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00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:04,753
♪ ♪
2
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-LINDA: Dumb
overstuffed closet...
-Hello.
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I'm fancy dad shoe hands.
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♪ Doo, doo-doo,
doo-doo, doo-doo. ♪
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That's how Dad should wear them.
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Oh. All of you... are in here.
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Uh, I hope you don't mind,
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I'm gonna get dressed now,
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and there's gonna be nudity.
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Yeah, we've seen that movie.
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It doesn't scare us anymore.
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(grunting)
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Uh, Lin, w-what are you doing?
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I'm cleaning out
our closet, Bob.
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I tried to get a blanket
from the top shelf
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and all this fell on me.
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It was like Flashdance,
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but instead of water
splashing down,
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it was all our junk.
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There's too much stuff in here.
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We got to get rid of some of it.
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Like this. What is this?
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It's a humidifier.
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Oh, right. We got this
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and then it got really,
really moist in here
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and we got mold.
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Add it to the list of ways
we've gotten mold.
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(grunts) Okay, and then
there's this thing.
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LOUISE: What's that?
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The world's first R2-D2?
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Oh. No, that's my
Grandma Alice's radio.
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Your Grandma Alice's
unbelievably heavy radio.
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-What, does this thing
have bricks in it?
-Possibly?
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I-I think people used to like
things that were heavy.
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I remember that radio.
Sort of. Hi.
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Bob, I know this
is your grandma's,
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but maybe it's time
to say goodbye?
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I mean, didn't the guy
at the repair shop
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say it was totally unfixable?
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-Like Dad's posture.
-Mm.
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But Lin, we can't get rid
of the radio.
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It-It's a family heirloom.
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This is an heirloom?
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You guys couldn't have
handed us down,
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like, a bunch of fancy
gold forks or something?
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Well, does it
at least play MP3s?
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-BOB: Uh... no.
-GENE: Hmph.
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When it worked,
it had AM and FM,
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and, uh, this one had shortwave.
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Which is really cool.
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You can listen to broadcasts
from all over the world.
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-If it worked it could do that.
-Yes.
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But it doesn't,
'cause it's broken.
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Right. You know the story
behind this radio, right?
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I-I know I've told it to you.
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I remember that
there was a story
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and the radio was in it?
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I kind of remember it.
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It's about your grandmother
helping a soldier
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with a badly burned face?
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No, uh, I-I think that's
The English Patient.
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I remember the story
about great-grandma.
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There was something
about a spy, right?
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Wait, we have a family story
with a spy in it?
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Why don't I know this?
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I guess it's been a while
since I've told it.
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You might've been pretty little.
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Do you guys want
me to tell it again?
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-Yeah.
-Yes.
-No, I don't want to hear
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about our family spy story.
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Yes, tell it again!
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I mean, we were cleaning
the closet, but go ahead.
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Okay, so, it was the summer
in 1941 during World War II...
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When English patients were
losing their faces
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all over the place.
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Um, sure. Anyway...
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My grandmother Alice
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lived in Red Point, Brooklyn
with her mother,
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my great-grandmother Gertie.
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There was a shipyard there
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where they made submarines
for the Navy.
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Alice was a new mom
to my mom, Lily,
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-who was a baby at the time.
-(Lily crying)
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LINDA:
Aw. Baby mama.
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BOB: And this is while
Alice's husband,
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my grandpa Billy, was overseas.
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Men. Am I right?
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I mean, he was a soldier.
Fighting in the war.
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I guess that's a decent excuse.
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-BOB: Lily was about
six months old...
-(shushing)
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...and she was waking up
a lot during the night--
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LINDA:
Oof, I remember those days.
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I'm still mad at you kids
about that.
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Okay, baby, okay, all right.
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(shushing)
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BOB:
And once Lily got going,
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nothing really calmed her down,
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except for the static
on the radio.
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This very specific static.
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My grandmother
basically invented
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the first white noise machine.
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-GENE: So we're rich.
-BOB: Uh, no.
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Ah, dang it. Where is it?
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The baby's crying. A lot.
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Yes. Thanks, Ma, that's helpful.
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Hey, I would love it
if we could leave the radio
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on the shortwave static
that Lily likes? Please?
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Sure, but the problem is that
I like to listen to music
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and people talking
during the day
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and my programs aren't on
the crying baby static channel.
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Well, I'd move the radio
into her room,
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but who can move this thing?
You know?
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Somebody moved it.
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They didn't build
the building around it.
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(pigeons fluttering)
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Oop. Lily's got
the pigeons going again.
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BOB: Their apartment was on
the top floor of the building
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and my grandfather Billy
kept a pigeon coop on the roof.
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Alice and Gertie were taking
care of it while he was away.
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GENE: Sounds like a recipe
for pigeon poop roof soup.
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I'm gonna close the window.
