1 00:00:16,171 --> 00:00:18,273 We have a problem. Oh! God. 2 00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,442 Yeah. I know. It's 1,000 degrees in here. 3 00:00:20,509 --> 00:00:22,010 What are you talking about? 4 00:00:22,077 --> 00:00:24,179 Well, the air conditioning must be broken. Aren't you hot? 5 00:00:24,246 --> 00:00:26,515 I wear a thick velvet Puma suit 10 hours a day. 6 00:00:26,581 --> 00:00:28,983 I've learned to hydrate in ways that disgust even me. 7 00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:30,519 Look, I want a raise. 8 00:00:30,585 --> 00:00:32,221 I work my ass off for this place every night. 9 00:00:32,287 --> 00:00:33,588 We've been over this. 10 00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:35,357 You're only supposed to work four hours a week. 11 00:00:35,424 --> 00:00:37,559 And yet, you're always here in the suit, 12 00:00:37,626 --> 00:00:39,361 and no one knows why. 13 00:00:39,428 --> 00:00:42,131 I'll tell you why. Because I engender pep. 14 00:00:42,197 --> 00:00:44,799 People need pep. And I am pep. 15 00:00:44,866 --> 00:00:46,067 I would really like to think 16 00:00:46,135 --> 00:00:48,270 that this conversation's almost over. 17 00:00:48,337 --> 00:00:51,506 If you don't give me a raise, I will quit. 18 00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:54,143 Leave the suit at the front gate. 19 00:00:56,044 --> 00:00:57,346 I'm at rock bottom. 20 00:01:01,983 --> 00:01:03,818 Hey! How's everybody doing? 21 00:01:04,919 --> 00:01:06,188 It's a little hot. 22 00:01:06,255 --> 00:01:08,657 Yes, it is. It is a little hot. 23 00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:10,425 And that's a problem, because tomorrow night, 24 00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:12,561 thousands of people are coming here for the big game. 25 00:01:12,627 --> 00:01:15,096 And today, the team needs to practice. 26 00:01:15,164 --> 00:01:17,832 So can you, as maintenance men, make it a little less hot, 27 00:01:17,899 --> 00:01:20,535 with your tools and your vast knowledge of ducts? 28 00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,771 Where's Robert? I'm Robert. 29 00:01:22,837 --> 00:01:24,706 Right. Yes. Of... Of course. 30 00:01:24,773 --> 00:01:27,676 I... I was talking about the air conditioning guy Robert. 31 00:01:27,742 --> 00:01:30,945 You mean Louis. He quit because you kept calling him "Robert." 32 00:01:31,012 --> 00:01:33,748 Okay. Well, we have to track him down. Who... Who can do that? 33 00:01:33,815 --> 00:01:36,050 Louis used to track people down. 34 00:01:36,117 --> 00:01:38,320 So Louis was a fairly big loss. 35 00:01:38,387 --> 00:01:39,954 Listen, people can't work this way. 36 00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:41,723 We have to cool this place down as soon as possible, 37 00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:45,059 don't you think so, Donny? That's Ted. 38 00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,962 Well, you guys know how hard it is to remember all these names. 39 00:01:48,029 --> 00:01:49,464 We know your name is Ben. 40 00:01:49,531 --> 00:01:52,000 Well, that's easy. I look like a Ben. 41 00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:53,235 So in the spirit of that, 42 00:01:53,302 --> 00:01:55,470 what do you say today, I call you all "Steve"? 43 00:01:55,537 --> 00:01:57,071 My name actually is Steve. 44 00:01:57,138 --> 00:01:59,274 Well, what a win-win for you, Steve. 45 00:01:59,341 --> 00:02:01,109 Can we get the air conditioning fixed... 46 00:02:02,577 --> 00:02:03,912 Steves? 47 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,023 (CHUCKLES) 48 00:02:16,591 --> 00:02:17,792 (FAN CLICKS) 49 00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:24,299 Crystal, do not worry. I'm on the air conditioning thing. 50 00:02:24,366 --> 00:02:26,768 And we'll apologize to the women basketball players 51 00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:29,304 and fill their lockers with extra lady razors. 52 00:02:29,371 --> 00:02:31,105 They must go through those things like candy. 53 00:02:31,172 --> 00:02:32,674 Oh, I don't care about that, 54 00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:36,144 other than how it's completely murdering my hairdo. 55 00:02:36,211 --> 00:02:37,746 The maintenance workers are all in a tizzy 56 00:02:37,812 --> 00:02:40,582 because you apparently insisted on calling them all "Steve"? 