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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Linda.
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What is it? What
happened? What happened?
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- I heard something.
- Oh.
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I-I really hope it's not a burglar.
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I'm not good at fighting.
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- Or running away.
- Oh, God. What if it is?
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The house is a mess. I
feel bad for the burglar.
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- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Louise.
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Are you okay?
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I've never seen you
sweep anything before.
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Yeah. Sorry about the sugar bowl.
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I was just gonna have a few
spoonfuls for clean energy.
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- Okay.
- Why do you have a blow-dryer?
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- And a pillow?
- They're our weapons.
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We thought there was a burglar.
We were gonna style him.
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And then he could have a little rest.
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- Hmm. That's a great plan.
- Here, let me help you with that.
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It's the middle of the night,
I thought you went to bed.
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You're still working on
your career day assignment?
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Oh, no, all done, it's just in
invisible ink, so, you know...
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Hmm.
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Hey, what's going on?
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Are you guys having Midnight
Breakfast without me?
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No, I was just getting
down the sugar bowl
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- to have some sugar for...
- Clean energy.
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Yeah, so I could
finish/start my poster board
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- and the bowl fell.
- Oh, your poster looks great.
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Not too busy.
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Ugh, I just... we're
supposed to research
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different careers that we
could see ourselves being
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when we grow up and I-I can't.
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Oh. I mean, yeah. There
are a lot of jobs out there.
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Doctor, lawyer... I know there's others.
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I'm gonna be a cheesemonger.
Give me that cheese and I'll mong it.
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Based on the video we watched in class,
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it seems like most jobs are just boring?
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No offense. The restaurant is great.
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But what if I grow up and I
just am not really anything cool?
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Or exciting. What if I'm
just a boring-life person?
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You? No.
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Louise, you are never gonna
be a boring-life person.
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You know what's very not
boring to me, is sleep.
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And then helping you with this
very quickly in the morning.
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Or we get into it. I
mean, I have a good idea
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of what Louise could
be when she grows up.
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Uh, great. Can you
tell us in the morning?
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I mean, sure, it might
seem like you have
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a boring job, but that'll
just be your cover.
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So there you are,
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at your data organizing job,
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just organizing data, like
you always do. Or do you?
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Hey, Louise. A bunch of us are gonna go
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to the chicken finger
place and get shrimp.
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- Do you want to join?
- Eh. I wish I could.
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Suit yourself.
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♪ ♪
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Here's the target in Sicily.
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Our client wants it done
discreetly, but also,
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- in a sort of cool way.
- Here's your grabber, sir.
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- How's that grab you?
- Love it, sir.
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So, you go to Freddie NoGoodio's house
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and wait for him to come back
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from whatever he was
doing out on the town.
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Probably eating spaghetti
with his mistress.
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Whoa!
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Out of my way, short stuff.
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Speaking of shorts...
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Freddie, meet wedgie.
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My butt crack!
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That's right. You're
gonna be a highly skilled
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- wedgie-sassin.
- Oh.
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So you head home where you
live with your platonic friend
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and professional human
statue street performer Rudy.
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Long night at the data
organization office?
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Yeah. One data was so disorganized,
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I really had to wedge it into shape.
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Well, I'm gonna hit the hay.
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Good night, platonic
roommate and good friend.
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Good night. Oh. Got a
little paint on you. Sorry.
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No! Rudy.
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- You've been wedgied.
- That's right.
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You aren't the only highly
skilled wedgie-sassin in town.
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You have an arch-rival, and she's missing
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a few ingredients from her brain bread.
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- Millie.
- Ugh. Millie is still copying me?
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Yep, big-time. She even
copied your 401 plan.
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Anyway, as you sit by
Rudy's hospital bed...
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I never meant for this to happen to you.
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I should have told you
not to wear underwear.
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This is all my fault.
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- Mrs. Regular Sized?
- No, I'm just a friend.
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- A platonic friend and roommate.
- Of course.
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- Will he live, Doc?
- I don't know.
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Not because I used to be a dentist
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and I just became a doctor,
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but because it's more dramatic this way.
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We're trying to make the
hospital more dramatic.
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Anyway, your platonic
friend and roommate
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has the worst wedgie I've ever seen.
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His B-crack has been stretched 33%.
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I hope the authorities
find whoever did this.
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Whoever did this is hoping
I don't find them first.
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So you go to one of those places
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that all the wedgie people
know about. It looks like it's just
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some kind of arty-farty
store, but really,
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it's a cool weapons depot/fun
hangout spot in general.
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But the only art Louise is interested in
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is the art of revenge.
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- Cranberry juice?
- Not tonight.
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I have to have my wits about me.
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Yeah. Heard your platonic
roommate got wedged real bad.
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Millie went against
the wedgie-sassin code.
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- I'll take one of everything.
- The tushie tickler?
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- Yep.
- The patoot pincher?
