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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Ugh. I can't believe I'm doing
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math homework on a Saturday.
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I should be enjoying my
precious childhood right now.
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Yeah, you should be toiling away in
your family's restaurant, like us.
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Yeah Gene, hurry up and
finish your homework,
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- so you can get in on this.
- Dang it.
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- I think I need help.
- Oh.
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- From someone here?
- Four!
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Or maybe you just need encouragement?
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- You can do it, Gene.
- What's the question?
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It's a percentage thing, but
there's a lot of retail talk.
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It says, "A hat salesman
named Peter sells two hats
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every 20 minutes for $29 each."
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Uh, wait, I need to write this
down. Um, two hats, 20 minutes.
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"And the store is open from
10:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m.,
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"but on Wednesdays, he sells
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- eight times the amount of hats."
- Wednesday...
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-"What percentage of weekly hat sales"
-Um, eight times the amount
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- "does Peter make on a Tuesday?"
- of hats...
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Oh... God. What do you have so far?
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I just wrote down
"Peter divided by hats."
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I don't think the answer
is Peter divided by hats.
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- Hats divided by Peter?
- Um, hang on.
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Let's see if we can figure this out.
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Um, I-I was... really
bad at math in school.
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But you're good at it now?
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Oh, Teddy's calling.
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I will of course, uh,
be able to help you
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after I talk to Teddy, but maybe
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your mom or Tina can get you started.
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Uh, bye.
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Okay, what kind of hats
are we talking about?
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Hey, Teddy.
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Bob, calm down. Everything is fine.
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- What?
- Ah, I'm gonna be okay, Bob.
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We're-we're gonna get through this.
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Teddy, Teddy, what's going on?
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I'm-I'm kind of stuck, in a place.
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- You're stuck? Where?
- Underground.
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What? Do you need me to call 911?
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No. I-I just need you to maybe
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come and get me out of here
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so I can finish the job I'm working on.
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Me get you out? G-Get you out of where?
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I'm stuck inside a safe
in a survival bunker.
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Uh, Teddy, everything
you're saying sounds crazy
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and like I should probably
definitely call for help.
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No! Don't do that.
If this job goes well,
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I could become this
guy's go-to handy-person.
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But right now, it's-it's
not going that well.
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- Because you're stuck in a safe?
- Because I'm stuck in a safe.
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I'm so sorry to ask, I-I'm
sure you're medium-busy
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with whatever you do, but
if you could just come and
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- let me out, that would be,
- Wait a minute,
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what-what do you mean whatever I do?
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Well, I know sometimes you
stand around the kitchen
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and you're not doing anything,
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- you're just kind of staring off...
- Well, that's not the...
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Well, look, let's focus on
what's going on with y...
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I'm not saying you're doing that now,
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- I'm just saying, sometimes...
- Okay, Teddy, where are you?
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That's the thing. I-I
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- don't really know.
- What do you mean?
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Well, I drove out to a parking lot
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next to a gas station on
Main Street in Oakville,
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then I got into his truck
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and then he blindfolded
me on the way here.
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- He blindfolded you?
- Yeah.
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- Teddy, who is this guy?
- Gerald. He hired me to build
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a false wall in the back
of his safe in his bunker,
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so when you open the
safe, it looks empty.
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And then you open a
secret door in the back,
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and that's where he can hide
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his vintage candy dispenser collection.
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He doesn't trust his mom,
but they love each other.
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- Long story.
- Okay.
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Last week, he hired me to
do a job at his other house,
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his place in town, but it
turns out it was a loyalty test.
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A loyalty test?
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He said he wanted new hardware
on his drawers in his kitchen.
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So, I go to his place,
walks me into his kitchen,
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and then he says he has
to head out for a bit.
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I open up the first drawer
to start working on it,
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and there's a sandwich sitting in there.
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There was a sandwich in the drawer?
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Yeah. I really want
to eat it, but I don't.
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- Hm. Mm-hmm.
- Then I open the second drawer
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and there's a piece of cake in there,
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- but I don't eat that either.
- Yup.
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I open the last drawer,
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and it's stuffed with cash.
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- Um, I...
- Anyway,
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I didn't take any of the money.
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And I guess he did this to,
like, two guys before me,
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and they ate the
sandwich, like, right away,
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and then finished off the cake
and they took some of the cash.
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So they failed the test.
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I-I don't understand
just eating a sandwich
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you find in a drawer.
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It's a free roast beef sandwich, Bob.
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- But it was in a drawer. I, uh...
- Bob, please.
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This guy is pretty rich.
It'd be nice to work for him.
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But he can't know that
I got myself stuck.
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I'll-I'll get fired.
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He said he'd be back in a
few hours to check on me.
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Wait, how-how did you get stuck?
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Did you lock yourself inside?
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Well, you can't really
lock yourself inside.
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There's a release, but
I accidentally discovered
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a different way to get stuck.
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See, I brought down a bunch of
heavy sheet metal, a sheet-load.
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They sell them in sheet-loads.
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- Uh-huh.
