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♪ ♪
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Aw, new pennies, so shiny.
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Got your whole life
ahead of you.
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-Don't end up in the gutter.
-Ugh.
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It's doing that weird
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clanky-wobbly-screechy
thing again.
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-What, your ding-a-ling?
-Or is it your butt this time?
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I'm guessing your back?
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No, it's our meat grinder.
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I think it's finally seriously
time to get a new one.
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Aw, really?
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But the meat grinder's
like part of the family.
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It watched the kids grow up.
And never grinded them once.
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I know. That was nice of it.
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But it gets jammed all the time
and it fights me
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unless I wiggle the crank
halfway through every turn.
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So, we're back
on your ding-a-ling?
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-Gene.
-Oh, Gayle's here.
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And she's running? Oh, she fell.
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She's up. Okay, she's fine.
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She's fine.
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Guess who you're looking at?
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I know this one. Aunt Gayle.
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You're looking at...
a contestant
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on the next season
of Tough Stuff Island.
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-Tough Stuff Island?
-The TV show?
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The one on TV?
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That's the one.
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Oh, that show
where the contestants are
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on an island and they have to do
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all sorts of obstacles
and challenges?
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But the hardest challenge is
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figuring out where to poop,
I assume.
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-Yup.
-And the winner of the show gets
a million dollars.
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Aunt Gayle, you could win
a million dollars.
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I probably will, right?
Just as soon as they pick me.
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Oh.
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After they see my audition tape.
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Which I... I haven't sent in yet
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-'cause I haven't made it yet.
-Mm.
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But as far as everyone
in my apartment building thinks,
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I've already been cast
on the show.
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Why do they think that?
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'Cause I told them that.
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Uh-huh, uh-huh.
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Isn't that gonna be
maybe a little hard since they--
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they kind of pick people
who look, um, muscle-y?
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-And maybe mostly under 40?
-No, no, Mom,
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there's always a scrappy
middle-aged contestant
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who can do one-armed pull ups
or something.
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I bet I could even do
two-armed pull-ups.
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-Whoa.
-Anyway, that's why
I'm here, Linda.
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I need your help
making my audition tape.
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-Oh.
-Uh-huh. Uh...
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I'm thinking
I'll climb a building--
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I'm a good climber--
or swim across the ocean?
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You know, one
of the littler ones. Or both.
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-Seems doable.
-I don't have it all worked out,
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but I do know that at the end,
I'm gonna rip off my shirt
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and right here on my upper belly
it'll say "Cast Gayle."
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Which I would need to re-do
for the actual tape
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because I wrote it upside down.
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That's how you spell Gayle?
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-I think so.
-What are we waiting for?
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Let's get cracking
on this audition tape, people.
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No. No, no.
W-wait, hang on.
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I don't know
about this one, Gayle.
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-It seems tough.
-Yeah, Mom,
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that's the name of the show.
Tough Stuff Island.
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But maybe too tough?
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Linda, why can't you help me
for once in your life?
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Gayle, I help you all the time.
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I helped you build a fake person
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to put in your window
so burglars didn't think
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you lived alone,
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I-I helped you build
a panic room
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for just your cats,
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I let you practice on me
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to see if doing acupuncture
was your thing--
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uh, PS, it's not--
and that was just last week.
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Okay, fine,
you don't want to help?
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I'll just
tape a camera to my head
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and do action stuff
in front of a mirror.
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Just have to get a mirror.
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Don't worry.
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I'll never ask you
for anything ever again.
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Can I borrow some money?
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For the camera and tape?
And the mirror?
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I'll pay you back
when I get the million.
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[salesman]
Yeah, we don't have any
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hand-crank meat grinders
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'cause we live
in the present day now.
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All we have are
these electric ones.
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Oh, these cost more money
than my old one did.
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This one right here will grind
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between four to five pounds
per minute.
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Whoa. That would take me, like,
a half hour with my grinder.
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Yeah, this thing
doesn't just grind meat.
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-It makes time.
-It makes time. Wow.
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There's still magic
in this world.
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I have a credit card.
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[chuckles] Okay,
let's get that out.
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[narrator]
This is when
you got to dig deep.
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They're pushing
50-gallon drums
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full of the heaviest sand
we could find.
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This is when
you're asking yourself,
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"Am I tough stuff?"
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Why would Gayle even think she
could go on this show anyway?
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Those are young,
strong people with body hair
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-where you'd expect it to be.
-Mm.
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And-and muscles.
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I mean, Gayle and I are past
that point in our lives.
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Like, I could always do a split
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on the dance floor
and then I couldn't
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at my cousin Teresa's wedding.
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Remember that?
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Uh. Uh... uh-huh.
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And I was fine with that.
