1
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,901
{\an8}Got to be some in there.

2
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,199
{\an8}Nope, that's just water.

3
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:38,246
{\an8}Hmm. <i>"Une bouteille de shampooing."</i>

4
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,832
{\an8}Smells like... lilies?

5
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,625
{\an8}Also, happiness?

6
00:00:44,626 --> 00:00:46,753
{\an8}Eyebrows and mustache, get in on this.

7
00:00:46,754 --> 00:00:48,004
{\an8}- Morning, kids.
- Hello.

8
00:00:48,005 --> 00:00:49,505
{\an8}- Morning.
- Whoa.

9
00:00:49,506 --> 00:00:51,382
{\an8}- You look really nice today, Dad.
- I do?

10
00:00:51,383 --> 00:00:53,593
{\an8}Yeah. I mean, not your clothes.
No offense.

11
00:00:53,594 --> 00:00:56,471
{\an8}I think it's your... hair, maybe?
It looks good.

12
00:00:56,472 --> 00:00:58,139
{\an8}- You wearing a wig?
- No, Louise.

13
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:01,350
{\an8}You do look really great today, Bob.
Your hair's got a lot of body.

14
00:01:01,351 --> 00:01:03,061
{\an8}And your body has a lot of hair.

15
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,521
{\an8}I used that stuff
that was on top of the toilet.

16
00:01:05,522 --> 00:01:07,356
{\an8}- Pee-pee?
- Oh, no! The fancy stuff?

17
00:01:07,357 --> 00:01:10,193
{\an8}I was gonna use that.
You didn't use it all, did you?

18
00:01:10,194 --> 00:01:11,944
{\an8}- Um...
- Aw, nuts.

19
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:14,363
{\an8}I found it yesterday
and I wanted to try it.

20
00:01:14,364 --> 00:01:17,283
{\an8}- Wait, you found it? W-where?
- Out at the dumpster.

21
00:01:17,284 --> 00:01:18,868
{\an8}That's my special lady.

22
00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:21,079
{\an8}- You got shampoo from a dumpster?
- Yeah!

23
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,165
{\an8}What, um... else around here
do you get from dumpsters?

24
00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:26,417
{\an8}- Not food, right?
- Don't you worry about it.

25
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:29,796
{\an8}Mm. I like dumpster eggs.
You can taste the danger.

26
00:01:29,797 --> 00:01:33,508
{\an8}<i>So, if you find any of
the chess club's missing chess pieces,</i>

27
00:01:33,509 --> 00:01:35,927
{\an8}<i>check with us, mate. Check mate.</i>

28
00:01:35,928 --> 00:01:39,639
{\an8}<i>I was being Australian because of
the way they say "mate" all the time--</i>

29
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,642
<i>You guys don't care. Okay, uh...
and one more announcement.</i>

30
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,811
<i>This afternoon's
lunch recess is canceled.</i>

31
00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:45,937
What?

32
00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:49,107
{\an8}<i>No students will be
permitted outside after lunch,</i>

33
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:51,275
{\an8}<i>and must either go directly to the gym,</i>

34
00:01:51,276 --> 00:01:53,861
{\an8}<i>or, if you're more of a reader
than a do-er,</i>

35
00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:55,822
{\an8}<i>-you may go to the library.</i>
- Mm.

36
00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:58,407
{\an8}<i>And any students
found outside after lunch</i>

37
00:01:58,408 --> 00:02:00,785
{\an8}<i>-are gonna get in so much trouble...</i>

38
00:02:00,786 --> 00:02:02,995
{\an8}<i>...their grandchildren
will have detention.</i>

39
00:02:02,996 --> 00:02:04,080
<i>Yes, we can do that.</i>

40
00:02:04,081 --> 00:02:05,414
<i>Okay, have a great day!</i>

41
00:02:05,415 --> 00:02:07,667
No recess? Is that even legal?

42
00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:10,253
LaBonz, get me on the horn
with the superintendent.

43
00:02:10,254 --> 00:02:11,673
- No.
- Dang it!

44
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,924
- It is shiny. And bouncy.
- Uh-huh.

45
00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:17,260
Yeah, less matted down
with grease than usual.

46
00:02:17,261 --> 00:02:18,344
Thank you.

47
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:19,679
Well, I better get going.

48
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,057
T-minus 45 minutes
until funeral blastoff.

49
00:02:23,058 --> 00:02:25,768
That-that's not a technical term.
Just making it fun.

50
00:02:25,769 --> 00:02:27,770
- I'm allowed to have fun sometimes.
- Right.

