 818 00:40:55,542 --> 00:40:57,000 and bring her back into the game? 819 00:40:57,083 --> 00:40:59,667 - She will come back, just give her a couple minutes. 820 00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:01,333 - [Cory] Okay. - Yeah. 821 00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:02,542 - All right. 822 00:41:02,625 --> 00:41:04,958 - Because even she's at the point 823 00:41:05,042 --> 00:41:08,000 where if I tell her to get rid of something, she gets mad. 824 00:41:09,042 --> 00:41:10,500 - [Cory] Terri's really struggling 825 00:41:10,625 --> 00:41:12,792 with the way the cleanup's going, 826 00:41:12,875 --> 00:41:14,833 which is because we're challenging her. 827 00:41:14,917 --> 00:41:17,000 She's very used to working with her family 828 00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:18,833 and when they have some discord or fight, 829 00:41:18,875 --> 00:41:21,250 they just stop and nothing ensues after that. 830 00:41:21,375 --> 00:41:22,625 So by us challenging her, 831 00:41:22,708 --> 00:41:24,625 it's very uncomfortable and she does not like it. 832 00:41:24,708 --> 00:41:26,667 - We're challenging her, 833 00:41:26,708 --> 00:41:29,708 but none of us have made any decisions 834 00:41:29,792 --> 00:41:32,250 about any of her stuff, so I'm confused about that. 835 00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:35,000 - She was told that nothing in there was salvageable, 836 00:41:35,042 --> 00:41:37,625 nothing in there is washable. - [Cory] We didn't say that. 837 00:41:37,708 --> 00:41:38,833 - [Dr. Zasio] Nobody said that. 838 00:41:38,917 --> 00:41:40,292 - We're saying it's not donatable. 839 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:41,833 There's a big difference between the two. 840 00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:44,750 - Well, she thinks if she washes it, she can donate it. 841 00:41:45,750 --> 00:41:46,958 - [Cory] Is she going to? 842 00:41:47,042 --> 00:41:48,292 Is she gonna wash a half a million things? 843 00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:49,333 - No. 844 00:41:49,417 --> 00:41:50,667 - So that's the kind of pushback. 845 00:41:50,750 --> 00:41:52,375 We need reality in this situation. 846 00:41:52,458 --> 00:41:54,208 When she comes up with a crazy excuse, 847 00:41:54,292 --> 00:41:56,042 we come up with a factual answer. 848 00:41:57,042 --> 00:41:59,167 - [Dr. Zasio] So do you think that cognitively, 849 00:41:59,292 --> 00:42:02,125 there is some impairment that could be explaining why? 850 00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:03,625 - Could be. 851 00:42:03,708 --> 00:42:04,833 - Or is this something that you've seen that's common 852 00:42:04,875 --> 00:42:07,542 with her when she gets upset 853 00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:10,167 that it kind of gets thrown back? 854 00:42:11,292 --> 00:42:12,500 - That too. 855 00:42:12,625 --> 00:42:14,333 - Because she doesn't wanna be challenged. 856 00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:18,542 - Yeah, so it's a challenging first day all around. 857 00:42:20,708 --> 00:42:23,500 How about we switch out granddaughters for you 858 00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:24,708 for a little while? 859 00:42:25,750 --> 00:42:27,667 Now again, this isn't anything against you. 860 00:42:27,750 --> 00:42:29,667 This is just the relationship you guys have. 861 00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:31,875 - I know, I know. - There's a lot of tension, 862 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,708 there's a lot of bad blood from the past 863 00:42:33,792 --> 00:42:35,958 that's gonna come into play. 864 00:42:36,042 --> 00:42:38,958 So if we have the granddaughters kind of step into your role, 865 00:42:39,042 --> 00:42:41,167 do you think that will change the dynamic a little bit? 866 00:42:41,208 --> 00:42:42,500 - It might. 867 00:42:42,542 --> 00:42:43,792 - [Cory] Okay. 868 00:42:43,875 --> 00:42:45,833 - Oh, maybe she's coming out. 869 00:42:45,875 --> 00:42:46,750 (car door clicks) 870 00:42:46,833 --> 00:42:48,375 Door's open. - [Cory] Good. 871 00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:50,000 Hey Terri, 872 00:42:50,042 --> 00:42:52,500 would you be able to just work with your granddaughters? 873 00:42:52,583 --> 00:42:54,583 - Yes. - [Cory] Okay. 874 00:42:54,667 --> 00:42:55,875 Why don't we end the day like that 875 00:42:55,958 --> 00:42:57,125 and if your granddaughters and you 876 00:42:57,208 --> 00:42:59,167 can kind of sort through this remaining staff, 877 00:42:59,250 --> 00:43:00,458 we'll call it a day. 878 00:43:00,542 --> 00:43:01,833 Would that work? 879 00:43:01,917 --> 00:43:05,375 Okay, we don't want to end on a bad note today, 880 00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:06,833 and I wanna clear one thing up. 881 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,292 I did not say everything in your house is not salvageable. 882 00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:12,875 I said everything in your house is not donatable 883 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,500 and there's a big difference between the two, okay? 884 00:43:15,542 --> 00:43:17,250 - That's all right, it can all go. 885 00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:19,667 - [Cory] Right, but that's... 886 00:43:19,750 --> 00:43:21,500 - [Dr. Zasio] Terri, this isn't communication. 887 00:43:21,583 --> 00:43:23,083 - [Cory] You're just giving in 888 00:43:23,167 --> 00:43:25,417 and I don't want you to feel like we're pressuring you. 889 00:43:25,542 --> 00:43:27,958 I want you to feel like we're challenging you, that's it. 890 00:43:28,042 --> 00:43:29,542 We're challenging your way of thinking 891 00:43:29,625 --> 00:43:32,292 that got you in this position, okay? 892 00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:36,417 I don't want you to feel like we're all ganging up on you, 893 00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:38,167 'cause that won't help 894 00:43:38,250 --> 00:43:40,375 and I know you said you trust your granddaughters, 895 00:43:40,458 --> 00:43:42,500 so let's try to get you back engaged 896 00:43:42,542 --> 00:43:43,625 with people that you trust. 897 00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:44,833 - Okay. - [Cory] Okay? 898 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,875 And you guys can help make decisions with her. 899 00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:48,208 Does that sound good? 900 00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:50,500 If we can get through this stuff on this tarp 901 00:43:50,583 --> 00:43:52,792 in the next 45 minutes, let's just say, 902 00:43:52,875 --> 00:43:54,958 then we can kinda stop, okay? 903 00:43:55,042 --> 00:43:57,000 Well, good luck, I'm gonna bow out. 904 00:43:57,083 --> 00:43:58,333 - Okay, Abigail? 905 00:44:00,292 --> 00:44:03,000 - Do you wanna stand or sit? 906 00:44:03,083 --> 00:44:04,708 - Stand for a little bit. - [Abigail] Okay. 907 00:44:04,833 --> 00:44:06,958 - Those, I don't think there's anything in them. 908 00:44:07,042 --> 00:44:08,875 - [Abigail] Okay. - So that can all go. 909 00:44:08,958 --> 00:44:10,625 - [Abigail] Okay. 910 00:44:10,708 --> 00:44:13,083 - The pizza stone, I just assume keep. 911 00:44:13,208 --> 00:44:15,292 (objects clattering) 912 00:44:15,417 --> 00:44:18,083 I threw these away twice already, for heaven sake. 913 00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,167 I haven't even read it, so I can't. 914 00:44:22,292 --> 00:44:25,167 - [Abigail] Well, I'm not making that decision for you. 915 00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:26,458 Okay. 916 00:44:26,542 --> 00:44:28,333 - [Zaria] I think my grandma makes better choices 917 00:44:28,417 --> 00:44:30,167 if me and my sister are there 918 00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:33,583 because my grandma usually is just really good with us. 919 00:44:33,583 --> 00:44:34,667 With my mom, she isn't, 920 00:44:34,750 --> 00:44:36,167 but with me and my sister, she is. 921 00:44:36,250 --> 00:44:39,167 - [Abigail] Can I trash this? - Yep, and that. 922 00:44:39,250 --> 00:44:41,083 (objects clattering) 923 00:44:42,833 --> 00:44:44,708 - [Cory] She's reengaged, she's in a much better mood. 924 00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,208 So I'm hopeful that tomorrow, 925 00:44:46,333 --> 00:44:49,125 she's gonna be in that same mood when we start the day. 926 00:44:57,167 --> 00:44:59,458 - [Dr. Zasio] Stuff is not as important 927 00:44:59,542 --> 00:45:04,000 as the relationship that a mother and a daughter has. 928 00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:06,708 It seems like the stuff has created a wedge 929 00:45:06,792 --> 00:45:08,750 between the two of you. 930 00:45:08,833 --> 00:45:11,542 - We come from a long line of stubborn people. 931 00:45:11,625 --> 00:45:12,958 Get rid of it, mom. 932 00:45:13,042 --> 00:45:14,667 - [Terri] If I say one thing, she'll say another. 