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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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So, everyone enjoying the dinner
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your father and I nicely made you?
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Don't be afraid to
shout out compliments.
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Oh, sorry. It's really good.
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- Thank you.
- It's chicken, right?
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- Yes, Tina.
- I knew it.
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Sorry, mom, I'm just still
sort of reeling from school,
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where my grape-flavored
finger pop-pet
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was cruelly taken from me!
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Yeah, you've mentioned
the finger candy thing.
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Finger pop-pet!
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Whoops. Hey.
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- No candy in class.
- But I wasn't eating it.
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Then why does it look half-eaten?
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Because I've been savoring it,
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slowly and responsibly.
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Well, I'm gonna savor doing this.
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No, no, no, no,
no, no! Not the trash, no...
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And that's why grown-ups are monsters.
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Okay. Uh, sorry about that, Louise,
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but, uh, kids, we wanted to talk to you
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- about something.
- Right.
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Are we all getting
matching jumpsuits finally?
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No.
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So, uh, starting tomorrow,
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your father and I
thought it would be good
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and also re-really fun to do chores.
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- Chores?
- Didn't we try those before
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and we were all like, "nah"?
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Uh, we're-we're gonna try it again.
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Yep, you're gonna clean the bathroom,
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vacuum the floors, dust... stuff.
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Um, are we getting a raise
in our very meager allowance
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because of these so-called chores?
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Yeah! I mean, yeah.
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No. I think the reward
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is that you are
contributing to this family.
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And learning that it's
important to pitch in
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in society and stuff like that.
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You know, we do work in the restaurant.
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Every day. For free.
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Not that any of us have called
child welfare or anything.
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Except for that one time.
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I didn't love that you did that.
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But the guy we talked to was nice.
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Oh, yeah. Todd. What's he up to?
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Where is all this chore
stuff coming from, anyway?
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- NPR?
- Well, if you must know,
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I was talking to Grandma
Gloria the other day
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and she reminded me that
they made me and Gayle
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do chores every weekend
when we were growing up.
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And she thought we should
be doing it with you kids.
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She actually thought we already were,
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and I said we tried, but
it didn't really stick
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and then she made that "hmph" sound.
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Ugh, Grandma Gloria.
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No huggies from Genie for a year.
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All right. Well, what if we
refuse to do these chores?
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- Yeah.
- Respectfully?
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Okay, well, then, I
would respectfully say
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you don't have a choice.
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- Right, Bob?
- Uh, uh, right.
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Well, then, we're going to respectfully
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stop eating our vegetables.
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Gene, Tina? Want to stop
eating your broccoli?
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But I like broccoli.
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- Tina!
- Right, sorry.
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Well, then, you are respectfully
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not getting any dessert.
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- Damn it!
- Okay, then we are respectfully
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- not doing our homework.
- Ooh.
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You're gonna play this game with Mama?
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- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, good.
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But Lin, "no TV"
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- means we don't get to watch TV.
- Show no weakness.
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- They're gonna crack.
- What if they don't crack?
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I'm worried they're not cracking.
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Mm-mmm. Nope.
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Not brushing them.
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- Mm.
- And if we get painful cavities,
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- we'll be the ones laughing.
- Yeah. Wait.
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Okay, early bedtime,
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in your room, lights out, now.
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- Nuh-uh. Not going to bed.
- Until we get tired.
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- Yeah.
- Guys.
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- I mean, never.
- Right.
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- Okay, then, no...
- What?
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- No...
- You got nothing.
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No, no Christmas ever again!
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Uh, Linda, want to have a quick chat?
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I feel like it's not going well.
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What-what if I go buy a bag of candy
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and we give them candy
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- if they do the chores?
- No, Bob.
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They should do chores
'cause we told them to
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and 'cause it'll make them
better people in society
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and all that crap, not to get candy.
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I mean, what if they turn
into little delinquents
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who won't listen to authority
and it-it ruins their lives?
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Then we'll just pretend
we don't know them?
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- Hmm. Maybe.
- Well, the kids have to go to bed.
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So, we need a cease-fire, I think.
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Okay, fine. You're right.
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Eh, we'll-we'll put a
pin in the chores thing
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and figure out a way to
make them do them tomorrow.
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Blackmail, maybe?
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Have you been writing
stuff down? I haven't.
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Kids.
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Come in here. Come on.
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- Okay.
- Hmm.
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I'm sorry about that
"no Christmas" thing.
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Come on. Come up in the bed with Mama.
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- Come on.
- Are you gonna kill us?
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No.
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Let's, uh, revisit
the chores thing later.
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Why don't we all just relax, huh?
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So tired, right?
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- No.
- Yes. Should we sing a nice song
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or tell a bedtime story? Huh?
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A bedtime story? Like
you guys used to do?
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- Back when we were children?
- Oh, yeah, Dad,
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you used to tell that story
about "Pepperoni the Sleepy Pony".
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- Oh, right.