51
00:02:27,771 --> 00:02:29,647
- No, of course.
- Bye!

52
00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:32,191
I like Mort, but he always
makes me uncomfortable.

53
00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:33,901
Anyway, I got to get going, too.

54
00:02:33,902 --> 00:02:35,653
Want to get to my job early
so I can finish

55
00:02:35,654 --> 00:02:37,446
in time to pick up Kathleen
this afternoon.

56
00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:40,158
Oh, right. Her colonoscopy's today.

57
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,870
Aw, Teddy, it's so nice she asked you
to be the person that picks her up.

58
00:02:43,871 --> 00:02:46,164
- Right?
- That's a big step in a relationship.

59
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,416
Scooping her up
after she gets her pooper checked.

60
00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:50,168
I know, and I do not want to blow it.

61
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,587
I want everything to go smoothly.
I cleaned my truck.

62
00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:54,755
I added some cushy pillows
to the passenger seat.

63
00:02:54,756 --> 00:02:56,382
I got all of Kathleen's favorite snacks

64
00:02:56,383 --> 00:02:58,176
she wasn't allowed to eat
for the last few days:

65
00:02:58,177 --> 00:02:59,886
Nuts, sunflower seeds...

66
00:02:59,887 --> 00:03:01,387
Oh, yum... sort of.

67
00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:02,805
And I made her a playlist:

68
00:03:02,806 --> 00:03:05,099
"The Long and Windy Road,"
"Brown Eyed Girl."

69
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,225
- Aw.
- Hmm.

70
00:03:06,226 --> 00:03:07,810
I just want to make her
feel comfortable.

71
00:03:07,811 --> 00:03:10,980
You know, Kathleen could have asked
her cousin, who lives in town, to do it.

72
00:03:10,981 --> 00:03:12,523
But she didn't, she asked me.

73
00:03:12,524 --> 00:03:15,151
Take that, Cousin Muriel!
I win, you lose!

74
00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:17,322
I've met her, by the way.
She's very nice.

75
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,824
What the hell is going on, no recess?
Even in prison you get recess.

76
00:03:21,825 --> 00:03:24,368
Bunch of hardened criminals
playing Foursquare.

77
00:03:24,369 --> 00:03:25,995
How are we gonna find out
what's going on?

78
00:03:25,996 --> 00:03:27,705
I mean, do we bug their phones, or...

79
00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:29,457
It had to be during recess.

80
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:32,501
- It was the only time they could do it.
- Okay, eavesdropping works, too.

81
00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:34,587
- Only time who could do it?
- The drone operator.

82
00:03:34,588 --> 00:03:36,672
He wants us to say "pilot,"
but I'm not saying that.

83
00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:37,757
Good for you.

84
00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:38,966
Principal Spoors says,

85
00:03:38,967 --> 00:03:40,968
"If your school website
doesn't have a drone shot,

86
00:03:40,969 --> 00:03:42,637
"you might as well
not have a school at all."

87
00:03:42,638 --> 00:03:45,014
A drone's flying over the school
to shoot video?

88
00:03:45,015 --> 00:03:46,432
Is our school <i>Top Gun?</i>

89
00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:49,227
And, apparently, it's so expensive
we'll only get one shot at it,

90
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:51,270
so that's why we have
to keep the kids inside.

91
00:03:51,271 --> 00:03:54,357
Principal Spoors thinks they'll try to
ruin the video when they see the drone.

92
00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:56,150
That is 100% true.

93
00:03:56,151 --> 00:03:57,985
Not ruin, improve.

94
00:03:57,986 --> 00:03:59,737
And if Spoors
doesn't get his drone shot,

95
00:03:59,738 --> 00:04:01,072
I don't get my two days off

96
00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:03,241
to take my mother to Massapequa
to see her sister.

97
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:05,117
- Ooh, road trip.
- Mm-hmm.

98
00:04:05,118 --> 00:04:06,869
Louise, the bell rang.

99
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:07,954
Oh. I guess it did.

100
00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:09,830
Boy, it was a bit subtle,
don't you think?

101
00:04:09,831 --> 00:04:11,958
It was a bell. So, no.

102
00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:16,003
LaBonz, you are a hoot.
Okay, bye now!

103
00:04:16,004 --> 00:04:17,672
Meet back here
after next period.

104
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:19,674
We'll talk strategy.
And we need to tell Tina.

105
00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:22,345
I'll call her assistant
and get it on her schedule.

106
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,348
Bob's Burgers.
Puttin' yum in your yappers.

107
00:04:27,349 --> 00:04:29,058
- <i>Linda!</i>
- Oh, hey, Teddy.

