1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 [♪ theme music playing] 2 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,398 [Linda] Yay! Tree Town Christmas Village. 3 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,025 Is it a town or is it a village? 4 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,945 It's a Christmas village located within the town of Tree. 5 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,947 Yeah, it used to be just a tree farm, 6 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,491 and then they started adding all this Christmas village stuff. 7 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,577 There's a cookie decorating station and a Cocoa Hut. 8 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,329 Oh, we know. Why do you think we agreed 9 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,373 to venture out and freeze our tiny butts off 10 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,707 on the coldest night of the year? 11 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,960 Yeah, my frozen ass wants some sugar. 12 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,254 -Gene. -Oh, this place is so cute. 13 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,172 You pay for everything with mistle-dough. 14 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,716 When we get in, we gotta exchange our money for mistle-dough. 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,134 Do we have to go through customs? 16 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,011 -I don't think so. -Oh, thank God. 17 00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,055 I have some unpasteurized cheese on me. 18 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:57,307 Not many cars, huh? Must be the cold. 19 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,476 And how people don't like to be out in weather 20 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,728 that makes you feel like you're gonna die. 21 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:04,064 Oh, look at these beautiful trees. 22 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,149 Just to be clear, we're not buying a tree, right, 23 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,401 'cause we already have one? 24 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,903 That we got in mid-November for some reason. 25 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,072 And you described it as your soul mate. 26 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,949 And you said it was the only thing you'd save 27 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,117 if there was a fire. 28 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,411 Hey. Just because we have a perfect tree at home 29 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,620 doesn't mean we can't look. 30 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,664 We're married, not buried, right, Bob? 31 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,291 -Um-- -Ooh. Look at that one. 32 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,375 Hello. 33 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,378 Oh, God. Logan. What's he doing here? 34 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,630 -[grunts] Heads up, Dad. -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 35 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,174 Louise, I know you don't like Logan, but it's Christmas. 36 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,844 The time for loving our neighbors and goodwill towards... 37 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,971 Oh, God, that punk-ass Cynthia is here, too. 38 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,180 Keep walking, keep walking. 39 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,433 Weren't you just saying how Christmas is a time for love-- 40 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,851 Yep, yep, yep. Let's go. 41 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,687 And pile on a little more. 42 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,439 Climb to the sky, Candy Tower. 43 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,816 It's a monument to the arrogance of man. 44 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,027 Geez, do you kids not care about esthetics, 45 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,195 or just how things look in general? 46 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,323 I mean, Gene, your cookie's all icing. 47 00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,407 There's a cookie? 48 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,451 And we're out of these. 49 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,120 Lin, I think the candy is for decorating. 50 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,496 Shh. It's fine, narc. 51 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,166 -[train horn honks] -Oh, it's a train, sort of. 52 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,918 [Tina] Huh. I didn't know trains could go between your knees like that. 53 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,087 Is this what that song "Crazy Train" is about? 54 00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,423 Looks fun-ish. Should we go do that? 55 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:12,799 Sure. I've straddled worse. 56 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,719 Okay. But then let's find this famous Cocoa Hut. 57 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,679 Some locomotion and then cocoa-motion? 58 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:18,764 -Sound good? -Deal. 59 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,641 Mom, Dad, you kids cool if we split? 60 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,351 Okay. Here, take some mistle-dough. 61 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,727 Don't spend it all in one place. 62 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:24,895 But spend it all here because 63 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,897 I don't think this money works in the real world. 64 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,857 -Okay, bye. -Here. Guard these with your life. 65 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,442 -And guard mine the most. -[Bob] Mmm. 66 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,861 Whoa, whoa, guys, wait. I just realized. 67 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,364 We haven't decorated cookies for Santa yet. 68 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,199 -You can give him those. -Sorry, what? 69 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:40,452 No. These are a shameless way to get sugar into our faces. 70 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:44,164 No. Uh-uh. Santa deserves a beautiful dignified cookie. 71 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,958 -Not these. -Yeah. These are trash. 