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I mean, I won't do a split
anymore.
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-So what?
-Uh, same for me.
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I'll-I'll stop doing splits
at weddings.
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-Bob.
-What?
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If you think your stuff
is tough enough,
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we want to see your audition.
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♪ ♪
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But, of course, not everyone's
stuff is up to snuff.
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♪ ♪
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[chuckling] Ouch!
We'll be right back.
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-What the hell is that?
-I-I wasn't looking.
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I'm-I'm reading
the grinder manual.
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They humiliate people
who send in bad auditions?
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Oh, yeah,
I-I kind of remember that now.
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That's horrible.
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They don't say their names,
do they?
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Don't they blur
their faces or something?
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You think those people
don't know who they are?
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And their families
and their neighbors?
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-That's gonna be Gayle.
-Right.
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Her name's gonna be written
on her hairy, jiggly belly
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for everyone to see.
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Like a sack of mayo
with hair stuck to it.
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Oh, God.
Would it help to hear more
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about the electric grinder?
How many gears
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-do you think it has?
-Bob, we've got to
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shoot her audition video.
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-We do?
-And edit it.
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Oh... O-okay.
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She cannot end up on that
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"let's laugh at these idiots"
rejection reel, Bob.
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-She would be crushed.
-Yes. Yes. Got it.
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-Do you get it?
-Yes, I got it.
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-Crushed.
-So we'll-we'll help her
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-make a good audition tape?
-Boring.
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-Boring audition tape.
-Why-- Wait. Okay.
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Simple.
Instantly forgettable.
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Okay, but not me, right?
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I-I got to stay
in the restaurant.
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Plus, Lin-- meat grinder?
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I don't know if you noticed,
but I got a new one and--
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-(snoring)
-Okay, you're asleep.
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(whispering):
It has four gears, by the way.
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-Four. Four, four.
-Yeah.
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Here, I'll hold up the picture.
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Oh, look who's
the early bird nerd.
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Yeah, with the new grinder,
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I was done downstairs
pretty quick.
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Now I'm just figuring out
what to do with my morning.
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Organize paperwork, maybe?
Learn French or Spanish?
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It's just freed up
a lot of time.
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Too bad we're already
grown, papa.
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Yeah, you could've spent more
time with us, but you blew it.
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Yeah. Oh, well.
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Do you want to come with us
to the park?
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No, I'm busy.
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Okay, all right.
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We're off to film
Gayle's audition tape.
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We'll be back as soon as we can.
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Yup. We got some big ideas--
Gayle fights a bear...
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Do we know a good place
to rent a bear?
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-Maybe no bears.
-We'll see.
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Does anyone know if Gayle has
her helicopter pilot's license?
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I want to say she does?
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I-I think we want this to be
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a kind of normal audition tape,
you know?
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-Normal?
-I mean, great normal.
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Uh, you know, exciting normal.
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Like "Wow, can you believe
how normal that was?
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But also really good?"
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So, like, bread?
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Yes. Yes, exactly.
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We're gonna make the bread
of audition tapes.
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Uh, yeah, let's go,
'cause I actually just
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thought of a place
that might rent bears.
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-Now I want bread.
-Bear first, then bread.
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But the bear
doesn't get any bread.
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-Aw.
-Fine. One bread.
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[grunting]
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You want to film some of this?
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Uh, no.
200
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So I thought we'd start
over here with the step-ups.
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-Step-ups?
-Step-ups?
-Yeah, step-ups.
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You step up on the beam
and then you step down.
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-Then what?
-Then you step up again.
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-And then you...
-Step back down.
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Got it. W-Wait...
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How about Gayle does
a few step-ups
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but then she, like,
rips the beam out of the ground
208
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and twirls it above her head?
209
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We just have to dig this part
up a little bit. [grunts]
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00:07:07,502 --> 00:07:08,910
No, no, no.
The normal step-ups
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are gonna look great on tape.
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Okay. What if Gene
climbs on Gayle's back
213
00:07:12,824 --> 00:07:13,915
while she's doing it?
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And I've got my hands
over her eyes
215
00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:17,327
and I'm screaming "I'm doing
this because I love you!"
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00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,180
Gayle, just do some step-ups.
Gene, no climbing on Aunt Gayle.
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00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:22,607
-Boo.
-And action.
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And I'm stepping up
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and I'm stepping down.
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[Louise]
And rip it out of the ground.
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-Okay.
-[Linda] No, no, no, no, no.
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Just stick with the stepping.
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-Oh.
-[Linda] Yeah.
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And, Gene, get ready
to mount Gayle.
225
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,435
-Always ready.
-Kids, knock it off.
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Tina, you're the bear.
In three, two...
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-Wait, what-- Uh...
