1 00:00:16,838 --> 00:00:19,007 SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 2 00:00:19,074 --> 00:00:20,442 BUT WE PUT A MAN ON THE MOON, 3 00:00:20,509 --> 00:00:23,044 AND WOMEN PLAY FOOTBALL IN THEIR UNDERWEAR. 4 00:00:23,112 --> 00:00:25,013 WE PUT A MAN ON THE MOON? 5 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,481 THAT IS AWESOME. 6 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,583 YOU KNOW, I OFTEN WONDER WHY WE TALK AT ALL. 7 00:00:29,518 --> 00:00:31,686 BEN. JESSIE! JESSIE, HI. 8 00:00:31,753 --> 00:00:32,754 ROMAN THIS IS JESSIE. 9 00:00:32,821 --> 00:00:34,389 JESSIE IS THE STAR QUARTERBACK 10 00:00:34,456 --> 00:00:36,458 OF OUR ARCH RIVALS, THE SEATTLE MIST. 11 00:00:36,525 --> 00:00:37,959 WE'VE MANAGED TO PUT THAT RIVALRY 12 00:00:38,026 --> 00:00:40,162 BEHIND US THREE TIMES. 13 00:00:40,229 --> 00:00:42,197 WELL, TWO AND A HALF TIMES, BUT I'VE ROUNDED UP. 14 00:00:42,264 --> 00:00:43,298 HI, ROMAN. 15 00:00:43,365 --> 00:00:44,733 (STUTTERING) 16 00:00:44,799 --> 00:00:46,768 ROMAN SAYS, "IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU." 17 00:00:46,835 --> 00:00:48,837 HE ALSO SAYS, (IMITATES ROMAN) 18 00:00:48,903 --> 00:00:50,539 SO, JESSIE, YOU WANNA HANG OUT AFTER THE GAME? 19 00:00:50,605 --> 00:00:51,706 YOU KNOW, A LITTLE RUBDOWN, 20 00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:53,142 HIT THE SHOWERS, TAPE EACH OTHER UP? 21 00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:54,209 HAVE A DRINK? 22 00:00:54,276 --> 00:00:57,379 WHOA, SLOW DOWN. OKAY. ONE DRINK. 23 00:00:57,446 --> 00:01:00,048 HMM. (LAUGHS) BYE, BEN. 24 00:01:00,115 --> 00:01:01,516 SEE THAT? SHE'S GONNA PUT HER HELMET ON 25 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,518 AND THEN PLAY FOOTBALL FOR OUR ENJOYMENT. 26 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,820 IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT? 27 00:01:05,887 --> 00:01:08,923 HEY, HOW DO YOU JUST TALK TO A WOMAN LIKE THAT? 28 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:12,494 WELL, FIRST OF ALL, IT HELPS TO USE ACTUAL WORDS. 29 00:01:12,561 --> 00:01:15,096 YEAH, I WISH I COULD TELL HEATHER HOW I FEEL. 30 00:01:15,164 --> 00:01:16,565 I JUST GET SO SCARED. 31 00:01:16,631 --> 00:01:18,200 WELL, THAT'S A HEALTHY FEAR, ROMAN. 32 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:19,534 SHE'S TRIED TO KILL PEOPLE. 33 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,470 (CHUCKLES) SHE'S LAYERED. 34 00:01:21,536 --> 00:01:24,639 SHE IS JUST SO LAYERED. YEAH. 35 00:01:24,706 --> 00:01:27,409 (TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) SO HERE WE ARE, GUYS. THE BEST SUITE IN THE HOUSE. 36 00:01:27,476 --> 00:01:28,777 GOT YOUR FULL BAR, 37 00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:30,579 A 50-INCH FLAT SCREEN, 38 00:01:30,645 --> 00:01:32,447 WIRELESS INTERNET, COURTESY OF SOMETHING 39 00:01:32,514 --> 00:01:35,184 YOU GUYS PROBABLY INVENTED WHEN YOU WERE 12. (LAUGHS) 40 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,552 JIMMY, CHECK OUT THE 1080p/24. 41 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,488 (LAUGHS) TOMMY: THAT'S HILARIOUS. 42 00:01:39,554 --> 00:01:41,623 YEAH, PINCH ME. WE'RE IN THE FUTURE. 43 00:01:41,690 --> 00:01:43,525 (CHUCKLES) SO IF YOU GUYS WANT 44 00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:45,927 BURGERS, POPCORN, CANDY, IT IS ALL ON THE HOUSE. 45 00:01:45,994 --> 00:01:48,530 REALLY? IT'S ALL FREE? YEAH. MM-HMM. 46 00:01:48,597 --> 00:01:50,599 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) I JUST MADE ANOTHER MILLION DOLLARS, 47 00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:52,501 BUT FREE NUT CLUSTERS... 48 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:54,236 (CHUCKLES) (WHISPERS) WOW. 49 00:01:54,303 --> 00:01:57,539 UH-HUH. (LAUGHS) UH, HEY. 50 00:01:57,606 --> 00:02:00,442 HEY. WHO ARE THOSE JERKS? 51 00:02:00,509 --> 00:02:02,377 (LOWERED VOICE) UH, THE WAGNER BROTHERS. 52 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:04,145 AND THEY'RE NOT JERKS. THEY'RE DOT-COM BILLIONAIRE JERKS. 53 00:02:04,213 --> 00:02:06,047 I'M TRYING TO GET THEM TO DONATE A PILE OF DOUGH 54 00:02:06,114 --> 00:02:07,616 TO BUILD A CHILDREN'S CENTER. 55 00:02:07,682 --> 00:02:10,485 OH. YOU WANT SOME HELP? I'M PRETTY GOOD AT CLOSING DEALS. 56 00:02:10,552 --> 00:02:13,455 AND YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH THE JOLLY PRETZEL NEGOTIATIONS, 57 00:02:13,522 --> 00:02:14,889 BABY, BUT CHARITY ISN'T SALES. 58 00:02:14,956 --> 00:02:16,658 I KNOW, BUT I CAN... APPRECIATE IT, 59 00:02:16,725 --> 00:02:19,661 BUT I GOT THIS. LET DADDY DRIVE THE BUS. 60 00:02:19,728 --> 00:02:21,363 LET WHO DRIVE THE WHAT? WHAT? 61 00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:25,334 WHOA! WHO ORDERED HOTTIE 62 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,968 WITH EXTRA SEXY? (CHUCKLES) 63 00:02:27,035 --> 00:02:28,136 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 64 00:02:29,404 --> 00:02:31,406 I JUST MADE ANOTHER MILLION... 65 00:02:31,473 --> 00:02:34,175 OR MY MOM IS TEXTING ME AGAIN. 66 00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:36,945 WELL, 67 00:02:37,011 --> 00:02:38,980 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, DADDY. 