- And I bought a little too much
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'cause I wanted to be prepared. Anyway,
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the extra sheet metal was
leaning against a chair,
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but I guess it was a rocking chair,
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and the sheet metal must
have toppled over, and now
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it's pinning the door closed real good.
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Like, real good. I-I gave
it everything I had, Bob.
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I almost threw my shoulder out.
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It is not budging.
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And you're sure your
phone can't just, like,
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tell us where you are?
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Gerald made me erase all my map apps
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and a-a bunch of other
apps before I came here.
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Can you download them again?
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I tried. Nothing will download.
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I'm lucky I have enough
signal to get through to you.
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- Mm.
- So you just have to somehow find me,
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move the sheet metal, and
then I can get out of here.
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Teddy, I feel like anybody
would be better at this than me.
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No, Bob, you're-you're
the guy for this.
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- You're the smartest guy I know.
- Teddy, I couldn't even
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help my 11-year-old
with his homework.
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Gene was doing homework? That's new.
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Please can-can we just call a, like,
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a pr-a professional
person... getter-outer?
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911 people? They-they
do this kind of thing.
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- I don't.
- No, no, no, no, no.
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It has to be you, Bob.
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I need this Gerald
connection. We're not all
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economically comfortable like you are.
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Teddy, I'm not... Okay.
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- All right, I'll-I'll try.
- You will?
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Thank you, Bob. Thank you so much.
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Also, I should tell you that my phone
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is almost out of battery life.
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- What?!
- Yeah.
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Why'd you tell me the whole long story
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about the sandwich in the drawer
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if you're running out
of battery in a safe?
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- Context.
- Okay, just hang up.
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I'm gonna tell my family
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about this very normal
thing I'm about to do.
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- Oh, you're listening.
- And I'm coming with you.
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I have a certain set of
skills. I will find him.
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Yeah, I want to help
rescue Teddy from a safe.
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Me too. And after we save him,
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we can all go out for dumplings.
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No, wait... fudge.
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Kids, it's nice you
want to come, but, uh,
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I don't think this is even
really safe for me to do.
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Uh, I can't bring you. I-I'm sorry.
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That is ridiculous.
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We never get to rescue
anyone from inside a safe.
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Bob, did you say goodbye?
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- I couldn't hear you.
- Teddy, hang up.
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Yup. Sorry. Hanging up. Miss you.
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See you soon. Got to go.
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Okay, Teddy, I'm here.
Uh, I'm at the lot.
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I-I see your truck.
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This still seems like a terrible idea,
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but if I'm gonna have
any chance of finding you,
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you need to tell me
everything you remember
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about your drive with Gerald.
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And talk fast 'cause I
don't know how much battery
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you have left.
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Uh, like, 20%? No, wait, 15%.
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That's not as good as 20%.
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- See how smart you are, Bob?
- Just talk, Teddy.
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So, I got in his truck
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and he blindfolded me,
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and not in a scary way. I-I
mean, I was a little scared,
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but it's fine. I'm fine.
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Mm. Do you remember
which way you turned out
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- of the parking lot?
- Uh, I'm pretty sure we made a right.
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Uh, all right. What else?
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Hm, let's see, uh, he was
listening to the radio. Oldies.
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That song "Judy in Disguise" came on
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as we pulled out of the parking lot,
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and he was kind of singing
along. You know that song?
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Uh, I don't. Uh, keep going,
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but try to say more helpful things.
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- Not about music.
- Right. Uh, I think we were on
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a normal road at the
beginning 'cause it was smooth.
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- You know, like a road.
- Okay.
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Yeah, but then,
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I think we turned right again,
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and it got really bumpy,
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and the chorus of the song came on,
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and it made Gerald's voice sound crazy.
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Like, uh, ♪ Judy in disguise ♪
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- ♪ With glasses. ♪
- Mm-hmm. Okay, anything else?
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It-it doesn't have to be
about that song at all.
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Oh, at some point, Gerald put on
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this really nice aftershave.
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While he was driving?
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Yeah, he must've opened a bottle of it
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and splashed it on his face.
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Okay. That's odd.
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Well, whatever it was, all of a sudden,
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the inside of the truck
smelled incredible.
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And then, like, right
after the aftershave,
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he parked, and then he
let me out of the truck,
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and he walked me through a yard
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to a staircase and down into the bunker.
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Uh, okay, so you turned
right and then right again
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and then Gerald was
singing "Judy in Disguise."
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- Yup.
- And then he put on aftershave.
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- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
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- Oh! Wait!
- What?
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What-what if I download that song
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and start driving and when
they sing the glasses part,
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I look for a bumpy road on the right
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and turn onto it?
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Unbelievable. That's so smart.
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The song will be like a road map.
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So the song turns out to be
pretty helpful information.
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You made it sound like it wasn't.
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Sorry, yes, it was helpful information.
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Uh, okay. I'm gonna download the song.
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I-I think my phone does that.
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And then and then I'll
call you right back.
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Okay, I'm gonna download it, too.
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I-I want to listen to it.
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Damn, I can't do that. Not enough bars.
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Uh-oh. I'm down to
nine percent, Bobby.
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Okay, hang up. Y-You
have to save your battery.