57 00:02:40,649 --> 00:02:41,716 How do you know about that? 58 00:02:41,783 --> 00:02:43,285 That happened, like, three minutes ago. 59 00:02:43,352 --> 00:02:45,554 A little bird told me. 60 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:47,188 Ted Littlebird. 61 00:02:47,256 --> 00:02:48,657 That handsome native American fellow who works in maintenance. 62 00:02:48,723 --> 00:02:50,024 Jim's his brother. 63 00:02:50,091 --> 00:02:51,626 We have two Littlebirds working here? 64 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,094 You'd think that would have come up more often. 65 00:02:53,161 --> 00:02:54,596 Exactly my point. You don't know the name 66 00:02:54,663 --> 00:02:55,830 of anybody who works here, 67 00:02:55,897 --> 00:02:58,032 and they've had it with your insensitivity. 68 00:02:58,099 --> 00:03:00,735 That is not fair. I have made a solid effort to connect with people here. 69 00:03:00,802 --> 00:03:02,604 I may not know all of their names, but when they walk 70 00:03:02,671 --> 00:03:05,740 down the hallway, I'll say, Hello... Hello... Hello there. 71 00:03:05,807 --> 00:03:07,742 And there's one guy that I always call "Chief." 72 00:03:07,809 --> 00:03:10,779 Unfortunately, it's not one of the two Indian gentlemen you mentioned earlier. 73 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:13,315 Well, regardless, the Steves refuse to go back to work, 74 00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:14,949 so you have to apologize. 75 00:03:15,016 --> 00:03:17,552 And for God's sake, learn their names. Basic management skills. 76 00:03:17,619 --> 00:03:19,688 Oh, please. Like you know everybody's names? 77 00:03:19,754 --> 00:03:22,324 I most certainly do. And I've worked very hard at it. 78 00:03:22,391 --> 00:03:24,225 What do you think I do in here all day? 79 00:03:24,293 --> 00:03:26,695 Oh, I don't want to think about that. 80 00:03:26,761 --> 00:03:29,130 (KNOCKING) Pardon me. Crystal? 81 00:03:29,197 --> 00:03:31,633 I just wanted to drop off this week's banana bread. 82 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,635 And I think that I can get you the attendance breakdown 83 00:03:33,702 --> 00:03:34,836 a day earlier this week. 84 00:03:34,903 --> 00:03:37,672 Oh, Diane. 85 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:38,807 Diane. 86 00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:42,677 Oh, Diane... 87 00:03:43,578 --> 00:03:45,747 Thank you. Pleasure. 88 00:03:45,814 --> 00:03:47,449 Bye, Diane. (SNIFFS) 89 00:03:47,516 --> 00:03:48,583 You see, 90 00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:50,319 in order to be a boss who is liked 91 00:03:50,385 --> 00:03:52,220 and to get the most out of your employees, 92 00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:54,255 you have to do the basics. 93 00:03:54,323 --> 00:03:55,357 (THUDS) 94 00:03:55,424 --> 00:03:56,925 Say hello, learn their names, 95 00:03:56,991 --> 00:03:59,594 and every now and then, throw them an ice cream party. 96 00:03:59,661 --> 00:04:00,862 People like me. 97 00:04:00,929 --> 00:04:02,196 I would even go so far as to say, 98 00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:04,299 they find me to be an unbridled delight. 99 00:04:04,366 --> 00:04:05,467 (LAUGHS) 100 00:04:05,534 --> 00:04:07,068 Oh, no, they don't. 101 00:04:07,135 --> 00:04:08,337 Okay. Well, you know what? 102 00:04:08,403 --> 00:04:09,938 If they're not going to notice the effort 103 00:04:10,004 --> 00:04:11,573 I've been putting out there, then... Then the hell with them. 104 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,074 I'll fix the air conditioning myself. 105 00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:14,543 Well, do it! Do it quickly! 106 00:04:17,078 --> 00:04:18,747 (GASPING) 107 00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:20,214 (BOTH LAUGHING) 108 00:04:20,281 --> 00:04:21,850 There you two are! 109 00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:23,685 I have been meaning to tell you 110 00:04:23,752 --> 00:04:25,954 that watching your relationship bloom and flourish 111 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:29,624 has been both fascinating and enlightening. 112 00:04:29,691 --> 00:04:32,327 Thank you? Uh, okay. Sure. Yeah, thank you. 113 00:04:32,394 --> 00:04:34,563 And since you two are really making it work, 114 00:04:34,629 --> 00:04:37,399 I'd love for you to meet my new fella. 115 00:04:37,466 --> 00:04:40,201 What do you say to a double date? 116 00:04:40,268 --> 00:04:42,136 Really? That'd be great! 117 00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:44,773 What an honor, Crystal. Let's say Friday. 118 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:47,409 Oh, Darius will be thrilled! 