-Cue Gene and the bear.
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Nope, nope.
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-[both shouting]
-Gayle, look out! Bear!
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-[Gayle screams]
-Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut!
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Perfect.
We'll clean it up in post.
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Let's keep moving, people.
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One burger of the day.
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Mmm, mmm, mmm, come to papa,
my lunchtime lover.
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Mm. I-I don't like it
when you call the burger
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your lunchtime lover.
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You w... I-I thought
you said it was okay
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as long as it wasn't every time.
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00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,369
-Fine, fine.
-Mm.
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00:07:59,538 --> 00:08:00,537
Mmm.
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00:08:00,555 --> 00:08:02,147
What?
I won't say it next time.
242
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-I'll just think it.
-No, no. I was just, you know,
243
00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:06,634
seeing what you think
of the burger.
244
00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:08,653
-It's good.
-Yeah. And?
245
00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:12,065
And... it fills an empty hole
inside of me?
246
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,217
It's the one time of the day
that I feel okay?
247
00:08:14,236 --> 00:08:15,327
Oh, sorry.
248
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:16,828
I-I was just asking
about the burger itself.
249
00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:18,479
'Cause I-I got
a new meat grinder.
250
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,832
Oh. I kind of bared
my soul there.
251
00:08:21,059 --> 00:08:22,408
You're talking about
how does this meat taste?
252
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,002
Yeah. Does it taste
any different?
253
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:26,838
Okay. Yeah,
now I'm getting something.
254
00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:28,081
Mm, there it is.
255
00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:29,749
Different but really good,
256
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,993
but not too different.
257
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,178
Mm. Is that right?
258
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,679
Um, it's whatever you think.
259
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,239
But is it what
you want me to think?
260
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:37,590
I didn't know there was
gonna be a quiz today, Bobby.
261
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,591
Do you want to see it?
262
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,459
Fast, huh?
263
00:08:40,612 --> 00:08:41,427
So fast.
264
00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:42,595
-This part lights up.
-Does it?
265
00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:44,748
Yeah. It's a little
work light, I guess.
266
00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:45,915
Or maybe for parties?
267
00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:47,267
It's a really nice meat grinder.
268
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,694
-You notice anything else?
-Eh...
269
00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:52,255
I organized those shelves.
I mean, I started to.
270
00:08:52,348 --> 00:08:53,606
Uh, geez.
271
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:54,866
I feel like you should
put a sheet over the old one
272
00:08:55,093 --> 00:08:56,442
so it doesn't
have to watch this.
273
00:08:56,595 --> 00:08:58,203
I always pictured its eyes
were on the other side,
274
00:08:58,430 --> 00:08:59,779
so it's staring at the wall.
275
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:01,431
You think the eyes
are on that side?
276
00:09:01,524 --> 00:09:02,874
-The eyes are on this side.
-All right, you know what?
277
00:09:03,101 --> 00:09:04,358
This is over.
Let's go back upstairs.
278
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,044
-Eh...
-I'm going back up.
279
00:09:06,195 --> 00:09:08,380
So, we're gonna get you
running on the beach.
280
00:09:08,607 --> 00:09:09,939
The ocean's nice
281
00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:11,791
and people can sort of focus
on that, if they want to.
282
00:09:11,943 --> 00:09:13,276
Maybe I could even
pan to it a bit.
283
00:09:13,295 --> 00:09:15,053
You know, in the background,
if need be and just-just,
284
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,614
-you know, pan a little bit.
-And maybe you film Aunt Gayle
285
00:09:17,632 --> 00:09:19,616
rescuing Tina
from a shark attack.
286
00:09:19,634 --> 00:09:20,725
Ooh, I like that.
287
00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:22,561
Wait, why is a shark
attacking me?
288
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,896
-Does it know I'm a bear?
-No, no shark attack. No.
289
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,957
How about you start on me,
a handsome sunbather.
290
00:09:27,976 --> 00:09:29,568
Gayle enters frame,
running like the wind,
291
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:33,405
and she hurdles me, saying,
"Nice tan, young man. [purrs]"
292
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:35,481
All right, kids, stop.
I know you're trying to help,
293
00:09:35,634 --> 00:09:37,075
but Gayle is just
gonna do a normal--
294
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:39,744
hopefully coordinated--
running down the beach.
295
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:40,728
Action.
296
00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:43,164
[groaning, panting]
297
00:09:45,401 --> 00:09:47,327
[Linda]
And panning to the ocean.
298
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,421
And... go.
299
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:50,738
[groaning]
300
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,573
Wait, wait, wait, stop.
301
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:55,151
Why you doing that?
You look like a giant baby.
302
00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:57,411
What? You know
this is how I climb stairs.
303
00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,656
-No, it's not.