- Aw, Pepperoni.
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Roaming the plains, looking
for a nice place to sleep.
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- And a little Pepperoni.
- Aren't we all?
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Tell that story, Bob.
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Okay. Um, I think I remember it.
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- But maybe he's not sleepy.
- And maybe he's really buff?
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But also super humble.
About how buff he is.
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- But he's still into Pepperoni.
- Uh, okay, so,
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Pepperoni the super
buff pony wanders around,
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looking for a place to, um, not sleep.
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And he ends up in a town.
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It was a small mining town
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- called W-Western-ville.
- Oh, that's good.
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And there were three
siblings that lived there,
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the Belch-earps.
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The-the Bearps.
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And they operated the town's tavern.
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The youngest ran the bar
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and the gambling side of things...
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Oh, and give me giant boots
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with huge spurs on the back.
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- And the front.
- Uh, okay, sure.
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A-and the middle one
ran the entertainment.
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And I have one
of those player pianos.
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But I can carry it around.
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You carry around a player piano?
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- Yeah, because it's cutting-edge.
- All right.
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Uh, and the oldest runs
the hotel and stables.
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Well, more of a horse hotel
that also has rooms for people.
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Right this way, sir.
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It's classy.
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And, uh, maybe there's some
nice sheriffs in this town.
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- M-married sheriffs.
- Uh, okay.
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Yeah, and they're really
great, but the townspeople
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don't listen to the sheriffs
because the townspeople
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can be big pains in the butt sometimes.
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But I thought this was supposed
to be a relaxing bedtime story?
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- Yeah, so one of the sheriffs says...
- Yeah.
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Hey, Bearps, maybe
you could try and keep
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- your area nice and clean today?
- Hmm, let me think about that.
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Oh, and also...
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But I mean,
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maybe you could, you know,
sweep up all the glass?
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Um, I think I know the
gambling business, m'Kay?
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It's read 'em and
weep, not read 'em and sweep.
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♪ And I'm not cleaning
up anything, either ♪
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♪ in the wild, wild west. ♪
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They wouldn't listen to
anything the married sheriffs said,
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who were actually a lot older
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and smarter than the townspeople,
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but still good-looking for their age.
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But there was a reason the townspeople
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didn't want to listen
to the married sheriffs.
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- No, there wasn't.
- Yes, there was.
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- Because one night...
- Hey, you're not telling the story.
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Because one night,
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after they ordered the
townspeople to go to bed...
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- Townspeople, go to bed.
- Yeah.
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- 'Cause we're the boss.
- Yeah.
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And after all the old-timey
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old west lights were out,
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the married sheriffs got on their horses
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and they rode off into the night.
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But not everyone went to bed.
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The three Bearps followed the sheriffs.
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Attaboy, Pepperoni.
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Three riders on him and he's
not even breaking a sweat.
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So buff.
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They tracked them
to the mine outside of town.
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And there, they discovered
that the married sheriffs
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were having a sneaky nighttime meeting
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with owner of the mine and
super rich guy Mr. Goldoeder.
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Hello. I was just kissing
my gold good night.
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So, how's the secret plan to
have those nitwit townspeople
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keep the place nice and tidy going?
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00:06:57,902 --> 00:07:01,065
So that Big G will be impressed
and want to buy the town,
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00:07:01,090 --> 00:07:04,926
the mine and all this land,
and we get our big payout?
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00:07:04,951 --> 00:07:07,743
Wait, what? No, the married
sheriffs are good guys.
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00:07:07,768 --> 00:07:09,408
Yeah, that's what
they want you to think.
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00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,975
It turns out their
intentions were not so good.
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- In fact, they were bad.
- No.
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And all to serve their
own greedy purposes.
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No.
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00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:20,704
We got to get rid of
the married sheriffs.
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00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:22,055
- Yep.
- The Merriffs?
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00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,344
That what I call them.
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Pepperoni likes it.
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So, the plan... The
tidy townspeople plan...
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Catch me up. How's it going?
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It's going really good.
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- It-it's not going good.
- It's not going good.
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00:07:34,656 --> 00:07:36,031
Well, you two need to get tough.
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00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,606
Maybe make an example of one of them.
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Blast 'em with your bean blaster.
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Like this. Pew!
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That's uh, the exact
rock I was aiming to hit.
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00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:45,293
I should have, uh, said that beforehand.
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00:07:45,318 --> 00:07:47,138
Anyway, everything has to be perfect
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for when Big G comes.
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00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,981
She does not approve of messy towns
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or ill-behaved townspeople.
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00:07:52,823 --> 00:07:54,406
And if Big G doesn't approve,
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then she's not gonna buy us out
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00:07:56,116 --> 00:07:57,323
and we don't get the money,
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which I know we're all big fans of.
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Don't worry, we'll make
sure Big G is happy.
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00:08:01,859 --> 00:08:03,400
What am I smelling?
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00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:06,051
Oh, that's me. I-I don't wash myself.
