1
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,982
{\an8}Look at us going
to a birthday party as a family.

2
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,359
{\an8}Nothing cooler
than partying with your parents.

3
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,695
{\an8}Damn straight.
See, they even let us say damn.

4
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,821
{\an8}Uh-huh. Don't say damn.

5
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,574
{\an8}So I sort of see how me, Gene and Tina

6
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,617
{\an8}got invited to
Rudy's dad's birthday party,

7
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:35,910
{\an8}'cause we're Rudy's friends.

8
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,996
{\an8}But Mom and Dad,
what's going on there?

9
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,415
{\an8}Well, we saw him
at the parent-teacher conference.

10
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,666
{\an8}He guilt-invited us.

11
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,126
{\an8}- We were guilt-invited.
- Yeah.

12
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,714
{\an8}Oh. Sorry to be "on his phone" guy.

13
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,049
{\an8}Just shooting off a quick email.

14
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,301
{\an8}Ooh, email?
Who are you emailing?

15
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,762
{\an8}- Oh, a bowling alley.
- That's fun.

16
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,973
{\an8}- Yeah, just planning a bowling party.
- Uh, Rudy's party?

17
00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:00,060
{\an8}No. Mine. It's a little thing
I do for my birthday every year.

18
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,478
{\an8}Oh, I love bowling.

19
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:04,939
{\an8}Oh, uh, do you want to come

20
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,441
{\an8}- to the party?
- You don't have to do that.

21
00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,776
{\an8}Yeah. Yes.

22
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,487
{\an8}Well, I just hope Rudy
has a good time.

23
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,781
{\an8}He's up to his butt
in divorced parent dating drama,

24
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,407
{\an8}and he deserves
to have fun tonight.

25
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,869
{\an8}By the way, have we made you guys sign
paperwork saying you won't get divorced?

26
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,830
{\an8}No? I'll have Ken draw it up.
He did my estate papers.

27
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,290
{\an8}I like our odds.

28
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:25,293
{\an8}I love your dad as much as I did
the first time I told him I loved him.

29
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,254
{\an8}Remember that, Bob? You remember
when I first said I love you?

30
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,756
{\an8}Y... Yes.

31
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,009
{\an8}- Remember where we were?
- I do.

32
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,095
{\an8}Where were you guys, Dad?

33
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,221
{\an8}Um...

34
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:40,350
{\an8}Maybe he remembers, but he's getting
choked up thinking about it?

35
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,103
{\an8}We were, um... Uh...

36
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,939
{\an8}- No, he forgot.
- Oh, it's okay you forgot.

37
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,607
{\an8}Your brain is just full
of burger toppings.

38
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,527
{\an8}I'm gonna remember. It's, um...

39
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,570
Do you remember when I farted

40
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:55,365
and it sounded like
someone saying, "What's up?"

41
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,325
- Yes.
- So you can remember that.

42
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,993
Well, that was right
when we got in the car.

43
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,745
- Yeah.
- Yeah. So that's more recent.

44
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:03,456
I just wanted to make sure
everyone caught that. Pretty special.

45
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,582
Certainly was.

46
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:10,171
Was it outdoors, the place where
you first said I love you, or indoors?

47
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,339
Bob,
don't worry about it.

48
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,967
- Hey, Rudy.
- Hey, guys. Thanks for coming.

49
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,927
It was surprisingly hard
to get kids our age excited

50
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,138
about a 44-year-old man's
birthday party.

51
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,850
I don't know why. We love people
talking about podcasts and back pain.

52
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:23,434
You guys want to get
some slushies?

53
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,645
It's all-you-can-drink slushies.
My dad's treat.

54
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,729
- Whoa!
- Nice.

55
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,481
All I can drink?
'Cause that's probably different

56
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,774
from all you can drink.

57
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,110
Whoa! I'm getting
a brain freeze just thinking about it.

58
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:35,280
- Mom, Dad, smell you later. Bye.
- Smell... Yeah, yeah.