119 00:04:47,476 --> 00:04:50,011 Oh, Darius? That's my fella's name. 120 00:04:50,078 --> 00:04:51,580 Darius Washington. 121 00:04:51,646 --> 00:04:53,081 Ring a bell, Alonzo? 122 00:04:53,147 --> 00:04:55,784 Hmm. No. Should it? 123 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:58,052 Well, I just assumed all you brothers knew each other. 124 00:04:58,119 --> 00:04:59,521 (LAUGHING) 125 00:04:59,588 --> 00:05:01,022 Um, you know what, Crystal? 126 00:05:01,089 --> 00:05:03,858 I just realized, we have something Friday. 127 00:05:03,925 --> 00:05:06,160 I don't think we do. I'm certain we do. 128 00:05:06,227 --> 00:05:07,862 Well... 129 00:05:07,929 --> 00:05:09,230 Some other time, then. 130 00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:15,103 Um, did you just pick up on what was going on there? 131 00:05:15,169 --> 00:05:17,338 Yeah. As subtle as it was, I got it. 132 00:05:17,406 --> 00:05:19,173 She obviously just asked us out 133 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,476 because she's dating a black man, and then assumed 134 00:05:21,543 --> 00:05:23,311 that you would know him because he's a "brother." 135 00:05:23,378 --> 00:05:25,547 Look, it's no surprise Crystal is insensitive. 136 00:05:25,614 --> 00:05:28,016 This is the woman who handed Yo-Yo Ma her dry cleaning. 137 00:05:28,082 --> 00:05:30,419 But the point is, she wants to have dinner with us. 138 00:05:30,485 --> 00:05:32,787 She's trying. I think we should have said yes. 139 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,322 Really? Yeah. 140 00:05:34,389 --> 00:05:36,391 And who knows? She spends time with us, and the next time, 141 00:05:36,458 --> 00:05:38,660 she won't ask the guys from Los Lobos to park her car. 142 00:05:40,662 --> 00:05:41,730 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 143 00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,435 Hey, Ben, what you doing? 144 00:05:46,501 --> 00:05:48,437 Well, the Steves refuse to work still, 145 00:05:48,503 --> 00:05:50,472 so I figured I'd take a look at the air conditioning myself. 146 00:05:50,539 --> 00:05:53,775 I'm fairly handy. I once installed blinds in my bathroom. 147 00:05:53,842 --> 00:05:55,577 That's not true. I've never done that. 148 00:05:55,644 --> 00:05:57,746 You're an amazing man, Ben. Thank you, Roman. 149 00:05:57,812 --> 00:05:59,313 So I got the results of the poll. 150 00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:00,482 The popularity poll? 151 00:06:00,549 --> 00:06:01,950 You've been vindicated. 152 00:06:03,051 --> 00:06:04,753 People like me. 153 00:06:04,819 --> 00:06:07,989 Oh. I do not know what "vindicated" means. 154 00:06:08,056 --> 00:06:10,191 Well, you must have slanted the question somehow. 155 00:06:10,258 --> 00:06:13,261 How did you ask it? "I like Ben. Do you?" 156 00:06:13,327 --> 00:06:14,696 And no one... Not a one. 157 00:06:14,763 --> 00:06:15,930 Let me finish the question! 158 00:06:19,968 --> 00:06:21,470 (MACHINES HUMMING) Okay, fine. So they don't like me. 159 00:06:21,536 --> 00:06:23,905 I'm not their friend, I'm their boss. 160 00:06:23,972 --> 00:06:25,640 I shouldn't have to learn everybody's names 161 00:06:25,707 --> 00:06:27,676 just to get them to do their jobs. 162 00:06:27,742 --> 00:06:29,143 It's time for everybody to grow up 163 00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:30,579 and start being professionals. 164 00:06:36,785 --> 00:06:37,852 (DOOR CLOSES) 165 00:06:41,222 --> 00:06:42,857 Yeah, I got to learn their names. 166 00:06:44,358 --> 00:06:48,362 CHORUS: * Mr. Sunshine, yay! 167 00:06:55,169 --> 00:06:56,838 Hey. Hey. 168 00:06:56,905 --> 00:06:59,073 I have a great idea on how you can learn people's names. 169 00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:01,510 It's a system I used when I went to the University of Phoenix 170 00:07:01,576 --> 00:07:03,778 so I could get to know my fellow classmates. 171 00:07:03,845 --> 00:07:06,648 But that's an online University that has no campus. 172 00:07:06,715 --> 00:07:09,484 Which made it that much harder. I see. 173 00:07:09,551 --> 00:07:12,220 Okay. So what I did was, I wrote everyone's name 174 00:07:12,286 --> 00:07:14,055 and put their photo on a card. 175 00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:16,791 Now all we have to do is think of a description of that person 176 00:07:16,858 --> 00:07:18,993 that matches their initials. We write it on the card, 177 00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,162 and then you can study them like flash cards. 