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♪ ♪
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LINDA:
Okay, my little snow globes,
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I found some mittens
for our snow tubing trip today.
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Not all the mittens
have matches,
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but you can mix them up
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like Punky Brewster did
with her shoes.
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Boy, she knew how to have fun.
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My snow pants are kind of tight.
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Guess I grew a little
since last winter.
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That's what happens
when we water you
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and give you lots of sunlight.
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(sighs) This coat seems
pretty aerodynamic.
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Probably not gonna get
a lot of wind resistance.
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-Good for snoobing.
-What's snoobing?
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Oh, like snow tubing?
Snoobing? I get it.
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Yeah, you do.
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These feel okay, I guess.
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Can you tell they're
giving me a wedgie?
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-No...?
-(doorbell rings)
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BOB:
That's probably Teddy.
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I'll let him in.
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Why is Teddy coming upstairs?
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Is the restaurant gonna be
up here today?
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No, he's coming to work on
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a bunch of little things
around the apartment.
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You know, like the
wobbly flusher on the toilet.
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We're finally gonna fix it.
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But our wobbly flusher makes
a funky sound when I jiggle it.
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Now what am I gonna jiggle?
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-Hey, Teddy.
-Hey, Linda.
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Oh, you kids are bundled up.
Going outside to play?
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I guess the snow's
not that old and dirty.
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-That's what we say about Dad.
-Gene.
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We're going snow tubing today.
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-Snoobing.
-Snoobing. Right.
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Oh, that sounds fun.
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You guys going
to Avalanche Mountain?
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Avalanche Mountain closed.
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Oh, no. Why'd it close?
Avalanche?
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No. Back taxes, I think.
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We're gonna try
this new place out in Redburn.
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-Wait. You guys are
going to Redburn today?
-Yeah, why?
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My mom's buried
in the cemetery in Redburn.
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She is? I didn't know that.
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Yeah. Uh, we didn't live there,
but it's a nice cemetery.
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I remember my dad
was sort of proud
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that he got her a plot there.
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Is that like getting into
a good school?
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Should I start doing more
extracurriculars now, or...?
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-Uh, no, Tina.
-Oh, good.
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Wait, you guys have never
visited my mom's grave.
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I mean, I haven't
been there myself
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in a really, really long time.
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But if you guys are
going to Redburn,
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maybe I'll come with you,
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and then maybe we can
all visit my mom's grave,
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and we can go snoobing
together afterwards?
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What are we gonna do
about the restaurant?
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We could close for now
and be back for the dinner rush.
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You're closing the restaurant
for lunch.
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I didn't plan on that,
but it's totally fine.
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I can change my plans.
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No big deal.
Mr. Flexible over here.
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-Easy, Teddy.
-Sorry. Sorry.
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Okay. We're going to see
your mom's grave,
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and then-then
we're gonna go snoobing.
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Uh, okay.
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You're saying "okay" in a way
that's not weird at all.
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Yeah. It's just, uh, you know,
my thing with cemeteries.
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Uh, they kind of give me
the heebie-jeebies.
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Heebie Jeebies is the name of
Ken's Oingo Boingo cover band.
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Oh, right, I forgot about
your cemetery thing.
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If you want,
you can stay at the restaurant
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and I'll take the kids today.
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Oh, that's an interesting idea.
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Keep the restaurant open. Linda?
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Uh, no, no, I'll go
and support my husband
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and all that good wife crap.
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-I mean, I love you.
-Hmm.
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LINDA:
Supportive. Yay.
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So, it's taking us
a little longer to get there
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than I thought it would.
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We hit some traffic.
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-And there were some pee stops.
-GENE: Mm-hmm.
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And it also took a while
to leave the apartment.
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Making cards for my mom,
for Grandma,
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seemed like a good idea
that I had,
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but it was time-consuming.
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Some of us nailed it.
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"You put the grand in grandma,
I'm guessing.
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I never met you. Love, Tina."
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Eh, it's no drawing of Grandma
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kickboxing all the clouds
in heaven.
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And I wrote, "I hope
you're giving heaven hell."
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I drew her as Uma Thurman
from that dancing scene
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with John Travolta
in Pulp Fiction.
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She'll love it.
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So, Dad, when was the last time
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you visited your mom's grave?
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Oh, I honestly can't remember.
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It was so many years ago.
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-Did you have hair?
-Yes.
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-On the part of your head
that I can see right now?
-Yes.
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-What color was it?
-GENE: Were you a spicy redhead
back then?
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-BOB: No.
-GENE: Boo.
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(Linda moaning nervously)
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BOB:
Lin, you okay?
