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[♪ theme music playing]
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{\an8}Gene, what are you doing?
Why are you opening the cash register?
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{\an8}- [Gene] Found the pickle.
- I thought that was a good hiding spot.
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{\an8}Kids, please don't put
a pickle in the cash register.
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{\an8}I shouldn't have to say that.
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{\an8}Dad, that attitude's not
really in the spirit of Hide the Pickle.
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{\an8}Do you think maybe you could play
a different game
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{\an8}or not play a game and just help?
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{\an8}Also, maybe you shouldn't call
the game Hide the Pickle.
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{\an8}- Why? What's wrong with Hide the Pickle?
- Well, it... Uh, never mind.
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{\an8}Hey, Sergeant Bosco.
Are we under arrest? [laughs]
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{\an8}- Oh, God. Are we?
- Not as far as I know.
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{\an8}So, Bob, how's things?
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{\an8}I'm actually doing pretty good. I, uh--
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{\an8}Listen, Bob, let me just interrupt
your rambling and cut to the chase here.
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{\an8}I need you to teach me
how to be a burger cook
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{\an8}for an undercover operation.
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{\an8}- [gasps]
- Uh... What?
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{\an8}You'll be compensated for your time,
and you and your family
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{\an8}will be anonymous and unconnected
to this investigation in every way.
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{\an8}- Wait.
- Undercover operation.
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{\an8}I'll take this one, Dad.
Yes, Sergeant Bosco, we are 100% in.
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{\an8}Ooh, undercover.
Who are you going after? The Mob?
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{\an8}Or a bunch of naughty surfers
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{\an8}like in that movie where Keanu Reeves
gets mad and shoots his gun in the air?
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{\an8}He probably killed a bunch of birds.
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{\an8}Investigating officers
aren't allowed to divulge details
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{\an8}of the case to citizens who assist
in officer training.
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{\an8}Well, I'm sure you can tell us.
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{\an8}Since we're part
of this investigation now.
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{\an8}No, we're not.
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{\an8}You can't back out now.
We're in too deep.
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{\an8}- [Bob] Tina.
- If you can't tell us anything,
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{\an8}then, darn,
I think we might be too busy to help.
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{\an8}I guess you'll have to find
another burger restaurant. Ugh, bummer.
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I don't wanna have
to find another restaurant.
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I already did the paperwork
for this one.
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Yeah.
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[sighs] Okay, fine.
Just don't tell the chief I told you.
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The guy we're going after
is a veteran thief.
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Jewelry, uncut gems, art.
And he's got a crew.
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They just pulled a job.
I mean, we think it was them.
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But we don't have a smoking gun.
That's where you come in, Bob.
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This guy, Vincent Bartos,
he's got a burger joint.
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- Really?
- It's a front.
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Lots of bad guys have fronts.
They launder money through them.
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Garages that don't fix any cars,
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crappy restaurants
that don't have any customers.
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- Dad, are we a front?
- Louise.
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But get this.
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Our guy, he's starting to take
his burger place
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a little more seriously.
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- Actually trying to make good food.
- Dad, you should try--
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Yeah. Yup. Gene, thank you.
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He fired his last line cook,
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and he's advertising for a real
legit experienced burger cook.
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We got a warrant
to send me in undercover.
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I have a job interview in a week.
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I don't get it.
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You're gonna make burgers for the guy
until he confesses?
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No. We know the restaurant's
a meeting place for his crew.
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Anything I overhear
while working there is admissible.
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We pull him in, we prosecute.
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Oh, and, uh, my undercover name
is Joe Josephs.
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That way, I only have to
remember the one name.
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Uh, is this guy dangerous?
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No. I mean, maybe he's cut off
a few fingers in the past
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of people who have double-crossed him.
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- Oh!
- As one does.
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- Maybe. Unconfirmed.
- [Bob groans]
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Relax, Bob.
It's only dangerous for me.
