1 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,689 {\an8}Aw, new pennies, so shiny. 2 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,817 {\an8}You got your whole life ahead of ya. Don't end up in the gutter. 3 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,319 It's doing that weird clanky, wobbly, screechy thing again. 4 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,488 - Your ding-a-ling? - Or is it your butt this time? 5 00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:31,573 I'm guessing your back? 6 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,074 {\an8}No, it's our meat grinder. 7 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,869 {\an8}I think it's finally seriously time to get a new one. 8 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,039 {\an8}Aw, really? But the meat grinder's like part of the family. 9 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,583 {\an8}It watched the kids grow up, and never grinded them once. 10 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,209 {\an8}I know. That was nice of it, 11 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,711 {\an8}but it gets jammed all the time 12 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,048 {\an8}and it fights me unless I wiggle the crank halfway through every turn. 13 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,674 {\an8}- So we're back on your ding-a-ling? - Gene. 14 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:50,800 {\an8}Oh, Gayle's here. 15 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,926 {\an8}And she's running? 16 00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:55,055 {\an8}She fell. She's up. Okay, she's fine. She's fine. 17 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,641 {\an8}Guess who you're looking at. 18 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,226 {\an8}I know this one. Aunt Gayle. 19 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:03,104 {\an8}You're looking at a contestant 20 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:06,900 {\an8}on the next season of Tough Stuff Island. 21 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,694 - Tough Stuff Island? - The TV show? The one on TV? 22 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,779 That's the one. 23 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,947 {\an8}Oh, that show where the contestants are on an island 24 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:15,575 {\an8}and they have to do all sorts of obstacles and challenges? 25 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,536 {\an8}But the hardest challenge is figuring out where to poop, I assume. 26 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,081 {\an8}- Yep. - And the winner gets a million dollars. 27 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,124 {\an8}Aunt Gayle, you could win a million dollars. 28 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:26,503 {\an8}I probably will, right? Just as soon as they pick me. 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,630 {\an8}After they see my audition tape, 30 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,966 {\an8}which I haven't sent in yet, 'cause I haven't made it yet. 31 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,051 {\an8}Hmm. 32 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:36,721 {\an8}But, as far as everyone in my apartment building thinks, 33 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,556 {\an8}I've already been cast on the show. 34 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:39,724 {\an8}Why do they think that? 35 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,893 {\an8}- 'Cause I told them that. - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 36 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:46,106 {\an8}Isn't that gonna be a little hard since they pick people who look muscle-y 37 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,690 {\an8}and maybe mostly under 40? 38 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,276 {\an8}No, Mom, there's always a scrappy middle-aged contestant 39 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,028 who can do one-armed pull-ups. 40 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:54,114 I bet I could even do two-armed pull-ups. 41 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,198 Whoa! 42 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,700 Anyway, that's why I'm here, Linda. 43 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,869 I need your help making my audition tape. 44 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,704 Oh... - Uh-huh. 45 00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:04,624 I'm thinking I'll climb a building, I'm a good climber, 46 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,918 or swim across the ocean? 47 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,212 You know, one of the littler ones. Or both. 48 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,296 Seems doable. 49 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:11,798 I don't have it all worked out, 50 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,591 but I do know that, at the end, 51 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:17,262 I'm gonna rip off my shirt and right here on my upper belly, 52 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,139 it'll say "Cast Gayle." 53 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,558 Which I would need to re-do for the actual tape 54 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,226 {\an8}because I wrote it upside down. 55 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,228 - That's how you spell Gayle? - I think so. 56 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,312 What are we waiting for? 57 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,773 Let's get cracking on this audition tape, people. 58 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,400 No. No, no, wait, hang on. 59 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,444 I don't know about this one, Gayle. It seems tough. 60 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,905 Yeah, that's the name of the show. Tough Stuff Island. 61 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,365 But maybe too tough? 62 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:40,702 Linda! Why can't you help me for once in your life? 63 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,453 Gayle, I help you all the time. 64 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:44,747 I helped you build a fake person to put in your window 65 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,916 so burglars didn't think you lived alone. 