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We don't get to sleep, but
the rest of the neighborhood
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shouldn't have to suffer.
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Uh, no. Ma, no,
it's boiling in here.
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Uh, I don't want
to accidentally cook the baby.
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I think it's frowned upon.
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-(soft static)
-There it is.
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-Okay, okay, okay...
-(Lily quiets)
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Oh, thank God.
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All right,
I'm going back to bed.
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Good night,
you little screamy mimi.
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Good night.
Good night, good night.
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Hey, try listening
to this station during the day.
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-(fussing quietly)
-You might like it.
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Okay, eyes are
starting to close.
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♪ Go to sleep ♪
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Um...
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♪ There's the guy that... ♪
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♪ Like, I think
his name is Rolo? ♪
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♪ I never say it
'cause I'm not confident ♪
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♪ That it's Rolo ♪
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♪ Why is he taking the trash
out so late at night? ♪
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♪ Maybe it smells ♪
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♪ And there's my neighbor
Mr. Miller ♪
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♪ Just leaving food
for the stray cats ♪
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♪ And probably stray raccoons ♪
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♪ I guess that all raccoons
are technically stray... ♪
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LINDA:
Aw. Old-timey raccoons.
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More about them? No, no,
never mind, keep going.
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♪ And there's
my other neighbor Peter ♪
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♪ Coming home
from the shipyard ♪
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♪ Working kind of late
there, Peter ♪
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♪ Second shift, probably ♪
154
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♪ I'm running out
of stuff to sing. ♪
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Oh, you're asleep. Thank God.
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BOB:
But a few hours later,
Lily woke up again.
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-(crying)
-LOUISE: I feel like this story
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is, like, 80% crying baby
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and not enough percent spy.
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BOB:
Shh. I'm getting to that.
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Oh, sweetie.
It is 4:30 in the morning.
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You should really try sleeping.
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It's so great.
Everybody's talking about it.
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Okay, here you go.
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-(static hissing softly)
-Here's your static.
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(man speaking German on radio)
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Huh?
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BOB:
All of a sudden,
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the static stopped
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and Alice heard someone
speaking German.
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LOUISE:
Yes. Spy.
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...Schofield boat company.
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(gasps)
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BOB:
Alice recognized
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the name of the shipyard,
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which was right
at the end of her street.
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-(crying)
-Oh, no, no, no. No, no.
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BOB: And then, because
the static had stopped,
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Lily started to cry again.
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Okay, it's okay. (shushing)
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-(Lily crying)
-(crying echoes through radio)
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(gasps)
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BOB: But then something
really strange happened:
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Alice heard Lily's cry
through the radio.
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-(pigeons fluttering)
-And then the pigeons
on the roof got riled up
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because of Lily's crying.
187
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And then Alice heard
the pigeons on the radio.
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Which could only mean one thing.
189
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Pigeons... don't like babies?
190
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No. Or... maybe.
191
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It meant that
the radio transmission
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was coming from
the roof of Alice's building.
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Right above her head.
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Oh, my God.
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-A German spy is on my roof.
-LOUISE: Ha-ha!
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GENE:
Der Kommissar's in town. Uh-oh.
197
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A spy on the roof.
That's so much worse
198
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than when we had
that squirrel in the attic.
199
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-We named him Flowers.
-Ugh, I'm so glad we never heard
200
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a German spy when we were
up at night with you kids
201
00:06:32,784 --> 00:06:33,758
when you were babies.
202
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,394
The only thing I heard
were your dad's farts.
203
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-And yours.
-Baby farts.
204
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Dad. Story. Keep telling.
Spy stuff. Go.
205
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:41,641
Right. So, Alice,
who was very, very brave--
206
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or so sleep-deprived that
she forgot what danger was--
207
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decided to put Lily in her crib
after she fell back asleep
208
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and go up to the roof
to investigate.
209
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Okay, sweetie,
I'll be right back.
210
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Momma's gonna go see
211
00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:54,821
if-if there's a German spy
on the roof.
212
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,398
Not a big deal.
Everything's fine.
213
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BOB:
Alice walked down the hallway
214
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and up the stairs to the roof.
215
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(creaks)
216
00:07:01,663 --> 00:07:03,404
But the roof was empty,
except for the pigeons.
217
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,650
Uh, did you guys, uh, see him?
218
00:07:06,818 --> 00:07:08,151
What'd he look like? Ugh.
219
00:07:08,170 --> 00:07:09,577
I probably should've
put on shoes.
220
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,762
Sorry, no offense.
221
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,505
BOB: But then something
caught Alice's eye.
222
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There was a little bit
of a shoe print
223
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:16,009
in the pigeon poop
right near the coop.
224
00:07:16,085 --> 00:07:17,327
-(gasps)
-LINDA: Ooh, a poop print.
225
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:18,678
TINA:
A poop clue.
226
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:19,996
GENE:
I've left those before.
227
00:07:20,089 --> 00:07:21,589
BOB: Alice went
back downstairs,
228
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,608
wondering which one of
her neighbors could be the spy.
229
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-GENE: Mort!
-BOB: Gene, Mort's our neighbor
and he's not a spy.
230
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GENE: That's what
he wants you to think.
231
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BOB: Okay. On her way
back to her apartment,
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-(gasps)
-...she ran into
her neighbor Peter
233
00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:33,693
who works at the shipyard.
234
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And he seemed kind of nervous.
235
00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:37,363
Uh, Alice.
Uh, so sorry to startle you.
236
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What, were you...
up on the roof?
237
00:07:39,201 --> 00:07:42,869
Uh, yeah?
Were you... up on the roof?
238
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What? N-No.
239
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(strained laughter) I'm joking.
240
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Are you, um, heading to work?
It's so early.
241
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Yeah, I'm doing
a double shift today.
242
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,712
I'm working as much
as I can these days.
243
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That's-that's good.
244
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Good to make ships.
245
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,808
We need 'em, 'cause of the war.
246
00:07:56,885 --> 00:07:57,642
Uh, yup.
247
00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:59,369
Okay, well, I'd better go.
248
00:07:59,462 --> 00:08:01,730
-Uh, have a good day.
-You, too.
249
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:05,633
Uh, are you looking at my feet?
250
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,877
Uh, my... back just went out.
251
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:09,303
(groaning)
252
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,489
Oh. Should I, uh--
253
00:08:10,716 --> 00:08:12,324
-Oh, my God, it's better.
Silly back.
-Oh.
254
00:08:12,551 --> 00:08:15,160
Anyway, good luck
with making boats.
255
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,146
BOB:
Alice went back to the apartment
256
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,332
and tried to get some sleep
257
00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,000
before morning,
but she couldn't.
258
00:08:22,227 --> 00:08:23,910
At breakfast,
she told Gertie everything.
259
00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:26,896
So, you heard
a man speaking German
260
00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:28,898
on the channel
that only plays static?
261
00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:30,342
Yes, and he mentioned
the shipyard.
262
00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:33,995
Uh-huh. And you saw a footprint
in some bird poop?
263
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:35,405
Yep. Up on the roof.
264
00:08:35,423 --> 00:08:37,407
And you're sure
you weren't dreaming this?
265
00:08:37,576 --> 00:08:39,075
Ma, this happened.
266
00:08:39,094 --> 00:08:40,927
I am 89% sure.
267
00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:43,355
Alice, honey, look at you.
You're exhausted.
268
00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:45,098
You poured coffee
in your oatmeal
269
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,600
and you've been stirring it
for the last five minutes.
270
00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:48,843
What? Why didn't you tell me?
271
00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,344
I thought you were
being more efficient
272
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,679
about breakfast or something.
273
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,680
Oh, my God.
274
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,348
Listen, I'm gonna
go to the store
275
00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:55,534
and pick up some groceries.
276
00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:56,926
How about I bring Lily with me?
277
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,037
You can stay here.
Take a little nap.
278
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,947
We won't gossip
about you at all.
279
00:09:01,099 --> 00:09:02,098
Or at least I won't.
280
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:04,025
Okay. Fine. I'll go lay down.
281
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:06,936
And we can talk about the spy
in our building later.
282
00:09:06,955 --> 00:09:07,937
Mm-hmm.
283
00:09:08,031 --> 00:09:09,622
♪ Your mommy's doing fine ♪
284
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,365
♪ Yes, she is. ♪
285
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,609
I am doing fine
286
00:09:12,702 --> 00:09:14,535
and Lily's on my side, Ma.
She heard it, too.
287
00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:16,963
BOB: After a nap, Alice got
the laundry off the line
288
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,631
and went into the living room
to fold it.
289
00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:21,059
LOUISE: Ugh, don't fold
laundry, catch the spy.
290
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,044
Well, I guess even
if there's a spy,
291
00:09:23,138 --> 00:09:24,454
you still got to fold laundry.
292
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:25,897
I think the next James Bond
movie is about that?
293
00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:27,065
Anyway...
294
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,341
Alice looked out the window
295
00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:30,068
and saw Peter coming
home from work.
296
00:09:30,295 --> 00:09:31,978
Which was strange, because
she'd never seen him come home
297
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:33,572
in the middle of the day.
And then another guy
298
00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:35,890
who Alice didn't recognize
came up to Peter.
299
00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:38,076
They shook hands, and the guy
started to hand Peter
300
00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:39,727
what looked like
a small package.
301
00:09:39,821 --> 00:09:40,987
-GENE: Small package Peter.
-BOB: Gene.
302
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,247
Peter shook his head
303
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:43,990
and motioned for the guy
to follow him.
304
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,232
They walked around
the corner and disappeared.
305
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,476
LOUISE:
A handoff!
306
00:09:46,494 --> 00:09:47,827
(gasps) A handoff.
307
00:09:47,979 --> 00:09:49,421
BOB: Alice--
again, very brave person--
308
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,331
ran downstairs to see
if she could get a better look.
309
00:09:51,499 --> 00:09:52,907
But when she got to the alley,
310
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,150
Peter was gone.
311
00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:55,594
And so was the mystery man.
312
00:09:55,745 --> 00:09:56,820
LINDA:
Oh, my.
313
00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:58,838
-GERTIE: Nice bathrobe, lady.
-Hmm?
314
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,506
Oh, hi, Ma.
315
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:01,749
Mr. Miller. Hello.
316
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:02,659
Hi, Alice.
317
00:10:02,677 --> 00:10:03,935
I saw Mr. Miller at the store
318
00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:05,586
and we walked back together.
319
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,754
He was just telling me about
320
00:10:06,848 --> 00:10:08,498
the flowers
he planted out front.
321
00:10:08,516 --> 00:10:10,834
Right. Those are pretty,
the flowers.
322
00:10:10,852 --> 00:10:13,278
And, uh, what kind...
would they be?
323
00:10:13,429 --> 00:10:15,505
Delphiniums.
They match your mother's eyes.
324
00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,857
Oh, well, more like
my varicose veins.
325
00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:21,286
Well, you do have the prettiest
varicose veins of anyone I know.
326
00:10:21,437 --> 00:10:23,270
Mmm, yeah, well, I bet yours
327
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:25,106
aren't too shabby
either, mister.
328
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,291
Gertie was gettin' flirty.
329
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:28,442
So, dear, what are
you doing out here,
330
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:29,535
in your bathrobe?
331
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,445
Not that Lily's embarrassed
of you at all.
332
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,706
Oh. I just saw
our neighbor Peter.
333
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,800
Another guy handed
him something.
334
00:10:35,877 --> 00:10:37,694
Is this about
the spy stuff again?
335
00:10:37,712 --> 00:10:38,544
Ma. Shush.
336
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:40,530
Ugh, my daughter
thinks she heard
337
00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:42,807
a German spy
on our roof last night.
338
00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:45,126
She eedsnay more eepslay.
339
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,460
You know, I thought
I heard Fred Astaire
340
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,130
above my apartment,
but I think it's just
341
00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:51,207
that my neighbors must
have extra loud shoes.
342
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,486
(laughs) Extra loud shoes.
You're too much.
343
00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:56,971
You should go up there
and threaten to Ginger them
344
00:10:57,065 --> 00:10:59,232
right in the Rodgers,
if you know what I mean.
345
00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,384
Huh. He's taking out
his trash again already?
346
00:11:01,403 --> 00:11:04,053
Good lord, Alice, are you
keeping tabs on everyone?
347
00:11:04,072 --> 00:11:06,072
You try to raise them
to be not too creepy
348
00:11:06,224 --> 00:11:07,481
and look what you get.
349
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:11,152
Okay, I'm gonna go...
away from here, inside.
350
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:13,654
Uh, come on, Lily.
Goodbye, Mr. Miller.
351
00:11:13,748 --> 00:11:15,415
And also, Ma, I'm not creepy.
352
00:11:15,567 --> 00:11:18,084
No one thinks that
I'm creepy... at all.
353
00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:20,494
Of course you're not, dear.
354
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:23,256
(soft static playing)
355
00:11:24,259 --> 00:11:27,243
Alice, honey, should we turn off
the static since Lily's awake?
356
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:28,502
Well, I'm keeping it on
357
00:11:28,596 --> 00:11:30,355
in case another spy broadcast
comes through.
358
00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:31,597
And before you say anything,
359
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,007
I know you think
I'm being silly,
360
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:36,010
-but to you I
just say... Meh.
-(coos)
361
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:40,181
Yeah, you think that's funny?
Bluh, bluh. Mleh.
362
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,774
Okay, well,
I'll leave you to it.
363
00:11:41,927 --> 00:11:44,594
I'm going to Doris's apartment
to play cards with the girls.
364
00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:45,945
We started gambling.
365
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,597
I'm gonna take them
for all they're worth.
366
00:11:47,615 --> 00:11:50,433
-Sounds fun.
-All right, I'll see
you two later.
367
00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:51,601
Good luck with your mom, Lily.
368
00:11:51,619 --> 00:11:53,211
Come and get me
if she gets too weird.
369
00:11:53,362 --> 00:11:54,546
Bye, Ma.
370
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:55,362
Huh...
371
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:56,622
Peter, Peter, Peter,
372
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:59,384
what are you doing,
Mr. Secret Handoff Man?
373
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:00,552
(gasps)
374
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:01,970
(panting)
375
00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:05,974
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
376
00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:07,708
Where'd he go? Where is he?
377
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:09,376
Well, that wasn't good, right?
378
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,620
No, that did not seem good.
379
00:12:10,638 --> 00:12:12,230
-(knocking)
-(gasps) Oh, God. Peter.
380
00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:13,732
GENE: He can radio secrets
to the Germans,
381
00:12:13,883 --> 00:12:16,735
but he can't call before
coming over? Rude Nazi.
382
00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:22,073
Oh, I'm on pins and needles.
383
00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:23,390
I know the story, sort of,
384
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,892
and I'm still
on pins and needles.
385
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,986
-Me, too.
-Does anyone want some popcorn?
386
00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:28,154
Can someone make some popcorn?
387
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:30,564
No. No popcorn.
Father. Continue. Please.
388
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,475
Okay, so Alice
had just seen Peter
389
00:12:32,568 --> 00:12:33,918
staring up at her
from the sidewalk
390
00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:35,903
and then there was
a knock at the door.
391
00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:37,255
Uh, who is it?
392
00:12:37,482 --> 00:12:39,148
MR. MILLER:
Hi, Alice, it's Mr. Miller.
393
00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:40,592
Oh. Thank God.
394
00:12:40,819 --> 00:12:43,503
Is your mother home? I had
something I wanted to give her.
395
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,745
Coming. Heh.
396
00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:46,656
Oh, how pretty.
397
00:12:46,674 --> 00:12:47,840
I bought them at a flower shop.
398
00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:49,342
I would've picked
the ones I planted,
399
00:12:49,494 --> 00:12:51,494
but then... there'd be
no flowers there.
400
00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:52,920
Do you think she'll like them
or will she think
401
00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:54,588
this is corny
and start avoiding me?
402
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,666
I think she'll think it's
the perfect amount of corny.
403
00:12:56,759 --> 00:12:58,851
Uh, Mom's at her girlfriend's
house, playing cards.
404
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,186
I think they're gambling?
405
00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:01,428
You should watch out
for her, she's trouble.
406
00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:02,280
-Oh, my.
-Come on in.
407
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,190
I'll put these in some water.
408
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,025
Do you want something to drink?
Do you want some tea?
409
00:13:06,177 --> 00:13:07,952
Okay. Can I give you a hand?
410
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,362
Or can I hold the baby for you?
411
00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:11,331
I raised four kids
and six grandkids
412
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,016
and I hardly ever dropped them.
413
00:13:13,034 --> 00:13:14,608
Yeah, okay. Sure. Thank you.
414
00:13:14,702 --> 00:13:17,629
-(babbling)
-(cooing)
415
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,297
Uh, somebody's face is leaking.
416
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:22,116
Oh, heh. She only drools
on people she likes.
417
00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:23,659
-(laughs)
-Oh, then I'm flattered.
418
00:13:23,661 --> 00:13:27,196
Hey, Mr. Miller, do you know
Peter from down the hall?
419
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,974
Have you ever seen
him act... funny?
420
00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:31,292
What, like a clown?
421
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,869
No. Not quite like a clown...
422
00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:35,129
But more like cagey?
423
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,889
Why? Do you think he's a spy?
424
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,207
Eh... Maybe?
425
00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:40,543
Well, one time I saw him
picking his nose
426
00:13:40,636 --> 00:13:42,712
and then he pretended
he was just scratching it,
427
00:13:42,805 --> 00:13:44,656
but we both know what I saw.
428
00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:46,232
Oh. I'll get that. (gasps)
429
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,808
And that's when Alice saw it.
430
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,977
She knew immediately
what that white smear was.
431
00:13:50,071 --> 00:13:51,162
-LOUISE: Shoe poop.
-TINA: Shoop.
432
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,997
-Uh...
-What's that, hon?
433
00:13:53,149 --> 00:13:55,333
Uh, I got surprised
by the, uh, the kettle.
434
00:13:55,484 --> 00:13:57,410
Why do they make them so loud?
I'm right here.
435
00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:58,911
You know?
You don't got to, like,
436
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:00,063
scream and whistle so loud.
437
00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:02,006
Well, no. You made a sound
438
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:03,341
and I said, "What's that, hon?"
439
00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:05,159
and then the kettle
started whistling.
440
00:14:05,253 --> 00:14:07,995
So you must've made a sound
for some other reason.
441
00:14:08,164 --> 00:14:10,256
Oh. You're right. Heh. Gosh.
442
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,075
It was so long ago,
I don't even remember.
443
00:14:12,168 --> 00:14:14,001
Here, uh, l-let me, uh, let me
take, uh, Lily back.
444
00:14:14,095 --> 00:14:16,746
I, uh, don't want her
spitting up on you. Again.