933 00:45:14,708 --> 00:45:18,125 From politics to what color the sky is. 934 00:45:18,208 --> 00:45:21,667 - You have so much crap in there like this. 935 00:45:21,750 --> 00:45:23,375 - Oh fine, get rid of the whole thing then. 936 00:45:23,375 --> 00:45:24,708 - You don't need it. 937 00:45:24,875 --> 00:45:27,000 (intense music) 938 00:45:30,417 --> 00:45:32,708 - [Terri] You guys have decided what I can and what I can't, 939 00:45:32,792 --> 00:45:34,167 so why don't you just... 940 00:45:34,250 --> 00:45:36,083 - We decided? - Are you being serious? 941 00:45:36,208 --> 00:45:37,042 - Yes. 942 00:45:38,583 --> 00:45:42,958 - So you don't like us helping you to make good decisions? 943 00:45:43,042 --> 00:45:45,208 - No, you're making the decision, I'm not. 944 00:45:45,333 --> 00:45:48,917 - We are directing and encouraging you. 945 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:51,333 I'm worried that we're gonna continue 946 00:45:51,375 --> 00:45:54,125 in this sort of adversarial relationship 947 00:45:54,208 --> 00:45:56,458 rather than working as a team together. 948 00:46:03,208 --> 00:46:05,167 (dramatic music) (plastic rustling) 949 00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:07,250 - [Cory] Good morning, guys. - [All] Good morning. 950 00:46:07,375 --> 00:46:08,500 - Well, it's day two. 951 00:46:08,625 --> 00:46:10,542 Let's just check in and see how you think day one went 952 00:46:10,625 --> 00:46:12,833 and kinda how you're feeling today. 953 00:46:12,917 --> 00:46:14,333 - Outside of the headache, fine. 954 00:46:15,542 --> 00:46:18,042 I'm still kind of resentful 955 00:46:18,125 --> 00:46:20,917 that I had to dump all that white lace. 956 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,875 That's very, very expensive. 957 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,458 - There was a $4 price tag on it, mom. 958 00:46:25,542 --> 00:46:28,667 - That's because the fabric store was going out of business 959 00:46:28,792 --> 00:46:30,833 and normally it's $40 a yard. 960 00:46:31,708 --> 00:46:33,208 - So just hear her out. 961 00:46:33,292 --> 00:46:34,833 We wanna set those boundaries. 962 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,167 So if she's letting go 963 00:46:36,292 --> 00:46:38,250 and she's really hung up on keeping something, 964 00:46:38,333 --> 00:46:39,917 if you guys have a problem with it 965 00:46:40,042 --> 00:46:41,333 or you're struggling with why, 966 00:46:41,375 --> 00:46:43,333 call one of us over and let us talk through it. 967 00:46:43,417 --> 00:46:44,833 But let's not try to force her hand 968 00:46:44,958 --> 00:46:47,000 because there was a lot of, 969 00:46:47,042 --> 00:46:48,500 I'll say, resentment too yesterday, 970 00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:50,417 that she was feeling forced to throw things away 971 00:46:50,500 --> 00:46:51,500 and we don't want that. 972 00:46:52,750 --> 00:46:54,958 - We want you to be really clear 973 00:46:55,042 --> 00:46:57,500 that no one is forcing you to do anything. 974 00:46:57,583 --> 00:47:01,292 So if Kori says, "I think you should get rid of it." 975 00:47:01,375 --> 00:47:05,833 Ultimately it is your choice what you decide to do. 976 00:47:07,042 --> 00:47:10,292 We're not here to get rid of all of your stuff. 977 00:47:10,375 --> 00:47:13,792 We're here to guide, to hear your voice 978 00:47:13,875 --> 00:47:16,667 and to know when you put your foot down, 979 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:18,833 you're putting your foot down, period. 980 00:47:18,917 --> 00:47:20,458 And Kori and girls, 981 00:47:20,542 --> 00:47:23,042 that's important for everybody to hear, also, 982 00:47:23,125 --> 00:47:27,542 how can we adjust our style to work with Terri 983 00:47:27,625 --> 00:47:29,417 to get this house in order, 984 00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:32,417 and you guys have been engaging in one style, 985 00:47:32,500 --> 00:47:35,792 one ineffective style for a very, very long time, 986 00:47:35,875 --> 00:47:38,125 and it's clearly not working - 46 years 987 00:47:38,208 --> 00:47:41,042 all the way up until yesterday, right? 988 00:47:41,042 --> 00:47:43,833 So are you guys on board with that? 989 00:47:43,875 --> 00:47:45,875 You guys ready? - Yep. 990 00:47:45,958 --> 00:47:47,583 - All right, so what's the plan for today? 991 00:47:47,708 --> 00:47:49,500 - My goal today would be to get through the kitchen, 992 00:47:49,583 --> 00:47:51,042 living room and your bedroom. 993 00:47:51,125 --> 00:47:53,500 Do you think you have it in you to make a lot of decisions 994 00:47:53,625 --> 00:47:56,792 and help us set some rules today to speed that process up 995 00:47:56,792 --> 00:47:59,125 to get most of your first floor done? 996 00:47:59,208 --> 00:48:00,167 - Yes. 997 00:48:00,250 --> 00:48:02,167 - Good, if you guys are ready, I am. 998 00:48:02,250 --> 00:48:04,333 Well, let's get started. - [Dr. Zasio] All right. 999 00:48:04,417 --> 00:48:07,292 (objects clattering) (tense music) 1000 00:48:10,458 --> 00:48:13,167 (objects clattering) (plastic rustling) 1001 00:48:15,542 --> 00:48:18,208 - So, you guys can start on the stuff that's over there 1002 00:48:18,208 --> 00:48:22,042 and one of you can take this back, see how it goes. 1003 00:48:22,125 --> 00:48:23,500 We have Terri and the granddaughters 1004 00:48:23,542 --> 00:48:24,833 back at the sorting table, 1005 00:48:24,875 --> 00:48:26,042 just working on their communication skills 1006 00:48:26,125 --> 00:48:27,708 and seeing if they can't put a big dent 1007 00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:31,125 in all the stuff that's come out waiting for them to sort. 1008 00:48:31,208 --> 00:48:32,917 You can't spend that much time on stuff. 1009 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,708 - I don't know if you can keep it. 1010 00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:37,958 - [Cory] If you don't know, quickly ask your grandma. 1011 00:48:38,042 --> 00:48:39,958 - Do you want it? - Yes, ma'am. 1012 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:41,208 - [Cory] Okay. 1013 00:48:41,292 --> 00:48:43,000 - Well, I'm gonna just keep asking her 1014 00:48:43,083 --> 00:48:44,333 'cause I don't like making decisions. 1015 00:48:44,375 --> 00:48:45,417 - [Cory] No, don't do that. 1016 00:48:45,542 --> 00:48:47,625 You can make some decisions on your own. 1017 00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:50,500 Is that something you want your grandma to use? 1018 00:48:50,583 --> 00:48:52,333 - No, it's dirty. 1019 00:48:52,375 --> 00:48:54,417 - [Cory] Is it something you think your grandma needs 1020 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:57,000 to live a normal functioning life in her home? 1021 00:48:57,083 --> 00:48:59,000 - No. - [Cory] Okay. 1022 00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:01,083 So set some rules for yourself too. 1023 00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:04,000 The biggest challenge for Terri today 1024 00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:05,417 is going to be the communication. 1025 00:49:05,542 --> 00:49:07,125 We really struggled with her yesterday 1026 00:49:07,208 --> 00:49:10,042 trying to get her to open up, let us know how she was feeling, 1027 00:49:10,125 --> 00:49:11,583 and even communicating with her family. 1028 00:49:11,667 --> 00:49:15,500 She just uses one word and then kind of shrugs us off. 1029 00:49:17,250 --> 00:49:18,708 - [Terri] No. - [Cory] No, what? 1030 00:49:18,792 --> 00:49:20,333 - I wasn't gonna throw it away. 1031 00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:22,333 - [Cory] We need more clarification than "no" 1032 00:49:22,458 --> 00:49:24,708 because I don't know what that means either. 1033 00:49:24,792 --> 00:49:26,083 So what is the decision on that? 1034 00:49:26,167 --> 00:49:27,833 - I would like to keep. 1035 00:49:27,917 --> 00:49:29,500 - [Cory] Okay, so just say keep. 1036 00:49:29,542 --> 00:49:31,542 (tense music) 1037 00:49:31,667 --> 00:49:33,375 (objects clattering) 1038 00:49:49,708 --> 00:49:51,167 - No. 1039 00:49:51,208 --> 00:49:54,000 (tense music) (objects clattering) 1040 00:49:56,042 --> 00:49:57,333 - We're finishing up the kitchen. 1041 00:49:57,375 --> 00:49:59,167 We've got most of the stuff removed, 1042 00:49:59,250 --> 00:50:01,708 but we are just finding a lot of rodent waste. 1043 00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:04,250 (dramatic music) 1044 00:50:04,375 --> 00:50:06,458 I really wanna bring Terri in to see it, 1045 00:50:06,542 --> 00:50:09,167 to show her the damage that these rodents have created 1046 00:50:09,250 --> 00:50:11,042 and make sure that she's aware of the biohazard 1047 00:50:11,125 --> 00:50:13,375 and the dangers that are present in her kitchen. 1048 00:50:13,500 --> 00:50:15,042 (door creaks) 1049 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,375 - [Dr. Zasio] Whew. 1050 00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:19,542 (tense music) 1051 00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:24,125 - All right, so first of all, 1052 00:50:24,208 --> 00:50:26,292 how does it feel to have space? 1053 00:50:26,375 --> 00:50:28,042 What's going through your head? 1054 00:50:29,708 --> 00:50:33,708 You're not smiling ear to ear, so, what- 1055 00:50:33,833 --> 00:50:36,000 Just talk, again, we need to know what you're thinking. 