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But if my cover gets blown
and I get killed,
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it will be mostly your fault
for not doing a good job preparing me.
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But no pressure.
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- Great.
- [Bob groans]
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And to repeat, you will remain
anonymous and unconnected in any way.
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I sent in a fake resume
with fake references.
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And as far as Vincent knows,
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I worked at a place
in Long Island called Grillsville,
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which is no longer there.
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He called the number I gave
for reference,
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and he got my buddy Mack,
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who's a cop
and who's amazing at accents.
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- What accent did he do?
- I don't know. Italian or something.
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- Why Italian?
- 'Cause Mack's Italian.
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So he's just doing his normal voice.
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I'm just saying my backstory is covered.
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I just need to learn
how to tie my apron or twirl a spatula,
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- or whatever burger guys do.
- Um...
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- Come on, Dad.
- [all] Please.
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- [sighs] Okay, I'll teach you.
- Yeah!
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[kids cheering]
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How many weapons do we each get? Ten?
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You're gonna need wigs.
Everybody go get their wigs.
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- [Bob] Okay, uh... So--
- Meat goes on the grill?
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[chuckling] Yeah. I'm just trying
to think how to teach this.
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- Uh, Bob?
- Yeah?
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You know everyone knows
how to cook a burger, right?
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Everyone has a grill,
everyone makes burgers.
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My neighbor makes burgers every weekend,
and he is by far the dumbest guy ever.
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Yes. I know, everyone makes burgers,
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but in a restaurant
it's all about consistency.
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Can you make a good burger
20 times in a row?
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Money. Will people give it to you?
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[Bosco] Totally. That's great.
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Um, are you looking
at men's bathing suits?
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Yes. When the new suits come out,
I like to see what's available.
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- I need you to listen.
- [groans] Fine.
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Hey, teach me the lingo.
That'll be good.
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How do you say,
"Cheeseburger, rare, hold the onion"?
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Uh, I mean, just like that.
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No, no. You should
say something like, um,
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"Burn one, bloody, yellow blanket,
no tears."
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Or "One brown round, no crown,
in the mouth and flush it down."
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One hot single beef boy,
no wedding ring.
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Kids, come on.
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Sometimes I call French fries
spud buddies.
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[sighs] Linda,
can you make them do things out there?
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- Right, right, right. Kids, go, work.
- [Gene groans]
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Oh, oh! What if you say,
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"One Patty LaBelle,
not so well, no smell"?
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- Oh, that's good.
- Thank you, Lin. Helpful.
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So all of these went on
at different times, right?
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We need to keep track of each one.
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When to flip, when to take it off.
Which of them are rare.
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- Which are medium--
- Oh! The nozzle of the ice cream maker.
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- What?
- [Louise] Nope.
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Sergeant Bosco, you can't play
Hide the Pickle with my kids.
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- What?
- Stop playing that game with them.
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Louise, stop. We're busy.
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- [Louise] Fine.
- All right. Okay.
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What's his dill?
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♪ Joe Josephs, Joe Josephs ♪
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{\an8}♪ You're under arrest ♪
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♪ Joe Josephs, Joe Josephs ♪
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♪ He'll play "Hide the Pickle"
the best ♪
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♪ Joe Josephs, Joe Josephs ♪
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♪ His burger dreams
Putting you to the test ♪
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- Long day. No lunch break?
- No. We're a lunch place.
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It would be pretty hard
to take a lunch break.
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- Order up.
- All right. You know what?
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Let's see what you've learned.
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- You make it.
- Oh. I make it?
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- Yup. Go ahead and make it, Joe.
- Who's Joe?
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Isn't that the cover name
you told us to call you?
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Oh, right.
You, uh, you just said it weird.
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So make it myself?
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Yes. The thing you wanted me
to teach you.
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That I've been trying
to teach you all day.
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- Make a burger.
- Oh, wow. The big show.
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You've been training for this
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your whole life
for a couple hours today.