72 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,085 Sorry, but come on. 73 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,462 You have such a good point, Dad. Will you do it? 74 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:53,298 Please. You seem to have a lot of thoughts about this. 75 00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,092 And we've got a train to catch. 76 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,968 [sighs] Okay, fine. 77 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,929 I'll decorate some for Santa. 78 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,056 But only because there's a heater here 79 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,016 and I like the idea of not walking around. 80 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,393 -Thanks. Bye! -[both] Bye. 81 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,686 Okay, bye, kids. 82 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,188 We'll meet your little cabooses back here when you're done. 83 00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:09,731 I guess it's just you and me now. 84 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:10,816 -I'm gonna go. -What? 85 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,651 I'll take a quick lap to look at the trees. 86 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:13,985 You know, check out the talent. 87 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,029 I don't want to be all alone in the Cookie Hut. 88 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,448 Oh, you'll be fine. And it doesn't look creepy at all, 89 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,866 a grown man by himself in here. 90 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,077 Okay, I'll be back soon. Love you. Bye. 91 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,537 [sighs] Yup. 92 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,373 -Hi. -That man is sad. 93 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,041 I know, honey. Don't stare. 94 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,419 Looks like we have the train to ourselves. 95 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,838 Yeah. Coming here when it's so cold that my face hurts 96 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,297 definitely has its perks. 97 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,842 -Three, please. -All aboard the Christmas Steamer. 98 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,135 One mistle-dough to ride. 99 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,554 I took a Christmas steamer this morning. 100 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,222 [Louise] You did. You really did. 101 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,224 [Tina] Just looking for the seatbelts on this thing. 102 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,851 Anyone else seeing seatbelts? 103 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,102 -No? -[Logan] Hup. 104 00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,272 Hey, you little kiddies enjoying the kiddy train? 105 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,357 Ugh. We were. 106 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,317 Hey, why don't you go ruin someone else's 107 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,027 Tree Town Christmas Village experience? 108 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,320 Nope. Not leaving. 109 00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,449 My parents drag me here every year to get our tree. 110 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:01,575 And every year, 111 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,453 I ride this turd train until the nightmare's over. 112 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,121 Nice to have Christmas traditions. 113 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,498 So while they argue about what tree to get, 114 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,292 using "I feel" statements, 115 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,128 I come here and stunt this train. 116 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,963 You "stunt" the train? 117 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,548 [laughs] Oh, yeah. 118 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,341 Train stunts. Jumping off the train, 119 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,593 jumping back on the train, 120 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,803 interacting with the holiday decor. 121 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,805 I'd show you the videos I made last year, 122 00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,515 but my parents took my phone away 123 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,142 because I got a C in Spanish. 124 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:30,020 Isn't that good? I thought "Sí" was Spanish. 125 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,229 I wouldn't know. 126 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,356 But what about that guy? Won't he get mad? 127 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,233 The conductor? [laughs] 128 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,902 Tss. He's checked out. 129 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,863 And also, I don't think he can physically turn around. 130 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,365 Speaking of! [grunts] 540! 131 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,826 Did somebody page the Spin Doctors? 132 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,995 My dad's second favorite band. Look them up. 133 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,206 Oh, look at that tree. 134 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,707 Oh, look at that tree. 135 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,001 Ooh, look at that one. Hi, tree. You're looking at me? 136 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:56,588 Oh. And I bet you guys have great personalities. 137 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,672 [motor whirring] 138 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,384 [screams] What the hell are you doing? 139 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,386 Excuse me! 140 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,139 -Hello! -What? Are you talking to me? 141 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,308 What are you doing to those trees? 142 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,977 Uh, we take the trees that don't sell, and we chip them up 143 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:13,313 to use them as mulch for the next year's crop. 144 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,358 What? You're feeding Christmas trees to Christmas trees? 