66 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,794 I helped you build a panic room for just your cats. 67 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:53,798 I let you practice on me to see if doing acupuncture was your thing. 68 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,384 P.S, it's not. And that was just last week. 69 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:58,011 Okay, fine. You don't wanna help? 70 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:02,557 I'll just tape a camera to my head and do action stuff in front of a mirror. 71 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,725 I just have to get a mirror. 72 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,312 Don't worry, I'll never ask you for anything ever again. 73 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,481 Can I borrow some money? For the camera and tape and the mirror? 74 00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:12,358 I'll pay you back when I get the million. 75 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:15,111 Yeah, we don't have any hand-crank meat grinders, 76 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,238 'cause we live in the present. 77 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,157 All we have are these electric ones. 78 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,910 Well, these cost more money than my old one did. 79 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,871 This one will grind between four to five pounds per minute. 80 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,290 Whoa. That would take me, like, a half hour with my grinder. 81 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,752 Yeah, this thing doesn't just grind meat. It makes time. 82 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,629 "It makes time." Wow. 83 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,422 There's still magic in this world. 84 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,590 I have a credit card. 85 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:36,925 Okay, let's get that out. 86 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,801 This is when you gotta dig deep. 87 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:42,513 They're pushing 50-gallon drums full of the heaviest sand we could find. 88 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:45,350 This is when you're asking yourself, "Am I Tough Stuff?" 89 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:48,019 Why would Gayle even think she could go on this show anyway? 90 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,479 Those are young, strong people 91 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,106 with body hair where you'd expect it to be. 92 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:53,733 - Mmm. - And muscles. 93 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,152 I mean, Gayle and I are past that point in our lives. 94 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,363 Like I could always do a split on the dance floor 95 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,658 and then I couldn't at my cousin Teresa's wedding. Remember that? 96 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,034 Uh... Uh-huh. 97 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,369 And I was fine with that. 98 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,579 I mean, I won't do a split anymore. So what? 99 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,165 Same for me. I'll stop doing splits at weddings. 100 00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:10,583 - Bob. - What? 101 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,628 If you think your stuff is tough enough, we wanna see your audition. 102 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,760 But, of course, not everyone's stuff is up to snuff. 103 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,601 Ouch! We'll be right back. 104 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:29,852 What the hell was that? 105 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,897 I wasn't looking. I'm reading the grinder manual. 106 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,275 They humiliate people who send in bad auditions? 107 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,819 Oh. Yeah. I kinda remember that now. 108 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:38,945 That's horrible! 109 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,948 They don't say their names. Don't they blur their faces? 110 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,033 You think those people don't know who they are? 111 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:45,785 And their families and their neighbors? 112 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,370 - That's gonna be Gayle! - Right. 113 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:51,416 Her name's gonna be written on her hairy, jiggly belly for everyone to see. 114 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,835 Like a sack of mayo with hair stuck to it. 115 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,297 Oh, God. Would it help to hear more about the electric grinder? 116 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,798 How many gears you think it has? 117 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,508 We've gotta shoot her audition video. 118 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,176 - We do? - And edit it. 119 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:03,928 Oh... Uh, okay. 120 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,305 She cannot end up on that 121 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,223 "Let's laugh at these idiots" rejection reel, Bob. 122 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,309 - She would be crushed. - Yes! Got it! 123 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,060 - Do you get it? Crushed! - Yes, I got it. 124 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,980 We'll help her make a good audition tape? 125 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,857 Boring. Boring audition tape. 126 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,066 Why... Wait. Okay. 127 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,860 Simple. Instantly forgettable. 128 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,529 Okay, but not me, right? I gotta stay in the restaurant. 129 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,656 Plus, Lin, meat grinder? 130 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:27,118 I don't know if you noticed, but I got a new one and... 131 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,703 Okay, you're asleep. 