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You can do it, Sergeant Bosco. Maybe.
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Okay. Uh, first I put a patty
on the grill?
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- Yes.
- Nailing it.
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- Where are they again?
- In the fridge.
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The meat's in the fridge.
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- So you're gonna...
- Take it out?
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- Yes. And...
- Cook it?
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- Yes. And...
- Cook it real good.
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[all groan]
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Season the patty. Right?
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When it goes on the grill,
season the patty.
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Okay, okay. You didn't tell me that.
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I told you five times.
You weren't listening.
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You were playing Hide the Pickle.
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I thought that was
part of the training.
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It should be.
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[sighs] You said you needed to learn
how to pass as a burger cook.
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I told you to teach me
some of the lingo.
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Seasoning. There.
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That's lingo.
It's a super-cool restaurant word.
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- Seasoning.
- That's not cool.
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- But it can be spicy. [chuckles] Sorry.
- You're not gonna fool anyone.
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They'll know you're lying.
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They'll know you're a cop.
You're gonna be in danger.
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And when they have your funeral,
I'm gonna go and tell everyone
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that I tried to teach you
how to put salt on a patty.
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- But you never listened!
- Fine. I quit. [grunts]
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How do you untie this apron?
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- Aw. [tsks]
- [cell phone ringing]
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What is it? Oh, oh. Hi, Chief.
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Really? No, no, it's fine. I can do it.
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That was the chief.
The job interview got moved up.
185
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- It's today at 3:00 p.m.
- What?
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So, uh, what were you
saying about seasoning?
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I was saying sometimes it's spicy...
Oh, oh.
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You meant... Um, uh, okay.
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The interview's today?
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We were supposed to have
a week to teach you.
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I don't know, Bob.
Apparently the guy called
192
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,179
and said we could move up
the interview to today,
193
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:14,058
and my chief thinks if I say no,
he'll hire someone else. So I'm going.
194
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He moved the appointment to today?
What if you have plans?
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Yeah. Like learning how to cook a burger
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so you can go undercover
as a burger chef.
197
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The chief wants me to go, but, uh,
that still leaves us, um... 10 minutes.
198
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So, teach. Good, this time.
Are you looking at my hands?
199
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- Um...
- 'Cause parts of them might get
200
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,409
- chopped off or--
- The finger parts.
201
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,494
Is it better to spend this time
making fake fingers?
202
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,538
- Stop it. You're freaking me out.
- Okay, okay, uh...
203
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,457
Oh, God. So, um, all right.
204
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,293
There's not enough time
to make you not bad at cooking burgers.
205
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I think we need just
to teach you how to fake it,
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so you can get through this interview.
207
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:47,216
Then, if you actually get the job,
we can start trying to teach you again.
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- Bob, 10 minutes.
- [sighs] All right.
209
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I guess just act like the old-timers do.
210
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Those guys don't read any blogs.
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They don't even like cooking,
I don't think.
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So just say, "I just do it how I do it.
I don't know all the fancy words."
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I like that. "I don't know how to do it.
I just do it how they... how you do it."
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00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,317
- What? No.
- Close enough, though, right?
215
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,402
Feels right.
"I don't know all the words.
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00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:07,945
"I just do it how I do it."
217
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- Whoa. I just believed that.
-"I'm a burger guy."
218
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"I'm not trying to make
a big blog show."
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00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:15,786
- Ah, lost me. Wait. No. Still works.
- [all] Yeah.
220
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,788
[Linda] Bob, you okay?
221
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:21,083
You've been doing that
for not too alarming an amount of time.
222
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:24,253
Maybe he's finally getting serious
about wiping. I'm not there yet.
223
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,713
We haven't heard from Bosco,
224
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,465
and I'm very, very,
very nervous about it.
225
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Because of the "if he doesn't
seem like a real chef,
226
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"they'll know he's a cop and his fingers
might get chopped off" thing?