68 00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:43,485 I'M STILL DRIVING THE BUS. 69 00:02:43,552 --> 00:02:46,187 CRYSTAL, I GOT YOUR URGENT TEXT. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 70 00:02:46,255 --> 00:02:48,290 LOOK AT MY FACE, BENJAMIN. OKAY. 71 00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:50,392 CAN YOU TELL MY EXPRESSION IS ODDLY PENSIVE? 72 00:02:50,892 --> 00:02:52,527 SURE. 73 00:02:52,594 --> 00:02:54,563 WE'RE GONNA NEED TO PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER. OH, I CAN'T. I CAN'T. 74 00:02:54,629 --> 00:02:56,164 I'M HAVING MEANINGLESS SEX WITH A QUARTERBACK TONIGHT. 75 00:02:56,231 --> 00:02:58,166 I'VE GOTTA PREPARE. I'VE GOTTA GET SOME TAPE 76 00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,902 AND... BASICALLY, I JUST HAVE TO GET SOME TAPE. 77 00:03:00,969 --> 00:03:02,937 WELL, I'M VERY SORRY, BUT I'M BEING AUDITED, 78 00:03:03,004 --> 00:03:05,106 AND I'M TOLD THAT'S VERY SERIOUS. 79 00:03:05,173 --> 00:03:07,509 I INNOCENTLY MIXED SOME OF MY PERSONAL EXPENSES 80 00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:09,578 WITH THE ARENA'S EXPENSES. I COULD LOSE EVERYTHING. 81 00:03:10,745 --> 00:03:11,913 I'LL ORDER PIES. 82 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:14,115 I DON'T WANT PIES. YOU HAVE TO HELP, BENJAMIN. 83 00:03:14,182 --> 00:03:16,117 YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH THAT MAN SOME OTHER TIME. 84 00:03:16,184 --> 00:03:17,952 IT'S A WOMAN. IT'S A WOMAN QUATERBACK. 85 00:03:18,019 --> 00:03:19,921 DON'T WE HAVE A TON OF ACCOUNTANTS? 86 00:03:19,988 --> 00:03:21,923 WHO ARE ALL THOSE BALD PEOPLE UPSTAIRS WHO NEVER SAY HELLO? 87 00:03:21,990 --> 00:03:23,592 OUR HAIRLESS ACCOUNTANTS ARE EXCELLENT. 88 00:03:23,658 --> 00:03:25,727 THE PROBLEM IS, THEY HAVE A VERY STRICT LEGAL SENSE OF THE LAW. 89 00:03:25,794 --> 00:03:27,329 WE JUST HAVE TO GO THROUGH THESE STATEMENTS. 90 00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:29,163 WELL, I CAN'T. I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO IT. 91 00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:31,933 I THINK IT'S SO FUNNY THAT YOU THINK THIS IS A REQUEST. 92 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,802 YOU'RE LIKE A CUTE LITTLE BUTTON. 93 00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:36,905 (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) A BUTTON ON TOP OF A BUNCH OF OTHER LITTLE BUTTONS. 94 00:03:36,971 --> 00:03:37,972 (NORMAL VOICE) SIT DOWN! 95 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,709 (CROWD CHEERING) 96 00:03:42,444 --> 00:03:44,045 COMMENTOR: TOUCHDOWN SEATTLE, 97 00:03:44,112 --> 00:03:45,647 AND JESSIE CARVER CELEBRATES WITH 98 00:03:45,714 --> 00:03:47,949 HER SIGNATURE AND ZONE POLE DANCE. 99 00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:49,351 HA! 100 00:03:50,352 --> 00:03:51,353 OHH. 101 00:03:53,688 --> 00:03:57,692 CHORUS: * MR. SUNSHINE, YAY! 102 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,963 HERE'S A BIG-TICKET ITEM THAT HAS ME A LITTLE CONFUSED. 103 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:04,633 IN 1997, YOU PURCHASED ECUADOR? 104 00:04:04,699 --> 00:04:06,200 IT'S A LONG STORY. 105 00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:09,338 I BRIEFLY DATED A MAN NAMED MARCOS. PUT IT UNDER "TRAVEL." 106 00:04:09,404 --> 00:04:11,540 BENJAMIN, ARE YOU COMFORTABLE HERE? 107 00:04:11,606 --> 00:04:13,642 I THINK YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT. 108 00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:16,077 YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S MOVE INTO MY SECRET BACK OFFICE. 109 00:04:16,144 --> 00:04:17,712 OH, GOD. NO. 110 00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,180 YOU KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE IT. 111 00:04:19,247 --> 00:04:20,882 NO, I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU I NEVER WANTED TO SEE IT. 112 00:04:20,949 --> 00:04:22,584 I DON'T WANT THE STAFF TO KNOW WE'RE IN JEOPARDY. 113 00:04:22,651 --> 00:04:23,752 WE NEED TO PROTECT THEM. 114 00:04:23,818 --> 00:04:25,186 I'M STAFF. PROTECT ME. 115 00:04:25,253 --> 00:04:28,022 COME, BENJAMIN. ENTER MY SPECIAL WORLD. 116 00:04:28,089 --> 00:04:29,290 DOES THAT OPEN THE DOOR? 117 00:04:29,824 --> 00:04:30,825 NO. 118 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,369 I'M SORRY. THIS IS JUST SO MUCH TO BE FRIGHTENED 119 00:04:40,435 --> 00:04:42,303 OF ALL AT THE SAME TIME. 120 00:04:42,371 --> 00:04:45,073 THIS IS GOOD. WE'LL GET MORE WORK DONE HERE. 121 00:04:45,139 --> 00:04:47,942 BENJAMIN, HAVE YOU EVER LOVED AND LOST? 122 00:04:48,009 --> 00:04:49,911 IS THAT THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM? 123 00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:52,113 I COME BACK HERE TO MEDITATE, 124 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:53,281 GET AT PEACE WITH MYSELF. 125 00:04:55,116 --> 00:04:58,353 I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU BESIDES THE AUDIT. 126 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:01,490 NO, JUST THE AUDIT. YOU KNOW, TAX FORMS, ACQUISITION INDEBTEDNESS, 127 00:05:01,556 --> 00:05:03,157 CAPITAL EXPENDITURE. 