132 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,998 It has four gears, by the way. 133 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,333 Four. Four, four. 134 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,293 Yeah. Here, I'll hold up the picture. 135 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,506 Oh, look who's the early bird nerd. 136 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:43,509 Yeah, with the new grinder, I was done downstairs pretty quick. 137 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,887 Now I'm just figuring out what to do with my morning. 138 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:49,891 Organize paperwork maybe? Learn French or Spanish? 139 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,392 It's just freed up a lot of time. 140 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,061 Too bad we're already grown, Papa. 141 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,438 Yeah. You coulda spent more time with us, but you blew it. 142 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,647 Yeah. Oh, well. 143 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,149 Wanna come with us to the park? 144 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,233 No, I'm busy. 145 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,195 Okay, all right, we're off to film Gayle's audition tape. 146 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,488 We'll be back as soon as we can. 147 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,365 Yep. We got some big ideas. 148 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,950 Gayle fights a bear. Do we know a good place to rent a bear? 149 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,494 - Maybe no bears. - We'll see. 150 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,455 Does anyone know if Gayle has her helicopter pilot's license? 151 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,706 I wanna say she does? 152 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:16,918 I think we want this to be a kinda normal audition tape, you know? 153 00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,002 "Normal"? 154 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:20,713 I mean, great normal. You know, exciting normal. 155 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:24,634 Like, "Wow! Can you believe how normal that was, but also, really good?" 156 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,135 So, like bread? 157 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:29,263 Yes, exactly. We're gonna make the bread of audition tapes. 158 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,973 Uh... Yeah, let's go. 159 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,559 'Cause I just thought of a place that might rent bears. 160 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,645 - Now I want bread. - Bear first, then bread. 161 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,480 But the bear doesn't get any bread. 162 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,732 Aw! - Fine. One bread. 163 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,153 Ooh. 164 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,988 You wanna film some of this? 165 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:50,827 No. So, I thought we'd start over here with the step-ups. 166 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,911 - Step-ups? - Step-ups? 167 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,037 Yeah, step-ups. 168 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,331 You step up on the beam, and then you step down. 169 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,833 - Then what? - You step up again. 170 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,876 - And then you... - Step back down. 171 00:06:58,876 --> 00:06:59,961 Got it. Wait. 172 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,712 How 'bout Gayle does a few step-ups, 173 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,881 but then she rips the beam out of the ground 174 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:05,216 and twirls it above her head? 175 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:07,969 We just have to dig this part up a little bit. 176 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,680 No, no, no. The normal step-ups are gonna look great on tape. 177 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,766 Okay. What if Gene climbs on Gayle's back while she's doing it? 178 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,518 And I've got my hands over her eyes 179 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:18,020 and I'm screaming, "I'm doing this because I love you!" 180 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,564 Gayle, just do some step-ups. 181 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,274 - Gene, no climbing on Aunt Gayle. - Boo. 182 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,067 And action! 183 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:26,821 ♪ And I'm stepping up And I'm stepping down ♪ 184 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,239 And rip it out of the ground. 185 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,323 Okay. 186 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,908 No, no, no, no. Just stick with the stepping. 187 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,034 Oh. Yeah. 188 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,120 - And, Gene, get ready to mount Gayle. - Always ready. 189 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,204 Kids, knock it off. 190 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,957 - Tina, you're the bear. In three, two... - Wait, what? 191 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,459 - Cue Gene and the bear. - No. 192 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,919 Gayle, look out, bear! 193 00:07:41,919 --> 00:07:43,171 Cut, cut, cut! Cut! 194 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,965 Perfect! We'll clean it up in post. Let's keep moving, people. 195 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,842 One burger of the day. 196 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,720 Mmm, mmm, mmm! Come to papa, my lunchtime lover. 197 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:54,056 Hmm. I don't like it when you call the burger your lunchtime lover. 198 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,976 I thought you said it was okay as long as it wasn't every time. 199 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:00,313 - Fine, fine. - Mmm. Mmm! 200 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,900 What? I won't say it next time. I'll just think it. 201 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,986 No, I was just, you know, seeing what you think of the burger. 