1
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,756
{\an8}Morning, Pancake.
Sorry, did I wake you up?

2
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,675
{\an8}I didn't sleep that great.
It's Saturday morning.

3
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,387
{\an8}So tonight is
Saturday night, which is...

4
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,639
{\an8}you-know-what. Yup.

5
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,142
{\an8}Feeling a little...
stressed, I guess.

6
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,103
{\an8}Should we do that thing
that calms me down? Yeah? Okay.

7
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,022
{\an8}One, two, three.

8
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,648
{\an8}<i>Islands in the stream</i>

9
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,233
{\an8}<i>That is what we are</i>

10
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:09,819
{\an8}Okay, no, I'm sorry,
that's where you're supposed to come in.

11
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,322
{\an8}Rudy, breakfast.
- Okay. Coming.

12
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:15,784
{\an8}I made something
pretty egg-cellent for us.

13
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,619
{\an8}It's eggs. That's why I said that.

14
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,538
{\an8}I, uh, looked up the menu
for the restaurant

15
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,165
{\an8}we're going to tonight,

16
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,333
{\an8}and they have breadsticks.

17
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,959
{\an8}Oh, yum. That's great.

18
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,587
{\an8}Yep. And dipping sauces,
if you can believe it.

19
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:28,838
{\an8}You excited? I'm excited.

20
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,548
{\an8}Uh-huh. Yeah. Yes.

21
00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,258
And now I'm familiar with the menu,

22
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,469
so I can just relax
and enjoy the evening.

23
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,137
Focus on having fun with everybody.

24
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,348
'Cause it's gonna be so fun.

25
00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,308
- For sure.
- You jazzed?

26
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,977
- Very jazzed.
- Jazzed twins, aren't we?

27
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,813
Okay, I'm gonna go get the car washed,

28
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,981
and then I need to exchange
a shirt at the mall.

29
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,233
- You want to come?
- Sure.

30
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,567
Decided to get a size bigger.

31
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,611
Been putting on a few muscles lately.
Little bit.

32
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,321
- Uh-huh.
- Is this muscle bigger?

33
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:55,156
- Oh, y-yes.
- Feel it.

34
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,117
Whoa... Oh, wait.
No, that's your elbow.

35
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,326
Whoa.

36
00:01:58,451 --> 00:01:59,577
Yup, that's 'cause I installed

37
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,162
- that pull-up bar.
- Mm-hmm.

38
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,664
I mean,
I had someone else install it for me.

39
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,999
But I use it. Couple times a month.

40
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,168
Hey, Dad, can we can stop
at the magic store

41
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,629
on the way to the mall?
I want to get a new trick for tonight.

42
00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:12,382
Oh, right, of course.
The main event of these dinners.

43
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,551
Tableside magic by the Amazing Rudy.

44
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,262
- I mean, I-I try to bring it.
- And you do bring it.

45
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,389
Now, can you make
my armpit eczema disappear?

46
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:22,267
Just a little joke.
It's-it's under control.

47
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,144
- Pretty much.
- Yeah, it is. Fist bump.

48
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,979
- Oh, wait. No, I thought--
- Yeah, I went for the,

49
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,355
I was going for the high-five,
so, sorry.

50
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:28,439
I thought we were fist-bumping.

51
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,066
Yeah. Okay, no, you said
fist bump, so let's...

52
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,444
Hold on. Here, here we go.

53
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,238
Okay, that's...
N-Now you're just grabbing my--

54
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,740
Okay, I'm gonna...
Uh, here I go, I'm gonna let go.

55
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,078
No, no, no.
You got to stay in the car.

56
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,706
A magician never lets people
come with him into a magic shop.

57
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,332
Right. Right. Uh, you need money?

58
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,460
I'm good. I've still got $13
left over from mowing lawns.

59
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,171
- Well, I mean... one lawn.
- Yeah.

60
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,256
It was a fun way to learn
I'm allergic to grass.

61
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,049
I'm glad they found me when they did.

62
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,218
Hmm...
Is that Rudy the cutie?

63
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,637
Oh, hi, Esmeralda. Yeah it's me.

64
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:00,763
Horace here, too?

65
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,932
No, he's at a cape conference
in Cape Cod.

66
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,934
Told him to bring me back
something flashy.

67
00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,477
Looking for anything in particular?