-Yeah, they did that study.
304
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:02,525
This is how people
are supposed to climb stairs.
305
00:10:02,527 --> 00:10:04,251
Everyone else is doing it
the dumb way.
306
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:07,105
How about we try it the dumb way
on this next take, okay?
307
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,848
I think this is gonna
make a good finale.
308
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,683
-Eh.
-Finale? Going up stairs?
309
00:10:10,836 --> 00:10:13,336
-Yeah. Look how many there are.
-I-I'm sorry, Mom,
310
00:10:13,338 --> 00:10:15,596
do you think "finale" means
"dumb, unimpressive thing"?
311
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,690
You kids just don't
understand editing.
312
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:19,284
We got a lot of stuff.
313
00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:20,768
We put a little music under it,
it's gonna be great.
314
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,012
Just saying, Gene is ready
for Gayle to kick him
315
00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:24,864
through the goalposts
like he's a football.
316
00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:26,273
It's not gonna hurt, is it?
317
00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:27,942
-Nah. Uh-uh.
-Everyone, trust me.
318
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,702
-Mm...
-Okay? Trust my vision.
319
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,779
-Mm.
-And... action.
320
00:10:31,873 --> 00:10:33,948
[Gayle grunts]
This feels weird.
321
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,209
-Does it look weird?
-[Tina] Really weird.
322
00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:38,595
-Shush, shush, shush.
-♪ ♪
323
00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:41,698
-[music stops]
-Eh?
324
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,716
Wow. That's great.
325
00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:46,202
You stopped it
before I ripped off my shirt.
326
00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,495
You got to see a little bit.
327
00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:49,038
It's better.
Leave 'em wanting more.
328
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:50,982
I say give 'em all of it
all the time.
329
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:53,209
Uh, Mom, can I talk to you
in the kitchen?
330
00:10:53,228 --> 00:10:54,653
It's about something private.
331
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:55,745
Um, my butt.
332
00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:57,046
And Tina and Gene
need to come, too.
333
00:10:57,065 --> 00:10:58,381
Okay. Okay. Ow. Ow.
334
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,899
That tape
isn't gonna get Aunt Gayle
335
00:11:00,051 --> 00:11:00,992
on Tough Stuff Island.
336
00:11:01,219 --> 00:11:03,144
We don't know that.
It's good enough.
337
00:11:03,221 --> 00:11:04,829
And there's nothing better
than good enough.
338
00:11:05,056 --> 00:11:07,573
A million dollars, Mom.
A million dollars.
339
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,833
Gayle said she's a good climber.
340
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,335
She didn't climb anything
besides stairs.
341
00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:11,895
-And the step-up.
-Right, and the step-up.
342
00:11:11,955 --> 00:11:12,987
Sort of.
343
00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:14,414
Was.
She was a good climber.
344
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,265
She was a great climber,
but it's not like
345
00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:18,343
she can just climb to the top
of the Old Mill Drawbridge
346
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,253
and jump into the canal
like she used to
347
00:11:20,405 --> 00:11:22,180
-when we were teenagers.
-Wait, what?
348
00:11:22,331 --> 00:11:23,907
You guys were teenagers? Hot.
349
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,426
Let's film that.
Why aren't we filming that?
350
00:11:26,578 --> 00:11:29,595
What? No. I said it's not
like she could do that.
351
00:11:29,748 --> 00:11:32,173
That was a really long time ago.
Things are different now.
352
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:34,508
Yeah, do we even have
drawbridges anymore?
353
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:37,178
Did you guys live in a castle
when you were teenagers?
354
00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:38,755
Come on, Mom.
Climbing up a bridge?
355
00:11:38,924 --> 00:11:40,181
Jumping into a canal?
356
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:42,108
That's what we should have
been filming today.
357
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,535
Not the crap show
we just watched.
358
00:11:43,686 --> 00:11:44,727
Crap show?
359
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:46,596
Yeah. It means a show
that's not good.
360
00:11:46,614 --> 00:11:49,023
Yeah, I know, Tina. That is
the tape we are sending in.
361
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,950
Kids, I am going back
into the living room.
362
00:11:51,102 --> 00:11:53,027
You meet me in there
and bring crackers
363
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:53,953
and a better attitude.
364
00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:55,029
And cheese.
365
00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:56,548
And that dip
that might be expired.
366
00:11:56,775 --> 00:11:58,216
Smell it first. Thank you.
367
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:01,085
Guys, if Aunt Gayle says
she can still climb that bridge,
368
00:12:01,238 --> 00:12:02,628
then we got to film her
climbing that bridge.
369
00:12:02,781 --> 00:12:04,538
I mean, that's what's
gonna get her on the show.