1056 00:50:36,083 --> 00:50:37,375 Let us know how this makes you feel 1057 00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:40,250 because it's an important part of the process. 1058 00:50:40,375 --> 00:50:42,958 You have some concerns about things missing or something? 1059 00:50:43,042 --> 00:50:44,750 - No, not missing. - [Cory] Okay. 1060 00:50:46,583 --> 00:50:48,750 - [Dr. Zasio] Terri, how about the condition? 1061 00:50:49,958 --> 00:50:51,625 - I'm surprised it's that... 1062 00:50:53,875 --> 00:50:55,000 Bad. 1063 00:50:55,042 --> 00:50:56,375 - Okay. 1064 00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:58,625 - [Cory] And that's really what we want you to see. 1065 00:50:58,708 --> 00:51:01,500 A lot of your furniture is ruined from moisture. 1066 00:51:01,625 --> 00:51:03,917 - That was from the previous dog. 1067 00:51:04,042 --> 00:51:05,375 - Okay. 1068 00:51:05,542 --> 00:51:07,667 But it's something that we should address while we're here 1069 00:51:07,750 --> 00:51:09,375 because the odors and things 1070 00:51:09,458 --> 00:51:10,917 are gonna be coming from things like that 1071 00:51:11,042 --> 00:51:12,917 because they're so saturated with urine, 1072 00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:14,208 that doesn't go away. 1073 00:51:14,292 --> 00:51:16,000 Underneath every part of your house 1074 00:51:16,042 --> 00:51:17,667 is probably gonna look like this. 1075 00:51:17,750 --> 00:51:18,667 So the further we get down, 1076 00:51:18,750 --> 00:51:20,083 we're gonna find things that are ruined 1077 00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:21,417 because of these rodents 1078 00:51:21,542 --> 00:51:23,167 and we still have all the cupboards and drawers. 1079 00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:25,542 And again, I want you to see the condition, 1080 00:51:25,625 --> 00:51:27,625 because we can't keep stuff like that. 1081 00:51:29,542 --> 00:51:33,500 - [Dr. Zasio] So that is pretty much rodent waste, right? 1082 00:51:34,667 --> 00:51:36,167 All that stuff on top. 1083 00:51:36,208 --> 00:51:37,875 - All this is just from their fur. 1084 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,875 But you can see it's full of rodent stuff everywhere. 1085 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,667 - So are you okay with just letting that whole thing go 1086 00:51:44,833 --> 00:51:46,458 or are you hoping to clean it? 1087 00:51:46,542 --> 00:51:48,667 - No, it can go. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 1088 00:51:49,875 --> 00:51:51,875 Kori, I wanna ask you. - Mm-hmm. 1089 00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:55,167 - As a daughter, this would be very difficult 1090 00:51:55,250 --> 00:51:58,833 for me to see if my mom was living in a house 1091 00:51:58,875 --> 00:52:02,833 with all of this waste, so what are your thoughts? 1092 00:52:02,917 --> 00:52:05,250 - I'm just happy it's clean, or getting clean 1093 00:52:05,375 --> 00:52:07,667 and it's all gone. - Okay. 1094 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:09,917 (somber music) 1095 00:52:16,792 --> 00:52:18,167 - It's sad, 1096 00:52:24,542 --> 00:52:27,542 knowing that that creates a lot of health issues, 1097 00:52:30,833 --> 00:52:32,458 and Mom, you got enough. 1098 00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:36,667 So we'll get rid of it and start over. 1099 00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:42,667 (Kori crying) 1100 00:52:46,667 --> 00:52:51,417 I'm trying to fix 30 years. (cries) 1101 00:52:52,875 --> 00:52:54,583 (emotive music) 1102 00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:11,208 - Maybe we can look at this more of trying to heal, okay? 1103 00:53:13,708 --> 00:53:16,625 And it's possible because human beings can change. 1104 00:53:16,708 --> 00:53:19,333 That's the really cool thing, is we're never at that place 1105 00:53:19,417 --> 00:53:22,708 where we've maxed out our ability to change. 1106 00:53:23,750 --> 00:53:26,833 They've had 30 years of communication breakdown. 1107 00:53:26,958 --> 00:53:28,750 We can't fix that overnight. 1108 00:53:28,833 --> 00:53:32,167 We can't even fix it in the four or five days that I'm here. 1109 00:53:32,208 --> 00:53:36,417 However, we can start the healing process. 1110 00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:39,500 Part of this home being restored 1111 00:53:39,583 --> 00:53:41,375 is restoring your relationship 1112 00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:43,208 so that the two of you can be in this home 1113 00:53:43,292 --> 00:53:44,667 and have really good memories. 1114 00:53:44,708 --> 00:53:46,333 It's not gonna be about the stuff anymore, 1115 00:53:46,375 --> 00:53:48,625 it's gonna be about your relationship. 1116 00:53:49,833 --> 00:53:52,667 I'm gonna give both of you an assignment tonight. 1117 00:53:52,750 --> 00:53:57,000 I would like you to write a letter to each other 1118 00:53:57,125 --> 00:54:01,375 about what you would like your relationship to look like. 1119 00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:05,250 So you're gonna write a letter to your mom 1120 00:54:05,375 --> 00:54:07,958 about what you would like your relationship 1121 00:54:08,042 --> 00:54:09,417 with her to look like, 1122 00:54:09,500 --> 00:54:12,167 and then you're gonna write a letter to Kori 1123 00:54:12,250 --> 00:54:14,583 about what you would like your relationship 1124 00:54:14,583 --> 00:54:17,750 to look like with her, okay? 1125 00:54:17,875 --> 00:54:18,958 - [Kori] Mm-hmm. 1126 00:54:19,042 --> 00:54:21,667 - So are both of you willing to do that tonight? 1127 00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:24,500 Okay, Kori? 1128 00:54:24,542 --> 00:54:27,167 - Mm-hmm. - [Dr. Zasio] Okay. 1129 00:54:27,250 --> 00:54:28,542 - I think it's important that we bring Terri 1130 00:54:28,625 --> 00:54:29,792 in to work with Kori, 1131 00:54:29,875 --> 00:54:32,167 because this whole thing is about their past 1132 00:54:32,208 --> 00:54:33,833 and their communication struggles, 1133 00:54:33,917 --> 00:54:36,458 and I wanna see 'em start working together. 1134 00:54:36,542 --> 00:54:40,125 - Since you and Kori have had a hard time 1135 00:54:40,208 --> 00:54:41,625 doing this previously, 1136 00:54:41,708 --> 00:54:44,708 we think that it will be another step in your healing 1137 00:54:44,792 --> 00:54:47,125 to be in this room working together. 1138 00:54:47,208 --> 00:54:48,667 You know, 1139 00:54:48,792 --> 00:54:52,708 we only have one go around and this is your only daughter 1140 00:54:54,333 --> 00:54:57,708 and for the years that the two of you have left, 1141 00:54:57,833 --> 00:55:02,708 to be able to really honor those and maximize those. 1142 00:55:02,833 --> 00:55:05,833 - I don't want you to ever give up on the relationship 1143 00:55:05,917 --> 00:55:08,000 with your daughter because like she said, 1144 00:55:08,083 --> 00:55:10,000 it's never too late, okay? 1145 00:55:11,125 --> 00:55:14,667 Give her a chance, she's here fighting for you, okay? 1146 00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:17,792 So that is right next to you. 1147 00:55:19,458 --> 00:55:22,625 (pensive music) (objects clattering) 1148 00:55:25,375 --> 00:55:27,333 - Want this crossword books? 1149 00:55:27,417 --> 00:55:29,083 - [Terri] No, they can go. 1150 00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:30,417 Yeah. 1151 00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:32,208 - [Cory] Keep? - Yes, please. 1152 00:55:32,292 --> 00:55:33,833 Go. - [Cory] Good. 1153 00:55:33,917 --> 00:55:35,958 (objects clattering) 1154 00:55:36,042 --> 00:55:37,875 - [Terri] Throw it, I'll never use it. 1155 00:55:39,458 --> 00:55:41,625 (pensive music) 1156 00:55:41,708 --> 00:55:43,417 (objects clattering) 1157 00:55:46,458 --> 00:55:48,667 (truck engine revving) 1158 00:55:54,375 --> 00:55:56,792 (pensive music) 1159 00:56:02,542 --> 00:56:04,125 - Honestly, how are you guys doing communicating 1160 00:56:04,208 --> 00:56:05,417 and making decisions together 1161 00:56:05,500 --> 00:56:06,333 and just talking through things? 1162 00:56:06,375 --> 00:56:07,708 - That's okay. - [Cory] Yeah? 1163 00:56:07,792 --> 00:56:09,458 - The only thing we pulled out of the garbage 1164 00:56:09,542 --> 00:56:11,042 was something she threw away. 1165 00:56:11,042 --> 00:56:12,292 - Okay, that's all right. 1166 00:56:12,375 --> 00:56:13,708 - And it was a magnifying glass. 1167 00:56:13,792 --> 00:56:15,458 - We were supposed to get the bedroom done today. 1168 00:56:15,542 --> 00:56:16,708 We really had some high hopes. 1169 00:56:16,792 --> 00:56:18,917 So I have to get this room done. 1170 00:56:20,583 --> 00:56:23,000 I think Terri is sticking to her word of 50%, 1171 00:56:23,083 --> 00:56:24,292 at least right now. 1172 00:56:24,375 --> 00:56:26,000 The problem is 50% of a hoarder's house 1173 00:56:26,042 --> 00:56:27,583 is still a lot of stuff. 1174 00:56:27,667 --> 00:56:29,333 She needs to let go of a lot more. 1175 00:56:29,375 --> 00:56:32,542 In a house like this, she would have to let go of about 95% 1176 00:56:32,667 --> 00:56:34,833 to have it look like a normal functioning home. 1177 00:56:34,875 --> 00:56:37,208 So at this point, we need to step it up a little. 