68
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,856
Well, looking for something
that can really wow a group

69
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,108
- and work in a restaurant situation.
- Okay.

70
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,153
So maybe it could be
kind of an icebreaker,

71
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,946
maybe sort of a conversation piece.

72
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,281
Just, you know,
a magic trick that brings

73
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,908
all of humanity together,

74
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,243
even in the most awkward
of fine dining experiences.

75
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,495
- Under $13, please.
- Hmm...

76
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,164
All right, teeny Houdini.

77
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,249
We just got a new sleeve scarf trick in.

78
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:29,584
Two more scarves in this one.

79
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,377
- Mm...
- Okay, how about rings?

80
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:34,339
- Yeah, uh, I don't know.
- Okay, let me think.

81
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,841
- Is this a fancy restaurant?
- They serve breadsticks.

82
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,510
Hmm. Oh, I have just the thing.

83
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:40,845
Sodium polyacrylate.

84
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,680
Sodium poly... what'd you say?

85
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,432
Step over here
and I'll show you how it works.

86
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,059
It'll be perfect for the setting.

87
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,852
It's $8.99 plus tax.

88
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,063
Leaves you a little
left over for a cocktail.

89
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,814
- You're 21, right?
- I turned 35 last month,

90
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,399
but thank you.

91
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:55,985
Just kidding.
Oh, it feels good to laugh.

92
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,323
So, uh,
Rudy, a-about tonight...

93
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,991
Yep. I'm jazzed. Whoo!

94
00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,494
- Oh, yeah, yeah. No, me, too. Me, too.
- Great.

95
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,371
But I-I-I did want to say,

96
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,706
I know these dinners, you know, um...

97
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,792
You-You've always been
a trooper, and, uh,

98
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,835
and-and-and-and I know tonight is gonna

99
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,837
be a little different,
you know, uh, guest-list-wise.

100
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,215
And, oop, okay, it's our turn.

101
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,424
All right. Here we go.

102
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,509
I-I-I was...

103
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,427
I was just saying, I-I mean,

104
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:24,847
I just... I-I-I wanted to say...
Uh, this is so loud.

105
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,349
Yeah, it is!

106
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:30,019
- Yeah, I-I think Paul's very nice!
- What?

107
00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:33,356
And-and-and we all love you
so very much!

108
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:34,691
- What?
- And we love--

109
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,817
- What?
- I said...

110
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,235
Hi.

111
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,070
Uh, can I exchange this for a size up?

112
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,571
Of course.

113
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,533
Put a chin-up bar in
my house, and my sleeves have noticed.

114
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,451
What?
Nothing. Nothing.

115
00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:47,453
Hey, Dad, can I meet you
at Better Off Head?

116
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,330
- Oh, uh, th-the kiosk?
- Yeah.

117
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,916
Maybe I'll wear a hat tonight.
Little head candy never hurt.

118
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,501
Okay. Yeah, sure. Hey.

119
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,712
Hey. Don't try on any hats
I wouldn't try on.

120
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,213
I know. No berets.

121
00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,924
They just don't work with
our family's head shape.

122
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:03,094
Hmm. Not really me, but not not me.

123
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,179
Ooh, now that's a Daring Danny.

124
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,764
People made wishes
with those coins, Louise.

125
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,933
But what if their wish was for us

126
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:11,394
to use that change to get
a giant chocolate chip cookie?

127
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:14,314
My wish is just to soak
my barking dogs for a minute.

128
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,899
Okay, kids. Your dad bought
his new special pillow.

129
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,568
For my special neck.

130
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,361
We love that you can't turn
your head all the way.

131
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,821
- We get away with so much.
- Hmm.

132
00:05:21,946 --> 00:05:23,364
Come on.
Let's go pick out Grandma

133
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,824
and Grandpa's anniversary gift.

134
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,992
Okay. Tina was thinking

135
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,243
about stealing money from the fountain.

136
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,203
Wait, what? No, I wasn't.

137
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:32,540
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

138
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,668
We could get 'em
these glass turtles with

139
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,128
the red heart in between that says

140
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,588
"We're Turtle-y in Love."

141
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,298
Classy.
- Or...

142
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,467
the wooden paperweight
with the Eiffel Tower carved

143
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,969
into it that says
"Paperweights Are for Lovers"?

144
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,262
Trashy.
Hey, guys.

145
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,680
Rude-a-than.