59
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,577
- Who doesn't love a free slushy?
- Maybe that lady.

60
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,748
If it was socially acceptable
to lick that off the floor, I would.

61
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,543
- It isn't, is it?
- Uh, Rudy? Everything okay?

62
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,587
You're looking very un-slushy.

63
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,548
Yeah. Sorry.
It's my mom's boyfriend, Paul.

64
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:57,427
Look at him. Smiling, listening to
people talk, making eye contact.

65
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,553
What's up with that?

66
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:01,639
- Ugh! Hate that.
- I'm just worried about my dad.

67
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,434
He's fragile,
especially since he and Vicki broke up.

68
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,353
- Oh, no. Who broke up with who?
- It was pretty mutual.

69
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,772
He sent her a text saying,
"We need to talk,"

70
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,608
and she wrote back,
"Break up?"

71
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,984
Then she gave
her own text a thumbs up,

72
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,319
and that was that.

73
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,445
Damn.

74
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,697
So what I'm hearing
is your dad's a free man again.

75
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,823
He's back on the market.

76
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:21,117
Yeah, he's selling hot dad by the pound.

77
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,828
It's just Dad's like
a delicate caterpillar

78
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,247
waiting to become a big,
strong, beautiful butterfly.

79
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,708
But that's not gonna happen
if Mr. Nice All the Time Paul

80
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,960
comes over and steps
on Dad's sweet little cocoon.

81
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,922
And how is Paul stepping on
your dad's cocoon?

82
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:38,009
Seriously, Tina? Look at him.
I just... It doesn't feel good.

83
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,304
- It's just not good.
- Rudy. Rudy, just breathe.

84
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,306
- I'm bad at that.
- Oh, right.

85
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:46,059
I just want tonight to be
the bowling party of his dreams

86
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,269
and the perfect 44th birthday.

87
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,354
Okay. Done.

88
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,105
- What?
- Done. It shall be so.

89
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,942
Just leave it to me,
Gene and also Tina.

90
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,110
- Okay.
- Another round, please, sir.

91
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,363
And don't skimp
on the cheer-up syrup.

92
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,616
Men's size 11
and a ladies' size nine and a half.

93
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,785
{\an8}These are cute. Look at these, Bob.

94
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,162
{\an8}I mean, they're bowling shoes. But sure.

95
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,248
I would wear these,
like, in the world.

96
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,000
- Really?
- It's hard to find cute shoes. You know.

97
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,586
- Oh, I do know.
- Oh, hey. You guys made it.

98
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,713
- Yeah. Hi.
- Happy birthday.

99
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:18,341
- Great shoes. Aren't they nice?
- Ah. Yes.

100
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:22,178
We were just waiting for our lane
assignment. I guess it's pretty busy.

101
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,430
- Oh, do you want to...
- No.

102
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,641
- ...bowl in our lane?
- I wasn't... I was not...

103
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,018
- ...saying that at all.
- Sure. Right, Bob?

104
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,353
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

105
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:33,564
Okay. I'll just tell
the guy at the counter to add you.

106
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,776
- Yay! Fun.
- Oh, my God. We did it again.

107
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,612
I love these shoes.
I'm putting them on.

108
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,365
They got my size
right on the back. That's fun.

109
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,993
So, our job tonight
is to make your dad look good.

110
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,078
Set him up for success.
Help him shine.

111
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:50,540
And if Paul looks like a pathetic dork
by comparison, that's fine too.

112
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,833
So, what are your dad's strengths?

113
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,002
Well, the man knows
how to rock a pant pleat.

114
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,879
I've noticed.
You can cut a finger on those bad boys.

115
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,256
He's also a pretty good bowler.

116
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,174
They don't call him
Spare-ticus for nothing.

117
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:01,551
And by they, I mean me.

118
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,177
Great. Okay.
Well, we can work with that.

119
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,431
But Paul is Paul.
He's probably great at bowling.

120
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,640
He's good at everything.