227
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,055
- Yes, Tina.
- Got it.
228
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,933
Ugh! This is the not-fun part
of undercover work.
229
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,727
Being with your even more
than usual stressed-out dad.
230
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,897
I should be at that thief's restaurant,
butterfly-knifing all over the place.
231
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:46,400
But instead, I'm here looking
for the pickle, which is right here.
232
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,611
- Damn.
- I'm sure Bosco is fine, Bob.
233
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,446
Not hearing from him
could be a good thing.
234
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,031
Maybe it's going great
235
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,575
and they've just been
shaking hands and nodding
236
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,285
- for the last 30 minutes.
- [phone rings]
237
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,996
- Hello.
- Whoa. That's an intense greeting, Bob.
238
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,249
Oh, hey, Teddy.
I thought you were someone else.
239
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,542
Sometimes I do too, Bob.
240
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,461
Anyway, I missed lunch 'cause the job
I'm on is taking forever.
241
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,129
But I'm gonna make it
for an early dinner.
242
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,923
I'm really craving a burger right now.
243
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:11,801
I'm getting the shakes,
which is not good because I'm on a roof.
244
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,219
- Uh-huh.
- I just wanted to make sure
245
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,388
- Mort wasn't in my seat.
- What?
246
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,598
I know it's weird.
I mean, I like the guy.
247
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:20,560
It just bugs me
if I'm not there and Mort's in my seat.
248
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,728
- He's got his own seat.
- Yeah, Mort's not here, Teddy.
249
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,606
- Did he tell you to say that?
- No, no. Teddy, I gotta go.
250
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,984
Will you just put something on the seat
so no one sits in it?
251
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,277
- Like a menu or a hat.
- Yep, yep.
252
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,446
Hi. Welcome to Bob's Burgers.
Let me get you a menu.
253
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,532
Actually, you know what?
I think I know what I'm getting.
254
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,992
I'll have the burger of the day.
255
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,786
- The Your Swiss Is On My List burger.
- You got it.
256
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:40,871
I've been meaning
to try this place for a while.
257
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,039
I'm hearing really good things.
258
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:45,585
Uh, Bob, you want to stop wiping
and, uh, go do a burger?
259
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,421
Huh? Oh. Sorry.
Uh, I'll get that started for you.
260
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,840
So, new burger
of the day every day, huh?
261
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,258
Oh. Uh, yeah.
262
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,218
He doesn't feel the same way
about underpants.
263
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,428
- Louise.
- It's unfortunate.
264
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,222
Well, it's good to challenge
people's expectations, right?
265
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:01,851
- About the burgers, not the underpants.
- Ha. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.
266
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,270
Ugh. There's nowhere else to look.
Where is it, Louise?
267
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,730
And don't say it's in your stomach
268
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,566
'cause you two made it very clear
we weren't allowed to eat it anymore.
269
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,693
Sorry about them.
They're playing Hide the Pickle.
270
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,196
It's a game where they hide a pickle
and then they find it.
271
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,990
He knows, Dad.
It's literally in the name.
272
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,783
I'm gonna use the bathroom real quick.
273
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,578
Or I can hold it if, uh, there's
a pickle in there that needs finding.
274
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,288
We've checked. There isn't.
275
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,414
[doorbells chime]
276
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,042
- Bob, we have to talk.
- Bosco, you're okay!
277
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,710
You're alive. Oh, thank God.
278
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,920
I didn't get you killed.
That's so great.
279
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,131
Now our dad can
stop doing his anxious butt clenches.
280
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,759
So, how'd the interview go?
Did you get the job?
281
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,594
You joining the burger-making nation?
282
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,431
Well, you may get a call
about someone who used to work here,
283
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:44,060
and I just need you to pretend you know
what they're talking about.
284
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,603
Is that Joe? What do you know!
285
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,812
- Vincent?
- Huh?
286
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:47,980
- Vincent?