108
00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:30,351
You pick up Kathleen?

109
00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:32,478
<i>No. That's actually why I'm calling.</i>

110
00:04:32,479 --> 00:04:33,604
Oh, what's wrong?

111
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:35,523
<i>Uh... I'm kind of in the emergency room.</i>

112
00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:37,733
- What?
<i>- I'm worried I'm not gonna make it--</i>

113
00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:39,944
Teddy? Teddy!

114
00:04:39,945 --> 00:04:41,362
<i>Sorry, it was my phone.</i>

115
00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:42,488
My face hit the button.

116
00:04:42,489 --> 00:04:45,324
Anyway, I'm worried I'm not gonna
make it to pick up Kathleen.

117
00:04:45,325 --> 00:04:48,620
I need your help.
But, uh, I'm fine, I'm fine.

118
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,958
I'm in a lot of pain, though.

119
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,627
You're in the emergency room?

120
00:04:56,628 --> 00:04:58,421
W-What happened?
You sound kind of funny.

121
00:04:58,422 --> 00:05:01,674
Well, I-I got an ice pack on my face
'cause I bit my lip.

122
00:05:01,675 --> 00:05:03,634
You went to the ER
'cause you bit your lip?

123
00:05:03,635 --> 00:05:06,762
- Not exactly. It started with the bee.
- The bee?

124
00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,597
<i>Yeah, it landed in my goggles.</i>

125
00:05:08,598 --> 00:05:10,266
<i>And then I put them on.</i>

126
00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:11,976
<i>It stung me on my eyelid.</i>

127
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:14,730
<i>Then I kind of shot myself
in the foot with the nail gun.</i>

128
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,524
And, yeah, that's how I bit my lip.

129
00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:19,859
- Oh, no!
- What?

130
00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:22,069
Beesting on the eye,
then nail in the foot.

131
00:05:22,070 --> 00:05:23,863
- Ooh.
- Aw, Bob says, "Ooh."

132
00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:25,197
Aw, you poor thing.

133
00:05:25,198 --> 00:05:28,534
But I'm calling because Kathleen is
gonna be done with her colonoscopy soon

134
00:05:28,535 --> 00:05:31,662
and I can't drive 'cause
my gas pedal foot has a nail hole in it

135
00:05:31,663 --> 00:05:34,290
and I can't see
'cause my eye is swollen shut.

136
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:37,543
Okay, okay.
So you want me to go pick up Kathleen?

137
00:05:37,544 --> 00:05:40,880
No, Linda! It's got to be me!
I got to be the one to pick her up.

138
00:05:40,881 --> 00:05:42,298
Okay, well, what do you want me to do?

139
00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:44,842
Can you come pick me up?
And then take me to get Kathleen?

140
00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,470
Hold on. Hey, Bob?
Are you okay on your own for a bit?

141
00:05:47,471 --> 00:05:51,349
Sure. You go help Teddy and Kathleen.
My hair and I have got this.

142
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:52,850
Yeah, I could use a break from the hair.

143
00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:54,894
Teddy, Bob's hair
is turning him into a monster.

144
00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:55,978
A gorgeous monster.

145
00:05:55,979 --> 00:05:58,147
I'm on my way.
Don't hurt yourself anymore!

146
00:05:58,148 --> 00:06:01,734
Stay away from elevator shafts
and sit on your hands until I get there.

147
00:06:01,735 --> 00:06:03,986
Okay, everyone, thank you for coming.

148
00:06:03,987 --> 00:06:05,404
When this drone goes over,

149
00:06:05,405 --> 00:06:08,699
I'm thinking resistance movement
meets covert op meets art piece.

150
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:11,202
That's what I tell the barber
when I go in for a haircut.

151
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:12,995
Hey, Tina.
What are you guys talking about?

152
00:06:12,996 --> 00:06:16,415
You guys look more guilty than my Nana
sneaking pepperonis at a Papa John's.

153
00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:17,708
We found out why

154
00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:19,377
we're not allowed outside during recess.

155
00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:21,212
They're gonna shoot
a drone video of the school.

156
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:23,631
Oh! That's why
they won't let us outside?

157
00:06:23,632 --> 00:06:24,840
A secret drone shot?

158
00:06:24,841 --> 00:06:27,051
They're worried we're gonna
moon the drone or something?

159
00:06:27,052 --> 00:06:29,595
Yeah, so we're gonna do that.
Or something better. You in?

160
00:06:29,596 --> 00:06:31,472
- Hecks yeah.
- Let's do a dance.

161
00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:33,516
It's an overhead drone shot.