121
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,977
I once saw a valet throw him his keys
from, like, six feet away.

122
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,937
And Paul caught it like it was nothing.

123
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,063
- Whoa...
- Right?

124
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:18,401
I mean, Paul doesn't seem that athletic
and naturally strong but also gentle.

125
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,821
I don't feel like giving him a trophy
just for the cool way he's standing.

126
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,240
I just wish my dad was still with Vicki.

127
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,492
She was, you know,
whatever the opposite of fun is.

128
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,077
But at least he wouldn't be single

129
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,413
while Mom was
hugging it up with Paul over there.

130
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,497
Okay. All right. All right.

131
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,709
Listen. We've got the bowling thing.
We've got the dating thing.

132
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,962
Maybe we just get him a girlfriend
that's good at bowling?

133
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,464
You can get
a girlfriend in one night, right?

134
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,548
Uh...

135
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,759
Rudy, any prospects
here right now, by any chance?

136
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:47,055
I mean, there's that lady over there,
Sherry from his Indian cooking class.

137
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,474
They're both allergic to cumin,
and they really bonded

138
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,560
over how dumb it is for people with
a cumin allergy to take that class.

139
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:53,644
- Aw!
- Also,

140
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,189
I wish I could have plucked
my dad's one crazy eyebrow hair.

141
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,191
I mean,
it really would've helped his chances.

142
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,985
- Oh, yeah, I can see it from here.
- Yeah, it's a beast.

143
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:03,446
Is it possible
it's moving around on its own?

144
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,989
Rudy, come on. Our lane's ready.

145
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:07,867
Oh, and, kids,
your parents are bowling with us.

146
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,536
Lucky you.
Seriously, though, they're a fun couple.

147
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,830
Them plus your mom and Paul.
That makes six.

148
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,709
- Did you say Mom and Paul?
- Yeah. There they are.

149
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:17,794
- Hey.
- Hey.

150
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:21,506
- See you soon, bowling buddies.
- Oh, boy. That's it.

151
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:24,425
Dad and "good at everything" Paul
are bowling against each other.

152
00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:25,885
Paul will crush him.

153
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:29,180
Worst-case scenario,
Dad's cocoon getting stomped,

154
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,848
caterpillar guts everywhere.

155
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,975
No, no, no. Okay.
All right, listen.

156
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:36,604
We're not gonna let Paul humiliate
your father on his birthday, okay?

157
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:39,482
I promise. I swear it
by my reusable slushy cup.

158
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,692
Yeah, you heard me.

159
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:43,778
Ooh! Ow!

160
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,905
- Brain freeze.
- Here. Let me rub your head.

161
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,031
- Thank you.
- There you go.

162
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,283
- It still hurts.
- I know. Let me really rub it.

163
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,910
Ahh! Hey.

164
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,578
- Really, really rub it.
- Rudy!

165
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,871
Rudy!

166
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,336
Oh, God. It's all happening.

167
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,672
Hold it together, Rudes.
We're gonna handle this.

168
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,674
I know you're saying words,
but all I can hear

169
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,760
is my dad's cocoon crunch, crunch,
crunching under Paul's feet.

170
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,138
- That's Gene eating tortilla chips.
- Sorry.

171
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,723
There he is. Good ball choice, son.

172
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,101
Thanks. Yeah,
I coordinated it with my shirt.

173
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,227
Well, I noticed.

174
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,980
- Hey, kids.
- Kids, meet shoes. Shoes, meet kids.

175
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,232
- Oh. Hi.
- Hey. There they are.

176
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,776
- And here we are.
- Are you ready to roll?

177
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,862
'Cause it's bowling.

178
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:29,323
- Oh. Yeah.
- The balls are round, so they roll.

179
00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:31,367
- Yeah.
- Oh, man.

180
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,829
Lame but somehow charming puns?
That's my dad's territory.

181
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,081
Know what?
I'm gonna pop over to the men's room.

182
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:40,042
I got a birthday bladder,
AKA too many fizzy waters.