- Whoa.
287
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,649
- What's going on?
- [chuckles]
288
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,777
Well, Vincent, I love that you're here.
289
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,737
This is so good.
290
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,280
Should I go get the wigs?
291
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:03,412
So, yeah. Bob, this is Vincent.
292
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:07,541
Vincent, this is Bob and Linda
and their children.
293
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:10,461
We're the children
that you saw before and also now.
294
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,587
- Hello again.
- Hi.
295
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:13,422
And I'm Joe, which we all know.
296
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,882
Okay. That's enough introducing.
297
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,009
So, Joe, you came by
to visit your old boss?
298
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,095
- Wait. What--
- Yep. Sure did.
299
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,888
Can't keep me away, can you, Bob?
300
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,431
Uh... Yeah.
301
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:25,351
Look at us.
My old boss and hopefully my new boss.
302
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,103
Don't you two fight over me now.
303
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,771
[all laughing awkwardly]
304
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,191
One burger of the day for, for you.
305
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,068
Thank you, Bob. Looks great.
306
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,319
Oh, hey, Bob. Uh...
307
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,988
Will you show me your, uh, spatula
308
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,740
- that you were talking about?
- What, what?
309
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,702
You know, you know,
the cool one that you got
310
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,079
that you really wanted to show me.
That one. Remember?
311
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:48,290
- Oh, oh, okay.
- I kind of want to see this spatula.
312
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:50,459
[Bob] Why is the jewel thief
in my restaurant?
313
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,128
It was going sort of bad.
314
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:55,339
I said that "I don't know how to do it,
I just do it" thing you said.
315
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:56,674
That's not what I said to say.
316
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,510
And then he was like, "The place
you used to work isn't around anymore.
317
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,928
"Did you work anywhere else?"
318
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:03,264
- So you said here?
- Yes. And he really liked that.
319
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,850
- He's heard of you.
- So, do you think he's on to us?
320
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,309
I'm not sure.
Maybe he just decided
321
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,478
he had to eat at Bob's Burgers
right away, right?
322
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,856
Or he thinks I'm a cop
and you're the guy who helped the cop,
323
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,233
and he's here to feel it out
and maybe kill both of us.
324
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,777
- Oh, my God.
- Just keep it together, Bob.
325
00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:18,028
We just got to keep it together.
326
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:20,197
Oh, like how you blurted out
the name of my restaurant
327
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:21,907
at your interview, Joe Josephs?
328
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,243
You see? This is why
I couldn't work here anymore.
329
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,703
You never supported me.
330
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:29,373
Great spatula, Bob.
So glad we went to go look at it.
331
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:32,168
I'm gonna seriously consider
getting that one for myself.
332
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:35,296
- Yeah, you should get one.
- Then you can flip each other off.
333
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,465
Gene. Uh, so, uh, how's the burger?
334
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,926
- It's amazing. You're an artist.
- Oh, uh, thank you.
335
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,346
That's how I taught Joe also, too,
336
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,265
to, to be that way.
337
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:50,227
Ha! Yeah.
I just do what you do, how you do it.
338
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,312
- Yup.
- Yup.
339
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,563
Uh, Tina, Gene, Louise,
340
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:55,441
how would you like to go
play your Hide the Pickle game upstairs?
341
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,194
- Doesn't that sound fun?
- The pickle is still hidden down here.
342
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,112
Uh-huh. Sure, uh,
but maybe you could just
343
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,531
use a different pickle
that's in the upstairs fridge?
344
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:03,616
Yeah. Yeah.
345
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,785
- Whoa.
- A different pickle?
346
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:06,994
Do you hear yourself right now?
347
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,162
Yeah. Seriously, Bob.
348
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:11,165
So, Joe, visiting
the old stomping grounds, huh?
349
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,083
Oh, yeah.
Visiting the place that I worked at.
350
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,628
And there was that
spatula question I had for Bob.