370
00:12:04,632 --> 00:12:06,449
But what about
everything Mom just said?
371
00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:08,542
Tina, Mom is not on
team million dollars anymore.
372
00:12:08,636 --> 00:12:10,787
She's on team being weird
for some reason.
373
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,546
Sorry, I don't follow sports.
374
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:13,732
So, what do we do?
375
00:12:13,883 --> 00:12:15,400
The only thing we can do.
376
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,461
Next stop, Old Mill Drawbridge.
377
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,553
Hi, kids!
378
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,147
[shushing]
379
00:12:21,299 --> 00:12:23,633
I brought coffee!
380
00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:24,909
You kids drink coffee, right?
381
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,894
I ran out of filters
so I used a T-shirt,
382
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,063
but I think it tastes better.
Try it.
383
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,458
Mmm, cottony.
384
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:37,571
So, this is what
the sun does in the morning.
385
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:38,923
Little showy-offy.
386
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:41,000
I've been up since 4:00.
My clocks are on Europe time
387
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,077
'cause my cats think
we all live in Paris.
388
00:12:43,171 --> 00:12:44,487
That explains their attitude.
389
00:12:44,506 --> 00:12:47,581
Ah, I can't wait to see
the Old Mill Drawbridge.
390
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,767
When we were in high school,
391
00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,343
Linda and I used to go there
all the time.
392
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:53,329
We smoked so much...
meat there.
393
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:54,831
Ah, to be young again.
394
00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:57,850
Smoking meat after school
like there's no tomorrow.
395
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,352
Where is Linda?
Why couldn't she come?
396
00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:01,729
Oh, yeah, she wanted to come,
397
00:13:01,856 --> 00:13:04,357
but, ugh,
she had to wash father.
398
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:06,100
Today's the day.
Once a month.
399
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,602
-She hoses him off out back.
-Okay. Makes sense.
400
00:13:08,696 --> 00:13:10,955
Time for some pump-up tunes.
401
00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:12,773
[Gayle singing over speakers]
♪ Pump the Gayle, pump her up ♪
402
00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:13,941
♪ Pump the Gayle up... ♪
403
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,201
Is this you singing
over the song?
404
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,777
Yeah. I heard it on the radio
405
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,279
and I recorded myself singing
406
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,023
'cause I thought of
better lyrics.
407
00:13:20,116 --> 00:13:22,875
♪ Get the Gayle,
going on the Gayle floor. ♪
408
00:13:23,028 --> 00:13:24,027
[Linda]
Eh, morning, babe.
409
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,696
Morning.
I made breakfast and coffee.
410
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:27,639
There's some breakfast left.
411
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:29,140
I-I've been up for a while.
412
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,792
Aw. Can't you sleep in a little
with the new grinder?
413
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,294
You don't have to
get up so early
414
00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:34,662
and do all your grinding
anymore, right?
415
00:13:34,664 --> 00:13:37,223
Yeah, but nobody
told my body, so, yeah,
416
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,651
breakfast,
that I also ate some of.
417
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,711
You don't need to know
how much there used to be.
418
00:13:41,729 --> 00:13:43,896
-It was a lot.
-Why does it smell like fart
in here?
419
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,140
-I mean...
-Oof. Sulfur. It's sulfur-y.
420
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:48,309
-Yeah. Six eggs.
-Oh, my God. Bob.
421
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,810
-Yeah.
-Did the kids have any?
422
00:13:49,888 --> 00:13:52,221
No, 'cause they're gone.
They left, like, a while ago.
423
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,723
-They left?
-Yeah.
424
00:13:53,741 --> 00:13:55,725
They said you knew they were
going with Gayle someplace
425
00:13:55,743 --> 00:13:57,985
and they said if you're
looking for the audition tape,
426
00:13:58,079 --> 00:13:59,896
they have it
'cause they want to find
427
00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:01,581
a cool envelope to put it in.
428
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,341
But now that I see your face,
429
00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:05,918
I feel like I didn't
ask enough questions.
430
00:14:06,071 --> 00:14:09,405
And they had towels,
which I didn't ask about.
431
00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:11,607
What?!
432
00:14:11,609 --> 00:14:12,833
♪ Gayle my day ♪
433
00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:14,577
-♪ Gayle my day ♪
-[phone vibrates]
434
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:16,980
-♪ Gayle my day. ♪
-Oh, who's that?
435
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:21,100
Oh, uh, it's someone
named Spam Risk?
436
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:23,753
-You don't want to get that.
-He sounds interesting.
437
00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:26,013
No! Avoid.
His last name is Risk.
438
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,032
His first name
is working for me.
439
00:14:28,184 --> 00:14:29,108
I say give him a chance.
440
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,702
But not today, right, Gene?
441
00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:33,020
Right.
Today we play hard to get.
442
00:14:33,114 --> 00:14:35,932
Hmm. I've never done that
before. Fun.
443
00:14:35,992 --> 00:14:38,451
[groans]
Now I got to go to the bridge
444
00:14:38,603 --> 00:14:40,286
to stop Gayle
from doing something dumb
445
00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:41,604
'cause our dumb kids are dumb.
446
00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:43,364
Where are the keys?
Where are the keys?!
447
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,124
Uh, Linda,
do you want me to drive?
448
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,218
Y-You seem a little ragey.
449
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,387
-I am not ragey!
-No, right.
450
00:14:49,464 --> 00:14:51,280
Uh, it's just that
when you're like this--
451
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:52,724
not ragey at all--
but, you know,
452
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,709
you don't always drive
as well as you normally do.
453
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,711
Move it, Slowbodon Milosovic!
454
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,063
Yeah, you can drive.
455
00:14:59,215 --> 00:15:01,807
[Gayle] Well, I haven't
climbed it in years,
456
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:03,309
but it'll come back, right?
457
00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:04,977
Just like climbing a bridge.
458
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,572
If anything, I've only gotten
stronger and hotter since then.
459
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:10,742
And my bottom muscles
are off the charts lately.
460
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:13,319
It sure is tall and leaning
461
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,804
in a way that looks
hard to climb.
462
00:15:14,897 --> 00:15:17,582
She says she can do it
and she's got herself pumped up.
463
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:19,066
I'm pumped up.
Are you pumped up?
464
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,494
-Uh, I could "Gayle my day."
-That's the spirit.
465
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,237
All right, I'm going.
466
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,647
Ready when you are, tough stuff.
467
00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:26,758
Island. Oh.
468
00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:29,093
[grunting]
469
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,763
We'll just put some music
over it.
470
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:34,006
Go! Go, go, go, go!
Drive! Drive!
471
00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:36,159
-That's helpful, Lin, thanks.
[groans]
472
00:15:36,177 --> 00:15:38,252
We got to stop Gayle
before she gets hurt
473
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,679
or makes a fool of herself
or both.
474
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,681
I mean, do you really think
she might get hurt?
475
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,500
I don't know. All I know
is that she's doing something
476
00:15:44,593 --> 00:15:46,778
that people our age
should not try to do.
477
00:15:46,929 --> 00:15:48,762
She's just--
she's got to accept it.
478
00:15:48,856 --> 00:15:50,782
We're old.
We're middle-aged ladies.
479
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,341
We're not as strong
as we used to be.
480
00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:53,934
We're not shiny and new anymore.
481
00:15:54,012 --> 00:15:55,511
I accept it.
I mean, look at me.
482
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,104
So I couldn't do a split
at the wedding--
483
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,957
something I've been able to do
since I was a kid--
484
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:00,441
so what?!
I'm fine with it!
485
00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:03,202
Uh-huh. Yup. I mean,
you-you almost did a split.
486
00:16:03,354 --> 00:16:04,278
You were more down than up.
487
00:16:04,372 --> 00:16:06,022
I'm not talking about me, Bob.
488
00:16:06,082 --> 00:16:08,800
I'm talking about Gayle.
This is about Gayle!
489
00:16:08,951 --> 00:16:10,376
Right, I know.
Obviously. Yeah.
490
00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:11,544
-I kno-- Yeah.
-Look out for the duck!
491
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,096
-[screams]
-[duck quacks]
492
00:16:17,368 --> 00:16:18,718
How am I doing--
almost at the top?
493
00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:19,885
[Gene] Top-ish?
494
00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:22,038
Uh, you still have
most of the bridge to go.
495
00:16:22,056 --> 00:16:23,723
You don't have to keep asking
every few seconds.
496
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,467
-You'll know.
-'Cause you'll run
out of bridge?
497
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,560
[grunting]
498
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:28,878
[Louise]
Oh, crap. And, uh,
499
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:30,471
maybe pick up the pace, Gayle.
500
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,398
-[car doors open, close]
-A little bit. Huh? no reason.
501
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:34,475
Cut! Cut!
502
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:36,143
Hi, Linda. Hi, Bob.
503
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,737
Bob, you look nice and clean.
504
00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:39,313
Hi, Gayle. Thank you?
505
00:16:39,407 --> 00:16:40,647
Oh, hey, Mom.
506
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,575
Whoa, wait, when did
that drawbridge get here?
507
00:16:42,727 --> 00:16:45,061
And how did Gayle get on it?
[weak chuckle]
508
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,562
This is crazy.
509
00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:49,248
Why are we cutting?
Is it 'cause of all my farting?
510
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,566
I thought they were silent.