183
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:42,211
- Don't start without me.
- Okay, let's move.

184
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,255
I'm gonna go stall Paul
so he can't bowl,

185
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,175
and I'll just keep that going
until the party's over.

186
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,259
- Tina.
- Yeah.

187
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:51,429
Go to the cumin lady from
Indian cooking class. Make it happen.

188
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:55,057
It would be nice if Sylvester had
a new girlfriend in, like, 20 minutes.

189
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,059
- Uh...
- Perfect. Gene.

190
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,561
Slushy duty. Got it.

191
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,980
No. Go with Rudy,
follow Sylvester to the bathroom

192
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,608
and pluck those eyebrows
with extreme prejudice.

193
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,859
- On it.
- Wait, Rudy.

194
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,777
What's Paul's deal again?
What's he do?

195
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,779
He's an occupational therapist.

196
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,990
If people have pain
that makes it difficult to do things,

197
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,284
he helps them
with exercises or advice.

198
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,785
As if we couldn't hate him any more.

199
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:17,038
- I know.
- Okay. Everybody break.

200
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,206
- Go. Go.
- Okay, okay.

201
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,457
- Okay.
- Dad.

202
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,583
- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah. What?

203
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,667
- Dad.
- Yeah. What is it?

204
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,755
I just learned that Paul here
is an occupational therapist.

205
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:29,133
- Uh, yeah. Yes, I am.
- My dad needs that. Lots of it.

206
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,636
- I do?
- Oh. Are certain motions painful?

207
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,555
- I mean, yeah.
- Which ones?

208
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:36,098
- Um, all of them.
- See what I mean?

209
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,225
Oh.

210
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,643
{\an8}Hi.

211
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:42,605
{\an8}- Hi.
- Having some popcorn? Cool. Cool. Cool.

212
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,732
{\an8}Phew! Birthdays. Am I right?

213
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,192
Stand up. Let me look.

214
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,444
- Sure.
- Little sound there.

215
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,447
Uh, wait. Do you not
make sounds when you stand up?

216
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,990
Let's see you touch your toes.

217
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:55,159
- Touch, like, touch?
- Give it a shot.

218
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,995
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

219
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,917
- You whistled twice. Is that bad?
- Yeah. It's a two-whistler.

220
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,085
- Yep.
- Oh, God.

221
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,461
Ow! Ow!

222
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,296
It's worth it, Dad.
I'm sorry. I love you.

223
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,216
The hair is fighting back.
It wants to live!

224
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,678
- I'm gonna kill it.
- Don't let it into your mind!

225
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,597
- Kids. Ow!
- It knows what you're afraid of.

226
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,516
It seems like
you guys have great chemistry.

227
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,727
He's learning to cook Indian food.
You're learning to cook Indian food.

228
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:25,022
Maybe it's time to take it
to the next level and move in together.

229
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,399
I'm sorry. Who are you?

230
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,444
So your right shoulder is about
two inches higher than your left.

231
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,572
- It is?
- Yes. That's even.

232
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,908
Does that hurt? It's not supposed to.

233
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:39,287
I mean, so this is normal?
This is how standing is?

234
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,039
- I'm afraid so.
- Okay, let's bowl.

235
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:45,585
- I am very ready.
- Yeah. Here. I'll give you my card.

236
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,087
No, no, no. Don't bowl.
He needs help now.

237
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:51,549
He's got so many problems.
I can't believe he's survived this long.

238
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,760
It's okay, Louise.
I'll be fine, I think.

239
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,764
- Crap.
- Here we go. My dad's up first.

240
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:02,435
Go, me. It's my birthday
and I'm bowling.

241
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,480
- Oof.
- Hey, it's just his first roll.

242
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,108
- Tina, how'd it go?
- Sherry wants to move slow.

243
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,902
I guess she thinks
asking Sylvester to be her boyfriend

244
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,114
after they've
gone on no dates is "very confusing."

245
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,824
- Ridiculous.
- Oh, God.