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- Oh, yeah.
- The cheek splitter?
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Edith, I said everything.
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Okay, okay.
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I couldn't tell if you were serious
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or if you were just
doing that for effect.
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Eh, it was both.
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♪ ♪
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You want your vengeance mix, boss?
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Crank it.
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♪ ♪
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Hey. Where do you think you're going?
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I think I'm going inside.
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And you're going to cheek-ah-go.
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Oh, there's my BFF.
Want to make some friendship bracelets?
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- Or fight to the death?
- Either works for me.
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You hurt Rudy's booty.
Now I'm gonna do my duty.
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Okay, so the fighting one.
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Before we fight, I got to
know... Why'd you do it, Millie?
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Why'd you split Rudy's ham?
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I was just trying to get your attention.
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I think maybe I'd be a
more fun roommate for you.
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We could join up,
tag-team our wedgie work,
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- just have fun with it.
- Never.
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Well, then I'll just
wedgie everyone you love
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until you agree to be
my wedgie-sassin partner/
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roommate/best friend
forever for life for reals.
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Last chance, Louise.
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- Be my BFF or BFW.
- What's a BFW?
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- Best forever wedgie.
- A forever wedgie?
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That wedgie is outlawed
under the Geneva Conventions.
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Yeah, I know,
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but that's so conventional.
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- Uh-oh.
- Now, here's what's gonna happen.
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You're gonna stay away from my
platonic friends and loved ones,
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you're gonna stop copying me
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and you're gonna leave the
wedgie business for good.
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Or I give you a forever wedgie.
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Mm, I'll take the forever wedgie.
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Okay. It's your crack's funeral.
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Wait! I changed my mind.
I'll do the other stuff.
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All right. But I'm gonna
hold on to this just in case.
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C-Can we still be friends?
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Acquaintances? Or-or best
acquaintances? I love you!
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Rudy, you're awake. How's your butt?
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Doctor says it's got a
big crack down the middle.
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But it's gonna make it.
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How was your weekend?
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I went to brunch six times. I'm so full.
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Mine was pretty uneventful.
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Just... organized some data.
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- Mm-kay, bye.
- And some underwear.
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And you drink your
coffee with a little grabber,
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because, secretly, you're
a badass ass assassin.
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And your career isn't
boring at all. The end.
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Ooh! That does sound
like a pretty cool career.
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Yeah, and totally possible.
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Yeah. I-I guess.
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00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,190
Those grabbers do sound fun,
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00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:06,435
but I think it might be
pretty hard to break into
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the international wedgie
game without connections.
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So, should we... get to bed?
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Or maybe you're something even
more exciting than an assassin.
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- Okay.
- Like a teacher.
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In a school? Tina, how dare you?
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Hold on. You teach a little class
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00:07:19,943 --> 00:07:22,208
on treasure hunting in Kathmandu.
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00:07:22,228 --> 00:07:24,561
Okay. Treasure hunting. I'm listening.
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00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:27,266
So, you hunted for treasure
until you made your fortune,
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00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:29,458
and then you decided to
teach the next generation.
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But when one of the most
beautiful women in the world...
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00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:33,262
Who also has a great personality...
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00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,504
Shows up with a request
you can't refuse,
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00:07:35,574 --> 00:07:38,173
you, um... can't refuse it.
189
00:07:38,198 --> 00:07:40,554
Hi, Louisianna. It's
me, your sister, Tina.
190
00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:43,062
And this is my butler, Gene,
who looks like your brother,
191
00:07:43,082 --> 00:07:45,140
but it isn't him. Um,
this one's British.
192
00:07:45,158 --> 00:07:46,590
Anyone want some tea?
193
00:07:46,615 --> 00:07:48,379
A treasure's been lost,
and I need your help.
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00:07:48,403 --> 00:07:50,570
Tina, you know I'm retired
from treasure hunting.
195
00:07:50,589 --> 00:07:53,257
I sold all my treasure findings
and bought a bunch of candy.
196
00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:55,219
Look, I even keep an
extra-long licorice whip
197
00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:56,395
in my hat for snacking.
198
00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:59,389
But wh-what if I told you
the whole world was in danger
199
00:07:59,414 --> 00:08:01,243
because a treasure had
fallen into the wrong hands
200
00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,744
and that this artifact is probably
201
00:08:02,768 --> 00:08:04,137
the most valuable object in the world
202
00:08:04,161 --> 00:08:05,435
a-and it could also end it?
203
00:08:05,460 --> 00:08:07,012
- Sausage?
- Not now, Gene.
204
00:08:07,037 --> 00:08:09,808
Louisianna, listen, the
artifact is a certain CD
205
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:12,517
of a certain never-before-released
Boyz4Now song.
206
00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:14,093
You don't mean... But...
207
00:08:14,113 --> 00:08:16,429
that's in a vault in
the Boyz4Now Museum.