511
00:16:50,585 --> 00:16:52,010
Hang on, Gayle.
I got to yell at the kids
512
00:16:52,161 --> 00:16:53,511
about something for a second.
513
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:56,072
Uh, are you gonna yell at us
about how much you love us?
514
00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:58,332
-[growling]
-Mm, mm-mmm. Mm-mm-mm.
515
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,076
Do I just...
I'll keep climbing.
516
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:01,853
Yup, keep up
that great momentum.
517
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,081
[chuckles] Hello, Mother.
So, you seem upset.
518
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,190
I know you had
some weird reservations
519
00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:07,616
about doing this, but--
520
00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:09,009
[whispering]
I am livid right now.
521
00:17:09,103 --> 00:17:10,936
For one thing,
I told you kids not to do this.
522
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,938
And for another thing,
there are so many reasons
523
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,441
Gayle should not be
doing this, any of this.
524
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,610
Why not? I mean, yes,
it's a little dangerous, but
525
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,929
I don't think it's, like, "break
all your bones" dangerous.
526
00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:22,523
Yeah, maybe like "I'm gonna feel
that in the morning" dangerous.
527
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,876
Also, Mom, come on,
the tape we made is bad.
528
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:27,378
This is how she gets on the show
and wins all the money
529
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,622
and generously shares
50 to 65% of it with us.
530
00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:32,366
Kids, Aunt Gayle
is not gonna get on the show.
531
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,035
Do you actually think Aunt
Gayle's gonna get on the show?
532
00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:37,613
-I mean... yeah.
-[Gene and Tina] Yeah.
533
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:39,706
Aunt Gayle's tough.
She's scrappy as hell.
534
00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,467
She's a firecracker.
I think she gets it from me.
535
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,786
[Gene]
I wouldn't want
to go up against her.
536
00:17:43,879 --> 00:17:45,304
I feel like
she's the kind of person
537
00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:46,789
who would bite your nose off
if she had to.
538
00:17:46,882 --> 00:17:48,215
Throw your ding-a-ling
in a river.
539
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,475
She doesn't have gym strength,
540
00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:50,960
but she's got that
inner demon strength
541
00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:52,144
that you do not
want to mess with.
542
00:17:52,297 --> 00:17:53,387
I mean, Mom, look at her.
543
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,797
She's doing it,
she's climbing up
544
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,465
a 30-foot bridge
that's at an angle.
545
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,076
That's how I want to be
when I'm middle-aged.
546
00:17:58,303 --> 00:17:59,243
Me too.
547
00:17:59,395 --> 00:18:00,578
Maybe with a little less
of my underwear
548
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:02,305
sticking out of
the top of my shorts, though.
549
00:18:02,323 --> 00:18:04,974
And bottom, too, somehow.
But still.
550
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:05,917
She is doing it.
551
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:08,735
I mean, so, so slowly,
but, yeah.
552
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:09,995
Wait, what were
the other reasons
553
00:18:10,148 --> 00:18:11,647
you didn't think
Gayle should do this?
554
00:18:11,740 --> 00:18:14,926
Oh, uh... I think, actually,
555
00:18:15,077 --> 00:18:16,836
you guys were right,
she's got this.
556
00:18:16,988 --> 00:18:19,488
Looking good, Gayle!
Keep going!
557
00:18:19,582 --> 00:18:20,339
That's what I'm doing.
558
00:18:20,491 --> 00:18:22,007
I'm just saying, looking good!
559
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,159
Looking strong!
560
00:18:23,161 --> 00:18:24,493
Not so much talking, please!
561
00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:26,512
Yup. Yup. Sorry!
I'm so proud of you.
562
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:28,497
-You're an inspiration.
-Still talking.
563
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:30,833
-Still distracting.
-[whispers] Sorry.
564
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,735
Thank you! [straining]
565
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:36,280
Whoa, whoa.
566
00:18:36,507 --> 00:18:37,782
[grunts]
567
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:40,009
Aah!
568
00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:42,528
Cast me!
569
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,180
[Linda gasps]
570
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:46,582
-[Gayle] Oh!
-[all cheering]
571
00:18:48,686 --> 00:18:49,852
[Linda] And cut.
572
00:18:49,871 --> 00:18:51,629
[Bob]
Look, this electric grinder
573
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,690
is amazing. And, sure,
it saves me a lot of time.
574
00:18:54,709 --> 00:18:56,909
Too much time, maybe.
I don't have a lot of hobbies.
575
00:18:57,061 --> 00:19:00,138
A-Anyway, I thought it was the
same end product but quicker,
576
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:02,122
but I don't know
if it is, exactly.
577
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,066
I think they taste
a little different,
578
00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:05,551
and I think I know
what the difference was.