351
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,171
- You know, chef stuff.
- [Gene] Spat chat.
352
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,089
Oh, no.
353
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,716
- Hey, Teddy.
- Hey, Teddy.
354
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,092
[gasps] Teddy knows Bosco.
355
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,803
- He'll ruin everything.
- Oh, no.
356
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,765
Remember I told you guys
to put a menu or a hat on my stool?
357
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,849
Bob, what happened?
358
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:31,811
Putting a man there is not saving it.
Every other seat is empty.
359
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,437
What happened?
It's nothing against you, sir.
360
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,231
Nothing against...
You seem fine, but...
361
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,150
- One burger of the day, please, Bob.
- Uh, to go, though, right?
362
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:41,529
- Right. Wait. What?
- You're getting this to go.
363
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,866
You called earlier and you said you'd
swing by and pick up a burger to go.
364
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,619
I did? I don't remember doing that.
Oh, God. What else did I do?
365
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:52,581
I'll go make it right now. Linda,
maybe you, uh, should chat with Teddy.
366
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,459
He seems like he,
you know, wants to chat.
367
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,837
I love to chat with Teddy. Uh...
368
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,256
- Teddy, you got new pants?
- I don't know.
369
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,466
They're not new,
but there's something new.
370
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,885
- Turn this way.
- Oh, yeah, there's a swagger.
371
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,220
- I see it.
- There's a swagger?
372
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,306
Oh, almost done.
You know what? This one's on the house.
373
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,559
Since you, uh, since you're thinking
about hiring Joe here.
374
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,394
No, no, no, no. Please.
375
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,145
On the house? What? Hi.
376
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,856
- Hey. How you doing?
- Wait. Who's Joe?
377
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,983
- Hey, it's uh--
- [Bob] Burger's almost ready, Teddy!
378
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,568
- Not pants, shoes!
- What?
379
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,529
- New shoes. Isn't that it?
- Yeah, scuffed-up work boots.
380
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,781
You must have paid
a pretty penny for those.
381
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:28,325
Good scuffing.
Nothing worse than a bad scuff job.
382
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:29,785
[whistles] Must be nice.
383
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,621
So close. Just moments away, Teddy.
I know you're in a hurry.
384
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,248
- Funny vibe in here.
- Nope.
385
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,791
- Normal. Normal vibe.
- Yeah, I don't see it.
386
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:40,045
- Are you good? Uh, can I clear that?
- Almost there, Teddy!
387
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:41,171
It's, like, exciting,
388
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,507
- but you only have two customers.
- Three.
389
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:46,051
- He's not a customer, of course, Teddy.
- Huh?
390
00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:48,345
- Joe? Joe's not a customer.
- Done!
391
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:50,014
Mmm, uh, hot off the grill.
392
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:52,808
Here you go.
Get this home as fast as possible.
393
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,643
You want to eat it hot, right?
394
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,604
- It's a burger.
- I could eat it right here.
395
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,273
No, no, you have those plans.
It's fine. We get it.
396
00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,317
You know what?
This one's on the house too.
397
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,693
It is? This is free?
398
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,737
- We hate money.
- We're post-capitalists.
399
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:08,741
- See you soon, buddy.
- Okay. Uh, bye, everybody.
400
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:12,369
Well, glad you came by.
Nice to meet you.
401
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,705
Love this.
You all getting a chance to meet.
402
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,291
You know, I just...
This is kind of a golden opportunity.
403
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:20,669
- I feel like I can't pass it up.
- Oh, yeah? What's that?
404
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:24,131
I mean, we can kind of complete
the interview right now.
405
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,884
I've had Bob's amazing burger.
406
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:29,136
You're here.
I want to taste one of yours.
407
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,971
Oh, um...
408
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,181
Well, sure.
409
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,265
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
410
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,267
Use the special spatula.
411
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:41,982
Okay. Here I go, then.
Into the kitchen, where the grill is.