178 00:07:21,229 --> 00:07:23,998 Roman, that's actually a really good idea. 179 00:07:24,065 --> 00:07:25,734 I know. (CHUCKLES) 180 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,537 Okay. Fred Patterson. 181 00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,572 Fred Patterson. F. P. 182 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,642 How about "Friendly personality"? 183 00:07:33,708 --> 00:07:36,477 Uh, "Friendly personality" is a little too vague. 184 00:07:36,545 --> 00:07:41,349 I'm going to go with "Fat pumpkin." 185 00:07:41,415 --> 00:07:44,586 Wow. I mean look at his face, that's like a blimp. 186 00:07:44,653 --> 00:07:47,088 And he's got a very odd skin hue. 187 00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:49,858 Doug Miller... "Disgusting moles." 188 00:07:49,924 --> 00:07:51,993 No... Look at those things. Look at that one right there. 189 00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,494 No, I don't... That... Yeah. 190 00:07:53,562 --> 00:07:56,565 Wayne Fredericks. "Walks funny." 191 00:07:56,631 --> 00:07:58,833 Ben, I don't... I don't think this is right. 192 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,468 No, it's right. He walks like 193 00:08:00,535 --> 00:08:01,970 there's a giant beach ball between his knees. 194 00:08:02,036 --> 00:08:03,805 This is so much fun! 195 00:08:03,872 --> 00:08:05,439 I'm going to do this with everybody who works here! 196 00:08:05,506 --> 00:08:06,641 Michelle Gritzer. 197 00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:09,443 "My... Grand..." 198 00:08:10,244 --> 00:08:11,512 Hmm. I'll remember that. 199 00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:16,785 Oh, Crystal. 200 00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:20,521 I checked our calendar, and Alonzo was right. 201 00:08:20,589 --> 00:08:22,056 We are free Friday. 202 00:08:22,123 --> 00:08:24,125 Oh, well, great. I'll go ahead and make the reservations. 203 00:08:24,192 --> 00:08:25,794 I think everyone will be happy with barbecue. 204 00:08:26,861 --> 00:08:28,362 Barbecue? Why barbecue? 205 00:08:28,897 --> 00:08:30,665 (CHUCKLES) 206 00:08:30,732 --> 00:08:31,933 That's a good one. 207 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,067 (LAUGHING) 208 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,143 Excuse me, everyone. I have something to say. 209 00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:46,480 Oh, golly. Frozen burritos down, fellas. 210 00:08:46,547 --> 00:08:49,350 Thank you for your enthusiasm, Robert Ketterman. 211 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:52,921 You see, Jeff Sheehan, Fred Patterson... 212 00:08:52,987 --> 00:08:56,490 I may have come across a little harsh today, Doug Miller. 213 00:08:56,557 --> 00:08:58,059 We could blame it on the heat. 214 00:08:58,126 --> 00:09:00,328 But I'd like to apologize, Leo Peccini, 215 00:09:01,495 --> 00:09:03,531 Ryan Mills, Rod Sherwood, 216 00:09:03,598 --> 00:09:05,399 for my behavior, Bruce McAdam, 217 00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:07,335 and both Littlebirds, Ted and Jim. 218 00:09:09,537 --> 00:09:11,606 Well, thanks, Ben. 219 00:09:11,673 --> 00:09:14,208 Thanks a lot. You're welcome, Robert Ketterman. 220 00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:16,745 Boy, it sure is hot in here. 221 00:09:19,981 --> 00:09:21,249 You know what? I suppose we could take 222 00:09:21,315 --> 00:09:22,751 another crack at fixing the air. 223 00:09:22,817 --> 00:09:25,754 Oh, I would really appreciate that, fellas. 224 00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:27,221 (CHUCKLES) Sure, Ben. 225 00:09:27,288 --> 00:09:29,057 Whoa! You scared me, Steve Gurtner. 226 00:09:33,628 --> 00:09:35,897 Roman, I have found your job for the day. 227 00:09:35,964 --> 00:09:39,133 Pack up all the fans and put them in storage, because I did it! 228 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,803 I learned everybody's names, and they're fixing the air. 229 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:43,237 That's awesome! 230 00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:45,674 They patted me on the back. They smiled at me. 231 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:47,275 No one's ever smiled at me before, 232 00:09:47,341 --> 00:09:49,343 except for that woman in bookkeeping, 233 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:51,579 creepy smile, Carol Sanderson. 234 00:09:51,646 --> 00:09:54,215 Oh, no. That's not a smile, that's a wince. 