579
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,479
With the old hand grinder, yeah,
it was hard to crank it,
580
00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:11,390
and it'd fight me
and sometimes I'd swear at it,
581
00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:15,044
but the meat wound up having
a little bit more texture,
582
00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:16,821
you know what I mean?
More complexity.
583
00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:19,231
More like it had
been through something.
584
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,400
I mean, it had been through
a grinder, obviously,
585
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,886
but, I don't know,
maybe it's all in my head.
586
00:19:23,979 --> 00:19:26,998
I-I g-I guess I just,
I miss that grind.
587
00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:28,499
I-I need that grind.
588
00:19:28,726 --> 00:19:31,818
I mean, you know, it's kind of
a metaphor for life, really.
589
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,079
We get... we get older
and it beats us up,
590
00:19:34,232 --> 00:19:37,175
but we also get more textured,
more complex, more...
591
00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:41,253
more beautifully ground up
into delicious burgers.
592
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,121
So, you want to return it?
593
00:19:43,199 --> 00:19:44,573
Y-Yes. Please.
594
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:47,351
-There's a restocking fee.
-Yup, yup, I figured. Okay.
595
00:19:47,503 --> 00:19:49,020
And you saw the line
of people behind you.
596
00:19:49,171 --> 00:19:50,188
Oh! Oh, my God.
597
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:53,691
Uh, sorry. Sorry.
Sorry about that.
598
00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:56,510
-♪ ♪
-[host] If you think
your stuff is
599
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,030
tough enough,
we want to see your audition.
600
00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,537
I think this is it,
I think this is the part.
601
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,705
I-- There she is!
602
00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:09,615
-[all cheering]
-[phone rings]
603
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:12,601
[laughs] Yes! Yes, we saw it.
604
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:14,770
We just saw it.
We were all watching.
605
00:20:14,789 --> 00:20:16,714
You-- Yeah, you looked amazing.
606
00:20:16,941 --> 00:20:19,625
I know. I know, I'm sorry you
didn't get picked for the show.
607
00:20:19,794 --> 00:20:21,886
Oh, I know, I'm--
But yeah, but yeah,
608
00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:24,004
you were on the show,
technically.
609
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:26,465
That's right!
Uh, I didn't see a nipple.
610
00:20:26,617 --> 00:20:28,041
You thought
you could see your nipple?
611
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,560
Oh, it's a good thing.
Oh, yeah--
612
00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:32,688
Oh, then yeah. Yeah,
it looked good, it looked good.
613
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:37,276
Aw, what the hell.
614
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:41,130
[breathing heavily]
615
00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:42,798
Here it goes.
616
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,660
Oh, God. [straining]
617
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,395
Holy split! I'm down!
618
00:20:48,489 --> 00:20:51,398
I did it. I did it.
Bob! Kids!
619
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,975
Come look!
I'm doing a split!
620
00:20:53,144 --> 00:20:54,326
-[Louise whoops]
-[Gene and Tina] Yay, mom!
621
00:20:54,479 --> 00:20:55,902
[Linda]
But hurry up. Oh, hurry up.
622
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,314
I need a little help up.
Mama's stuck. Mama's stuck.
623
00:20:58,332 --> 00:20:59,924
-[Tina] Oh, okay.
-[Gene] On our way.
-[Bob] Yup, yup, coming.
624
00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:01,759
♪ Pump up the Gayle,
pump her up ♪
625
00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:03,986
♪ While your feet are stompin' ♪
626
00:21:04,005 --> 00:21:05,746
♪ And the Gayle is pumpin' ♪
627
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,339
♪ Look ahead,
the Gayle is jumpin' ♪
628
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,325
♪ Pump the Gayle a little more ♪
629
00:21:09,343 --> 00:21:11,102
♪ Get the Gayle going
on the Gayle floor ♪
630
00:21:11,329 --> 00:21:12,937
♪ See, 'cause that's
where the party's at ♪
631
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:16,015
♪ And you'd find out
if you Gayle that ♪
632
00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:17,775
♪ I want ♪
633
00:21:17,926 --> 00:21:19,110
♪ A Gayle to stay ♪
634
00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:21,837
♪ Get your Gayle on the Gayle
tonight ♪
635
00:21:21,856 --> 00:21:23,022
♪ Gayle my day ♪
636
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:26,342
♪ Gayle my, Gayle my day,
Gayle ♪
637
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,010
♪ Pump up the Gayle ♪
638
00:21:28,103 --> 00:21:29,620
♪ Pump her, pump her,
pump her, pump her ♪
639
00:21:29,772 --> 00:21:31,104
♪ Yo, pump her up. ♪
640
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:32,681
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
641
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:35,084
and TOYOTA.