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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Good morning, little
elves on all the shelves.
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Time to start the day
right with a visit from
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- The Very Merry Mice!
- ♪ Santa put us in his pocket ♪
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♪ And we're going for a ride ♪
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♪ To all the little girls and boys ♪
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♪ With presents by our side... ♪
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Can someone turn down the radio?
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Just kidding. I know
it's Gene playing music.
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- Good one, T.
- Thanks.
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Aw, Gene's my favorite
little Christmas DJ.
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He's got two turntables and a mistletoe.
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Yup, every year, starting at first light
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on December 1st, all day, every day.
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And I can't escape
it 'cause I live here.
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It's way too early to blast this noise
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on my tender, tiny eardrums.
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I can barely hear myself think of stuff
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I want to ask Santa for.
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I'm just gonna start
shouting it out. Motorcycle!
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Gene, come get some
breakfast before you pass out.
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I'm good. My DJ setup has a cereal bar,
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as they all do, I assume.
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I ho-ho-hope you enjoyed
that holiday classic.
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But Christmas ain't merry
without this DJ Gene favorite.
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You know it, you love it.
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♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud's
Tinsel Machine... ♪
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- Oh, boy.
-Oh, God.
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Ugh! This album gets way too much play.
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Some of us don't need to
hear it every ten minutes.
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♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud's
Tinsel Machine... ♪
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- This is your fault, Dad.
- I know. I'm so sorry.
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Who are you?
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Oh, I forgot I still had that.
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That-That's Percy McTinsel-Bud.
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It's a really weird
Christmas album from the '70s.
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My aunt gave it to me. I-I
think she smoked a lot of pot.
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It's a Christmas album?
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Why are there kittens
diving into a tea cup?
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I don't remember all the songs,
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but maybe there's one about that.
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I-I'll just donate it to the trash.
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No, I want it! It makes me uncomfortable
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in a way I kinda like.
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If only I'd destroyed that
thing when I had the chance.
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At least we all get to
suffer together as a family?
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Mother, dance with
me to "Santa's Groove-Shop."
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Oh, my God, the DJ
asked to dance with me.
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- Coming.
- No. Stop encouraging him.
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Also, Santa doesn't allow
grooving in his shop.
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He's all business.
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♪ Dancing on the
workshop dance floor... ♪
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Hey, can I ask you guys something?
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Can
we use your allowance
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to check into a hotel
till New Year's? Yes.
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No. Do you think I
could get really, really,
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really good at gift wrapping?
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I want to learn to
gift wrap like the pros.
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- What do you mean?
- My gift-giving game is ho ho ho,
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but my gift wrapping game is a no no no.
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I want to be good at both so I can be
a Christmas double threat.
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You are pretty bad at wrapping.
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Remember that time when Mom
thought your present to her
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was a crumpled pile of
garbage, and she threw it out?
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Oh, yeah, that was sad.
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But the gloves you got her were nice,
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when she fished them
out of the dumpster.
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Too bad she didn't have gloves for that.
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Anyone have any requests
for DJ Gene after this song?
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- Uh...
- How about nothing?
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You know what, never mind.
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I know what everyone's thirsty for.
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♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud. ♪
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Thanks, Linda.
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Hey, I have a proposal for you guys.
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- Uh...
- What is it?
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How'd you two like to do
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a neighborhood Secret Santa?
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- Ooh.
- Oh, no, thanks.
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Come on. Neighborhood Secret Santa.
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Like, let's say I get
Bob, and Bob gets Linda,
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and Linda gets me. How fun is that?
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- No. Oh.
- I love it.
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But, Teddy, you can't do
Secret Santa with three people.
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Sure you can. Three is perfect.
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I'm pretty sure that's the
traditional way it's done.
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Hello.
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Hi, Mort. Hey, you want to do
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- a neighborhood Secret Santa with us?
- Wait, what?
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- Oh, uh, okay, sure.
- Ah...
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But, full disclosure,
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I've never Secret Santa'd
before, so be gentle.
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- Ugh.
- What?
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Four people is still
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not really enough people.
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Darn. Should we maybe just go back
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to how things were before
Teddy mentioned this idea?
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Oh, oh, Mike,
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you got to do neighborhood
Secret Santa with us.
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We need the numbers.
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Oh, uh, I don't know.
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- Oh, come on.
- It's... You don't have to.
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- It's neighborhood Secret Santa.
- No one has to.
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I mean, it's not as though I've got an
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insanely busy job this
time of year or anything.
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- Feel free to say no, Mike.
- Oh, no, I'm definitely in.
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I just wanted you guys to appreciate
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how hard I work during the holidays.
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All right. Okay, so I
write everyone's name,
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put 'em in a cup, and then we all pick.
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Whatever name you get,
you buy them a present.
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But you can't tell anyone who you got.
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No trading names, either.
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Or else the Christmas police will come
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and take you to Christmas jail.
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Oh, then do we get arraigned-deer?
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Mort, please.