1178 00:56:37,292 --> 00:56:39,208 Steri-Clean guys, can you come in? 1179 00:56:39,292 --> 00:56:40,792 We're gonna do the living room, 1180 00:56:40,875 --> 00:56:42,917 just like we did in the kitchen, same rules. 1181 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000 (pensive music) 1182 00:56:46,167 --> 00:56:47,875 (objects clattering) 1183 00:56:50,917 --> 00:56:54,125 (light suspense music) (objects clattering) 1184 00:57:08,833 --> 00:57:10,542 - We're at the end of the day 1185 00:57:10,625 --> 00:57:12,833 and it's time to take Terri into her living room 1186 00:57:12,875 --> 00:57:15,167 so that she can see the progress made. 1187 00:57:16,208 --> 00:57:17,708 (trash clattering) 1188 00:57:19,417 --> 00:57:20,625 Hello? 1189 00:57:20,708 --> 00:57:22,042 - Hello there. - [Dr. Zasio] Hi. 1190 00:57:22,125 --> 00:57:24,333 Wow, you guys are making some magic in here, 1191 00:57:24,458 --> 00:57:25,958 I'll tell you what. 1192 00:57:26,042 --> 00:57:27,500 - Yeah, it's come a long way today. 1193 00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:31,292 - It has come a long way, like, oh my gosh, amazing. 1194 00:57:31,375 --> 00:57:33,000 - Mm-hmm. Is it starting to feel like 1195 00:57:33,083 --> 00:57:35,167 this weight is literally lifting off of you? 1196 00:57:35,250 --> 00:57:36,833 - Yeah. - [Cory] Good. 1197 00:57:36,833 --> 00:57:40,375 Because this really seems like it's held you down 1198 00:57:40,458 --> 00:57:42,625 and I hope this is like a freeing experience 1199 00:57:42,708 --> 00:57:44,667 to see now two rooms clear 1200 00:57:44,750 --> 00:57:46,500 and I hope there's not a huge sense of loss 1201 00:57:46,542 --> 00:57:48,375 of anything that's gone yet. 1202 00:57:48,458 --> 00:57:50,125 You guys worked together too today, okay, 1203 00:57:50,208 --> 00:57:52,000 for the first time, probably in a while. 1204 00:57:52,083 --> 00:57:54,042 How do you guys feel how today went? 1205 00:57:54,125 --> 00:57:56,125 It was a new you, right? 1206 00:57:56,208 --> 00:57:58,250 You gave up some control and did some things. 1207 00:57:58,333 --> 00:57:59,833 So how did that feel? 1208 00:57:59,917 --> 00:58:01,375 - I would just like to get it done 1209 00:58:01,500 --> 00:58:06,500 so I can see what I saw 1210 00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:08,917 up here, out here. 1211 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,333 - So you had a vision? - [Cory] Yeah. 1212 00:58:11,375 --> 00:58:13,083 - Good, that's good. - I love that. 1213 00:58:13,167 --> 00:58:14,333 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. 1214 00:58:14,458 --> 00:58:18,042 The fact that she had a vision is really encouraging. 1215 00:58:18,167 --> 00:58:21,667 Up until now, we've had one and two word answers. 1216 00:58:21,708 --> 00:58:23,667 It's been pretty negative. 1217 00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:27,708 - I'm hoping tomorrow, you have the same positive outlook 1218 00:58:27,708 --> 00:58:30,917 because it seems like each day you're more positive, 1219 00:58:31,042 --> 00:58:33,000 which means you're gonna work even harder and let more go. 1220 00:58:33,167 --> 00:58:34,083 - Yeah, yeah. 1221 00:58:34,208 --> 00:58:35,542 - Okay, and that's how we get this done. 1222 00:58:35,625 --> 00:58:36,875 That's the only way. 1223 00:58:37,042 --> 00:58:38,333 So, sleep on it. 1224 00:58:38,417 --> 00:58:42,333 Remember the positives, don't dwell on the one negative, 1225 00:58:42,375 --> 00:58:43,667 and you have this wonderful space 1226 00:58:43,792 --> 00:58:46,833 that is feeling 10 times as big now. 1227 00:58:46,917 --> 00:58:49,167 So tomorrow, we need to just finish this 1228 00:58:49,208 --> 00:58:51,458 and then get into your bedroom tomorrow. 1229 00:58:51,542 --> 00:58:53,083 We have to get that bedroom done. 1230 00:58:53,208 --> 00:58:55,000 If we were to leave with just that done, 1231 00:58:55,042 --> 00:58:56,708 we have all the functional areas. 1232 00:58:56,833 --> 00:58:58,167 We'll get your bathroom done, we'll get your bedroom done, 1233 00:58:58,292 --> 00:58:59,042 living room, kitchen. 1234 00:58:59,167 --> 00:59:00,542 If that was all we did, 1235 00:59:00,625 --> 00:59:03,708 I would feel happy that you have a functional, safe home. 1236 00:59:03,792 --> 00:59:05,375 Okay, I'd like to get further, 1237 00:59:05,458 --> 00:59:07,042 so I'm gonna keep pushing for that. 1238 00:59:07,167 --> 00:59:09,833 - Okay, I think the final thing for me 1239 00:59:09,875 --> 00:59:12,625 is we talked earlier today 1240 00:59:12,708 --> 00:59:16,667 about this process of starting to work 1241 00:59:16,792 --> 00:59:19,333 on healing your relationship together. 1242 00:59:20,375 --> 00:59:23,708 I asked both of you to write a letter to each other 1243 00:59:23,875 --> 00:59:26,708 about what you would like your relationship to look like. 1244 00:59:27,792 --> 00:59:29,208 Kori, are you still willing to do that? 1245 00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:30,708 - Yeah. - Terri? 1246 00:59:30,792 --> 00:59:32,542 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, great. 1247 00:59:32,625 --> 00:59:34,875 - Just again, just keep positive tonight, okay? 1248 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,500 When you go to bed, lay down, 1249 00:59:36,583 --> 00:59:38,500 think of all the good things that have come out of this. 1250 00:59:38,583 --> 00:59:40,375 That's all I ask for you to do. 1251 00:59:40,458 --> 00:59:45,208 - My hope for tomorrow is that Terri maintains the vision 1252 00:59:45,292 --> 00:59:46,667 that she wants for her house 1253 00:59:46,792 --> 00:59:49,500 and she really kicks it into high gear 1254 00:59:49,583 --> 00:59:51,792 and lets go of even more stuff. 1255 00:59:53,125 --> 00:59:55,542 We still have part of the living room, two bedrooms, 1256 00:59:55,667 --> 00:59:57,917 a bathroom, and a basement. 1257 00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,167 That is a tall order. 1258 01:00:00,208 --> 01:00:02,292 (tense music) 1259 01:00:13,250 --> 01:00:15,208 (objects clattering) 1260 01:00:25,125 --> 01:00:27,625 - All right, have a seat on the couch, ladies. 1261 01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:29,833 The communication between Terri and Kori 1262 01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:32,125 has been fractured for many years. 1263 01:00:32,208 --> 01:00:34,583 So I came up with an idea for each of them 1264 01:00:34,667 --> 01:00:36,500 to write a letter to one another 1265 01:00:36,583 --> 01:00:38,500 about how they feel about each other 1266 01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:41,375 and what they would like their relationship to look like. 1267 01:00:42,625 --> 01:00:44,708 The goal of writing these letters 1268 01:00:44,792 --> 01:00:50,042 has been to help you be able to express yourself, 1269 01:00:50,125 --> 01:00:53,125 because that's been really difficult for the two of you. 1270 01:00:53,208 --> 01:00:56,375 Are you ready to go ahead and read them? 1271 01:00:58,375 --> 01:01:00,708 (gentle music) 1272 01:01:04,083 --> 01:01:07,083 - If you really don't want to, I will read it. 1273 01:01:07,167 --> 01:01:09,125 - If you want to. - Okay. 1274 01:01:13,333 --> 01:01:15,625 "Dear mom, first off, I love you and I'm proud 1275 01:01:15,708 --> 01:01:17,542 for everything you are doing this week. 1276 01:01:17,542 --> 01:01:20,708 This clean out will make life for you so much easier 1277 01:01:20,792 --> 01:01:24,125 and hopefully, what it does for our relationship 1278 01:01:24,208 --> 01:01:25,375 in the future. 1279 01:01:25,458 --> 01:01:28,042 I want my mom to make an effort 1280 01:01:28,125 --> 01:01:30,417 at acknowledging me as your daughter. 1281 01:01:32,542 --> 01:01:35,792 How many times in my lifetime when I did something 1282 01:01:35,875 --> 01:01:39,250 you didn't approve of, did you look at me and say, 1283 01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:42,208 'You are not the daughter I raised'? 1284 01:01:42,292 --> 01:01:44,667 Mom, I need you to look past my false. 1285 01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:46,667 I am still your daughter. 1286 01:01:46,792 --> 01:01:48,917 You know, mom, I've had a lifetime 1287 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:50,875 of why wasn't I ever good enough 1288 01:01:50,958 --> 01:01:53,417 and why couldn't I be loved moments, 1289 01:01:54,708 --> 01:01:58,500 from my father as a kid, which all came out 1290 01:01:58,583 --> 01:02:01,208 when I lost it at his funeral. 1291 01:02:01,292 --> 01:02:04,625 I don't want to add those feelings 1292 01:02:04,708 --> 01:02:07,500 to the last part of my life with you. 1293 01:02:07,542 --> 01:02:11,042 I'm sorry for everything I've done wrong in your life 1294 01:02:11,125 --> 01:02:14,000 that I may have had a part in. 1295 01:02:14,083 --> 01:02:20,833 You're my mom and while we butt heads, I am a mini you. 1296 01:02:20,917 --> 01:02:24,208 Please find a way to love yourself again 1297 01:02:24,292 --> 01:02:26,792 so you can actually love me again, Kori." 1298 01:02:29,458 --> 01:02:31,000 I have always loved you. 1299 01:02:31,042 --> 01:02:33,083 There's never been a question of that. 1300 01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:38,625 I don't love some of the decisions you've made. 1301 01:02:38,708 --> 01:02:40,000 - I know. 1302 01:02:41,208 --> 01:02:43,583 - But I've never, ever stopped loving you. 1303 01:02:43,708 --> 01:02:45,958 (emotive music) 1304 01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:52,125 - Are you ready for your letter, Terri? 