208
00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:19,061
Correction, it was there.
It got stolen a week ago.
209
00:08:19,086 --> 00:08:21,096
Oh, no. That CD of the first song
210
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,619
they ever recorded together,
211
00:08:22,644 --> 00:08:24,339
"I Kiss My Pillow and Think of You,"
212
00:08:24,364 --> 00:08:27,268
has always been considered
too exciting for human ears.
213
00:08:27,293 --> 00:08:29,496
That's right. When the
record executive heard it,
214
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,779
he pooped and peed his pants and
also barfed until he exploded.
215
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,120
So anyone who hears it...
216
00:08:34,145 --> 00:08:36,092
Will also immediately
pee and poop their pants
217
00:08:36,117 --> 00:08:37,684
and barf all at the same
time until they explode.
218
00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:38,856
Ooh, my.
219
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:41,310
If someone were to broadcast
it around the world,
220
00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:42,259
my God.
221
00:08:42,284 --> 00:08:43,116
It's diabolical.
222
00:08:43,141 --> 00:08:45,028
It's diarrhea-bolical.
223
00:08:45,053 --> 00:08:46,219
I'll get my things.
224
00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:51,529
I'm not sure we have
time for smoothies, Louise.
225
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:53,684
We're not here for
smoothies. We're here for answers.
226
00:08:53,753 --> 00:08:57,138
But, yeah, if anyone does
want a smoothie, that's fine.
227
00:08:58,114 --> 00:09:00,631
Well, isn't this a surprise.
228
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:02,271
Rudy, we need information.
229
00:09:02,296 --> 00:09:03,654
You know I got out
230
00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,289
of the information-getting
business, Louise.
231
00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:07,200
Plus, I'm mad at you from before.
232
00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:08,723
We were supposed to move in together
233
00:09:08,742 --> 00:09:10,036
as platonic roommates and friends,
234
00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:11,638
and then you ran off to Kathmandu.
235
00:09:11,663 --> 00:09:14,605
I had to break the lease,
and it broke my heart.
236
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:16,670
- Platonically.
- Sorry about that, Rudes.
237
00:09:16,716 --> 00:09:18,658
Being roommates wouldn't
have worked out anyway.
238
00:09:18,677 --> 00:09:20,493
Sometimes I sleepwalk holding a knife.
239
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,663
Roommates don't like it,
but it's perfectly safe.
240
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,997
Well, it looks like you
want information from me
241
00:09:25,092 --> 00:09:26,350
and I want you out of my joint.
242
00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:29,134
I guess we better settle
this the way we used to...
243
00:09:29,159 --> 00:09:31,730
- With a smooth-off.
- Holy crap.
244
00:09:33,966 --> 00:09:36,316
Oh, boy. This one has banana.
245
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:37,264
Chunky.
246
00:09:37,604 --> 00:09:39,512
Oh, it's too thick!
247
00:09:39,531 --> 00:09:41,067
Whoo-hoo! - Yeah!
248
00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:42,424
Ah, fine. You win.
249
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,883
- What do you want to know?
- I want to know what you know
250
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:46,497
about the
never-before-released single
251
00:09:46,521 --> 00:09:48,889
- by Boyz4Now.
- Shh! Keep your voice down.
252
00:09:48,914 --> 00:09:51,524
I heard it was in the wind,
but I didn't want to believe it.
253
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,278
Well, you can believe my sister Tina.
254
00:09:53,303 --> 00:09:55,343
She's the curator of
the Boyz4Now Museum.
255
00:09:55,381 --> 00:09:57,439
And their manager and personal masseuse.
256
00:09:57,457 --> 00:09:59,343
Well, I've heard whispers they reopened
257
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:01,554
the Cold War Disco Caves in Siberia.
258
00:10:01,579 --> 00:10:03,696
That might be connected
to the missing CD.
259
00:10:03,721 --> 00:10:06,114
Hmm. I don't suppose we could
convince you to come along?
260
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:08,392
- Think we'll be back by 6:00?
- Eh, 6:00-ish.
261
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:11,613
But I can't promise you that
you won't pee. Or poop. Or barf.
262
00:10:11,638 --> 00:10:13,563
No one can promise anyone that.
263
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,191
So you fly to Siberia.
264
00:10:15,216 --> 00:10:17,103
And just to say, what an
interesting career, huh?
265
00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:19,007
Travel, free smoothies, cool hats.
266
00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:20,194
Yeah, I guess.
267
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:21,954
So how do we find the
Cold War Disco Caves?
268
00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:23,946
Also, what is a Cold War disco cave?
269
00:10:23,984 --> 00:10:26,703
They're top secret fallout
shelters with great lighting
270
00:10:26,728 --> 00:10:29,057
and incredible acoustics where
people could still disco dance
271
00:10:29,081 --> 00:10:30,789
in the event of a nuclear war.