445
00:14:16,764 --> 00:14:18,247
Uh, I-I can just take her back.
446
00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:19,749
LINDA: Oh, good,
yes, take the baby back.
447
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:21,508
GENE: You want that baby back
baby back baby back.
448
00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:22,768
-LOUISE: Gene.
-GENE: Sorry.
449
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,103
♪ ♪
450
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,989
(awkward chuckle)
451
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,017
You're gonna want
to let that steep.
452
00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:33,112
Unless you like just hot water
with a bag in it. (chuckles)
453
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,598
BOB: At this point, there is
no doubt in Alice's mind
454
00:14:35,691 --> 00:14:37,709
that Mr. Miller
is the German spy
455
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:38,877
she heard over the radio.
456
00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:40,545
LOUISE:
And he knows that she knows?
457
00:14:40,696 --> 00:14:42,288
BOB: Well, she's not sure
if he knows she knows.
458
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,623
TINA:
She knows what she knows,
459
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,032
but she doesn't know
what he knows she knows.
460
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,533
BOB:
Uh, yeah. Right.
461
00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,869
GENE: And she definitely
shouldn't let her mom date him.
462
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,279
Swipe left, Gertie.
463
00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:51,447
Aren't you going to sit?
464
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:54,283
Oh, yes. (strained laughter)
Of course.
465
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:55,118
(rattling)
466
00:14:55,136 --> 00:14:57,044
Are you... okay?
467
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,621
Uh, yeah, uh-huh.
468
00:14:58,714 --> 00:15:02,458
Oh. Oof, ugh, I got
to change Lily's diaper.
469
00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:04,143
Really? I don't smell anything.
470
00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:06,237
Oh, yeah. Sometimes
she's sneaky with 'em.
471
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,222
But there's definitely
something there.
472
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,407
Um, I'll be right back.
473
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,326
I'm gonna--
I'm gonna change her.
474
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,127
(line ringing)
475
00:15:23,739 --> 00:15:25,089
OPERATOR: Operator.
How may I direct your call?
476
00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,667
-The police. I need the police.
-One moment please.
477
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,502
-(line ringing)
-OFFICER: Police department.
478
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,672
Yes, hi, I have a German spy
in my kitchen.
479
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,675
A... a what? Can you speak up?
It's hard to hear you.
480
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,343
Well, I can't talk that loudly
481
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:41,606
because of the German spy
that's in my kitchen, right now.
482
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:44,517
All right. Uh, why do you
think this person is a spy?
483
00:15:44,669 --> 00:15:47,278
'Cause of the pigeon poop
on his shoes.
484
00:15:47,505 --> 00:15:49,263
-Okay...
-It's from the roof.
485
00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:51,007
Where the pigeons are.
That's where he sends
486
00:15:51,025 --> 00:15:52,766
his messages
in the middle of the night.
487
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:55,102
Sure. And what does
he say in these messages?
488
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,679
I don't know,
I don't speak German.
489
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:59,314
-(babbling)
-Well, don't get testy,
young lady.
490
00:15:59,316 --> 00:16:00,349
Oh, do I hear a baby?
491
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:01,867
Yes. Yes, there's a baby.
492
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,629
That's nice. You must be pretty
sleepy most of the time, right?
493
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,023
Maybe you got mixed up
about this whole spy thing?
494
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:11,285
What? No. There is a spy
in my apartment, okay?
495
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,712
There you go
getting testy again.
496
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,046
Ma'am, I got to take
a real call.
497
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:15,122
You take care now.
498
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,641
No, no, no, no, no. Okay, great.
499
00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:18,643
Thank you, bye.
500
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:19,552
Hi.
501
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,128
Were you calling somebody?
502
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:25,224
I... was calling... someplace...
503
00:16:25,376 --> 00:16:27,468
because we ran
out of baby powder.
504
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,487
So I called my...
505
00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:30,655
mother at her friend's house
506
00:16:30,806 --> 00:16:32,639
to pick some up on her way home.
507
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,233
Isn't that baby powder?
508
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,310
This? What was that--
Oh, that one?
509
00:16:36,479 --> 00:16:39,905
That baby powder is too powdery.
510
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,749
So, yup.
511
00:16:42,651 --> 00:16:43,984
-Oops.
-(gasps)
512
00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,561
That's broken.
513
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:47,046
GENE: And that's
the problem with landlines.
514
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:52,735
Ugh, poor Alice. Stuck in a room
515
00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:53,660
with a baby and a spy?
516
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,013
She must've have been terrified.
517
00:16:55,164 --> 00:16:57,073
You know what I would do
if I was cornered by a spy?
518
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,165
-What?
-Diarrhea.
519
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,000
Out of fear or as a weapon?
520
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:01,260
-Both.
-Good idea.
521
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,095
So, anyway,
Mr. Miller had just ripped
522
00:17:03,248 --> 00:17:04,689
the phone cord out of the wall
523
00:17:04,916 --> 00:17:06,098
and Alice had to think fast.
524
00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:08,342
I just called the police.
They're on their way.
525
00:17:08,552 --> 00:17:10,603
It didn't sound like
they're on their way.
526
00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:11,937
Uh... You know what?
527
00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:14,257
I think there's been
a misunderstanding.
528
00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:17,093
(nervous chuckle)
I mean, you're Mr. Miller.
529
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:18,611
My nice, old neighbor.
530
00:17:18,763 --> 00:17:20,763
And that is-- That's all I know.
531
00:17:20,765 --> 00:17:21,688
I'm not that old.
532
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,856
I know, you're not elderly,
533
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:23,949
but compared to...
534
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,451
You know... Never mind.
535
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,861
Alice, I like you.
536
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,363
You're a nice lady.
537
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,365
And you've got
little Lily, but...
538
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,867
No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, please.
539
00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:35,219
I'm-- I'm a tired mom.
540
00:17:35,296 --> 00:17:36,612
You know,
people think I'm delusional.
541
00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:38,631
My own mother doesn't
believe anything I say.
542
00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,466
BOB: Alice looked
around for a weapon,
543
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:43,469
but all she had were nipples
and rectal thermometers.
544
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,563
GENE: Nipple him! Then take
his bottom's temperature.
545
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:46,472
LOUISE:
Gene, shh.
546
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,807
I'm sorry, Alice.
547
00:17:47,975 --> 00:17:51,460
Don't do anything rash,
Mr. Miller. Think of Lily.
548
00:17:51,479 --> 00:17:53,679
Your-your mother will
take care of Lily.
549
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,964
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
550
00:17:54,982 --> 00:17:56,299
she's a better grandmother
than a mother.
551
00:17:56,467 --> 00:17:57,891
You got to trust me on this.
552
00:17:57,969 --> 00:17:59,410
(breathing heavily)
553
00:17:59,637 --> 00:18:00,820
GERTIE:
I'm back.
554
00:18:00,972 --> 00:18:03,081
Just then,
Gertie came back home.
555
00:18:03,232 --> 00:18:04,473
I forgot my wallet.
556
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,309
I walked all the way
to Doris's and she said,
557
00:18:06,402 --> 00:18:07,418
"I hope you brought your money."
558
00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:09,145
And I said,
"Ah, I'll be right back."
559
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:10,088
Oh, Mr. Miller.
560
00:18:10,239 --> 00:18:11,422
Oh, Gertie. Oh, dear.
561
00:18:11,574 --> 00:18:14,092
Are you okay?
You look... sweaty.
562
00:18:14,243 --> 00:18:16,001
Ma, he's the spy! He's the spy!
563
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,720
Oh, Alice.
564
00:18:19,157 --> 00:18:20,431
Oh, Alice!
565
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:22,082
BOB: Alice saw her chance.
She used her free arm
566
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,676
and all her strength
567
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,178
to tip the radio over
onto Mr. Miller's foot.
568
00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:28,255
-(grunting)
-(screaming)
569
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,273
Run!
570
00:18:29,425 --> 00:18:31,734
-(screaming)
-(grunting)
571
00:18:33,762 --> 00:18:35,688
LOUISE:
Yeah! Suck it, spy!
572
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,356
(groaning)
573
00:18:37,508 --> 00:18:40,100
Alice and Gertie
got away, got help,
574
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,602
and called the police
who tracked down
575
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,103
and arrested Mr. Miller,
576
00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:46,958
whose real name was something
in German that I can't remember.
577
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,126
-Kraftwerk.
-(chuckles) No.
578
00:18:48,353 --> 00:18:50,369
And she broke up
a Nazi spy ring.
579
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,371
They found the transmitter,
they got Mr. Miller,
580
00:18:52,523 --> 00:18:53,798
and they got other spies
eventually.
581
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,299
It was in the newspaper.
582
00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:56,542
GENE: Online newspapers
or the other kind?
583
00:18:56,694 --> 00:18:57,969
BOB:
The other kind.
584
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,138
And it was my grandmother,
your great-grandmother.
585
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:02,140
Okay, we're never
getting rid of this radio.
586
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,532
And I'm not sure
I want to share it
587
00:19:03,701 --> 00:19:05,050
with Gene and Tina
when I inherit it.
588
00:19:05,127 --> 00:19:07,645
Mom, Dad, I'm the oldest.
I think you know what to do.
589
00:19:07,796 --> 00:19:10,389
I'm gonna run away with it,
marry it, and start a family.
590
00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:12,966
Wait, Dad, what happened
with Peter from the shipyard?
591
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:14,819
What was the deal with
the handoff and all that?