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Right, right, but do you
want me to stay on the line
241
00:07:51,479 --> 00:07:53,298
and walk you through
the download process?
242
00:07:53,323 --> 00:07:54,441
No, Teddy. Hang up.
243
00:07:54,466 --> 00:07:56,267
You just seemed nervous
about the downloading.
244
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:57,536
Hang the... up, Teddy.
245
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,594
What? You're breaking up.
246
00:07:58,661 --> 00:07:59,796
Bob? Bob?
247
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,273
Bob? Oh, you're gone.
248
00:08:01,298 --> 00:08:03,132
Good thing I'm not claustrophobic.
249
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,000
Or am I? Eh...
250
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,286
I just realized I'm claustrophobic.
251
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:09,235
Aah! I'm claustrophobic!
252
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:11,014
Okay, I'm stopping with
the math. I'm angry at it
253
00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:13,477
and I think I'm gonna give it
the silent treatment for a while
254
00:08:13,502 --> 00:08:15,024
and see if that works.
255
00:08:15,049 --> 00:08:16,788
Hi. Welcome to Bob's Burgers.
256
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:18,965
- Oh, good, you're not busy.
- That's our slogan.
257
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:21,158
Hang on a second.
They're wide open in here!
258
00:08:21,183 --> 00:08:22,470
Yeah!
259
00:08:22,495 --> 00:08:25,372
We just won the Over-40 Co-ed Rec
League Basketball tournament.
260
00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:27,683
- Yeah, we did!
- Right on, right on.
261
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,110
We're celebrating and we're starving.
262
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,145
Over 40 and still sporty. I love it.
263
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:33,438
Take some menus. Sit anywhere.
264
00:08:33,463 --> 00:08:35,627
- I'll get some fries, maybe.
- Yeah.
265
00:08:35,652 --> 00:08:38,535
Um, quick family meeting
in the kitchen, please?
266
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:39,911
I think the stars are aligning.
267
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,772
Dad is gone. Seven
hungry customers walk in.
268
00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:45,112
I think the day has finally come.
269
00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:47,039
- We pick a new lover for Mom?
- No.
270
00:08:47,064 --> 00:08:48,929
- Boo.
- We sell them on the greatest,
271
00:08:48,954 --> 00:08:51,556
biggest, most exciting
form of group celebration...
272
00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:53,291
the Beef-hemoth.
273
00:08:53,316 --> 00:08:55,519
- Oh, my God. Yes.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
274
00:08:55,544 --> 00:08:56,561
Oh, boy.
275
00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:58,455
- The Beef-hemoth!
- Yes!
276
00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,765
Aka Beef-alo Bill.
277
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,924
Aka the Patty the Size of Cincinnati.
278
00:09:01,949 --> 00:09:04,236
Whatever you call it,
it's the burger that breaks
279
00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:06,820
the world record for
biggest burger ever.
280
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:08,992
What do you say? Should we
make some dreams come true?
281
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:11,329
Uh, your dad never loved that dream.
282
00:09:11,354 --> 00:09:14,257
- Because he's a hater.
- And probably so jealous.
283
00:09:14,282 --> 00:09:15,659
Also, I don't think you're gonna break
284
00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:17,302
the world record. Just looking up...
285
00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:19,095
Yup. You're not gonna
break the world record.
286
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,322
- Another hater.
- Stop that.
287
00:09:20,430 --> 00:09:21,841
And nobody's gonna be able to finish it.
288
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,633
It's too much food. It's wasteful.
289
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:25,235
I've never heard of too much food.
290
00:09:25,268 --> 00:09:27,237
We promise, none of it will go to waste.
291
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,047
How do we even charge
for this kind of thing?
292
00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:32,008
- We're gonna lose money on it.
- Isn't that what we normally do?
293
00:09:32,075 --> 00:09:33,743
Eh, kind of. What about the giant bun?
294
00:09:33,768 --> 00:09:35,353
Mom, we've already thought this through.
295
00:09:35,378 --> 00:09:38,181
The bakery around the corner
has a huge loaf of bread
296
00:09:38,247 --> 00:09:39,858
that they always put
in the window display.
297
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,385
It'll be perfect. So,
if they want to order it,
298
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:43,829
can we make it?
299
00:09:43,854 --> 00:09:44,887
- Please?
- Please!
300
00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:46,165
- Please, please, please.
- Say yes!
301
00:09:46,189 --> 00:09:47,023
Okay, fine.
302
00:09:47,123 --> 00:09:48,158
- Yay! - Yes!
- Yes!
303
00:09:48,224 --> 00:09:49,258
Beef...
304
00:09:49,283 --> 00:09:51,369
- Calm down, calm down.
- Hemoth.
305
00:09:51,394 --> 00:09:53,062
So, what do you say?
306
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:55,298
Can we put you down
for the Beef-hemoth?
307
00:09:55,407 --> 00:09:57,175
- Let's do it! - Yeah!
- Damn straight!
308
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,711
- Great.
- But this isn't like the thing
309
00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,379
where, if you finish
it, you get it for free.
310
00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:02,615
- You just have to finish it.
- Or our daddy will be angry.
311
00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:06,109
And you do not want our daddy
to be angry. It's very awkward.
312
00:10:06,134 --> 00:10:07,586
His face gets red.
313
00:10:07,611 --> 00:10:10,080
Damn it. Oh, wait.
314
00:10:10,105 --> 00:10:11,748
Oh.
315
00:10:11,814 --> 00:10:13,483
- Hello? Hang on.
- Hello?
316
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,318
- Uh, hi.
- Are you at the dirt road?
317
00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:17,420
No. Sorry. I-I just got it downloaded.
318
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,689
I've never downloaded
anything on my phone before.
319
00:10:19,756 --> 00:10:21,233
- I think it was surprised.
- Play it.
320
00:10:21,257 --> 00:10:23,035
I should hang up because
of your battery, Teddy.
321
00:10:23,059 --> 00:10:24,394
No, Bob. Try it, please.
322
00:10:24,461 --> 00:10:25,872
I need the human connection right now.
323
00:10:25,896 --> 00:10:27,497
I might be having a panic attack.
324
00:10:27,522 --> 00:10:29,875
I can't tell 'cause
I've never had one before
325
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,068
- or I'm always having one.
- Uh, okay, okay.
326
00:10:32,093 --> 00:10:35,180
I-I'll try. Uh, uh, all right,
putting you on speakerphone.
327
00:10:35,205 --> 00:10:36,273
I am...
328
00:10:36,298 --> 00:10:39,450
pulling out of the
lot and pressing play.
329
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,988
- It's a toe-tapper, right?
- Uh,
330
00:10:42,013 --> 00:10:44,182
I can't really focus on that right now.
331
00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:45,849
No, no, no!
332
00:10:45,874 --> 00:10:47,659
A tractor just pulled
out in front of me.
333
00:10:47,684 --> 00:10:49,252
- I-I got to slow way down.
- What?
334
00:10:49,277 --> 00:10:51,096
Bob, no! The "with glasses" part
335
00:10:51,121 --> 00:10:53,256
is gonna come on and you
won't know where to turn.
336
00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:54,991
- Teddy, I know.
- Can you pass it?
337
00:10:55,058 --> 00:10:57,427
No. There are cars coming the
other way that will hit me,
338
00:10:57,452 --> 00:11:00,054
- and I-I won't like that.
- Well, try honking.
339
00:11:00,079 --> 00:11:01,974
I don't like honking at people.
340
00:11:01,999 --> 00:11:04,501
Just give the horn a
little friendly tap.
341
00:11:04,526 --> 00:11:05,986
Ugh, fine.
342
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,504
- Bob, don't pound on it.
- I barely touched it.
343
00:11:08,538 --> 00:11:10,606
Wait, he's pulling over. Yes!
344
00:11:10,631 --> 00:11:13,018
Thank you. Sorry. Uh, cool tractor.
345
00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:15,363
Bob, you got to speed up. You
got to make up for lost time.
346
00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:17,355
Okay, Teddy. "With glasses."
347
00:11:17,380 --> 00:11:19,332
He just said, "with glasses." Oh, gosh.
348
00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:21,460
Uh, I don't know if this
plan is gonna work now.
349
00:11:21,485 --> 00:11:22,852
Oh. I see a right turn ahead.
350
00:11:22,877 --> 00:11:24,697
- D-Do you think that's it?
- I'm in a bunker, Bob.
351
00:11:24,721 --> 00:11:26,322
- I don't know.
- It-It's a dirt road.
352
00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:28,458
- L-Like you said.
- Take it!
353
00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:30,385
Oh, yeah. Bumpy road.
354
00:11:30,410 --> 00:11:31,770
- You did it. You did it.
- Yes!
355
00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:33,897
Oh, that's too bumpy. Slowing down.
356
00:11:33,922 --> 00:11:34,973
- Oh, no.
- What?
357
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,267
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What? What? Wh-What is it?
358
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:39,127
Teddy, the road splits
into three different roads.
359
00:11:39,152 --> 00:11:41,541
How do I know where to go?
I don't know how to choose.
360
00:11:41,566 --> 00:11:43,301
You know what you do... You just...
361
00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:44,916
Teddy? Teddy?
362
00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:47,627
Oh, no. Oh, my God. Did your
phone run out of batteries?
363
00:11:47,652 --> 00:11:48,720
Teddy?
364
00:11:48,745 --> 00:11:50,313
- Teddy!
- ♪ Judy in disguise ♪
365
00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:52,053
- This is a good song.
- ♪ With glasses. ♪
366
00:11:55,852 --> 00:11:57,363
Oh, come on, which
road did you take, Teddy?
367
00:11:57,496 --> 00:11:58,997
Uh, maybe I can get out
368
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,091
and look for fresh tire tracks?
369
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,435
Nope. That's not
something I know how to do.
370
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:04,761
This just looks like dirt.
371
00:12:05,218 --> 00:12:06,420
It's so big.
372
00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:07,946
It's so much meat in one place.
373
00:12:07,971 --> 00:12:09,941
I think it has its
own gravitational pull.
374
00:12:09,966 --> 00:12:11,551
- Are we orbiting it?
- I feel it.
375
00:12:11,576 --> 00:12:13,460
Listen, kids, I like the Beefy Moth.
376
00:12:13,485 --> 00:12:15,787
Beef-hemoth,
Mom. Beef-hemoth.
377
00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:17,981
Yeah, sure, sure. It's just,
how are we gonna flip it?
378
00:12:18,006 --> 00:12:20,359
- Uh, we haven't worked that part out yet.
- What?
379
00:12:20,384 --> 00:12:22,056
Well, how do you flip
Dad? We'll just go from there.
380
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,603
Oh, speaking of your
381
00:12:23,627 --> 00:12:25,861
Dad, he's calling. Hey.
How's the rescue mission going?
382
00:12:25,886 --> 00:12:27,558
Well, Teddy's phone battery died
383
00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:28,951
and I have no idea where to go.
384
00:12:28,976 --> 00:12:31,771
- Oh, no.
- Ugh, why did Teddy think I could do this?
385
00:12:31,796 --> 00:12:35,099
- 'Cause you can. I know you can.
- Uh-huh, but what if I can't?
386
00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:37,175
Well, don't say that.
That's not gonna help.
387
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,146
That thought's gonna crowd
out all the smart thoughts
388
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,071
you're about to have.
Say something smart.
389
00:12:41,096 --> 00:12:43,616
Like... Oh, um, how would
you flip a giant burger?
390
00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:46,310
Oh, God. They didn't make
the giant burger, did they?
391
00:12:46,335 --> 00:12:47,345
Who would agree to eat that?
392
00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:49,439
An over-40 co-ed
basketball team.
393
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,656
They're excited about it.
394
00:12:50,681 --> 00:12:52,083
Seriously? Oh. A truck's coming.
395
00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:54,274
- I should ask them something.
- Wait, Bob,
396
00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:55,641
-we have to flip the burger,
-Okay, good luck.
397
00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:57,210
- but we don't know what we're gonna...
- I'll call you back.
398
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:59,103
- Oh, okay. Bye.
- Well,
399
00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:00,674
was father very, very proud of us?
400
00:13:00,699 --> 00:13:02,534
Or very, very, very proud of us?
401
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,033
- Hey. Hey! Uh, excuse me.
- You all right there?
402
00:13:06,058 --> 00:13:09,392
Yeah. Uh, I'm-I'm just trying
to find a-a friend, though.
403
00:13:09,417 --> 00:13:10,822
Well, I'm flattered, but...
404
00:13:10,847 --> 00:13:13,817
Sorry. I mean, I'm-I'm
looking for a friend.
405
00:13:13,842 --> 00:13:15,377
He... His phone died,
406
00:13:15,402 --> 00:13:17,170
but he-he's up one
of these roads, so...
407
00:13:17,195 --> 00:13:18,629
Oh. Well, I didn't see anyone.
408
00:13:18,654 --> 00:13:20,931
Uh, are-are there houses up that way?
409
00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:22,858
Yeah. Does your friend live in a house?
410
00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:27,080
Oh. No. He's, uh, doing
some work in one, or near one.
411
00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:28,940
Okay, well, good luck.
412
00:13:28,965 --> 00:13:31,189
Aftershave. Wait. Wait. Stop.
413
00:13:31,214 --> 00:13:32,749
Oh, I thought we were done talking.
414
00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:35,517
Sorry. I smell aftershave.
Is that-is that you?
415
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:38,270
Well, kind of. It's witch
hazel. It grows up the road,
416
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,797
and it blooms in the winter.
417
00:13:39,822 --> 00:13:41,856
Uh, is-is witch-hazel
used in aftershave?
418
00:13:41,881 --> 00:13:42,916
Uh, yeah.
419
00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:45,246
Oh, my God. That's it.
That-That's the smell.
420
00:13:45,271 --> 00:13:47,006
So Gerald lives next to a field
421
00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:48,103
of witch hazel.
422
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,306
Uh, okay. Sure.
423
00:13:49,331 --> 00:13:50,908
Does it grow anywhere else around here?
424
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,634
Um... Well, not that I know of.
425
00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:54,744
- Just back up there.
- Yes! Thanks.
426
00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:56,049
You're really excited about this.
427
00:13:56,074 --> 00:13:57,942
I am. Y-You just helped me out a lot.
428
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,799
Thank you, guy in truck.
429
00:13:59,824 --> 00:14:01,225
Sorry, I-I didn't get your name.
430
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,427
You don't need to know my name.
431
00:14:02,452 --> 00:14:04,455
I'm just gonna drive away from you now.
432
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,348
Thank you. Thank you.
433
00:14:08,488 --> 00:14:09,856
Okay, this is it.
434
00:14:09,881 --> 00:14:11,658
This is why you gave birth to us, Mom.
435
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,618
- Eh...
- We're about to use two baking sheets
436
00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:16,247
and four spatulas to try
to flip what I'm assuming
437
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,603
is 100 to 1,000 pounds of beef.
438
00:14:18,628 --> 00:14:19,962
Some of us might not make it.
439
00:14:19,987 --> 00:14:21,255
- Uh...
- Oh, my.
440
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,858
But just know this
burger will be our legacy.
441
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:25,059
Why do Mom and Tina get safety goggles?
442
00:14:25,084 --> 00:14:26,352
They're just our glasses.
443
00:14:26,377 --> 00:14:27,411
You lucky nerds.
444
00:14:27,436 --> 00:14:28,737
All right, let's make history.
445
00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:30,096
We flip on three.
446
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:31,623
One, two,
447
00:14:31,648 --> 00:14:33,640
three!
448
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,611
All right! -
449
00:14:35,636 --> 00:14:36,780
It's like what we do every day,
450
00:14:36,805 --> 00:14:38,127
but for some reason it's fun now.
451
00:14:38,152 --> 00:14:40,222
- 'Cause it's big.
- How's it going in there?
452
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,247
- We moving along?
- Uh...
453
00:14:41,272 --> 00:14:43,017
great. It-It's going great.
454
00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:44,945
We're pretty hungry.
Like, really hungry.
455
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:46,570
We're not sad about
how long it's taking,
456
00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,429
but we are sad that we don't have food.
457
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,422
It's gonna be out real soon.
458
00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:52,282
- Uh, too soon.
- Oh crap, the bun!
459
00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:53,741
Mom, money. I'll go to the bakery
460
00:14:53,766 --> 00:14:54,977
- and get the giant loaf.
- Okay.
461
00:14:55,002 --> 00:14:56,971
- Is that a euphemism? Sorry.
- Oh, uh,
462
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,363
basketball players, uh,
463
00:14:58,388 --> 00:15:00,824
you're-you're gonna be so
happy in just a few moments.
464
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,503
- We are almost there.
- Hi. Hi. Sorry, bye.
465
00:15:04,962 --> 00:15:06,597
Come on, witch hazel.
466
00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,425
Wait, I think I smell it.
467
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:10,753
Ooh, I definitely smell it. Ha!
468
00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:14,415
There it is! Oh, my God.
That must be the house.
469
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,822
Okay, no truck.
470
00:15:15,847 --> 00:15:18,249
Uh, maybe Gerald isn't here.
That-that would be good.
471
00:15:18,274 --> 00:15:20,110
Hm, I don't like parking so close
472
00:15:20,135 --> 00:15:21,252
in case he has cameras
473
00:15:21,277 --> 00:15:24,857
and he looks up my license
plate and comes to kill me.
474
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,384
Uh, maybe I'll park a
little down the road?
475
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:30,713
Maybe that was,
uh, too far down the road.
476
00:15:30,738 --> 00:15:34,400
Whew! Uh, all right. Bunker, bunker.
477
00:15:34,425 --> 00:15:35,826
Looking for a bunker.
478
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:39,105
Weird, scary, rusty hammer
on the ground. Ignoring that.
479
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,631
Where is the bunker?
480
00:15:40,656 --> 00:15:43,159
Teddy? Teddy? Are you down there?
481
00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:45,520
Oh, God, I hope this
is the right bunker.
482
00:15:47,069 --> 00:15:49,604
I'm sorry if I'm in the wrong
bunker. Please don't hurt me.
483
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,652
- Teddy? Teddy?
- Oh, my God!
484
00:15:52,677 --> 00:15:54,245
- Bob, is that you?
- It's me!
485
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:56,455
- You found me!
- I found you!
486
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,783
- It's-it's a pretty nice bunker.
- I know, right?
487
00:15:58,808 --> 00:16:00,809
Okay. I'm gonna move the sheet metal
488
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,962
- so you can get out.
- Gloves, Bob!
489
00:16:02,987 --> 00:16:04,155
- Gloves!
- Oh! So sharp.
490
00:16:04,222 --> 00:16:06,124
Gloves! Put on my gloves!
491
00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:08,584
Oh, gloves. Great.
492
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,306
Okay, I'm doing this.
493
00:16:13,331 --> 00:16:14,332
Okay.
494
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,001
I moved it. I did it.
495
00:16:18,026 --> 00:16:20,079
I'm free. Oh, my God.
496
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,142
- I knew you could do it.
- Yeah.
497
00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:24,350
I always believed in
you, even when I stopped
498
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:25,575
believing in you a little bit.
499
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,944
It's kind of amazing what happened.
500
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:29,105
After I talked to you,
a truck drove by and...
501
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,707
Yeah, o-okay, Bob, I-I
hate to cut you off,
502
00:16:30,732 --> 00:16:32,806
and I know you just got
here, but you got to leave.
503
00:16:32,831 --> 00:16:34,075
- What?
- You got to get out of here.
504
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,344
Gerald could be back any minute.
505
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,737
Hey, great seeing you, though, pal.
506
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:37,973
Right, okay, right, right. Okay, uh...
507
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,475
- You got to go.
- Yeah. I-I'm-I'm, uh...
508
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,833
Thanks a lot, though.
509
00:16:40,858 --> 00:16:41,893
Big help.
510
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,586
- I owe you one.
- Okay, bye.
511
00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,566
Take it easy. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
512
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,596
Teddy, charge your phone.