412
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,985
- You don't have to say that.
- All right, bye.
413
00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:50,199
Well, I'll just, uh, take this, um...
Oh, the cup
414
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:53,160
back into the kitchen
and, uh, and wash it.
415
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,288
Yeah, sure.
But no coaching. This is a tryout.
416
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,083
No way. I wouldn't...
Yeah, I get it.
417
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,835
[stammering]
You don't need to with Joe.
418
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,504
He's so good, Joe Josephs.
419
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:08,884
[whispering] Get the patty
out of the fridge
420
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,928
and season it with salt and pepper.
421
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,596
Right, right.
Where's the salt and pepper?
422
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:14,515
[Bob] Above the grill with the spices.
423
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:15,599
Salt is a spice?
424
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,643
Oh, my God.
We're gonna get murdered.
425
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:23,148
Oh! Uh, I gotta help Bob with that cup,
uh, in case he breaks it.
426
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,025
You know chefs. So clumsy.
427
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:27,820
[whispering] Bob, I got an idea.
The to-go burger.
428
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,863
But I gotta hurry so I don't miss Teddy.
429
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:30,948
What? Ahhh!
430
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,451
I mean, ah, that's such
a good amount of salt to use.
431
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,787
Teddy, I need you to come back
with your to-go bag.
432
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,664
- [Teddy] What?
- I know it sounds weird.
433
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,416
But come back as fast as you can
434
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,876
and bring the burger
and meet me in the back alley. Okay?
435
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,795
It's, um...
We want to make you a different burger.
436
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,381
Can I eat this one and then you can
also make me another one?
437
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:50,134
[Linda] No, Teddy.
That one's... It's no good.
438
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,470
It fell on the floor and then a fly
sat on it and a cockroach.
439
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,723
- It's not a deal breaker.
- [Linda] Teddy, just come!
440
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,684
I forgot to ask you how
you'd like that cooked.
441
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,021
- Medium, please. Thank you.
- Medium. Got it.
442
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,273
Just medium?
Like, right up the middle?
443
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,233
- Right up the middle.
- Middle medium.
444
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:08,277
One Malcolm in the Middle coming up.
445
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,154
Just gonna flip this bad boy.
446
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,159
- [Bosco] Oops.
- Whoa.
447
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,243
- Oh.
- Oh.
448
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,828
- Oh.
- Well, I just do it
449
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,872
how you would do it, you know?
450
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,167
Oh, thank God.
Give me the burger, Teddy.
451
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,376
Thank you so much.
452
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,128
- I just... I just need--
- [groaning]
453
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,339
Teddy, let it go.
We're gonna make you a special burger.
454
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,217
- So much better than this one.
- When? Can I have it now?
455
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,178
Thirty minutes.
Buy a newspaper or something.
456
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,555
A newspaper? What is this? 1986?
457
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,349
What, am I gonna see
how Dukakis is doing in the polls?
458
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:42,311
- Teddy, trust me. Go.
- [groans] Fine.
459
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,646
[whispering] Bob, Teddy's burger.
460
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:46,774
It's untouched. Mostly. Bag's warm.
461
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,942
- Ah! You're a genius.
- Oh, I know.
462
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,862
Just gonna put the patty on the bun.
Oops. Oops. Oops.
463
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,615
Line it up a little better there.
The cheese is melted, right?
464
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,700
Yeah, yeah, it is. It's totally melted.
465
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,036
Okay. Go ahead and sit down.
466
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,330
It's taste test time.
The best kind of test.
467
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,498
[whispering] What are you doing?
468
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,500
I'm switching it out
so he eats my burger.
469
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,460
Wait. What?
But I think I did pretty good.
470
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,796
And I just...
I worked so hard for this.
471
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,422
Are you kidding me?
472
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:14,384
Okay. Here's the burger.
473
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,720
- Enjoy.
- Oh, looks good.
474
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,639
Yeah, it does. Nice one, Uncle Joe.
475
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,891
All right, all right, all right.
Don't make a big deal.
476
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,936
- He's modest. And grumpy.
- Uncle Mumpy.
477
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,075
- It's delicious.
- [all exhale]
478
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,576
Oh, good.
479
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,412
Oh, I mean, oh, food is, uh, good.
480
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,540
Oh, my God. I got to say, Joe,
481
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,209
I kind of thought you were,
like, not a chef at all.
482
00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:50,504
- [all laugh]
- What's that? This guy? Such a chef.
483
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:54,925
But, uh, I feel like maybe, you know,
your style is just unconventional
484
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,052
because you had such
an unconventional teacher.
485
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:59,805
I mean, the way you cook,
honestly, it makes no sense,
486
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,349
and frankly, it defies
everything I know about food.
487
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,560
But maybe that's just
'cause I have more to learn.
488
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,438
Thanks, I guess. Glad you liked it.
So do I get the job or what?
489
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,899
Joe, I think I found my new chef.
490
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,317
- Great.
- All right.
491
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:15,028
Well, I better get going.
I'll give you a call tomorrow.
492
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:18,115
Bob, Linda, kids,
it's been a true pleasure.
493
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,199
Who's your favorite?
494
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,285
- Uh, I like the Teddy guy.
- Damn it.
495
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,245
I hope I can feed you all
at my place sometime.
496
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,998
- Ooh, what do you serve?
- Um, burgers?
497
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,624
Oh, I was hoping it was kebabs.
498
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,209
- You're my least favorite.
- [Gene groans]
499
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,044
[cell phone ringing]
500
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,129
What is it?
501
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,132
Oh, my God. This is a nightmare.
It's never gonna end.
502
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,884
We have to actually teach him
how to cook,
503
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,635
or he's gonna blow it on his first day.
504
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,053
Which is what? Tomorrow?
505
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:42,514
Oh, Bob, we'll figure it out.
We got this far.
506
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,641
We could be undercover cops.
507
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,435
- You could.
- I'm missing something.
508
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:50,147
Louise, we won, but we lost
'cause Bosco's really got to cook now.
509
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:52,065
We switched the burgers.
That one was mine.
510
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,651
I don't have to cook.
It's over. Investigation's over.
511
00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:55,736
[all] What?
512
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,821
That was the chief.
Vincent's not our guy.
513
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,490
They got a match on partial fingerprints
we found at the scene.
514
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:01,742
Someone else on file.
515
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,785
So they're arresting
that guy for the heist.
516
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,078
So you can turn down the job?
517
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,706
Yep. I'll tell him
I broke my arm tonight
518
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:08,790
doing something really cool.
519
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,084
- Is rollerblading cool?
- Visor or no visor?
520
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,337
I honestly don't think
I could have cut it anyway.
521
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,214
You have a really stressful job.
522
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,217
I mean, I've been shot at, stabbed,
planted a ton of drugs,
523
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,552
but I think I'd rather
do my job than yours.
524
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,554
- Oh. Thanks?
- Wait a minute.
525
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,973
Fingerprints from another criminal
were at the scene?
526
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,893
Fingerprints?
From another criminal's fingers?
527
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,646
- Don't you guys get it?
- Is it something about fingerprints?
528
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:34,566
He used someone else's cut-off finger
to put their fingerprints at the scene.
529
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,486
- Nah.
- Yeah. Vincent wouldn't do that.
530
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,112
He called me an artist.
531
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:41,657
I'm right. I solved this case.
You guys are dumb.
532
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,868
You couldn't even find the pickle,
and I hid it right under your faces.
533
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,037
Right here. Wait. Where is it?
534
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:48,997
Still got it.
535
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,540
[all yelp]
536
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,669
I couldn't wait, Linda.
I just want a burger.
537
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,462
Burger!
538
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,215
[♪ mysterious music playing]