202 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,112 It's good. 203 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,363 Yeah. And? 204 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:12,617 And it fills an empty hole inside of me? 205 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,535 It's the one time of the day that I feel okay? 206 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:17,538 Sorry. I was just asking about the burger itself. 207 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:20,124 - 'Cause I got a new meat grinder. - Oh. 208 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,626 I kinda bared my soul there. 209 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,127 You're talking about the taste? 210 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,921 Yeah. Does it taste any different? 211 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,131 Okay. Yeah, now I'm getting something. 212 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,591 Mmm. There it is. 213 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,969 Different, but really good, but not too different. 214 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:33,846 Is that right? 215 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,139 It's whatever you think. 216 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,390 Is it what you want me to think? 217 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,975 I didn't know there'd be a quiz today, Bobby. 218 00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,060 Do you wanna see it? 219 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,646 - Fast, huh? - So fast. 220 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,147 - This part lights up. - Does it? 221 00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,526 Yeah. It's a little work light, I guess. Or maybe for parties? 222 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,985 It's a really nice meat grinder. 223 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:50,279 - You notice anything else? - Uh... 224 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,740 I organized those shelves. I mean, I started to. 225 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:55,451 Geez. I feel like you should put a sheet over the old one, 226 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,953 so it doesn't have to watch this. 227 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,955 I always pictured its eyes were on the other side. 228 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,331 So, it's staring at the wall. 229 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,875 You think the eyes are on that side? They're on this side. 230 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,545 You know what? This is over. Let's go back upstairs. 231 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,837 We're goin' back up. 232 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,131 So, we're gonna get you running on the beach. 233 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:12,385 The ocean's nice, and people can sort of focus on that if they want to. 234 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,970 Maybe I could even pan to it a bit. 235 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,764 In the background, if need be, and, you know, pan a little bit. 236 00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:19,976 And maybe you film Aunt Gayle rescuing Tina from a shark attack. 237 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,394 Ooh, I like that. 238 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:24,397 Wait, why is a shark attacking me? Does it know I'm a bear? 239 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,815 No, no shark attack. No. 240 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,609 How about you start on me, a handsome sunbather. 241 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,528 Gayle enters frame, running like the wind, 242 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:34,156 and she hurdles me, saying, "Nice tan, young man." 243 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,325 Kids, stop. I know you're trying to help, 244 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,952 but Gayle is just gonna do a normal, 245 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,204 hopefully coordinated, running down the beach. 246 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,581 Action. 247 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,254 And panning to the ocean. 248 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,089 And... Go! 249 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:55,970 Wait, stop. Why are you doing that? You look like a giant baby. 250 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,097 What? You know this is how I climb stairs. 251 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,558 - No, it's not. - Yeah, they did that study? 252 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,185 This is how people are supposed to climb stairs. 253 00:10:03,185 --> 00:10:05,104 Everyone else is doing it the dumb way. 254 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,940 How about we try it the dumb way on this next take, okay? 255 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,609 I think this is gonna make a good finale. 256 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,611 Finale? Going up stairs? 257 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,321 Yeah, look how many there are. 258 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:16,532 I'm sorry, Mom, do you think finale means dumb, unimpressive thing? 259 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:19,619 You kids just don't understand editing. We got a lotta stuff. 260 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,746 We put a little music under it, it's gonna be great. 261 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,372 Just saying, Gene is ready for Gayle 262 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,541 to kick him through the goal post like a football. 263 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:26,751 It's not gonna hurt, is it? 264 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,877 Nah. Uh-uh. 265 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,921 Everyone, trust me. Okay? Trust my vision. 266 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,423 And action. 267 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,885 This feels weird. Does it look weird? 