128 00:05:03,224 --> 00:05:04,959 AM I GONNA DIE ALONE? I DON'T KNOW. 129 00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:07,295 WHAT'S THE LONGEST AMOUNT OF TIME I COULD LEAVE FOR? 130 00:05:07,362 --> 00:05:08,597 TEN MINUTES. I'LL SEE YOU IN TEN MINUTES. 131 00:05:08,663 --> 00:05:09,798 GREAT. I'LL PUT ON A POT OF RUM. 132 00:05:13,602 --> 00:05:15,303 WHAT'S UP? 133 00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:18,540 I'M WRITING TO FRANKLIN, MY PEN PAL IN SAN QUENTIN. 134 00:05:18,607 --> 00:05:20,108 HE SHOT A YOUNG NURSE. 135 00:05:20,174 --> 00:05:22,611 MM. IS THAT ONE OF ALONZO'S CHARITY THINGS? 136 00:05:22,677 --> 00:05:24,145 NOPE. JUST FOR FUN. 137 00:05:24,212 --> 00:05:25,880 I LOOK FOR CONVICTS IN THE METRO SECTION 138 00:05:25,947 --> 00:05:27,882 AND WRITE TO THE ONES WITH THE SWEETEST EYES. 139 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:30,919 OR EYE. 140 00:05:30,985 --> 00:05:31,986 BEN: ROMAN, I NEED YOU. 141 00:05:33,054 --> 00:05:34,456 OH! SAY HI TO FRANKLIN FOR ME. 142 00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:38,760 OKAY, I'M STUCK WITH YOUR MOM, 143 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:40,228 BUT I'M GONNA FIGURE OUT A WAY TO ESCAPE. 144 00:05:40,294 --> 00:05:42,464 NOW IF JESSIE SHOWS UP HERE BEFORE I DO, 145 00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:43,798 JUST KEEP HER HERE. 146 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,066 WILL SHE EXPECT SEX FROM ME? 147 00:05:45,133 --> 00:05:47,068 NO, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT... 148 00:05:47,135 --> 00:05:48,470 DO NOT EXPECT SEX FROM HER. 149 00:05:48,537 --> 00:05:49,538 GOT IT. NO SEX. 150 00:05:49,604 --> 00:05:51,072 JUST ENTERTAIN HER SOMEHOW. 151 00:05:51,139 --> 00:05:53,241 OH, MAYBE MAGIC TRICKS OR IMPRESSIONS? 152 00:05:53,307 --> 00:05:54,776 YOU DO ANY MAGIC TRICKS? NO. 153 00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:55,844 DO YOU KNOW ANY IMPRESSIONS? NO. 154 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:57,111 JUST KEEP HER HERE. NO. 155 00:05:57,178 --> 00:05:58,179 YES. 156 00:05:58,246 --> 00:05:59,347 (PLAYING PIANO) 157 00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:04,018 IT SAYS HERE UNDER "ENTERTAINMENT EXPENSES" 158 00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:05,454 THAT YOU BOUGHT A CHEETAH. 159 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,089 YES. IT WAS FUN AT FIRST. 160 00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:09,157 NOW I NEVER USE IT. 161 00:06:12,093 --> 00:06:13,695 I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, BEN. 162 00:06:13,762 --> 00:06:15,329 THIS IS HELPING. 163 00:06:15,396 --> 00:06:17,499 LET'S PLAY ALL THE OLD SONGS. 164 00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:19,300 (PLAYING PIANO) 165 00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:20,735 ALL OF THEM? 166 00:06:20,802 --> 00:06:22,871 (CROWD CHEERING) 167 00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,607 IS THIS GREAT, FELLAS, OR WHAT? 168 00:06:25,674 --> 00:06:27,509 THERE'S A LOT OF PRETTY GIRLS OUT THERE. 169 00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:30,344 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHERE THERE AREN'T A LOT OF PRETTY GIRLS? 170 00:06:30,411 --> 00:06:31,412 IN HERE. 171 00:06:32,614 --> 00:06:33,782 I'M BORED. 172 00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:36,150 THEY TOLD US WE'D BE HANGING OUT WITH AN NBA STAR. 173 00:06:36,217 --> 00:06:38,219 THAT'S ME. I PLAYED IN THE NBA. 174 00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:40,722 YEAH, I THINK IT WAS THE "STAR" PART WE WERE QUESTIONING. 175 00:06:40,789 --> 00:06:42,123 WELL, I HAD A COUPLE GOOD YEARS. 176 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,992 YOU HAVE A RALPHS CLUB CARD ON YOUR KEY CHAIN. 177 00:06:44,058 --> 00:06:45,527 HEY, I PLAYED WITH CHARLES BARKLEY. 178 00:06:45,594 --> 00:06:47,328 THE FAT GUY FROM THE PHONE COMMERCIALS? 179 00:06:47,395 --> 00:06:49,097 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, THANKS. 180 00:06:49,163 --> 00:06:50,899 THIS HAS BEEN A BLAST ADOLPHO... 181 00:06:50,965 --> 00:06:52,634 ALONZO. FUN LITTLE ROOM, 182 00:06:52,701 --> 00:06:55,036 BUT WE'RE GONNA JET UP TO L.A. AND SEE WHAT ASHTON KUTCHER'S UP TO. 183 00:06:55,103 --> 00:06:56,505 HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? 184 00:06:56,571 --> 00:06:59,173 ALONZO HAS SOME PEOPLE THAT REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU. 185 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,076 WE'RE DONE WITH OUR SERIES "A" INVESTMENT. HAVE HIM CALL OUR C.F.O. 186 00:07:02,143 --> 00:07:06,280 ALL RIGHT, BUT JADE AND BRANDI ARE GONNA BE REALLY DISAPPOINTED. 187 00:07:06,347 --> 00:07:07,348 SORRY, GIRLS. 188 00:07:08,082 --> 00:07:09,083 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 189 00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:10,785 MAMA'S DRIVING THE BUS. 190 00:07:10,852 --> 00:07:12,721 KUTCHER IS KIND OF A TOOL, RIGHT? 191 00:07:15,857 --> 00:07:17,926 WANNA SEE HOW LONG I CAN HOLD MY BREATH? OH, I'M GOOD. 192 00:07:17,992 --> 00:07:19,494 (INHALING) 193 00:07:19,561 --> 00:07:20,895 (BLOWING HEAVILY) THAT'S IT. 194 00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:23,498 WHEN'S BEN GETTING HERE? 195 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,469 THIS PIE IS NOT MAKING ME FEEL BETTER. 196 00:07:28,537 --> 00:07:31,305 WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EATEN THE LAST THREE WITH A SHOEHORN. 197 00:07:31,372 --> 00:07:33,207 I THOUGHT I'D FIND A PRIZE INSIDE. 198 00:07:33,274 --> 00:07:35,009 YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE PRIZES IN PIES? 199 00:07:35,076 --> 00:07:36,377 THAT'S NOT A THING, CRYSTAL. 200 00:07:36,444 --> 00:07:37,445 WELL, IT SHOULD BE. 201 00:07:37,512 --> 00:07:39,013 NOW THERE'S A MONEYMAKER. 202 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,415 SPEAKING OF MONEY, I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH THESE STATEMENTS 203 00:07:41,482 --> 00:07:43,718 AND I'VE NOTICED SOME OF THE MORE QUESTIONABLE ITEMS, 204 00:07:43,785 --> 00:07:45,286 THE CHEETAH, THE STUNT PLANE, 205 00:07:45,353 --> 00:07:46,821 ROSS PEROT'S CORD BLOOD... 206 00:07:46,888 --> 00:07:48,623 GOOD-BYE, LUPUS. YES. 207 00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:50,992 MY POINT IS THAT I'M NOTICING A PATTERN. 208 00:07:51,059 --> 00:07:54,028 ALL THE MORE EXPENSIVE ITEMS WERE ALL BOUGHT ON THE SAME DATE. 209 00:07:54,095 --> 00:07:55,096 TODAY'S DATE. 210 00:07:55,163 --> 00:07:57,231 THAT'S NOT A PATTERN. 211 00:07:57,298 --> 00:07:58,399 THAT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS YEAR AFTER YEAR ON THE SAME DATE. 212 00:07:58,466 --> 00:08:00,334 TODAY YOU BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE. 213 00:08:00,401 --> 00:08:03,137 WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT IS THE THING ABOUT TONIGHT? 214 00:08:03,204 --> 00:08:04,205 I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT. 215 00:08:04,272 --> 00:08:05,840 YOU DO IF YOU WANT ME TO STAY HERE. 216 00:08:05,907 --> 00:08:07,008 LET'S PLAY THE OLD SONGS. 217 00:08:07,075 --> 00:08:08,476 OKAY, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 218 00:08:08,543 --> 00:08:10,111 I HAVE A DATE WITH A STAR QUARTERBACK, 219 00:08:10,178 --> 00:08:11,445 WHO, I'LL REMIND YOU, IS A WOMAN. 220 00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:12,513 THERE'S NO AUDIT. 221 00:08:14,348 --> 00:08:17,418 I BUY THESE THINGS TO DISTRACT MYSELF, BUT IT NEVER WORKS. 222 00:08:18,419 --> 00:08:20,421 TODAY'S MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 223 00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:22,123 WHICH ONE? YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED SIX TIMES. 224 00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:25,059 ONLY FIVE OF THEM WERE CONSUMMATED SEXUALLY, IF YOU NEED TO KNOW. 225 00:08:25,126 --> 00:08:26,728 I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALMOST ALL OF THIS. 226 00:08:26,795 --> 00:08:28,529 I'M TALKING ABOUT MY THIRD HUSBAND, 227 00:08:29,497 --> 00:08:31,299 BILLY. 228 00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:34,535 WE WERE SO HAPPY TOGETHER, AND THEN ONE DAY I TURNED AROUND, AND HE WAS GONE. 229 00:08:34,603 --> 00:08:37,639 IT ENDED SO SUDDENLY. I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. 230 00:08:37,706 --> 00:08:39,207 NOW I GUESS I NEVER WILL. 231 00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:41,409 IS HE DEAD? 232 00:08:41,475 --> 00:08:42,577 IN A WAY. 233 00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:44,746 HE LIVES IN OCEANSIDE. 234 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:47,115 I HEAR HE HANGS OUT IN A BAR NOT TOO FAR FROM HERE. 235 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,050 OUR BAR. 236 00:08:49,117 --> 00:08:51,720 GREAT FRIES. THEY'RE FRENCH. 237 00:08:51,786 --> 00:08:53,988 I'VE TRIED TO STOP BY THERE MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS, 238 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,090 BUT I NEVER GOT UP THE NERVE. 239 00:08:56,157 --> 00:08:58,192 PLEASE STAY WITH ME, BENJAMIN. 240 00:08:58,259 --> 00:08:59,761 I... I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. 241 00:08:59,828 --> 00:09:02,063 I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY ELSE. 242 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:03,131 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 243 00:09:04,498 --> 00:09:06,968 OHH. THE QUARTERBACK SENT ME A PICTURE. 244 00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:08,703 SHE'S SO... SMART. 245 00:09:10,605 --> 00:09:11,606 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 246 00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:17,646 JESSIE, I AM SO SORRY. MY BOSS THREW SOME LAST-MINUTE STUFF AT ME. 247 00:09:17,712 --> 00:09:19,247 JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE HOUR, AND I PROMISE, 248 00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:21,382 I WILL MAKE THIS A NIGHT YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER. 249 00:09:21,449 --> 00:09:23,718 IF THE SEX DOESN'T DO IT, WE CAN STEAL A CAR 250 00:09:23,785 --> 00:09:26,755 OR BLOW SOMETHING UP, BUT WE WILL REMEMBER THIS NIGHT. 251 00:09:26,821 --> 00:09:28,823 YOU'VE GOT ONE HOUR, BEN DONOVAN, AND THEN I'M OUTTA HERE. 252 00:09:29,624 --> 00:09:30,625 OH, AND, BEN... 253 00:09:31,993 --> 00:09:32,994 (WHISPERING) 254 00:09:34,796 --> 00:09:36,765 WOW. IN MINE OR IN YOURS? 