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00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:09,083
- That's... Okay.
- So, the townspeople had to figure out
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00:08:09,108 --> 00:08:11,981
how to get rid of the terrible,
greedy, smelly sheriffs.
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00:08:12,006 --> 00:08:14,026
What if I
just pop down to the pharmacy
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00:08:14,051 --> 00:08:16,051
and ask for drugs
that put kids to sleep?
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00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:18,067
Probably not. But maybe?
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Anyway, the three siblings had
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a secret meeting of their own.
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00:08:21,676 --> 00:08:23,841
Okay, all the townspeople chipped in.
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00:08:23,866 --> 00:08:25,699
We've got about a thousand dollars here.
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00:08:25,724 --> 00:08:28,927
Or we can offer you and your
horses a free, all expenses paid
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00:08:28,952 --> 00:08:30,660
weekend here at the inn,
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00:08:30,685 --> 00:08:32,477
which includes drinks, horse massages,
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00:08:32,502 --> 00:08:34,138
our finest pretty-clean chamber pots.
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00:08:34,163 --> 00:08:35,704
Your own personal entertainer.
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00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:37,935
♪ Look at you, using
your chamber pot. ♪
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I think we'll just take the money.
248
00:08:39,444 --> 00:08:40,444
But I like that song.
249
00:08:40,648 --> 00:08:42,778
So, how exactly does the whole
250
00:08:42,803 --> 00:08:45,073
"taking someone and leaving
them in the middle of nowhere"
251
00:08:45,098 --> 00:08:45,972
business work?
252
00:08:45,997 --> 00:08:47,455
Well, basically we just take 'em
253
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,249
and then we, uh, leave 'em
in the middle of nowhere.
254
00:08:49,274 --> 00:08:51,382
- Okay, then.
- Yup, with no money,
255
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:52,927
uncomfortable walking shoes,
256
00:08:52,952 --> 00:08:55,411
only, like, a super
small thing of sunscreen.
257
00:08:55,436 --> 00:08:57,853
- No podcasts.
- Okay, but what if then,
258
00:08:57,878 --> 00:08:59,753
one of the leave-in-
the-middle-of-nowhere guys
259
00:08:59,778 --> 00:09:00,880
starts asking some questions?
260
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:03,169
Are you sure you want to
get rid of the married sheriffs?
261
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,136
I mean, uh I haven't been here long,
but they seem nice to me.
262
00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:07,724
And-and loving, I want to say?
263
00:09:07,749 --> 00:09:10,333
Yeah, and wise. Like,
they've got all this wisdom
264
00:09:10,358 --> 00:09:12,099
to pass on about life, and the world...
265
00:09:12,124 --> 00:09:13,231
Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
266
00:09:13,256 --> 00:09:14,589
They're forcing us to do chores.
267
00:09:14,614 --> 00:09:15,932
Do what?
268
00:09:15,957 --> 00:09:17,540
No way. You guys seem like
269
00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:19,273
you work so hard all the time.
270
00:09:19,298 --> 00:09:20,381
And you're delightful.
271
00:09:20,406 --> 00:09:22,272
- I know.
- Well, I'm gonna enjoy
272
00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:23,777
leaving them in the middle of nowhere.
273
00:09:23,802 --> 00:09:25,886
And maybe only one
bathroom break on the way,
274
00:09:25,911 --> 00:09:27,411
and then, after that, we'll be like,
275
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,231
- "you got to hold it."
- Yeah.
276
00:09:29,256 --> 00:09:31,489
But if we have to go, we still stop.
277
00:09:31,514 --> 00:09:34,090
- I-I have a small bladder.
- But a big heart.
278
00:09:35,935 --> 00:09:37,495
Married sheriff Bob,
279
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,039
I think something
weird might be going on.
280
00:09:39,063 --> 00:09:41,105
Why, 'cause some
strangers threw us on a horse
281
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:42,838
- and put a blanket over us?
- Yeah.
282
00:09:42,863 --> 00:09:44,460
I'm beginning to think maybe this isn't
283
00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:46,774
about a surprise birthday
party for us at all.
284
00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:49,715
I mean, for one thing, it's not
anywhere close to our birthdays.
285
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:50,906
Yeah. Come to think of it,
286
00:09:50,931 --> 00:09:52,264
I was actually the one who said
287
00:09:52,289 --> 00:09:54,137
"is this, like, a surprise
birthday party thing?"
288
00:09:54,162 --> 00:09:55,798
And they said "sure, whatever."
289
00:09:55,823 --> 00:09:57,223
Ooh, that's bright.
290
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,956
- Where are we?
- The middle of nowhere.
291
00:09:58,981 --> 00:10:00,356
- What town is that near?
- None.
292
00:10:00,381 --> 00:10:02,256
- This is your stop.
- Aah! - Aah!
293
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:05,282
Can we have our bean blasters
back? No reason. Also,
294
00:10:05,307 --> 00:10:08,108
can you maybe give us your
bean blasters? No reason.