246
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,744
Well, hey, three pins
are better than nothing.

247
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,828
Yeah.

248
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,830
The intimidation factor
is already there.

249
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:26,000
Paul's gonna bowl the pants off my dad
at his own birthday party.

250
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,585
Beautifully-pleated pants.

251
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,046
And those eyebrows
are bringing the razzle dazzle.

252
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,422
I can't watch.

253
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,799
Maybe I'll bail
and go drown my sorrows in slushy.

254
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,551
- I'm in.
- I can slush. Louise?

255
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:36,677
Uh...

256
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:41,223
Huh. What if we...
Guys, come with me. I have an idea.

257
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,018
- Come with you where?
- Anywhere but here is good.

258
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,478
- Hey, bud.
- Your turn.

259
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,105
Go on without me.
We're doing kid stuff.

260
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:51,275
Not that I'm not totally comfortable
with everything going on here

261
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,277
in this area of the bowling alley, so...

262
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:54,945
Um... Okay, bye.

263
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,240
- What are we doing?
- Also a question I was going to ask.

264
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,826
We're doing what it takes
to give your dad an amazing night.

265
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:04,747
Are we getting him a gift from what
I think is an extension cord museum?

266
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,916
You kids aren't allowed back here.

267
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,127
Right, right. So sorry
for whatever this is we're doing.

268
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,338
I was thinking this didn't
look like a bathroom.

269
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,673
Okay. Get out now.

270
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,716
- Wait. Please.
- What?

271
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:18,469
- This is Rudy. Rudy, say hi.
- Hello. I'm Rudy.

272
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,845
And it's his dad's birthday,

273
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:24,058
and his dad's about to bowl against
Paul, who's his mom's new boyfriend.

274
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,518
And Paul's good at everything.

275
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:28,562
And he's gonna kick Rudy's dad's butt,
and he's gonna look like...

276
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:31,440
Like, what were you saying?
Like a dead caterpillar or something?

277
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,318
Yeah, he's gonna look like
an unrealized butterfly.

278
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:38,698
Yeah. So we just wanna help him win.
You know, from back here somehow.

279
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:42,159
I mean, it would be a lot like cheating,
but it would be for charity.

280
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:46,247
So, yeah. It's fine.
We'll figure out something else.

281
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,540
I love it.

282
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,458
- Huh? What?
- I've got a Paul.

283
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:54,338
But my Paul is named Penny
and she makes my dad very happy.

284
00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:57,299
- How dare she?
- Okay. We're cheating.

285
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,969
- We are?
- Yeah, Tina, we are.

286
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,887
- You're going down, Penny.
- Paul.

287
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,639
- Uh-uh.
- No, it's important.

288
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:10,020
Lane check. Rudy's dad and Paul
are playing on this lane right now.

289
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,565
And last we saw,
my dad was bowling like ass.

290
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,733
Sorry. I said ass.

291
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:16,485
So we've got to make this
cheating stuff happen soon.

292
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:20,030
I feel like helping Sylvester
by cheating is maybe not the best idea.

293
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,782
And also just cheating in general.

294
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:24,577
Tina, Rudy is our friend,
and if our friend wants his dad

295
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,704
to bowl an amazing game
and teach Paul a lesson

296
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,665
he will never freaking forget,
that's what we're gonna do.

297
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,875
- Thank you.
- Yeah.

298
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,502
How is this gonna work?
Sorry. I didn't catch your name.

299
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,880
No names. The less we know
about each other, the better.

300
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,131
It's on your nametag.

301
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,257
- Rachel.
- Crap.

302
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:41,427
Okay. I have an idea of how we can
do this, but I haven't tried it before.

303
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,928
And it's risky.

304
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,056
When your dad's ball hits the pins,
there's just enough clearance

305
00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:48,684
over the backstop for us
to toss an extra pin in there.

306
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:52,521
And if we hit them just right,
then it's nothing but strikes.

307
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,814
Fantastic.

308
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:57,234
- Oh. Gutter ball.
- Please don't let it be Spare-ticus.

309
00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,488
Argh! They look good, but they don't
actually help me bowl better.

310
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,448
- You're lucky you're hot.
- You talking to me?

311
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,033
- Yeah, you too.
- I know.

312
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,660
Okay. I need two kids.
One to grab the pin

313
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,454
before it gets swept
into the pin elevator

314
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,956
and one to hold on
to the person grabbing the pin

315
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,541
so they don't fall into the machine.

316
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,001
Sounds dangerous.

317
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,086
Pin-setting
used to be done by child laborers,

318
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,339
so I'm sure that means
it's perfectly safe.

319
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,007
We can't see anything from back here.

320
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,926
How will we know
when it's Rudy's dad's turn?

321
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,219
Good point. We need eyes on the outside.

322
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,303
I'll do it.

323
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,305
Gene, no offense,
but if we send you out there,

324
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,641
we're gonna find you
face down at the slushy bar.

325
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:33,020
- And your point is?
- I'll go. I would love to be not here.

326
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:36,357
No. Your "I'm not doing anything bad"
face is...

327
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,067
Let's just say it. Really bad.

328
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,445
- Oh. Well, what about...
- Ugh. I'll go.

329
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,280
Be sneaky.
Peek at the scoreboard,

330
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,533
memorize the bowling order,
and report back.

331
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:46,951
Sneak and a peek. Got it.

332
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,292
Oof. Sylvester's losing pretty bad.

333
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:58,420
But we still have, like,
half a game left to turn it around.

334
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,048
{\an8}Whoa. Mom and Dad are not bringing it.

335
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:03,634
- Hey, Louise.
- Ugh. They spotted me.

336
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,262
Hey, Dad, Mom. Rough game.

337
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,765
I'm beginning to think that as athletes,
you guys are kind of not elite.

338
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,934
Yeah. We're bad at this.

339
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,729
Oh! Did you say I love you when we were
at a sports game of some kind?

340
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,566
No. But one time
you threw up on me at a baseball game.

341
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,526
- Yeah, but lovingly.
- Yeah. Kinda.

342
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,652
Lot of peanuts.

343
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,029
Check out Paul with the big blue ball.

344
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,116
Okay. So Sylvester's up after Paul.

345
00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,618
Hmm. You can totally see
Rachel's elbow right now,

346
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:32,037
and I think Gene's knees
for some reason.

347
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:36,083
It's fine. It's fine. These lanes are
so long and adult eyesight is so bad.

348
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,588
Oh! Bananas. It's a split.

349
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,424
You're still way ahead of me.
It's gonna be hard to catch you.

350
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,301
That's a good pun, though.
Banana split.

351
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,762
- Oh! I didn't realize I did that.
- Really?

352
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,264
Better get back there.

353
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,473
- Huh.
- What?

354
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,893
- You're not doing it again, are you?
- Doing what?

355
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,270
Letting someone win.
I've been watching you.

356
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:59,148
You haven't been doing that spinny thing
with your wrist you usually do.

357
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,526
My trademark spinderella?
I don't know what you're talking about.

358
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:05,195
Yeah, you do.
Did you pluck your eyebrow hair?

359
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,448
- Gene and Rudy pulled it out of my face.
- Oh!

360
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,241
And it was long.

361
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,911
Wait. Why would he let Paul win?

362
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,746
Oh, boy.

363
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,000
Are we a go? Is Sylvester up?

364
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,003
He's next. But we might need to
call off the plan, like, right now.

365
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,713
- What? Why?
- We don't need it.

366
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:26,425
I don't think... I'm pretty sure
Sylvester is letting Paul win.

367
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,637
- What did you say, Louise?
- Your dad is letting Paul win.

368
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,347
Huh? But why?

369
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,641
I say we're still doing the plan.
Paul has this coming.

370
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:38,103
Penny has this coming, always fostering
shelter dogs, asking about my day,

371
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,689
making Christmas magical.
You're not my mom, Penny.