1305 01:02:53,458 --> 01:02:54,667 Can you read it, Kori? 1306 01:02:54,750 --> 01:02:56,167 - It says, "Dear Kori, in the future, 1307 01:02:56,208 --> 01:02:58,083 I would like to be able to spend time with you 1308 01:02:58,167 --> 01:03:01,583 without the bickering, snide remarks from either of us. 1309 01:03:01,708 --> 01:03:03,167 I wanna tell you how proud I am 1310 01:03:03,208 --> 01:03:06,000 of the woman you are becoming. Love, mom." 1311 01:03:13,542 --> 01:03:14,708 (Kori sniffles) 1312 01:03:14,792 --> 01:03:15,875 - Come here. 1313 01:03:19,375 --> 01:03:21,958 - This was the beginning of mending 1314 01:03:22,042 --> 01:03:24,500 some of the fracture in their relationship. 1315 01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:28,500 It seemed like they were really able to dig deep down 1316 01:03:28,542 --> 01:03:31,833 and talk to each other from their hearts. 1317 01:03:31,875 --> 01:03:38,125 This was probably the most important part 1318 01:03:38,125 --> 01:03:40,208 of this whole process. 1319 01:03:40,292 --> 01:03:47,000 Here is the rawness and the realness of the two of you 1320 01:03:47,125 --> 01:03:51,833 and I hope that you can really capitalize on that 1321 01:03:51,875 --> 01:03:56,333 and let go of the past and embrace the future. 1322 01:03:56,417 --> 01:03:59,208 Let's get to continuing the cleanup. 1323 01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:00,917 - Yes. - Okay. 1324 01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:05,500 (dumpster clanking) 1325 01:04:05,625 --> 01:04:07,500 (objects clattering) 1326 01:04:07,500 --> 01:04:09,667 - [Cory] Because the cleanup has gone so slow 1327 01:04:09,708 --> 01:04:11,042 over the last couple days 1328 01:04:11,125 --> 01:04:12,667 with Terri needing to make most of the decisions, 1329 01:04:12,792 --> 01:04:14,625 I need her to give me a new plan 1330 01:04:14,708 --> 01:04:17,417 or some way that we can get these two additional bedrooms 1331 01:04:17,500 --> 01:04:18,583 cleaned up quickly. 1332 01:04:18,667 --> 01:04:20,208 (tense music) 1333 01:04:20,292 --> 01:04:22,667 We don't have a lot of time left. 1334 01:04:22,792 --> 01:04:24,333 So with these last two bedrooms, 1335 01:04:24,375 --> 01:04:26,208 can we give up some control 1336 01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:28,667 so we can make some quick decisions 1337 01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:30,292 and maybe put Kori in one room 1338 01:04:30,375 --> 01:04:32,667 and put your granddaughters in another room 1339 01:04:32,792 --> 01:04:34,625 and just get through it? 1340 01:04:34,708 --> 01:04:35,708 - Yeah. 1341 01:04:35,792 --> 01:04:37,375 - [Cory] You're okay with that? - Yes. 1342 01:04:37,458 --> 01:04:38,833 - [Cory] All right, that would be perfect. 1343 01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,417 So thank you for giving up control. 1344 01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:42,167 You're getting better and better at this, I will say. 1345 01:04:42,250 --> 01:04:43,417 - [Dr. Zasio] Absolutely. 1346 01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:45,792 And I feel like, Terri, you are gaining speed 1347 01:04:45,875 --> 01:04:47,167 and you're gaining confidence. 1348 01:04:47,292 --> 01:04:49,167 The fact that you're delegating to Kori 1349 01:04:49,208 --> 01:04:52,292 demonstrates a lot of trust that you are building. 1350 01:04:52,375 --> 01:04:54,417 The fact that Terri is ready 1351 01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:56,667 to let her start making decisions 1352 01:04:56,750 --> 01:05:00,250 about her stuff independently is a really good sign. 1353 01:05:00,333 --> 01:05:02,250 - I'm gonna talk to my team, see where they're at. 1354 01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:05,333 Kori, if you can meet them in your mother's room. 1355 01:05:05,417 --> 01:05:08,125 - Okay. - [Cory] And granddaughters, 1356 01:05:08,125 --> 01:05:10,083 you guys can go in your mom's old room 1357 01:05:10,083 --> 01:05:11,917 and we will get started, sound good? 1358 01:05:11,917 --> 01:05:13,167 - Okay. 1359 01:05:13,208 --> 01:05:14,958 - [Cory] All right. - [Dr. Zasio] All right. 1360 01:05:14,958 --> 01:05:18,125 (intense music) (objects clattering) 1361 01:05:21,917 --> 01:05:23,417 - This goes to the pergola. 1362 01:05:25,917 --> 01:05:27,583 No, this one was grandma's. 1363 01:05:27,667 --> 01:05:29,583 - Okay, so keep sake? 1364 01:05:29,667 --> 01:05:31,000 - Yeah. - Storage? 1365 01:05:31,083 --> 01:05:32,000 - Yeah. 1366 01:05:32,083 --> 01:05:33,542 (tape pulling) 1367 01:05:34,750 --> 01:05:36,500 (glass clattering) 1368 01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:37,417 Stay back. 1369 01:05:39,042 --> 01:05:40,292 - [Kori] Oh, geez. 1370 01:05:47,833 --> 01:05:49,167 - [Cory] Let me clear a path. 1371 01:05:49,250 --> 01:05:50,833 We're kind of bottlenecked in here. 1372 01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:52,333 - [Zaria] Yeah. 1373 01:05:52,375 --> 01:05:55,292 (dramatic music) (objects clattering) 1374 01:06:03,542 --> 01:06:05,000 - You're getting down to the bottom, 1375 01:06:05,042 --> 01:06:06,667 where you're gonna have the rodent issue again. 1376 01:06:06,750 --> 01:06:08,000 - [Kori] Yeah. 1377 01:06:08,167 --> 01:06:09,500 (gentle music) 1378 01:06:09,583 --> 01:06:12,042 - [Cory] Terri's room is a complete disaster. 1379 01:06:13,375 --> 01:06:15,417 There's actual dead rodents, 1380 01:06:15,500 --> 01:06:18,042 a lot of rodent waste, and cat waste everywhere. 1381 01:06:18,125 --> 01:06:19,333 It's within her bed. 1382 01:06:19,417 --> 01:06:21,667 It's within all of the contents in this room. 1383 01:06:21,750 --> 01:06:23,583 - Wow. 1384 01:06:23,708 --> 01:06:26,167 - Peel that bed spread with all the hair and stuff. 1385 01:06:26,250 --> 01:06:27,333 Peel that back right there, 1386 01:06:27,417 --> 01:06:28,917 just a little bit so I can see underneath. 1387 01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:30,417 - [Kori] Oh my God. 1388 01:06:30,500 --> 01:06:32,167 - [Cory] See, so she can't sleep on this. 1389 01:06:32,208 --> 01:06:34,125 I mean, who knows what the mattress is like, but. 1390 01:06:34,208 --> 01:06:35,583 - [Kori] Right. 1391 01:06:35,667 --> 01:06:38,625 - Well, you can see, I mean, the urine right there. 1392 01:06:39,750 --> 01:06:41,167 - Look at the curtains. 1393 01:06:41,292 --> 01:06:42,917 There's like, matted hair stuck in the curtains itself. 1394 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:46,625 - It looks like a smashed rat, doesn't it? 1395 01:06:47,708 --> 01:06:49,208 - This is just yet another conversation 1396 01:06:49,292 --> 01:06:50,833 we have to have with her. - Yeah. 1397 01:06:50,917 --> 01:06:52,167 - To show her. 1398 01:06:53,542 --> 01:06:56,000 - Wasn't she saying that she wanted to keep this bedding? 1399 01:06:56,042 --> 01:07:01,083 - Well, I think ideally, she thought she wanted to keep it. 1400 01:07:01,167 --> 01:07:02,417 - [Dr. Zasio] Right. 1401 01:07:02,542 --> 01:07:04,583 - Where's that thing where the mice were living? 1402 01:07:04,708 --> 01:07:06,000 Yeah, like look, I mean, 1403 01:07:06,042 --> 01:07:07,083 they're just chewing bedding out of there 1404 01:07:07,208 --> 01:07:08,542 and taking it who knows where. 1405 01:07:08,667 --> 01:07:10,292 So this place is just full of them 1406 01:07:10,375 --> 01:07:14,042 and I really don't want to save anything fabric for sure. 1407 01:07:14,042 --> 01:07:15,500 - [Dr. Zasio] Mm-mm. 1408 01:07:15,583 --> 01:07:17,125 - You know, but then you can see on the air conditioner, 1409 01:07:17,208 --> 01:07:18,333 there's cat waste. 1410 01:07:18,375 --> 01:07:20,167 - I know, I can see that going down. 1411 01:07:20,250 --> 01:07:22,500 - [Cory] And we're finding a lot of that stuff. 1412 01:07:22,542 --> 01:07:24,875 (dramatic music) 1413 01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:27,583 We are seeing the extensive damage caused by the cats 1414 01:07:27,667 --> 01:07:28,792 and the rodents. 1415 01:07:28,875 --> 01:07:30,500 So at this point, we need to have a talk with Terri, 1416 01:07:30,542 --> 01:07:32,125 bring her in and show her this damage, 1417 01:07:32,250 --> 01:07:34,167 and hopefully she'll agree that it can all go. 1418 01:07:34,208 --> 01:07:35,792 (dramatic music) 1419 01:07:47,333 --> 01:07:49,250 (objects clattering) 1420 01:07:51,750 --> 01:07:53,625 - [Dr. Zasio] As we move through the house, 1421 01:07:53,708 --> 01:07:59,500 we're seeing rodent waste and urine everywhere, everywhere. 1422 01:07:59,583 --> 01:08:04,542 It has essentially damaged every item in that bedroom. 1423 01:08:08,083 --> 01:08:12,000 - Hey Terri, what's your thought just walking in here? 1424 01:08:12,083 --> 01:08:13,333 The first visual. 