272
00:10:30,814 --> 00:10:32,681
We'll find 'em. We just
got to use our ears.
273
00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:34,878
Lot of ground to cover.
Better get started.
274
00:10:34,903 --> 00:10:36,402
Ah. Never mind.
275
00:10:36,422 --> 00:10:37,570
They're right below us.
276
00:10:37,589 --> 00:10:39,196
- Oh, good.
- But how do we get in?
277
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:43,242
I found a hatchy. Sorry,
you Americans say "door."
278
00:10:43,813 --> 00:10:46,223
- Wait. Booby trap.
- How do you know?
279
00:10:46,247 --> 00:10:48,098
Icicles don't grow sideways.
280
00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:50,229
- What do we do?
- We sled. Hop on.
281
00:10:50,254 --> 00:10:53,995
Oh, wait. So we just...
282
00:10:54,014 --> 00:10:55,755
Oh, good.
283
00:10:55,774 --> 00:10:58,919
You're just in time for my next dance.
284
00:10:58,944 --> 00:11:00,426
- Jimmy Jr.?
- Yeah, it's J-Ju.
285
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:03,338
Total evil mastermind.
Equally dangerous on the dance floor.
286
00:11:03,356 --> 00:11:04,592
- Hey, Tina.
- Zeke.
287
00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:06,094
Y'all want some Cold War disco snacks
288
00:11:06,118 --> 00:11:07,767
before we show you how
the world's gonna end?
289
00:11:07,786 --> 00:11:08,743
We got bean dip.
290
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,164
In England, we call it "mushy brown."
291
00:11:13,868 --> 00:11:16,211
Glad you could make it
for the big show, Tina.
292
00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:18,438
And I see you brought
along your famous sister,
293
00:11:18,463 --> 00:11:21,344
Louisianna Jones... Belcher.
294
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:22,655
- And me.
- And me.
295
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,020
Hi, I'm Rudy, owner of Rudy's Smoothies.
296
00:11:25,045 --> 00:11:26,528
- Oh, man, those are great.
- Thank you.
297
00:11:26,546 --> 00:11:29,569
Wait, Tina, Jimmy Jr.'s
the bad guy in your story?
298
00:11:29,594 --> 00:11:31,119
Yeah. I'm mad at him. He wouldn't share
299
00:11:31,143 --> 00:11:32,291
- his gum yesterday.
- Okay.
300
00:11:32,311 --> 00:11:33,793
Jimmy Jr., why are you doing this?
301
00:11:33,812 --> 00:11:35,294
You know why.
302
00:11:35,314 --> 00:11:37,296
Because you're jealous of my
completely professional massage
303
00:11:37,316 --> 00:11:40,484
and museum curation-based
relationship with the Boyz4Now?
304
00:11:40,509 --> 00:11:42,055
Yes, Tina, I am.
305
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,798
But there won't be
anything to be jealous of
306
00:11:43,823 --> 00:11:47,933
when their first single wipes
out the entire human race.
307
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,619
But the Boyz4Now will still be alive.
308
00:11:49,661 --> 00:11:50,885
Because I don't think you can explode
309
00:11:50,904 --> 00:11:52,213
from hearing your own song.
310
00:11:52,238 --> 00:11:54,571
Or they would have exploded
when they recorded it.
311
00:11:54,596 --> 00:11:55,959
It doesn't matter, Tina.
312
00:11:55,984 --> 00:11:57,264
Their reputation will be ruined.
313
00:11:57,289 --> 00:11:59,688
Because people don't
like being exploded.
314
00:11:59,713 --> 00:12:02,057
Uh, how you gonna do it?
You want to do that thing
315
00:12:02,082 --> 00:12:03,634
where you tell us your entire plan?
316
00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:06,494
Not so I have time to figure
out how to stop you or anything.
317
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,236
With pleasure.
318
00:12:08,238 --> 00:12:10,238
This transmitter can reach every TV,
319
00:12:10,257 --> 00:12:12,993
every phone, every Bluetooth
device in the world.
320
00:12:13,018 --> 00:12:14,328
And when I tell Zeke to put on
321
00:12:14,353 --> 00:12:16,439
"I Kiss My Pillow and I Think of You,"
322
00:12:16,464 --> 00:12:19,224
everyone will pee and
poop and barf and explode
323
00:12:19,249 --> 00:12:20,409
and you'll have to marry me
324
00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:23,009
because everyone else is all exploded.
325
00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:25,011
Okay. Keep saying words.
326
00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:27,733
And Zeke will hit this switch right here
327
00:12:27,758 --> 00:12:29,924
so it doesn't play in our
noise-canceling headphones
328
00:12:29,943 --> 00:12:32,055
but it does play everywhere else.
329
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,429
And Tina will put these
on so she doesn't poop,
330
00:12:34,447 --> 00:12:35,930
pee, barf and explode.
331
00:12:35,949 --> 00:12:39,019
- What about us?
- Oh, you're all gonna explode.
332
00:12:39,044 --> 00:12:40,913
- Oh, boy.
- Tina, distract him.
333
00:12:40,937 --> 00:12:42,264
Uh, hey, Jimmy Jr.,
334
00:12:42,289 --> 00:12:45,797
what if we have
appetizers at our wedding?
335
00:12:45,822 --> 00:12:49,029
Fine. Oh, and, FYI, I'll do
the couples dance by myself.
336
00:12:49,054 --> 00:12:51,290
- No offense.
- Totally. Totally.
337
00:12:51,315 --> 00:12:53,700
Zeke, let's do this. Headphones on.
338
00:12:53,725 --> 00:12:55,087
Get ready to press play.
339
00:12:55,112 --> 00:12:56,778
I'm definitely putting these on.
340
00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:57,969
Right over my ears.
341
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,677
Good. That's what I said to do.
342
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,653
- Zeke, hit it!
- Yeah!
343
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:04,625
Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
344
00:13:04,955 --> 00:13:07,704
So, in the future, I'm
gonna explode Jimmy Jr.?
345
00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:10,580
Yeah. You're gonna save the
world and explode Jimmy Jr.
346
00:13:11,052 --> 00:13:12,535
What? He didn't share his gum.
347
00:13:12,687 --> 00:13:14,037
Well, I mean, cool story, Tina,
348
00:13:14,062 --> 00:13:15,782
but I think now, if you find treasure,
349
00:13:15,806 --> 00:13:18,473
you should just give it back
to the country it came from?
350
00:13:18,475 --> 00:13:21,958
I don't know. I'm just
gonna put "data organizer,"
351
00:13:21,983 --> 00:13:26,124
"paper stamper" and "desk
sitter" on my poster and go to bed.
352
00:13:26,149 --> 00:13:27,753
I'll get an "F," because
I'm supposed to write
353
00:13:27,778 --> 00:13:31,256
about each one and provide
images and blah, blah, blah,
354
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:32,666
but at least I'll be done.
355
00:13:32,691 --> 00:13:35,967
Uh, wait. Wh-What if I have a story,
356
00:13:35,992 --> 00:13:38,411
uh, about what you do?
Maybe you're right, Louise.
357
00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:39,994
Maybe when you grow up
358
00:13:40,013 --> 00:13:41,474
you-you won't be anything special.
359
00:13:41,498 --> 00:13:43,832
- Yep, great start.
- Dad, do better.
360
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:45,500
At first. A-At first.
361
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:49,072
Maybe you will be a desk
sitter o-or a paper stamper.
362
00:13:49,097 --> 00:13:50,568
Lots of people are. And that's fine.
363
00:13:50,593 --> 00:13:53,007
But, you know, not
doing anything special
364
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,775
isn't necessarily a permanent condition.
365
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,081
Just because you stop growing
366
00:13:58,106 --> 00:14:00,801
doesn't mean you stop growing.
367
00:14:00,826 --> 00:14:02,418
Whoa. Wait, what?
368
00:14:02,443 --> 00:14:03,995
It's... Just listen.
369
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:06,294
So, you're older. You're
in your 20s, let's say.
370
00:14:06,319 --> 00:14:08,763
And let's take the
restaurant out of this.
371
00:14:08,788 --> 00:14:10,800
Maybe your mom and I close
the restaurant at some point
372
00:14:10,825 --> 00:14:13,194
- and we just, I don't know...
- Make crafts!
373
00:14:13,213 --> 00:14:14,833
And, uh, sell 'em on the Internet.
374
00:14:14,858 --> 00:14:17,767
You know, little pajamas
for candles. Right?
375
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,155
Pajamas for candles?
376
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:21,847
Yeah. Pajandles. We talked about this.
377
00:14:21,872 --> 00:14:23,740
Okay. But, anyway, uh,
378
00:14:23,765 --> 00:14:25,275
none of us work at
the restaurant anymore.
379
00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:27,133
- And you go to college.
- Community college.
380
00:14:27,152 --> 00:14:29,763
- That we can afford.
- All the boys, half the price.
381
00:14:29,788 --> 00:14:31,499
Right. Yes. A-And you don't know
382
00:14:31,524 --> 00:14:34,784
exactly what you want to do,
so you choose, uh, biology.
383
00:14:34,809 --> 00:14:36,246
Or, uh, chemistry.
384
00:14:36,271 --> 00:14:37,656
Or-or-or
biochemistry,
385
00:14:37,681 --> 00:14:40,123
because you like those
Bunsen burner thingies.
386
00:14:40,148 --> 00:14:41,557
Because of the fire.
387
00:14:41,582 --> 00:14:43,702
I do kinda like those
Bunsen burner thingies.
388
00:14:43,727 --> 00:14:45,985
But you get out of college.
389
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,722
And you land a job.