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Oh, yeah. I'm just ducking down.
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You know, in case anything
comes out of the cemetery
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to suck my soul.
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I mean, I know
that's not how it works.
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Uh, no, that's how it works.
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Lin, you-you can stay
in the car.
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You don't have to get out.
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Me? In the car?
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By myself? In the cemetery?
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Are you playing Clue right now?
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Or how about we park
on the street?
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And the kids and I
can walk inside?
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Ah, no, I want
to be there for you.
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Seriously, you-you don't
have to come in.
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LINDA:
Really?
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Yes. Definitely.
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Okay. Kids, say
hi to Grandma for me.
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And if anything tries
to suck your soul,
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just spit on your fingertips,
slap the ground three times,
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and run back to the car.
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Okay.
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LOUISE:
Ooh, look at all that
white gold. Sorry, sorry.
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We're visiting Grandma now,
snoobing later.
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-I'm in the moment.
-BOB: All right, I-I think
we go that way?
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Or maybe that way?
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TINA:
Okay. Good start.
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Oh, that building
must be the office.
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Uh, let's go in and see
if they have a map.
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And maybe a hot cocoa
to warm up?
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TINA:
I'd sit by the fire
and have a hot cocoa.
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Guys, there's no cocoa.
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It's an office at a cemetery,
not a lodge.
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LOUISE:
Not with that attitude.
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Hi. Bathroom's
over there on the left.
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Uh, we don't need the bathroom.
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Oh, sorry, you had that look.
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Our dad just has
resting pee face.
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Louise. Um, I-I'm
looking for my mother's grave.
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Do you happen to have a map
I could use?
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Oh, yes. We have maps.
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Where did I put them?
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Sorry for your loss.
Uh, when did your mother pass?
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Um, 33 years ago...?
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I mean, 32.
Wait, how old am I?
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64?
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-Lower. I think.
-I'm not in my 60s.
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When was the last time
you visited us?
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Um, uh, you know,
it's been a while.
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Last year?
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Not quite last year, no.
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I-I think it's been,
um, uh, 20 years?
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Did you move out of state?
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That happens when people
move out of state.
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No, no, we've been...
We've been here.
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O-kay.
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Here's a map.
What's your mother's name?
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Belcher. Lily Belcher.
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Let's see...
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Ah, she's right over here.
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Okay, great. Thanks.
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Gonna get this baby ready
to give to Grandma.
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Oh, uh, sorry,
can't leave cards.
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Or anything except flowers.
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Oh, my mom didn't like
getting flowers.
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She was more
of a "don't pick 'em,
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just leave 'em"
kind of person.
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That's what I say about boogers.
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Well, cards are against
the rules, sorry.
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It's okay. We don't have
to leave our cards.
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I didn't work a long time
on mine or anything.
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I could leave Grandma
the granola bar
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I just found in my pocket.
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They're biodegradable.
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I hope she likes them
warm and smushed.
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(grunts) Is it rude to pick
your wedgie in a cemetery?
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I think it's rude not to.
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This map is really hard to read.
185
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It-it looks like
a Xerox of a Xerox.
186
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Oh, Papa, stop making up words
and find Grandma already.
187
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Okay, well, she's not here,
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because this seems like the
really old part of the cemetery.
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That I sort of remember?
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It's pretty, in a grave-y way.
191
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Also in a groovy way.
192
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That guy died in the '60s.
The 1860s.
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Lot of walking, which is cool.
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Should we have rented
Segues for this?
195
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-Cemetery Segues?
-Segue-teries?
196
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Okay, we're looking for a grave
that's flat on the ground.
197
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Uh, I can't read this.
Can-can you read this?
198
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Uh, are those even letters?
199
00:06:34,119 --> 00:06:35,877
I think it says Patrick-cake?
200
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,471
No, it says Ram-snicks-icks.
201
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Uh, let's try this way.
202
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GENE:
I wonder how Mom's doing.
Do you think she remembers us?
203
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♪ Everything is fine,
everything's okay ♪
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♪ Not gonna look
at the cemetery ♪
205
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♪ Oh, my God I peeked ♪
206
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♪ Did the dead people see me? ♪
207
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♪ Are they gonna come get me? ♪
208
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♪ I sure hope not. ♪
209
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Okay, where are we?
210
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Don't worry, kids, we-we're
gonna find Grandma soon.
211
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Oh, what? It's fine,
we haven't been keeping track
212
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of how long
this is taking at all.
213
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Wait a second, are we back in
the old part of the cemetery?
214
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Oh, yeah. I remember that angel.
215
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The snow makes it look like
he's wearing a cool hat.
216
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I remember I said,
"Cool hat, bro."
217
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Oh, my God. I have no idea
where I'm supposed to go.
218
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I can't find my mom's grave.
I-I can't find my mom's grave.
219
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I am a horrible person.
220
00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:26,611
But a great granola bar opener?
221
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Please? Sir?
222
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Oh, yeah, look at that.
Good job, Dad.
223
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I'm so sorry, kids,
this-this was
224
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not supposed to take this long.
225
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You should be
snoobing right now.
226
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's fine, it's fine.
227
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,520
But we can't go without
seeing my mom's grave.
228
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I mean, I don't really
believe in ghosts,
229
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but I feel like all these people
buried here are judging me
230
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and saying I'm a terrible son
and a terrible person.
231
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Maybe they're saying,
"No prob, Bob. Go snoob."
232
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Yeah, if the ghosts
are judging you,
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it's about so many other things.
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(grunts) I wish
I wore bigger pants.
235
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We all do.
236
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Uh, I'm gonna call your mom
237
00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:02,706
and tell her we're gonna
be a little longer.
238
00:08:02,799 --> 00:08:06,543
Okay, there's like
a 90% chance my whole family got
239
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pulled into a grave and that's
why they're taking so long.
240
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-(phone buzzes)
-Ah! Bob?
241
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BOB:
Lin-- We're-- We're, uh--
--metery-- a little bit l-- now.
242
00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:16,386
What? I-I can't hear you.
Y-You're breaking up.
243
00:08:16,404 --> 00:08:18,330
BOB:
I c-- hear you-- No, you're c--
--ing out.
244
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:20,406
Did you get pulled
into a grave or not?
245
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,727
Lin? Oh, disconnected.
Really bad reception here.
246
00:08:23,745 --> 00:08:25,837
I mean, it's not like
they need cell phone service,
247
00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:27,172
but I'd like to think
248
00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,156
wherever they are now
has unlimited texting.
249
00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:30,900
Ah, shoot. I lost him.
250
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:32,010
-(phone buzzes)
-Hello? Bob?
251
00:08:32,161 --> 00:08:33,236
-Hey, Lin.
-Teddy?
252
00:08:33,255 --> 00:08:34,679
The toilet handle is fixed
253
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,497
and I'm just finishing
patching that hole in the wall.
254
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,332
Well, I won't be able
to walk by it
255
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,518
and say "holey moley" anymore,
256
00:08:39,594 --> 00:08:41,411
but it'll be nice
to have a fixed-up wall.
257
00:08:41,429 --> 00:08:43,079
-Thanks, Teddy.
-Sure thing.
258
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:45,598
Hey, I tried to call Bob and it
went straight to voice mail.
259
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,509
Is he screening my calls?
Just kidding. But is he?
260
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:51,178
No, he's in the cemetery
and there's bad reception there.
261
00:08:51,273 --> 00:08:53,198
Oh. Why aren't you
in the cemetery?
262
00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:55,016
I'm waiting for them in the car.
263
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,535
-I couldn't go in.
-Oh, right.
264
00:08:56,762 --> 00:09:00,113
Your whole totally normal for an
adult fear of cemeteries thing.
265
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:01,447
Yeah, I-I know.
266
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:04,267
I feel bad, but why couldn't
Bob's mom be buried
267
00:09:04,286 --> 00:09:06,452
in a nice, well-lit mall
or something?
268
00:09:06,621 --> 00:09:09,047
But Lin, if anything
scary's gonna happen,
269
00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:10,774
it'll happen at night.
During the day,
270
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:13,385
it's just a pretty park
with not enough places to sit.
271
00:09:13,612 --> 00:09:16,279
You know what, Teddy?
You're right.
272
00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,781
It's daytime. I'll be fine.
273
00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:21,059
Okay, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go inside the cemetery
274
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,635
and I'm gonna be there for Bob.
275
00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:23,711
Good for you, Lin.
276
00:09:23,789 --> 00:09:25,713
Oof, I-I'm feeling
light-headed.
277
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:26,898
Teddy, are you okay?
278
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,792
Yeah, I think it's
low blood sugar.
279
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:29,901
I skipped lunch.
280
00:09:30,128 --> 00:09:31,461
I couldn't think
of any place to eat
281
00:09:31,479 --> 00:09:32,979
and I'm not allowed
to pretend to be Bob
282
00:09:33,131 --> 00:09:34,239
and cook in the restaurant
anymore,
283
00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:35,815
so here we are. (chuckles)
284
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,909
Listen, help yourself
to anything in the fridge.
285
00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:40,895
Okay. Thanks, Lin,
I'm gonna go do that right now.