1425 01:08:13,417 --> 01:08:18,000 - Did not realize it would be this awful. 1426 01:08:18,083 --> 01:08:19,708 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. 1427 01:08:19,792 --> 01:08:22,208 - [Cory] So you understand our kind of reasoning 1428 01:08:22,292 --> 01:08:24,000 for why we're saying a lot of this 1429 01:08:24,083 --> 01:08:25,833 is just getting thrown away. 1430 01:08:25,875 --> 01:08:27,083 We peeled the blankets back 1431 01:08:27,167 --> 01:08:28,750 and you can see all the waste in there. 1432 01:08:30,833 --> 01:08:33,042 - [Kori] So all this is gonna have to go, mom. 1433 01:08:33,042 --> 01:08:34,417 - Yeah. 1434 01:08:34,542 --> 01:08:36,667 - And the mattress and box spring, we'll determine 1435 01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:39,958 once we can see it, they might be living in there too. 1436 01:08:40,042 --> 01:08:41,250 - Could very well be. 1437 01:08:41,333 --> 01:08:43,875 - [Cory] Okay, there's not much at this point 1438 01:08:45,375 --> 01:08:47,167 that we want to save, especially the fabric stuff. 1439 01:08:47,250 --> 01:08:48,917 - Oh, yeah. - [Cory] And the soft goods. 1440 01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,250 - Yeah. 1441 01:08:50,333 --> 01:08:52,125 - There won't be a lot left that you thought, 1442 01:08:52,250 --> 01:08:54,250 like, you were gonna have a bed. 1443 01:08:54,333 --> 01:08:55,667 This is again, the side effect 1444 01:08:55,750 --> 01:08:57,833 of not being able to come into a room for a long time. 1445 01:08:57,917 --> 01:08:59,333 - Yeah. 1446 01:08:59,375 --> 01:09:01,750 - The rodents just kind of take it over underneath. 1447 01:09:02,917 --> 01:09:04,333 Are you mad? Are you- 1448 01:09:04,458 --> 01:09:06,375 - At myself? Yeah. - Yeah? 1449 01:09:07,208 --> 01:09:08,292 - Yeah. 1450 01:09:08,375 --> 01:09:09,833 - You're mad at yourself. 1451 01:09:09,917 --> 01:09:12,250 Let this help you moving forward making decisions, 1452 01:09:12,250 --> 01:09:14,000 because if there's too much stuff, 1453 01:09:14,083 --> 01:09:15,167 it's gonna be the same problem. 1454 01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:17,375 There's gonna be hiding spots and living places. 1455 01:09:17,458 --> 01:09:18,958 - Yeah, there won't be. 1456 01:09:19,042 --> 01:09:21,500 - Okay, good, I like that. 1457 01:09:21,583 --> 01:09:23,458 - Cory and his team have permission 1458 01:09:23,542 --> 01:09:26,333 to get rid of anything in here- 1459 01:09:26,417 --> 01:09:28,417 - Yeah, anything they need to. 1460 01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:29,875 - Anything they need to, okay. 1461 01:09:32,375 --> 01:09:33,750 - [Cory] She seems bothered by this. 1462 01:09:33,875 --> 01:09:35,583 - I think that that's a healthy response. 1463 01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:38,167 One, that she's disgusted by it. 1464 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,667 Two, that she doesn't wanna look at it. 1465 01:09:40,750 --> 01:09:42,167 I don't think it's avoidance. 1466 01:09:42,208 --> 01:09:44,917 I think it's just like this is the reality 1467 01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:47,542 and she's angry at herself for letting this happen 1468 01:09:47,667 --> 01:09:50,500 and that's a healthy response. 1469 01:09:50,625 --> 01:09:54,833 This is a watershed moment because Terri is now seeing 1470 01:09:54,917 --> 01:09:58,833 the extent of the destruction that's happened. 1471 01:09:58,917 --> 01:10:00,917 She's angry with herself. 1472 01:10:01,042 --> 01:10:03,625 She recognizes that she does need to make 1473 01:10:03,708 --> 01:10:06,375 a sweeping decision to let everything go. 1474 01:10:07,375 --> 01:10:09,917 - The best thing we did was bring her in here. 1475 01:10:09,917 --> 01:10:11,250 I think it sank in. 1476 01:10:11,333 --> 01:10:14,333 I do, and I hope out there she makes some better decisions, 1477 01:10:14,375 --> 01:10:16,125 'cause she really seemed bothered by this. 1478 01:10:16,208 --> 01:10:18,500 (tense music) 1479 01:10:28,375 --> 01:10:29,542 - Hi, Terri. 1480 01:10:29,625 --> 01:10:31,583 - Hello. - Hello. 1481 01:10:32,958 --> 01:10:34,125 Sorting through some stuff? 1482 01:10:34,208 --> 01:10:36,792 - Yeah, figured I'd better keep moving if we're gonna. 1483 01:10:36,875 --> 01:10:37,875 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. 1484 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:39,208 - That's what we're here to talk about actually. 1485 01:10:39,333 --> 01:10:41,792 So we're just here to kind of address 1486 01:10:41,875 --> 01:10:44,542 all of this stuff, mainly, the keep stuff. 1487 01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:48,500 It's the afternoon of day three and we're realizing 1488 01:10:48,542 --> 01:10:51,167 how many boxes we have that she wants to save. 1489 01:10:51,292 --> 01:10:53,500 Our fear is that all these boxes are just gonna get shoved 1490 01:10:53,583 --> 01:10:54,667 into a room or into the garage 1491 01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:56,667 and she'll never even be able to access 'em. 1492 01:10:56,750 --> 01:10:58,750 So we're trying to get her to let go. 1493 01:10:58,875 --> 01:11:02,958 My only concern is where all this stuff is gonna go. 1494 01:11:03,042 --> 01:11:06,375 All together, you have about 70 boxes that are full, 1495 01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:08,625 not including all this sorting area. 1496 01:11:09,792 --> 01:11:11,250 We're pushing extra hard right now 1497 01:11:11,333 --> 01:11:12,625 because it's the last afternoon 1498 01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:14,833 where we can really have some work done. 1499 01:11:16,833 --> 01:11:19,167 If there's anything you can let go of 1500 01:11:19,208 --> 01:11:21,042 or thin out even more than you have, 1501 01:11:21,125 --> 01:11:22,833 that's what we're asking. 1502 01:11:22,875 --> 01:11:27,542 - The amount of glass that you have, are you holding onto it 1503 01:11:27,625 --> 01:11:30,833 because you wanna pass it down generation to generation? 1504 01:11:30,875 --> 01:11:35,833 Your house isn't big enough to display it all, we know that. 1505 01:11:35,833 --> 01:11:37,167 - I know. 1506 01:11:37,250 --> 01:11:40,542 - Movies, mom, what movies are you actually gonna watch? 1507 01:11:40,625 --> 01:11:42,542 - Well, the ones that were in that container 1508 01:11:42,625 --> 01:11:46,000 next to the chair that's been dumped somewhere. 1509 01:11:46,042 --> 01:11:49,833 - Well, I'm just saying, go through the movies, 1510 01:11:49,917 --> 01:11:51,500 see which movies you're gonna watch, 1511 01:11:51,583 --> 01:11:53,125 which ones you really don't wanna keep. 1512 01:11:53,208 --> 01:11:54,583 - [Terri] I did that. 1513 01:11:54,667 --> 01:11:56,125 - Do you think we're talking reasonable 1514 01:11:56,208 --> 01:11:59,167 or do you think it doesn't make sense what we're saying? 1515 01:11:59,208 --> 01:12:00,333 And that's really important. 1516 01:12:00,500 --> 01:12:02,417 If you don't think that we're being reasonable, 1517 01:12:02,542 --> 01:12:05,125 then we wanna hear that. 1518 01:12:05,125 --> 01:12:06,458 - Like I told one of the girls, 1519 01:12:06,542 --> 01:12:08,417 this is hard because this is my whole life 1520 01:12:08,542 --> 01:12:10,792 and you're going through it and trashing it. 1521 01:12:14,042 --> 01:12:16,333 - We are not doing anything, 1522 01:12:16,375 --> 01:12:19,375 you're telling us what to do, Terri. 1523 01:12:19,458 --> 01:12:22,458 I think that some of Terri's blaming us 1524 01:12:22,542 --> 01:12:24,500 for the things that have gone in the dumpster 1525 01:12:24,542 --> 01:12:27,500 is a way for her to not take responsibility. 1526 01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:29,833 It's a way to be angry at us 1527 01:12:29,917 --> 01:12:32,417 rather than deal with the feelings 1528 01:12:32,542 --> 01:12:35,167 of what has led to this problem, 1529 01:12:35,208 --> 01:12:38,458 which is her excessive accumulation of stuff. 1530 01:12:40,042 --> 01:12:42,000 - Okay, I'm telling you to get rid of it. 1531 01:12:42,083 --> 01:12:45,167 - Terri, you're not meaning what you're telling us. 1532 01:12:45,250 --> 01:12:48,333 You're not talking through a solution with us. 1533 01:12:48,417 --> 01:12:51,208 You're just giving in, knowing what we want 1534 01:12:51,375 --> 01:12:55,542 and saying what we want, and so that's the concern for us, 1535 01:12:55,625 --> 01:12:57,875 is that we do this and we're just traumatizing you 1536 01:12:57,958 --> 01:13:00,208 and that's not what we're here to do. 1537 01:13:00,292 --> 01:13:04,542 - Cory, I feel like at this point, Terri's not ready. 1538 01:13:04,625 --> 01:13:07,583 This was a big deal for her in the first place. 1539 01:13:07,708 --> 01:13:10,083 She has gotten rid of two full dumpsters. 1540 01:13:10,167 --> 01:13:14,708 There's been a lot of loss with her bedroom and her stuff, 1541 01:13:14,833 --> 01:13:21,833 and you're saying, Terri, that this is your whole life. 1542 01:13:21,917 --> 01:13:23,667 (tense music) 1543 01:13:23,792 --> 01:13:26,583 - In that case, do you want us to fill the garage? 