235 00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:56,450 She has chronic back pain. Oh, it doesn't matter. 236 00:09:56,517 --> 00:09:59,688 The point is that I started this just to get people back to work, 237 00:09:59,754 --> 00:10:02,090 but then I enjoyed connecting. 238 00:10:02,156 --> 00:10:04,158 I think I like it when people smile at me. 239 00:10:04,225 --> 00:10:06,027 I'm going to go let them smile at me some more. 240 00:10:07,195 --> 00:10:08,329 Yeah! Just like that. 241 00:10:11,265 --> 00:10:12,667 Nice job, Fred Patterson. 242 00:10:12,734 --> 00:10:14,202 Hey, thanks, Ben. 243 00:10:14,268 --> 00:10:16,370 Hey, great sweeping, Angie Albertini. 244 00:10:16,437 --> 00:10:17,839 Have a good night, Ben. 245 00:10:17,906 --> 00:10:20,141 Hey, thanks for holding the elevator, Wayne Fredericks. 246 00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:27,548 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 247 00:10:27,615 --> 00:10:30,051 That is one happy ficus, Matt Smith. 248 00:10:30,118 --> 00:10:31,385 You bet, Ben. 249 00:10:34,488 --> 00:10:37,391 Hey, everyone! The air conditioning's back on! 250 00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:39,127 (CHEERING) 251 00:10:41,262 --> 00:10:42,663 Good job. 252 00:10:42,731 --> 00:10:43,798 Here you go, Ben. 253 00:10:43,865 --> 00:10:45,466 I hope you don't mind, I made it with walnuts. 254 00:10:45,533 --> 00:10:48,402 I don't mind. I love banana bread. I love walnuts. 255 00:10:48,469 --> 00:10:50,638 And I love you, Diane De La Guardia. 256 00:10:50,705 --> 00:10:51,840 Oh, you're nice. 257 00:11:03,752 --> 00:11:04,986 Oh! 258 00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:08,289 (WARBLING VOICE) Hello. 259 00:11:08,356 --> 00:11:09,590 (LAUGHS) 260 00:11:14,062 --> 00:11:17,866 (WARBLING VOICE) * Do you believe in life after love? 261 00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:20,101 (FAN CLICKS) 262 00:11:20,168 --> 00:11:24,505 * I can feel something inside me say 263 00:11:24,572 --> 00:11:28,609 * I really don't think you're strong enough, no 264 00:11:28,676 --> 00:11:32,480 * Do you believe in life after love, love, 265 00:11:32,546 --> 00:11:34,548 * Love, love, love, love. 266 00:11:34,615 --> 00:11:38,753 * I can feel something inside me say 267 00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:43,424 * I really don't think you're strong enough, no 268 00:11:43,491 --> 00:11:47,095 * Do you believe in life after love, love, love 269 00:11:47,161 --> 00:11:48,196 * Love, love, love 270 00:11:55,937 --> 00:11:58,506 Hey, Leo Peccini, have you noticed that it's hot again? 271 00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:02,076 Why is that, Jeff Sheehan? 272 00:12:04,045 --> 00:12:07,982 Hey, it's Angie Albertini. Hey, Fred Patterson. 273 00:12:08,049 --> 00:12:10,484 Fred Patterson. Fred patterson, What's up? 274 00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,687 Don't you mean "Fat pumpkin"? 275 00:12:15,223 --> 00:12:17,191 Oh! 276 00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:18,359 Tina Lavinson. 277 00:12:24,532 --> 00:12:26,400 (FANS WHIRRING) 278 00:12:37,812 --> 00:12:38,880 (DOOR SLAMS) 279 00:12:38,947 --> 00:12:40,414 (SPEAKING INAUDIBLY) 280 00:12:41,482 --> 00:12:42,516 (MUFFLED) What? 281 00:12:53,461 --> 00:12:56,364 Benjamin, because of your ridiculous flash card scheme, 282 00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:59,233 it's hot again, and I look like Art Garfunkel. 283 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,469 What am I going to do? Here's what you're going to do. 284 00:13:01,535 --> 00:13:02,904 You're going to throw that ice cream party, 285 00:13:02,971 --> 00:13:04,305 and they're going to forget about what you did, 286 00:13:04,372 --> 00:13:05,506 they're gonna go back to work, 287 00:13:05,573 --> 00:13:07,141 the air conditioning is going to go back on, 288 00:13:07,208 --> 00:13:09,343 and it'll all be a bridge over troubled water. 289 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,745 Crystal, this runs deeper than an ice cream party. 290 00:13:11,812 --> 00:13:14,515 Well, we can do a crepe party, but the line gets so long. 291 00:13:14,582 --> 00:13:16,050 It was a great day. 292 00:13:16,117 --> 00:13:17,585 I didn't feel like I was working with employees. 293 00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:19,020 I was working with friends! 294 00:13:19,087 --> 00:13:21,355 I told you to learn their names, not befriend them 295 00:13:21,422 --> 00:13:22,623 like you all spent four years together 296 00:13:22,690 --> 00:13:24,058 at the University of Phoenix. 297 00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:27,395 But I liked being friends with them. It felt good. 298 00:13:27,461 --> 00:13:29,397 Last night, Diane made me a banana bread, 299 00:13:29,463 --> 00:13:31,099 and I'm not usually a fan of quick breads. 300 00:13:31,165 --> 00:13:33,667 Well, I'm terribly sorry you're going to lose all your playmates, 301 00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:36,938 but we have a real problem that needs to be solved right now. 302 00:13:37,005 --> 00:13:39,373 I want it all. I want them to be friends with me, 303 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,242 and I want them to go back to work. 304 00:13:41,309 --> 00:13:42,877 Did you want to, uh... 305 00:13:47,081 --> 00:13:49,583 Oh, there you are. I just wanted to tell you 306 00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:52,386 how much I'm looking forward to tomorrow night. 307 00:13:52,453 --> 00:13:55,723 Yeah. Can't wait. Oh, and, um... 308 00:13:55,789 --> 00:13:58,459 Let's make sure to get in a little girl talk beforehand. 309 00:13:58,526 --> 00:14:01,262 I need to get the skinny on how to handle the societal stigmas 310 00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:04,132 of being in that kind of relationship. 311 00:14:04,198 --> 00:14:06,367 And what kind is that? 312 00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:09,370 Oh. Don't make me say it out loud. 313 00:14:13,674 --> 00:14:16,444 I can't do it. I can't be okay with this. 314 00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:17,979 I am not going to be part of 315 00:14:18,046 --> 00:14:19,713 Crystal's token interracial couple. 316 00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:21,782 Honey... No, I'm not going to calm down. 317 00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:24,752 Just because you can tolerate it doesn't mean that I have to. 318 00:14:24,818 --> 00:14:26,287 Okay. You're new to this. 319 00:14:26,354 --> 00:14:28,122 If you try to fight every little indignity, 320 00:14:28,189 --> 00:14:29,390 you're going to exhaust yourself. 321 00:14:29,457 --> 00:14:31,159 And at the end of the day, getting upset about it 322 00:14:31,225 --> 00:14:33,694 doesn't make Crystal any less petty or ignorant. 323 00:14:33,761 --> 00:14:35,496 She never wanted to have dinner with me. 324 00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:38,366 Now all of a sudden, I'm black, and she's interested. 325 00:14:38,432 --> 00:14:41,602 You are not black. Well, I could have been. 326 00:14:41,669 --> 00:14:44,238 My mom was very progressive in her 20s. 327 00:14:47,976 --> 00:14:50,844 Okay. In the interest of clearing the air, 328 00:14:50,911 --> 00:14:53,814 we're gonna do something called an affinity circle. 329 00:14:53,881 --> 00:14:56,117 I web searched "mending relationships". 330 00:14:56,184 --> 00:14:57,851 Came up with some pretty dark stuff. 331 00:14:57,918 --> 00:15:00,654 Incest, apparently very difficult to overcome. 332 00:15:00,721 --> 00:15:02,490 If you've made out with your grandfather, 333 00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:04,758 forget it. Just forget it. 334 00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:07,428 Now I know that I've hurt your feelings, 335 00:15:07,495 --> 00:15:09,563 so this is your opportunity 336 00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:12,333 to express your true feelings about me. 337 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,103 And then we can move on and be friends again. 338 00:15:18,539 --> 00:15:21,609 Now just to make sure we don't all talk at the same time, 339 00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:24,612 and in honor of the only book that I've ever read, 340 00:15:24,678 --> 00:15:27,615 Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Flies... 341 00:15:27,681 --> 00:15:29,450 Roman... 342 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:30,951 Bring to me the conch! 343 00:15:35,589 --> 00:15:36,624 This is the conch you got? 344 00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:38,392 It was the only one I could find. 345 00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:41,262 This is San Diego. They made the library out of conchs! 346 00:15:41,329 --> 00:15:42,763 All right. Just go sit down. 347 00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:43,964 Did you bring the pad of paper? Yeah, yeah... 348 00:15:44,032 --> 00:15:45,799 Do you have a pen? Okay. 349 00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:46,934 So... 350 00:15:47,001 --> 00:15:49,237 Who wants to go first? Don't be shy. 351 00:15:49,303 --> 00:15:51,172 Anyone? Anyone? 352 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,742 I say, anyone? 353 00:15:54,808 --> 00:15:59,680 Um, on Mondays, you can be a little grumpy. 354 00:15:59,747 --> 00:16:02,316 What a great start. Way to get the ball rolling. 355 00:16:02,383 --> 00:16:03,784 Roman, jot that down. 356 00:16:03,851 --> 00:16:05,986 "Watch grumpiness on Mondays." 357 00:16:06,054 --> 00:16:08,222 Okay, who's next? Anyone? 358 00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,091 Anyone? This is ridiculous. 359 00:16:10,158 --> 00:16:11,859 What's holding you people back? 360 00:16:11,925 --> 00:16:14,428 Benjamin, you're a preening, self-centered narcissist, 361 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,030 and your socks are too designy. 362 00:16:16,097 --> 00:16:17,531 What's with all the stripes? You're not Beetlejuice. 363 00:16:17,598 --> 00:16:19,633 You're a human man. Next. 364 00:16:23,337 --> 00:16:25,106 The only time you've ever looked me in the eyes 365 00:16:25,173 --> 00:16:27,308 was to check your hair in my glasses. 366 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:29,577 Okay. (UNDER BREATH) Jot that down. 367 00:16:29,643 --> 00:16:33,914 And while we're at it, your hair is stupid. 368 00:16:33,981 --> 00:16:36,617 Well, Diane, that... That... That... That kind of hurts. 369 00:16:36,684 --> 00:16:38,719 It's weird you've only ever read one book. 370 00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:40,321 And you know, you clear your throat too much. 371 00:16:40,388 --> 00:16:43,057 That's true. You really do. "Good... (CLEARS THROAT) 372 00:16:43,124 --> 00:16:44,492 "Morning... (CLEARS THROAT) 373 00:16:44,558 --> 00:16:45,893 "Everyone..." (CLEARS THROAT) 374 00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:48,196 (EMPLOYEES CLEAR THROATS) 375 00:16:48,262 --> 00:16:51,399 The conch! The conch! You have to be holding the conch! 376 00:16:51,465 --> 00:16:53,734 What's up with that chin? You barely even have one. 377 00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,969 Yes! It's kind of like your face 378 00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:58,506 cascades into your neck. There's no definition. 379 00:16:58,572 --> 00:17:00,941 It's more like you have a...chinneck. 380 00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:02,810 A chinneck! Yeah, a chinneck. 381 00:17:02,876 --> 00:17:04,878 You sleep in your office all the time. We can see you, you know? 382 00:17:04,945 --> 00:17:08,649 (EMPLOYEES TALKING INDISTINCTLY)) 383 00:17:08,716 --> 00:17:10,618 Okay, okay, that's it. Stop it. 384 00:17:10,684 --> 00:17:13,454 You're right. I should not have called you all those names. 385 00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:16,657 I tried to be your friend, but obviously, that ship has sailed. 386 00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:19,427 So, Fred, fix the air conditioning. 387 00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:21,329 Matt, restock the candy room. 388 00:17:21,395 --> 00:17:24,765 All of you, go back to doing the jobs that you're paid to do! 389 00:17:24,832 --> 00:17:26,300 That's it! End of meeting! 390 00:17:28,502 --> 00:17:30,438 You're really bad at affinity circles. 391 00:17:30,504 --> 00:17:33,407 (EMPLOYEES SPEAK INDISTINCTLY) 392 00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:36,210 Hey, you two! Wait up! 393 00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:38,546 If you have a sec, Darius is coming by to say hi. 394 00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:40,948 Alonzo, you must know him from one of those meetings 395 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:43,551 with the brothers, with those silly handshakes you do. 396 00:17:43,617 --> 00:17:46,254 And those houses you live in should be condemned. 397 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,089 Disgusting places. Liquor bottles all over the place, 398 00:17:49,157 --> 00:17:51,792 couches in the yard. I don't know how you live like that. 399 00:17:51,859 --> 00:17:55,596 Crystal, you have a petty and ignorant view of race. 400 00:17:55,663 --> 00:17:58,632 Crystal Cohen, I have had it with your racist stereotyping. 401 00:17:58,699 --> 00:18:01,202 And are you really growing an afro? 402 00:18:01,269 --> 00:18:03,571 You look like Diana Ross mid-concert in Central Park. 403 00:18:03,637 --> 00:18:07,375 Well, Alonzo, my hair is frizzy because it's hot in here. 404 00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,510 Hi, sweetie! Oh, there you are, honey. 405 00:18:09,577 --> 00:18:11,579 (KISSES) You seem to have caught us 406 00:18:11,645 --> 00:18:14,014 at a very awkward... Rusty! 407 00:18:14,081 --> 00:18:15,516 Rusty Washington! Oh, my God! 408 00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:17,418 Alonzo? Hey, buddy! 409 00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:19,387 Hey! 410 00:18:19,453 --> 00:18:20,754 You know Darius? 411 00:18:20,821 --> 00:18:22,122 Yeah, we went to college together, 412 00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:24,425 but I know him as Rusty. When did you switch to Darius? 413 00:18:24,492 --> 00:18:25,893 It's my middle name. 414 00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:28,396 See, I'm a dentist, and it seems that people 415 00:18:28,462 --> 00:18:30,498 are a little leery of a dentist named Rusty. 416 00:18:30,564 --> 00:18:34,402 Hilarious! Yeah, we were fraternity brothers... 417 00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:37,037 Oh, God. 418 00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:38,972 And we did have a silly handshake. 419 00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:40,908 And we did go to meetings. 420 00:18:40,974 --> 00:18:44,278 And our frat house should have been condemned! 421 00:18:44,345 --> 00:18:48,015 Crystal, I'm so sorry. Big mistake. 422 00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:50,384 Wait. Not so fast, though. 423 00:18:50,451 --> 00:18:53,020 What about the "societal stigmas" 424 00:18:53,086 --> 00:18:55,489 of being in that kind of a relationship? 425 00:18:55,556 --> 00:18:59,860 You know... Older women, younger men. 426 00:18:59,927 --> 00:19:02,763 Alonzo is 10 years older than me. 427 00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:05,799 Oof! Duh. 428 00:19:11,772 --> 00:19:13,106 Okay, everyone, listen up! 429 00:19:13,173 --> 00:19:15,209 Let's hear a nice round of applause for Ben 430 00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:18,279 and his great idea for an ice cream party! 431 00:19:20,881 --> 00:19:24,652 Chocolate and vanilla? Wow. That makes up for everything. 432 00:19:24,718 --> 00:19:27,721 I told you this was not going to work. Hmm. 433 00:19:27,788 --> 00:19:31,825 Giving my employees ice cream has always cheered them up in the past. 434 00:19:31,892 --> 00:19:33,761 Or was that health care benefits? 435 00:19:33,827 --> 00:19:35,929 (GASPS) Toffee bits! 436 00:19:39,367 --> 00:19:41,669 Look, maybe this is the way it has to be, you know? 437 00:19:41,735 --> 00:19:43,737 Maybe I'm kidding myself that I could be friends 438 00:19:43,804 --> 00:19:45,639 with people who work for me. 439 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,775 Well, you know, you got to know their names. 440 00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:49,877 But you didn't really get to know them. 441 00:19:49,943 --> 00:19:52,846 Ugh. That seems so hard. 442 00:19:52,913 --> 00:19:55,683 Well, you did it with me, and I'm your friend. 443 00:19:57,184 --> 00:19:58,786 Yeah. I... I guess so. 444 00:19:58,852 --> 00:20:00,321 And I'm a handful. 445 00:20:00,388 --> 00:20:01,589 (LAUGHING) 446 00:20:01,655 --> 00:20:03,391 So I bet, you know, you can do it again. 447 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,363 Yeah, okay. Just don't watch me do it. 448 00:20:11,565 --> 00:20:14,067 Uh, good night. 449 00:20:14,134 --> 00:20:15,769 Good night. 450 00:20:15,836 --> 00:20:18,506 So you got anything going on this weekend? 451 00:20:18,572 --> 00:20:22,209 Oh, man. Both my kids are sick, and my wife's out of town. 452 00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:25,579 It's just me. Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm not asking you to work. 453 00:20:25,646 --> 00:20:27,981 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Oh, good. I don't have kids or a wife. 454 00:20:28,048 --> 00:20:29,550 Going to get drunk, race go-carts. 455 00:20:29,617 --> 00:20:31,385 Okay. Well, that sounds fun. 456 00:20:31,452 --> 00:20:33,220 Maybe sometime you and I can... 457 00:20:33,287 --> 00:20:35,323 Oh, man. Both my kids are sick. 458 00:20:35,389 --> 00:20:36,390 Yeah. 459 00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:37,558 Yeah. 460 00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,431 Hey, Ben. 461 00:20:45,733 --> 00:20:47,535 Maybe sometime. 462 00:20:47,601 --> 00:20:50,804 Yeah? Yeah. See you Monday. 463 00:20:50,871 --> 00:20:55,242 See you Monday, Ro... Ber... Mmm.