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And we don't spend any more than, uh,
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let's say 15 bucks on a present.
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Unless you get my name, then go nuts.
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Ha. Just kidding.
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Sorta. Okay, everyone draw a name.
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- Bob, you go first.
- Oh, we-we're really doing this?
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Quit your sighing and
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pick a name, Teddy. This was your idea.
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Right. Great. Here I go. Picking a name.
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Aah, no! You got to be kidding me.
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Anyone but... aah! I mean, great.
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So glad we're doing this.
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Just make sure to crease your corners,
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and voilà, the perfectly wrapped gift.
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Dang it, how does she get
her corners that straight?
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Did she sell her soul to the devil?
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Okay, all you saucy Christmas puddings,
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stuff this in your stocking.
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♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud...
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No! Sleep was my one true escape!
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-Gene...
-I know, but hear me out. I realized,
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why does the party have to end,
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just 'cause of bedtime?
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Christmas music season
is only 30 days a year.
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You know I love that you love
being Mommy's Christmas DJ,
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but I think everyone's
just feeling, uh, tired,
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'cause it's nighttime.
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Also, you should be in bed,
where we thought you were.
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Come on, give us a fade-out
and one sleigh bell,
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- and off to bed.
- Okay, fine.
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See you at 5:30 for the morning zoo.
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Okay, honey, put your album away
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- and go to sleep.
- I will.
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I just want to say good night
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- to all the songs just one more time.
- All right.
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You're a great song.
You're a great song.
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You're a great song.
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You're a great song.
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Huh?
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Aah! No!
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Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
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Gene? Gene, what is it?
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Oh, no, your record.
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Oh, I'm so sorry, Gene.
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Yeah, I'm really, really
gonna miss it. Dang.
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It's okay, it's okay. I'm
taping it back together,
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and we'll be listening
to Percy McTinsel-Bud's
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funky Christmas hits again in no time.
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Oh, why did my beautiful,
sleeping body have to crush you?
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Uh, maybe go easy on the
tape. We're getting low.
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Not because of me and
my gift wrap issues.
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I mean... Never mind.
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Gene, I-I don't think
that's how records will work.
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It-It's fine. It's perfect.
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I actually think it could use more.
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Aah, turn it off, turn it off.
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Oh, God, why couldn't it have been me?
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Why couldn't it have been me?
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I'm so sorry you broke
your record, baby.
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Yeah, it-it was a really great one.
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We still need our little Christmas DJ
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to play all the other
jingle-merry hits, right?
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- I mean, do we?
- Shush.
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Yeah, Gene, look at
all these other records
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that want to go for a spin.
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Hey, Gene, play me. I'm fun, too.
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Sounds like somebody's coming around.
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Hey, you know, this can't be the
only Percy McTinsel-Bud record.
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There's got to be other ones out there.
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- Huh?
- Dad, shush.
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You're right, Bob. Tina, Louise,
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isn't there a little
record store up the street?
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Why don't you take your brother there
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to look for another copy?
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Uh, great idea, but maybe
after the lunch rush?
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Father, how can any of us think
about working at the restaurant
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at a time like this?
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We'll bring Gene to the record store
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for as long as it takes.
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I mean, I sort of wanted
to practice my gift wrapping
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00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:06,435
in the restaurant in between customers.
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- Bup, bup, bup. Gene?
- Okay, I'll go.
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00:07:08,364 --> 00:07:11,119
But I'm still pretty weak
from my traumatic morning.
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Can you guys make a little seat
with your hands and carry me?
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- Fine.
- Okay.
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You good there, Teddy?
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You been so quiet,
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nibbling your food like a
little Christmas church mouse.
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- I'm great.
- I'm gonna go down to the walk-in,
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get some more lettuce.
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Oh, yeah, get some more
lettuce. Get lots of lettuce.
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That's... Okay.
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- Linda.
- What? What?
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I need to switch out
my Secret Santa name
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with a different name.
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Come on, Teddy, you know the rules.
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- Please. I won't tell anyone.
- No.
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00:07:36,484 --> 00:07:38,019
I got Mort, okay!
216
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-I don't hear that. I don't hear...
-I got Mort.
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- I don't want to do this anymore.
- Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
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It wasn't supposed to go down like this.
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I was supposed to get one of you guys.
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♪ Christmas. ♪
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Oh, Secret Santa stuff. I got Mike.
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- No!
- Everybody shush!
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It's not in Holiday.
224
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It's not in Folk. It's not in Funk.
225
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And why isn't there a
Holiday Funk Folk section?
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What kind of record store is this?!
227
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Maybe we just ask for some help?
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Hi. My brother wants to
know if you have this record.
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The moisture is just tummy sweat.
230
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We were sharing body warmth.
231
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Percy McTinsel-Bud's Tinsel Machine?
232
00:08:04,363 --> 00:08:05,379
Never heard of it.
233
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,391
Good news is, I guess
you already own it?
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- It's broken, like all my dreams!
- Easy, Gene.
235
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Did you check the Holiday section?