1544 01:13:26,667 --> 01:13:29,750 Because it might rain. - Or Kori's room. 1545 01:13:29,833 --> 01:13:31,708 Which do you think would keep it safer? 1546 01:13:31,792 --> 01:13:34,208 - Garage. - [Cory] Okay. 1547 01:13:34,292 --> 01:13:36,500 Sounds good, thank you. 1548 01:13:36,583 --> 01:13:38,792 (tense music) 1549 01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:42,458 We're gonna be literally filling up her garage 1550 01:13:42,542 --> 01:13:44,792 with dozens and dozens of boxes. 1551 01:13:44,875 --> 01:13:46,792 She's not gonna be able to open 'em or look at 'em 1552 01:13:46,875 --> 01:13:47,833 because they're gonna be stacked high 1553 01:13:47,958 --> 01:13:49,042 and they're gonna be stacked deep. 1554 01:13:49,125 --> 01:13:50,417 So what's the point of keeping 'em? 1555 01:13:50,500 --> 01:13:51,792 It's just like before. 1556 01:13:54,042 --> 01:13:56,167 (intense music) 1557 01:14:01,875 --> 01:14:03,042 - Can you hold that for me? 1558 01:14:03,125 --> 01:14:04,708 - [Kori] Mm-hmm. Do you need help? 1559 01:14:04,792 --> 01:14:06,583 - No, I got it, I think. 1560 01:14:06,667 --> 01:14:09,917 (dramatic music) 1561 01:14:27,583 --> 01:14:29,917 (furniture clattering) 1562 01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:32,583 - God, look at those rodent droppings, that's disgusting. 1563 01:14:32,667 --> 01:14:34,917 (tense music) 1564 01:14:35,958 --> 01:14:39,458 - [Dr. Zasio] Today was very intense and it was a long day. 1565 01:14:39,458 --> 01:14:43,417 I'm hoping that tonight, Terri will think 1566 01:14:43,500 --> 01:14:46,333 about the decisions she did make 1567 01:14:46,375 --> 01:14:49,500 and take responsibility for that. 1568 01:14:49,542 --> 01:14:51,500 (tense music) (objects clattering) 1569 01:14:51,625 --> 01:14:53,833 We have one final push tomorrow. 1570 01:14:53,917 --> 01:14:56,167 I'm hoping that with the remaining items 1571 01:14:56,208 --> 01:14:57,625 she needs to sort through, 1572 01:14:57,708 --> 01:15:00,417 that she'll be able to increase her decision making 1573 01:15:00,500 --> 01:15:02,833 with regard to what to get rid of. 1574 01:15:02,917 --> 01:15:05,208 (suspenseful music) 1575 01:15:17,708 --> 01:15:19,667 (wind wooshing) 1576 01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:20,875 (shovel scraping) 1577 01:15:20,958 --> 01:15:22,667 - [Cory] So it's the start of the final day 1578 01:15:22,708 --> 01:15:24,958 and this is a big day, there's a lot to do. 1579 01:15:25,042 --> 01:15:27,250 I need to get a little morning meeting, talk to Terri 1580 01:15:27,375 --> 01:15:30,875 and just kinda outline things that we have to get done. 1581 01:15:30,958 --> 01:15:33,042 Kori, Annika and Zaria, 1582 01:15:33,125 --> 01:15:35,708 I need all of you guys at the sorting tables, okay? 1583 01:15:35,792 --> 01:15:37,708 There's a couple tables left of stuff. 1584 01:15:37,792 --> 01:15:39,417 Box it up, send it somewhere. 1585 01:15:39,542 --> 01:15:41,042 Unless there's something really important. 1586 01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:42,750 I'd rather not bring anything back in. 1587 01:15:42,833 --> 01:15:44,583 Our guys are gonna come in, the maids are gonna come in. 1588 01:15:44,667 --> 01:15:46,042 We're gonna start getting rid of this carpet. 1589 01:15:46,125 --> 01:15:48,250 Carpet in the hall, carpet in your bedroom, 1590 01:15:48,333 --> 01:15:50,792 and just kind of getting everything cleaned and emptied. 1591 01:15:50,875 --> 01:15:53,500 So if you guys are good with that, I say, let's go. 1592 01:15:53,583 --> 01:15:54,667 - Okay. 1593 01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:56,125 - All right, anything you want? 1594 01:15:57,208 --> 01:15:59,417 - How did you sleep last night, any better? 1595 01:16:00,542 --> 01:16:02,333 - I blinked twice, that was good. 1596 01:16:03,667 --> 01:16:05,917 - So what was on your mind last night? 1597 01:16:07,542 --> 01:16:09,000 - Everything. 1598 01:16:09,042 --> 01:16:13,417 The extent that everybody's gone to, to help me out. 1599 01:16:14,875 --> 01:16:16,792 I feel like I'll never be able to repay 1600 01:16:19,042 --> 01:16:21,625 all the effort everybody's put into it 1601 01:16:21,708 --> 01:16:24,250 and I very much appreciate it. 1602 01:16:24,333 --> 01:16:25,542 - [Cory] Thank you. 1603 01:16:25,625 --> 01:16:27,917 - But for someone who's paved their own way 1604 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:34,083 all of their life, this isn't an easy thing to accept, so. 1605 01:16:36,875 --> 01:16:39,583 - Can I just say that is the first time 1606 01:16:39,708 --> 01:16:41,292 you've explained anything 1607 01:16:41,375 --> 01:16:44,000 and it helps us understand what you're going through. 1608 01:16:44,042 --> 01:16:46,917 So thank you for sharing that and I know that's hard. 1609 01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:49,417 - That has repaid us, a hundred percent. 1610 01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:52,792 Just expressing your gratitude and appreciation 1611 01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:55,833 means the world to us, so I just wanna let you know. 1612 01:16:56,708 --> 01:16:58,250 - [Kori] Proud of you, mom. 1613 01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:01,125 - Thank you. 1614 01:17:02,167 --> 01:17:04,958 - And thank you for letting me get them here. 1615 01:17:08,375 --> 01:17:10,583 - It was such a breakthrough 1616 01:17:10,667 --> 01:17:13,333 to hear her gratitude when all week, 1617 01:17:13,417 --> 01:17:16,000 it seems like she's been doing nothing but blaming us 1618 01:17:16,042 --> 01:17:18,375 for all the things that she thinks we're doing wrong. 1619 01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:19,958 So this is a great sign 1620 01:17:20,042 --> 01:17:22,458 because I know we're on the home stretch. 1621 01:17:22,458 --> 01:17:24,667 - They're waiting outside to get in here and start cleaning. 1622 01:17:24,750 --> 01:17:26,292 - [Both] Let's go. 1623 01:17:26,375 --> 01:17:28,417 (suspenseful music) 1624 01:17:33,792 --> 01:17:35,417 - It can go. 1625 01:17:35,500 --> 01:17:37,167 That can go. - Okay. 1626 01:17:37,208 --> 01:17:39,125 - [Terri] No. (glass clinking) 1627 01:17:39,208 --> 01:17:40,833 - So we're down to the final crunch here 1628 01:17:40,958 --> 01:17:42,958 and we have all kinds of things going on in this house. 1629 01:17:43,042 --> 01:17:45,583 (suspenseful music) (carpet ripping) 1630 01:17:45,667 --> 01:17:47,250 We have my guys tearing up carpet. 1631 01:17:52,208 --> 01:17:54,542 We have a plumber in the bathroom putting a toilet in. 1632 01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:56,667 The HVAC people are here right now. 1633 01:17:56,792 --> 01:17:58,833 They're checking all the systems in the furnace, 1634 01:17:58,958 --> 01:18:00,583 which seems to be just an igniter problem, 1635 01:18:00,667 --> 01:18:01,833 which is pretty easy to fix. 1636 01:18:01,875 --> 01:18:03,042 There it is. 1637 01:18:04,083 --> 01:18:07,125 (dramatic music) (objects clattering) 1638 01:18:07,208 --> 01:18:09,083 The maids are here, mopping and cleaning everything. 1639 01:18:09,167 --> 01:18:10,500 This couldn't be more chaotic. 1640 01:18:10,583 --> 01:18:11,792 All these people in the house 1641 01:18:11,875 --> 01:18:13,333 doing all the last minute details. 1642 01:18:14,833 --> 01:18:15,917 Putting out all the glassware 1643 01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,750 and flowers and setting things up. 1644 01:18:17,833 --> 01:18:20,042 (dramatic music) 1645 01:18:30,333 --> 01:18:32,458 (gentle music) 1646 01:18:36,500 --> 01:18:37,583 (door creaking) 1647 01:18:38,750 --> 01:18:40,292 Welcome home. - [Dr. Zasio] Hello! 1648 01:18:40,375 --> 01:18:43,167 - Wow! - Come on in to your home. 1649 01:18:43,208 --> 01:18:44,500 - That's nice. 1650 01:18:44,625 --> 01:18:46,417 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. 1651 01:18:46,542 --> 01:18:48,458 (gentle music) 1652 01:18:49,583 --> 01:18:50,792 - [Cory] What do you think, 1653 01:18:50,875 --> 01:18:52,125 opening your front door and seeing furniture? 1654 01:18:52,208 --> 01:18:54,042 - [Terri] Oh, I love it, I love it. 1655 01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:57,083 - [Dr. Zasio] You got a smile on your face there. 1656 01:18:58,583 --> 01:19:02,000 Look at your beautiful glassware. 1657 01:19:02,042 --> 01:19:05,208 You've stepped out of the hoarding 1658 01:19:05,292 --> 01:19:07,958 and you're now actually embracing 1659 01:19:08,042 --> 01:19:09,500 the collector part of you. 1660 01:19:09,583 --> 01:19:10,667 It looks beautiful. 1661 01:19:10,750 --> 01:19:12,542 - [Terri] Yeah. - [Kori] Awesome. 1662 01:19:12,667 --> 01:19:13,833 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah! 1663 01:19:17,708 --> 01:19:18,917 - [Terri] Oh, wow. 1664 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,292 (gentle piano music) 1665 01:19:22,375 --> 01:19:26,583 - A pretty dramatic difference from where we started. 1666 01:19:26,708 --> 01:19:28,583 - Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. 