162
00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:36,394
Those were invented for filming dance.
And for war.

163
00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:38,813
You guys doing a dance
for a secret drone shot?

164
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:40,481
Guys, I'm not sure about the dancing.

165
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:42,358
What? Why? It's dancing.

166
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:44,193
Adults will notice dancing.

167
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:46,070
We have to be unseen by the naked eye

168
00:06:46,071 --> 00:06:48,239
so they'll actually use it
on the website.

169
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,407
Who's got naked eyes?

170
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,992
I guess glasses
are like pants for your face.

171
00:06:51,993 --> 00:06:53,244
- Oh!
- Shh.

172
00:06:53,245 --> 00:06:55,413
People. People.
I've got this figured out.

173
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:56,622
We sneak out of lunch,

174
00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:59,041
go to the storage area
with all the school play props,

175
00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:01,252
we grab the bushes and the fog machine

176
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:03,421
that they used in that play,
<i>Bushes and Fog.</i>

177
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:04,880
Wasn't our best play.

178
00:07:04,881 --> 00:07:08,259
And we're gonna use the bushes to form
the school's "butt," if you will,

179
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:10,052
and we're gonna use the fog machine

180
00:07:10,053 --> 00:07:11,971
to make it look like
the school's butt is farting.

181
00:07:11,972 --> 00:07:13,764
But to the unsophisticated adults,

182
00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:17,560
it'll just look like some shrubbery
and a bit of, uh, low-hanging cloud.

183
00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:20,563
The school farting?
It's elegant, provocative.

184
00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:24,316
But this could be the one chance
we ever have to do a dance for a drone.

185
00:07:24,317 --> 00:07:26,777
I'm with J-Ju.
I say we dance, and just be like,

186
00:07:26,778 --> 00:07:29,405
we're here in this moment, truly alive.

187
00:07:29,406 --> 00:07:32,116
Guys, if we don't make the website
and cement our legacy,

188
00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:33,451
what's the point of any of this?

189
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:37,204
Don't you want to be remembered as
incognito, school-flatulating legends?

190
00:07:37,205 --> 00:07:38,622
You had me at flatulating.

191
00:07:38,623 --> 00:07:42,626
I guess I could get into being a legend.
Move over, John L... Legend.

192
00:07:42,627 --> 00:07:43,711
- Okay.
- I'm in.

193
00:07:43,712 --> 00:07:44,795
Let's do it.

194
00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,380
We'll meet in the cafeteria
at lunch. Go!

195
00:07:46,381 --> 00:07:49,216
And think of a cool codename
for yourself to add to the mystique.

196
00:07:49,217 --> 00:07:50,634
Mine's Treat Williams--

197
00:07:50,635 --> 00:07:53,139
No, no, no, no. Admiral Lasagna.

198
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,265
- Linda!
- Teddy! Ooh.

199
00:07:56,266 --> 00:07:58,100
- Does it look bad?
- No.

200
00:07:58,101 --> 00:07:59,852
No... No!

201
00:07:59,853 --> 00:08:01,520
Sorry, it's a little messy.

202
00:08:01,521 --> 00:08:02,897
Is that a bag of salt?

203
00:08:02,898 --> 00:08:04,523
Oh, yeah, that's where the salt went.

204
00:08:04,524 --> 00:08:07,776
Could we maybe...
stop by the job site

205
00:08:07,777 --> 00:08:09,487
and get my truck to pick up Kathleen?

206
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,864
Wait, wha?
Aren't you worried about being late?

207
00:08:11,865 --> 00:08:12,950
It's on our way!

208
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,784
And, you know, I cleaned it
and it has the pillows and snacks

209
00:08:15,785 --> 00:08:18,329
and the, "Yay,
you got your colonoscopy!" mixtape.

210
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,705
And, uh, no ants.

211
00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:21,167
Yeah, okay. Okay.

212
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,252
Hi. Welcome to Bob's Burgers.

213
00:08:25,253 --> 00:08:26,378
- Hi.
- Hi. Hello.

214
00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:28,255
Have a seat. I'll get you some menus.

215
00:08:28,256 --> 00:08:29,550
- Thanks.
- Thank you.

216
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,306
<i>Hmm. Are they whispering about me?</i>

217
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,558
<i>Mm, yep.</i>

218
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:42,937
- Is everything... okay?
- Yes. Thank you.

219
00:08:42,938 --> 00:08:45,107
All right. Take your time.

220
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,534
<i>Hmm, no-no boogers.</i>

221
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,703
<i>Mustache is relatively clean.</i>

222
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,749
<i>Usual armpit smell.</i>

223
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,542
<i>Hm.</i>

224
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,002
Thank you.
I got an update from the clinic.