268 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,553 Really weird. - Shush, shush. 269 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,141 Huh? 270 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,518 Wow. That's great. 271 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,854 You stopped it before I ripped off my shirt. 272 00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:49,732 You got to see a little bit. It's better. Leave 'em wanting more. 273 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,817 I say give 'em all of it all the time. 274 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,819 Mom, can I talk to you in the kitchen? 275 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,489 It's about something private. My butt. 276 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,824 - And Tina and Gene need to come, too. - Okay. 277 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,869 That tape isn't gonna get Aunt Gayle on Tough Stuff Island. 278 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,829 We don't know that. It's good enough. 279 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,623 There's nothing better than good enough. 280 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,250 A million dollars, Mom! A million dollars! 281 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,585 Gayle said she's a good climber. 282 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,170 She didn't climb anything besides stairs. 283 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,254 And the step-up. 284 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,422 - Right, and the step-up. - Sort of. 285 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,425 Was. She was a good climber. She was a great climber. 286 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:19,428 But she can't climb to the top of the Old Mill Drawbridge 287 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,931 and jump into the canal like she used to when we were teenagers. 288 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,684 - Wait, what? - You guys were teenagers? Hot. 289 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,311 Let's film that. Why aren't we filming that? 290 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,396 What? No! 291 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,523 I said it's not like she could do that. 292 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,067 That was a really long time ago. Things are different now. 293 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,361 Yeah, do we even have drawbridges anymore? 294 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,905 Did you guys live in a castle when you were teenagers? 295 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,908 Come on, Mom. Climbing up a bridge? Jumping into a canal? 296 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,785 That's what we should've been filming today. 297 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,286 Not the crapshow we just watched. 298 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,371 "Crapshow"? 299 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,123 Yeah. It means a show that's not good. 300 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,792 I know, Tina. That is the tape we are sending in. 301 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,877 Kids, I am going back into the living room. 302 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,588 You meet me in there. Bring crackers. And a better attitude. 303 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,258 And cheese. And that dip that might be expired. 304 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,385 Smell it first. Thank you. 305 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,971 Guys, if Aunt Gayle says she can still climb that bridge, 306 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,806 then we gotta film her climbing that bridge. 307 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,474 That's what'll get her on the show. 308 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,017 But what about everything Mom said? 309 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,520 Tina, Mom is not on "Team Million Dollars" anymore. 310 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,605 She's on "Team Being Weird," for some reason. 311 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,190 Sorry, I don't follow sports. 312 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:14,358 So, what do we do? 313 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:15,818 The only thing we can do. 314 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,406 - Next stop, Old Mill Drawbridge. - Hi, kids! 315 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,949 Shh! 316 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:24,285 I brought coffee! 317 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,828 You kids drink coffee, right? 318 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,621 I ran out of filters, so I used a T-shirt, 319 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,874 but I think it tastes better. Try it. 320 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,710 Mmm! Cotton-y. 321 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,090 So, this is what the sun does in the morning. 322 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,800 Little showy-offy. 323 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,885 I've been up since 4:00. 324 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:44,096 My clocks are on Europe time 'cause my cats think we all live in Paris. 325 00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,681 That explains their attitude. 326 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,476 Ah! I can't wait to see the Old Mill Drawbridge. 327 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,395 When we were in high school, Lin and I used to go there all the time. 328 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:54,023 We smoked so much... Meat there. 329 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,775 Ah, to be young again. 330 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,694 Smoking meat after school like there's no tomorrow. 331 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,696 Where is Linda? Why couldn't she come? 332 00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,032 Uh, yeah, she wanted to come, but... 333 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,869 She had to wash Father. Today's the day. Once a month. 334 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,329 She hoses him off out back. 335 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:11,874 Okay. Makes sense. Time for some pump-up tunes. 