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♪
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LINDA:
Oh, I love the flea market.
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You never know
what you're gonna find.
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Hopefully not fleas.
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You kids looking for
anything in particular?
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-Knives.
-A really loud musical
instrument would be nice.
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-Hatchet.
-Maybe something
of the plastic horse variety.
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Nunchucks.
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And what about you, Bob?
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Well, I'll be looking for
old cast iron pans.
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-To use as a weapon?
-For cooking.
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But as a weapon, I guess,
if it came to it.
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Like if you had to
fend off a Hamburglar?
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-Maybe.
-Just be careful, Dad.
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Thank you, Tina.
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Okay, kids, here's
a couple of bucks each.
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-Go nuts.
-(phone vibrating)
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Or buy some nuts.
Other people's used nuts.
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-Hey, Gayle.
-Linda, is it dangerous
to eat a tangerine
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with a carrot?
They're both orange.
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-It's fine.
I've done it many a time.
-Okay, bye.
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-(sighs) That was Gayle.
-Did she want to know
if it was okay
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to combine something
with something else?
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Yeah. Orange foods.
It's okay, right?
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GENE: What are all these small
pictures of baseball players?
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They don't look that athletic,
but they are holding bats.
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-Is this guy smoking?
-Oh, yeah.
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Oh, look at that sweater.
Ooh, look at that rug.
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Ooh, look at the painting.
Sunset.
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Is it a good painting, Bob?
I can't tell.
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Me neither. H-How do you tell
if a painting is good?
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I don't know. Shapes?
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Lin, I just don't know
if we need
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a steamer trunk
full of old TV Guides.
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Oh, my God!
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LINDA:
The Wheelie frickin' Mammoth!
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Bob, it's
the Wheelie frickin' Mammoth!
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-I know.
-It found us!
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How did it find us?
Why did it find us?
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We got rid of it.
Are we cursed?
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It's not our fault.
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The kids completely
stopped playing with it.
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BOB: And it was way too big
for our apartment.
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LINDA: Way too big.
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(strained grunting)
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(grunting)
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♪ Wooly mammoth... ♪
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(grunting)
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Aah!
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And it's not like
we planned on getting rid
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of our kids' huge toy.
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-It just happened.
-Yeah. The truck
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was just... it was there.
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BOB:
And the kids were at school.
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They didn't
play with it anymore.
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(both straining)
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And we thought they would
just kind of forget about it.
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-We were sure they'd forget.
-But then they didn't.
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LOUISE:
Oh, hey, Mom, Dad,
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have you guys seen
the Wheelie Mammoth anywhere?
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We want to jump off
the fire escape and land on him.
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Um, first of all,
don't jump off the fire escape.
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Isn't that what fire escapes
are for?
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That's what fire escapes
are for, Dad.
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Yeah, it's safe.
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Uh, no. Secondly,
uh, we thought you guys
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didn't really play
with Wheelie Mammoth anymore,
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so, um, we donated it.
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KIDS:
You what?!
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You got rid
of the sixth Belcher?!
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-Uh, yeah.
-Months ago.
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And, uh, you're
only noticing now, I might add.
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How could you?
Is your heart made of stone?
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Well, we donated it
to a-a special place
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that'll make you guys
not mad at us.
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Um, somewhere Wheelie
could live a better life.
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To a roller rink.
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Uh, yeah.
'Cause it's got wheels.
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The roller rink in town?
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Uh, no, no.
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A different town.
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Still kind of mad here, people.
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Trying not to lose my cool.
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Why would you do that?!
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Uh, 'cause these aren't just,
uh, regular kids.
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They're, um...
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-Orphans!
-Yup.
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They're orphans. Yup.
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Sad little orphans,
with soot-covered faces,
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and the only joy in their lives
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is getting out on the rink
with that mammoth.
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-GENE: Hmm.
-Yeah, and we've been wanting
to tell you guys,
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but we were waiting for...
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A-A signed thank-you card
from all the orphans.
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I don't know
what's taking them so long.
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Uh, maybe they're busy
with orphan stuff.
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Scrubbing floors and stairs...
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Hiding in laundry baskets,
singing about tomorrow.
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Huh. And you guys
are for real right now?
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-Promise.
-Absolutely.
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Well, I guess Wheelie
is probably having a better life
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at that rink than it was here.
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And doing more good.
It tripped me a lot.
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Like, a lot.
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If you'll excuse me,
I'm going to my room
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to write a tribute song
about Wheelie.
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I'm thinking of calling it
"Rollin' Down the River,"
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if that's not taken.
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Or "Dream On," if it is.
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LINDA:
And now the bastard's here.
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I'm freaking out.
What do we do?
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Do we-do we
tell the kids the truth
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about how we didn't
tell them the truth before?
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Are you nuts? They'd never
look at us the same way again.
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It'll be all right--
my parents lied to me and Gayle
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-all the time.
-Uh-huh.
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But Gayle
turned out to be Gayle.
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We cannot let the kids see this.
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Okay, let's think.
Wh-What are out options?
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-Besides telling the truth?
-Oh, yeah, besides that.
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This palomino is now
a pal-o'-mine-o. (chuckles)
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Hey, guys, I'm gonna go show
Mom and Dad my new horse
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and probably say that palomino/
pal-o'-mine-o thing again
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-to them again.
-Yeah, you definitely should.
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You're gonna love my room.
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It smells pretty okay
most of the time.
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You're used to a barn,
so you should be fine with it.
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Okay, the kids haven't seen it,
so we're fine.
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We just need to gather them up,
go home
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-before they...
Oh, my God, there's Tina!
-Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap!
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You are my mane man.
Heh.
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There's more
where that came from.
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No, no, no. She's gonna
see the Wheelie Mammoth.
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-(grunts)
-Oh, my baby!
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Look how big you're getting.
(grunts)
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But Mama can still carry you.
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(straining): Look at me go.
Look at me stand.
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Very impressive, Mom, but...
can you put me down?
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Wasn't that fun?
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Uh, yup. Hey, did I hear
you and Dad scream a second ago?
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Oh, hey,
I-I just came over here to...
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-to see you.
-Oh, maybe you heard us,
um, yell,
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because we were shocked
at the price of an old CD.
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Three dollars? For music?
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"No, thank you, Dave Matthews,"
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is what we said, loudly.
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Oh, hey, do you like
this horse I got?
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This palomino is now
a pal-o'-mine-o. (quiet chuckle)
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Great, great, great.
Uh, hey, let's find
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-your brother and sister.
-Yeah, let's go this way.
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Come on, Tina.
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Hey, kids, I know
we haven't been here long,
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but, uh, what do you say
we get on home, huh?
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-Are you serious?
-Yeah.
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Did you know all this stuff
is used? It's gross.
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We should leave. Now.
Out that far exit.
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Is that even where we came in?
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Let's say it is.
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But I've spent neither
of my two dollars.
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And I've only spent $1.50.
And got the greatest thing
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in the world,
'cause this palomino is...
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Uh, let's go talk about it
in the car, right?
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-Come on, let's go, let's go.
-Mom, what's going on?
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You guys are acting weirder
than usual.
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We came all this way
for dumb stuff,
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and we've barely looked
at anything dumb.
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Yeah, I got my eyes
on a rusty screwdriver
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and some of those baseball guys,
but I don't know
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-what else is out there.
-I've still got 50 cents.
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And 50 cents at the flea market
is like a thousand dollars
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-at an inside store.
-LOUISE: Uh...
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Ooh, Louise, switchblades!
Look! Stabby stabby.
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Yes, please.
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Yeah, go play
with the knives, kids.
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Okay, they're not going along
with the leaving plan,
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so we got to sneak over
and buy the Wheelie Mammoth,
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ditch it here someplace
where the kids can't see it,
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-and then we're in the clear.
-Seriously?
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-You got a better idea?
-(sighs) No.
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So I'll keep the kids busy.
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You go and take care
of the Wheelie Mammoth, capisce?
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-Got it.
-I need to hear you say
"capisce."
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-Why?
-Just say it.
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-(sighs) Fine. Capisce.
-There you go.
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Hey, uh, that big, uh,
stuffed animal
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looks sort of interesting,
I-I guess.
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-(chuckles softly)
-Um, well,
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-what are you asking for it?
-A hundred.
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(high-pitched):
Hundred dollars?
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I-I mean, uh, a hundred, huh?
191
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Yeah, it's pretty special.
192
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Big, majestic creature
wearing those roller skates.
193
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Imagine a time when these things
used to roam the land. Man!
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I'm hardly interested in it
at all.
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I'm over here, looking at this,
uh, Remains of the Day poster.
196
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I'm-I'm a huge
Anthony Hopkins fan.
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Or A-Hop, as I call him.
198
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LOUISE: I've been wondering
if my room has the right amount
199
00:07:03,315 --> 00:07:05,482
of swords in it--
'cause right now it's at zero,
200
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,000
and I feel like that's low.
201
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,502
Um, maybe we should stay
in the pocket knife family.
202
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,671
Does it seem like Mom and Dad
are acting weird to you?
203
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Ooh, you think
someone's gonna propose?
204
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,749
(phone vibrates)
205
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,435
-(whispers): Hello.
-Linda, did you know
206
00:07:16,662 --> 00:07:18,085
you could wear a turtleneck
as pants?
207
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,938
I don't have time for this
right now, Gayle.
208
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You just need a safety pin
for the middle.
209
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Mom's on the phone,
Mom's off the phone,
210
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Mom and Dad are whispering
to each other,
211
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Mom's picking people up
and carrying them around.
212
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-Some of us.
-Lucky.
213
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,432
Do you think maybe Mom and Dad
came to the flea market
214
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to do something weird?
215
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-Like this is a cover?
-Like spy stuff?
216
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Or drug stuff?
217
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(gasps)
Are they drug spies?
218
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Oh, my God,
Mom and Dad are drug spies.
219
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-That's hot.
-You think Mom and Dad
220
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:42,535
-LINDA: Uh-huh. Okay.
-are flea market drug spies?
221
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-It just makes sense.
-Mom's the brains.
-Right.
222
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-Dad's the body.
-No.
223
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It's way too cool for them.
224
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But something is up.
225
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Look at her on that phone
all secret-like.
226
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-Oh, Gayle, I got to go.
-No...
227
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-Bob, talk to me.
-It's so expensive, Lin.
228
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-She wants a hundred dollars.
-You want me to come over there
and negotiate?
229
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'Cause I'm a much better
negotiator than you.
230
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That's not true.
We're both bad.
231
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Well, I'm less bad.
Look, I got to go.
232
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Make it happen.
I love you.
233
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I love you, too.
You're worse at negotiating.
234
00:08:06,378 --> 00:08:09,395
Well, that was
a normal conversation. Hi, kids.
235
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So normal of you to say that.
236
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:15,160
Hi again. Uh, I'd like
to formally offer you,
237
00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:18,388
uh, ten dollars in cash
for the stuffed animal.
238
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:20,999
And I'm sorry to say,
this offer is time sensitive,
239
00:08:21,226 --> 00:08:24,911
because I have to...
fly to a business meeting.
240
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,913
(whistles)
You're really good at this.
241
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,340
Uh, I guess I could do $90.
242
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:31,234
(sighs):
Look, I'm not flying
to a business meeting.
243
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:33,178
-You're not?
-No, and I don't
have a lot of money.
244
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:36,072
We own a restaurant
that not many people eat at.
245
00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:39,092
But I could give you
free burgers instead,
246
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,335
-if you eat burgers.
-Are they good burgers?
247
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,522
I mean, I-I do try really hard.
248
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,357
Tell you what,
how about you give me...
249
00:08:45,584 --> 00:08:48,843
ten bucks now and, uh,
30 free burgers down the road.
250
00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:51,846
Wait. 30 burgers
is way more than $90.
251
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:53,698
Eh, yes and no.
You own a restaurant.
252
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,535
You understand
hard costs versus soft costs.
253
00:08:56,686 --> 00:08:57,777
I don't, actually.
254
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,612
Fixed costs
versus variable costs.
255
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,373
Mm-mm,
don't recognize those words.
256
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,949
Trust me,
this works for both of us.
257
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,043
Slightly more for me.
But you're getting a great deal.
258
00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:07,604
-♪
-If you think about it,
259
00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:10,048
an accordion
is just burping with notes.
260
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:11,566
Sounds so good, sweetie.
261
00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:14,627
Okay, you keep looking around,
in this area, and don't go
262
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,537
-to a different area.
-Sure.
263
00:09:16,631 --> 00:09:18,448
-How'd it go?
-I got it.
264
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,116
You did? You made the deal?
265
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:21,634
Please tell me you didn't pay
a hundred dollars, Bob.
266
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,119
All right, enough of this.
267
00:09:23,138 --> 00:09:24,804
Let's go listen in
on that sneaky pants.
268
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,806
Okay, I really don't know
how much I paid for it.
269
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,458
There's really no way to know.
270
00:09:28,627 --> 00:09:30,627
But I've got it, and now
I've got to get rid of it.
271
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:32,053
Um, do the kids
suspect anything?
272
00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:33,572
I think we're good.
As far as they know,
273
00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:35,407
that mammoth is still rolling
on that rink,
274
00:09:35,634 --> 00:09:37,801
-up to his butt in orphans.
-"That mammoth"?
275
00:09:37,894 --> 00:09:39,135
Did she just say "that mammoth,"
276
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:41,228
-as in Wheelie Mammoth?
-I think she did.
277
00:09:41,323 --> 00:09:43,748
So they didn't donate Wheelie to
the orphans at the roller rink.
278
00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:45,809
Our parents are lying liars.
279
00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:48,144
How do they sleep at night--
lying down?
280
00:09:48,279 --> 00:09:50,814
-On their lies?
-I knew there was
something fishy
281
00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:52,090
about that donation stuff.
282
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:54,317
I just couldn't put my finger
on what it was
283
00:09:54,486 --> 00:09:57,578
about that orphan roller rink
story that didn't add up.
284
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,246
I think Mom and Dad
need to be punished.
285
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:01,749
within the maximum recommended
sentence of the law,
286
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,085
-Sword?
-Worse. We mess with them.
287
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,103
GENE:
Mm?
288
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,922
(straining)
289
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,256
(pants)
290
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:11,067
(straining)
291
00:10:14,856 --> 00:10:17,357
GENE:
Oh, I'd wear a kimono
all the time.
292
00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:18,617
There are pockets
in the sleeves.
293
00:10:18,844 --> 00:10:20,768
I can put chicken wings in here,
dip in here...
294
00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:22,454
-Mm-hmm.
-(panting): Oh, hey, guys.
295
00:10:22,681 --> 00:10:24,271
-There you are.
-You're pretty sweaty.
296
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,183
Oh, yeah. Someone was, um...
selling a treadmill.
297
00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:29,477
So, I think
I've seen enough dumb stuff.
298
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:30,611
Should we get going?
299
00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:32,355
Um, sure. Yeah, yeah.
300
00:10:32,448 --> 00:10:34,540
-Yeah, I could go home now,
I suppose.
-Goodbye, kimono.
301
00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,209
(whispers):
Wait for me.
302
00:10:36,361 --> 00:10:38,361
Don't sell it to Steven Tyler!
303
00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:40,363
Except I actually
don't feel like
304
00:10:40,456 --> 00:10:42,532
going home just yet.
Do you guys?
305
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,050
-Uh-uh.
-No, I don't feel like
going home.
306
00:10:44,202 --> 00:10:45,126
Y-You don't?
307
00:10:45,294 --> 00:10:47,294
We don't.
I just bought this little guy,
308
00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:49,038
and I thought to myself,
309
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,057
“You know who would appreciate
this more than me?”
310
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,225
Mm, who?
311
00:10:52,394 --> 00:10:53,968
The orphans at that roller rink
312
00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:56,396
where you guys donated
the Wheelie Mammoth.
313
00:10:56,548 --> 00:10:57,730
-Uh-huh-huh...
-Okay...
314
00:10:57,899 --> 00:10:59,565
So I would like to go there.
315
00:10:59,718 --> 00:11:01,567
And we can also say hi
to our old pal, Wheelie.
316
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,644
That is where he is, right?
317
00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:06,406
Yeah! Of course
that's where he is, silly.
318
00:11:06,574 --> 00:11:07,740
He's so there.
319
00:11:07,909 --> 00:11:09,726
Good! Well, I hope
he's not too busy
320
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:11,744
helping orphans
learn to skate to say hi.
321
00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:13,746
So shall we go
to that roller rink right now?
322
00:11:13,915 --> 00:11:15,489
Uh, I don't see why not.
323
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,158
Uh, yeah, we could do that.
324
00:11:17,252 --> 00:11:18,659
Uh-huh. Yep.
325
00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:20,345
Great, I love going to places
where things are.
326
00:11:20,496 --> 00:11:22,055
-It's the best.
-Crap.
327
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:28,578
-Okay, so not ideal.
-Yeah, Louise clearly knows.
328
00:11:28,747 --> 00:11:29,837
Nah-uh.
She only thinks she knows,
329
00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:31,764
because she doesn't
know she knows.
330
00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:33,674
Because she doesn't know,
you know?
331
00:11:33,768 --> 00:11:36,027
Right. Also, that was
a really dumb lie we made up.
332
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,196
Well, it sounded good
at the time.
333
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:39,698
I always wanted to help orphans.
334
00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:41,607
(sighs) Can't we just
tell them the truth?
335
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,369
No. Never. What we got to do
is turn this lie into a truth.
336
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,354
-Then it's not a lie anymore.
-That doesn't sound right.
337
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:49,023
How about this:
you drive the kids
338
00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:51,209
to that roller rink
in Bog Harbor.
339
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,285
You know the one, on route 16.
340
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,937
But drive very slowly.
341
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:55,939
The Wheelie Mammoth and I
get a ride with Gayle.
342
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:58,107
-Gayle?
-Yeah, she's got a car.
343
00:11:58,201 --> 00:12:00,109
She can take a break from
eating tangerines and carrots.
344
00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:02,295
We'll beat you guys there,
get everything in place,
345
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,871
and-and we'll get out.
346
00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:05,448
Okay, where'd
you hide the thing?
347
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:06,783
Uh, by a tree over there.
348
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:08,801
Oh, God, with a note.
Uh, you better hurry.
349
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,895
-Also this is the worst plan.
-Great plan.
350
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,732
So Mom's staying
to go to the bathroom
351
00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:16,626
at the porta-potty
because she likes it?
352
00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:17,885
She loves it.
353
00:12:17,979 --> 00:12:19,479
And we're not waiting for her?
354
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,239
No way. I mean,
this is her special time.
355
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:23,967
So we'll swing by
after we're done at the rink
356
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:25,468
and see if she's finished.
357
00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:26,803
This all makes sense, Dad.
358
00:12:26,972 --> 00:12:28,747
Just a couple more
questions about the...
359
00:12:28,974 --> 00:12:30,656
Oh, my God, I love this song.
I want to sing.
360
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:31,991
We should all sing.
361
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,477
♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪
362
00:12:34,646 --> 00:12:37,756
♪ Let's talk about you and me. ♪
363
00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:41,092
Gayle! Over here! Gayle!
364
00:12:41,319 --> 00:12:42,835
I came as fast as I could.
365
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,412
I didn't even change--
look, turtle pants.
366
00:12:45,507 --> 00:12:47,323
LOUISE:
So, Dad, when you donated
367
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:50,101
Wheelie to the roller rink,
did they give you a receipt?
368
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,828
You know,
something for your records?
369
00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:53,438
Ah, I'd love to see it sometime.
370
00:12:53,665 --> 00:12:55,106
Or would you rather
discuss the orphans?
371
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,424
And their therapeutic
roller skating?
372
00:12:57,593 --> 00:13:00,612
Uh... (sing-songy):
who wants ice cream?
373
00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:02,763
-Yay!
-Yay!
374
00:13:02,857 --> 00:13:04,932
Gayle, you got to step on it.
375
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,176
I'll tell you what, if you
get a ticket, I'll pay for it.
376
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:08,936
You will? That's fun.
377
00:13:09,105 --> 00:13:10,179
I like going fast.
378
00:13:10,273 --> 00:13:11,514
Should I keep my eyes open?
379
00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:13,016
Yes, keep your eyes open!
380
00:13:13,109 --> 00:13:16,185
I can't believe you let us
get a second cone.
381
00:13:16,279 --> 00:13:17,687
The line was so long.
382
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,297
But you just wanted
to get right back in there.
383
00:13:19,448 --> 00:13:21,524
And then you wanted
to taste every flavor.
384
00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:23,709
And then you counted out
your money so carefully.
385
00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:27,380
It's almost like you're not in a
hurry to get to the roller rink.
386
00:13:27,532 --> 00:13:29,456
What? Come on.
387
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:30,867
Oh, boy.
388
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,201
What do you mean "oh boy"?
389
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:34,887
Oh, boy...
Uh, look at those trees off
390
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:38,057
to the right-- they look just
like the trees in that movie.
391
00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:39,466
I mean, I guess.
392
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,893
What movie am I thinking of?
393
00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:42,879
You're gonna think of it
before I do.
394
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,305
(muffled):
Hi, Bob, it's me, Gayle!
395
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:45,731
But keep looking that way.
396
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,234
Keep looking at the trees
and tell me what movie.
397
00:13:48,386 --> 00:13:50,069
-Amadeus?
-No, that's not it.
398
00:13:50,221 --> 00:13:52,738
What is it?
Oh, God, keep looking.
399
00:13:52,907 --> 00:13:54,574
LINDA:
Go, go, go! Park around back!
400
00:13:54,726 --> 00:13:56,726
-Park around back!
-GAYLE: Okay, okay.
401
00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:59,486
(both grunting)
402
00:13:59,581 --> 00:14:02,323
Manager! Manager!
Is there a manager here?!
403
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:03,842
Manager!
404
00:14:04,069 --> 00:14:05,826
I'm the manager.
Is everything okay?
405
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,494
Ooh.
Who's this big furry fella?
406
00:14:07,589 --> 00:14:10,164
Listen, my husband and kids
are gonna be here any minute,
407
00:14:10,258 --> 00:14:12,575
and I need you to pretend
like this huge Wheelie Mammoth
408
00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:14,853
has been here for months
because we donated it to you.
409
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,080
And it helps orphans
learn to skate.
410
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:18,505
and my husband and I
are great parents.
411
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,750
Okay, sure.
No problem.
412
00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:21,860
Really?
You'd do that?
413
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,269
Yeah, I've been stuck in a lie
414
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,437
with my kids before.
415
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,679
I told them if you swallow gum,
416
00:14:25,773 --> 00:14:27,273
it stays in your stomach
for seven years.
417
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,549
I had to get a radiologist
418
00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:29,701
to make a fake X-ray of a kid
419
00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:31,202
with a lot of gum
in their stomach.
420
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:32,595
Great, so you get it.
421
00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:34,038
Okay, so can you just kind of
422
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,374
put it out there on the rink,
and tell these kids
423
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,284
they can push it around
or something?
424
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,378
And if they could shout, "This
thing is really teaching me
425
00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:42,714
-how to skate,"
that would be great.
-I don't see why not.
426
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,957
And, uh, maybe rub some
soot on the kids' faces?
427
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,700
Too far, too far.
Never mind, never mind.
428
00:14:46,794 --> 00:14:48,386
Uh, thank you so much.
429
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,888
Oh, and I wasn't here or her.
430
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,281
It's gonna be hard
to forget this.
431
00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,467
But you do it.
432
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,285
LOUISE:
Well, here we are.
433
00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:59,138
I'm sure we'll see the Wheelie
Mammoth any minute now.
434
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,457
I-I'm, uh, sure we-we will.
435
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:02,975
Huh.
436
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,736
And-and there's
Wheelie Mammoth! Ha-ha!
437
00:15:04,963 --> 00:15:07,313
I mean, uh, there he is,
uh, obviously.
438
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,965
-Would you look at that?
-Huh.
439
00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:11,300
Hi, do you need to rent skates?
440
00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:13,578
No, uh, no, we, uh, just came
441
00:15:13,805 --> 00:15:15,988
to see that woolly mammoth.
442
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,991
Oh, yes! Thank you so much
for donating him.
443
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,420
Really? My mom and dad
really did donate him here?
444
00:15:22,647 --> 00:15:23,813
They sure did.
445
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,906
And are the orphans
enjoying him?
446
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,908
The orphans just adore him.
447
00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:31,262
Oh, my God. Wheelie really is
teaching kids how to skate.
448
00:15:31,489 --> 00:15:32,597
GENE:
Barely.
449
00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:34,173
LINDA:
I mean, it's not a big deal
450
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,100
if you think about it.
Sometimes parents got
451
00:15:36,327 --> 00:15:38,511
to tell little fibs to their
little kids, 'cause they're
452
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,087
too little to hear the truth,
you know?
453
00:15:40,181 --> 00:15:42,106
Uh-huh.
Do you think my car likes me?
454
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,758
It's like Mom and Dad
and your immortal goldfish.
455
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,519
Like how they would
replace your goldfish
456
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:47,594
every time it died.
457
00:15:47,763 --> 00:15:49,113
-What?
-I mean, uh, nothing.
458
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,340
Let's, uh, talk
about your car liking you.
459
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:52,766
I think it does.
460
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:55,936
My beloved goldfish
lived 18 years with me
461
00:15:56,105 --> 00:15:58,639
before getting sent
to the National Aquarium
462
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,683
to be studied and to relax.
463
00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:02,109
Uh, right, yeah.
No, no, I know.
464
00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:03,610
Forget I said anything.
465
00:16:03,705 --> 00:16:06,856
Are you telling me Mom
and Dad lied to me?!
466
00:16:07,025 --> 00:16:10,451
Are you telling me
Goldylicious isn't immortal
467
00:16:10,619 --> 00:16:13,713
and doesn't see the birthday
cards I send her every year?
468
00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:16,532
What?
No, no, come on.
469
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,384
I cannot believe this.
470
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:20,536
Gayle!
Gayle, where are you going?
471
00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:22,629
I will not let you
472
00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:24,724
pull a Goldylicious
on your kids.
473
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:27,560
Gayle, no!
(grunting)
474
00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:28,894
Oh, come on!
475
00:16:29,063 --> 00:16:31,380
Oh. Oh, my foot.
Oh, my butt! Ow! Oh...
476
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:34,050
You're a hero
and you're a family of heroes.
477
00:16:34,143 --> 00:16:35,994
-Keep it up.
-Well, I'll be.
478
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:38,312
-How about that.
-Dad, I don't know what to say.
479
00:16:38,406 --> 00:16:41,073
We didn't think you and Mom
were telling the truth.
480
00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:42,500
Sorry?
481
00:16:42,727 --> 00:16:44,502
No, no, no, no, no!
No!
482
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:46,412
Hey, Aunt Gayle.
What are you doing here?
483
00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:47,821
Linda lied!
484
00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:49,415
-To your faces!
-BOB: Mm-mmm.
485
00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:51,417
-Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm, mm-mmm...
-We took the Wheelie Mammoth
486
00:16:51,586 --> 00:16:54,345
here today from the flea market.
487
00:16:54,572 --> 00:16:57,664
And I drove
over 90 miles per hour
488
00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,500
with my eyes open.
489
00:16:59,594 --> 00:17:01,686
Ha! I knew it!
Well, I take back that sorry.
490
00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:03,337
Is that true, Dad?
491
00:17:03,431 --> 00:17:06,265
Uh... who wants ice cream?
492
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,692
-Me!
-Gene!
493
00:17:07,843 --> 00:17:09,101
I mean,
I'm so mad at you right now
494
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,029
I could eat ice cream or ribs!
495
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,110
It feels weird to say this,
but, Aunt Gayle, keep talking.
496
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,613
-Tell us everything.
-Okay, there I was...
497
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:21,781
LINDA:
Don't listen to Gayle!
498
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,541
She's just pranking you!
499
00:17:23,692 --> 00:17:25,284
-It's, it's a fun prank.
-Oh really, Mom?
500
00:17:25,453 --> 00:17:27,787
Then why are you here?
Are you part of the prank?
501
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,548
Yeah! Yeah. I ran into Gayle
at the porta-potty
502
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,108
at the flea market
and we decided to come here
503
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:34,034
and prank you guys.
Isn't that funny?
504
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,778
So your prank is for Aunt Gayle
505
00:17:35,871 --> 00:17:37,722
to show up
and tell us you lied to us?
506
00:17:37,949 --> 00:17:39,965
-Yeah.
-I don't know what to believe.
507
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,225
How dare you.
508
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,968
You're just like Mom and Dad.
509
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,846
You're a liar and you're married
and you had kids.
510
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,124
Lin, maybe we just... you know?
511
00:17:48,293 --> 00:17:49,792
-What?
-You know?
512
00:17:49,811 --> 00:17:51,961
(chuckles)
You mea-you mean keep having fun
513
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,072
with this really great prank
that's going really well?
514
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,966
-(chuckles weakly)
-I am so disappointed in you.
515
00:17:57,059 --> 00:17:58,968
Were those
even movie trees, Dad?
516
00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,986
We will discuss your punishment
when we get home.
517
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,472
There will be spanking.
On both cheeks.
518
00:18:03,566 --> 00:18:05,232
You tell 'em, kids!
519
00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:07,977
Ugh. Oh, fine.
I'm sorry.
520
00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:11,147
It all happened so fast
over several months.
521
00:18:11,316 --> 00:18:12,815
And several hours today.
522
00:18:12,984 --> 00:18:15,000
-And it was mostly
your mom's idea.
-Thanks, Bob.
523
00:18:15,153 --> 00:18:17,169
Seriously though,
I am sorry, too.
524
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,763
I was happy to see it go.
525
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,582
But, I guess, as a dad,
I should've known
526
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,102
it's wrong to steal toys
from children.
527
00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:27,012
Most of the time. It's not
stealing if it's at the park
528
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,922
and you give it
to your cat, right?
529
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,000
Oh, we'll go get the mammoth.
530
00:18:31,169 --> 00:18:33,336
And try to all fit in
the apartment with it, I guess.
531
00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:35,504
Hi.
Oh, you guys still here?
532
00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:36,447
You want to rent skates?
533
00:18:36,674 --> 00:18:38,007
Uh, sorry, uh, we just
534
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:40,451
have to get the mammoth
and bring it home.
535
00:18:40,678 --> 00:18:42,436
Oh, uh, that's not
gonna work for me.
536
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:44,013
What do you mean?
537
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:45,939
We did the big lie
and we made the lie real.
538
00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:47,867
And it's great.
This thing's our mascot now.
539
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,460
I already updated the website.
540
00:18:49,687 --> 00:18:51,020
-You did?
-Yeah, check it out.
541
00:18:51,113 --> 00:18:53,113
Oh, it looks good.
Ooh, I like that design.
542
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,281
This is a game changer.
543
00:18:54,525 --> 00:18:56,300
In the rink business,
you get a break like this
544
00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:58,544
once in a lifetime. I mean, that
thing probably costs a fortune.
545
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,863
Probably.
But, you know, soft cost.
546
00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:03,032
Never mind. Listen, our kids
are really mad at us,
547
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:06,051
and the only way to try and make
it right is to take this home.
548
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,461
What about the orphans?
549
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,038
They're not orphans.
We made that up.
550
00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:10,723
I bet at least
a couple of them are.
551
00:19:10,875 --> 00:19:13,709
This magical guy
is staying right here.
552
00:19:13,802 --> 00:19:16,821
Please, sir, um, don't...
(laughs) Don't do this.
553
00:19:17,048 --> 00:19:18,972
So much of my life
I let slip through my fingers.
554
00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:19,991
Not this time.
555
00:19:20,176 --> 00:19:21,734
We need this mammoth!
556
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,569
Linda, keep pulling.
He's got no traction.
557
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,904
He's on wheels.
558
00:19:25,056 --> 00:19:26,889
Orphans, attack!
559
00:19:26,982 --> 00:19:29,149
Please, I think you need
a day off or something.
560
00:19:29,243 --> 00:19:30,484
Bob, we can take this guy.
561
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:31,818
We can take him!
I'm gonna bite him!
562
00:19:31,913 --> 00:19:33,153
Aah!
Don't bite me!
563
00:19:33,247 --> 00:19:34,672
Hey!
We're whipping him around.
564
00:19:34,899 --> 00:19:36,174
Keep whipping, Bob!
Keep whipping!
565
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,917
Aah! Aah!
566
00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:40,511
Hey, hey, hey!
Stop! Stop!
567
00:19:40,738 --> 00:19:42,346
Look, we've had a little talk.
568
00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:45,257
-We want to leave Wheelie here.
-Huh?
-You do?
569
00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,000
We want to make the lie real.
570
00:19:47,094 --> 00:19:49,595
We don't like how it got here,
but it seems
571
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,838
-like the right home for him.
-He'll be happy here.
572
00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:53,858
Lot of space,
good vibes, cool jams.
573
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,860
And he's a sucker
for a disco ball.
574
00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:58,029
-I mean, who isn't?
-Uh, I'm not.
575
00:19:58,256 --> 00:20:00,514
It's a bunch of broken glass
spinning around.
576
00:20:00,608 --> 00:20:02,775
Ugh, terrifying.
It could kill us all.
577
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,519
Kids, that's so nice of you.
So mature.
578
00:20:05,613 --> 00:20:07,187
Yeah, I'm impressed.
579
00:20:07,281 --> 00:20:09,690
You know, we-we thought
you wouldn't be able to handle
580
00:20:09,784 --> 00:20:11,876
having to give away
a huge stuffed animal
581
00:20:12,027 --> 00:20:13,878
that didn't fit in any room.
582
00:20:14,105 --> 00:20:15,438
But we should have
been honest with you
583
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,273
and trusted that
you could handle it.
584
00:20:17,408 --> 00:20:19,366
We got more handles
than a grocery bag, baby.
585
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:22,220
So I'm gonna let go of this,
and no one's gonna take it?
586
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,721
-And no one's gonna bite me?
-Aw, yeah.
587
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,389
Sorry I said
I was gonna bite you.
588
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,391
I wasn't gonna do that.
I've never bitten anybody.
589
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,118
ALL:
That's a lie.
590
00:20:29,211 --> 00:20:30,561
We call her piranha mama.
591
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:31,804
She bit a guy
at the grocery store.
592
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,231
W-We're still not allowed
to go to that one.
593
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,124
-Well, I'm not, you are.
-Hey, one last skate
594
00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:36,625
with Wheelie before we go?
595
00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,294
(grunting)
596
00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:39,645
I'm not good at this at all!
597
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,313
I'm usually so graceful!
598
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,132
I-I think this is how I die.
599
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,650
I can only go backwards.
600
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,303
Tell me if there's anyone there.
Tell me if there's anyone there!
601
00:20:47,396 --> 00:20:49,138
Whoa! I-I don't want Wheelie
to remember us this way.
602
00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:52,308
Listen, if you ever want to bust
out of here, no questions asked,
603
00:20:52,477 --> 00:20:53,976
you call me, okay?
And, hey,
604
00:20:53,995 --> 00:20:56,145
-keep it wheel.
-Yeah, you just slip them on.
605
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,589
You can pee right
through the neck hole.
606
00:20:58,741 --> 00:20:59,665
It's so convenient.
607
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,317
♪ He's a funky beast ♪
608
00:21:01,486 --> 00:21:03,076
♪ From another time ♪
609
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,820
♪ With moves and grooves ♪
610
00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:06,655
♪ That'll blow your mind ♪
611
00:21:06,674 --> 00:21:07,748
♪ Wheelie ♪
612
00:21:07,842 --> 00:21:09,433
♪ Wheelie Mammoth ♪
613
00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:11,769
♪ Wheelie, Wheelie Mammoth,
Wheelie Mammoth ♪
614
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,847
♪ Wheelie Mammoth,
Wheelie, Wheelie Mammoth ♪
615
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:18,091
♪ Watchin' him roll
all around the floor ♪
616
00:21:18,185 --> 00:21:21,762
♪ It makes you wanna move
like you're pre-historic ♪
617
00:21:21,856 --> 00:21:23,005
♪ Wheelie ♪
618
00:21:23,174 --> 00:21:24,931
♪ Wheelie Mammoth ♪
619
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,434
♪ Wheelie, Wheelie Mammoth,
Wheelie Mammoth ♪
620
00:21:27,528 --> 00:21:28,677
♪ Wheelie Mammoth ♪
621
00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:30,179
♪ Wheelie, Wheelie Mammoth. ♪
622
00:21:30,272 --> 00:21:32,105
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
623
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:33,682
and TOYOTA.
624
00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:34,917
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org