255 00:09:36,831 --> 00:09:38,767 YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T ANSWER THAT. LET'S KEEP THIS ROMANTIC. 256 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:40,434 (LAUGHS) 257 00:09:45,439 --> 00:09:46,908 YOU HAVE TO KEEP HER HERE. 258 00:09:46,975 --> 00:09:49,510 YEAH. HEY, I REALIZED I DO A PRETTY GOOD ROBERT DE NIRO. 259 00:09:53,147 --> 00:09:54,448 I'LL JUST KEEP HER HERE. YEAH. 260 00:09:56,184 --> 00:09:57,551 (SIGHS) 261 00:09:57,618 --> 00:10:00,021 OKAY, WE'RE GOING TO THE BAR WHERE BILLY HANGS OUT. 262 00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:01,589 NO, BENJAMIN! I CAN'T DO THAT. 263 00:10:01,656 --> 00:10:04,458 YES, YOU CAN. YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT HIM AND GET ANSWERS 264 00:10:04,525 --> 00:10:06,961 TO ALL THE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS THAT YOU TWO HAVE TOGETHER. 265 00:10:07,028 --> 00:10:09,664 THAT WAY, YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT LIKE THIS AGAIN. 266 00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:11,599 AND CONSEQUENTLY, NEITHER WILL I. 267 00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:14,602 AND WE HAVE TO GET ALL OF THAT DONE IN 54 MINUTES. 268 00:10:14,669 --> 00:10:17,505 BENJAMIN, YOU'RE RIGHT. I NEED CLOSURE. 269 00:10:17,571 --> 00:10:20,408 I HAVE TO HAVE CLOSURE. LET'S GO. 270 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:22,143 WE'LL TAKE MY CAR. I'LL DRIVE. 271 00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,779 OH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. YOU SEEM EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. 272 00:10:24,846 --> 00:10:26,647 YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S TAKE MY HOG. 273 00:10:26,715 --> 00:10:28,683 YOU JUST SLAPPED ME. YOU JUST SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. 274 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,188 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 275 00:10:34,255 --> 00:10:35,990 EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. 276 00:10:43,564 --> 00:10:46,300 ALL RIGHT. BLUE 42, HUT. HUT. HIKE! 277 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,007 LINGERIE FOOTBALL IS NOT THE SAME. 278 00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:56,077 SINCE THE LEAGUE EXPANDED, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO TO ROOT FOR ANYMORE. 279 00:10:56,144 --> 00:10:57,979 YEAH, I GUESS WE'VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS. 280 00:10:58,046 --> 00:11:00,448 I DON'T THINK I COULD NAME HALF THE LINEUP FOR THE MIAMI CALIENTE. 281 00:11:00,514 --> 00:11:02,250 I DON'T WANT TO BE TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE. 282 00:11:02,817 --> 00:11:04,085 YEAH, OKAY. 283 00:11:04,152 --> 00:11:06,354 Y-YOU KNOW, GUYS, UH, IF WE DON'T GET THAT FUNDING, 284 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,688 THEN WE WON'T BE ABLE TO BUILD THE CENTER. 285 00:11:07,756 --> 00:11:09,858 OKAY, FIRST DOWN! HUDDLE UP! HUDDLE UP! 286 00:11:09,924 --> 00:11:11,225 AND IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE CENTER, 287 00:11:11,292 --> 00:11:14,462 THE CHILDREN WILL HAVE NOWHERE TO GO AFTER SCHOOL. 288 00:11:14,528 --> 00:11:16,064 THEIR MOTHERS WILL LOSE THEIR JOBS. 289 00:11:16,130 --> 00:11:18,532 OME OF THOSE KIDS WILL JOIN GANGS AND CARJACK YOU. 290 00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:20,134 (BLOWS WHISTLE) TIME-OUT! 291 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:23,204 WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE IT EASY? 292 00:11:23,271 --> 00:11:24,973 YOU MADE POOR JADE CRY. 293 00:11:25,039 --> 00:11:26,507 OH, I'M THE JERK? 294 00:11:26,574 --> 00:11:29,677 THOSE GUYS ALREADY MADE AN iPhone APP ABOUT ME CALLED "ALONZO SUCKS." 295 00:11:29,744 --> 00:11:30,879 IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA FUN. 296 00:11:31,579 --> 00:11:33,014 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 297 00:11:33,081 --> 00:11:34,582 I COULD'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND DONE BODY SHOTS WITH 'EM. 298 00:11:34,648 --> 00:11:36,050 WILL YOU CHILL OUT? HAVE A DRINK. 299 00:11:38,686 --> 00:11:41,555 * WELCOME TO WHEREVER YOU ARE * 300 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:43,191 THAT'S APPLE JUICE. 301 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,496 IT'S ONLY APPLE JUICE. OH, NOW YOU WANT TO TALK? 302 00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:52,867 THERE HE IS. 303 00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:55,970 THE... THE GUY WITH THE GUITAR? 304 00:11:56,037 --> 00:11:57,605 OH, WE HAD A GREAT BAND TOGETHER. 305 00:11:58,807 --> 00:12:00,408 WAIT. YOU WERE IN A BAND? 306 00:12:00,474 --> 00:12:02,676 WE WERE LIKE IKE AND TINA TURNER, BUT WITHOUT THE EDGE 307 00:12:02,743 --> 00:12:03,878 AND WITH NONE OF THE HITTING. 308 00:12:03,945 --> 00:12:04,979 I SEE. 309 00:12:05,046 --> 00:12:07,581 OH. BILLY, CRYSTAL AND FRIENDS. 310 00:12:07,648 --> 00:12:10,118 THAT WELL-PLACED COMMA SAVED US A LOT OF LAWSUITS. (APPLAUDING) 311 00:12:10,184 --> 00:12:12,120 OH, LOOK, HE'S TAKING A BREAK. YOU CAN DO THIS. 312 00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:19,227 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I HAVE A LIFE, TOO. 313 00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:21,595 I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO BILLY. WELL, I COULDN'T DO IT. 314 00:12:21,662 --> 00:12:24,032 WELL, YOU HAVE TO DO IT. YOU HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT NOW. 315 00:12:24,098 --> 00:12:26,534 YOU HAVE TO CONFRONT HIM FOR LEAVING YOU. 316 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,070 LEAVING ME? BILLY DIDN'T LEAVE ME. I LEFT HIM. 317 00:12:29,137 --> 00:12:31,239 YOU SAID, YOU TURNED AROUND, AND HE WAS GONE. 318 00:12:31,305 --> 00:12:33,141 NO, I LEFT THE BAR WITH ANOTHER MAN ONE NIGHT, 319 00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:35,109 AND BILLY CHASED AFTER OUR CAR FOR A FEW BLOCKS, 320 00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:38,079 BUT EVENTUALLY, I TURNED AROUND, AND HE WAS GONE. 321 00:12:38,146 --> 00:12:39,948 I'VE MENTIONED TO YOU THAT I COULD BE SLEEPING WITH 322 00:12:40,014 --> 00:12:41,749 A LINGERIE FOOTBALL PLAYER RIGHT NOW, RIGHT? 323 00:12:41,816 --> 00:12:43,417 IT WAS THE CLASSIC STORY. 324 00:12:43,484 --> 00:12:46,054 OUR CAREER WAS JUST TAKING OFF, WHEN ONE NIGHT, 325 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,891 MAURICE COHEN, OWNER OF THE SUNSHINE CENTER, WALKED IN. 326 00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:53,727 SURE, HE WAS FAT AND OLD, AND, OKAY, HE COULDN'T REALLY WALK, PER SE, 327 00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:54,996 BUT HE TIPPED ME, 1000 BUCKS, 328 00:12:55,063 --> 00:12:56,464 AND I JUMPED IN THE BACK OF HIS TOWN CAR, 329 00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,599 TOOK A HIT OFF HIS OXYGEN TANK, AND NEVER LOOKED BACK. 330 00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:00,601 CUTE MEET. 331 00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:03,137 MY INSATIABLE NEED FOR WEALTH AND SUCCESS 332 00:13:03,204 --> 00:13:07,375 MADE ME WALK AWAY FROM THE ONE TRUE LOVE OF MY LIFE. 333 00:13:08,509 --> 00:13:11,345 THAT'S WHY THIS NIGHT IS SO HARD FOR ME. 334 00:13:11,412 --> 00:13:14,048 THAT'S WHY I HAVE THIS WEIRD FEELING. 335 00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:15,549 WHAT WEIRD FEELING? 336 00:13:15,616 --> 00:13:18,319 I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'S A NAME FOR IT. 337 00:13:18,386 --> 00:13:20,254 YOU KNOW THAT CRAZY FEELING SOME PEOPLE GET 338 00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:22,690 WHEN THEY DON'T APPROVE OF THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR? 339 00:13:22,756 --> 00:13:24,525 SHAME? YES. THAT'S IT. 340 00:13:24,592 --> 00:13:26,227 "SHAME," AS YOU CALL IT. 341 00:13:26,294 --> 00:13:28,429 WELL, I HAVE TO SAY, I'VE NEVER SEEN CRYSTAL COHEN ASHAMED BEFORE, 342 00:13:28,496 --> 00:13:29,964 AND I ONCE SAW YOU SHOOT A DOLPHIN. 343 00:13:30,031 --> 00:13:31,465 I WAS DEFENDING MY YACHT. 344 00:13:31,532 --> 00:13:33,034 WHAT, I'M SUPPOSED TO GIVE THE ANIMAL A PASS 345 00:13:33,101 --> 00:13:35,970 BECAUSE HE'S BELOVED BY LITTLE CHILDREN AND FAT SECRETARIES? 346 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,841 LOOK AT HIM, 347 00:13:40,909 --> 00:13:43,644 STILL SINGING IN THE SAME OLD DIVE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. 348 00:13:44,112 --> 00:13:45,213 IT'S SO SAD. 349 00:13:45,947 --> 00:13:46,981 (CELL PHONE CHIMES) 350 00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:50,651 OH, MY GOD, JESSIE. 351 00:13:50,718 --> 00:13:53,521 OH, JUST GO BACK TO YOUR STRUMPET. I'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 352 00:13:56,925 --> 00:13:58,326 DAMN IT, CRYSTAL! I'M STAYING WITH YOU! 353 00:13:58,392 --> 00:13:59,427 WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL AT ME. 354 00:13:59,493 --> 00:14:01,095 YES, I DO! BEN, GO! 355 00:14:01,162 --> 00:14:02,463 THIS ISN'T YOUR JOB! 356 00:14:02,530 --> 00:14:03,831 I'M NOT STAYING AS YOUR EMPLOYEE! 357 00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,299 I'M STAYING AS YOUR FRIEND! 358 00:14:06,867 --> 00:14:08,102 THANK YOU, BENJAMIN. 359 00:14:08,169 --> 00:14:10,338 WELL, YOU'RE VERY WELCOME! IT'S REALLY MY PLEASURE! 360 00:14:12,673 --> 00:14:14,808 OKAY. I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME. 361 00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:16,644 PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE. 362 00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,047 THERE'S REALLY NO OTHER PLACE TO GO. 363 00:14:19,113 --> 00:14:22,250 TALENT'S NOT ALLOWED IN THE EXECUTIVE OFFICES. 364 00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:23,952 I WAS INVITED, SWEETIE. 365 00:14:24,018 --> 00:14:27,088 OH. WELL, IN THAT CASE, I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE. 366 00:14:28,656 --> 00:14:31,225 I HEARD FROM FRANKLIN. HE SENT ME A REALLY SWEET LETTER 367 00:14:31,292 --> 00:14:32,760 AND THE TIP OF HIS CELL MATE'S FINGER. 368 00:14:34,462 --> 00:14:35,696 NO REASON. JUST 'CAUSE. 369 00:14:43,804 --> 00:14:46,274 SOMEONE'S GOT A CRUSH ON SOMEONE. 370 00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:49,843 I KNOW, AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THAT? 371 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:52,146 I CAN'T CUT OFF A MAN'S FINGER. 372 00:14:52,213 --> 00:14:53,714 FRANKLIN IS TOO ROMANTIC. 373 00:14:53,781 --> 00:14:56,317 NOT FRANKLIN. SHE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU. 374 00:14:56,384 --> 00:14:58,252 OH, NO. 375 00:14:58,319 --> 00:15:00,554 DID YOU SEE HER? SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WANTED TO KILL ME. 376 00:15:00,621 --> 00:15:01,889 YEAH, SHE LOOKS AT EVERYONE THAT WAY. 377 00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,192 BELIEVE ME, SHE DIGS YOU. 378 00:15:04,258 --> 00:15:06,094 YOU COULD TOTALLY HAVE HER. 379 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,595 REALLY? YEAH. 380 00:15:07,661 --> 00:15:09,497 I'D LOVE TO GET HER. 381 00:15:09,563 --> 00:15:11,365 I JUST... I DON'T KNOW HOW. 382 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:14,802 EASY. FLASH A WAD OF CASH, FILL HER UP WITH SOME MALIBU RUM, 383 00:15:14,868 --> 00:15:17,838 TELL HER YOU'RE ALREADY DATING SOMEBODY, AND THEN BOOM! 384 00:15:17,905 --> 00:15:20,241 OH. I DIDN'T MEAN "GET HER" LIKE THAT. 385 00:15:20,308 --> 00:15:23,777 JEEZ. I MEANT, UH, GET HER TO HAVE LUNCH WITH ME, 386 00:15:23,844 --> 00:15:27,181 GET HER TO RELY ON ME TO BE THERE FOR HER. 387 00:15:27,248 --> 00:15:29,517 UH, TO GET HER TO DO ANYMORE WITHOUT THAT, 388 00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:30,618 IT JUST SEEMS KINDA EMPTY. 389 00:15:32,186 --> 00:15:33,654 I MEAN, DON'T YA THINK? 390 00:15:33,721 --> 00:15:35,489 YOU SHOULD TELL HER THAT. 391 00:15:35,556 --> 00:15:37,058 OHH. I DON'T HAVE THE NERVE. 392 00:15:37,758 --> 00:15:38,759 TURN AROUND. 393 00:15:42,196 --> 00:15:43,564 (SIGHS) OH, ROMAN. 394 00:15:44,498 --> 00:15:45,499 HEATHER. 395 00:15:46,734 --> 00:15:50,071 OHH. I HAVE MADE SO MANY BAD CHOICES IN MY LIFE. 396 00:15:53,841 --> 00:15:56,377 OKAY, OKAY. WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND? 397 00:15:56,444 --> 00:15:57,578 I GOT IT. 398 00:15:57,645 --> 00:15:58,979 WHOA. 399 00:15:59,047 --> 00:16:00,414 YOUNGER BROTHER'S BUYING, HUH? 400 00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,850 THAT'S NOT HOW IT USUALLY WORKS IN MY FAMILY. 401 00:16:02,916 --> 00:16:05,386 HEY, ALONZO, YOU SHOULD WORK ON JIMMY FOR THE NEW CENTER. 402 00:16:05,453 --> 00:16:07,755 HE'S THE ONE WITH THE... MONEY! 403 00:16:07,821 --> 00:16:09,390 UH, I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN HE DOES. 404 00:16:09,457 --> 00:16:11,859 OH, YEAH? WELL, HOW MUCH ARE YOU DONATING TO THE CENTER? 405 00:16:13,127 --> 00:16:15,096 100,000. WOW. 406 00:16:15,163 --> 00:16:18,399 JIMMY, YOU GONNA PUT UP WITH YOUR OLDER BROTHER SHOWBOATING LIKE THAT? 407 00:16:18,466 --> 00:16:20,368 PFFT. TYPICAL OLDER BROTHER CRAP, RIGHT? 408 00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:23,171 HE'S THE BIG MAN, THE ONE IN CHARGE. 200,000! 409 00:16:23,671 --> 00:16:24,872 500,000! 410 00:16:24,938 --> 00:16:25,939 750,000. 411 00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:27,041 800,000! 412 00:16:27,108 --> 00:16:28,209 900,000. 413 00:16:28,276 --> 00:16:30,378 HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU? A MILLION. 414 00:16:30,444 --> 00:16:31,879 YEAH, BUT IT'S NICE TO HEAR. 415 00:16:31,945 --> 00:16:33,647 1.3 MILLION! 1.5 MILLION! 416 00:16:33,714 --> 00:16:35,383 ALL RIGHT! BOYS, BOYS, BOYS. THAT'S ENOUGH. 417 00:16:35,449 --> 00:16:37,418 LET'S PUT A STOP TO THIS RIGHT NOW. 418 00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:38,719 JIMMY WINS. 419 00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:40,788 WHAT? NO. 2 MILLION DOLLARS! 420 00:16:40,854 --> 00:16:41,855 HIKE ME THE NUTS! 421 00:16:46,927 --> 00:16:49,297 I RUINED HIS LIFE. WHAT CAN I SAY TO HIM? 422 00:16:49,363 --> 00:16:51,899 WELL, JUST TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY. TELL HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO YOU. 423 00:16:51,965 --> 00:16:53,634 OH, IT'S TOO COMPLICATED. 424 00:16:55,603 --> 00:16:57,205 MAYBE I CAN HELP. 425 00:16:57,271 --> 00:16:59,207 NO. OH! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. BENJAMIN! 426 00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:03,311 HI. HI. DO YOU... 427 00:17:03,377 --> 00:17:05,012 DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS? 428 00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:08,249 NO, BUT I HAVE ONE. UH, COULD YOU TAKE YOUR MONEY OUT OF MY DRINK? 429 00:17:19,727 --> 00:17:21,562 NO, NO, NO, NO! OKAY. COME ON. 430 00:17:21,629 --> 00:17:23,864 HERE WE GO. YOU CAN DO THIS. NO! BENJAMIN! I CAN'T! 431 00:17:23,931 --> 00:17:25,333 YES, YOU CAN. NO, I CAN'T! 432 00:17:25,399 --> 00:17:26,667 COME ON. GET ON STAGE. GO, GO. 433 00:17:26,734 --> 00:17:29,803 I... I... I... I... 434 00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:34,808 * I'VE BEEN SO MANY PLACES 435 00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:38,379 * IN MY LIFE AND TIME 436 00:17:42,883 --> 00:17:44,885 * SUNG A LOT OF SONGS 437 00:17:44,952 --> 00:17:47,721 * I'VE MADE SOME BAD RHYMES 438 00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:53,694 * I'VE ACTED OUT MY LIFE ON STAGES 439 00:17:53,761 --> 00:17:58,566 * WITH 10,000, PEOPLE WATCHING 440 00:17:58,632 --> 00:18:01,068 * BUT WE'RE ALONE NOW 441 00:18:01,135 --> 00:18:05,173 * AND I'M JUST SINGING THIS SONG FOR YOU 442 00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:09,610 * I KNOW YOUR IMAGE OF ME 443 00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:12,846 * IS ALL I HOPE TO BE 444 00:18:15,115 --> 00:18:22,356 * I TREATED YOU UNKINDLY BUT, BILLY, CAN'T YOU SEE 445 00:18:22,423 --> 00:18:26,460 * THERE'S NO ONE MORE IMPORTANT TO ME? 446 00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:29,497 * DARLIN', CAN'T YOU PLEASE SEE THROUGH ME? 447 00:18:29,563 --> 00:18:31,565 * WE WERE ALONE AND... 448 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,866 * WE WERE ALONE 449 00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:37,438 * AND I WAS SINGING THIS SONG FOR YOU 450 00:18:37,505 --> 00:18:39,607 THAT'S MY BOSS. SHH. 451 00:18:39,673 --> 00:18:41,475 * I LOVE YOU IN A PLACE 452 00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:45,579 * WHERE THERE'S NO SPACE OR TIME 453 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:50,784 * I LOVE YOU FOR MY LIFE 454 00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:53,621 * YOU ARE A FRIEND OF MINE 455 00:18:55,189 --> 00:18:58,626 * AND WHEN MY LIFE IS OVER 456 00:18:58,692 --> 00:19:02,029 * REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER 457 00:19:02,095 --> 00:19:05,366 * WE WERE ALONE WE WERE ALONE 458 00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:10,003 * AND I WAS SINGING THIS SONG FOR YOU 459 00:19:10,070 --> 00:19:12,139 * WE WERE ALL ALONE 460 00:19:12,206 --> 00:19:15,209 * WE WERE ALONE AND I WAS SINGING 461 00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:21,615 * THIS SONG FOR YOU 462 00:19:22,350 --> 00:19:25,353 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 463 00:19:31,325 --> 00:19:33,060 CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? 464 00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:34,295 I'VE BEEN FINE SINCE YOU LEFT. 465 00:19:35,028 --> 00:19:36,664 OH, YOU'RE SO BRAVE. 466 00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,933 NO, SERIOUSLY. I GOT SOME OF MY BEST SONGS OUT OF THAT HEARTBREAK. 467 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,103 SO YOU'RE DOING WELL? SPECTACULAR. 468 00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:44,738 I OWN THIS PLACE NOW. WOW. 469 00:19:45,639 --> 00:19:47,575 THAT'S GREAT. 470 00:19:47,641 --> 00:19:50,911 YEP. IT'S GREAT. LOSING YOU WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. 471 00:19:50,978 --> 00:19:53,213 I'M JUST SAYING, I'M HAPPY NOW, CRYSTAL. 472 00:19:53,281 --> 00:19:54,815 UH-HUH. I'M REALLY, REALLY HAPPY. 473 00:19:54,882 --> 00:19:56,417 YEAH, I UNDERSTAND. 474 00:19:56,484 --> 00:19:58,686 I HAVEN'T HAD A LONELY NIGHT OR A BAD DAY SINCE. 475 00:19:58,752 --> 00:20:01,289 I GET IT. HEY, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY WIFE TAMMY. 476 00:20:03,924 --> 00:20:06,193 I'D LIKE TO PUNCH YOU I N YOUR FAT FACE RIGHT ABOUT NOW. 477 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,429 OKAY, WELL, I THINK WE HAVE SOME CLOSURE. 478 00:20:08,496 --> 00:20:10,664 WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? YOU LIKE THAT? WHY DON'T YOU GET OFFSTAGE? 479 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:11,732 GET OFFSTAGE. 480 00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:16,304 DO YOU KNOW ANY CAT STEVENS? OH, MAN. 481 00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:21,174 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 482 00:20:21,809 --> 00:20:23,811 ODDLY AT PEACE. 483 00:20:23,877 --> 00:20:25,613 I FEEL LIKE I COULD DIE RIGHT NOW. 484 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,352 I MADE IT. I'M LEAVING. 485 00:20:31,419 --> 00:20:32,820 WHAT? NO! WHY? 486 00:20:32,886 --> 00:20:34,855 ROMAN TAUGHT ME SOMETHING TONIGHT, BEN. 487 00:20:34,922 --> 00:20:36,790 WELL, THAT DOESN'T SEEM REMOTELY POSSIBLE. 488 00:20:36,857 --> 00:20:39,293 SEX MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT LOVE. 489 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:40,794 LOVE? HOW DID THAT COME UP? 490 00:20:40,861 --> 00:20:43,531 HE WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BABYSIT YOU, SIT WITH YOU. 491 00:20:43,597 --> 00:20:46,600 I'M SORRY. I'M JUST... I'M NOT THE WOMAN THAT I THOUGHT I WAS. 492 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:48,369 OF COURSE YOU ARE. 493 00:20:48,436 --> 00:20:50,638 YOU'RE THIS WOMAN RIGHT HERE, 494 00:20:50,704 --> 00:20:52,239 AND HERE, AND... 495 00:20:52,306 --> 00:20:53,441 OH, GOD! DON'T LOOK AT THAT. 496 00:20:54,575 --> 00:20:55,576 GOOD NIGHT, BEN. 497 00:21:00,314 --> 00:21:01,449 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 498 00:21:05,853 --> 00:21:06,887 WHAT DID YOU DO? 499 00:21:06,954 --> 00:21:08,021 WHAT? JESSIE... 500 00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:09,757 YOU GAVE HER SELF-ESTEEM! 501 00:21:09,823 --> 00:21:11,525 I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO. 502 00:21:18,832 --> 00:21:20,501 (LAUGHS) SQUIDWARD. 503 00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:25,105 BEN, YOU'RE KILLING ME RIGHT NOW.