336 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,293 ♪ Pump up the Gayle! Pump it up... ♪ 337 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,086 Is this you singing over the song? 338 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:19,340 Yeah. I heard it on the radio and I recorded myself singing, 339 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,966 'cause I thought of better lyrics. 340 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,344 ♪ Get the Gayle going on the Gayle floor ♪ 341 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:24,970 Morning, babe. 342 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,599 Morning. I made breakfast. And coffee. There's some breakfast left. 343 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,142 I've been up for a while. 344 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,645 Aw, can't you sleep in a little with the new grinder? 345 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,648 You don't have to get up so early and do all your grinding anymore. Right? 346 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,317 Yeah, but nobody told my body, so, yeah, 347 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,569 breakfast, that I also ate some of. 348 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:43,322 You don't need to know how much there used to be. It was a lot. 349 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,449 - Why does it smell like fart in here? - I mean... 350 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:46,992 Sulfur. It's sulfur-ey. 351 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,160 Yeah. Six eggs. 352 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,662 - Oh, my God. Bob. - Yeah. 353 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,871 Did the kids have any? 354 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,249 No, 'cause they're gone. They left, like, a while ago. 355 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,333 - They left? - Yeah. 356 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,752 They said you knew they were going with Gayle someplace, 357 00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,797 and they said if you're looking for the audition tape, they have it, 358 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,466 'cause they wanna find a cool envelope to put it in. 359 00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:06,929 But now that I see your face, I feel like I didn't ask enough questions. 360 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,015 And they had towels, which I didn't ask about. 361 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,142 What? 362 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:15,521 ♪ Gayle my day! Gayle my day! ♪ 363 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,648 Who's that? 364 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:23,070 Oh, uh... It's someone named Spam Risk? You don't wanna get that. 365 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,530 He sounds interesting. 366 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,074 No. Avoid. His last name is Risk. 367 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,035 His first name is working for me. I say give him a chance. 368 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,704 But not today, right, Gene? 369 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,081 Right. Today we play hard to get. 370 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,917 Hmm. I've never done that before. Fun. 371 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:41,255 Argh! Now I gotta go to the bridge to stop Gayle from doing something dumb 372 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:42,715 'cause our dumb kids are dumb. 373 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,425 Where are the keys? Where are the keys? 374 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:48,053 Linda, do you want me to drive? You seem a little rage-y. 375 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,638 I am not rage-y! 376 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,182 No, right. It's just that when you're like this, 377 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,018 not rage-y at all, but, you know, 378 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:56,562 you don't always drive as well as you normally do. 379 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,564 Move it, Slowbodan Milosevic. 380 00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,899 Yeah, you can drive. 381 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:04,320 Well, I haven't climbed it in years, but it'll come back, right? 382 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,863 Just like climbing a bridge. 383 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,949 If anything, I've only gotten stronger and hotter since then. 384 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,744 And my bottom muscles are off the charts lately. 385 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,245 It sure is tall, 386 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,956 and leaning in a way that looks hard to climb. 387 00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:17,207 She says she can do it. 388 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,044 And she's got herself pumped up. I'm pumped up. Are you pumped up? 389 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,170 I could "Gayle My Day." 390 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,296 That's the spirit. 391 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,131 All right, I'm going. 392 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,634 - Ready when you are, tough stuff. - Island. 393 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,012 Oh. 394 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,932 We'll just put some music over it. 395 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,975 Go, go, go, go, go, drive, drive! 396 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,727 That's helpful, Lin. Thanks. 397 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,229 Ahh, we gotta stop Gayle before she gets hurt. 398 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:40,940 Or makes a fool of herself. Or both. 399 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,067 I mean, do you really think she might get hurt? 400 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,611 I don't know. All I know is that she's doing something 401 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,780 that people our age should not try to do. 402 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,740 She's just... She's got to accept it. 403 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,909 We're old. We're middle-aged ladies. 404 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,327 We're not as strong as we used to be. 405 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:54,954 We're not shiny and new anymore. 406 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,123 I accept it. Look at me. So I couldn't do a split at the wedding, 407 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:01,460 something I've been able to do since I was a kid. So what? I'm fine with it. 408 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,129 Uh-huh. Yep. I mean, you almost did a split. 409 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,297 You were more down than up. 410 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,341 I'm not talking about me, Bob. 411 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,885 I'm talking about Gayle! This is about Gayle! 412 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,304 Right, I know. Obviously. Yeah. 413 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,014 Look out for the duck! 414 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,979 How am I doing? Almost at the top? 415 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,230 Top-ish? 416 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,315 You still have most of the bridge to go. 417 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:25,567 You gotta stop asking every few seconds. You'll know. 418 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:28,362 'Cause you'll run out of bridge? 419 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:31,782 Crap. And maybe pick up the pace, Gayle? 420 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,325 A little bit. Huh? No reason. 421 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,828 Cut! Cut! 422 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,789 Hi, Linda. Hi, Bob. Bob, you look nice and clean. 423 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,374 Hi, Gayle. Thank you? 424 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:44,128 Oh, hey, Mom. Wait, when did that drawbridge get here? 425 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:47,631 And how did Gayle get on it? This is crazy. 426 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:48,757 Why are we cutting? 427 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,427 Is it 'cause of all my farting? I thought they were silent. 428 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,511 Hang on, Gayle! 429 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,638 I gotta yell at the kids about something for a second. 430 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:57,141 Are you gonna yell at us about how much you love us? 431 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,226 Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm. 432 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,936 Do I just... I'll keep climbing. 433 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,522 Yep. Keep up that great momentum. 434 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,066 Hello, Mother. So, you seem upset. 435 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,360 I know you had some reservations about doing this... 436 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,154 I am livid right now. 437 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,281 For one thing, I told you kids not to do this. 438 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,824 For another, there are so many reasons 439 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,576 Gayle should not be doing this! 440 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,660 Any of this! 441 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,996 Why not? I mean, yes, it's a little dangerous, 442 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,540 but I don't think it's break-all-your-bones dangerous. 443 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,834 Maybe "I'm gonna feel that in the morning" dangerous. 444 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,170 Also, Mom, come on, the tape we made is bad. 445 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,921 This is how she gets on the show. 446 00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,966 And wins all the money and generously shares 50 to 65% of it with us. 447 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,552 Kids! Aunt Gayle is not gonna get on the show. 448 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,472 Do you actually think Aunt Gayle's gonna get on the show? 449 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,681 I mean, yeah. 450 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,891 Yeah. 451 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,935 Aunt Gayle's tough. She's scrappy as hell, she's a firecracker. 452 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:43,228 I think she gets it from me. 453 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,813 I wouldn't wanna go up against her. 454 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,691 She's the kind of person who would bite your nose off if she had to. 455 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,234 Throw your ding-a-ling in a river. 456 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,569 She doesn't have gym strength, 457 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,405 but she's got inner demon strength that you do not wanna mess with. 458 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,157 I mean, Mom, look at her. She's doing it. 459 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,618 She's climbing up a 30-foot bridge that's at an angle. 460 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,495 That's how I wanna be when I'm middle-aged. 461 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,705 Me too. Maybe with a little less of my underwear 462 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,373 sticking out of the top of my shorts. 463 00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,918 And bottom too, somehow? But still... 464 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,044 She is doing it. 465 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,880 I mean, so, so slowly, but, yeah. 466 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,841 What were the other reasons you didn't think Gayle should do this? 467 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:18,013 Oh, uh, I think, actually, you guys were right. She's got this. 468 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,432 Looking good, Gayle! Keep going! 