1667 01:19:28,667 --> 01:19:32,208 - [Cory] Yes, that ammonia smell is almost gone. 1668 01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:33,625 I can only smell cleaning solutions now. 1669 01:19:33,708 --> 01:19:34,792 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. - Yeah. 1670 01:19:34,917 --> 01:19:36,292 - [Cory] What a dramatic difference, 1671 01:19:36,417 --> 01:19:38,000 just getting all that carpet, that saturated carpet out 1672 01:19:38,042 --> 01:19:40,125 really took out 90% of that odor. 1673 01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,542 - [Dr. Zasio] You do have a table, 1674 01:19:42,625 --> 01:19:44,125 where you can have a guest over. 1675 01:19:44,208 --> 01:19:46,833 You can have your father over, your granddaughters, Kori, 1676 01:19:46,875 --> 01:19:48,792 whoever you want. 1677 01:19:48,875 --> 01:19:51,625 It's a safe kitchen, it's a clean kitchen. 1678 01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:53,333 Everything is here now 1679 01:19:53,417 --> 01:19:55,500 for you to decide if you wanna cook here 1680 01:19:55,542 --> 01:19:56,708 or go to dad's house. 1681 01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:59,083 - Yep. That would be nice. 1682 01:19:59,167 --> 01:20:00,792 - You wanna go see the rest? - [Terri] Yeah. 1683 01:20:00,875 --> 01:20:02,417 - There's more. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1684 01:20:04,875 --> 01:20:06,125 - [Cory] Bathroom. 1685 01:20:07,833 --> 01:20:09,917 (gentle music) 1686 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:11,417 - [Terri] Look at that. 1687 01:20:11,417 --> 01:20:14,000 - [Cory] So the plumbing is fixed in here. 1688 01:20:14,083 --> 01:20:16,875 You can bathe, you can shower, you can use the toilet. 1689 01:20:16,958 --> 01:20:19,375 I'll turn the water on before I leave. 1690 01:20:19,500 --> 01:20:20,667 - Yeah, nice. 1691 01:20:20,792 --> 01:20:22,333 - All right, you ready to see more? 1692 01:20:22,417 --> 01:20:24,292 - [Terri] Mm-hmm, yes. - All right. 1693 01:20:28,792 --> 01:20:30,083 - [Terri] Hi, babies. 1694 01:20:30,167 --> 01:20:31,958 - [Cory] We built you just a little craft area 1695 01:20:31,958 --> 01:20:33,958 to get started. - Yeah. 1696 01:20:34,042 --> 01:20:36,000 - [Cory] Where you can do your arts and painting 1697 01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:38,833 and crocheting and whatever else interests you 1698 01:20:38,917 --> 01:20:41,583 so that you have something to be passionate about again. 1699 01:20:41,708 --> 01:20:43,125 - Mm-hmm. 1700 01:20:43,208 --> 01:20:45,458 I feel better when I'm creating something. 1701 01:20:45,542 --> 01:20:46,333 - Yeah. 1702 01:20:46,417 --> 01:20:47,875 - And then I think the final thing 1703 01:20:47,958 --> 01:20:49,250 that we just wanna mention 1704 01:20:49,333 --> 01:20:52,333 is that there is a place for your dad if need be, 1705 01:20:52,375 --> 01:20:53,833 and that's pretty important. 1706 01:20:53,917 --> 01:20:55,250 - Yes, it is. - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. 1707 01:20:55,333 --> 01:20:56,792 - Yeah, we couldn't change this room too much 1708 01:20:56,875 --> 01:20:58,375 because of that. - Yeah. 1709 01:20:58,375 --> 01:21:01,375 - You ready to see the last room and my favorite room? 1710 01:21:01,500 --> 01:21:02,708 (Dr. Zasio laughs) 1711 01:21:02,792 --> 01:21:05,000 Good, let's go look at your bedroom. 1712 01:21:05,042 --> 01:21:06,750 (light music) 1713 01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:09,500 - Oh, wow. (Dr. Zasio laughs) 1714 01:21:12,417 --> 01:21:13,708 I love it. 1715 01:21:13,792 --> 01:21:15,083 - [Cory] That's the biggest smile I've seen all week. 1716 01:21:15,208 --> 01:21:16,833 - I love it. - [Cory] Do you? 1717 01:21:16,875 --> 01:21:18,167 - Yeah! - [Cory] Good. 1718 01:21:18,333 --> 01:21:20,750 - Yeah, this would be something I absolutely would pick. 1719 01:21:20,833 --> 01:21:22,042 Yeah, I would definitely pick that. 1720 01:21:22,208 --> 01:21:23,708 - I'm glad you like it. 1721 01:21:23,708 --> 01:21:25,292 - This, I love it. 1722 01:21:25,375 --> 01:21:27,583 - [Cory] So glad to hear that. - Yeah. 1723 01:21:27,667 --> 01:21:33,500 - She just seems happy and I'm happy that she's happy. 1724 01:21:35,875 --> 01:21:38,000 - Looks like it used to. 1725 01:21:38,083 --> 01:21:39,708 - [Terri] Yeah. - So will you sleep here? 1726 01:21:39,833 --> 01:21:41,542 No more couch? 1727 01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:43,500 - No more couch. - Okay. 1728 01:21:43,583 --> 01:21:45,667 - Awesome, amazing. 1729 01:21:47,667 --> 01:21:49,708 Mom gets to sleep in her bed. 1730 01:21:49,792 --> 01:21:51,208 - [Dr. Zasio] Yeah. 1731 01:21:51,292 --> 01:21:53,500 - [Kori] All the sacrifices over the last week 1732 01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:57,083 that my family and I have made have definitely been worth it 1733 01:21:59,042 --> 01:22:01,125 to see my mom where she's at right now. 1734 01:22:02,792 --> 01:22:04,667 - It's been a long week, right? 1735 01:22:04,750 --> 01:22:08,583 I just wanna acknowledge that everyone worked through 1736 01:22:08,667 --> 01:22:10,292 all the difficulties, okay. 1737 01:22:10,375 --> 01:22:12,792 Lot of struggles emotionally, physically, 1738 01:22:12,875 --> 01:22:14,333 but you made it. 1739 01:22:14,417 --> 01:22:16,500 I've seen you smile more in the last 20 minutes 1740 01:22:16,625 --> 01:22:17,542 than I have all week. 1741 01:22:17,667 --> 01:22:19,333 So I know inside, there's some happiness, 1742 01:22:19,417 --> 01:22:21,292 which is so important to recognize. 1743 01:22:21,375 --> 01:22:23,042 But you did it and here we are. 1744 01:22:24,208 --> 01:22:26,125 We got past not only the clutter, 1745 01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:28,208 so if you had to get your roof done and you had 1746 01:22:28,292 --> 01:22:30,000 an inspection, that's not gonna be an issue now. 1747 01:22:30,083 --> 01:22:31,375 Would you have any trouble letting someone 1748 01:22:31,458 --> 01:22:32,833 in your house now to do an inspection? 1749 01:22:32,958 --> 01:22:34,042 - No. 1750 01:22:34,125 --> 01:22:36,292 - Right, we got your heater fixed. 1751 01:22:36,375 --> 01:22:37,917 We got the gas turned on. 1752 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,667 So no more space heaters, you don't need those anymore. 1753 01:22:40,750 --> 01:22:43,417 If your father needs to come, his room is there, 1754 01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,917 it's decluttered, ready for him. 1755 01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:46,917 And all the crises are solved. 1756 01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:49,333 It's really a normal house again. 1757 01:22:49,417 --> 01:22:52,667 So congratulations to you for getting us here. 1758 01:22:52,750 --> 01:22:55,500 - Something that I really wanna capitalize on 1759 01:22:55,583 --> 01:23:00,583 is the concept of communication, and you increased 1760 01:23:00,708 --> 01:23:03,292 the communication as the days continued. 1761 01:23:03,375 --> 01:23:06,250 In the topic of communication, 1762 01:23:06,333 --> 01:23:08,833 Kori, this was the letter that you wrote to your mom, 1763 01:23:08,917 --> 01:23:13,000 and I wanna give this back to you because if there's a time 1764 01:23:13,042 --> 01:23:15,208 in which the communication begins to start 1765 01:23:15,292 --> 01:23:16,500 to break down a little bit, 1766 01:23:16,542 --> 01:23:18,625 I want you to go back to this letter, 1767 01:23:18,708 --> 01:23:22,250 which reflects the relationship that you want with your mother, 1768 01:23:22,333 --> 01:23:24,000 and I don't know where your letter is. 1769 01:23:24,083 --> 01:23:26,000 I'm hoping you put it somewhere nice and safe 1770 01:23:26,125 --> 01:23:27,833 and that kind of thing. - I have it. 1771 01:23:27,875 --> 01:23:29,000 - You have it, awesome! 1772 01:23:29,042 --> 01:23:31,708 So I'm gonna give this back to you 1773 01:23:31,792 --> 01:23:36,333 and just really wanna send you with the reminder 1774 01:23:36,417 --> 01:23:38,458 that we only have one go around, 1775 01:23:38,458 --> 01:23:39,708 and this is your only daughter, 1776 01:23:39,833 --> 01:23:41,500 and this is your only mother. 1777 01:23:41,583 --> 01:23:44,208 What matters is what is happening right here, 1778 01:23:44,292 --> 01:23:47,125 and that's the two of you standing in your home 1779 01:23:47,208 --> 01:23:49,333 without the stuff separating you. 1780 01:23:50,667 --> 01:23:53,000 Not only has there been a transformation in Terri, 1781 01:23:53,042 --> 01:23:55,167 but there's been one in Kori too. 1782 01:23:55,250 --> 01:23:59,083 There is so much less tension between Kori and Terri. 1783 01:23:59,167 --> 01:24:00,625 You can just see it. 1784 01:24:00,708 --> 01:24:03,250 - This has been a good start for my daughter and I 1785 01:24:03,375 --> 01:24:08,125 to start rebuilding the relationship we had 1786 01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,667 when she was in grade school. 1787 01:24:10,708 --> 01:24:14,250 So as long as she's willing to work on it, 1788 01:24:14,333 --> 01:24:15,958 I certainly am too. 1789 01:24:16,042 --> 01:24:17,708 Bring it in. - It's the cuddle train. 1790 01:24:17,792 --> 01:24:19,542 - [Zaria] Bring it in. 1791 01:24:20,833 --> 01:24:24,000 - [Terri] Okay, we're done. (everyone laughing) 1792 01:24:24,083 --> 01:24:26,417 (dramatic music)