146
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,515
What brings you to the mall, young man?

147
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,976
- Oh, I was just looking at hats.
- In all the wrong places?

148
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,144
Just kidding.

149
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,271
- The mall's a good place to find a hat.
- And a spouse.

150
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,315
Okay, Rudy, if you were my parents,
which one would you want?

151
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,567
- Huh?
- You're here, you're a part of this now.

152
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,903
Oh, uh, they're both confusing.

153
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,488
Turtles.

154
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,323
Let's just pick something
and pay for it, please.

155
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,117
We got to get home and make
my Gene-got-a-B-minus dinner.

156
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,787
Because I got my
science grade up from an F-plus.

157
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,290
- Aw, my little Bunsen burner.
- Guy gets one B-minus.

158
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:15,750
I get to pick
any dinner I want,

159
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,002
and I picked
loaded baked potato lasagna,

160
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,670
which is something I made up

161
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,923
when I was definitely
paying attention in science.

162
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,174
Are you sure you don't want
something else?

163
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,258
It's my day.

164
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,760
- It's his day, Dad.
- Yup.

165
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,012
It's just, just, I'm not sure
lasagna should include

166
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,848
a loaded baked potato
or a cornbread crust.

167
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,683
Rudy, you should
come over for dinner.

168
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,228
I think it's gonna be
one of the worst foods we've ever tried.

169
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,688
Uh, actually, I can't come.
I have plans.

170
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,607
Ooh. Plans. Fancy.

171
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:41,526
- Look at you.
- Are you going to the opera?

172
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,693
Watch out for phantoms.

173
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,278
No, it's just a family thing.

174
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,988
That's okay,
I'm sure Gene will talk my mom

175
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,366
into making gross food
some other time, too.

176
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,827
Thanks. Well, better get back
to Better Off Head.

177
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,495
My dad's meeting me there.
See you at school.

178
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,913
I'm not sure I'm gonna
go anymore,

179
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,706
- but if I do, I'll look you up.
- Okay.

180
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:56,999
Yeah, and I probably
don't need to go

181
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,502
because I'm so smart now,
but maybe.

182
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,256
- All right, here we go.
- Yep.

183
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,466
Our monthly "we're still
a family" dinner with your mom.

184
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:07,009
But now with my friend Vicki

185
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,137
and your mom's friend Paul. Boyfriend.

186
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,471
- Boy who's a friend.
- Right.

187
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,140
Yeah, it's gonna be
a great night.

188
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,892
Yep. Yeah. Great. Just
all of us just hanging out.

189
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,228
Hey, do you think I should,
uh, tuck my shirt in?

190
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,688
It is long.

191
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,149
There's just a...
It's just a lot of fabric.

192
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,443
Tucked in, it looks like
I got puffy underwear on.

193
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,944
Cool puffy underwear.

194
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,446
Maybe I blouse it
a little bit, like this?

195
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,322
Should I not wear this hat?

196
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,242
What? No. Confident Conrad,
it's a, it's a great look.

197
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,743
Yeah, but...
Well, maybe I won't.

198
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,120
No, now I'm going untucked. Untucked.

199
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,788
- Okay.
- Maybe, maybe yes on the hat.

200
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,290
- I mean, it's hard to tell.
- Did this get longer?

201
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,833
I mean, it's, like,
down to my knees now.

202
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,376
Or I could do hat off.
Maybe I just carry it.

203
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,919
You know what,
we both look great. Let's go.

204
00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,212
We're leaving the condo.

205
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,422
I, I have to poop.

206
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,756
Oh, boy, really?

207
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,091
You know what,
I need to go, too.

208
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,509
- Untucking.
- Okay, can I go first?

209
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,094
- No, that's...
- And cutting in line, cutting in line.

210
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,304
- Excuse me.
- Dad, ah, you pushed me!

211
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,472
I'm sorry. You know how I am.

212
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:53,973
Play music. It's gonna be bad.

213
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,391
Turn on the fan.

214
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,572
- How's the weather back there?
- What?

215
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,909
Just... How's the temperature?
You need some AC or heat?

216
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,036
- It's good.
- Good.

217
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,996
Oh, oh, good,
you got the backpack.

218
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,498
Glad you didn't forget it.

219
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,708
Your literal "bag of tricks."

220
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:24,045
It wouldn't be a family dinner
without the latest Amazing Rudy trick.