469 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,558 That's what I'm doing. 470 00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:24,144 I'm just sayin', lookin' good! Lookin' strong! 471 00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,729 Not so much talking, please. 472 00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,774 Yep, yep. Sorry. I'm so proud of you. You're an inspiration. 473 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,776 Still talking. Still distracting. 474 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:31,902 Sorry. 475 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,363 Thank you! 476 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,078 Ahhh! 477 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:43,997 Cast me! 478 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,213 And cut! 479 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,674 Look, this electric grinder is amazing. 480 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:57,094 And, sure, it saves me a lot of time. Too much time, maybe. 481 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,428 I don't have a lot of hobbies. 482 00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:01,431 Anyway, I thought it was the same end product, but quicker, 483 00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,517 but I don't know if it is, exactly. 484 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,269 I think they taste a little different. 485 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,104 And I think I know what the difference was. 486 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,940 With the old hand grinder, yeah, it was hard to crank it, 487 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,609 and it'd fight me and sometimes I'd swear at it, 488 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:16,155 but the meat wound up having a little bit more texture. 489 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,198 You know what I mean? More complexity. 490 00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:20,492 More like it had been through something. 491 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:24,079 I mean, it had been through a grinder, obviously, but I dunno, 492 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,497 maybe it's all in my head. 493 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:28,167 I guess I just miss that grind. 494 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,626 I need that grind. 495 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:33,088 I mean, you know, it's kind of a metaphor for life, really. 496 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,382 We get older, and it beats us up, 497 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:38,135 but we also get more textured, more complex. 498 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:42,556 More beautifully ground up into delicious burgers. 499 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,224 So, you wanna return it? 500 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,684 Yes, please. 501 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:48,478 - There's a restocking fee. - Yep, I figured. Okay. 502 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,105 And you saw the line of people behind you. 503 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:51,648 Oh! Oh, my God. 504 00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,818 Uh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that. 505 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:59,740 {\an8}If you think your stuff is tough enough, we wanna see your audition. 506 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,664 I think this is it. I think this is the part. 507 00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:08,999 There she is! 508 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:10,834 Gayle! 509 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:15,923 Yes! Yes, we saw it! We just saw it. We were all watching! 510 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,966 Yeah, you looked amazing. 511 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:21,094 I know. I know, I'm sorry you didn't get picked for the show. 512 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,179 Oh, I know. 513 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:26,266 But, yeah, you were on the show, technically. That's right. 514 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:29,603 Uh, I didn't see a nipple. You thought you could see your nipple? 515 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:33,440 It's a good thing! Then, yeah. Yeah, it looked good, it looked good. 516 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:38,820 Ah, what the hell. 517 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:43,533 Here it goes. 518 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,410 Oh, God. 519 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:51,541 Holy split! I'm down! I did it! I did it! 520 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,586 Bob! Kids! Come look! I'm doing a split! 521 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:55,671 Yay, Mom! 522 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:58,298 But hurry up! I need a little help up. 523 00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,884 Mama's stuck! Mama's stuck! Okay. Coming. 524 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:03,178 {\an8}♪ Pump up the Gayle Pump her up ♪ 525 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:05,097 {\an8}♪ While your feet Are stomping ♪ 526 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,765 {\an8}♪ And the Gayle is pumping ♪ 527 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,600 {\an8}♪ Look ahead The Gayle is jumpin' ♪ 528 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,602 {\an8}♪ Pump the Gayle A little more ♪ 529 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,813 {\an8}♪ Get the Gayle goin' on the Gayle floor ♪ 530 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,314 {\an8}♪ See, 'cause that's where the party's at ♪ 531 00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,650 {\an8}♪ And you'd find out if you Gayle that ♪ 532 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,487 {\an8}♪ Awa, a Gayle to stay ♪ 533 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,323 {\an8}♪ Get your Gayle on the Gayle tonight ♪ 534 00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:27,577 {\an8}♪ Gayle my day, Gayle my Gayle my day, Gayle ♪ 535 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:28,870 {\an8}♪ Pump up the Gayle ♪ 536 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,914 {\an8}♪ Pump her, pump her Pump her, pump her ♪