295
00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:09,442
- Nope.
- Fair enough.
296
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:10,867
And don't you start pleading with us
297
00:10:10,892 --> 00:10:12,453
not to leave you here
'cause we don't feel
298
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:13,891
emotionally compromised
about this at all.
299
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:16,043
Uh, please don't leave us here?
300
00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:17,276
- Dang it!
- Please!
301
00:10:17,301 --> 00:10:18,821
I'm not wearing the right bra for this.
302
00:10:18,969 --> 00:10:20,552
Sorry. Best of luck.
303
00:10:21,568 --> 00:10:23,110
Are they still looking at us?
304
00:10:23,135 --> 00:10:25,379
Uh, let me check. Yeah.
305
00:10:25,404 --> 00:10:28,388
- Do they look PO'd?
- Pretty-pretty PO'd.
306
00:10:28,513 --> 00:10:29,554
How about now?
307
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,675
- Hmm. Look still pretty upset.
- Aw, man.
308
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,053
Hey, cheer up. Let's go get you
309
00:10:34,077 --> 00:10:35,845
- a western omelet.
- Okay.
310
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:37,870
So the married sheriffs
got what they deserved.
311
00:10:37,895 --> 00:10:39,541
The end. What a great story.
312
00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:41,077
I mean, the structure's
a little all over the place...
313
00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:44,360
Up, bup, bup. That's not
the end. No, no, no. You know why?
314
00:10:44,385 --> 00:10:45,801
Because nobody's kissed yet?
315
00:10:45,838 --> 00:10:47,838
Because the married
sheriffs didn't give up.
316
00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:50,253
They weren't gonna let
those punky townspeople win.
317
00:10:50,278 --> 00:10:52,111
Not that it was about winning or losing.
318
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:55,262
No, it was. So, they started walking.
319
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,574
And they kept on walking.
320
00:10:57,599 --> 00:10:59,895
And sure, there were
some piggy back rides.
321
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,169
And then they switched.
322
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,996
Uh, yup. And-and they,
323
00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:04,104
uh, fought wolves.
324
00:11:04,129 --> 00:11:05,754
They danced with wolves,
325
00:11:05,779 --> 00:11:08,563
and they fought more
wolves because those wolves
326
00:11:08,588 --> 00:11:11,274
didn't like the fact that they
danced with those other wolves.
327
00:11:11,299 --> 00:11:13,549
Anyway, it was all to get
back to the townspeople
328
00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:14,907
to help them and watch over them.
329
00:11:15,052 --> 00:11:18,137
Oh, no, the townspeople
are having an amazing time
330
00:11:18,162 --> 00:11:20,287
and just totally taking
care of themselves.
331
00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:22,527
♪ ♪
332
00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:24,787
Yeah!
333
00:11:24,812 --> 00:11:27,063
Well, that's because they
didn't know what was coming.
334
00:11:27,088 --> 00:11:29,732
It was trouble. Real bad trouble.
335
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:30,965
The bad kind.
336
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:33,087
You naughty little nincompoops.
337
00:11:33,112 --> 00:11:35,696
You couldn't just do what
you were told, could you?
338
00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:38,347
Big G is gonna change this whole place.
339
00:11:38,372 --> 00:11:39,599
You could have been part of it.
340
00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:42,083
A wonderful, new, civilized society.
341
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:44,789
The well-mannered west,
she's gonna call it.
342
00:11:44,814 --> 00:11:46,439
And also, I'm gonna get even richer,
343
00:11:46,464 --> 00:11:48,672
which will be pretty cool.
344
00:11:48,697 --> 00:11:50,878
So, what's it gonna be? You leave town
345
00:11:50,903 --> 00:11:53,279
or my miner minions and I
346
00:11:53,304 --> 00:11:55,054
fill you full of beans.
347
00:11:55,079 --> 00:11:57,805
- In a bad way?
- In a very bad way.
348
00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,533
- Linda.
- What? Too harsh? It's a western.
349
00:12:00,558 --> 00:12:03,080
Don't you make me
scared of beans, woman!
350
00:12:05,619 --> 00:12:08,502
So, the townspeople... Who
could have avoided all this
351
00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:10,235
by just listening to the sheriffs
352
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:11,468
and cleaning up the place,
353
00:12:11,493 --> 00:12:14,152
but no... Now they were staring down
354
00:12:14,177 --> 00:12:17,078
the bean blaster
barrels of Mr. Goldoeder
355
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,861
and his miner minions.
It was a standoff.
356
00:12:19,886 --> 00:12:23,786
- They were so standoffish. Sorry.
- Standoff music.
357
00:12:23,935 --> 00:12:26,686
♪ ♪
358
00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:41,554
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
359
00:12:41,579 --> 00:12:43,287
- Whoa!
- Stop, stop, stop.
360
00:12:43,312 --> 00:12:44,390
We're here to protect you.