221
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,006
I've actually been trying out Rudy
the Illusionary Visionary.

222
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,300
- Ooh, chills.
- Yeah, not to build it up too much.

223
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,302
Sure, sure. No. Of course.

224
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,055
So glad we do these dinners,
me, you and your mom.

225
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,849
And now we're adding some more people,
but that's good, too, right?

226
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:38,142
I mean, Paul and Vicki.

227
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,477
And me and your mom.

228
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,354
I-I mean, I mean,
not Paul-and-Vicki.

229
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,106
Your mom and Paul,
and me and Vicki.

230
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,734
A-And you, of course.
You're the guest of honor.

231
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,444
But not a guest
'cause you're our child.

232
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,279
If anyone's a guest, it's Vicki

233
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:52,448
'cause she and I haven't been
seeing each other very long.

234
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:53,699
Dad, you sound kinda nervous.

235
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,285
Ha, yeah,
I guess I am a little.

236
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,120
Got the motormouth going there,
didn't I?

237
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,455
Uh, not in a bad way.

238
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,123
But, okay, if I do that at dinner

239
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,959
just kick me under the table, please.

240
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,418
- Okay, Dad.
- Yeah, but not too hard.

241
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,753
You know how my calves bruise.

242
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,129
That's what makes them interesting.

243
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,131
Beautiful rainbow calves.

244
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,508
Thanks, pal.

245
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,887
So...

246
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,806
Uh, so, should we get a drink
at the bar?

247
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,307
I'd love a drink.

248
00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,268
Oh, it looks kind of crowded.

249
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,395
I could try and get us drinks
and bring 'em back here.

250
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,355
Oh. Oh, that's... that's nice of you.

251
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,691
I-I'm good.
Or unless you... you want to?

252
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,693
If-if you are going,
I'd take a glass of red wine,

253
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,194
if they have a, uh...

254
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,779
Vicki, what's the...
what's the red I like?

255
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,239
I have no idea.

256
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,116
Okay, maybe a margarita.

257
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,243
Or you know what?
It's so hard to carry four drinks.

258
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,078
Just don't worry about it.
It's actually... I'm-I'm good.

259
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,830
Stieblitz party of five?

260
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,498
Oh, that's us,
just like the show.

261
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,500
You know, the TV show
<i>Party of Five?</i>

262
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,419
I'm sorry, I don't know it.
- Sure you do.

263
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,087
It was really popular in the '90s.

264
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:51,007
I was born in 2002.
- Oh, uh, all right.

265
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,551
Let's just go to the table.

266
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:03,352
Ah!

267
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,187
Ta-da!
Oh.

268
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,441
Oh.

269
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,867
Oh.

270
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:28,210
Uh, welcome, everyone.
I am Rudy the Illusionary Visionary.

271
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:31,172
- I love it.
- And now, empty cup, right?

272
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,549
Please pass it around
and confirm that this is in fact

273
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,509
a normal plastic cup.

274
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,303
- Yup, empty.
- Beer pong, anyone?

275
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,263
- Totally normal.
- Couldn't be more empty.

276
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:40,890
And now I take
this totally normal water here.

277
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,099
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

278
00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:44,810
And I will pour it into the cup,
say a few magic words.

279
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,687
Mandy Patinkin, Mandy Patinkin.

280
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,273
I will turn it over,
and the water will be gone.

281
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,275
- Whoa.
- Uh-oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God.

282
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,444
- My suede slacks.
- I'm sorry.

283
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,529
I'm sorry. That wasn't
supposed to happen like that.

284
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,198
I didn't do enough banter.

285
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,367
I was supposed to wait 30 seconds.

286
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,869
That's okay, honey.
I loved it, loved the trick.

287
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,412
Can we, uh,
get some napkins over here?

288
00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:04,914
But it didn't work.

289
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,415
Anything I can help you with, folks?

290
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,167
Uh, it's just a little spill,
no big deal.

291
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,252
A towel or some napkins would be great.

292
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,463
- What is this stuff?
- Sodium polyacrylate.

293
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:14,882
- What?
- I'm not supposed to reveal my tricks.

294
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:17,802
It-It-It's okay to-to tell,
if it stains.

295
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,346
Sodium polyacrylate.
I-I don't think it stains.

296
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,139
It's what they put in diapers.

297
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:23,683
- It's what?
- I was supposed to wait

298
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,351
for the powder to absorb the water.

299
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,228
Hey, hey, hey, don't-don't sweat it.

300
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,397
How about you try the trick again
after dessert?

301
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,440
No, I can't. I only brought one packet.

302
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:33,734
I got to go to the bathroom. Excuse me.

303
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,473
Are you all right?

304
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,308
Oh, yup, totally. That's okay.

305
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,936
Th-Thank you for...
Nice to meet you.

306
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,484
And good night to you. Mwah.

307
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,445
And good night to you. Mwah.

308
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,613
And good night to you. Mwah.

309
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,825
And good night to you. Mwah.
And good night to you. Mwah.

310
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,118
And to you, Kevin. Mwah.

311
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,870
Good night to you most of all.

312
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,872
- Gene, please stop kissing the ketchups.
- Never!

313
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,373
- Good night, Kevin.
- Aw, Kevin.

314
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:30,875
- Rudy?
- None of them are named Rudy.

315
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,334
No, look, it's Rudy.

316
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,003
He must have come for dinner after all.

317
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,588
Rudy, come in.

318
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,631
I mean, actually don't come in.
We're coming out.

319
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,925
I got to go take the super lasagna
out of the oven.

320
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,969
What happened to your dinner thing?
You get stood up?

321
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,388
Oh, it got moved around.

322
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,724
Great. Now you can have
gross lasagna with us.

323
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,893
Yeah. Go on up.
Did your parents drop you off?

324
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,061
Oh, uh, yup.
Yeah, they dropped me off.

325
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,647
Okay, I'll just finish by myself.

326
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,858
Great idea, Dad.
That's why you're the boss.

327
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:58,903
Look at that, Rudy.
I can't wait to see her come out.

328
00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,738
- It's beautiful.
- Isn't it?

329
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,615
My creation, come to life.

330
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,992
This must be how Dad felt
when I was being born.

331
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,244
My lasagna is crowning!
Whoa.

332
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,871
Wow. Lot... lot of smells.

333
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,040
Some I don't understand?

334
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,334
Okay, time to take this thing
out of the oven.

335
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,835
Whew! Ugh. Heavy.

336
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,337
It weighs, like, 50 pounds.

337
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,047
That's the ideal weight for a lasagna.

338
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,715
Hmm.

339
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,009
Before we dig in,
I just want to say a few words.

340
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,720
I could never
have made this dream a reality

341
00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,056
without the people who were there
to help me along the way.

342
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,391
Mom, who's the wind beneath my noodles

343
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,852
and the boss of all my sauce. Aw.

344
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,854
Dad for not standing
in my way with Mom.

345
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,523
Hmm.
Tina and Louise

346
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,525
for letting me shine brighter
than you ever could.

347
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,236
Rudy, love you, bro.
Now let's eat!

348
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,322
Okay, focus group.

349
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,783
I want everyone's reactions,
summed up in one word.

350
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,284
- Mom, go.
- Uh... a lot.

351
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,828
Okay, that's two words,

352
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,371
but I'll let it slide
because you made it.

353
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,789
- Dad.
- So much.

354
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,500
- Wrong. Louise.
- Food, question mark?

355
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,168
Strike that from the record. Tina.

356
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:58,671
Uh, lot of cheese and bacon

357
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:01,006
and noodles and red sauce
and ground beef

358
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,716
and chives and sour cream.

359
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,510
And, um, is that a piece of bagel?

360
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,387
Yup. Cinnamon raisin.
One word, please.

361
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,097
Okay, I'll say... bagel.

362
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,015
I feel like you guys aren't
rising to the challenge.

363
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,434
- Rudy, reaction.
- One word? Groundbreaking.

364
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,687
It's definitely better
than what I ordered.

365
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,397
- What you ordered?
- Ordered...

366
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,940
myself to eat at home.

367
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,234
I said, "Rudy, I order you
to eat this food."

368
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,986
Okay.

369
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,238
Rudy, are you sure
your parents know where you are?

370
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,407
Oh, yeah.
I-I-I asked them

371
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,493
if I could come over,
and they said, "Oh, yeah."

372
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,745
Okay, but maybe I should
give 'em just a quick call

373
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,414
and check what time
they want you back.

374
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,332
What's your mom's number?
Or your dad's?

375
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,584
Or who are you with right now?

376
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,253
Oh, um, I'm wi-with--

377
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,171
You're with your dad
this weekend, right?

378
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:42,506
He was at the mall?

379
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,383
Yeah, either.
You can call either.

380
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,802
They're-they're together.
I mean, they're not together,

381
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:48,178
but it's complicated.

382
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,681
- But if you had to pick one--
- To call.

383
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:53,267
Yeah, to call.
Not pick one, like pick one.

384
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,852
God. Sorry.

385
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,230
He's been in there a while.

386
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,482
Did he eat something funky earlier?

387
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,026
I don't think so.

388
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,736
I know he pooped
before we left the house.

389
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,571
We both did. I'm sorry.

390
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,990
- Maybe I should go check on him.
- Uh, give him another minute.

391
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:10,492
You know, he's at that age
where he doesn't always want us to--

392
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:11,869
Right, yeah, yes.

393
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,412
What was it called again?
The stuff?

394
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,040
Oh, um, poly-carbonated something.

395
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,208
- Sodium poly-calca... Ah.
- Sodium poly-cal... cal... Uh.

396
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,085
Mm-hmm.
- Did he say it's from diapers?

397
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,504
- Probably not from used ones.
- Did he?

398
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,965
It's going to voice mail.
Oh, the mailbox is full.

399
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,508
Who decides when it's full?

400
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,177
The little man
who lives inside the phone?

401
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:31,388
Well, this has been fun,
but, uh, I should get going,

402
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,515
- get back to my family.
- But you just got here.

403
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,351
- Is it the lasagna?
- Impossible.

404
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,019
Well, how are you gonna
get home?

405
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:39,605
I think it's a little too late
to walk by yourself.

406
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,690
Is it the smell?
There is an odd smell.

407
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,526
- Father!
- No. No! I-I just, um...

408
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,946
I kinda, I kinda...

409
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,782
walked out of dinner
with my mom

410
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,868
and her boyfriend and my dad
and his... Vicki.

411
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,287
We were all eating dinner
together for the first time,

412
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,456
which, I guess, is how
family dinners are gonna be

413
00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:00,209
from now on, and I...
I did a magic trick,

414
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,419
and it was gonna
be pretty good, but I messed it up.

415
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,963
And I, and I guess...

416
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,715
Yeah, uh, technically,
I ran away.

417
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,467
- Wait, what?
- Oh, boy.

418
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,844
Um, they think I'm in
the bathroom at the restaurant,

419
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,596
- so, uh, I should go.
- Oh.

420
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,766
Uh, or they might be
calling the police right now?

421
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,184
I mean, sometimes

422
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,769
I take a pretty long time
in the bathroom.

423
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,354
Brother, don't ever let them
make you feel bad

424
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,772
for sitting through the credits.

425
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,774
I'm gonna try your dad again.

426
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,275
And may-maybe your mom, too.

427
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,444
Just to let 'em know
that you're safe.

428
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,946
Right, yeah, right.

429
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,823
And why don't
I just drive Rudy back

430
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,700
and walk him in?
That'll be fine.

431
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,868
Yeah, that-that-that makes
a lot of sense.

432
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,745
- Yeah.
- Uh, thank... thanks for having me.

433
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,456
- It was really nice.
- Yeah, of course, hon.

434
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,458
I'm just gonna wait out here.

435
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,293
If it's okay, I just... Yeah.

436
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,337
I'll pack you a lasagna doggie bag.

437
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,340
How many pounds you want?
Five? Ten? Hmm?

438
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:55,848
Okay, Bob will drop him off soon.
Yeah. Uh-huh.

439
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,308
Okay, bye.
Did you find the keys yet, Bob?

440
00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:01,020
Almost. I'm sure
they're gonna show up somehow.

441
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,730
- Keys do that, right?
- Yeah.

442
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,815
- Now have you found them?
- Or now?

443
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,526
I promise to let everyone know
when I find the keys.

444
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,695
- Okay. How about now?
- Yeah. No, Tina.

445
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,947
Your folks are okay,
just a little rattled.

446
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,699
I mean, surprised.
Totally fine.

447
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,868
Hopefully, Vicki's pants aren't stained.

448
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,786
I got sodium polyacrylate on 'em.

449
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,830
- Is that drugs?
- No, it's from the magic trick

450
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,415
I tried to do at dinner.

451
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,625
Oh, I'm sure
Vicki's pants are fine, hon.

452
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,461
It's not like they were suede
or something, right?

453
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,171
They were suede.

454
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,839
Okay, it's fine. It's fine, honey.

455
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,758
Okay, I found the keys.

456
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,676
- Great job, Dad.
- Thank you.

457
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,553
- Do you still have them?
- Yeah. Yes.

458
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:36,930
- Um, can I walk Rudy back?
- What?

459
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,891
Can I walk back
to the restaurant with him?

460
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,225
- Where is it?
- It's, uh...

461
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,853
it-it-it's really close,
I, uh, I-I think.

462
00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:44,938
I-I walked.
I was walking.

463
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,273
And-and not crying, at all.

464
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,983
Th-Then I was here, and...

465
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,443
It's that way a few blocks.

466
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,569
- Oh, Plate and Fork?
- Yeah.

467
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,362
- How is it?
- I don't know.

468
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,364
Kind of like a place
where adults eat food?

469
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,449
Sounds like a hoot.

470
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,201
Probably a good thing
if I tag along, huh?

471
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,827
Stay for dinner,
make amusing small talk?

472
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,370
Oh, really? I mean, yeah.

473
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,372
If you come,
you can have half my meal,

474
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,625
and then my dad
can drop you off here on our way home.

475
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,211
Sure, that lasagna
was more like an appetizer anyway.

476
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,922
- Oh, please.
- So I'll walk Rudes back to his foods?

477
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,466
- Sound good?
- Uh, oh, uh...

478
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,843
- It's kind of dark.
- Yeah, it's not a problem.

479
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,261
I can get my brass knuckles.

480
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,097
Anyone messes with us on the way,

481
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,349
you dazzle 'em with magic,
and I'll dazzle 'em with pain.

482
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,351
- That's my girl.
- You have brass knuckles?

483
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:24,311
Yeah. Christmas? Last year?

484
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,313
Why did Santa bring those to you?

485
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,981
Well, maybe Santa's from the streets.

486
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,483
Santa wasn't worried about

487
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,110
- siblings being knuckled?
- Dad.

488
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,611
- Bob.
- Okay, you can go.

489
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,363
May-Maybe no brass knuckles, though.

490
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,031
- Just bare fists?
- Come on, Rudy.

491
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,075
Well, bye.
An-And thanks again.

492
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,618
I'll call your parents and tell 'em

493
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,203
you and Louise
are on your way over,

494
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,955
and, uh, oh, Louise,
let me give you some money

495
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,915
so you can pay for your food.
Bob, you got any money?

496
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,918
- How much money?
- Um, eight dollars?

497
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,170
Okay, uh, I'm sure
there's a soup or something.

498
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:51,922
I'm not getting soup.

499
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,090
But I'll give 'em the eight bucks,

500
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,466
and I'll tell 'em you're good
for the rest.

501
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,634
You think they'll believe it?

502
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:56,885
You can work out a payment plan.

503
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:58,262
Okay. We're going. Goodbye.

504
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,931
- You two, uh, have fun.
- Yeah. Bye.

505
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,475
- Don't you have a lasagna to finish?
- Yes.

506
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:04,685
- Oh, God.
- I've thought of her

507
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,270
every moment I've been away.

508
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,568
They-They'll be totally fine.

509
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:15,195
No, I know.
I just wanted to watch.

510
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,614
What kind of desserts
do they have at this place?

511
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,700
I'm not sure.
They've got breadsticks.

512
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,910
Okay. They can put sugar
on breadsticks, right?

513
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,954
I bet they can.
It's a pretty classy place.

514
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,831
Sweet girl we got there.

515
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,500
She is sometimes, isn't she?
Family!

516
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:32,129
Why am I the only one
sitting at the table?

517
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,756
So what was this magic trick
you did?

518
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,009
Making water disappear.
It would have been pretty cool.

519
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,094
Well, you got any other tricks?

520
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,554
You can saw me in half if you want to.

521
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,055
I think I could take it.

522
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,765
Oh. You could help me do
"Who's got the coin?"

523
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,601
- You could be my secret partner.
- Sure.

524
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,228
Yeah, there's a very simple code
I'm gonna teach you right now.

525
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,189
- All right.
- But promise not to tell anyone.

526
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,066
- Okay, okay, Rudy, geez.
- But also, if you mess up, it's fine.