286
00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,155
Okay, bye.
287
00:09:42,231 --> 00:09:43,898
Oh, but don't eat
the leftover meatloaf,
288
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:44,991
we're saving that for dinner.
289
00:09:45,143 --> 00:09:46,585
Hello? Oh, he hung up.
290
00:09:46,736 --> 00:09:48,069
It's okay, I'll text him.
291
00:09:48,313 --> 00:09:50,997
And I'll text Bob his super
supportive wife is on her way.
292
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,665
And he's lucky to have me.
293
00:09:52,818 --> 00:09:54,408
Eh, what do we got here?
294
00:09:54,502 --> 00:09:56,836
Oh, meatloaf.
Maybe I'll try this.
295
00:09:56,988 --> 00:09:58,079
Should I heat it up or...
296
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,490
Oh. Oh, I'm eating it.
It's so good.
297
00:10:00,508 --> 00:10:01,507
Oh, and now I'm crying
a little bit.
298
00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:02,934
-Oh, I was so hungry.
-(phone dings)
299
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:04,919
Oh. Oh...
300
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,772
TINA:
Damn. The sun looks like
it's gonna set soon.
301
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:08,848
It's 'snoob big deal.
302
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,108
I mean, it's no big deal.
303
00:10:10,259 --> 00:10:12,444
Yeah, I-I'm sorry again, kids.
304
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,446
Hey, there's still
a little time to snoob,
305
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:16,856
if we found the grave,
like, right now.
306
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,265
What if we shouted "Grandma"?
307
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,618
Maybe she'd give us a sign
308
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:22,103
and a branch would fall off
a tree or something?
309
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,529
Grandma! Anything?
310
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,625
Uh, okay, let's not shout
"Grandma" in a cemetery.
311
00:10:26,776 --> 00:10:29,110
A lot of people here
probably answer to that name.
312
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,037
Oh, hey, look.
Uh, a flat section.
313
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:33,114
We weren't here
already, were we?
314
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:34,374
GENE:
I don't think so.
315
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:36,117
I don't see any footprints
in the snow.
316
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,527
Or any of the beautiful
butt-prints I made.
317
00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:39,545
Okay, great.
Let's try this section.
318
00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:42,456
-And make more butt-prints. And
this time I won't hold back.
-Mm.
319
00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:45,977
Thanks. Sorry about all
the weird questions.
320
00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:48,388
I know I don't need to hold my
breath the whole time I'm here
321
00:10:48,464 --> 00:10:50,206
so I don't die.
(chuckles nervously)
322
00:10:50,299 --> 00:10:52,041
You probably get that
a lot, right?
323
00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:54,878
No? Well, uh,
thanks for the map.
324
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:57,656
Okay, here I am.
325
00:10:57,883 --> 00:10:59,399
Walking in the cemetery.
326
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:02,143
All right, map,
where's my family?
327
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:03,811
Oh, my God,
this thing is terrible.
328
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,147
Are you my dad's mom? No.
329
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,832
Are you my dad's mom? No.
330
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,151
Gene, you don't have
to say that every time.
331
00:11:10,245 --> 00:11:11,394
What if I whisper it?
332
00:11:11,413 --> 00:11:12,912
(quietly):
Are you my dad's mom? No.
333
00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:15,507
Hey, so you know, I'm locking
the gate in about a half-hour.
334
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:18,492
Which is exactly how much time
I have left in this podcast.
335
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:21,513
Oh, God. Okay, well,
thanks for letting us know.
336
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,664
H-Hey, could you
help us out real quick?
337
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,590
Yep. You, too.
338
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,351
BOB:
Oh, you're driving away.
339
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:28,261
Good luck with the podcast,
I hear they're great!
340
00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:31,022
Hey, Dad? Didn't you
say Grandma died 33 years ago?
341
00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:32,598
-Yeah.
-All the graves that I'm seeing
342
00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:35,509
are for people who died within,
like, the last ten years.
343
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,861
-Same.
-Yeah, same.
344
00:11:37,088 --> 00:11:38,271
(sighs) You know what?
345
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:40,014
Let's just go to the car
346
00:11:40,108 --> 00:11:41,682
and-and come back another time.
347
00:11:41,776 --> 00:11:43,034
Th-This isn't gonna work.
348
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,186
We're not gonna find the grave
in the next 30 minutes.
349
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,446
Are you sure, Dad?
350
00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:47,764
Yeah. Let's go.
351
00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:50,116
And maybe you guys can get
a little snoobing in
352
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,026
and the day won't be
a total waste.
353
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,862
Okay. Um, sorry we
didn't find Grandma.
354
00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,289
Bye, Grandma!
355
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,866
And I'm sorry I ate your granola
bar. You didn't miss much.
356
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:01,535
When we come back, I'll bring
the kind with chocolate chips.
357
00:12:01,629 --> 00:12:04,797
Okay. Crooked cabinet door
is no longer crooked.
358
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,391
Mmm. Eating and working.
359
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:09,710
Mm-mm-mmm. All right,
what's next on the list?
360
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,304
Oh. A text from Linda.
361
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,507
"Don't eat the meatloaf,
we're saving it for dinner."
362
00:12:14,659 --> 00:12:15,716
What? No!
363
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,143
Ah! I ate their dinner?
364
00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:19,479
Ah, God, what am I gonna do?
365
00:12:19,631 --> 00:12:21,981
Ah! Ah!
Think, Teddy, think.
366
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:24,391
Uh, I could, uh, uh...
367
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,137
Uh, I could... make another
meatloaf. Yes. Good plan.
368
00:12:28,156 --> 00:12:30,306
Okay.
Looking up meatloaf recipes.
369
00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:32,141
And I guess
I might as well finish this
370
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,159
while I'm doing it.
371
00:12:33,311 --> 00:12:34,811
Oh, that's so good.
372
00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:37,146
Uh, where's your mom?
373
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,406
Is she hiding behind the seats?
That's fun.
374
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,000
Maybe she found a better car?
375
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,927
-She's always wanted
a PT Cruiser.
-(phone chiming)
376
00:12:43,079 --> 00:12:44,654
Hold on,
I'm getting a bunch of texts.
377
00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:47,081
A lot of messages from Teddy.
378
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,841
-Something about a meatloaf.
-GENE: Mmm.
379
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,268
Oh, here's one from your mom.
380
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:51,102
Oh, no.
381
00:12:51,254 --> 00:12:52,512
She went into the cemetery.
382
00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:54,088
She's in there
right now looking for us.
383
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,607
-What?
-No!
384
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:57,667
I'm trying to call her, but it's
going straight to voice mail.
385
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,445
She's probably out of range.
Listen, kids...
386
00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:01,428
Don't say it, Dad.
387
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,264
We got to go back
in the cemetery.
388
00:13:03,358 --> 00:13:04,783
-He said it.
-Dang it.
389
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,175
We have to find your mom.
390
00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:07,601
First of all, we love her
391
00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:08,953
and we shouldn't abandon her.
392
00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:11,030
And second,
she's in the scariest place
393
00:13:11,182 --> 00:13:12,698
imaginable to her,
all by herself.
394
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,942
Maybe it's not as bad as she
thought it was gonna be?
395
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:15,960
(breathing heavily)
396
00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:17,186
(branch snaps)
397
00:13:17,355 --> 00:13:18,354
-Oh, my God!
-(crow cawing)
398
00:13:18,373 --> 00:13:19,689
Ah! Cemetery bird!
399
00:13:19,782 --> 00:13:23,026
Look, I know I couldn't find
my own mother's grave.
400
00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:25,044
But your mom
will be easier to find.
401
00:13:25,196 --> 00:13:26,379
I hope. I mean, she's louder.
402
00:13:26,531 --> 00:13:27,547
And then we'll leave
403
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:30,475
and maybe we'll still be
able to snoob. Possibly.
404
00:13:30,626 --> 00:13:33,219
For 20 minutes or so, before
the snoobing place closes.
405
00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:34,387
But if we can't, at least
406
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,055
this is your mom's fault
and not mine.
407
00:13:36,207 --> 00:13:37,732
Ah! Parents!
408
00:13:41,304 --> 00:13:43,321
Crap, where is your mom?
(exhales)
409
00:13:43,472 --> 00:13:46,049
Uh, you guys have
been quiet for a while.
410
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,217
Is-is it 'cause,
instead of snoobing,
411
00:13:48,278 --> 00:13:50,403
we've been doing this so much?
412
00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:52,889
Hey. Snoobing is just a joyful
thing that kids do,
413
00:13:52,907 --> 00:13:55,683
but getting lost in a cemetery
in the cold is great, too.
414
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,578
LOUISE:
(groans) We were gonna be
zooming down a hill
415
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,396
on an inner tube, using gravity
416
00:14:00,415 --> 00:14:02,507
-for our own sick pleasures.
-BOB: I know.
417
00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,342
LOUISE:
And how are we supposed
to find Mom
418
00:14:04,493 --> 00:14:06,660
in a giant cemetery
with the sun going down?
419
00:14:06,754 --> 00:14:09,830
GENE:
Should we shake some keys
or bang on her food bowl?
420
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:12,575
Oh, why is it getting
so dark out already?
421
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,336
Stupid winter. And where
the hell is this grave?
422
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,915
Okay, maybe I'll try reading
this terrible map one more time.
423
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,917
Heritage Road and Cedar Lane.
424
00:14:21,052 --> 00:14:24,195
Huh. That gobbledygoop
kind of looks "Heritage."
425
00:14:24,347 --> 00:14:26,030
Oh, I'm close to Bob's mom.
426
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:27,365
Guys! I'm close!
427
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,759
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
Excuse me. Sorry.
428
00:14:29,852 --> 00:14:33,204
Okay, I put all the ingredients
in the bowl. What's next?
429
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,357
"Knead everything together using
your hands." All right.
430
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,784
Ahh! This is how you
make meatloaf?
431
00:14:38,937 --> 00:14:40,378
Ugh, oh, gross.
432
00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:42,939
But I got to do it.
Teddy, be strong.
433
00:14:43,032 --> 00:14:45,366
Ahh! Ugh! So slimy.
434
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:49,387
Ohh! Ugh, Bob and Linda are
disgusting. Ugh, ugh.
435
00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:52,115
Well, the sun went down.
Damn sun.
436
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,783
Sorry, sun, it's not your fault.
437
00:14:53,876 --> 00:14:55,785
Guys, I-I know
I keep saying this,
438
00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:59,063
but I really am sorry that
this day is a total failure.
439
00:14:59,215 --> 00:15:01,382
Hold on.
Maybe not a total failure.
440
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,735
What if we snoob right here?
441
00:15:03,962 --> 00:15:04,885
I'm listening.
442
00:15:04,979 --> 00:15:06,295
Look at how steep this hill is.
443
00:15:06,314 --> 00:15:07,980
We can slide down
on our bellies.
444
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:09,132
-Belly-tube.
-Boob.
445
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,150
-Yes.
-I like it, I like it.
446
00:15:11,302 --> 00:15:13,469
Kids, you can't,
we need to find your mom
447
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,154
before they
lock up the cemetery.
448
00:15:15,306 --> 00:15:16,806
Come on, Dad.
Just a little boobing?
449
00:15:16,899 --> 00:15:19,083
-TINA and GENE: Please?
-Please? Please, please, please?
450
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,643
(sighs) Okay, fine.
451
00:15:20,662 --> 00:15:22,921
Just a little bit.
And then w-we go save your mom.
452
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:24,313
-Yes!
-Yeah.
453
00:15:24,407 --> 00:15:27,650
Ready? One, two, three, go!
454
00:15:27,669 --> 00:15:29,969
♪ ♪
455
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,518
-Yeah!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
456
00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:49,113
My wedgie's never been bigger
and I've never felt more alive.
457
00:15:49,265 --> 00:15:51,783
Pretty sure this is the spot.
(grunting)
458
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:52,951
(Linda gasps)
459
00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:56,012
Oh, my God.
Bob's mom. I found you.
460
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,363
Where the heck are Bob
and the kids?
461
00:15:57,515 --> 00:16:00,016
Did the cemetery eat them?
I hope not.
462
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:01,350
No, right?
463
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:05,204
Uh, so, I'm Linda,
your daughter-in-law.
464
00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:08,207
Sorry this is the first time
we're meeting.
465
00:16:08,359 --> 00:16:09,859
I wish we met
when you were alive,
466
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:11,285
but I didn't know Bob back then.
467
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,697
Ah, I don't know why I get
so afraid of cemeteries.
468
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:17,475
I mean, you're here all the time
and you're not complaining.
469
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:21,795
I guess maybe part
of that is cemeteries
470
00:16:21,889 --> 00:16:23,314
kind of make me think about,
471
00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,542
you know, losing someone close
to me, like how Bob lost you.
472
00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:30,046
But hey, I got to tell you,
you made a good guy.
473
00:16:30,139 --> 00:16:32,231
Bob's sweet, he's a great dad.
474
00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:33,974
He always remembers
to put the toilet seat down
475
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,476
in the middle of the night.
476
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,903
Except that one time,
when I fell in. That was bad.
477
00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:39,405
-(whoops)
-I like boobing,
478
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,774
but it's a little hard
on my actual boobs.
479
00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:43,001
Mine are comfortably numb.
480
00:16:43,228 --> 00:16:44,502
I think that's what
that song is about.
481
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:47,079
You could just go down on
your side. A little side boob.
482
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:48,564
Guys, I'm glad
you're all having fun,
483
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,041
but I-I think we need
to get back
484
00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:52,176
to finding your possibly
terrified mom.
485
00:16:52,328 --> 00:16:53,569
TINA:
Wow, yeah, it got dark.
486
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:55,346
LOUISE: There's no way
Mom's still here.
487
00:16:55,498 --> 00:16:57,849
She probably left us
and found a family
488
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,243
that doesn't
wander around in cemeteries.
489
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:02,261
Yeah, she's probably back
at the car. So, let's go.
490
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,763
LINDA:
Can you believe it?
491
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,431
-Ah!
-Is that... Mom?
492
00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:08,084
It's either Mom or a
talking bird that's loving life.
493
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:09,027
-Lin?
-LINDA: Bob?
494
00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:10,253
Lin? Where are you?
495
00:17:10,271 --> 00:17:11,937
LINDA:
I'm at your mom's grave.
496
00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:13,214
Where are you?
497
00:17:13,274 --> 00:17:15,349
Just stay there.
We'll come to you.
498
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,518
Keep saying stuff,
we'll follow your voice.
499
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,854
LINDA:
Okay. Na-na-na-na-na-na.
500
00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:22,206
She's coming from over there.
501
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,116
-LINDA: Na-na-na-na.
-Lin.
502
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,601
Na-na-na-na-na-na.
503
00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:27,378
TINA: Okay, yeah,
we all see each other.
504
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,272
-Na-na-na-na-na.
-TINA: So, you don't have
to do that anymore.
505
00:17:29,290 --> 00:17:31,274
Not that we don't all love it.
506
00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:32,608
Where have you guys been?
507
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,385
Oh, wait, that-that must be
the groundskeeper.
508
00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:36,220
I-I guess we should
flag him down?
509
00:17:36,447 --> 00:17:38,556
Dad, no. He's gonna
make us leave.
510
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:40,874
We finally made it
to Grandma's grave.
511
00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,376
You need to have your visit.
512
00:17:42,470 --> 00:17:44,878
And maybe we want to have
a visit with Grandma, too.
513
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,138
Okay. All right.
514
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,957
What are you doing?
Come over here.
515
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:50,568
-The truck is getting closer.
-Quick, hide.
516
00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:52,219
(quietly):
Okay. Lin, hide.
517
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,629
Huh? Why are we hiding?
518
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:55,573
Because the ghosts are coming?
Oh, God. Oh, God.
519
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:57,391
No, we got to hide
from the groundskeeper.
520
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,818
It-it's a long story,
I'll tell you later.
521
00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:00,244
Just hide, quick, please.
522
00:18:00,396 --> 00:18:02,305
-Oh, okay.
-LOUISE: I love how
Mom will hide
523
00:18:02,323 --> 00:18:05,083
from any authority figure
under any circumstance.
524
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,159
Oh, yeah. She'd take him out
if we told her to.
525
00:18:07,328 --> 00:18:09,145
-What? We're taking him out?
-No. No, no, no.
526
00:18:09,163 --> 00:18:10,445
Okay, no one move.
527
00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:11,831
I'm just gonna pick
a wedgie real quick.
528
00:18:11,983 --> 00:18:13,149
-Tina, no.
-I'm doing it.
529
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:14,592
Ah, I did it.
Oh, it's already back.
530
00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:20,356
So we're hiding from
groundskeepers? I like it.
531
00:18:20,416 --> 00:18:22,825
I'm glad it's not ghosts.
No offense, ghosts.
532
00:18:22,918 --> 00:18:24,343
So, where the heck have
you guys been?
533
00:18:24,495 --> 00:18:26,679
We got really lost.
And then we got lost again.
534
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,589
You should've gotten a map
from that little lodge.
535
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,167
It's an office,
it's not a lodge. And we did.
536
00:18:31,185 --> 00:18:33,018
-Oh.
-Can you be map-blind?
537
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,837
Because if so, Dad's that.
538
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,197
Shh. Here he comes.
539
00:18:40,178 --> 00:18:41,193
Go around the bush.
540
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:43,663
(grunting, straining)
541
00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:47,291
Oh, thank God.
542
00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:50,035
Wow. Lin, I can't believe
you're in a cemetery.
543
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,130
In the dark.
And you were by yourself.
544
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:53,798
Well, not really.
I was with your mom.
545
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:54,966
We had a nice talk.
546
00:18:55,193 --> 00:18:56,359
I mean, I did the talking.
547
00:18:56,377 --> 00:18:58,285
And it helped me relax,
a little.
548
00:18:58,379 --> 00:19:00,045
Also, I was picturing myself
549
00:19:00,198 --> 00:19:01,714
-in Jamaica the whole time.
-Hmm.
550
00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:06,051
So, here we are. Bob's mom,
these are your grandchildren.
551
00:19:06,204 --> 00:19:07,461
The ones I was
telling you about.
552
00:19:07,555 --> 00:19:08,537
-Hi.
-Hey, you.
553
00:19:08,556 --> 00:19:11,040
Uh, hi, Grandma.
We made you cards.
554
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,208
We're not allowed
to leave them here,
555
00:19:12,301 --> 00:19:14,134
but we can show them to you.
556
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,394
Here's mine. Pretty good, huh?
557
00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,304
Be easy on Louise and Gene.
They tried.
558
00:19:17,514 --> 00:19:19,306
Bob, move closer.
559
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,066
And maybe change your face
560
00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:23,310
so it's not so "I'm Bob,
I'm a terrible person"?
561
00:19:23,404 --> 00:19:27,314
Yep, yep, no, I-I know.
I-I-I just, yeah.
562
00:19:27,408 --> 00:19:30,409
Listen. I think I know your mom
well enough to know
563
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:32,486
that she would be okay with you
not coming till now.
564
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,155
Because she'd want you
to be busy living your life,
565
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,823
with your three
beautiful children,
566
00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,492
and your fun, hot wife Linda.
567
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,404
And she'd be so proud of you.
I mean, look what you've done.
568
00:19:41,422 --> 00:19:43,181
With the restaurant,
with this family.
569
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:44,998
-Tina, take your
hand out of your butt.
-Sorry.
570
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,075
Thanks, Lin.
571
00:19:46,093 --> 00:19:47,167
Okay, kids, step back.
572
00:19:47,261 --> 00:19:49,078
You're hogging Grandma.
573
00:19:49,096 --> 00:19:51,355
BOB:
Hi, Mom.
574
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:53,582
TINA:
That was a nice visit.
575
00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:54,525
Until Gene farted.
576
00:19:54,752 --> 00:19:56,343
It wasn't me,
it was a cemetery ghost.
577
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,253
It was me.
578
00:19:57,346 --> 00:19:58,921
BOB:
Yeah, we're locked in.
579
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:01,974
He did say he was gonna do that
and then I guess he did it.
580
00:20:02,126 --> 00:20:03,776
Good for him
for following through.
581
00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,277
So, uh, what do we do?
582
00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:07,263
(sighs)
I don't know. Maybe we...
583
00:20:07,281 --> 00:20:08,614
Oh, your mom's
already climbing the fence.
584
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,600
Let's get the hell out of here.
Come on, come on.
585
00:20:11,602 --> 00:20:12,768
TINA:
Ah, coming.
586
00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:14,045
Ah, first boobing and now
587
00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:15,379
climbing a cemetery fence?
588
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,048
Is this the best night ever?
589
00:20:17,199 --> 00:20:18,123
-(cloth ripping)
-Ah, my snow pants.
590
00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:19,866
Well, no more wedgie, I guess.
591
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:22,220
Wait, I'm not sure if I can
climb this without a boost.
592
00:20:22,447 --> 00:20:24,055
-TINA: Ghost boost?
-GENE: Who you gonna call?
593
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:25,448
LOUISE:
Ghost boosters!
594
00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:26,799
LINDA: Oh, God,
I'm getting in the car!
595
00:20:26,951 --> 00:20:28,559
Eh, looks pretty good.
596
00:20:28,711 --> 00:20:31,378
Not exactly like the one
I ate, but not bad.
597
00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:33,456
Anyway, they're gonna be
really surprised
598
00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:35,641
-that's it's hot
out of the oven.
-Teddy?
599
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,142
Ahh! Oh, jeez.
600
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,720
Oh, my God. Uh, uh...
601
00:20:39,814 --> 00:20:42,798
Go back outside for an hour and
a half and-and then come back.
602
00:20:42,891 --> 00:20:44,391
Okay.
603
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,968
♪ Who's got eyes
that sparkle ♪
604
00:20:45,987 --> 00:20:48,971
♪ like a lily sprinkled
with dew? ♪
605
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:51,732
♪ Lily Belle ♪
606
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:54,585
♪ And who's got lips
as fresh as autumn rain ♪
607
00:20:54,737 --> 00:20:57,480
♪ When summer is through? ♪
608
00:20:57,573 --> 00:21:00,407
♪ Lily Belle ♪
609
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:04,929
♪ And, oh, incidentally ♪
610
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:09,008
♪ There's one more thing
to tell ♪
611
00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:13,178
♪ If your eyes are open and you
think you're seeing a dream ♪
612
00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:15,681
♪ It's Lily Belle. ♪
613
00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:17,349
Captioning sponsored by
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614
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,610
and TOYOTA.