361
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,873
Who? Me? That's nice.
362
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,670
- No, them.
- Oh, boo.
363
00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:49,395
Also, water would be great.
364
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,195
Anyone have water? Uh, I-I'll ask later.
365
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,024
Wait, wait, wait.
366
00:12:53,049 --> 00:12:53,923
Why should we trust you?
367
00:12:54,111 --> 00:12:55,485
- Because.
- Because why?
368
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,090
Because we're the sheriffs and
it's our job to protect you.
369
00:12:58,115 --> 00:13:00,324
But how do we know you're
not just out for yourself,
370
00:13:00,349 --> 00:13:02,681
working with Goldoeder
to get your big payday
371
00:13:02,706 --> 00:13:03,868
by impressing Big G?
372
00:13:03,893 --> 00:13:05,226
Okay, yeah, maybe we wanted
373
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,709
to impress Big G a
little bit. So sue us.
374
00:13:07,806 --> 00:13:09,180
Not that this town has a lawyer.
375
00:13:09,284 --> 00:13:10,958
- I'm a lawyer.
- Oh, you are?
376
00:13:10,983 --> 00:13:13,108
Yup. Personal injury, mostly.
377
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,004
- Oh, uh, great.
- A little tax law.
378
00:13:15,029 --> 00:13:16,274
- Okay, yeah, I got it.
- Yup.
379
00:13:16,299 --> 00:13:17,798
Anyway, what if doing chores
380
00:13:17,823 --> 00:13:19,156
was actually good for you?
381
00:13:19,242 --> 00:13:21,617
Huh? Did you ever think
about that, you punks?
382
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:22,785
That-that we love.
383
00:13:22,954 --> 00:13:25,371
Maybe making you do
chores is protecting you.
384
00:13:25,396 --> 00:13:27,357
From being delinquents. Ugh!
385
00:13:27,382 --> 00:13:30,091
- Why didn't you just listen to us?
- Now!
386
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,920
- Aah!
- Huh? - Hey!
387
00:13:33,107 --> 00:13:35,483
See? That's what happens
when we listen to you...
388
00:13:35,508 --> 00:13:38,296
We get all distracted and we
get our bean blasters stolen.
389
00:13:38,321 --> 00:13:40,387
Damn it! Mine tied my
whole outfit together.
390
00:13:40,412 --> 00:13:42,365
But then married
sheriff Linda said...
391
00:13:42,390 --> 00:13:44,969
Well, you can't bean
blast all of us, Goldoeder.
392
00:13:44,994 --> 00:13:47,245
For one thing, it would
be a big beany mess,
393
00:13:47,270 --> 00:13:49,228
and you know Big G doesn't like messes.
394
00:13:49,253 --> 00:13:50,540
That's true. Dang it.
395
00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:51,750
But then he had an idea.
396
00:13:51,774 --> 00:13:53,774
I have an idea. Let's have some fun.
397
00:13:53,961 --> 00:13:54,835
- Yay!
- Yay!
398
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:56,360
Bearps? Married sheriffs?
399
00:13:56,385 --> 00:13:57,922
How about a quick draw contest?
400
00:13:57,947 --> 00:14:01,028
Each round is two people,
two beans. Best shot wins.
401
00:14:01,053 --> 00:14:02,510
And the winner of the whole thing
402
00:14:02,535 --> 00:14:05,155
gets to decide who stays and who goes.
403
00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:06,847
Oh, and also, I'm entering
404
00:14:06,872 --> 00:14:08,664
and I'm an amazing shot.
405
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:09,771
Pew!
406
00:14:10,062 --> 00:14:13,563
Yup, that's... the one
I was trying to hit.
407
00:14:13,588 --> 00:14:15,045
And I did.
408
00:14:15,214 --> 00:14:16,774
Whoa, whoa, whoa, the sheriffs would not
409
00:14:16,799 --> 00:14:19,045
get into a quick draw
contest with their own people.
410
00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:21,612
Also, Louise, this sounds a lot like
411
00:14:21,637 --> 00:14:23,178
the movie "The Quick and the Dead".
412
00:14:23,203 --> 00:14:25,283
Which came first,
the movie or this story?
413
00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:26,780
Uh, the movie.
414
00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,078
So, is it like a rom-com, or...
415
00:14:28,102 --> 00:14:29,677
Have you seen that movie, Louise?
416
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,747
Only, like, the parts they showed on TV.
417
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:33,439
While you were asleep on the couch,
418
00:14:33,464 --> 00:14:35,005
when I watched the whole movie.
419
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,586
Anyway, of course the
sheriffs would do it
420
00:14:36,611 --> 00:14:38,690
because, deep down, they
knew it was the only way
421
00:14:38,715 --> 00:14:40,256
to prove who's boss of this town.
422
00:14:40,383 --> 00:14:42,049
- No, I don't think so.
- She's right.
423
00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:43,635
- What?