390
00:14:47,747 --> 00:14:48,730
I-In a lab.
391
00:14:48,748 --> 00:14:50,368
And it's a little boring.
392
00:14:50,393 --> 00:14:52,986
Hey, Louise. Some of us
are going to the taco place
393
00:14:53,011 --> 00:14:54,827
to get pizzas. You want to come?
394
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,611
Uh, n-no, thanks.
395
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,090
Okay! Bye or whatever.
396
00:14:59,368 --> 00:15:01,811
♪ ♪
397
00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,574
Scientists are baffled as to why,
398
00:15:05,598 --> 00:15:09,027
for the past month, no
new calves have been born.
399
00:15:09,052 --> 00:15:11,081
And, yeah, that's your life.
400
00:15:11,528 --> 00:15:13,954
♪ ♪
401
00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:21,343
Wait, I just work and eat and sleep?
402
00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:22,701
I don't have any friends?
403
00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:24,000
I mean, sure. Y-You do.
404
00:15:24,025 --> 00:15:25,934
A few. Um, you know, people from work.
405
00:15:25,952 --> 00:15:29,916
But, uh, Tina lives out of
town on her small horse farm...
406
00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:31,893
Wait, why is it small? Go big, baby.
407
00:15:31,918 --> 00:15:33,251
Sorry, Tina. It's-It...
408
00:15:33,276 --> 00:15:35,922
- Okay, so it's sort of a big horse farm.
- Yes.
409
00:15:35,946 --> 00:15:37,842
And Gene's a traveling musician.
410
00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:39,291
Each night a different city.
411
00:15:39,316 --> 00:15:40,684
Don't know where I am half the time,
412
00:15:40,708 --> 00:15:42,646
but I'm addicted to the applause.
413
00:15:42,671 --> 00:15:43,929
And we have a cool tour bus.
414
00:15:43,954 --> 00:15:45,147
With foosball.
415
00:15:45,172 --> 00:15:46,856
Yeah. And next thing you know,
416
00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,306
you're in your mid-30s.
417
00:15:48,331 --> 00:15:50,193
Trudy, the last known cow to be born,
418
00:15:50,218 --> 00:15:51,862
was placed under government protection
419
00:15:51,886 --> 00:15:53,841
after yet another kidnapping attempt.
420
00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:57,541
Scientists still haven't solved
the infertility crisis in cows
421
00:15:57,566 --> 00:15:59,968
that some are calling "Ar-moo-geddon."
422
00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:01,781
Is this like that
movie Children with Men?
423
00:16:01,805 --> 00:16:04,063
- Three Men and a Baby?
- Children of Men.
424
00:16:04,082 --> 00:16:05,208
Yes. Kind of.
425
00:16:05,233 --> 00:16:07,452
So, same job, but you got a promotion.
426
00:16:07,477 --> 00:16:10,822
You're manager of... biology things now.
427
00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:12,738
Good for you, gettin' a promotion.
428
00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:14,650
- That's my girl.
- Whoo-hoo!
429
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:16,347
It's so sad about cows, right?
430
00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:17,445
I love ice cream.
431
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,376
Me, too. And burgers.
432
00:16:19,401 --> 00:16:21,085
Wait, burgers are cows?
433
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,159
I got to go do lab stuff. Bye.
434
00:16:23,184 --> 00:16:25,000
Then your wheels start turning.
435
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,744
Pieces of a puzzle you didn't even know
436
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,821
you were working on
start falling into place.
437
00:16:28,845 --> 00:16:30,114
You've always been good at puzzles.
438
00:16:30,138 --> 00:16:32,508
To me, the biggest
puzzle is the human heart.
439
00:16:32,532 --> 00:16:35,344
And it's a good thing you're
on the case, because the Cow Crisis
440
00:16:35,368 --> 00:16:37,794
is causing turmoil all around the world.
441
00:16:37,819 --> 00:16:40,277
And you realize you need
a little help from one
442
00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:43,821
of the only people you
know for sure you can trust.
443
00:16:44,577 --> 00:16:46,171
- What the hell?
- Sorry.
444
00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:47,862
I couldn't find a small rock to throw.
445
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,617
There's a pile of
small rocks right there.
446
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:50,640
Oh. Whoops.
447
00:16:50,665 --> 00:16:52,929
Listen, I need to borrow a cow.
448
00:16:55,968 --> 00:16:58,631
- Wait, I thought I had a horse farm.
- You do. Y-You will.
449
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,483
But you also have a few cows.
450
00:17:00,508 --> 00:17:01,748
To be friends with the horses.
451
00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:04,117
And, you know, for milk. And cheese.
452
00:17:04,142 --> 00:17:05,141
Before it's gone forever.
453
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:06,523
Except for goat. And sheep.
454
00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:08,536
- And nut cheese.
- D-Don't say "nut cheese."
455
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,286
- Nut cheese. Sorry.