236
00:08:12,163 --> 00:08:14,664
Oh, your so-called
Holiday section? Yes.
237
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Who the hell is Bing Crosby?
238
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Sorry, I guess we don't have it.
239
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Well, we did our best.
240
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No!
241
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Are you gonna be like this
242
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all through Christmas?
243
00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:25,724
Uh-huh.
244
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Please, what would you do if
you were looking for this record?
245
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How do we get another one?
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00:08:29,647 --> 00:08:32,458
Well, I would go online, but
I assume you did that already.
247
00:08:32,609 --> 00:08:34,626
But, um, just for a
joke, pretend we didn't.
248
00:08:34,651 --> 00:08:35,667
What would you look up?
249
00:08:35,692 --> 00:08:37,025
Well, you'd go on Recordrooter.
250
00:08:37,045 --> 00:08:40,736
Hmm, it was released in
1973 by Toodle-Loo Records.
251
00:08:40,761 --> 00:08:43,094
But I'm not seeing any
copies for sale anywhere.
252
00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:46,678
But it's a holiday classic.
253
00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:49,267
So there's just, like, no
more of them in the world?
254
00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:50,478
They're just gone?
255
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:54,412
Well, yeah. I mean, some
records just kinda go away.
256
00:08:54,437 --> 00:08:57,157
And that's why you got
to take really good care
257
00:08:57,182 --> 00:08:58,940
of those special, rare albums.
258
00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:00,125
No... !
259
00:09:00,276 --> 00:09:02,380
Well, I mean there are some collectors
260
00:09:02,405 --> 00:09:03,922
who go deeper than Recordrooter.
261
00:09:03,947 --> 00:09:05,279
Try this guy. He's local,
262
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:07,023
and he's a super-obsessive collector.
263
00:09:07,048 --> 00:09:09,743
He once found a copy of
Pavarotti's novelty record,
264
00:09:09,768 --> 00:09:11,303
Naughty Pavarotti.
265
00:09:11,328 --> 00:09:12,304
Okay, I like it.
266
00:09:12,329 --> 00:09:13,932
Hey, do you guys gift wrap here?
267
00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:16,457
- I guess we can.
- Teach me everything you know.
268
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:17,625
- Tina, stop.
- Sorry.
269
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,561
Whoa, guys.
270
00:09:20,563 --> 00:09:23,540
- Hey, Courtney. Is your dad home?
- What?
271
00:09:24,419 --> 00:09:26,294
So, I-I know you don't want to know
272
00:09:26,319 --> 00:09:28,066
that I have Mike, but do
you think that somebody
273
00:09:28,091 --> 00:09:31,743
very much like Mike
might enjoy a throw pillow
274
00:09:31,768 --> 00:09:33,330
that looks like a wooden log?
275
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,355
Bob, stop.
276
00:09:34,481 --> 00:09:37,053
It's not Out-Loud
Santa, it's Secret Santa.
277
00:09:37,072 --> 00:09:37,954
That's what makes it fun.
278
00:09:37,979 --> 00:09:39,457
It was even more fun to not buy gifts
279
00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:40,895
for someone I don't know that well.
280
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,243
Also, now I'm worried about
disappointing our mailman
281
00:09:43,337 --> 00:09:45,315
and maybe not getting mail anymore.
282
00:09:45,524 --> 00:09:46,918
- Bob's Burgers.
- Bob!
283
00:09:46,943 --> 00:09:47,778
Oh, hi, Teddy.
284
00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:49,653
Don't say my name,
don't tell Linda it's me.
285
00:09:49,678 --> 00:09:51,794
Okay, stranger I don't know.
286
00:09:51,819 --> 00:09:53,583
I can't find anything to get Mort.
287
00:09:53,638 --> 00:09:55,558
I just keep seeing things
you and Linda would love.
288
00:09:55,582 --> 00:09:57,606
Is Teddy talking about his Secret Santa?
289
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,377
Tell him he's got to do it on his own.
290
00:09:59,401 --> 00:10:00,400
- Come on, I'm dying over here.
- Um, I-I...
291
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:02,267
- Hanging up now.
- I hate this.
292
00:10:02,292 --> 00:10:03,642
- You love it.
- No.
293
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:05,833
Hmm, I'm not familiar with this album,
294
00:10:05,858 --> 00:10:07,886
but I know the label
Toodle-Loo Records.
295
00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:10,517
They're super small, they
didn't put out much, and, uh...
296
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,740
Ugh, these lights are
so tangled, I can't tell
297
00:10:12,765 --> 00:10:14,265
if I'm making it worse or better.
298
00:10:14,342 --> 00:10:15,959
It definitely looks
more tangled than before.
299
00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:18,021
This used to be all nice and long.
300
00:10:18,046 --> 00:10:19,862
They're pretty, though.
I mean, I'm sure they're
301
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,490
prettier when they're on.
302
00:10:21,515 --> 00:10:23,849
It's just, last year
everyone in this neighborhood
303
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:25,983
started doing major
Christmas decorations.