- They got to do the bean blaster
424
00:14:43,659 --> 00:14:45,511
competition thingy to show who's boss.
425
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:46,910
And sheriff Bob and sheriff Linda
426
00:14:47,038 --> 00:14:47,828
somehow both win, the end.
427
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,288
Dut, ba, dut-dut-dut-dut!
428
00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:50,891
So, the contest began.
429
00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:53,959
First up, married
sheriff Bob vs. Louise.
430
00:14:53,984 --> 00:14:56,192
And please enjoy my tiny hat.
431
00:14:56,292 --> 00:14:57,499
A baby gave it to me.
432
00:14:57,524 --> 00:15:00,429
Just kidding, I had it made. By a baby.
433
00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:04,935
You're going down.
434
00:15:05,260 --> 00:15:07,510
Uh, can I go against someone else?
435
00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:10,244
Maybe someone, uh, less i-intimidating?
436
00:15:10,269 --> 00:15:11,245
Maybe the lawyer?
437
00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:12,561
- Hey.
- Nope.
438
00:15:12,693 --> 00:15:14,818
Okay, I-I just...
439
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:18,544
My butt's out, isn't it?
440
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,277
- It is.
- Disgusting!
441
00:15:20,302 --> 00:15:21,672
Well, that's not fair.
442
00:15:21,697 --> 00:15:23,883
Also, Louise, why would
my butt flap be open?
443
00:15:23,908 --> 00:15:25,032
Wouldn't it be closed?
444
00:15:25,117 --> 00:15:26,825
Oh, they don't invent closing butt flaps
445
00:15:26,911 --> 00:15:27,993
for another 50 years.
446
00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:29,239
Everybody, just listen.
447
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:30,474
Mom, I didn't get to the part
448
00:15:30,498 --> 00:15:31,725
where you shoot gene's belt off
449
00:15:31,749 --> 00:15:33,666
- and his butt is hanging out.
- Nice.
450
00:15:33,811 --> 00:15:37,396
Why?! Why?! No!
451
00:15:37,421 --> 00:15:39,129
Ashes to ashes.
452
00:15:39,365 --> 00:15:41,073
Butt to butt.
453
00:15:41,903 --> 00:15:42,943
Wait. Did I die?
454
00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,589
No, you were just being dramatic.
455
00:15:44,614 --> 00:15:45,738
Got it. Continue.
456
00:15:45,763 --> 00:15:47,554
How did I do, Louise? Pretty good?
457
00:15:48,641 --> 00:15:51,847
Get ready for me to,
um, shoot you with...
458
00:15:51,872 --> 00:15:53,621
Oh, you won.
459
00:15:53,646 --> 00:15:54,640
So, not great.
460
00:15:54,665 --> 00:15:55,665
Then it was time
461
00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:57,189
to find out who would face off
462
00:15:57,214 --> 00:15:58,567
with Goldoeder in the final round.
463
00:15:58,592 --> 00:15:59,819
And that's when Goldoeder decided
464
00:15:59,844 --> 00:16:01,564
to make it more interesting.
465
00:16:01,589 --> 00:16:03,005
Let's make it more interesting.
466
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,341
Now that we're down to the real-deal
467
00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:06,138
head honchos around here,
468
00:16:06,163 --> 00:16:08,678
why don't we switch
to the real-deal bean.
469
00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:10,971
Lima.
470
00:16:10,996 --> 00:16:12,788
You can't be serious.
471
00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:17,826
But Lima beans are huge.
And they hurt like hell.
472
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,443
And they taste okay at best.
473
00:16:19,468 --> 00:16:21,524
I mean, if you sauté them
with a little butter...
474
00:16:21,549 --> 00:16:22,631
- Bob, shush.
- Dad, shh.
475
00:16:22,656 --> 00:16:24,296
- Sorry.
- And married sheriff Linda said...
476
00:16:24,321 --> 00:16:27,363
I can't believe you're about
to blast me with a Lima bean.
477
00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:28,644
And Louise said...
478
00:16:28,669 --> 00:16:29,911
I can't believe you're about to
479
00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:31,367
blast me with a Lima bean.
480
00:16:31,392 --> 00:16:33,976
Just do the frickin' chores.
481
00:16:34,001 --> 00:16:36,082
No frickin' way.
482
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:39,887
Aah! Why can't you just do
something when I ask you to?
483
00:16:39,912 --> 00:16:42,438
I'm in charge and I
know what's best for you.
484
00:16:42,463 --> 00:16:44,730
It's like you don't respect me at all,
485
00:16:44,755 --> 00:16:47,174
even though everything
I do, I do it for you.
486
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:49,992
- Okay, Bryan Adams.
- Sorry. Not doing them.
487
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:53,157
Ugh! It's so frustrating!
488
00:16:53,182 --> 00:16:54,807
You know what? Forget it.
489
00:16:54,832 --> 00:16:57,465
Forget everything, I don't
care. I don't care what you do.