- Anyway,
456
00:17:10,311 --> 00:17:11,955
Tina keeps watch outside the barn door
457
00:17:11,979 --> 00:17:13,805
while you go in to work with the cow.
458
00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:16,462
Yeah, I keep watch
with my farmhand, Jimmy Jr.
459
00:17:16,487 --> 00:17:18,206
Who can't wear a shirt
because it's itchy.
460
00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:19,842
Wait, I thought you were mad at him.
461
00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:22,585
I was. But then you exploded
him and now I feel better.
462
00:17:22,789 --> 00:17:24,547
Well, why do they have to keep watch?
463
00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:26,464
- Who were they watching for?
- Oh.
464
00:17:26,489 --> 00:17:27,804
Um, all kinds of people.
465
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,737
Th-The cow thing
started a chain reaction,
466
00:17:29,739 --> 00:17:31,831
and stuff got really weird really fast.
467
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:34,166
Lot of people out of work,
worried about the future,
468
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:35,813
lot of weird political stuff going on.
469
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:38,521
Anyone doing underground cow
research was under threat,
470
00:17:38,546 --> 00:17:40,415
and that's exactly what you were doing.
471
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,773
But you're on it now.
472
00:17:41,798 --> 00:17:44,266
Your passion keeps you
working late into the night.
473
00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:45,602
And, yeah, at one
point, you were worried
474
00:17:45,627 --> 00:17:47,201
you didn't choose the right career,
475
00:17:47,226 --> 00:17:49,186
that you didn't have the
right job, but then...
476
00:17:49,211 --> 00:17:50,286
you were here.
477
00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:52,495
The right person in the right place
478
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:53,778
at the right time.
479
00:17:53,803 --> 00:17:55,534
And then you do it.
480
00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:56,741
You solve it.
481
00:17:56,766 --> 00:17:58,806
Louise, you did it!
This cow is with cow!
482
00:17:58,831 --> 00:18:00,503
But a baby. A baby cow.
483
00:18:00,528 --> 00:18:01,936
Calf. Sorry, sorry, I'm excited!
484
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,915
Uh-oh. They're here.
485
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:05,584
We can't let them take her.
486
00:18:05,609 --> 00:18:07,803
They'll just use her as a
tool in their little wars.
487
00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:10,111
So, w-wait, who are the bad guys?
488
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,082
Uh, well, you know, it's... complicated.
489
00:18:13,107 --> 00:18:16,161
And I can't remember the
movie very well, but, uh,
490
00:18:16,186 --> 00:18:18,711
you definitely can't trust
anybody except your sister.
491
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,379
What about her cool musician/
492
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,874
foosball enthusiast brother?
493
00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:23,619
Right. Well, I was just getting to that.
494
00:18:23,643 --> 00:18:25,438
We can go down here. It's my secret room
495
00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:27,100
where I keep my
porcelain horse figurines.
496
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:28,387
But there's stairs.
497
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,481
Cows can't go down stairs.
498
00:18:30,506 --> 00:18:33,136
Yes, they can. Our mom
taught us how a long time ago.
499
00:18:33,161 --> 00:18:34,066
Aw!
500
00:18:34,091 --> 00:18:36,281
Quick, everyone, give me your socks.
501
00:18:36,306 --> 00:18:38,207
They're not gonna stop coming for us.
502
00:18:38,232 --> 00:18:40,566
We need to get somewhere
safe so this calf can be born
503
00:18:40,585 --> 00:18:42,143
and I can continue my work.
504
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:45,480
Oh, Zeke captains a booze cruise
that sails out of the wharf.
505
00:18:45,505 --> 00:18:47,545
It's pretty loud and really overpriced,
506
00:18:47,570 --> 00:18:48,983
but he can help us escape.
507
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,162
How do we get to the boat?
508
00:18:50,187 --> 00:18:51,832
Well, we know someone with a bus.
509
00:18:51,857 --> 00:18:53,207
The Gene Machine?
510
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,672
Oh, man. Big fan.
511
00:18:54,824 --> 00:18:56,059
We're looking for a pregnant cow.
512
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:58,342
- You haven't seen one, have you?
- No, man!
513
00:18:58,367 --> 00:19:00,441
I'm just here to have a good time!
514
00:19:00,466 --> 00:19:02,459
Rock on, Gene.
515
00:19:02,612 --> 00:19:04,945
I can't do it any other way!
516
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:08,113
Come on, come on. Move those udders.
517
00:19:08,884 --> 00:19:12,069
No offense, but this cow
is not good at foosball.
518
00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:13,668
So you arrive at the waterfront
519
00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:15,579
and the bad guys are right behind you.
520
00:19:15,603 --> 00:19:16,844
And you don't know
this yet, but there are
521
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:19,271
bad guys right in front of you, too.
522
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,418
The calf's about to be born!
523
00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:23,185
Quick! In here!
524
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:25,439
- Oh, wow.
- And the calf is born,
525
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:26,704
thanks to you, Louise.
526
00:19:26,729 --> 00:19:28,275
And there's shooting all around you.
527
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,976
And, uh, explosions.
528
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:32,129
But when you come out,
with the little baby calf,
529
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:33,596
everything stops.
530
00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:35,305
♪ ♪
531
00:19:37,671 --> 00:19:40,535
And you get to the boat
and you finish your research
532
00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:43,181
and you figure out a
way for all the cows
533
00:19:43,206 --> 00:19:44,539
to start having babies again.
534
00:19:44,541 --> 00:19:45,631
Moo what?
535
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,208
So you basically save the world.
536
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,877
And just to say it, you
save burger restaurants, too.
537
00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:51,879
And, uh, yeah, after
you get all the awards
538
00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:53,599
and the world goes back to normal,
539
00:19:53,624 --> 00:19:55,285
you and your brother
and your sister decide
540
00:19:55,309 --> 00:19:57,458
to open the restaurant
again. Just for fun.
541
00:19:57,483 --> 00:19:59,640
But maybe we should
also do veggie burgers, right?
542
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:00,782
'Cause of all that cow stuff?
543
00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:02,990
And we sell the most beautiful fedoras.
544
00:20:03,015 --> 00:20:05,818
Sure. And you should all
pursue your own things, also.
545
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,464
So, you can write whatever you want
546
00:20:07,488 --> 00:20:08,688
on your poster board, Louise,
547
00:20:08,823 --> 00:20:09,897
but you don't have to be so worried.
548
00:20:09,899 --> 00:20:11,711
I mean, you do, a little, you know,
549
00:20:11,735 --> 00:20:13,447
because life can be tricky.
550
00:20:13,472 --> 00:20:16,656
Yes, and life can be boring sometimes.
551
00:20:16,681 --> 00:20:18,860
And not feel special sometimes.
552
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,386
But it's also fun and
exciting other times.
553
00:20:21,411 --> 00:20:23,578
And I know all three of you
are gonna do great things.
554
00:20:23,596 --> 00:20:25,407
And I can't wait to see
what those things are.
555
00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:26,650
- Ooh, I can't wait.
- Yeah.
556
00:20:26,674 --> 00:20:28,910
And a lot of it can be a surprise.
557
00:20:29,056 --> 00:20:31,297
I-I didn't know I was gonna
have my own restaurant.
558
00:20:31,322 --> 00:20:33,232
- Or three kids.
- Or that much body odor.
559
00:20:33,256 --> 00:20:35,273
No, I-I knew I'd have that, Gene.
560
00:20:35,298 --> 00:20:37,545
- It's probably genetic.
- Oh, no.
561
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,393
Okay, knuckleheads, yeesh.
562
00:20:39,418 --> 00:20:41,694
Go to bed. I got to finish my homework.
563
00:20:41,765 --> 00:20:42,925
- So, you're good?
- I'm good.
564
00:20:42,949 --> 00:20:45,449
I feel better about stuff. Thanks, guys.
565
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:46,768
Aw, you're welcome.
566
00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:48,005
Actually, Mom,
567
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:50,007
do you want to get
started on this for me
568
00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:51,751
and I'll give it a quick
look-see in the morning?
569
00:20:51,775 --> 00:20:53,576
- Sure. Hand me a marker.
- Lin, no.
570
00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,109
- Right, right.
- Fine. Never mind.
571
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,365
Oh, and I forgot to
memorize the state capitals.
572
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,042
- Mom, do your thing.
- On it. Albany.
573
00:20:59,066 --> 00:20:59,925
Oh, my God.
574
00:20:59,949 --> 00:21:01,874
♪ I kiss my pillow ♪
575
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,762
♪ And I think of you ♪
576
00:21:03,787 --> 00:21:05,787
♪ When the lights go out ♪
577
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,932
- ♪ Here's what I do ♪
- What do you do?
578
00:21:07,957 --> 00:21:10,192
♪ I softly touch my pillow's cheek ♪
579
00:21:10,217 --> 00:21:11,879
♪ We're both too
overwhelmed to speak ♪
580
00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:14,128
♪ And I'm careful
not to use my teeth ♪
581
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,221
♪ When I kiss your
cotton lips so sweet ♪
582
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:18,800
♪ Will you be this
lumpy when we meet ♪
583
00:21:18,893 --> 00:21:20,392
♪ I sure hope so ♪
584
00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:23,873
♪ At night, I give my
pillow just a little kiss ♪
585
00:21:23,898 --> 00:21:27,733
♪ All your corners are
so square and crisp ♪
586
00:21:27,752 --> 00:21:29,586
♪ I never thought I'd end up ♪
587
00:21:29,737 --> 00:21:32,600
♪ With a bed like this. ♪
588
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,726
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --