- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --
Hey, Mom, can you pass
the cereal? I'm gonna have seconds.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
I gotta eat a good breakfast because I want to
have enough energy for Chelsea's party tonight.
- It's a dance party. - Yes, you've mentioned that.
Quite a few times. A million times.
I'm still confused.
Isn't Chelsea the girl you think is kinda scary?
Scariest girl in the world.
Except for that one Spice Girl. I forget her name.
Yeah, but I'm still going to her party.
I mean, it's a dance party that's not at school,
so no chaperones.
But Chelsea's parents are gonna be there, right? Tina?
Yeah, they'll be there, but I heard
they're gonna be upstairs most of the time
because Chelsea told them they had to be.
So there's been a lot of talk about UB at this party.
- UB? - Upper butt.
The upper part of the butt area.
Okay.
So, you know how when two people are slow dancing
and sometimes their hands move a little bit
and there's some consensual upper butt touching?
- Yup, got it. - I mean, this is gonna be
my first UB and I'm feeling pretty excited.
To get some UB,
and to give some.
- Dad, are you okay? - Mm-hmm.
Aw, I remember we used to have dances
at the rec center every Saturday night.
The best part was that everybody danced.
The cools, the nerds, the jocks,
everybody just dancing until their legs fell off.
It sounds like maybe you were doing it wrong?
Oh, and Jimmy Jr.'s gonna be there.
He's been sick all week, but last night,
I saw that he replied "yes" on the e-vite.
He wrote, "I'm gonna rest up today
and beat this sinus infection so my feet can fly."
I think that's exactly what Julia Stiles says
at the end of Save the Last Dance.
So, Chelsea asked Nikki Bernstein to put together
the playlist for the party and Nikki texted me the whole list.
There's gonna be three slow songs.
That means three chances for UB,
which is, like, so much UB.
It's a B-load of UB.
Wait. Why can't it be all slow songs?
More UB bang for your buck?
Because, Tina, mmm,
it's a delicate balance.
If you do all slow songs, there's no fast dancing,
no anticipation.
It has to be three songs, Tina.
- Okay, okay. - And the last one
- is gonna be "Sweet Love Sugar." - Mm-hmm.
Yeah. That's like a six-minute-long song, Tina.
It starts slow and then it gets more and more intense,
and hands just start moving all over.
They can't help it.
Amateurs will hear the song speeding up
and they'll start fast dancing.
And they'll be like, "Oh, this is a fast dance now, I guess."
And just do that.
- But Tina? - Yeah?
- If you stay slow dancing... - Yeah?
... if you stay in that clinch...
- Yeah? - ... you will
- touch each other's upper butt. - Damn.
Nikki said it's the last song of the night
and it's gonna come on right after "Funky Farmer Fred."
Good to know, good to know.
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Uh... ♪
♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
Hello? The bell went ring-a-ling.
- Didn't you hear it? - Oh, yep. Heh-heh. Off to class.
- Careful, I just mopped there. - Whoa!
I'm fine.
Hey, guys. One burger of the day, please.
- I'm starving. - Hey, Teddy.
Teddy, we missed you at lunch.
It's, like, 6:00.
Yeah, I couldn't get away from this job today.
I got so hungry.
The only thing I've had all day was two huge burritos.
- Mmm. - Hello, my little basement birds.
How's Palletsville?
Palletropolis.
Palletropolis, Mother.
It was revitalizing.
We should have our corporate retreats there.
What's a Palletropolis?
Someone left a bunch of wooden pallets
in the alley by the dumpster last night.
Some idiot left them.
And these guys decided to take them
and put them in the basement.
Oh. No, no, no. No, no, no. No.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Whoa. Okay, you and Dad
- were building stuff, too. - You were?
Well, yeah. We were. A little.
It got kinda slow here this afternoon.
We turned it into a competition.
- A building competition? - Yeah.
Mom built a throne, and Dad built, um, something.
You guys just didn't understand my piece,
'cause you don't know anything about art.
And we built Palletropolis.
The kids won. The voting was rigged.
And as part of the winner's ceremony
you're gonna take the pallets back out to the alley, right?
- Uh, yeah, I'm not sure. - Mmm, we'll see.
My back hurts.
No, no, no, no, no. 'Cause you agreed,
and the trash truck is coming tomorrow morning,
and that stuff is trash.
- How dare you! - Wait.
The competition can't be over yet.
I want to build something.
You want to build a pallet thingy?
Yeah, of course I do. I'm a handyman.
It's what I do! It's who I am!
- Okay, easy, Teddy. Easy. - Okay, all right.
Sorry, Bob, but if I don't
win this competition, so help me...
Okay, okay, you can build a thing.
Great. I'm gonna go get my tools from the truck.
And my coffee thermos.
And my hand lotion. I'm a little dry.
Okay, but we're gonna have to close up soon. Just a reminder.
Okay, Bob. Hi, Tina. Fancy.
- Thank you. - Aw, look at you.
Hold me closer, Tina Dancer.
- Did you ever get ahold of Jimmy Jr.? - No.
I tried calling and texting on the emergency phone,
but I didn't hear back.
Maybe my plan of asking him for a verbal agreement
to dance with me to all the slow songs
wasn't the most romantic thing in the world.
You wanted him to RSVP to your UB?
- Yeah. Upper butt. - Uh, yes, I know.
- I'm gonna touch the upper part... - Yup. Yup.
-... of his butt. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Tina, I get it.
- And he's gonna touch the upper... - Please. No more.
Pretty good energy in here.
Seeing some of the kids brushed their hair.
Seeing some tucked-in shirts.
No parents in sight. This is our house now.
Oh, there's Chelsea. Hi, Chelsea.
Um, talk to her later, probably.
It's like somebody put chum in the water
and it's a room full of hungry whatever animals eat chum.
- Chum-panzees? - Yeah.
Well, except for him.
And her. And him.
More UB for us. Okay, everybody, go, go, go.
Ow!
- Jimmy Jr. - Hey, Tina.
Sorry I didn't text you back.
I was resting up for tonight.
I had my phone off so I could get restorative sleep.
No problem.
Um, hey, I have a question for you...
♪ Stir the pot ♪
♪ The butter's gonna burn ♪
♪ Stir the pot... ♪
Oh, ha-ha. Fun song.
Um. Just... I was...
♪ Stir the pot, the butter's gonna burn... ♪
Uh, I'll check back in a bit.
It's been so long. And really loud.
Is he making sweet love to a Chevy Malibu?
Wait, power tools?
Automatically disqualified, right?
Oh, yeah. We just had, like,
rubber bands and chewed-up gum to work with.
So, Jimmy Jr., while I have you...
- All right! - Oh, yeah!
Zeke! Zeke!
So, yeah, when a slow song comes on,
- do you wanna, um... - Go! Go!
Um, okay, let's talk later.
You see me out there?
- Boy, I was good. - Yeah.
I was feeling totally uninhibited.
Love this.
The first slow song. Hey, Jimmy J...
Oh. Am I, like, really sweaty?
Ugh, why is my arm wet?
Oh, my God. Am I sweaty on my upper butt?
Oh, yes. Very wet.
That is very wet.
Oh, my God. Laundry room. Yes.
I can go dry my skirt real quick
and then I'll just, uh, catch Jimmy Jr. on the...
on the next slow song.
Okay. Good plan.
- Snack time. - I love snacks.
- All right. - I'm gonna eat so many potato chips.
Best night ever!
So many buttons.
Okay, phew.
Yes.
No! The dryer door won't open!
What the... stuck?
Please open.
Oh, my God.
Oh, h-hey, Tina. Uh...
Hi, Sam.
So, cool story.
I kinda sweat through my skirt,
and, uh, I put it in the dryer
and now the dryer door won't open.
Um. So what are you doing in here?
Um, nothing. I'm not hiding or anything,
'cause who hides at a party? That's weird.
That'd be super weird. No, I'm f... I'm fine.
- Okay. - Okay, I'm kinda sorta hiding,
but not from, like, anyone specific.
It's just more like hiding from,
uh, everything that's going on out there?
Is it okay if we don't talk about it, actually?
Oh, yeah. Um, hey, do you think
maybe you could help me with the dryer door?
Oh, sure.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, no dice, home slice.
I'm very sorry I said that.
What am I gonna do?
Hey, uh, maybe I could go find Chelsea
and maybe she could help?
Okay, maybe...
♪ ♪- Yeah.
There she is.
Hey, Chelsea, some soda spilled over there...
Boo! I'm dancing, so no. Bye.
Okay, yeah. I just... I'm-I'm going.
Um, you know what? Maybe we just
- try the dryer door again? - Yeah, good idea.
Okay, just a few more steps.
Don't look yet, don't look yet.
Okay, now look.
- Wow. - Oh, my God. - What?
Trash Pallet Bob's.
- Yup. - I love it.
Damn it. I guess you win.
This is better. Even though you cheated
- by being really good at this. - Yes!
In your faces! I win! I'm the winner!
I mean, thank you. Thanks a lot, Louise.
It is really impressive.
Should we take it down?
- What? - What? - Oh.
'Cause, you know, it's past closing time and...
I never ate my burger.
Let's serve it to him down here.
- In Trash Pallet Bob's. - Ooh.
Really? That would be, like, a lifelong dream come true.
Teddy, you just did this.
Yeah, no, I know, but I didn't know
it was my lifelong dream until I got started.
But we might as well enjoy it, right?
- Well, we did. - Oh, come on, Bob.
Don't be a pallet pooper.
Yeah, Dad, the upstairs restaurant
never has to know about this.
Okay, fine.
- Yes! - Yay! We get to watch Teddy
eat a burger in our basement.
It's not the first time, but it's always interesting.
♪ Burger in the basement. ♪
I give up.
- I don't know what to do. - Whew.
Yeah, uh, that felt like a long time to do that.
I need to get out of here. I can't miss another slow song.
Yeah, yeah. Totally. Totally.
Uh, Sam, you don't have to stay here
and suffer with me. You should go.
Yeah...
Wait, why are you hiding...
Um, I mean, taking a long break in here again?
Well, I... It's kind of embarrassing.
I'm wearing a towel,
so I'm pretty familiar with embarrassing.
Right. Well, I'm, um...
I'm just, like, not really sure how to be out there.
You know? Like, I'm not much of a dancer, like, at all,
and I heard there was gonna be slow dancing,
and after I heard that, I started having
what I thought was, I'm pretty sure, like a heart attack
or something? Just a-a tightness.
- Oh. - Yeah, and then I thought, you know, well,
I just won't ask anyone to dance,
and I'll just hang out near the snacks and that'll be fine.
But then I thought, you know, what if somebody
asks me to dance? And I'm not gonna
hurt somebody's feelings, so, no, I would have to
do it, right? But then if it's a slow dance,
and I mean, I don't know where to put my hands
or where to look or to like, where to breathe
or like, what to say to each other, like...
Or do we not talk? Like, nobody told me
any of that, so it's like, what is going to happen?
What's gonna happen? So I thought, you know, if I...
wanted to come, and I thought that maybe I did want to come,
but I don't know what made me think that I could handle it.
And maybe I think I'm just gonna never go to
another party again. Yeah.
Oh. And I mean, the whole UB thing
is probably difficult to navigate, too.
What's UB?
- Upper butt? - What is that? Wh...
Is that a thing? Is that... What?
No. Never mind, never mind. Not a thing at all.
- Oh, it's a cat. - Yeah, it's just a cat.
Uh, I guess if we're gonna be trapped in here,
it's nice to have a cute little kitty... Okay, it's pooping
- in the litter box... - Oh. Oh...
Does that look normal?
He's definitely not regular. Oh, that's strong.
I can smell it through my fingers, somehow.
I'm just gonna try the dryer again real quick.
Nope, still stuck. Cool.
- Cool, cool. - That cat is not okay.
We shouldn't be doing this.
I'm reheating Teddy's burger, but I'm not singing
the "Congratulations, You're the Best Builder" song
that he wanted us to sing.
I'll sing it. You do the beat-boxing part.
I'm gonna lock up and flip the sign.
Hey, Dalton.
Linda. Oh, my God, are you guys still open?
We were looking for a good binner spot.
Binner is the meal after dinner, but before bed.
I invented it, you're welcome.
Aw, no, sorry, we're closed.
But I smell food. And alcohol, but that might be from me.
No, the food's for downstairs. We're just...
Eating in our new secret underground restaurant.
Wait, you have a secret
- underground restaurant? - Yeah.
I didn't read about this. Did I read about this?
-No. -No, right? Did you post anywhere?
Eatumups? GobbleGossip? NumnumDinnerdog? ChowYouDoing?
- No, very secret. - Louise. No.
You guys, I love this so much. Love the secrecy.
I won't tell anyone except the people I just texted.
What?
But it's already, like, impossible to get in.
- So, yeah. - Of course. I totally get it.
But get me two tables or I'll die right here
- and you'll have to dispose of my body. - Yeah, yeah.
I'll see what I can do. Let me talk to my manager. Mom?
Maybe.
Uh, Bob?
Uh, um, I-I...
Oh my God, thank you so much. Some of my party's arriving late
and we'll need extra settings at the table.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh, my God.
Okay. This belt I made out of what I think
are Chelsea's dad's dirty socks should hold the towel in place.
And it looks okay, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it seems fashion-forward.
I'm going with it and I'm gonna get back out there.
And Sam, you should, too. I mean, honestly,
what's the worst that could go wrong?
Uh... Yeah, I don't know,
I guess I could be dancing with someone
and then I step on her foot and break her toe.
Or what if I accidentally touch that pressure point
on the back of someone's shoulders
that just makes them, like, fall down dead?
- That could happen? - Yeah, I don't know! Probably!
Oh no! The second slow song! I'm going.
Uh, okay. Uh, have fun.
Uh, honestly, Sam, you shouldn't stay in here
with Chelsea's dad's dirty laundry and the cat poop
that looks like the cat has major digestive problems.
How has the smell gotten worse?
All right, I-I'm gonna try to scoop it.
That, uh, doesn't look like the right way to scoop poop.
I mean, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed
to close your eyes and turn your head?
Uh... Here, I'll, uh, I'll help you real quick.
- Ah. Thanks. - Just need to grab a baggie.
Oh, my God, it really smells.
Uh... Is... How's it going?
Great.
Uh, towel falling!
- Oh, my God. - No!
Oh, no.
Hey, hey, um, well, uh, the good news is
you can wash it off 'cause we're in a laundry room.
Um, but then I don't know if you'll be able
to dry it, 'cause... you know.
Okay, so I think I washed most of the cat diarrhea
off my shirt, so that's good.
But it is very, very wet.
Ugh. This is when a dryer with a door that opens
- comes in handy. - Yup, yup.
And sure, I could change into a different shirt,
if anyone in Chelsea's family ever washed them.
This basket is all socks and towels and underwear!
Who wears this much underwear?!
Tina, do you want me to go get Chelsea's mom and dad?
- And maybe they can help? - Eh, then I'd be the person
who brings Chelsea's parents downstairs,
which will make everyone sad and might make Chelsea murder me?
So, maybe not?
Uh...
I really got to get out there
before "Sweet Love Sugar" comes on.
Eh! Got to stretch my hammies.
Gotta keep it loose, goose!
These pants might look tight, but they're actually really stretchy.
Wait for me, Jimmy Jr.'s upper butt.
Wait for me.
Here are your burgers. Kind of a pallet cleanser.
Right? Get it? 'Cause of the pallets?
Oh!
Linda, I have a splinter in my butt
and that's a compliment. I mean it.
- Thank you. - Sorry about the splinter.
I-I wanted to sand the seats,
but I had to hang these lights, too, you know?
There was just so much pressure to get it done and open, right?
Dalton, we usually charge for splinters,
but for you, it's on the house.
- But tweezers cost extra. - Hey, guys?
Uh, please send up the new orders
as soon as you can so we can not do this anymore.
I'm not sure an underground restaurant is exactly... legal.
So, we should probably keep that in mind. Thank you.
Okay! Hi, welcome to Trash Pallet Bob's.
Everyone had their tetanus shots? You'll be fine.
Ugh, my shirt is still so wet. Air drying is a myth.
Okay, I'm thinking maybe I can make a shirt
out of Chelsea's dad's underwear?
Sew them together with...
- my hair, maybe? - Y-Yeah... ?
Ugh! I just wish I could start this whole night over
and not drench my skirt in sweat
and not get it stuck in the world's worst dryer!
And not fall boobs-first
into the most disgusting litter box ever!
W-W-W-Wait. Uh, "start over."
What if... What if, um...
What if we unplug the dryer
and then we just plug it back in and restart it?
Like, you know, when you restart a computer?
Yup. Let's try it. Where's the plug?
Wh-Wh-Wh... Where's the plug?
Uh, uh, oh! Here. Uh, I-I can see the outlet.
Let me just see if I can reach it, uh...
Oh, God.
Oh, wow. Oh, this is harder than I thought.
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm good. I'm fine.
Ah! Ha-ha! I got it. Plugging it back in...
Oh, wow. Oh, God.
Oh, my God, it opened!
Sam, you're a genius! Thank you!
Oh, yeah, you're welcome.
Wow, that's the hardest thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna change back into this
and I'm gonna throw this baby in on tumble dry.
And then it's time to get on the UB train.
Next stop... Upper Butts-sylvannia.
I'm very happy for you.
You mind turning that way while I change
into my skirt and dry my shirt?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, of course.
Maybe I'll also just, uh, put this box over my head.
- I mean, you don't have to... - And then I'll just hum, so I...
- so I can't hear anything. - Uh...
Okay.
So sorry, we're full right now,
but my hand has room...
Oh! I'm being told a table just opened up.
- Because of the money. - Right this way.
It smells, uh, sort of like mildew down there.
- I hope you mil-don't mind. - Oh, my God.
It's the hottest place in town, it smells like garbage,
and no one has done this before. And this guy built it.
Teddy Handimahn. Am I saying that right?
Oh, no, I-I was just saying that I'm a handyman, but yeah.
- Is that the bathroom? - That's the walk-in freezer.
Love it! Come on, you guys. Just so you know,
we're definitely not going in there to do drugs.
All right, sounds good. Nice talking to you.
- Good as new, right? - Yeah, you can't see the poop anymore.
Unless you know where to look, in which case you might see,
like, a really faint outline of the poop,
but it's pretty dark in there, so you'll be fine.
No one's gonna know you're wearing a diarrhea shirt.
Great.
"Funky Farmer Fred."
Next song is "Sweet Love Sugar." Perfect timing.
Here we go.
Sam, are you sure you don't want to come out
and join the party? It's close to the end.
You can hide in the shadows and, um,
just feel like you got that far?
Uh, yeah. Um, I'll be out in a minute. You go ahead.
I-I... You've got... upper butt brain.
Damn straight. Uh, see you out there.
Huh. So, he's not gonna come out.
But it's time for T to get some UB.
When this song ends, it's "Sweet Love Sugar" time.
- Tina! Where have you been? - Ah!
Did you go outside to fart
so no one would know it was you?
I would never do that.
Sorry, Tammy, I'm just gonna dance past you...
No, you're not. No, you're not.
- No, you're not. - Move it!
- Oh, my God! - Whoo! Haa-hoo!
That one got my blood pumping.
My whole body's, like, tingling.
I remember we used to have dances
at the rec center every Saturday night.
The best part was that everybody danced.
Oh, hey, you're back. Did you... sweat through your skirt again?
That was... That was really fast.
You, uh, didn't come out.
Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna wait until
people start to leave and then slip out.
Um, s-still gonna be a fun memory, right?
It's a... big success.
- Sam, come out there and dance with me. - What?
- Yeah, come on. - But, uh...
Sam, w-we're just two people who are gonna dance.
But what about your UB plans?
No, no, no. No UB.
Don't UB worried about that.
- Uh... - Sam, it's gonna be okay,
I promise.
Sorry, my hand's a little... It's a... It's a lot...
- It's very sweaty. - So is mine. So is mine.
Oh. Yeah, it is.
How does music get on these things, anyway?
- It's like magic. - I know!
♪ Chocolate ice cream on... ♪
Oh, God, I'm doing it. I'm dancing.
And you're good at it, too.
Ah, I know you're just saying that.
I'm stepping on your foot right now.
- I heard it crack. - I'm okay.
- Hey, thanks, Tina. - No big deal.
You know, I-I think I kind of like slow dancing a little bit.
Oh. Oh, God, the fast part.
Oh, I was just getting used to the slow part.
No, no. The fast part's gonna be great.
Don't think about it, just go with it.
Hah! Hah! Hah! Yeah!
Um, I-I know I was, uh...
slightly against this idea,
but I think we made more money down here
than we did upstairs all day.
"Slightly against it"? Dad...
I, like, came around, like, immediately.
- Mm-hmm. - It'd be crazy to leave this up
and do it again tomorrow, right?
Oh, I don't know... I'd leave it up.
Hey, this crumb keeps moving. Oh, it's a bug.
Oh, wait, there are a couple of bugs.
- Where? - There. - Oh, yeah.
Sometimes bark beetles live in wooden pallets.
- They lay their eggs in them. - Oh, God.
Uh, I see an egg sac under this one.
Yeah, egg sac here, too.
Oh, God! They're everywhere!
Okay. Uh, let's see how fast we can take these out.
- Yep, yep. - Oh, boy. - Let's go.
- Let's go, let's go. - Yup, yup. - Mm-hmm.
I did it. I danced at a dance party.
Yeah! You danced till your legs fell off.
- Oh, my God, did I? - No, sorry. Figure of speech.
Hey, there's a empty chair next to Jimmy Jr.
I mean, it's not, you know, UB, but it's something, right?
Like, EC? Empty chair?
Oh, yeah. EC for me.
Oh. My mom's here, I got to go.
Uh, bye, Chelsea. Thanks for having me.
Great party, check on your cat, I think he might be sick.
His stools are very irregular. Bye.
Bye, Sam.
You okay, Jimmy Jr.? You look wiped out.
Yeah. I guess I wasn't totally over my sinus infection.
But I really left it all out there.
Did-did you have fun tonight?
Yeah, in a different way than I thought.
Oof. Can I rest my head on your shoulder for a second?
- Oh, uh, yeah, go-go ahead. - Thanks.
Do you have any soup?
- Uh, I don't. - That's okay.
♪ Whenever I'm with you ♪
♪ I'm wearin' a grin ♪
♪ I never want to leave this place ♪
♪ Especially since you've got ♪
♪ A chocolate goatee on your chin ♪
♪ Chocolate all over your face ♪
♪ So happy you're the one I chose ♪
♪ Gonna put some chocolate ice cream on your nose ♪
♪ When I'm with you, my feelings soar ♪
♪ Don't even care if it clogs my pores ♪
♪ Won't you give me some sweet love sugar? ♪
♪ Oh, sweet love sugar ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh, sweet... ♪
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com --