372
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:41,815
She sounds like a monster.

373
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:42,900
She is.

374
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,360
Louise, this is happening.

375
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,111
- No, wait.
- I'm closing the door now.

376
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,488
- Watch your fingers.
- What? No.

377
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:50,574
- She said watch your fingers.
- Son of a bowling ball.

378
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:57,957
Rudy. Gene. Tina. Come on.
Someone, open up.

379
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,751
Everyone in position.
Ignore the pounding and the yelling

380
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,878
and any dumb voices
inside of you that are like,

381
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,838
"This is wrong.
I shouldn't do this."

382
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,675
- Tina, what should we do?
- Uh...

383
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,427
- Okay, great.
- Stay strong. That's what you should do.

384
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:13,681
Okay. Not good. Not good.
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

385
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:15,808
Whoa!

386
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,476
- Street shoes.
- Sorry.

387
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,478
- Louise?
- What the heck are you doing?

388
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,148
Well, I dropped
a nickel over here, and I gotta get it.

389
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,150
- You dropped a nickel?
- Yes.

390
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,528
Louise, we're poor,
but we're not that poor.

391
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:31,740
- I can get you another nickel, I think.
- One second. Sorry. Sorry.

392
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,826
You're still wearing shoes on the lane.

393
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,744
I know. I know. Just one second.

394
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,162
Lane integrity is important.

395
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,081
Rudy. Rudy, can you hear me in there?

396
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,458
- Buddy.
- Don't try and change my mind, Louise.

397
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:44,461
Are you standing on the lanes?
That's pretty frowned upon.

398
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:47,840
Listen. We don't have to do this.
Your dad doesn't need our help.

399
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,800
There's a good chance
he's throwing the game

400
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,886
because he's a nice guy
who's really good at bowling

401
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:56,849
but doesn't want to make his ex-wife's
new boyfriend look bad, or something.

402
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,059
And doing this plan
could ruin everything.

403
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:02,312
And I'm pretty sure our hands
would get mangled by this machine.

404
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:03,689
But the dad stuff too.

405
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,066
Also, if you get caught,
which I'm gonna tell you

406
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,986
with some outside knowledge
is not not a possibility...

407
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,613
And me being here
right now isn't helpful. Sorry.

408
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:15,034
Anyway, if you get caught cheating,
it'll make it weird with you and Paul.

409
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,453
It'll make it weird
with Paul and your dad.

410
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,829
It'll make everything weird.

411
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,831
Don't listen to her.
We've got to do this.

412
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,293
Stuff actually seems pretty okay
between Sylvester and Paul.

413
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,755
I'm realizing the person
who doesn't seem okay is you.

414
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,673
- Me?
- No. Rudy.

415
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,091
- Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

416
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,802
Child in lane 10,
talking to the pins.

417
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,597
Clear the lane, please.
That's not how bowling works.

418
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:37,681
Just a minute!

419
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,893
Rudy, listen. 'Cause they're about to
put me in bowling jail.

420
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,521
It's possible you just needed
a friend to talk to

421
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:48,901
and not a genius to make
a slightly complicated cheating plan.

422
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,027
- Louise?
- Yeah?

423
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,738
It would be
a cool birthday present to Sylvester

424
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,532
if you stop doing that
in the middle of his game.

425
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,911
Also, we forgot to get you a birthday
present. Just remembering now.

426
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,079
Whoops.

427
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,457
Fine.
Well, here comes the strike.

428
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,594
- Huh.
- Not bad.

429
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,096
Hey.

430
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,973
So, you're not gonna
do the cheating thing?

431
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,850
I don't want to say
it was my nervous farts

432
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,645
that convinced them
to leave that back room, but maybe.

433
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:26,688
I mean,
the farts were possibly a factor.

434
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,942
I think I'm gonna go call Penny
and apologize for my text.

435
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,944
I mean, it wasn't actually any words,

436
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,947
just a GIF of an orangutan
giving the middle finger.

437
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,573
But still, I feel bad.

438
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,408
- It's a solid GIF, though.
- Yeah.

439
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:40,828
Bye, shoes.

440
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,872
{\an8}You weren't good bowling shoes,
but you made me feel beautiful.

441
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,250
Do you need more time, or can we...

442
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,418
No, we're good. Are we good?

443
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:50,003
There you go. And then it's done.

444
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,089
Well, that was fun. Huh?

445
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,676
- Dad, did you let Paul win?
- What? No.

446
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,094
Okay, fine.

447
00:18:57,094 --> 00:19:00,848
Hey. The whole macho "must beat
ex-wife's new boyfriend at sports" thing

448
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,391
it's just not me.

449
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,893
Plus, he's not my competition, you know?

450
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,980
He's part of your mom's life now
and your life and mine.

451
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,106
Yeah.

452
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,525
But it doesn't
change anything about you and me.

453
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:15,320
I'll always be your dad,
and you'll always be my rad son.

454
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,072
My rad son, Rudy.

455
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:18,365
- I know.
- I rhymed it.

456
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,576
I just want you to be okay, Dad.

457
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:24,246
I am okay. Sure, this is not how
I thought our marriage would turn out,

458
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,957
but I've got great friends
and a great therapist.

459
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:30,627
And there are wonderful
shows on TV now, Rudy. Wonderful.

460
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:33,505
- I haven't even started <i>The Crown.</i>
- I hear it's very nuanced.

461
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:37,676
Hey. Don't underestimate your old dad.
I've got a lot of life ahead of me.

462
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,470
- Hey, Sylvester.
- Hey, Sherry.

463
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:43,348
I'm heading out.
Sorry we barely got to talk tonight.

464
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,519
- At least, not directly.
- Yeah. Well, see you in class.

465
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:50,022
Hey, I hear we're cooking
chicken vindaloo next week.

466
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,775
Yup. I'm vinda-looking
forward to seeing you there.

467
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:56,278
Vinda-you too.

468
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,573
- Whoa!
- Yeah.

469
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,158
Oh, my God.
Did you see that?

470
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,619
Big time. That girl talked to you.

471
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,538
Last people to leave the party.

472
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:07,623
We just keep getting cooler.

473
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:08,707
- Amen.
- Hey, Dad.

474
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,251
Did you ever figure out
where Mom first said I love you?

475
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,920
No. And thank you
for bringing it up, Tina.

476
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,046
You're welcome.

477
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,466
Lin, I'm sorry I can't remember
that really nice important thing.

478
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:20,177
Bob, I told you, it's fine.
Here's the story.

479
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:21,261
We were by the beach

480
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:24,556
and a seagull pooped in my hair
and we didn't have any napkins,

481
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,601
and so you just used
your shirt and I said it.

482
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:29,186
Then you said,
"That's a lot of poop."

483
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,312
Aw!

484
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:33,065
- Now you remember?
- Yeah. How did I not remember that?

485
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,151
Haven't we all wiped seagull poop
off Mom at some point in our lives?

486
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:39,238
You'll just say I love you
to anyone who wipes poop off you.

487
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,405
That's how you know.

488
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:44,576
<i>Middle-aged bowling party
MIddle-aged bowling party</i>

489
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,455
<i>MIddle-aged bowling party
Ain't too old to roll</i>

490
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:53,210
<i>Middle-aged bowling party
MIddle-aged bowling party</i>

491
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:56,630
<i>MIddle-aged bowling party
Ain't too old to roll</i>

492
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,757
<i>First frame
It's a low impact game</i>

493
00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:00,759
<i>Second frame
Ooh, back pain</i>

494
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,844
<i>Third frame
Joints feel enflamed</i>

495
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,471
<i>Ah</i>

496
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:08,809
<i>Middle-aged bowling party
MIddle-aged bowling party</i>

497
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:12,020
{\an8}<i>MIddle-aged bowling party
Ain't too old to roll</i>