And call me when you get home,
513
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,674
- so I know you're safe.
- Bye, Bob.
514
00:16:47,698 --> 00:16:48,933
Oh, God.
515
00:16:50,083 --> 00:16:51,285
Someone's here. Red truck.
516
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,178
What? Oh, no. Oh, my God.
517
00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:54,505
Oh, my God, that's Gerald.
518
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,415
You can't be here. What
do we do? What do we do?
519
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,543
- I don't... I-I don't know.
- Hide inside my shirt?
520
00:16:58,568 --> 00:17:00,252
- No. I-I don't think so.
- In my pants?
521
00:17:00,277 --> 00:17:01,746
- No.
- Put a lampshade on your head?
522
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,382
- No!
- I'm the only one coming up with stuff.
523
00:17:03,407 --> 00:17:04,684
You're not coming up with stuff.
524
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:06,220
You're just saying things you're seeing.
525
00:17:06,245 --> 00:17:07,894
Okay, well, while you're thinking,
526
00:17:07,919 --> 00:17:09,863
I'm just gonna gently put
the lampshade on your head.
527
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,994
Teddy, no. No, no, no, no, no.
528
00:17:17,095 --> 00:17:19,329
What are we gonna do?
He can't find you here.
529
00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:20,807
- I know.
- We don't have any time.
530
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:23,049
I know that. Stop
saying stressful things.
531
00:17:23,444 --> 00:17:25,711
Wait. I'm, uh... I-I
think I have an idea.
532
00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:27,371
The shirt thing? I'll start unbuttoning.
533
00:17:27,396 --> 00:17:28,647
Not the shirt thing.
534
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,841
Oh, my God, so much cheese.
535
00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:32,318
It's like a cheese blanket.
536
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,854
Sleep tight, giant burger.
537
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,356
Ooh, ooh, I think Tina's back.
538
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:36,681
She sounds great.
539
00:17:37,774 --> 00:17:39,959
Tina, where's the bun?
540
00:17:39,984 --> 00:17:42,553
It's plastic! It's not
real. It's just for display.
541
00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:44,056
And they said it would taste terrible.
542
00:17:44,081 --> 00:17:45,598
Because it's plastic. And I tried it.
543
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:46,891
- They were right.
- Damn it!
544
00:17:46,916 --> 00:17:48,600
Quick, Mom, bake us a giant bun!
545
00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:49,760
I don't know how to do that.
546
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,762
Wait, what if we just
use our regular buns?
547
00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:54,440
Well, I don't know, Tina,
because they're way too small!
548
00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:57,101
- This burger is giant.
- Uh, I don't mean one little bun.
549
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,778
I mean, I mean, what
if we use all of them.
550
00:17:58,803 --> 00:18:01,038
And layer them on top of each
other for extra thickness?
551
00:18:01,063 --> 00:18:02,648
Like-like a giant mountain of buns?
552
00:18:02,673 --> 00:18:04,658
It's like your journal but
you're just saying it out loud.
553
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,210
Okay. Giant burger
554
00:18:06,235 --> 00:18:09,237
inside of 100 little hamburger buns
555
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,623
could actually work.
556
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:12,817
It's kind of a metaphor for humanity,
557
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:13,960
if you don't think about it.
558
00:18:13,984 --> 00:18:15,452
- Let's do it.
- You're welcome.
559
00:18:15,593 --> 00:18:17,955
- Teddy.
- There he is.
560
00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:19,324
The man paying me for this.
561
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,318
Yup. So, how's it going?
562
00:18:21,343 --> 00:18:23,102
Good. Great. Why?
563
00:18:23,127 --> 00:18:24,438
Doesn't it seem like it's going great?
564
00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:25,963
I don't know. I just got here,
565
00:18:25,988 --> 00:18:27,473
and I asked, "How is it going?"
566
00:18:27,498 --> 00:18:29,818
I guess I've been
down in this bunker for a while,
567
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:32,903
so I must have forgotten how
people talk on the mainland.
568
00:18:32,928 --> 00:18:35,797
All right. Let's check out
what you've done so far.
569
00:18:35,822 --> 00:18:37,617
Great. Perfect. Why not?
570
00:18:37,642 --> 00:18:40,244
Sounds like a plan. Let's open her up.
571
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,892
Looks good. Looks like an empty safe.
572
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,819
Yup. Eh, looks very empty.
573
00:18:48,844 --> 00:18:49,945
Good eye, good eye.
574
00:18:49,970 --> 00:18:51,564
I'm gonna open the secret part.
575
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:52,824
- Do you have to?
- What?
576
00:18:52,849 --> 00:18:53,883
Yeah, no, sure.
577
00:18:53,908 --> 00:18:55,668
But it could be a fun surprise
578
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:57,037
to just see it later, though, right?
579
00:18:57,061 --> 00:18:58,479
I'd prefer to see it now.
580
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,473
Okay. Open it up, if
that's what you want to do.
581
00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:03,434
Uh, here we go.
582
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,147
- Ta-da!
- Wow.
583
00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:09,838
- Uh...
- Mm...
584
00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:12,744
No one's gonna find you in
here, my little candy babies.