592
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:17,046
Oh. Yeah. Turns out,
Peter was planning
593
00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:19,382
to propose to his girlfriend.
And his brother
594
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,233
was a jeweler.
The handoff Alice saw
595
00:19:21,386 --> 00:19:23,068
was his brother
giving him the ring.
596
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,070
And his girlfriend's building
was on the same block,
597
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,573
so he didn't want her to see
them and spoil the surprise.
598
00:19:27,725 --> 00:19:28,649
TINA:
Aw.
599
00:19:28,726 --> 00:19:29,650
And that other neighbor guy
600
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,835
just had a lot of trash
601
00:19:31,062 --> 00:19:32,486
that he had to take out
all the time?
602
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,005
H-He turned out
to be a serial killer.
603
00:19:34,232 --> 00:19:35,247
-Really?
-No, uh, I'm kidding.
604
00:19:35,324 --> 00:19:36,582
He just had a lot of garbage.
605
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,067
And baggage. I'm guessing.
606
00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:41,179
Oh, Bob, I forgot how amazing
your grandma was.
607
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,997
I'm sorry I wanted you
to get rid of the radio.
608
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:45,408
You know I forget things.
609
00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,334
Most of my brain
is Dynasty trivia.
610
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,836
Yeah, she was amazing.
And holding on to the radio
611
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,355
helps keep the story
alive, you know?
612
00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:53,916
Well, I can't wait until I get
to take down a Nazi spy.
613
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,677
I'm assuming everyone in our
family will get that chance.
614
00:19:56,754 --> 00:19:59,012
-I'll take down a Nazi spy.
-I'll take down Mort.
615
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,974
Aw, my courageous cutie pies.
You, too, Bobby.
616
00:20:02,126 --> 00:20:03,259
I mean, not like Alice.
617
00:20:03,277 --> 00:20:05,018
Hey, you could hold
your own, mister.
618
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,779
You got some Alice
in there. Trust me.
619
00:20:06,931 --> 00:20:08,689
-I know you. Inside and out.
-TMI.
620
00:20:08,783 --> 00:20:11,767
-Also, Dad, maybe don't
make this about you?
-But I... Yup.
621
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,360
Okay, so we're
keeping the radio.
622
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:14,437
That's happening.
623
00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:15,621
But what about
all this other stuff?
624
00:20:15,773 --> 00:20:17,273
What's this, a travel pillow?
625
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:18,607
We don't need this.
We don't travel.
626
00:20:18,701 --> 00:20:20,051
-Gimme that.
-Okay...
627
00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:22,369
Oh, what about these slippers
that look like duck feet?
628
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,963
We can get rid of these, right?
629
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:25,706
I gave those to you
for your birthday last year.
630
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,782
You said you loved them.
631
00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,893
Right. And I do.
632
00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:30,061
Uh, should we just...
633
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:31,729
put everything
back in the closet?
634
00:20:31,956 --> 00:20:33,397
-BOB: Yeah.
-GENE: Yeah!
635
00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:36,049
♪ I'd sit alone
and watch your light ♪
636
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:39,237
♪ My only friend
through teenage nights ♪
637
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:42,240
♪ And everything
I had to know ♪
638
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:45,559
♪ I heard it on my radio ♪
639
00:20:45,653 --> 00:20:46,802
♪ Radio ♪
640
00:20:46,895 --> 00:20:49,914
♪ All we hear is radio ga ga ♪
641
00:20:50,141 --> 00:20:51,490
♪ Radio goo goo ♪
642
00:20:51,642 --> 00:20:53,084
♪ Radio ga ga ♪
643
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:56,087
♪ All we hear is radio ga ga ♪
644
00:20:56,238 --> 00:20:58,664
♪ Radio blah blah ♪
645
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:00,332
♪ ♪
646
00:21:00,485 --> 00:21:03,335
♪ So don't become
some background noise ♪
647
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:06,655
♪ A backdrop for
the girls and boys ♪
648
00:21:06,674 --> 00:21:09,508
♪ Who just don't know,
or just don't care ♪
649
00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:13,104
♪ And just complain
when you're not there ♪
650
00:21:14,457 --> 00:21:17,108
♪ All we hear is radio ga ga ♪
651
00:21:17,335 --> 00:21:18,851
♪ Radio goo goo ♪
652
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,336
♪ Radio ga ga ♪
653
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:23,597
♪ All we hear is radio ga ga ♪
654
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,174
♪ Radio blah blah ♪
655
00:21:25,192 --> 00:21:28,619
♪ Radio, what's new? ♪
656
00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:30,788
♪ ♪
657
00:21:30,939 --> 00:21:32,290
LOUISE:
Yeah! Suck it, spy!
658
00:21:32,441 --> 00:21:33,457
Captioning sponsored by
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659
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,750
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