225
00:09:07,003 --> 00:09:09,171
Kathleen is in the recovery room.
Recovering.

226
00:09:09,172 --> 00:09:11,090
Already? Oh, boy. Okay.

227
00:09:11,091 --> 00:09:12,508
Gonna go a little faster.

228
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:14,593
Yeah, but not over
the speed limit, right?

229
00:09:14,594 --> 00:09:16,929
No. Just maybe... ten over,

230
00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:19,098
12 over, 15 over.

231
00:09:19,099 --> 00:09:22,643
Teddy, 15 miles over the speed limit
is still technically the speed limit.

232
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,270
They factor in for that sort of thing.

233
00:09:24,271 --> 00:09:26,522
And... there's a siren.

234
00:09:26,523 --> 00:09:28,899
- That's bad.
- Oh! Are we getting pulled over?

235
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,734
Do we gun it?
Should I gun it? Should we go?

236
00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:31,819
Linda, no!

237
00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,239
Right, right.

238
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:38,826
Okay, one at a time, we should slip out
and meet in the storage room.

239
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:41,245
Ugh! What if we started turning
like a human pinwheel?

240
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:43,289
That would look so cool from up above.

241
00:09:43,290 --> 00:09:44,915
Love it. Busby Berkeley?

242
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:48,752
More like Busby You-Gotta-Be-Berserk-ly
not to be inspired by that idea.

243
00:09:48,753 --> 00:09:50,212
Human pinwheel does sound fun.

244
00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:52,131
I've always wanted to be
part of a human something.

245
00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:53,674
- No, no, no.
- Not that we're doing dancing,

246
00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:55,634
but if we were, what would the song be?

247
00:09:55,635 --> 00:09:57,094
"I Think We're A Drone Now"?

248
00:09:57,095 --> 00:09:59,680
No, Gene! Finish food. Do plan.

249
00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:02,433
Ah! I will finish my food,
thank you very much.

250
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,435
And whoever else's food needs finishing.

251
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:06,772
- Fine.
- You're welcome!

252
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,398
- Uh...
- Oh, boy.

253
00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:11,817
Oh, God.
Oh, God, we're gonna be late!

254
00:10:11,818 --> 00:10:14,069
- You know how fast you were--
- Sorry I was speeding, Officer.

255
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:17,323
I've never driven this truck before.
But not because I stole it.

256
00:10:17,324 --> 00:10:20,534
It's his truck. He just can't drive it.
Right now. 'Cause he's all messed up.

257
00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:21,994
- I mean, look at him.
- Hi.

258
00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:24,288
Uh-huh.
License and registration, please.

259
00:10:24,289 --> 00:10:25,581
Okay.

260
00:10:25,582 --> 00:10:28,334
Uh, officer, we're late to pick up
Teddy's special friend.

261
00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:29,460
Uh, this is Teddy.

262
00:10:29,461 --> 00:10:32,129
She asked him to be the one
to pick her up from her colonoscopy

263
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,797
- and it's kind of a big deal.
- Wait.

264
00:10:33,798 --> 00:10:36,133
You're picking someone up
from a colonoscopy?

265
00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,509
- Yes.
- It's the thing when

266
00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:39,720
- they put the camera up your--
- Oh, I know what it is.

267
00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:43,599
A colonoscopy saved my nana's life.
And I was the one who picked her up.

268
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,017
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.

269
00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:47,019
Yeah. She's my best friend.

270
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:48,729
- Wow, that's nice.
- Great. That's great.

271
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:50,648
You know what?
I'm gonna give you an escort.

272
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:53,525
- An escort? A police escort?
- Seriously?

273
00:10:53,526 --> 00:10:56,695
You're doing a good thing. And giving
escorts is my favorite part of the job.

274
00:10:56,696 --> 00:10:57,946
It's kind of why I became a cop.

275
00:10:57,947 --> 00:10:59,657
Where's your friend
getting her colonoscopy?

276
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:03,077
- The Main Street Medical Center.
- Well, all right. Let the escort begin!

277
00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:05,162
- Thank you, Officer!
- Yeah, thank you!

278
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:07,539
I always wanted one of these.
A nice male escort.

279
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,042
Wow.

280
00:11:10,043 --> 00:11:12,044
Uh, I think we're actually
gonna make it on time.

281
00:11:12,045 --> 00:11:13,712
You bet we are--

282
00:11:13,713 --> 00:11:15,673
- Oh, my God.
- No, no, no...

283
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,258
- You hit me!
- I'm sorry. Why did you stop?

284
00:11:18,259 --> 00:11:21,220
There was a car in front of me.
We're not supposed to smash into those!

285
00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:23,055
Okay, that's a good reason.

286
00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:24,473
Oh, no. It's the cops.

287
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:26,100
Don't tell him
I was giving you an escort.

288
00:11:26,101 --> 00:11:27,184
- What?
- Don't tell.

289
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:29,396
I'll get in so much trouble. Shh.

290
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,985
- Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- Just lie for me.

291
00:11:36,986 --> 00:11:39,279
- What? Lie to a cop?
- It's fine, it's fine.

292
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,447
People do it all the time.

293
00:11:40,448 --> 00:11:43,992
Just tell him you rear-ended me,
but don't say anything about the escort.

294
00:11:43,993 --> 00:11:45,994
- Eh...
- Everything okay, Earl?

295
00:11:45,995 --> 00:11:48,747
Yeah, yeah. Uh, this, uh,
person that I've never met

296
00:11:48,748 --> 00:11:51,166
until this very moment
just rear-ended me.

297
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:53,877
Uh, that's right,
I just plowed right into him...

298
00:11:53,878 --> 00:11:55,295
into the police car.

299
00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:57,756
Hmm. And where were you
headed so fast, ma'am?

300
00:11:57,757 --> 00:12:00,217
Oh, I was, uh...

301
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:02,970
I was going to go... have an affair.
With that guy.

302
00:12:02,971 --> 00:12:05,472
Yeah. So, I was in a hurry
to cheat on my husband.

303
00:12:05,473 --> 00:12:06,557
What?

304
00:12:06,558 --> 00:12:07,808
Well, I for one believe that.

305
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,518
- Are you all right, sir?
- I've been better.

306
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:10,811
He got stung by a bee,

307
00:12:10,812 --> 00:12:13,147
and he drove a nail into his foot,
and he bit his lip.

308
00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:15,858
- But, uh, that's how I like 'em.
- This is all my fault!

309
00:12:15,859 --> 00:12:19,111
It's my friend, she asked me
to pick her up after her colonoscopy.

310
00:12:19,112 --> 00:12:21,238
- A colonoscopy, huh?
- Oh, God.

311
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:23,115
- Earl?
- Uh...

312
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:24,825
Where's the dang fog machine?

313
00:12:24,826 --> 00:12:26,577
I haven't the foggiest. Sorry.

314
00:12:26,578 --> 00:12:29,329
Louise, maybe the bush butt
doesn't need to fart?

315
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:32,458
Listen to yourself, Tina,
of course the bush butt needs to fart.

316
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,126
- What are you doing?
- Choreography.

317
00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:36,336
Just in case we decide
to bust out some moves.

318
00:12:36,337 --> 00:12:38,714
- No!
- We might not be able to help ourselves.

319
00:12:38,715 --> 00:12:40,799
All right! We're dancing!

320
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,342
- Zeke, ow! Ow, Zeke!
- I'm dancing!

321
00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:44,555
- Too much, too much!
- Ugh.

322
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,973
Here you go.
Uh, anyone need anything else?

323
00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:50,184
- More coffee?
- Uh, we're good. Thanks.

324
00:12:50,185 --> 00:12:52,603
We just came
from our mom's funeral next door.

325
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:55,439
Oh. Uh, I'm-I'm so sorry for your loss.

326
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,275
Thank you. Uh... the thing is...

327
00:12:58,276 --> 00:12:59,485
Yeah?

328
00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:01,028
- You smell like our dead mom.
- Oh.

329
00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:03,698
Sorry. I know
that must sound very strange.

330
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,161
He says
you <i>really</i> smell like our mom.

331
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,916
He, uh,
he was wondering if you know why?

332
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,876
I, uh, uh, great question.

333
00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:18,253
Uh, do you mind
if I call my wife real quick?

334
00:13:18,254 --> 00:13:19,338
- Please.
- Of course.

335
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:20,422
I'll be right back.

336
00:13:20,423 --> 00:13:22,090
Sorry about all this.

337
00:13:22,091 --> 00:13:23,550
The paperwork alone...

338
00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:24,927
Hello? Hi, Bob.

339
00:13:24,928 --> 00:13:28,388
Lin, hi. D-Do you know why I might smell
like an old, dead woman?

340
00:13:28,389 --> 00:13:30,516
What? You just have to floss, Bob.
I told you--

341
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:33,101
No. A family came in
after a funeral for their mom,

342
00:13:33,102 --> 00:13:35,938
and the dad thinks
I smell like his late wife.