145 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,527 That's a weird way to put it, but yeah. 146 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,904 Anyway, I'd better get back to it. 147 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,782 By the way, this area's employees only, ma'am. 148 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,492 -Please step back. -Oh, my God. 149 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,618 Why? 150 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,703 [dry heaving] 151 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,667 Oh. What wonderful cookies. 152 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,252 And look at those. 153 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,255 Uh, my kids did those. Don't look at them. 154 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,422 I did this one. 155 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,299 -Oh. -Yeah, I was trying something. 156 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,301 I used sprinkles to make a star. 157 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,970 Good job, sir. 158 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,264 Thanks. Yeah, I think it turned out pretty good... 159 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,350 Oh, you walked away. Mrs. Claus liked my cookie. 160 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,355 Twirl jump. Run real fast. 161 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,900 [grunts] Surf the train. 162 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,944 -[Louise] Pfft. -Did you just "Pfft" me? 163 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,196 Yeah, that's right. And here's another one. Pfft. 164 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,282 Like you could do it, Louise. 165 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,533 Uh, yeah, I could. 166 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:07,742 -Maybe don't-- -Twirl jump. 167 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:08,994 [Tina] Oh, you're doing it. 168 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,161 [pants] Run real fast. 169 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,539 -Surf the train. -[train horn honking] 170 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,332 Oh, darn. Ride's over. No more train stunts. 171 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,585 Exit to your right. Happy holidays. 172 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,462 The train was slowing down. Doesn't count. 173 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,298 Actually, I just talked to my accountant, 174 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,424 and it does count. 175 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,426 My train stunt game is strong. 176 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,761 Your train stunt game is stunted. 177 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,806 Oh, yeah? How about a train stunt-off? 178 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,684 Oh. Or maybe not do that? Did someone say "Cocoa Hut"? 179 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,186 You're on, moron. What are we stunting for? 180 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,273 Winner gets the loser's mistle-dough, all of it. 181 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:39,482 -Oh, my. -Um, 182 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,360 but won't you spend all your mistle-dough on the ride? 183 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,486 "Good point, Tina." 184 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,864 Watch this. One, please. 185 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,908 [conductor] All aboard the Christmas Steamer. 186 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,242 One mistle-dough to ride. 187 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,244 [laughs] Fake dough drop. 188 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,747 See, Tina? Problem solved. Come on, let's go. 189 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,790 I mean, maybe Christmas isn't the time 190 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,751 to have a stupid showdown with Logan. 191 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,878 Yeah. Christmas is for ham, not beef. 192 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,464 -Know what I'm saying? -Disagree. I think it's the best time. 193 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,883 You don't have to come. How about I meet you at Cocoa Hut? 194 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,968 I'm not gonna just leave you here to do train stunts. 195 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,471 Mom and Dad would never forgive me if you fell under the wheels 196 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,306 of a miniature train during holiday season. 197 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,183 And I can't go get cocoa by myself. 198 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,977 I'm too adorable. I'll get hit on like crazy. 199 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:19,064 -Ugh. Fine. -Great. Paying my dough, sir. 200 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:22,359 -[Tina] One. -[Gene] Keep the change. [laughs] 201 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,235 Nothing wrong here. Everything aboveboard. 202 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,446 Choo-choo, my good man. [chuckles] 203 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,411 Okay. So, how are we gonna do this? 204 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,704 One of us does a stunt, 205 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,499 and then the other person has to do it exactly the same, 206 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:41,503 or they lose their dignity and all their mistle-dough. 207 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,046 Here's an idea for a stunt. 208 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,381 Who can sit still the longest? 209 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,091 Peter Pescadero takes a pill for that. 210 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:48,176 I got one. Check it, dweeblings. 211 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:51,805 High-five, Santa. 212 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,307 Side roll over the present. 213 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,603 And back on before the bridge. 214 00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,938 Merry Stunt-mas. 215 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,898 Not bad, but not good. 216 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,149 Like what your mom said 217 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,859 -when you came out of her butt. -Um... 218 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:08,279 But my mom rejoiced when I came out of her butt. 219 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:11,783 So you gonna stunt that stunt or did I just win already? 220 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:12,909 [Louise grumbles] 221 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,953 Oh, come on! 222 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,789 These sweet ugly trees deserve a chance 223 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,749 to find good homes just as much as the hotties 224 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,501 with the bodies that you've got up front. 225 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,711 [sighs, turns off motor] 226 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:25,839 Look, I appreciate how much you love these trees, 227 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,257 or let's say I do, 228 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,592 but the thing is, I also want to stop talking to you 229 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,969 and get back to what I was doing. 230 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,138 Does that make you feel like we're done here, 231 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,222 I hope, maybe? 232 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,515 Oh, whatever. 233 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,392 [motor whirring] 234 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,312 I'm getting you guys out of here. Come on. 235 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:42,439 Shh. Act casual. 236 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,315 I'll come back for you other trees. 237 00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,359 Don't look at me like that. I will. 238 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:49,696 [Bob] I'm gonna call you Frosting the Snowman. 239 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,323 Daddy, make mine look like that man's. 240 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,325 Oh, uh, I don't know how to... 241 00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,703 Um, how do you make your snowman look so good? 242 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,247 Mine looks like it has big scary nipples. 243 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,874 I wouldn't say scary. 244 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:04,377 I think you just want them to be up and down like buttons 245 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,213 and not next to each other like nipples. 246 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,132 Got it. You really know your stuff. 247 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,176 Yeah. You did it again. 248 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,385 You put them side by side. 249 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,095 Oh. Look at that. I did. 250 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,306 Yeah. Do you want me to just do it for you? 251 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,474 I'm happy to... 252 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,100 -Please. -Thank God. 253 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,187 In stunting position, and... [grunts] 254 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,691 High-five Santa. Ah. 255 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,862 Hoo. Roll over the present. [grunts] 256 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,822 [panting] 257 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,324 Back on before the bridge. 258 00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,493 [catching breath] That was easy. 259 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,244 -Pfft. -Yeah, and your little shriek 260 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,329 sounded super-brave. 261 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,248 -Thank you. -And now let's just enjoy the bridge. 262 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,834 We're like seven inches above the valley floor. 263 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,170 Really puts things in perspective, you know. 264 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,506 Okay, my turn to pick a stunt. 265 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,175 We have to jump up onto that tunnel, 266 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,260 run across the top, jump off the other side, 267 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,345 back onto the train. 268 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,013 -Nope. Nope. Nope. -What? 269 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,015 Because I'll break many of my little bones? 270 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,351 Probably right. I'll think of something else. 271 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,394 How about making a boom-boom in your diaper? 272 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,231 [Gene] Good luck. I can never poop when I'm traveling. 273 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,024 Psst. 274 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:09,526 Psst. 275 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,779 Hi. That's a beautiful tree you got your eye on there. 276 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,907 And lucky you, because today it's buy one, get one free. 277 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,034 So you get to take home two Christmas trees. 278 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,161 -Oh, uh... -I know what you're thinking. 279 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,622 One's gonna be jealous of the other and they're gonna fight, 280 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,707 and you'll be up all night with fighting trees. 281 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,460 But once they get to know each other, they can be friends. 282 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:28,878 Or maybe even more than friends. 283 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,463 Who knows? None of my business. 284 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,798 Sorry. Do you work here? 285 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,424 Kinda. Not really. 286 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,885 -Um, okay. No, thanks. -But it's free. 287 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,637 -I'd like a free tree. -You would? 288 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,763 That's great. 289 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,306 Yeah. I'm gonna use it for firewood. 290 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,142 Get out! Get out of here! 291 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,563 Scoop some snow, feed it to choir penguin 292 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,524 and back on the train! Whoo! 293 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,442 So just do that. 294 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:55,530 How about I do it like that, but add grace and elegance. 295 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,574 Grace and Elegance. I love that show. 296 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,075 Lily Tomlin is my hall pass! 297 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,816 Okay. Should we call it? Me cocoa now? 298 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,360 -This guy's down for some hot brown. -Me too, Louise. 299 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,862 Can we get off this train, please? 300 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,573 Not that it hasn't been really fun, and cold, and long. 301 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,575 Yeah, Louise, you should quit 302 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:44,245 and just admit I'm better than you in every way. 303 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,331 Exit to your right. Happy holidays. 304 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,459 Guys, I can't quit now. I'm wearing Logan out. 305 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,711 He's tired. He's old. 306 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,254 I'm so close to winning this. 307 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,173 Just one more round, please. 308 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,633 As your Christmas present to me. 309 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,676 Plus the real Christmas presents you'll give me. 310 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,970 -Ugh. Fine. One more round. -Thank you. 311 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,889 I'm numb from the waist down, anyway. 312 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,475 What's a few more minutes of not feeling my penis? 313 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,768 Saddle up, Logan. 314 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,978 One more round, I take you down. 315 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,230 All right, then, Louise. 316 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,190 Guess I'll continue to humiliate you 317 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,442 under these beautiful winter stars. 318 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,445 Okay, bud, I'll hold Nebkin while you're on the train, all right? 319 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,571 I want to keep Nebkin. 320 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,990 No, no, I'll keep him safe with me and baby Mason. 321 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,158 Nebkin! I want Nebkin! 322 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,035 Okay. Here you go. Easy, bud. You know best. 323 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,037 -You don't. You're four. -Four and a half! 324 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,121 Okay. Okay. 325 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,375 All right, Logan, ready to lose? 326 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,127 The only thing I'm gonna lose is my inhibitions 327 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,462 when I go above and beyond 328 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,382 what I ever thought I was capable of, son. 329 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:38,466 Oh, yeah? 330 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,510 Well, check this out, buttcracker. 331 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,594 [grunts] 332 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,596 Under the gingerbread man, 333 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,099 over the polar bear, 334 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,393 through the trees, 335 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,019 jump off the rock. 336 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,273 Whoa-oh-oh. Yeah! 337 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,986 -[screams] -Uh-oh. 338 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,570 Nebkin! 339 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:00,989 Oh, boy. 340 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,324 -What did you just do? -[sobbing] 341 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,244 [conductor] Sounds like somebody back there is excited to ride a train. 342 00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:08,121 I get it. Whee. 343 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,875 [sobbing] 344 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,711 Nebkin. 345 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,755 [shushes] It's okay. I'm gonna get him. 346 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,466 -Your "Knobling"? -Nebkin! 347 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,553 God, Louise, this was a train stunt-off. 348 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,140 Not a train destroy-the-Christmas of-an-innocent-child-off. 349 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,349 -Shush! -I mean, if it was that, 350 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:29,434 you would have won. 351 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,060 -Definitely would have won. -Thank you! 352 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,812 -What's wrong, bud? -[baby crying] 353 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,605 Oh, God, where's Nebkin? 354 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,149 -[bawling] -Oh, God. 355 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,026 Uh, hi, yeah. We saw it. 356 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,695 It was just a crazy freak accident. 357 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,655 No one to blame at all. [chuckles nervously] 358 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,490 Guys, we gotta get that stuffy back. 359 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,409 -[both] Uh-huh. -Even if it takes all night. 360 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,911 [conductor] Okay, folks, last ride before we close. 361 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,413 -Oh, God. -[train horn honking] 362 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,167 Sir, conductor man, can you please look 363 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,377 for my son's stuffed-animal dog-shaped thing? 364 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,921 -Nebkin! -It's called Nebkin. 365 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,423 We'll look for your son's napkin. 366 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,300 Oh, no, no. "Nebkin." It's Nebkin. 367 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,052 Yeah, and we're looking, too. 368 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,429 Uh, we'll bring it back safe and sound. 369 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:10,391 But just in case, is it like a super-important stuffy, 370 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,226 or kind of in the middle? 371 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,021 It's very important. It's Grady's favorite stuffy. 372 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,189 He can't sleep without it. 373 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,983 Uh-huh. But like, you could get another one 374 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,693 -if you had to. -No. 375 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,279 Nebkin's the last thing my dad gave Grady 376 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,198 -before he died. -Okay. 377 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,491 -Got it. -[Logan] Wow. 378 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,035 You took a toy from a child. 379 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,828 You're like the anti-Santa. 380 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,288 Are you trying to say Santana? 381 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,207 Ugh, Logan, why are you still here? 382 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,084 I'm not a monster like you, Louise. 383 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,127 I'm gonna rescue that kid's stuffy, 384 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,422 and save the world like little baby Jesus did. 385 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,883 No, I'm gonna save the stuffy. I'm baby Jesus. 386 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,343 -I'm baby Jesus. -[Tina] Stop it! 387 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:48,429 Christmas is not the time to be talking about little baby Jesus! 388 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,389 [humming] 389 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,226 It's fine. 390 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,645 Now the Cocoa Cabin's gonna have a Christmas tree. 391 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,730 Everybody wins. You're welcome. 392 00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,233 So pretty. Oh, my God, it's on fire. 393 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,361 -[exclaiming] Ow. -[sighs] Ma'am. 394 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,197 Okay, fine. We're leaving. But we're taking the tinsel. 395 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,699 Okay, I won't take the tinsel, but I want a cocoa. 396 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,327 One cocoa, please. You are complicit. 397 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,622 So I knew I wanted to use the peppermints as the ears, 398 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,833 but I was like, how am I gonna do the fur? 399 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,085 And that's when I saw the candy cane 400 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,419 that someone had smushed. 401 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,713 Candy cane splinters in an interesting way, 402 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,674 and it kind of looks like fur. 403 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,509 -[all] Ooh. -It does, it does. 404 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,220 So I guess what I'm saying is, be bold. 405 00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,305 Make the cookie your cookie. 406 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,057 That's what gives it meaning. 407 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,684 Um, excuse me, sir. 408 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,186 Please, I'm one of you. Call me Bob. 409 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,939 Uh-huh, yeah. Well, we're closing soon, 410 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,191 so could you maybe stop what you're doing? 411 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,776 Uh, uh, okay. 412 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,028 Uh, can I just stay near the heat lamp 413 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,488 until my family comes for me? 414 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,699 -Um... -I have a family. 415 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,993 -They were here before. -Of course they were. 416 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,202 Why would I lie? 417 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,537 Yup. No. Why would you? 418 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,455 I guess for the heat, but... [stammers] 419 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,999 ...but I have a family, 420 00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,375 -I swear. -Uh-huh. 421 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,003 All right, coming up on Nebkin. 422 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,255 Maybe I'll use that teddy bear's ice skate 423 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,506 to saw off a branch, 424 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,884 and use it to hook Nebkin when we go by. 425 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:08,968 Oh, I have an idea. 426 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,636 Maybe you should saw off a-- [mimics fart] 427 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,847 And use it to-- [mimics fart] 428 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,265 Saw this off. [mimics fart] 429 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,017 Ugh. I can't take it anymore. 430 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,144 As a wise woman in red glasses once said, 431 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,979 Christmas is about loving your neighbor. 432 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,314 Sally Jessy Raphael? 433 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,607 No. Mom. Look, 434 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,983 that stuffy is way the hell up there. 435 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,443 You two are gonna have to work together 436 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,153 if you're gonna get even close to reaching it. 437 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,738 Logan, you have to stand on your seat. 438 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,823 And, Louise, you have to stand on Logan's shoulders. 439 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,450 And then Gene and I will hold Logan's legs 440 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,618 to keep you guys steady, okay? 441 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:36,078 Ugh! I don't want to stand on Logan. 442 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,873 My feet will probably catch his shoulder warts. 443 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,791 I don't want your feet on my shoulders. 444 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,126 You probably got fart feet. 445 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,170 As a matter of fact, I do have fart feet. 446 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,130 Cut it the frick out! Be enemies later. 447 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,632 -Fine. Whatever. -Okay. 448 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,009 But what if we crash into the tunnel? 449 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,844 I don't really want to get my head chopped off. 450 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,430 That's where I'm gonna grow my goatee someday. 451 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,224 Well, just grab Nebkin 452 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,142 and drop down before your head gets chopped off. 453 00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,602 Logan, stand up and then crouch down. 454 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,687 -Confusing instructions already. -Shush. 455 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,106 Gene and I are gonna get you in position. Just do what I say. 456 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,858 Oh, mighty Santa, please let them not die. 457 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:06,943 [both grunting] 458 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,986 Get up better. 459 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,071 Where are your shoulders? 460 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,365 Do you not know what shoulders are? 461 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,866 I'm just gonna stand on your neck. 462 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,826 [Logan groaning] Oh. I just realized 463 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:18,329 it'll probably be your head that gets chopped off. Cool. 464 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,790 Well, if it does, I hope it bites you on the way down. 465 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,958 Guys, focus! 466 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,960 The train's going pretty slow, so that's helpful. 467 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:27,004 [conductor] Okay, kids, I always speed things up 468 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,674 for the last ride of the night for a little extra fun, 469 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,384 but mostly to be done sooner. 470 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,552 -What? -No! 471 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:35,304 -Here we go. -No, conductor. Bad conductor. 472 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,099 -[horn honking] -[all screaming] 473 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,271 [both] Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 474 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,522 Okay, there's Nebkin. 475 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,690 Logan, get taller. 476 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,025 I've been trying to do that since sixth grade. 477 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,736 [straining] Engaging core muscles. 478 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,071 [groaning] 479 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,656 I don't know if I can reach it! 480 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,658 [straining] Hurry. Hurry. 481 00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,245 Got it! Crouch down, crouch down! 482 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,330 Oof. [groans] 483 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,833 Louise! Are you alive? 484 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,084 [Gene] Or are you just legs now? 485 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,044 It's okay. We'll accept you either way. 486 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,170 [Louise] I'm alive. 487 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,923 Just hanging on a tunnel with my very weak arms. 488 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,593 Um, so maybe carefully lower yourself down? 489 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:14,927 Okay. 490 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,012 Four... 491 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,055 [Tina] Wait. What are you doing? 492 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:20,641 I'm running! 493 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,018 [screaming] 494 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,352 Louise, no! 495 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,938 Don't do the tunnel thing! Just do safety! 496 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,857 [grunts] My undercarriage. 497 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,193 Yes! [panting] I did it! 498 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,570 -Whoa. -Holy crap. 499 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,573 -Damn. -Nebkin, you're going home, pal. 500 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,701 Wow. You are just covered in little-boy snot, aren't you? 501 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,455 Ugh. I'm sorry. I failed you, trees. 502 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,582 May God have mercy on your souls. 503 00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,168 I just don't understand why they have to smell like that. 504 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,628 You mean like a pine tree? 505 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:49,754 Ugh, Cynthia. 506 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,965 [Tom] Oh, I guess a hundred million years of evolution must be wrong. 507 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,509 Tom, there are people that don't like pine smell. 508 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,511 Yeah, they're called sociopaths. 509 00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:58,679 What about this one? 510 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,014 Uh, huh. 511 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,058 That one? Kind of sparse, 512 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,060 might not support the weight of ornaments. 513 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,895 Also, I don't like looking at it. 514 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,480 Well, I like the way it doesn't smell. 515 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:08,689 I'm bonding with this one, 516 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,900 more than I'm bonding with my husband right now, frankly. 517 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,568 All right, easy. 518 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,654 My girl wants the ugliest tree, 519 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,530 my girl gets the ugliest tree. 520 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:17,948 -Aww. -Love you, hon. 521 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,241 I think your mom was wrong. 522 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,743 We are gonna make it. 523 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,453 Oh, bye, tree. 524 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,537 Cynthia's awful, 525 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,373 but still better than a wood chipper. 526 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:26,624 Maybe. Right? 527 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,626 [horn honks] 528 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,795 Okay, that's it for tonight, folks. 529 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:33,130 Exit to your right. Happy holidays. 530 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:34,882 [groaning] 531 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:36,926 -[sobbing] -Okay, hold on, bud. 532 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,010 The train's back. 533 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,804 I'm gonna ask the train man if he maybe-- 534 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,263 -Here you go. -Nebkin! 535 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,599 -Oh, thank God. -Yeah, you're welcome. 536 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,518 -You did this. -I did. 537 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,727 -I did. -She did it. 538 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:47,853 You threw him into-- 539 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:48,938 I brang him back to you... 540 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,773 -She brought it back. -...safely. That's right. 541 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,066 Hey! He's so sweet. Great age. 542 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,317 Merry Christmas. 543 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,985 Here, take my mistle-dough. 544 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,737 -You won. -Yeah, I did. 545 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,406 This place usually blows, 546 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:01,242 but that was kind of the most fun I ever had here. 547 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,494 Yeah, I guess I didn't have the worst time of my life. 548 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,413 Aww. Look at you two. Peace and goodwill. 549 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:08,499 Later, holi-dorks. Hope your presents suck. 550 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,835 Bye. I hope a reindeer farts in your face. 551 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,253 -Yep. Okay. -Come on, guys. 552 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,047 Better hurry up and spend this before the place closes. 553 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,341 Let's go blow our dough and drink our dinner. 554 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,469 [Gene] Yeah. These lips are ready for some sips, baby! 555 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,012 [Tina] Let's head on down to Cocoa-mo. 556 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,683 The cookies you made for Santa look very nice, Bob. 557 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,435 -Kids, thank your father. -Thanks, Dad. 558 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,811 -Thanks, Papa. -Thank you, my boy. 559 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,479 I'm not sure I want Santa to eat them. 560 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,897 I kind of feel like they should be put 561 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,524 behind glass in a museum. 562 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:34,692 Father, those cookies 563 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,193 are gonna get turned into Santa poop 564 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,028 -whether you like it or not. -[Bob] Mmm. 565 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,697 -What the... -It's fine. 566 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,366 -Everyone in. -Did a forest barf on our car? 567 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,534 Lin, what did you... 568 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,453 We can't have all these trees in our apartment. 569 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:47,913 Sure, we can. Who wants a Christmas tree in their room? 570 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,039 -Me! -I do! 571 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:51,292 And that leaves one for the kitchen and one for the bathroom. 572 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,128 You see, Bob, this is the exact right amount of Christmas trees for us. 573 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:56,464 -I feel bad for the bathroom one. -Oh, please. 574 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,299 These uggos gotta take what they can get. 575 00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,134 Just kidding. You're beautiful. 576 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,762 ♪ Your limbs are bare ♪ 577 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,138 ♪ But I don't care ♪ 578 00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:06,223 ♪ You got weird brown needles ♪ 579 00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,850 ♪ Just everywhere ♪ 580 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,269 ♪ You're not shaped like a triangle ♪ 581 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:12,938 ♪ You're shaped like a really sad square ♪ 582 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:14,857 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 583 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:18,444 ♪ But no tree can be ugly ♪ 584 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,446 ♪ On Christmas ♪ 585 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,448 ♪ If there were mirrors in the woods ♪ 586 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,658 ♪ Well, you would have cracked them ♪ 587 00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:27,995 ♪ You look a little bit like a piney rectum ♪ 588 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:31,791 ♪ But no tree can be ugly ♪ 589 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,876 ♪ On Christmas ♪