490
00:16:58,627 --> 00:17:02,375
Are you crying? During
a quick draw competition?
491
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,090
No, I'm fine.
492
00:17:04,115 --> 00:17:07,348
Just, I'm in charge
and I'm fine. I'm fine.
493
00:17:07,373 --> 00:17:11,866
Uh-oh. Uh, hey, everyone, uh,
look at, uh, Pepperoni the pony.
494
00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:16,268
- So hot.
- It's not all about you, Pepperoni.
495
00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:17,936
It's not...
496
00:17:17,961 --> 00:17:20,921
Uh, do I... win?
497
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,335
Is mom okay? I'm only asking
498
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,137
'cause she ran out of the room crying.
499
00:17:28,162 --> 00:17:29,569
Maybe it's part of her
nightly beauty regimen
500
00:17:29,594 --> 00:17:31,215
that we just aren't aware of.
501
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,280
If it works, it works.
502
00:17:32,366 --> 00:17:34,589
I'm gonna, uh, go talk to her.
503
00:17:34,614 --> 00:17:37,763
- Or maybe I go?
- Oh. Uh, okay.
504
00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:41,475
So, anybody have any fun weekend plans?
505
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,624
- No.
- Okay.
506
00:17:42,955 --> 00:17:44,580
Uh, mom?
507
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,451
Hi. I'm fine.
508
00:17:46,476 --> 00:17:50,150
I just needed to fart,
so I ran out here to fart.
509
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,590
And I'm-I'm not crying,
510
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:55,282
even though it's really
cool for moms to get angry
511
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:57,021
and frustrated and cry
in front of their kids.
512
00:17:57,046 --> 00:17:59,630
I'm sorry I made you not cry.
513
00:17:59,655 --> 00:18:01,208
Now I feel like a jerk.
514
00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:02,816
I just... it's not easy
515
00:18:02,841 --> 00:18:04,130
having someone bigger than you
516
00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:05,521
telling you what to do all the time.
517
00:18:05,546 --> 00:18:07,248
And then that thing at school,
518
00:18:07,273 --> 00:18:09,774
Labonz taking my
beautiful finger pop-pet.
519
00:18:09,991 --> 00:18:12,451
You, uh, you caught me at a bad time.
520
00:18:12,476 --> 00:18:14,029
I know, I know.
521
00:18:14,054 --> 00:18:16,388
But I just had that
phone call with Grandma
522
00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:18,724
and her whole chores
spiel got in my head.
523
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,552
So let's call it all Grandma's fault.
524
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,035
No, we love Grandma.
525
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,060
But, yes, sort of.
526
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,919
Also, I mean, one of our chores
527
00:18:24,944 --> 00:18:26,402
was to light Grandpa's cigars.
528
00:18:26,427 --> 00:18:28,219
Like, in our mouths, so...
529
00:18:28,244 --> 00:18:29,451
I can still taste it.
530
00:18:29,584 --> 00:18:31,125
So, maybe she's not mother of the year.
531
00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:32,333
Well, now she sounds great.
532
00:18:32,441 --> 00:18:33,857
It's just, you know...
533
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:35,588
It's been so much pressure
534
00:18:35,613 --> 00:18:38,155
trying to raise good kids. Good humans.
535
00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:40,828
It can mess you up. And
then I get mad at you guys,
536
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,227
but you're just being kids.
537
00:18:42,252 --> 00:18:43,709
It's-it's just...
538
00:18:43,936 --> 00:18:45,144
You know, it's just a lot.
539
00:18:45,169 --> 00:18:47,419
Mostly 'cause of Tina, right? And Gene?
540
00:18:47,555 --> 00:18:48,596
Come here, you.
541
00:18:48,822 --> 00:18:51,155
You know, I'm glad you're so spunky.
542
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:52,616
It'll be good for you when you're older.
543
00:18:52,687 --> 00:18:54,687
Nobody's gonna push my Louise around.
544
00:18:54,712 --> 00:18:56,963
You'll be the toughest
little cutie in prison.
545
00:18:56,988 --> 00:18:58,090
- Thanks, mom.
- And I'm still gonna try
546
00:18:58,115 --> 00:19:00,068
- to make you do chores.
- Mmm, never.
547
00:19:00,093 --> 00:19:01,592
- What if I give you candy?
- Deal.
548
00:19:01,617 --> 00:19:03,242
Maybe some of those finger blasters?
549
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,267
Finger pop-pets.
550
00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:05,750
The candy thing was my idea.
551
00:19:05,775 --> 00:19:07,086
I'd clean the crap out of
this place for some candy.
552
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:09,111
As usual, candy solves everything.
553
00:19:09,136 --> 00:19:10,446
Now can we go back to mom and dad's bed
554
00:19:10,471 --> 00:19:12,576
and finish the story? I need to know
555
00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:14,333
what happens to that
intriguing piano player.
556
00:19:14,358 --> 00:19:16,233
Does he ever play Coachella?
557
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:17,927
Oh, hurry it up already.
558
00:19:17,952 --> 00:19:19,138
I need to go home and wash these miners
559
00:19:19,163 --> 00:19:21,224
before tomorrow. They're filthy.
560
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:25,790
What the...
561
00:19:25,815 --> 00:19:27,755
Yeah, we're on the same side now.
562
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:28,919
Yeah, deal with it.
563
00:19:28,944 --> 00:19:30,349
- Yay!
- Same sidesies!
564
00:19:30,374 --> 00:19:32,249
Oh, whatever. I'll just bean you both.
565
00:19:32,284 --> 00:19:34,076
Could you stand just next to each other?
566
00:19:34,101 --> 00:19:35,787
And-and also stand closer to me?
567
00:19:35,812 --> 00:19:37,061
What is going on?
568
00:19:37,086 --> 00:19:39,336
Oh, Big G. When did you get here?
569
00:19:39,361 --> 00:19:40,361
Just now.
570
00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:42,513
I took a coach from the train station.
571
00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:45,414
The driver was very rough with my bags,
572
00:19:45,439 --> 00:19:47,939
and his horses were way too loud.
573
00:19:47,964 --> 00:19:49,964
Oh, sorry to hear that.
574
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,771
Well, everything's fine, Big G.
575
00:19:51,796 --> 00:19:54,964
Just gonna get rid of all these
naughty townspeople real quick
576
00:19:54,989 --> 00:19:56,113
and then I can take you
577
00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:58,347
on a fun tour. FYI, the married sheriffs
578
00:19:58,372 --> 00:19:59,740
are not cool anymore.
579
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:03,683
Ech. Is nobody doing
any chores around here?
580
00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:05,427
I do not approve.
581
00:20:05,452 --> 00:20:08,771
Well, guess what? That's fine.
You don't have to approve of it.
582
00:20:08,796 --> 00:20:10,838
Yeah. Agree to disapprove.
583
00:20:10,863 --> 00:20:12,990
This is our town. These are our people.
584
00:20:13,015 --> 00:20:15,983
And that tart, onion-y
odor is our smell.
585
00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:18,050
And sure, us sheriffs may not always do
586
00:20:18,075 --> 00:20:20,909
what we're supposed to do,
but we do what we need to do.
587
00:20:20,934 --> 00:20:22,323
For the good of this town.
588
00:20:22,348 --> 00:20:23,764
And I'm gonna be a better sheriff
589
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,205
if I listen to my gut,
590
00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:28,064
and not someone else's gut
who doesn't even live here.
591
00:20:28,089 --> 00:20:30,708
And right now, my gut is telling me
592
00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:32,399
back off, Big G.
593
00:20:33,604 --> 00:20:35,584
- Aah!
- Wait, there's a cannon?
594
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,404
And I ride it, somehow?
595
00:20:37,429 --> 00:20:40,232
- Yeah, a bean cannon.
- And it's rolling on its own?
596
00:20:40,257 --> 00:20:41,697
Well, that's how some cannons
597
00:20:41,722 --> 00:20:43,122
worked back then, I'm pretty sure.
598
00:20:43,147 --> 00:20:45,004
- Psst, hey.
- Should we move them?
599
00:20:45,029 --> 00:20:46,487
No, they look so sweet.
600
00:20:46,692 --> 00:20:47,900
We can all fit, right?
601
00:20:47,925 --> 00:20:50,607
Yep. Half my body is
probably fine just floating.
602
00:20:50,632 --> 00:20:53,424
Wait, you forgot something.
603
00:20:53,449 --> 00:20:55,323
- Yeah.
- Oh, right.
604
00:20:57,278 --> 00:20:59,570
This is some good Pepperoni.
605
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,701
♪ Ah, Pepperoni roamin' the plains ♪
606
00:21:03,726 --> 00:21:06,982
♪ Yes, sir, he's one handsome pony ♪
607
00:21:07,007 --> 00:21:08,563
♪ One handsome pony ♪
608
00:21:08,686 --> 00:21:11,228
♪ Looks like he found some Pepperoni ♪
609
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,916
♪ He's super buff and super humble ♪
610
00:21:13,941 --> 00:21:17,567
♪ The only thing hotter than
his muscles are his morals ♪
611
00:21:17,592 --> 00:21:19,213
♪ He's got hard morals ♪
612
00:21:19,238 --> 00:21:22,197
♪ Go on and look at him
flexing his pectorals ♪
613
00:21:22,222 --> 00:21:25,641
- ♪ Ah, come on, Pepperoni ♪
- ♪ No sliced ham ♪
614
00:21:25,828 --> 00:21:29,204
- ♪ or baloney ♪
- ♪ Don't want no ham or more baloney ♪
615
00:21:29,229 --> 00:21:32,329
♪ Sure hope he finds more Pepperoni. ♪
616
00:21:32,354 --> 00:21:37,352
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --