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00:00:02,745 --> 00:00:04,712
♪ ♪
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00:00:19,261 --> 00:00:21,336
[Frond over P.A.]
Good afternoon, students.
3
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,913
Before you leave today,
4
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,172
just a quick update.
5
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Our school-wide talent show
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that was scheduled for this
Friday has been canceled.
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-[students exclaim]
-We had a few sign-ups
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and I certainly
don't want to say
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00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,534
the talent show was canceled
due to lack of talent,
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but, um, let's say it has been
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postponed indefinitely
while we, uh, develop
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00:00:40,115 --> 00:00:41,689
the, um, talent.
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Have a great afternoon!
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-[grunting]
-Unbelievable. I am offended.
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We were gonna dominate
that talent show.
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We were gonna make it sorry
it was ever born.
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W-Weren't we just
gonna do a song?
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-We were gonna do a song, too.
-We were gonna sing it.
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I was maybe gonna do
a dance for the talent show,
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but now I don't want to.
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I mean, you can't,
'cause it's canceled?
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Right, but still.
Not gonna do it.
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You know what?
You guys should ask your dad
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to have a talent show
at his restaurant.
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Like an open mic night
or something.
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00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:08,216
Why don't you ask your dad
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to have an open mic night
at your restaurant?
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Our dad is not open
to our innovative ideas.
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Plus, do you want to perform
for no one?
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You got to have an audience
for these things.
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That's our restaurant's
unofficial motto:
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"avoid the crowds."
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Our dad said he would have
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an open mic night
at the restaurant,
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except that he likes
fun things that are good.
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-So, no.
-Open mic night?
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-No.
-Ooh...
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No, Lin. No "Ooh."
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Bob. Open mic night.
We should do that.
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Uh, I feel like
you're not hearing me.
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You're saying no,
but that's just a thing you say.
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I-- What?
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Plus, Dad, we'll be performing
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and it'll be amazing.
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-What would you perform?
-Something with a bongo.
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-A ballad about salad.
-Might be about a tree.
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I mean, it's still
coming together.
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We want to perform, too.
49
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[raspy vocalizing]
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Up, bup, bup, bup. Wow!
That's just a taste.
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-Lin. See?
-What? No. I mean...
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I went to an open mic night
at a coffee shop
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with my cousin once.
The place was packed.
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-It was?
-Yeah, on a Wednesday night.
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-How packed?
-W-Were people buying things?
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-Y-You probably didn't notice.
-I ate three scones.
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And I wasn't planning
to eat any scones.
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-No one plans to eat a scone.
-Mm.
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-We can advertise, right?
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
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But we want a cut of the door.
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We couldn't charge at the door.
No one would pay.
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We want a cut of the food.
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-No.
-Cut of the beverages?
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-No.
-Streaming rights?
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May-- Uh, sure.
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And we'll emcee and we'll handle
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the sign-up sheet
and if we get a line,
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Tina will be on crowd control.
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Uh, I will?
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-Hmm. A line.
-Deal?
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Okay, deal. I-If we can
make a little money.
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Gordon the Gecko over here.
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-Yay! Open mic.
-Great.
-Wow.
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-Yay!
-[whoops]
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[both] ♪ La-la, la-la,
la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
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Boys. Boys, too much.
Holster it.
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-Yeah, yeah.
-Mm-hmm, got it.
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We really should figure out
what we're gonna sing.
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It needs to be something
groundbreaking.
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Do you have anything
groundbreaking handy?
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You got to spit out your love
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when you're brushing your heart?
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Keep thinking. Have something
ready by lunch tomorrow.
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Oh, good.
So, I have time.
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Oof.
"A P.A. is a must-have."
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Of course it is.
What's a P.A.?
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Speakers and a mixing board
and mics.
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Can't people just sing loud?
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That's what I was hoping,
but apparently not.
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Mics seem to be a big part
of open mic nights.
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Oh, God, it's, like,
$200 a day to rent.
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-Oh, boy.
-[exclaims] We have to pay
a licensing fee.
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-Wha?
-To the music rights people.
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It looks like it might be a lot.
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Maybe we don't have to pay
if it's just one night?
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What do you think,
the first one's free,
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like a sex worker?
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00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,518
-A sex worker?
-Yeah.
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I don't think sex workers give
you the first one for free.
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-That's drug dealers.
-Oh, Mr. Streets over here.
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Knows who gives
the first one free.
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-I'm not Mr. Streets.
-Mm-hmm.
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[sighs] Maybe we don't
do the open mic night.
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We-we shouldn't lose
money on this, right?
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-Yeah. I guess not.
-Should I go tell the kids?
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Eh. You can tell 'em
in the morning.
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-Or you could tell 'em.
-Oh, no, I'm not telling 'em.
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Great. But you'll back me up
on this, right?
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-[snores]
-Lin?
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Maybe the kids won't even care.
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They've probably moved on
to not-open-mic related things.
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Open mic night at Bob's Burgers.
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Come for the beats,
stay for the meats.
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I hope it's okay
that we got up early
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and made these without
checking with Mom and Dad.
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They already agreed.
Yesterday.
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We're preapproved to launch
our amazing ad campaign.
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Thank you.
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Whoa!
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Are you having
an open mic night?
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-Maybe.
-Maybe?
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Would a landlord have
a problem, theoretically,
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if a tenant
had an open mic night
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in their place of business?
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A landlord?
Is that what you think of me?
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-Yes.
-We pay you rent. Sometimes.
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Sure, I own the hovel
that you live and work in,
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but first and foremost,
I am a troubadour,
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-a minstrel.
-A menstrual?
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-Please reserve a spot
for me, Young Burgers.
-Sign-ups are day of.
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[clears throat] Let's go back
to the landlord part.
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Uh, we'll-we'll find
a spot for you.
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Thank you.
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I'll be inviting
the Princess Angelica Flavia
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to join me.
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She's an actual Belgian princess
who plays the harp.
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We've already got, like,
three of those.
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-Really?
-No, I'm kidding.
She's the first one.
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She's traveling the country
by private train.
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And I was hoping to check out
her caboose, so to speak.
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She's, uh, an age appropriate
princess for me, you see.
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-She's a PILF.
-Yes, I suppose so.
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And that makes me a pilferer.
Wish me luck.
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-Good luck.
-Good luck?
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[Linda]
Where the heck are the kids?
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I don't know. It's spooky
when they get up before we do.
147
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-It's like they escaped.
-So, no go on the open mic, huh?
148
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,865
Yeah. It-it just costs
too much. We can't do it.
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00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:10,475
I feel like Mort
talked you into this
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-and we should all be
mad at him.
-Oh, here they are.
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Kids, hey, listen.
We've got some news that--
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Dad, Dad, Dad.
Everybody's coming
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to the open mic night.
Everybody.
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-You're welcome.
-What?
-Wait, what?
155
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-We fliered.
-I paid for the copies.
156
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I'm hoping I can get reimbursed?
157
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I have the receipt.
Oh, boy,
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I think I handed it to someone
instead of a flier.
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-Oh, my God.
-It's also online.
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Probably viral. We ran into Mort
and he said he'd post about it
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on all the neighborhood apps.
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He took a picture of the flier
with his phone.
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My thumb's gonna be famous.
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Don't let it go to your head.
165
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Oh, my God.
166
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Kids, you should not have made
fliers without asking.
167
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We're not doing
the open mic night.
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-[all] What?
-[entry bells chime]
169
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-Bob.
-Uh, hey, Marshmallow.
170
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,069
[all]
Hi, Marshmallow.
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I love your outfit.
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It's just what I wear to work.
173
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Bob, I'm so glad you're doing
this open mic night.
174
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Um, we're not
actually doing it.
175
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Are you calling
this flier a liar?
176
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I'm sorry. It would just cost us
money that we don't have.
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Like, uh, a lot of it.
178
00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:02,176
Dad.
We're gonna pack the place.
179
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,603
Kids, I know
you wanted to perform,
180
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but you don't even know
what song you want to sing.
181
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That doesn't mean anything.
182
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Yeah, we're gonna figure it out
at the last minute.
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That's how all great works
of art are made.
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Beethoven's 5th--
he came up with that
185
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:13,705
the day before the concert.
186
00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:16,116
Ken Burns' Baseball
was mostly improv.
187
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-Kids.
-Bob.
188
00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:19,269
-Yes?
-This is about expression.
189
00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:21,213
-The plate is your stage.
-Whoa.
190
00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:22,606
When these kids
want to make some noise,
191
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,274
do they have a stage?
192
00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:27,110
It was gonna be at school, but
the talent show was canceled.
193
00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,962
The talent show
was canceled, Bob.
194
00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:30,204
The talent show was canceled.
195
00:06:30,298 --> 00:06:31,781
The talent show
was canceled, Bob.
196
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,876
Yes, I know. What, uh, what if
the kids sing a song,
197
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,044
but we don't have mics
and we don't
198
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,379
call it an open mic night?
199
00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:39,714
That's still a stage, right?
200
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,475
-Got to have mics. Come on.
-And an audience.
201
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,310
And other performers
to compare ourselves to.
202
00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,738
And boys. Maybe, like, a youth
basketball team's bus
203
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:49,074
breaks down right in front
on the night of the show.
204
00:06:49,301 --> 00:06:50,650
-I want to sing, too.
-You do?
205
00:06:50,802 --> 00:06:54,320
I need to sing. Here.
Right here. Friday night.
206
00:06:54,473 --> 00:06:55,989
Right there?
That's so specific.
207
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,398
My parents are coming to town.
208
00:06:57,492 --> 00:07:00,477
I saw this flier
and I said, "Well, well."
209
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:01,420
"Well, well," what?
210
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,571
-Don't what my "well, well."
-Sorry.
211
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:04,923
Bob, I have places to be.
212
00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,425
I came by to say save me a slot.
213
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,835
Will you be saving me a slot
at your open mic night?
214
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,429
Say yes.
215
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:11,988
[sighs]
Fine.
216
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,506
[all]
Yay!
217
00:07:13,659 --> 00:07:16,176
Thank you. Kids,
your parents are good people.
218
00:07:16,328 --> 00:07:18,828
Do all your chores this week.
All of them.
219
00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:19,771
-Uh...
-Don't ruin this.
220
00:07:19,998 --> 00:07:21,014
Yeah, what the heck,
Marshmallow?
221
00:07:21,166 --> 00:07:22,315
-Excuse me?
-Sorry.
222
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:28,505
Lots of great song ideas
over here.
223
00:07:28,523 --> 00:07:30,507
-Well, I've got nothing.
-Oh, phew. Me neither.
224
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,784
-I've got something.
-Is that my journal?
225
00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:34,177
Yeah, sometimes
when I'm blocked,
226
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:35,679
I flip through it
for inspiration.
227
00:07:35,697 --> 00:07:37,180
-You do?
-Look at this.
228
00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,032
-Whoa.
-That's a song.
229
00:07:39,184 --> 00:07:40,625
-It is.
-Let me see.
230
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:43,369
You were pressing very hard
with your pen in this section.
231
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:44,796
I'm still processing
232
00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:47,524
the "I read your journal
when I'm feeling blocked" part.
233
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:50,135
Gene, don't read your sister's
journal without asking.
234
00:07:50,286 --> 00:07:52,045
-Oh, look at that.
-Mom.
235
00:07:52,197 --> 00:07:53,697
So, we watching TV or what?
236
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:54,956
-We're songwriting.
-No, we're songwriting.
237
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,382
No parents.
It's a surprise.
238
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,551
Fine. I'll go watch
the computer with your father.
239
00:07:58,628 --> 00:08:00,145
Do we still have
your grandma's password?
240
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:01,705
[all]
It doesn't work anymore.
241
00:08:01,723 --> 00:08:03,223
-[Linda] Damn it.
-Tina, that stuff is better
242
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:05,025
than anything else
we're gonna come up with.
243
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,226
All it needs is some bongo.
244
00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:07,319
That's true about everything.
245
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:08,820
But it-it's embarrassing.
246
00:08:08,972 --> 00:08:11,231
W-What if Jimmy Junior comes
to the open mic night, he--
247
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:12,549
Wait, he may be busy.
248
00:08:12,642 --> 00:08:14,234
I think he has
a wrestling meet that night.
249
00:08:14,386 --> 00:08:16,386
Give me the journal.
He does. Hmm.
250
00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:19,146
Is it home or away?
It's away, that's good.
251
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,314
[quietly]
Everything's in there.
252
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,833
[quietly]
She's very thorough.
253
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:22,834
[sighs]
254
00:08:23,061 --> 00:08:24,151
Uh, I-I'll think about it.
255
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,611
I mean, it's personal,
the things I wrote
256
00:08:25,764 --> 00:08:28,081
and want to do,
so, probably... definitely not.
257
00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:30,157
-Sure, sure.
-Uh-huh, we respect that.
258
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,676
[Gene]
Okay, hot off
the presses, people.
259
00:08:31,828 --> 00:08:34,921
Take one and pass the stack.
Some of you know our band,
260
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,515
the Itty Bitty Ditty Committee.
261
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:39,166
Darryl and Peter are pursuing
a solo project called
262
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:40,577
"They Didn't Feel
Like Doing This,"
263
00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,762
so we're forming
a new group for this event.
264
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:44,430
[groans]
That's private. Excuse me.
265
00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:48,175
Thank you. I'll take that.
Gene, Louise, not okay.
266
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,111
We need to audition
people today.
267
00:08:51,106 --> 00:08:52,255
I mean, sorry?
268
00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:54,199
-Aah!
-She's just shy.
269
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,441
Teenagers.
Am I right?
270
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,594
-She'll come around.
-How about this?
271
00:08:57,612 --> 00:08:59,612
Who can get dropped off
at our house on Friday night?
272
00:08:59,765 --> 00:09:01,614
You're all in the band.
You saw some of the notes.
273
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,100
Learn 'em tonight.
The rhythm's like this.
274
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:05,769
[vocalizing wildly]
275
00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:07,361
Learn it, people.
276
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,106
[Teddy] You know, I'm thinking
about doing a song.
277
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:11,274
-With Mort.
-Oh, God.
278
00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:13,943
-What?
-I mean, uh, good. Yup.
279
00:09:13,962 --> 00:09:15,295
-He plays guitar.
-Uh-huh.
280
00:09:15,447 --> 00:09:17,222
You know, I give him
a hard time sometimes
281
00:09:17,449 --> 00:09:19,783
because he's annoying,
but i-it'd be fun.
282
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:22,060
He wants to do a bossa nova.
What's a bossa nova?
283
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,970
Uh, I think it's Latin Jazz?
284
00:09:24,122 --> 00:09:26,213
What? Why did I agree
to do this with Mort?
285
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,066
I don't have that kind
of sensuality!
286
00:09:28,217 --> 00:09:29,642
[playing piano]
287
00:09:29,795 --> 00:09:30,885
♪ ♪
288
00:09:30,979 --> 00:09:32,070
♪ Oh... ♪
289
00:09:32,297 --> 00:09:33,646
[band plays final note]
290
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,115
-So?
-[sighs]
291
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:37,133
Fine.
We can do the song.
292
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:39,995
Hey, save that fire
for the show.
293
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,397
Bob.
Mrs. Bob.
294
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,584
I'm here to make sure the piano
gets properly situated.
295
00:09:45,735 --> 00:09:48,235
-[Linda] The piano?
-Yes, it's in the truck.
296
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,479
We're gonna take
the window frame out,
297
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:51,147
crane in the piano,
then put the window back.
298
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,074
-You cats cool with that?
-What? N-no.
299
00:09:53,168 --> 00:09:56,410
Relax, Bob.
Hey, what you got there--
300
00:09:56,579 --> 00:09:58,338
some little tiny speakers
and a little tiny mixer?
301
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:02,083
Um, no. Normal-sized speakers
and a big-enough mixer.
302
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:03,343
We-we rented them.
303
00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,086
Well, I brought a system
from the wharf.
304
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,497
My voice just sounds tinny
on anything less than 500 watts.
305
00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:09,256
Don't worry.
I won't charge you for it.
306
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,501
It would have been good
to know this before.
307
00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:12,944
Can't get a refund.
308
00:10:13,171 --> 00:10:16,263
Hmm. Gonna be tight in here
with a nine-foot concert grand.
309
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,174
We'll need to remove
these stools.
310
00:10:18,193 --> 00:10:19,692
-No objection, I take it?
-[sighs]
311
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:22,362
And I'd love a little height.
Uh, okay if we put in a riser?
312
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,271
-[Bob] Mm.
-And curtains and lights,
of course.
313
00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:26,607
-[Bob] Of course.
-Wish it wasn't a burger place.
314
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,461
Too late to change that?
Couldn't it be a wine bar?
315
00:10:29,612 --> 00:10:31,546
-Ooh!
-Lin.
316
00:10:33,358 --> 00:10:34,874
Oh, I love the lights.
Magical.
317
00:10:35,026 --> 00:10:36,134
-Yup.
-All right.
318
00:10:36,361 --> 00:10:38,953
I borrowed this clipboard
from Mr. Frond at school
319
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,380
for our day-of sign-up sheet.
320
00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,790
It's day-of o'clock.
So let's sign up.
321
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,625
Going last: Louise,
322
00:10:44,719 --> 00:10:47,145
Gene, Tina and friends.
323
00:10:47,296 --> 00:10:50,297
Mom, are you gonna sign up?
You love to sing. Constantly.
324
00:10:50,392 --> 00:10:52,709
No, I was gonna sing something
with Gayle, but she's gonna go
325
00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:55,395
to that papier-mâché convention,
Mâché-micon.
326
00:10:55,547 --> 00:10:57,730
It's fine.
I'll be too busy working anyway.
327
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,974
-Slinging that hash,
making that cash.
-[entry bells chime]
328
00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:01,993
Making cash?
Huh-ho!
329
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:03,736
-Trying something new? Zoom!
-Bye, Jimmy.
330
00:11:03,889 --> 00:11:06,556
-Thanks for stopping by.
-[chuckles] I'm teasing, Bob.
331
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:09,242
Having an open mic night, huh?
That's dumb.
332
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,651
Bye, Jimmy.
Thanks for stopping by.
333
00:11:10,745 --> 00:11:12,745
You got to pay
a license fee for song rights.
334
00:11:12,822 --> 00:11:15,231
You know that, right?
And you can't weasel out of it,
335
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:19,569
'cause, you know, someone could
so easily drop a dime on you.
336
00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:22,663
Well, I already paid it, Jimmy,
so, uh, bye.
337
00:11:22,757 --> 00:11:25,425
Heh. Course, if you do, by
some miracle, pack the place,
338
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,411
then a concerned neighbor
could call the fire marshal
339
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:30,188
-to come count heads.
-Oh.
340
00:11:30,415 --> 00:11:31,264
[laughs]
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
341
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,506
You didn't think of that.
342
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,008
[chuckles] Yeah.
343
00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:36,177
Probably 'cause you don't even
know your maximum occupancy
344
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,603
because it never comes up.
345
00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:39,255
-That's a zoom.
-Hey, Jimmy,
346
00:11:39,257 --> 00:11:40,514
can I take a five-minute break
later tonight?
347
00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:42,367
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why'd you even come over here
348
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:45,370
-to ask me that?
-Can I get five minutes at 7:00?
349
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:46,854
Trev at 7:00.
350
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:47,947
Don't sign up for the thing.
351
00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:49,599
What?
I've got music in me.
352
00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,042
Andy and Ollie are singing, too.
353
00:11:51,269 --> 00:11:52,769
I know.
I'll be here.
354
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,487
-And watch me, also?
-Yeah, yeah.
355
00:11:54,639 --> 00:11:56,289
But I'm not gonna
be proud of anybody.
356
00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:59,366
Crap. Being over capacity--
I didn't think of that.
357
00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,444
-That fine would kill us.
-Maybe just exactly
358
00:12:01,537 --> 00:12:03,279
the right amount of people
will come?
359
00:12:03,372 --> 00:12:05,949
I don't know if it's the exact
right amount of people,
360
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,541
but, um, they're already here.
361
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,394
You've got a line.
362
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,471
-Yes!
-Oh.
363
00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:12,622
Do they look hungry?
364
00:12:12,715 --> 00:12:13,881
That guy's got takeout.
365
00:12:13,975 --> 00:12:15,216
Oh, and sorry, the band kids
366
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:16,550
are expecting free fries.
367
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,069
-[Bob groans]
-There's nothing I could do,
368
00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:19,654
it's in their contract.
369
00:12:23,969 --> 00:12:25,134
All right.
Welcome to open mic night
370
00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:26,469
at Bob's Burgers.
371
00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:27,487
First of many.
372
00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:29,138
[coughs]
Push the food.
373
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:30,749
Oh, and buy some food.
374
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:33,418
Gene didn't flick anything
into the meat grinder today.
375
00:12:33,678 --> 00:12:34,252
Oh, my God.
376
00:12:34,479 --> 00:12:35,736
Okay, let's start the show
377
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:39,406
with Andy and Ollie Pesto
doing "Moonlight Sonata."
378
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,741
I didn't know you guys
played the piano.
379
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,168
I thought you were singing.
380
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,745
-We don't play the piano.
-What's a piano?
381
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,015
[vocalizing]
382
00:12:57,352 --> 00:12:59,093
♪ Please, Mr. Postman ♪
383
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,354
♪ Look and see... ♪
Okay, it's my job.
384
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,841
♪ Is there a letter
in your bag for me? ♪
385
00:13:04,859 --> 00:13:07,026
Could be.
♪ You know, it's been ♪
386
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,120
♪ A really long time ♪
387
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:11,364
♪ Since I heard from ♪
388
00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,124
-♪ This girlfriend of mine... ♪
-[Trev] ♪ My friends ♪
389
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,963
♪ Feel it's their
appointed duty ♪
390
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:25,428
♪ They keep trying to tell me ♪
391
00:13:27,215 --> 00:13:30,683
♪ All you want to do
is use me... ♪
392
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,703
Eesh, somebody
hurt that guy, huh?
393
00:13:33,721 --> 00:13:36,205
-Mm. Mm-hmm.
-Uh-oh.
394
00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:37,315
You been counting
as people come in?
395
00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:39,466
-Uh, yeah.
-No, you haven't.
396
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,469
You can't count.
Might be overcrowded, Bob.
397
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:44,322
Excuse me,
I got to think of a good zoom
398
00:13:44,549 --> 00:13:46,382
to say to Trev
when he comes off.
399
00:13:46,401 --> 00:13:47,492
Oh, God.
400
00:13:47,643 --> 00:13:49,160
[whispers] Tina, Tina.
401
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,479
Uh, sorry, we're at capacity.
402
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,074
It's, uh, one in, one out
from now on.
403
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:56,909
[chuckles]
My young burger child,
404
00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:58,394
we're the star attraction.
405
00:13:58,413 --> 00:14:01,080
Sorry, fire code.
And I'm supposed to be muscle.
406
00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:04,417
-So, it, uh--
-Tell you what, we're gonna
push past you, Muscles.
407
00:14:04,569 --> 00:14:06,344
But as soon as I get in,
I'm gonna find two people
408
00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:08,346
and tell them
you said they have to leave.
409
00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:10,089
Okay, you're going in.
Yep.
410
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,426
♪ Good lovin' gone bad ♪
411
00:14:14,262 --> 00:14:16,337
♪ And it's usually too late ♪
412
00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:17,671
♪ When you ♪
413
00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:20,750
♪ Realize what you had ♪
414
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,012
♪ My mind goes back
to a girl I left ♪
415
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,031
♪ Some years ago ♪
416
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:29,016
♪ Who told me ♪
417
00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:32,328
♪ Just hold on loosely ♪
418
00:14:33,114 --> 00:14:35,373
♪ But don't let go... ♪
419
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,359
[whispers] Your Majesty,
please, I assure you,
420
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,620
this is one of
the hottest scenes in town.
421
00:14:40,772 --> 00:14:42,881
-I mean, it's all relative,
of course--
-The smell.
422
00:14:43,108 --> 00:14:45,199
It makes me sick!
It makes me sick!
423
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,609
-Hurtful.
-Very hurtful.
424
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:47,719
Hey, no one's eating.
425
00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:49,629
I'm just making fries
for band kids.
426
00:14:49,781 --> 00:14:51,797
I think everyone's
about to order a burger.
427
00:14:51,966 --> 00:14:54,041
-[entry bells chime]
-Oh, crap!
-What?
428
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,451
[Bob]
That's the fire marshal.
429
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:58,287
-Jimmy.
-I didn't call him, I swear.
430
00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,714
-Nice turnout.
-Y-- Uh, yep.
431
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,642
I was just on my way
to the papier-mâché convention--
432
00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:05,403
-highly flammable convention--
-Mâché-micon.
433
00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:07,313
when I heard
the music in here.
434
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:10,408
You know what the fine is
for being over capacity?
435
00:15:10,559 --> 00:15:11,743
I... I-I don't.
436
00:15:11,894 --> 00:15:14,137
Don't answer yet.
Guess what the fine is
437
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,413
for obstructing the main exit.
438
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:18,899
W-We're not obstructing
the main exit that much.
439
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,234
You just have to go like this
440
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,311
to get by the harp
and the speaker.
441
00:15:22,405 --> 00:15:24,756
-I'm shutting this down.
-[whimpers]
442
00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:30,411
-Shutting us down?
-And fining you.
443
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,930
-Don't gloss over that.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
444
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:33,322
Is someone shutting us down?
445
00:15:33,341 --> 00:15:35,324
-Louise.
-No! We haven't gone yet.
446
00:15:35,343 --> 00:15:37,660
We rehearsed two and half times.
447
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,845
What, is this guy
the fire marshal or something?
448
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,439
-Yes.
-Oh. Hi.
449
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:42,999
[fire marshal] You want to make
the announcement or should I?
450
00:15:43,017 --> 00:15:44,333
[Bob]
Oh, no, like,
451
00:15:44,352 --> 00:15:45,685
tell people they have to leave?
452
00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:47,278
That's how
getting shut down works.
453
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:49,263
Teddy and Mort, everyone.
Teddy and Mort.
454
00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:52,599
-[applause]
-Good thing you're a mortician,
Mort, 'cause you killed.
455
00:15:52,694 --> 00:15:54,360
I-It's just, we haven't sold
that many burgers.
456
00:15:54,512 --> 00:15:56,788
Could they order a bunch of food
to go before they leave?
457
00:15:57,015 --> 00:15:58,605
Seems like you want me
to shut it down.
458
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,291
Folks--
Oh. Marshmallow.
459
00:16:00,518 --> 00:16:02,460
-Marty.
-Oh, you-you know each other?
460
00:16:02,537 --> 00:16:04,611
Marty, you are not about
to mess with my moment.
461
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,856
-Were you gonna sing?
-For my parents.
462
00:16:06,949 --> 00:16:10,526
-I, um...
-They've never heard me sing.
463
00:16:10,545 --> 00:16:13,196
Uh, and they live far away,
and they're old.
464
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:14,621
-Oh... [chuckles]
-Marty,
465
00:16:14,716 --> 00:16:16,808
-who saved your life
in that nightclub?
-You did.
466
00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,718
And who never told anyone
that embarrassing way
467
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,461
you almost died
in that nightclub?
468
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,146
-You.
-And what were you doing
in that nightclub?
469
00:16:22,298 --> 00:16:23,539
Were you dancing, Marty?
470
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:25,391
-I was dancing, and-and--
-You were dancing
471
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,651
with an open flame,
weren't you, Marty?
472
00:16:26,878 --> 00:16:28,044
-I was--
-The fire marshal.
473
00:16:28,062 --> 00:16:29,821
Yes, I w-- I made a mistake.
474
00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:32,565
-And did you start
a fire, Marty?
-I-I did start a fire.
475
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,808
And I carried you
out of that building, Marty,
476
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:35,827
like a baby.
477
00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:37,328
Yes, I-I felt very safe.
478
00:16:37,555 --> 00:16:38,738
Louise, how many more acts?
479
00:16:38,890 --> 00:16:40,481
-Fischoeder, you, us.
-Marty.
480
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,392
Code enforcement
starts with this code.
481
00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:45,486
It doesn't, but you know what?
482
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,488
I counted wrong,
and those guys are leaving.
483
00:16:47,582 --> 00:16:49,415
A-And look at that,
they barely have to form
484
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:50,916
a single-file line
to push their way out.
485
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,159
I'm a big music fan.
486
00:16:52,253 --> 00:16:53,511
Did I tell you
I was a music fan?
487
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:55,329
-No.
-Great.
-Let's hear some music.
488
00:16:55,423 --> 00:16:56,830
Attaboy.
489
00:16:56,999 --> 00:16:58,182
Ladies and gentlemen,
490
00:16:58,409 --> 00:17:00,409
Mr. Calvin Fischoeder
and Her Majesty,
491
00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:03,412
the Princess Angelica Flavia.
492
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:05,606
♪ ♪
493
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,678
♪ Baby, it seems we never ♪
494
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,181
♪ Ever agree ♪
495
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,425
♪ I like the movies ♪
496
00:17:16,594 --> 00:17:19,428
♪ And I like TV ♪
497
00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:21,113
♪ I take things serious ♪
498
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,875
♪ And you take 'em light ♪
499
00:17:24,102 --> 00:17:26,193
♪ I go to bed early ♪
500
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,622
♪ And I party all night ♪
501
00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:31,290
♪ Our friends are saying ♪
502
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,509
♪ We ain't gonna last ♪
503
00:17:34,295 --> 00:17:36,612
♪ 'Cause I move slowly ♪
504
00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:39,223
♪ And baby, I'm fast ♪
505
00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:41,208
♪ I like it quiet ♪
506
00:17:41,302 --> 00:17:43,877
♪ And I love to shout ♪
507
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,805
♪ But when we get together ♪
508
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:49,141
♪ It just all works out... ♪
509
00:17:49,294 --> 00:17:51,402
Jimmy Jr!
Jimmy Jr. is here.
510
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:52,962
-That's not good.
-Hey, Tina.
511
00:17:52,964 --> 00:17:54,146
Hey, there, bud.
512
00:17:54,299 --> 00:17:55,556
I came straight here
from wrestling.
513
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,649
I didn't even change.
514
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:58,134
Yep, yep.
You are here.
515
00:17:58,303 --> 00:17:59,635
You are right here.
516
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:00,986
You seem kind of freaked out.
517
00:18:01,139 --> 00:18:02,914
Do I smell?
That's not my sweat.
518
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:04,490
-That's the other guy's.
-Uh-huh.
519
00:18:04,642 --> 00:18:05,825
Excuse me one sec.
520
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,585
-We can't do the song.
-Or we go the other way
521
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:10,162
-and we do the song.
-Nope. What's our backup plan?
522
00:18:10,315 --> 00:18:11,905
-Run?
-Tina, it's honest,
523
00:18:11,999 --> 00:18:13,482
it's raw and it's real.
524
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:15,651
-Also, we have nothing else.
-Damn it.
525
00:18:15,744 --> 00:18:17,503
[weak chuckle]
Let's get you a drink, huh?
526
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,004
You a water man?
Juice man?
527
00:18:19,157 --> 00:18:21,248
Uh, oh, yeah, you are covered
in someone else's sweat.
528
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,934
That's wrestling for you.
529
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:24,160
♪ ♪
530
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:25,177
♪ There's a road ♪
531
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:28,356
♪ I know I must go ♪
532
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,002
♪ Even though I tell myself ♪
533
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:35,696
♪ That road is closed ♪
534
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,859
♪ Listen, lonely seabird ♪
535
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:42,102
♪ You've been away from land ♪
536
00:18:42,196 --> 00:18:44,956
♪ Too long ♪
537
00:18:45,183 --> 00:18:47,625
♪ Oh, too long ♪
538
00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:52,446
♪ I don't listen ♪
539
00:18:52,523 --> 00:18:55,633
♪ To the news no more ♪
540
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,119
♪ Like an unwound clock,
I just ♪
541
00:18:59,213 --> 00:19:02,598
♪ Don't seem to care ♪
542
00:19:04,293 --> 00:19:07,036
♪ This world isn't big enough ♪
543
00:19:07,054 --> 00:19:08,479
♪ To keep me away ♪
544
00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:11,557
♪ From you ♪
545
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:15,570
♪ Oh, from you ♪
546
00:19:16,564 --> 00:19:18,972
♪ Seabird, seabird ♪
547
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:21,492
♪ Fly home ♪
548
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,979
♪ Seabird, seabird ♪
549
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:28,708
♪ Fly home ♪
550
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:33,078
♪ Seabird, seabird ♪
551
00:19:33,231 --> 00:19:36,081
♪ Fly home. ♪
552
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:38,384
[cheering, applause]
553
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:42,180
[Louise]
Marshmallow, everyone.
554
00:19:42,407 --> 00:19:44,498
Mr. F, we can
stand on this, right?
555
00:19:44,592 --> 00:19:46,909
-I do it almost every night.
-Folks, people,
556
00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:49,078
our open mic night
is almost over.
557
00:19:49,096 --> 00:19:52,023
Hey, how about a hand for
the kids behind the counter?
558
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,933
Just kidding.
They're not kids.
559
00:19:54,085 --> 00:19:55,251
Look how old they are.
560
00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:58,754
Um, did everyone order
three or four burgers?
561
00:19:58,773 --> 00:20:01,607
Hmm. This night might not
be the big moneymaker
562
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,183
we thought it would be.
563
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:04,518
Pass it around, people.
564
00:20:04,595 --> 00:20:06,537
Who wants to help us
dig out of the hole
565
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:09,448
that we, uh...
that some of us, uh, dug here?
566
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:10,599
[sighs]
567
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:12,043
-Oh.
-[Gene] Did you want to hear
568
00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:13,694
-one last song?
-[applause]
569
00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:14,861
[hyperventilating]
570
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,106
[whispers]
Tina, it's a good song.
571
00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:18,457
If we're gonna do this...
572
00:20:18,609 --> 00:20:20,701
-Jimmy Jr.!
-Yeah?
573
00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:22,386
-I hope you like it.
-What?
574
00:20:22,613 --> 00:20:26,891
-♪ A light goes on inside ♪
-[vocalizing]
575
00:20:27,118 --> 00:20:30,803
♪ When I behold your backside ♪
576
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,213
♪ A-one, two, three ♪
577
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,733
♪ I want to draw a face
on your butt and then kiss it ♪
578
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:38,294
♪ I want to draw a star
on your butt and then wish it ♪
579
00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:40,071
♪ I want to build a house
on your butt and then visit ♪
580
00:20:40,298 --> 00:20:42,573
♪ Put a big E on your butt,
it's explicit ♪
581
00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:44,800
-♪ You're a dancer, a wrestler ♪
-♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪
582
00:20:44,819 --> 00:20:47,636
♪ So you know
that butt's impress-ler... ♪
583
00:20:47,655 --> 00:20:49,896
-Mom, get up here.
-Yay!
584
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,157
♪ I want to draw a face
on your butt and then kiss it ♪
585
00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:54,252
♪ I want to draw a star
on your butt and then wish it ♪
586
00:20:54,328 --> 00:20:56,161
♪ I want to build a house
on your butt and then visit ♪
587
00:20:56,314 --> 00:20:58,238
♪ Put a big E on your butt,
it's explicit ♪
588
00:20:58,316 --> 00:21:00,649
-♪ You're a dancer, a wrestler ♪
-♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪
589
00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:02,835
♪ So you know
that butt's impress-ler ♪
590
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,004
-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow ♪
591
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:07,823
-♪ I want to draw a face
on your butt and then kiss it ♪
-♪ Kiss it ♪
592
00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:10,509
-♪ I want to draw a star
on your butt and then wish it ♪
-♪ Wish it ♪
593
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,586
-♪ I want to build a house
on your butt and then visit ♪
-♪ Visit ♪
594
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,438
♪ Put a big E on your butt,
it's explicit ♪
595
00:21:14,590 --> 00:21:16,757
-♪ Uh-huh ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
596
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,834
♪ I want to draw a face
on your butt and then kiss it ♪
597
00:21:18,927 --> 00:21:20,778
♪ I want to draw a star
on your butt and then wish it ♪
598
00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:22,613
♪ I want to build a house
on your butt and then visit ♪
599
00:21:22,765 --> 00:21:24,673
♪ Put a big E on your butt,
it's explicit ♪
600
00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:29,345
♪ Put it on your butt,
explicit, yeah. ♪
601
00:21:29,363 --> 00:21:31,455
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
602
00:21:31,532 --> 00:21:33,182
and TOYOTA.
603
00:21:33,275 --> 00:21:34,709
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org