343
00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:37,022
Oh.

344
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:38,190
- Linda?
- Yeah?

345
00:13:38,191 --> 00:13:40,776
The dumpster you got the shampoo from,
tell me the truth, Lin.

346
00:13:40,777 --> 00:13:42,027
Was it Mort's dumpster?

347
00:13:42,028 --> 00:13:44,780
Did I wash my hair
with a dead woman's shampoo?

348
00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:47,616
Yeah... Sorry.
Sometimes families give Mort stuff

349
00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:49,201
so he can make their loved ones look

350
00:13:49,202 --> 00:13:51,245
as close to how they looked
when they were alive,

351
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:54,039
and he puts all the stuff
he doesn't use out by the dumpsters

352
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,124
and sometimes, if it's nice,
I, you know, I grab it.

353
00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:57,626
- Oh, my God.
- Bob, I got to go.

354
00:13:57,627 --> 00:13:59,211
We're running super late
'cause of the cops.

355
00:13:59,212 --> 00:14:01,505
- Cops? Why are there cops?
- It's fine, it's fine.

356
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:03,966
- Goodbye.
- Uh, well, that's it.

357
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:07,344
I called Muriel, the cousin.
She's gonna pick up Kathleen.

358
00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:11,473
Oh, Teddy, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry we got pulled over.

359
00:14:11,474 --> 00:14:14,685
But we really tried.
Kathleen will understand.

360
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:16,562
It's not that. I know she will.

361
00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:19,940
It's just, I guess all of this
meant a lot to... me.

362
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:21,316
To be able to do this for her.

363
00:14:21,317 --> 00:14:23,861
It's good for the heart,
to do nice stuff.

364
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:28,198
And I felt lucky
to have the chance to do it. I just...

365
00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:29,950
I care about her a lot.

366
00:14:29,951 --> 00:14:32,411
Aw, Teddy, you're so sweet.

367
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:33,954
Okay, we're gonna figure this out.

368
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:36,164
You call off the cousin,
I'll deal with the fuzz.

369
00:14:36,165 --> 00:14:37,749
- It's just the theater of it--
- Officers?

370
00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:40,168
I'm really sorry about the fender bender
and the speeding.

371
00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:42,004
- The what?
- I mean, the fender bender.

372
00:14:42,005 --> 00:14:44,131
But my friend Teddy
promised his lady friend

373
00:14:44,132 --> 00:14:46,133
that he'd pick her up
after her colonoscopy,

374
00:14:46,134 --> 00:14:47,551
and that's a sacred trust.

375
00:14:47,552 --> 00:14:49,344
And it's not just about the importance

376
00:14:49,345 --> 00:14:51,471
of sticking a camera up your butt
every few years,

377
00:14:51,472 --> 00:14:52,556
this is about love.

378
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:53,682
This is about kindness.

379
00:14:53,683 --> 00:14:55,893
This is about looking
deep inside ourselves

380
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:58,145
and seeing something special in there.

381
00:14:58,146 --> 00:14:59,688
And yeah, maybe some colon polyps.

382
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,523
And if we don't get there
in the next few minutes,

383
00:15:01,524 --> 00:15:03,609
Kathleen's cousin Muriel
is gonna pick her up

384
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:04,985
and we'll have failed!

385
00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:06,614
So, what's it gonna be?

386
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,990
But this is the last one,
for real. Okay?

387
00:15:09,991 --> 00:15:11,074
Mm-hmm.

388
00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:13,076
Whee!

389
00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,328
All right!

390
00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:17,831
The cousin's not picking up.
It's going to friggin' voice mail again.

391
00:15:17,832 --> 00:15:20,751
Hey, Muriel, this is Teddy from before.

392
00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:23,921
I'm back on track here,
so do not pick up Kathleen!

393
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:26,048
Do not pick her up, whatever you do!

394
00:15:26,049 --> 00:15:28,761
Okay, great. Thanks again.
This is Teddy.

395
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,222
Still no answer.

396
00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:36,308
Maybe she doesn't want to talk
'cause she's driving.

397
00:15:36,309 --> 00:15:38,101
Damn you, safety-conscious Muriel.

398
00:15:38,102 --> 00:15:41,731
Look at these suckers
without a police escort. Poor saps.

399
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,280
- Okay. We need our distraction. Gene?
- On it.

400
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:53,075
Oh, my. This is the biggest throw-up
I've ever seen in my life!

401
00:15:53,076 --> 00:15:54,576
And it's so slippery!

402
00:15:54,577 --> 00:15:57,997
A big slippery throw-up?
This is when my training kicks in.

403
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,751
Okay. Go, go, go!

404
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,718
Just a normal extension cord,
nothing to be afraid of.

405
00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:13,887
Pretty sure
it's been here the whole time.

406
00:16:13,888 --> 00:16:15,764
Okay, okay, he's coming.

407
00:16:15,765 --> 00:16:18,642
So, uh... Yeah. It's the shampoo.

408
00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:21,603
Apparently,
I used your late mother's shampoo

409
00:16:21,604 --> 00:16:23,689
and that's, uh, why I smell like her.

410
00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:27,317
- Dad called it.
- Yep. Uh, how did you get it?

411
00:16:27,318 --> 00:16:29,778
It's from France
and they don't make it anymore.

412
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:31,446
Mom bought a case when she was in Paris.

413
00:16:31,447 --> 00:16:36,076
Well, my wife got it from,
um, uh, the dumpster next door.

414
00:16:36,077 --> 00:16:38,036
Oh! I-I told the mortician

415
00:16:38,037 --> 00:16:39,955
that we didn't need
any of the cosmetics back.

416
00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:41,832
There was only a little
left in the bottle.

417
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:46,254
It's true. Sorry, i-if it was upsetting.
Would you like anything else?

418
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,300
Could we ask you a favor?

419
00:16:52,301 --> 00:16:55,721
- Sure.
- Um... Could our dad smell your hair?

420
00:16:55,722 --> 00:16:58,515
He didn't really go close
to the casket during the service.

421
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:01,268
- He was upset.
- But he'd like to, um...

422
00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:03,270
have a good sniff before we go.

423
00:17:03,271 --> 00:17:04,354
Is that okay?

424
00:17:04,355 --> 00:17:07,232
Kind of like that scene with Demi Moore
and Whoopi Goldberg in <i>Ghost?</i>

425
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:08,734
Oh. Uh, sure.

426
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:10,902
Uh, am I Demi or Whoopi?

427
00:17:10,903 --> 00:17:13,072
Either one. That-That's fine, of course.

428
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,158
There's Kathleen.

429
00:17:16,159 --> 00:17:18,326
We made it. We made it. Kathleen!

430
00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:20,579
Hello... everybody.

431
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,873
Okay, we're good. Thanks, officers!

432
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:25,333
Oh, God. There's her cousin Muriel.

433
00:17:25,334 --> 00:17:28,795
I'll stop her. Hi...

434
00:17:28,796 --> 00:17:31,631
Kathleen! Hi, I'm here. I'm here.

435
00:17:31,632 --> 00:17:33,842
- Ready to go?
- Teddy, what happened to you?

436
00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:36,261
Funny story.
I'll tell you while we're driving--

437
00:17:36,262 --> 00:17:37,429
While Linda's driving.

438
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,681
- Linda's driving?
- Let me help you to the truck.

439
00:17:39,682 --> 00:17:42,018
Wait till you hear the mix I made you.

440
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,002
Oh, gosh darn it.

441
00:18:09,003 --> 00:18:10,378
Do the dance.

442
00:18:10,379 --> 00:18:12,047
Do the dance!

443
00:18:12,048 --> 00:18:13,131
Yeah!

444
00:18:13,132 --> 00:18:14,508
Human Pinwheel!

445
00:18:14,509 --> 00:18:15,718
Five, six, seven...

446
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,981
Oh, no. They got out!

447
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,861
Stop! Stop it!
Stop that right now! Sto--

448
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,489
Thank you, Teddy. So hungry.

449
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,927
Oh, I love the dancing.

450
00:18:58,928 --> 00:19:00,804
It's like you're all listening
to a different song.

451
00:19:00,805 --> 00:19:02,806
I was dancing to the high-pitched whine.

452
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:05,267
- That's not nice to say about Louise.
- Of the drone.

453
00:19:05,268 --> 00:19:06,935
Oh, here's where Mr. Frond comes out

454
00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:08,979
and chases Andy and Ollie
all around the field.

455
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,438
Oh, yeah. So angry.

456
00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:12,941
Wait, is he joining the dance?
No, he's just yelling.

457
00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:15,569
So, Mr. Frond knew it looked like this
and they still posted it?

458
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:17,279
I heard him say,
"Maybe no one will notice."

459
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,406
- And then he ran to his car.
- Oh, yeah, there he goes.

460
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:21,783
{\an8}It's kind of like
a butt-bush farting, right?

461
00:19:21,784 --> 00:19:22,909
{\an8}Yeah, sure.

462
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,747
{\an8}Aren't we all? Aren't we all...