304
00:10:26,008 --> 00:10:27,359
So we gave it a go, and I thought
305
00:10:27,384 --> 00:10:30,719
we had a good display,
but we were way under lit.
306
00:10:30,744 --> 00:10:32,322
And somehow over-reindeered.
307
00:10:32,347 --> 00:10:34,071
I'm not going through that again.
308
00:10:34,096 --> 00:10:35,854
It was a lot of reindeers, Dad.
309
00:10:35,879 --> 00:10:37,847
So, getting back to the record...
310
00:10:37,865 --> 00:10:39,682
Do you know where we can find a copy?
311
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,206
Or do you know someone who
knows where we could find a copy?
312
00:10:41,231 --> 00:10:42,772
I do know someone.
313
00:10:42,812 --> 00:10:45,194
- What time is it in London?
- There's really no way to know.
314
00:10:45,219 --> 00:10:46,538
Uh, tea time?
315
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,517
She helped me track
down Naughty Pavarotti.
316
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:50,951
- Lot of buzz about that record.
- I know, right?
317
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,878
So, yeah, if anyone
can help me track down
318
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,978
a super rare, out of
print Toodle-Loo Records
319
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:56,061
Christmas album, it's her.
320
00:10:56,086 --> 00:10:58,361
It's the most specific superpower.
321
00:10:58,386 --> 00:11:00,194
Dad, I'm doing that part.
322
00:11:00,219 --> 00:11:02,812
Okay, but I'm just
gonna do it, uh, better.
323
00:11:02,837 --> 00:11:04,002
Oh, it's ringing.
324
00:11:04,035 --> 00:11:05,517
English ring-tones, they freak me out.
325
00:11:05,689 --> 00:11:08,356
Ah, hi, Alice. Doug Wheeler.
326
00:11:08,381 --> 00:11:10,539
Have I, uh, caught you in
the middle of anything, or...
327
00:11:10,564 --> 00:11:12,624
- Oh, you're having some tea.
- Yes.
328
00:11:12,649 --> 00:11:15,109
Uh, listen, I won't keep you.
Have you heard of a record
329
00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:18,139
called Percy McTinsel-Bud's
Tinsel Machine?
330
00:11:18,164 --> 00:11:19,624
She's heard of it. Shh.
331
00:11:19,648 --> 00:11:22,034
Uh, listen I'm trying
to track down a copy.
332
00:11:22,059 --> 00:11:24,669
It's kind of an emergency
situation. Uh-huh.
333
00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:27,621
Uh-huh. Oh. Oh, no. Okay.
334
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:28,812
Well, then, I'll let you go.
335
00:11:28,837 --> 00:11:31,796
Thanks. Or cheers.
Ta-ta? Oh, you say "bye."
336
00:11:31,831 --> 00:11:34,563
So do I. I say bye. Bye... Bye.
337
00:11:34,588 --> 00:11:37,164
So, they pressed very, very few copies,
338
00:11:37,189 --> 00:11:39,143
which only went out
to the band's fan club.
339
00:11:39,168 --> 00:11:40,610
And they had very few fans.
340
00:11:40,635 --> 00:11:43,170
Then there was a fire at the
Toodle-Loo Records warehouse.
341
00:11:43,189 --> 00:11:45,367
No one died, but if
there were any copies
342
00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:48,318
of the record in there,
uh, yeah, they died.
343
00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:50,269
So... we're getting closer?
344
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,856
That copy of the Percy McTinsel-Bud
345
00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:54,699
that you are holding could
be the last physical copy
346
00:11:54,724 --> 00:11:57,150
on this blue marble we call Earth.
347
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,906
And you said you broke it, right?
348
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,855
Aw, my sweet Gene.
349
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,335
Do you want a piece of
cheese? Want some salami?
350
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,343
Oh, do you want me
to go DJ for a little while?
351
00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:11,031
No. I never want to hear
any holiday music ever again.
352
00:12:11,050 --> 00:12:12,532
You don't mean that.
353
00:12:12,552 --> 00:12:15,127
He didn't even say anything
about the cheese and the salami.
354
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,589
I know. I'm really scared.
355
00:12:16,614 --> 00:12:18,258
Seems like Gene's got
to get his moans out.
356
00:12:18,282 --> 00:12:20,558
Should we, uh, leave him to it?
357
00:12:20,785 --> 00:12:24,136
I have a bad, stupid idea
that I don't even want to say,
358
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,568
but I don't know what else to do.
359
00:12:25,593 --> 00:12:26,700
- Tickle party?
- No.
360
00:12:26,725 --> 00:12:29,669
We recreate Percy
McTinsel-Bud ourselves?
361
00:12:29,694 --> 00:12:31,958
Oh. But also tickle party?
362
00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:36,938
So you're saying you want us to record
363
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:39,737
Gene's terrible Christmas
album ourselves from memory?
364
00:12:39,762 --> 00:12:41,973
I said it was dumb, but
what's our alternative?
365
00:12:41,998 --> 00:12:44,582
Mopey Claus in there
is gonna ruin Christmas.
366
00:12:44,607 --> 00:12:45,926
I think it's a good idea.
367
00:12:45,951 --> 00:12:49,758
I mean, we all know the songs,
since he played them a lot, every day.
368
00:12:49,783 --> 00:12:51,163
But how do we do it
without Gene knowing?
369
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,959
He lives here so much.
370
00:12:52,984 --> 00:12:54,817
Also, we don't play any instruments,
371
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:55,742
and we don't sing.
372
00:12:55,762 --> 00:12:58,696
♪ I beg your pardon? ♪
373
00:12:58,930 --> 00:13:00,322
Okay, fine.
374
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,726
I don't think it's gonna
work, but it's either this
375
00:13:02,751 --> 00:13:04,326
or we have to put Gene down.
376
00:13:04,345 --> 00:13:06,005
Because the kid is really suffering.
377
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:07,474
We could do it tomorrow
in the restaurant
378
00:13:07,498 --> 00:13:08,773
when there's no customers.
379
00:13:08,798 --> 00:13:11,258
- Which is something that happens a lot.
- Louise.
380
00:13:11,277 --> 00:13:12,501
We just need to figure out
381
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:13,935
how to get Gene out of the house.
382
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,286
Maybe some kind of
zip line? Those are fun.
383
00:13:17,352 --> 00:13:19,243
Hello. Oh, hi, Courtney.
384
00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:20,621
I don't know if Gene
can come to the phone
385
00:13:20,646 --> 00:13:22,079
right now. He's moaning.
386
00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:24,758
I just wanted to let him know
he left his retainer here.
387
00:13:24,783 --> 00:13:26,606
Uh, Gene doesn't wear a retainer, honey.
388
00:13:26,626 --> 00:13:30,329
Okay... then someone's
throwing retainers in our yard.
389
00:13:30,354 --> 00:13:32,112
Oh, Mom, let me talk to her.
390
00:13:32,744 --> 00:13:35,167
So I guess I'm going to Courtney's now
391
00:13:35,192 --> 00:13:37,134
because she was weirdly
insistent that I help
392
00:13:37,159 --> 00:13:39,267
her and her dad hang
up Christmas lights?
393
00:13:39,292 --> 00:13:40,932
But all I want to do is lie on the floor
394
00:13:40,956 --> 00:13:42,949
and think about how
nothing gold can stay.
395
00:13:42,974 --> 00:13:46,958
Go, Gene. You'll have a great
time hanging up lights...
396
00:13:46,983 --> 00:13:48,365
Yeah. Electricity is... amazing.
397
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:51,373
And Courtney and Doug are so fun.
398
00:13:51,392 --> 00:13:52,776
You won't miss anything here.
399
00:13:52,801 --> 00:13:55,757
We'll just be watching Tina
while she keeps wrapping
400
00:13:55,782 --> 00:13:58,115
the same tissue box over and over again.
401
00:13:58,140 --> 00:14:00,915
My creases are getting crisper.
Don't look at this one.
402
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,876
Maybe I could use that
for my Secret Santa gift.
403
00:14:02,901 --> 00:14:05,673
- Bob, no. $15.
- But those are the good
404
00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:07,710
- tissues. They're so soft.
- Uh-uh.
405
00:14:07,743 --> 00:14:09,902
- Okay, Gene, come on.
- Fine, I'll go.
406
00:14:09,927 --> 00:14:12,282
But I won't have fun because
I'll never smile again.
407
00:14:12,307 --> 00:14:14,226
That's the spirit. There you go.
408
00:14:14,251 --> 00:14:15,373
Okay, have fun. Love you, bye.
409
00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:16,899
You're great and everything's normal.
410
00:14:16,917 --> 00:14:19,993
Now, careful with that
snowman. Do not let it tip over.
411
00:14:20,012 --> 00:14:21,587
Oh, look, there's the Robinsons. Hi.
412
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:24,239
No, no. no, don't look, don't
look, we're not set up yet.
413
00:14:24,258 --> 00:14:25,240
- Gene. Gene!
- Wha... ?
414
00:14:25,259 --> 00:14:26,833
Block that side. Block that side.
415
00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:29,169
Okay, Percy McTinsel-Bud's
416
00:14:29,194 --> 00:14:31,387
Tinsel Machine intro track, take one.
417
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,083
♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud's ♪
418
00:14:34,101 --> 00:14:35,675
♪ Tinsel Machine. ♪
419
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,391
Cut. Cut. Is everybody warmed up?
420
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,582
- Are you warmed up?
- How do I do that?
421
00:14:39,607 --> 00:14:41,348
♪ The hippest moves
you've ever grooved to ♪
422
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:44,535
♪ On the workshop dance floor. ♪
423
00:14:44,736 --> 00:14:46,186
♪ Who are people? ♪
424
00:14:46,205 --> 00:14:47,613
♪ We are people ♪
425
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:50,190
♪ Elves are people, too. ♪
426
00:14:50,284 --> 00:14:52,042
- ♪ Zip! Bam! Pop! ♪
- ♪ What do I hear? ♪
427
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:54,119
♪ It's Santa's sleigh
in the atmosphere ♪
428
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,915
♪ He's got space reindeer ♪
429
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:59,032
♪ To pull him through the
stars, space reindeer ♪
430
00:14:59,051 --> 00:15:02,127
- ♪ Na-na-na-na-na... Mars ♪
- ♪ He's givin' presents to Mars ♪
431
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,181
♪ Up there in his sleigh. ♪
432
00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:08,000
♪ Teacup kittens strike again! ♪
433
00:15:08,025 --> 00:15:10,687
Are you open?
434
00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,849
Uh, yes. Uh, yes, we-we are.
435
00:15:12,874 --> 00:15:16,078
What's wrong with you, lights?
Why aren't you lighting?
436
00:15:16,103 --> 00:15:18,580
And the plastic carolers
don't look merry at all.
437
00:15:18,605 --> 00:15:21,261
I give up. I guess we'll have to move.
438
00:15:21,286 --> 00:15:24,136
At least you didn't roll over
and break your dreams in half.
439
00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:27,022
- Stupid Christmas.
- Yeah. Stupid Christmas.
440
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:28,672
- I like Christmas.
- No, you don't.
441
00:15:28,697 --> 00:15:30,397
- I do.
- Name one good thing.
442
00:15:30,416 --> 00:15:32,565
The presents, Santa, the pageantry.
443
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:33,847
I said one thing!
444
00:15:33,872 --> 00:15:36,046
Oh, Daddy. You need a big ol' beer.
445
00:15:36,071 --> 00:15:37,312
I'm gonna go tell Mom.
446
00:15:37,373 --> 00:15:39,739
- Uh... I'm gonna go.
- See you around.
447
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:41,241
Ugh, don't look at me like that.
448
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:42,668
Shh-shh-shh. He's coming.
449
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,130
- Hi. -Hey, Gene.
- Hey.
450
00:15:44,155 --> 00:15:46,350
- Hi.
- What's happening?
451
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:48,609
Did you guys all fart on
my pillow or something?
452
00:15:48,634 --> 00:15:51,660
What? No. I did that one time.
453
00:15:51,679 --> 00:15:53,172
Okay, Gene, here's the thing.
454
00:15:53,197 --> 00:15:54,749
We got Courtney to invite you over today
455
00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:57,487
so we could make you... this.
456
00:15:57,512 --> 00:15:59,281
- I wrapped it. No big deal.
- Hmm?
457
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:02,726
We made you a tape
of Percy McTinsel-Bud.
458
00:16:02,751 --> 00:16:05,894
Yeah. We sang all of your
favorite Christmas songs
459
00:16:05,919 --> 00:16:08,056
in the world, and we
did all the instruments.
460
00:16:08,081 --> 00:16:10,823
Not with instruments
but with our mouths.
461
00:16:10,848 --> 00:16:12,816
- Uh-huh...
- And we didn't know all the words,
462
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,007
but you can barely tell.
463
00:16:14,032 --> 00:16:16,117
Unless you know all
the words. Which you do.
464
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,066
But we couldn't call you
and ask you what they were
465
00:16:18,091 --> 00:16:19,331
'cause, surprise.
466
00:16:19,356 --> 00:16:21,685
Why don't you... play it?
467
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:24,451
Right. Uh... okay.
468
00:16:24,476 --> 00:16:27,525
- ♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud's... ♪
- No!
469
00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:29,455
I mean, uh, I love it.
470
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,146
You just shut off the
tape player and yelled "No."
471
00:16:32,171 --> 00:16:33,865
- Yup. Mm-hmm.
- It was all Tina's idea.
472
00:16:33,890 --> 00:16:36,377
- What?
- I'm sorry. You guys worked so hard.
473
00:16:36,402 --> 00:16:38,521
Aah! First I destroy the
last piece of precious
474
00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:40,444
musical history that should
have been in whatever safe
475
00:16:40,469 --> 00:16:42,604
the League of Extraordinary
Gentlemen have,
476
00:16:42,629 --> 00:16:44,687
and then I make you guys
feel bad about trying
477
00:16:44,706 --> 00:16:48,127
to do something nice. I
just keep ruining Christmas!
478
00:16:48,152 --> 00:16:50,897
Oh, my Genie. What a Chris-mess.
479
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,558
That gift wrapping, though, right?
480
00:16:55,589 --> 00:16:57,792
Aw, we were dumb to try to remake Gene's
481
00:16:57,811 --> 00:17:00,219
favorite Christmas
album. What are we, Moby?
482
00:17:00,244 --> 00:17:01,606
Should we go talk to him?
483
00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:03,708
Maybe we should just
give him some space.
484
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:06,376
Wait. Are we sure our
tape isn't incredible?
485
00:17:06,394 --> 00:17:07,468
Don't answer that.
486
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,213
Oh, Percy McTinsel-Bud.
487
00:17:10,231 --> 00:17:11,972
You were the best thing about Christmas,
488
00:17:11,992 --> 00:17:13,655
and now you're gone forever.
489
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,285
Hey, Gene.
490
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,888
- Want some tinsel?
- Uh, sure.
491
00:17:19,134 --> 00:17:21,259
- So shiny.
- Yeah.
492
00:17:21,284 --> 00:17:22,978
It just makes me want to...
493
00:17:23,003 --> 00:17:26,476
♪ Tinsel all through the night! ♪
494
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:29,577
God, you're amazing.
I'm-I'm so sorry, Percy.
495
00:17:29,602 --> 00:17:32,660
I don't want you to be so sad
about breaking the record, Gene.
496
00:17:32,679 --> 00:17:35,588
Well, I am. I'm sadder
than the teacup kitten
497
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,878
who fell out of the teacup
and couldn't get back in.
498
00:17:37,903 --> 00:17:39,828
What about the tape your family made?
499
00:17:39,853 --> 00:17:41,504
I couldn't listen to it.
500
00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:44,166
Them trying to redo that
record is like trying to paint
501
00:17:44,191 --> 00:17:46,469
the Sistine Chapel
with a bunch of gravy.
502
00:17:46,494 --> 00:17:49,086
How would it even stay up there?
It would just drip on everybody.
503
00:17:49,105 --> 00:17:52,331
I see what you mean about that
gravy, but I actually think
504
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:54,642
it's pretty great that
they made that tape for you.
505
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:57,353
Lots of songs are
covers. Covers are cool.
506
00:17:57,378 --> 00:17:59,406
- They are?
- Songs and blankets.
507
00:17:59,431 --> 00:18:02,406
Gene, for you, your
family's version might not be
508
00:18:02,431 --> 00:18:05,305
your favorite version, but maybe
someday you'll give the tape
509
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:06,375
to your kids.
510
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,836
And it'll be their favorite version,
511
00:18:07,861 --> 00:18:09,609
'cause it'll be the only one they know.
512
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,750
And they can roll over
on it and break it,
513
00:18:11,775 --> 00:18:13,443
and then make their own tape.
514
00:18:13,463 --> 00:18:16,702
The point is, the music
keeps going. You dig?
515
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:18,500
- Huh.
- Okay, I'm gonna head out.
516
00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:19,961
And don't worry about me.
517
00:18:19,986 --> 00:18:21,446
Back where I come from,
518
00:18:21,471 --> 00:18:24,138
we're still keeping it funky and skunky.
519
00:18:24,163 --> 00:18:27,422
- Heaven?
- No. The '70s!
520
00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:29,219
Bye, Percy. I love you.
521
00:18:29,294 --> 00:18:31,871
We have gathered here today
522
00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:34,293
for neighborhood Secret Santa, baby.
523
00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:36,277
I just want to apologize
in advance for mine.
524
00:18:36,302 --> 00:18:38,894
Bob, shush. Let's open our gifts!
525
00:18:38,919 --> 00:18:41,004
Oh, who am I kidding?
I just have to accept
526
00:18:41,029 --> 00:18:42,361
that I'm not good at gift wrapping.
527
00:18:42,386 --> 00:18:44,026
You don't have to
wrap my present at all.
528
00:18:44,051 --> 00:18:45,078
Just make sure it's really big.
529
00:18:45,103 --> 00:18:46,621
Tina, if it makes you feel any better,
530
00:18:46,646 --> 00:18:48,641
I think "good" gift
wrapping always seems
531
00:18:48,665 --> 00:18:49,754
so cold and impersonal.
532
00:18:49,779 --> 00:18:51,672
I'd much rather get a
present wrapped like that.
533
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,984
It seems more thoughtful
and interesting.
534
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:55,647
Hey, thanks, Mike. And you should know.
535
00:18:55,672 --> 00:18:56,987
You've seen a lot of packages.
536
00:18:57,006 --> 00:18:58,673
Because, you know, you're a mailman.
537
00:18:58,698 --> 00:19:00,123
Yeah. I am a mailman.
538
00:19:00,148 --> 00:19:01,658
But that envelope probably seems
539
00:19:01,678 --> 00:19:03,402
pretty thoughtful, too, right?
540
00:19:03,421 --> 00:19:05,739
- Yeah.
- Sorry, it's a gift card.
541
00:19:05,764 --> 00:19:07,808
- From the heart?
- Hey, this is great.
542
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,332
The Home Furnishings Superstore.
543
00:19:09,352 --> 00:19:12,186
I love home furnishings.
And a superstore?
544
00:19:12,337 --> 00:19:15,080
- Oh. Good.
- Aw, Mike, thanks for the stamps!
545
00:19:15,174 --> 00:19:17,314
- How'd you know they were from me?
- Just a lucky guess.
546
00:19:17,339 --> 00:19:19,154
Wait, Bob, what present did you get?
547
00:19:19,179 --> 00:19:22,087
Uh, it's a note. "I got the car washed."
548
00:19:22,106 --> 00:19:24,556
- Oh. Is this from Linda?
- Yeah, it is.
549
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,076
- Thanks. This is perfect.
- Perfect.
550
00:19:27,101 --> 00:19:28,146
Yeah. Great.
551
00:19:28,171 --> 00:19:30,367
- Teddy, open yours.
- Fine.
552
00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:32,114
Oh... It's a...
553
00:19:32,139 --> 00:19:34,640
A little plaque that says
"Teddy." For your, uh, stool.
554
00:19:34,665 --> 00:19:36,521
I figured since you have
a favorite stool here,
555
00:19:36,546 --> 00:19:38,604
maybe Bob and Linda
could put your name on it.
556
00:19:38,622 --> 00:19:40,099
- Aw.
- Oh, uh, I-I don't think we...
557
00:19:40,124 --> 00:19:44,178
Wow. Mort, this is, like, the best
gift anyone's ever gotten me.
558
00:19:44,203 --> 00:19:46,703
Now I feel bad about
the calendar I got you.
559
00:19:46,723 --> 00:19:49,114
Pictures of old barns?
I'm a total barn nut.
560
00:19:49,133 --> 00:19:52,537
Barns, bridges, I think they
got some fences in there, too.
561
00:19:52,562 --> 00:19:54,327
Bob! A plaque for my stool.
562
00:19:54,546 --> 00:19:57,214
- Should we put it right here?
- Uh, yeah, maybe.
563
00:19:57,233 --> 00:20:00,217
Or, oh, uh, under the
seat might be a good spot.
564
00:20:00,236 --> 00:20:01,885
Like a fun, hidden thing?
565
00:20:01,904 --> 00:20:03,571
I love that, that's great.
566
00:20:03,596 --> 00:20:05,942
I love Secret Santa!
567
00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,583
I'm gonna go get
my tools in the truck.
568
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,802
Oh, excuse me, elf.
569
00:20:09,895 --> 00:20:11,206
Aw, Genie, you came out of your room.
570
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:13,489
And you're in your deejaying outfit.
571
00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:15,238
Mother, Father, sisters,
572
00:20:15,263 --> 00:20:17,522
I listened to the tape
you made me. All of it.
573
00:20:17,547 --> 00:20:19,530
And it's really great.
574
00:20:19,555 --> 00:20:20,647
You don't have to say that.
575
00:20:20,672 --> 00:20:22,498
Yeah. Music's a lot harder to do
576
00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:23,519
when you're not good at it.
577
00:20:23,544 --> 00:20:24,544
We know that now.
578
00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:25,818
No! You did the right thing.
579
00:20:25,836 --> 00:20:27,261
The music isn't gone.
580
00:20:27,286 --> 00:20:29,286
This is Percy McTinsel-Bud now.
581
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,573
It just needed a
little, uh, touching up.
582
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:32,985
And some major remixing.
583
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:35,661
♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud's ♪
584
00:20:35,686 --> 00:20:37,519
♪ Tinsel Machine ♪
585
00:20:39,477 --> 00:20:40,734
♪ Percy... ♪
586
00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:42,987
- Wow.
- Whoa.
587
00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:46,596
- Nice.
- All right! My Christmas DJ is back!
588
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:47,759
Yeah, he is, baby.
589
00:20:47,784 --> 00:20:48,835
So how about Christmas music
590
00:20:48,859 --> 00:20:50,618
all day in the restaurant?
591
00:20:50,643 --> 00:20:51,976
Oh. Good.
592
00:20:52,121 --> 00:20:54,455
You know, I kinda like the way it looks.
593
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,600
I miss the reindeer, though.
594
00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:57,751
Dad, let's go get the reindeer.
595
00:20:57,776 --> 00:21:01,163
Yeah! Santa can have as many
reindeers as he friggin' wants!
596
00:21:02,632 --> 00:21:05,541
♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud's
Tinsel Machine ♪
597
00:21:05,566 --> 00:21:06,937
♪ The greatest guy around ♪
598
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:09,688
♪ It makes us tinsel if
you know what I mean ♪
599
00:21:09,713 --> 00:21:10,707
♪ Percy McTinsel-Bud ♪
600
00:21:10,731 --> 00:21:13,123
♪ He hangs it everywhere,
he lets it all hang out ♪
601
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:14,462
♪ He's coming to your town ♪
602
00:21:14,487 --> 00:21:17,036
♪ To make your Christmas
shine beyond a doubt, yeah ♪
603
00:21:17,054 --> 00:21:19,106
- ♪ He's got that tinsel ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
604
00:21:19,131 --> 00:21:20,797
♪ At Christmastime ♪
605
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:26,539
♪ You know he's gonna
a-make it shine... ♪
606
00:21:26,564 --> 00:21:30,825
♪ Yeah, to make your Christmas
shine beyond a doubt, yeah ♪
607
00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:33,702
♪ Yeah, my tinsel. ♪
608
00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:36,869
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --