1 00:00:02,745 --> 00:00:04,712 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:21,169 (Bob panting) 3 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,187 I'm whipping you so hard. 4 00:00:22,339 --> 00:00:23,505 Turn into cream! 5 00:00:23,673 --> 00:00:26,099 -Get a room, you two. -We did get a room, Gene. 6 00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:27,342 It's called the kitchen. 7 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,253 I'm making whipped cream for your mom 8 00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:30,587 for her Mother's Day waffles, 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,439 which you kids are supposed to be helping me with. 10 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,424 Sorry, Dad. We have our hands full. 11 00:00:34,593 --> 00:00:35,517 Tina had to make a card, 12 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,277 we had to tell her to make the card. 13 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,871 -Tina, let's see it. -Read it and weep. 14 00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:40,522 Or lightly chuckle because it's pretty funny. 15 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,690 It's a drawing of a mushroom cloud 16 00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:44,601 and all of us flying through the air, and it says, 17 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,378 -"You dropped a mom on us"? -Pretty good, right? 18 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:49,456 Yeah, but you made this exact same card two years ago. 19 00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:50,883 Damn it, I knew it felt familiar. 20 00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:52,718 We got to think of something else, and quick. 21 00:00:52,869 --> 00:00:54,294 -LINDA: Think of what? -Uh... 22 00:00:54,446 --> 00:00:55,554 KIDS: Happy Mother's Day! 23 00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:58,039 -Aw, thanks. -Ugh. Happy Mother's Day, Lin. 24 00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,575 Wow, you're sweaty. 25 00:00:59,577 --> 00:01:00,784 What's in the box? 26 00:01:00,953 --> 00:01:02,227 Is it a tiny little David Blaine? 27 00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:03,637 Eh, I was thinking about my mother. 28 00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:05,672 And then I started to think about my grandmother, 29 00:01:05,824 --> 00:01:08,216 and I wanted to find a picture of her, and I found this. 30 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,717 A box full of old family stuff. 31 00:01:09,812 --> 00:01:12,554 "Old family stuff." Those are three exciting words. 32 00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:13,997 I wanted to look through it 33 00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,557 while we have Mother's Day breakfast. 34 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,802 Aw, here she is. My sweet Grandma Claudia. 35 00:01:18,821 --> 00:01:21,955 Oh, I just loved her so much. Ooh, family tree. 36 00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:23,490 Let's see what we have here. 37 00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,400 -Any celebrities or criminals? -Portia de Rossi? 38 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,586 Oh, that says "Peter DeRosa." 39 00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:29,479 Still though, pretty cool. 40 00:01:29,498 --> 00:01:31,406 LOUISE: Wait, why is this whole section crossed out? 41 00:01:31,483 --> 00:01:33,150 Oh, that's because of the feud. 42 00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:35,410 Wha-Wha-What? A feud? 43 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,579 Something interesting happened in our family? 44 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,674 I think you're forgetting about Dad's uncle with huge feet. 45 00:01:40,843 --> 00:01:42,434 Oh, yeah, Uncle Frank. Good swimmer. 46 00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,436 Well, it's kind of a long story, but I'll tell you. 47 00:01:44,663 --> 00:01:46,847 This thing started way before I was born. 48 00:01:46,999 --> 00:01:48,498 My great-grandma Maria had four kids, 49 00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:50,091 and they didn't have a lot of money. 50 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,610 One of them, Tony, worked down at the docks. 51 00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:53,261 And he was trying to save up to buy 52 00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:54,929 his dream house in Staten Island. 53 00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:57,007 GENE: I think Billy Joel wrote a song about that. 54 00:01:57,025 --> 00:01:59,693 LINDA: But Joey, the baby of the family, married a rich girl. 55 00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,603 I think her father invented the raincoat. 56 00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:02,979 -Probably not. -Shush! 57 00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:05,365 And then Joey and his new rich wife 58 00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:08,127 bought Tony's dream house before Tony could! 59 00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:10,278 -Damn. -So, is that why someone crossed 60 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,113 all of Joey's family out on the family tree? 61 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,298 No. There's more. 62 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,025 You see, Joey invited the family over 63 00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,193 to his new house for dinner. 64 00:02:16,286 --> 00:02:18,303 And my great-grandmother Maria 65 00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,380 brought over her famous Bolognese sauce. 66 00:02:20,532 --> 00:02:21,789 (whispers loudly): Say more about the sauce. 67 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,309 -(whispers): It was delicious, Gene. -I knew it. 68 00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:25,869 (normal voice): And then it happened. 69 00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:27,587 -(gasps) -I didn't say what it was yet. 70 00:02:27,723 --> 00:02:28,814 Sorry, it's just tense. 71 00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:30,390 LINDA: So, they're eating dinner, 72 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,317 and Joey is just laughing and laughing 73 00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,710 about how great his new house is. 74 00:02:33,729 --> 00:02:36,062 But as he reaches for the Parmesan cheese, 75 00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:38,640 Tony goes in with his fork to get more pasta 76 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:41,735 and accidentally stabs Joey in the hand! 77 00:02:41,887 --> 00:02:43,403 LOUISE: Yes! He forked him! 78 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,238 -(gasps) -Joey and his sister Paulina 79 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,981 thought Tony forked him on purpose 80 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,909 because Joey bought Tony's dream house 81 00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:50,577 with Daniela's stupid raincoat money. 82 00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:53,063 -It-it couldn't have been raincoat. -It was. 83 00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:54,656 But Tony swore that it was an accident, 84 00:02:54,824 --> 00:02:57,342 and his sister Claudia, my sweet little grandmother, 85 00:02:57,419 --> 00:02:58,493 believed him. 86 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,512 Joey throws Tony out of the house. 87 00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:02,906 Claudia and her husband Burt, my grandfather, go with him. 88 00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:05,166 And here's the kicker: it's pouring rain. 89 00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,426 None of them have raincoats. 90 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,835 They all get wet. 91 00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:09,262 From that moment on, 92 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,005 you were either Team Tony or Team Joey. 93 00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:12,357 So we're on team...? 94 00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:13,859 Tony. All the way. 95 00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:15,510 And Tony's the one who...? 96 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,604 Accidentally forked that jerk Joey. 97 00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:19,031 You never met any Team Joeys 98 00:03:19,258 --> 00:03:20,848 'cause we stopped talking to them, 'cause they're dumb. 99 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,426 And you want to know the worst part? 100 00:03:22,444 --> 00:03:23,944 Then the Great Depression happened? 101 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:27,039 No. After my lovely great-grandmother Maria passed, 102 00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,616 dumb Joey, his wife Daniela and their idiot kid 103 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,211 went over to her house, went through all her stuff 104 00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:34,195 and stole the only written-down copy 105 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,790 of Grandma Maria's famous Bolognese recipe. 106 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,199 They did what?! 107 00:03:38,277 --> 00:03:39,701 My Grandma Claudia knew how to make it, 108 00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,202 and she used to make it for me, 109 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,721 and it was delicious, but she died, 110 00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:45,373 and so now I can only taste the sauce in my memories. 111 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,892 -In your mammaries? -Gene. 112 00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:48,285 So now the only people who know 113 00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,044 how to make it are those cold-hearted, 114 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,563 house-stealing Team Joey people. 115 00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:54,733 (singsongy): Who wants waffles with homemade whipped cream? 116 00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:57,736 -I do. -I mean, sort of whipped. 117 00:03:57,887 --> 00:04:00,130 It's really hard to do. My wrist hurts. 118 00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:01,481 -Anyway, here you go. -Oh. 119 00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,467 Ew. Did you just pour milk on her waffles? 120 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,968 Damn it. The kids didn't help at all. 121 00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:07,412 Because we're, uh, doing our own thing for Mom. 122 00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:09,248 -We're giving it to her later. -We are? 123 00:04:09,399 --> 00:04:11,324 Yes. And it's really, really great. 124 00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,418 -Wait, did I miss a meeting? -(sighs) Ignore Tina. 125 00:04:13,645 --> 00:04:16,329 Why don't we focus on Dad's wet milk waffles for now. 126 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,981 (sighs) I'll make you new ones. 127 00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,500 -Gene will eat those. -Yay! Floppy waffles. 128 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,244 Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy. (sputters lips) 129 00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:25,655 So, Teddy, what'd you get your mom for Mother's Day? 130 00:04:25,674 --> 00:04:27,766 Well, you know how she's pretty tatted up? 131 00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:29,175 What? No. 132 00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:30,936 Yeah, well, she's got a tattoo that she hates, 133 00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:34,331 so I booked her an appointment at a laser tattoo removal place. 134 00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,181 Okay. 135 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,516 But it's kind of expensive. 136 00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:38,835 -How expensive? -Well, it's $500 a visit, 137 00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:40,353 and it can take a bunch of visits. 138 00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:41,688 Which I wasn't totally aware of 139 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,523 when I was signing her up for the first lasering. 140 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,450 -That's a lot of money. -I know. 141 00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:47,619 -But she really wants it gone. -Why? 142 00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:49,513 -What-What's it a tattoo of? -Uh, I'll show you. 143 00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:51,957 Here, check a look. It's on her upper, upper thigh. 144 00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,941 BOB: Oh. Gr-Great. 145 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,610 So, it's a tattoo of a bunch of playing cards? 146 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,370 It's a gin rummy thing. She was in a group, 147 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,205 and I guess they all got the same tattoo. 148 00:04:59,282 --> 00:05:01,133 -Aw, gin rummy chummies. -(door opens) 149 00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:02,692 -Well, not anymore. -(door closes) 150 00:05:02,711 --> 00:05:05,119 My mom plays with, let's say, a lot of flare. 151 00:05:05,213 --> 00:05:06,805 And by "flare," I mean rage. 152 00:05:07,032 --> 00:05:08,365 Your mom sounds intense. 153 00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:10,475 -She's passionate, Bob. -Wait, I have an idea. 154 00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:12,702 Maybe she doesn't have to remove her tattoo. 155 00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:14,646 Why doesn't she just add to what's already there? 156 00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:17,316 Make it into something else? I bet that's cheaper. 157 00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,634 -I mean, probably? -Hey, we should brainstorm. 158 00:05:19,711 --> 00:05:22,637 -Ooh, we can use the chalkboard. -Oh, uh-- Heh. 159 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,639 That's where I put the Burger of the Day that I wrote, 160 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,475 carefully, so people know what it is. 161 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,735 And you erased it. 162 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,570 This is just for a minute. I'll remember it. 163 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,390 -It was a something-something burger. -Yup. 164 00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,058 (quietly): So, what are we getting for Mom? 165 00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:36,501 A different card from Tina? 166 00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,078 Oh, okay. Lot of pressure. 167 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,488 Wait. O-mama bin Lovin'? 168 00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:41,322 That's been done. 169 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,990 No. What we're gonna do is 170 00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,344 get that old family sauce recipe and we're gonna cook it for Mom 171 00:05:45,571 --> 00:05:48,213 and give her the greatest Mother's Day dinner of all time. 172 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,681 You had me at "sauce." 173 00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,165 Where are we gonna get the recipe? 174 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,243 I found out where Lorraine lives. 175 00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,336 -Who's Lorraine? -Joey's daughter. 176 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,171 Got it. Who's Joey again? 177 00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,857 He's Great-Grandma Claudia's brother. 178 00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,083 Just look at this. 179 00:06:00,102 --> 00:06:01,843 Mom said Joey took the recipe. 180 00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:04,254 Since he's passed on, smart money is that 181 00:06:04,272 --> 00:06:06,272 his only daughter, Lorraine, has it now. 182 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,274 Guess what. She lives in Bottom Hook, 183 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,684 which is only eight miles away. 184 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,352 Yes. Louise, this is such a good idea. 185 00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,113 -I know. -Wait, how are we gonna get there? 186 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,206 No clue. 187 00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:15,207 You kids help out around here, right? 188 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,691 I-I'm just checking because 189 00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:19,360 sometimes it feels like you don't help out at all. 190 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,529 -We're taking a hiatus. -Dad, just shush. 191 00:06:21,623 --> 00:06:23,715 We think we found where the sauce recipe might be. 192 00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,943 It's only eight miles away at Mom's cousin Lorraine's house. 193 00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,202 Go get your car keys. 194 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,963 Oh, that's actually a really sweet idea, 195 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,448 but we can't leave your mom alone 196 00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,408 in the restaurant on Mother's Day. 197 00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:35,376 -(quietly): Boo. -Don't boo me. 198 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:38,638 Look, maybe you guys can save this idea for next year. 199 00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:40,640 -(quietly): Boo. -Stop booing me. 200 00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,642 What if we get another ride? 201 00:06:42,794 --> 00:06:43,810 Do you know someone with a car? 202 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,311 And don't say Ken because he's not real. 203 00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:47,297 He is real and he's a very good driver, 204 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,798 but he's getting his Jeep lowered today. 205 00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:51,576 (gasps) I think I might know someone who could take us. 206 00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,745 Is it someone we know and trust? 207 00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,247 It's someone we know. 208 00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:57,323 So I got my license un-suspended, 209 00:06:57,476 --> 00:06:59,659 then they said I needed to take the eye test again, 210 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,236 but I was like, "Nah, this prescription is fine." 211 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,571 -Oh! -(tires screech) -(kids scream) 212 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:05,382 Sorry. This road is so curvy. 213 00:07:08,411 --> 00:07:10,837 Ugh, I can't believe we're actually going 214 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,597 to that punk Lorraine Parcone's house. 215 00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:15,600 And possibly to a soft serve drive-through on the way? Eh? 216 00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,494 Aunt Gayle, you and Mom still get pretty frothy 217 00:07:17,512 --> 00:07:19,938 about the whole forking thing, huh? 218 00:07:20,165 --> 00:07:21,331 It started with the forking. 219 00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:23,333 Then there was the recipe theft, of course, 220 00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,943 but the bad blood's been passed down 221 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:26,594 from generation to generation. 222 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,263 -You know about the wedding incident? -KIDS: No. 223 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,265 It was my mother and father's wedding-- 224 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,452 your grandparents-- and my Grandma Claudia 225 00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:36,771 made them invite everyone to try to make peace. 226 00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:38,348 It was a disaster. 227 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:40,183 Lorraine Parcone wore white. 228 00:07:40,202 --> 00:07:41,776 I mean, I think it was a full wedding dress. 229 00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:44,796 -Poor Grandma Gloria. -Well, she got Lorraine back. 230 00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:45,947 Literally. 231 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,207 She poured punch down her back, 232 00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:48,633 and then she punched her in the back. 233 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,302 I hear it was a beautiful wedding. 234 00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:51,211 Sounds lovely. 235 00:07:51,363 --> 00:07:52,879 Well, you know me, Aunt Gayle. 236 00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,380 I love a good family feud. 237 00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,624 But today, the plan is to put all that aside. 238 00:07:56,718 --> 00:07:59,369 Tomorrow, you can go back to feuding it up. Okay? 239 00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:01,705 Yeah, do it for Mom. It's Mother's Day. 240 00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:04,541 I mean, she's not your mother, but she's a damn good woman. 241 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,558 Ugh, Mother's Day. 242 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,377 You know, it's actually been proven 243 00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:09,062 that owning and taking care of cats 244 00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:11,973 is 4,000 times harder than being a mom to a human. 245 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,659 -Did your cats get you a present? -Not yet. 246 00:08:14,811 --> 00:08:16,569 Maybe they're just waiting for the right moment 247 00:08:16,771 --> 00:08:20,147 and tonight you're gonna find like 50 dead birds in your bed. 248 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,075 (gasps) Can you imagine? 249 00:08:22,227 --> 00:08:25,729 LINDA: Okay, you didn't like the wacky broom idea 250 00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:27,321 -where the cards were the end of the wacky broom. -Nope. 251 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,082 You didn't like the giant eyebrow idea 252 00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:31,751 where the cards were a giant eyebrow over an eye. 253 00:08:31,903 --> 00:08:33,845 -Terrifying. -But what about this? 254 00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:36,348 I present to you long hair lady. 255 00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:38,908 -(groans) That hair is long. -You like it? 256 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:41,094 I like it. I just think it's also bad. 257 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,912 Oh, I got one. I just thought of one. 258 00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,748 All right, hang on. I'm coming around. 259 00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:46,082 (Bob panting) 260 00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:47,600 Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk. 261 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,104 Uh, you could make all the cards look like an accordion. 262 00:08:51,256 --> 00:08:52,939 So it's like an accordion lady. 263 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,533 A lady who plays the accordion? 264 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,443 No, kind of like a lady who is an accordion. 265 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,945 -Oh. -Huh. 266 00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:01,114 Came all the way out here to do that, huh? (chuckles) 267 00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:03,433 Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning. 268 00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,043 I mean, not burning. It-It's perfect. 269 00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:08,288 I'm just gonna, uh, run back and see how perfect it is. 270 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,289 (Bob panting) 271 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,032 LOUISE: Remember, everyone, 272 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,717 no matter how awful this Lorraine lady is, 273 00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:15,369 we got to stick to the plan: kill her with kindness. 274 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,556 -I heard "kill." -No, no, no. Kindness. 275 00:09:17,632 --> 00:09:20,374 Right. But also, what if we just start, like, 276 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,561 a little tiny fire in her house? 277 00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,454 -Aunt Gayle, no. -Oh, hi. 278 00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:26,973 Uh, we are looking for a Lorraine Parcone. 279 00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,958 Would the Lorraine of the house be home? 280 00:09:29,127 --> 00:09:31,236 She is not. But I am her son. 281 00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:33,554 I'm Nico. Uh, who are all of you? 282 00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:34,964 Oh, I'm Louise. 283 00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:36,633 This is my brother Gene and my sister Tina. 284 00:09:36,802 --> 00:09:39,986 And we're... (imitates drumroll) your cousins! 285 00:09:40,138 --> 00:09:41,638 Well, third cousins. I think. 286 00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:45,141 -So we're totally fine to marry. -And we're not enemies at all. 287 00:09:45,143 --> 00:09:46,418 Oh. Okay, great. 288 00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:48,828 And you must be their mom-slash-also my cousin? 289 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,830 -Happy Mother's Day. -Oh, right. 290 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,816 I-I am their mother. Yes. 291 00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,983 That is what I am. 292 00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:55,985 I'm Linda, the homelier one. 293 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,837 Gayle, my sister, is a trial lawyer 294 00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,989 and a model for a bikini corporation. 295 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,249 Okay. Well, come on in. 296 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:03,660 My mom should be back soon. 297 00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:05,252 She went out to pick up some groceries. 298 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,771 That's a fun Mother's Day errand. 299 00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:08,848 So, what brings you all here today? 300 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,257 Such a good question. 301 00:10:10,352 --> 00:10:12,502 We were in the area and thought we'd drop by 302 00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,504 and meet some cousins and just visit. 303 00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:17,340 -We don't want anything from you! -So, how are we related exactly? 304 00:10:17,359 --> 00:10:19,117 You're not from my great-great-uncle Tony's 305 00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:20,526 side of the family, are you? 306 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:21,769 (nervous chuckling) 307 00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:24,605 Is what my mother would ask if she were here. 308 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,291 But I don't care. I'm just glad to meet some cousins. 309 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,943 Can I call you "cuz"? Everybody okay with "cuz"? 310 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,128 Abso-cuz-lutely. 311 00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:31,463 Hey, you don't have a few minutes 312 00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:33,706 to bust out the photo albums or, I don't know, 313 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,694 old family recipes and just sit around and get into it, do you? 314 00:10:37,712 --> 00:10:40,697 Well, the paint's got to dry on my Buckaroo Banzai figurine. 315 00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,474 Buckaroo Banzai? Buckaroo Banzai? No? 316 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,367 Uh, I'll tell you about it. Let's go. 317 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:46,035 (quietly): You guys, this is gonna be 318 00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:48,705 easier than I thought, but we have to get the recipe 319 00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:49,889 before Lorraine gets home. 320 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,708 Aunt Gayle, why did you say you were our mom? 321 00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:53,393 I don't know. It just came out. 322 00:10:53,545 --> 00:10:55,545 But hold my hand and call me Mom and let me give you advice. 323 00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,489 You should part your hair in the middle. 324 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,883 -No, I don't want to do that. -You're grounded. 325 00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,642 Okay, here we go. 326 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,978 It's a lady with long hair driving a race car. 327 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,646 Looks like she's in a bathtub. 328 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:08,057 -Does your mom like race cars? -Everyone likes race cars. 329 00:11:08,076 --> 00:11:11,060 Everyone likes baths. It could just be a bathtub. 330 00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,729 Or she could have no tattoo there, 331 00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,155 which was my original present! 332 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,823 Hey, speaking of Mother's Day presents, 333 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,417 the kids have been gone for a while. 334 00:11:17,569 --> 00:11:18,735 Are you really not gonna tell me 335 00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:21,087 where Gayle took them to get my gift? Come on! 336 00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:23,515 I'm not gonna tell you. It's a surprise. 337 00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:24,683 (gasps) Is it Vermont? 338 00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,075 -What? -Did they drive up to Vermont 339 00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:27,260 to get me a blanket? 340 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,928 I bet Vermont has great blankets. 341 00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,413 (chuckles) That-- No. 342 00:11:30,415 --> 00:11:32,506 I can tell you that they're not doing that. 343 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,434 Now I know it's not a blanket. Good job, Bob. 344 00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:36,769 Okay, I went with the bathtub thing. 345 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:37,862 I gave her a bar of soap. 346 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,197 Why does the bathtub have wheels? 347 00:11:39,424 --> 00:11:40,848 'Cause it was a race car! 348 00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:42,425 NICO: And here's my grandpa Joey again. 349 00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:43,943 This is when he started sitting a lot. 350 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,203 Wow. I love these pictures. 351 00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:46,779 But do you know what I also love? 352 00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:49,356 Written stuff: letters, laundry lists, 353 00:11:49,451 --> 00:11:51,267 lists of ingredients or something. 354 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,044 Ooh, there's another album. I know where it is. 355 00:11:53,271 --> 00:11:54,604 I think there are a couple of pictures 356 00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:55,880 of Grandpa Joey standing in that one. 357 00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,698 We got to find that recipe and get out of here. 358 00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,126 I'm gonna move that stool over and check on top of the fridge. 359 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,461 I see some cookbooks. 360 00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:03,370 Tina, help me. Gayle, what are you doing? 361 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,056 I'm gonna scratch Joey's eyes out. 362 00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,892 -Nope, nope. -Don't talk to your mother that way. 363 00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:10,803 Ooh, recipe box. Recipe box. 364 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,288 Flipping through. 365 00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:14,474 -Wait. Lasagna. -We're not looking for lasagna. 366 00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:17,218 -Maybe it's looking for us. -He's coming back. 367 00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:18,795 -Give it to me. -No, no, no. 368 00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,721 Well, look at that. I can move this stool. (chuckles) 369 00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:23,074 -Oh, hey, cuz. -Look what I got. 370 00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:24,801 -Ooh, I think Mom's home. -Oh, no. 371 00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:27,487 -Do I look like I've been trying to find a job? -So much. 372 00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:30,231 Nico, who's in my spot? Ugly little car. 373 00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:31,824 Crap, crap, crap. What do we do? 374 00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,567 Ah. Who are you people? 375 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:36,546 Run! I mean, hey, you. 376 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,985 -Wait, who are they? -They're our cousins. 377 00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:44,821 Yeah, Gene, Tina and me, Louise. 378 00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:47,490 And Linda. We were just headed out. 379 00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:50,251 Yup, we're taking our mom to get washed. 380 00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,936 -A brunch and wash. -I'm filthy. 381 00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:54,163 Nico, you have been nothing but delightful. 382 00:12:54,257 --> 00:12:56,107 Lorraine, incredible to meet you. 383 00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,167 -Are we hugging? I can't tell. -Wait. 384 00:12:58,261 --> 00:12:59,685 Did you say your name was Linda? 385 00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:02,280 Yes. And these are my three beautiful children 386 00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,115 that I home-birthed while watching TV 387 00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:07,285 because birth isn't as hard as people are always saying it is. 388 00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:10,013 (gasps) So you're Gloria's daughter? 389 00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,772 I am. And that's really true. 390 00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:14,626 Nico, do you realize what you've done? 391 00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:15,852 Uh, no. 392 00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,279 You've let the foxes into the henhouse. 393 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,023 You've invited the blood of Tonys 394 00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,542 -into this house of the blood of Joeys! -Ah! 395 00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:25,637 So, we know there's some history in our family, 396 00:13:25,788 --> 00:13:27,454 but we swear, we come in peace. 397 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,216 The same way Tony came to dinner in peace 398 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,311 all those years ago and forked my grandfather? 399 00:13:33,538 --> 00:13:36,222 The same way your Grandma Gloria came in peace 400 00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:37,798 when she poured punch down my back 401 00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,892 at her wedding and then punched me? 402 00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:42,045 Well, we should go move that ugly car. 403 00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,713 You're not leaving. Why'd you come here? 404 00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:45,990 -What did you do? -(sighs) Here's the thing. 405 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,550 We actually came here to say 406 00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:50,495 -we think your side is right. -What? 407 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:51,979 -What? Ow. -Yeah. 408 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,164 That's why we're really here. 409 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,149 To tell you that our side of the family 410 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,818 is dumb and stabby and bad. 411 00:13:57,896 --> 00:13:58,837 -Really? -Okay. 412 00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,063 Really. Right, guys? 413 00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:01,397 It's not easy being a Tony. 414 00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:03,399 Oh, man, yeah. "Be a Tony," they said. 415 00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:05,343 "It'll be easy," they said. 416 00:14:05,494 --> 00:14:06,511 Well, it's not! 417 00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:08,495 Yeah, it's the worst. Ugh! 418 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:12,033 Even our, uh, mom agrees. Right, Mommy? 419 00:14:12,093 --> 00:14:13,334 Yes, I do. 420 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,411 Well, you're right. They're the worst. 421 00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:18,172 But I guess it's not your fault you come from garbage. 422 00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:19,340 (Gayle growls) 423 00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,267 Hey, I got a rotisserie chicken for Nico. 424 00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:23,027 Uh, he eats so many chickens. 425 00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:24,529 And I have Sprite. You like Sprite? 426 00:14:24,714 --> 00:14:27,090 You want to stay for some Sprite and some chicken? Huh? 427 00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:28,591 Oh, we should really get going. 428 00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:31,369 -It's Sprite and chicken time, baby! -Gene. 429 00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:33,538 Mom, do we really have to give them my chicken? 430 00:14:33,765 --> 00:14:35,689 Yes, Nico! You're sharing your chicken. 431 00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,709 -(phone chimes) -TEDDY: Oh, that's Mom. 432 00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:40,269 She said she's sorry it took so long to respond. 433 00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:41,771 She was at an estate sale 434 00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:43,439 and she got some really good Rollerblades. 435 00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,699 Oh! She likes the long hair bathtub lady. 436 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,385 -Okay. With the wheels? -(phone chimes) 437 00:14:47,462 --> 00:14:50,446 Wait. She said she needs to "see it on skin." 438 00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:52,798 Mom, just draw it right on your thigh. 439 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,376 -(phone chimes) -She says she can't. She's rollerblading. 440 00:14:55,453 --> 00:14:56,469 Ooh, Teddy. 441 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,545 We draw it on your thigh and send a picture. 442 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,732 My thighs are just a tiny bit hairier than my mom's. 443 00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:04,569 Okay. So we do it on your back and pretend it's a thigh? 444 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,130 -Eh, I-I-I don't know. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 445 00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:09,223 -Take your shirt off. -Okay. 446 00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:10,650 H-He'll-He'll put his shirt back on soon. 447 00:15:10,802 --> 00:15:11,409 Enjoy your burger. 448 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,578 Sorry it's not home-cooked. 449 00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,230 And it's not that warm and the soda's not cold. 450 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,399 I'll never eat chicken any other way. 451 00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,143 I can't believe you gave them the drumsticks. 452 00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:22,311 Hush! Guests get the drumsticks! 453 00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,496 Well, that was delicious. 454 00:15:23,572 --> 00:15:24,923 Got to save some room for brunch, though. 455 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,257 Right, everybody? 456 00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:28,242 Yes, let's leave. I'll take my fanny pack. 457 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,153 -I'll take my chicken. -Okay, bye. 458 00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:31,671 No, no. Don't go yet. 459 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,264 We're having such a nice visit, 460 00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:36,159 and you were gonna say bad stuff about your grandparents. 461 00:15:36,177 --> 00:15:37,493 Sit, sit, sit. 462 00:15:37,512 --> 00:15:38,844 -Okay. -Sure. 463 00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:40,163 Can someone please pass the chicken? 464 00:15:40,181 --> 00:15:42,181 So, Grandma Gloria. Yuck, right? 465 00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,441 -Oh, yuck. Yeah. -Ugh. The worst. 466 00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,276 -Right, Mom? -GAYLE: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 467 00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:47,779 Yeah, I didn't have another dress to wear to her wedding, 468 00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:51,098 so I wore my wedding dress, and somehow I'm the bad guy? 469 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,116 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 470 00:15:52,268 --> 00:15:53,451 Linda, have some chicken. 471 00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,695 -I don't want chicken. -I'll have some chicken. 472 00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:58,364 Ah! And that voice. Everyone on that side. 473 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,625 Linda, you are lucky you didn't get it. 474 00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:02,109 -Mm-hmm. -Have some chicken. 475 00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:04,370 -I'd like the chicken. -Ah, those people make me sick. 476 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,946 Linda, seriously, have some chicken. 477 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,132 -You don't like chicken? -Fine, I'll get it myself. 478 00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:09,542 All right, I'll have some chicken! 479 00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:10,635 -Ow! -(gasps) 480 00:16:10,862 --> 00:16:13,120 Did you just stab my sweet baby boy Nico? 481 00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:14,213 It was an accident. 482 00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:15,640 I just wanted some chicken. 483 00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:17,458 -Okay, gosh, look at the time. -Bye-bye. 484 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,811 Oh, I dropped my fork that I didn't stab you on purpose with. 485 00:16:20,038 --> 00:16:21,187 I'll pick it up. 486 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,131 -LOUISE: Oh, no. -GENE: Uh-oh. -TINA: Oh, God. 487 00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:25,708 Wait! Is that my recipe box? 488 00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:28,878 -You stole my recipes? -You can't prove anything. 489 00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:31,030 Well, this has just been delightful. 490 00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,719 Of course you Tonys come in our home, 491 00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:40,556 fork my boy and try to steal my recipes. 492 00:16:40,649 --> 00:16:41,648 They ate my drumsticks. 493 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,168 Okay, yes, we did all of those things. 494 00:16:44,395 --> 00:16:47,154 No matter how much we told someone to be cool. 495 00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:48,564 It was an accident, sort of. 496 00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,341 But, listen, we wanted to give our mom 497 00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:51,901 something special for Mother's Day. 498 00:16:51,994 --> 00:16:53,586 -The brunch and wash? -No, the recipe 499 00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:56,572 for her great-grandma Maria's Bolognese sauce. 500 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,074 And that's the whole truth. 501 00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,684 -Well, she's also not our mom. -Right. Good point. 502 00:16:59,911 --> 00:17:01,853 I'm Linda's brilliant sister Gayle. 503 00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:03,187 So now that's the whole truth. 504 00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:05,005 Also, I haven't brushed my teeth in four weeks. 505 00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,340 There, that's it! 506 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,084 Why would you think I would have that recipe? 507 00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,177 Because you're no-good Joeys? 508 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,604 We don't have it. The Tonys do. 509 00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:13,531 One of you took it when you were going through 510 00:17:13,682 --> 00:17:16,034 Grandma Maria's stuff in her basement after she passed. 511 00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,851 And you won't share it with us! 512 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,353 -Liar! -Ugh, now I'm hearing 513 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,705 Gloria's voice in there. (groans) 514 00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:23,207 Lorraine, our family doesn't have the recipe. We swear. 515 00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:24,876 It's why we came all the way to your house today. 516 00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,527 And to hang with this guy. Am I right? 517 00:17:26,621 --> 00:17:28,546 We just wanted to do it for our mom-- our real mom. 518 00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:31,290 She said that sauce reminds her of her Grandma Claudia, 519 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:32,775 who she was missing today, 520 00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,944 and she said she wished she could taste it again. 521 00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,554 Huh. All these years, Tony's side thought 522 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,632 Joey's side had it, and Joey's side thought Tony's side had it. 523 00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,392 And after the totally understandable 524 00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,302 -wedding dress incident... -I mean... 525 00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:45,045 ...no one's talking to each other. 526 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,231 And we all think the other side is having Nana Maria's 527 00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:49,216 incredible Bolognese for dinner every night. 528 00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,218 But no one was Bolog-nosey enough 529 00:17:51,312 --> 00:17:53,237 to come after the recipe until us. 530 00:17:53,464 --> 00:17:55,907 The rest of Nana's stuff went off on a truck to Goodwill. 531 00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:58,801 Some stranger's making great sauce right now. 532 00:17:58,803 --> 00:18:01,412 -And Tina's making another card. -Damn it. 533 00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,806 LINDA: I really think it came out great. 534 00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,641 Y-You know you can put your shirt back on, right? 535 00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:08,235 Uh, I just want to let the tat breathe a little. 536 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,146 -It's still pretty raw. -It's pen, Teddy. 537 00:18:10,164 --> 00:18:11,997 Yeah, but she pressed really hard. 538 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,424 -(phone chimes) -Oh, here we go. 539 00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:16,152 Mom says, "On second thought, I don't think it works." 540 00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:17,428 -Crap. -I guess it's back to 541 00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:19,580 paying to have her tattoo removed. 542 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,432 I might have to sell my truck, but that's okay. 543 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,251 I can bike my tools and ladders around. Or scooter. 544 00:18:24,345 --> 00:18:26,011 Wait. Teddy, this is crazy. 545 00:18:26,164 --> 00:18:27,680 Your mom loved gin rummy enough 546 00:18:27,832 --> 00:18:29,682 to get a tattoo of it on her upper, upper thigh. 547 00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,776 Well, do you want to know what's cheaper than 548 00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:32,944 getting a tattoo removed? 549 00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:34,595 Your mom calling her card buddies 550 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,173 and telling them she's sorry for being such a rummy crumbum 551 00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,599 that they kicked her out of the group. 552 00:18:38,676 --> 00:18:40,359 You think she should try to patch things up 553 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,436 -with the Rum Runners? -Yes, Teddy, I do. 554 00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:44,347 Funny, coming from the lady with the family feud 555 00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:45,939 that's three generations long. 556 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,126 -It's Mother's Day. Shush. -Yup. Sorry. 557 00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,627 I'm gonna call her. 558 00:18:49,778 --> 00:18:50,777 Ma?! What?! 559 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,204 -Teddy, you're shouting. -Ma?! 560 00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:53,297 -I can't... -Teddy. 561 00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:54,857 Bob, I'm gonna take this outside. 562 00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,283 It's too loud in here. 563 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,118 -Ma?! Ma?! -Ooh, there they are. 564 00:18:58,212 --> 00:18:59,712 -Hey, kids. Ma?! -Hi, Gayle. 565 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,365 Does some lucky mom have a sweet Mother's Day present 566 00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:03,699 coming her way? 567 00:19:03,718 --> 00:19:05,868 We wanted to get you something really special, 568 00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:07,294 but we kind of failed. 569 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,054 Turns out we weren't too big to fail. 570 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,481 Wait, what were you kids trying to get me? 571 00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:12,892 Your great-grandmother's Bolognese recipe 572 00:19:12,968 --> 00:19:14,819 that Grandma Claudia used to make for you. 573 00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:18,564 Oh, my God! I'm gonna cry. (sobs) 574 00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:19,824 That's so sweet. (sniffles) 575 00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:22,568 Oh, snot's coming out. Snot's coming out. 576 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,478 How would you even get that? 577 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,405 Aunt Gayle took us to your cousin Lorraine's house. 578 00:19:26,557 --> 00:19:28,649 -What? -In my car that I know how to drive. 579 00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:30,484 -She wouldn't give you the recipe, huh? -TINA: No. 580 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,170 She couldn't give us the recipe because 581 00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:34,154 she doesn't have the recipe. No one does. 582 00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:35,731 Wait, what? Wh-What do you mean? 583 00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:37,491 Great-Uncle Joey never had it. 584 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,235 They thought our side of the family took it. 585 00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:41,904 Wait, so the Joeys aren't recipe stealers? 586 00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:44,515 -It's just gone? -It's sauced in translation. 587 00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:46,851 And you know what? I'm just gonna say it. 588 00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,427 This feud is dumb. 589 00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:50,504 Somebody bought a house, and then somebody forked somebody, 590 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,857 like, forever ago, and everyone should just get over it. 591 00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:56,176 People get forked every day and move on with their lives. 592 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,920 I forked Nico today. 593 00:19:58,013 --> 00:20:00,272 I mean, what-- We're supposed to be the idiot kids. 594 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,941 Why do we have to tell you all this crap? 595 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,517 Yeah, Mom, grow up! Uh, sorry. 596 00:20:03,594 --> 00:20:06,262 Wow. Don't really like that smart-mouth attitude, 597 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,446 but maybe you're right. 598 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:10,023 Maybe it's time to start putting feuds behind us. 599 00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:11,542 Gin rummy feuds, family feuds... 600 00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:14,712 Yeah, I was kind of the one who pointed that out earlier. 601 00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,456 -It's Mother's Day! -(door opens) 602 00:20:17,608 --> 00:20:19,475 Well, she wasn't crazy about the apology idea, 603 00:20:19,477 --> 00:20:21,201 but she said maybe she'll hold off 604 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,461 on getting the tattoo removed. 605 00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:24,371 She told me to just take her someplace nice 606 00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:26,966 for a baked potato and then call it a Mother's Day. 607 00:20:27,118 --> 00:20:28,133 Ooh, baked potato. 608 00:20:28,286 --> 00:20:29,301 Well, we're sorry we couldn't get you 609 00:20:29,454 --> 00:20:30,636 your family's sauce recipe. 610 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,379 But we made you this card on the way home. 611 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,458 It says "Moth-er's Day," and I drew you as a moth. 612 00:20:35,626 --> 00:20:36,308 That'd be a good tattoo. 613 00:20:36,461 --> 00:20:38,477 Aw. You kids are incredible, 614 00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:39,812 and you acted so grown-up today. 615 00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:41,555 Trying to end a bitter family feud. 616 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,300 And I made you that way, so I'm, like, the best mom in the world. 617 00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:46,410 Now come here, my little babies. I love you so much. 618 00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:48,137 Hey, maybe we should have Lorraine and Nico 619 00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:49,321 over for dinner sometime. 620 00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:51,307 -We owe him some chicken. -Okay, fine. 621 00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:52,899 -But then we can prank them. -Yeah. 622 00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,234 I'll hide a fork in my sock. 623 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,811 Fork both of them when they're not looking, 624 00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:57,313 -as a fun joke. -Yeah, yeah. 625 00:20:57,315 --> 00:20:59,423 GENE: Never cross these women! 626 00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:00,833 ♪ Floppy waffles ♪ 627 00:21:00,985 --> 00:21:02,260 ♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪ 628 00:21:02,453 --> 00:21:03,669 (sputters lips) 629 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,246 ♪ Mother's Day in the kitchen ♪ 630 00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:09,100 ♪ Things are getting sloppy ♪ 631 00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:10,751 ♪ Oh, my, check it out ♪ 632 00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:12,419 ♪ It's gonna make you scream and shout ♪ 633 00:21:12,513 --> 00:21:13,920 ♪ Your waffles are pretty floppy ♪ 634 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,347 ♪ Floppy waffles ♪ 635 00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:16,499 ♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪ 636 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,125 (sputters lips) 637 00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:19,685 -♪ Floppy waffles ♪ -♪ Floppy waffles... ♪ 638 00:21:19,837 --> 00:21:21,353 ♪ Floppy waffles falafels ♪ 639 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,856 ♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪ 640 00:21:24,008 --> 00:21:26,266 ♪ Floppy waffles, floppy waffles ♪ 641 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:29,345 ♪ Flippity flop, flop, floppity flop, flop, flop ♪ 642 00:21:29,363 --> 00:21:30,621 (stammers) ♪ Waffles. ♪ 643 00:21:30,773 --> 00:21:32,515 Huh, fell on the floor. Ah, I'm still eating it. 644 00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:33,457 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 645 00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,709 and TOYOTA.