585
00:19:12,769 --> 00:19:14,136
Nope.
586
00:19:14,161 --> 00:19:15,563
Teddy, it's perfect.
587
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,849
I love it almost as
much as I love my mother,
588
00:19:17,882 --> 00:19:19,042
who happens to steal from me.
589
00:19:19,081 --> 00:19:21,127
Okay. Well, uh, I'm gonna paint it
590
00:19:21,152 --> 00:19:23,242
and then I'll be done, right?
591
00:19:23,267 --> 00:19:26,632
Mm-hmm. I'm gonna go the store
and buy some more bunker beans.
592
00:19:26,657 --> 00:19:28,926
- Feel like I didn't get enough.
- Oh, yeah, look at that.
593
00:19:28,951 --> 00:19:30,720
There's barely any left. Yeah.
594
00:19:30,745 --> 00:19:32,571
- And, Teddy...
- Yes. Hi.
595
00:19:32,746 --> 00:19:34,381
- On the way home later...
- Yeah?
596
00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:37,110
Don't worry about wearing
the blindfold. You know why?
597
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:39,203
- Why?
- I trust you.
598
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:40,613
Oh.
599
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,556
All right, new friend.
See you in a little bit.
600
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:44,439
Okay. Take it easy.
601
00:19:47,580 --> 00:19:49,755
It was tight back there, but it worked.
602
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:52,199
Yeah, it worked. You just
double fake walled him.
603
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,227
I did. I double fake walled him.
604
00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:55,419
You smart smartie.
605
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,196
I'm just glad I brought
that extra sheet metal.
606
00:19:57,221 --> 00:19:59,741
I mean, that's how you got stuck
in the safe in the first place.
607
00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:01,392
Yeah, no, I know. Don't ruin this.
608
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:02,768
You're a genius, Bob.
609
00:20:02,793 --> 00:20:04,728
Yeah, I feel kind of
smart, maybe. A little.
610
00:20:04,753 --> 00:20:06,572
I-I should... I should probably leave
611
00:20:06,597 --> 00:20:08,708
- before Gerald comes back with the beans.
- Good idea.
612
00:20:08,732 --> 00:20:10,635
I knew I asked the right
person to come help me.
613
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:12,578
- Thanks, Teddy.
- Yeah. Mort didn't answer.
614
00:20:12,603 --> 00:20:14,288
What? Y-You called Mort first?
615
00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,715
- No.
- Didn't you just say...
616
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:17,575
- Nope.
- But I heard you say Mor...
617
00:20:17,642 --> 00:20:19,293
- No, you didn't.
- You know what? Fine.
618
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,821
Whatever. I found you,
and I hid in the thing.
619
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,548
Mort's never double fake walled anyone.
620
00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:26,313
That's why I didn't call him.
621
00:20:26,338 --> 00:20:28,060
So, the answer is...
622
00:20:28,085 --> 00:20:29,396
- twelve.
- That doesn't seem right.
623
00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:31,355
Yeah, you know what,
I'm feeling smart today.
624
00:20:31,455 --> 00:20:32,790
Let's just say it's 12.
625
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,939
- More Beef-hemoth, anyone?
- Oh, yes, please.
626
00:20:34,964 --> 00:20:36,399
I'll take nine pounds.
627
00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:38,422
This is why I was worried
about the Beef-hemoth.
628
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,626
- Why?
- Because now we have
629
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:43,767
to eat a giant hamburger
so it doesn't go to waste.
630
00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:45,587
You don't sound smart at all right now.
631
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,346
Yeah, Dad. We were heroes today.
632
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,872
Beef!
633
00:20:48,897 --> 00:20:50,700
And then everybody
wanted to throw up.
634
00:20:50,725 --> 00:20:52,552
- And one guy did.
- They did their best,
635
00:20:52,577 --> 00:20:55,057
- and now we get to eat the rest.
- You know what would be fun?
636
00:20:55,113 --> 00:20:57,265
- Giant French fries.
- Let's do that.
637
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,191
- Fry-Gantua!
- Please, no.
638
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,885
Yes.
639
00:21:00,952 --> 00:21:04,422
♪ Beef-hemoth ♪
640
00:21:04,489 --> 00:21:06,456
♪ The Beef-hemoth ♪
641
00:21:06,523 --> 00:21:10,128
♪ Beef, beef, beef, beef,
beef, beef, beef, beef ♪
642
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,029
♪ Beef, beef, beef ♪
643
00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:15,566
♪ Beef-hemoth ♪
644
00:21:15,632 --> 00:21:18,202
♪ Beef, beef, beef,
beef, beef, beef... ♪
645
00:21:18,269 --> 00:21:19,837
So, what do you say?
646
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,305
Can we put you down for
647
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:25,050
- The Beef-hemoth?
- ♪ The Beef-hemoth ♪
648
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,744
Oh, my God, yes.
649
00:21:26,844 --> 00:21:28,846
More Beef-hemoth, anyone?
650
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,881
♪ Beef-hemoth. ♪
651
00:21:30,948 --> 00:21:33,350
Beef... !
652
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:36,353
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --