1 00:00:00,478 --> 00:00:03,580 I-I don't really know what happened on Shameless last week. 2 00:00:03,614 --> 00:00:05,777 Call once you find out. 3 00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,069 I'm home now. 4 00:00:08,103 --> 00:00:10,495 Mandy, I know you're seeing Lip. 5 00:00:10,529 --> 00:00:12,359 But like I told him, I think it's great. 6 00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:14,490 You knew Karen was in town, didn't you? 7 00:00:14,524 --> 00:00:17,588 If you've got a problem with me being here, just say so. 8 00:00:17,622 --> 00:00:19,152 I have a problem with you being here. 9 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:22,093 - What do you want? - Take your clothes off. 10 00:00:22,126 --> 00:00:23,691 Plumber's apprentice. I can do that. 11 00:00:23,725 --> 00:00:25,429 - Do you have experience? - I fixed our toilet. 12 00:00:25,463 --> 00:00:27,429 You shook the handle. Well, here's a good one. 13 00:00:27,463 --> 00:00:29,564 Barista at the coffee beanery. 14 00:00:29,599 --> 00:00:32,402 Jimmy. Andy from med school. 15 00:00:32,437 --> 00:00:34,904 You remember Adam Britt, Nick Stathis, Mark. 16 00:00:34,939 --> 00:00:36,606 We're grabbing dinner tomorrow night. 17 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,374 You should join us. 18 00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:41,576 She's gonna fuck the faggot out of you, kid. 19 00:00:41,611 --> 00:00:43,880 And you're goddamn gonna watch. 20 00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:46,082 - Karen? - [Gasps] 21 00:00:46,117 --> 00:00:48,851 You told me you came home to be with Hymie. 22 00:00:48,886 --> 00:00:52,390 But you told the Wongs to come take Hymie. 23 00:00:54,594 --> 00:00:56,127 Dead bolts, front and back. 24 00:00:56,161 --> 00:00:57,694 Frank's not allowed in anymore. 25 00:00:57,729 --> 00:00:59,295 Frank, I'm Chris. 26 00:00:59,329 --> 00:01:00,696 Would you be my sponsor? 27 00:01:00,730 --> 00:01:02,730 My previous sponsor moved out. 28 00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:04,466 - What, he lived with you? - Yeah. 29 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,035 I'm sorry. Let me introduce myself properly. 30 00:01:07,069 --> 00:01:08,369 Frank Gallagher. 31 00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:09,770 Night, Frank. 32 00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:12,272 Good night, Christopher. 33 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:13,773 [Claps] 34 00:01:14,404 --> 00:01:18,850 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 35 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,815 [High Strung's The Luck You Got] 36 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:26,652 ♪ ♪ 37 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:30,122 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 38 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,092 ♪ know that it's not for naught ♪ 39 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:36,396 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 40 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:40,600 ♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪ 41 00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:43,970 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 42 00:01:44,005 --> 00:01:47,441 ♪ that you speak of? ♪ 43 00:01:47,476 --> 00:01:49,643 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 44 00:01:49,678 --> 00:01:54,282 ♪ you're so sure of? ♪ 45 00:01:54,316 --> 00:02:01,189 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:01,223 --> 00:02:04,358 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 47 00:02:04,393 --> 00:02:07,595 ♪ know that they're not for naught ♪ 48 00:02:07,629 --> 00:02:10,865 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 49 00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:15,102 ♪ but it's not like that anymore ♪ 50 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:18,472 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 51 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:22,176 ♪ that you speak of? ♪ 52 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,144 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 53 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:27,813 ♪ you're so sure of? ♪ 54 00:02:32,217 --> 00:02:35,185 [Rock music] 55 00:02:35,219 --> 00:02:43,226 ♪ ♪ 56 00:02:51,335 --> 00:02:52,736 What do you think? 57 00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:54,804 Great for a coke orgy, not for an office job. 58 00:02:54,839 --> 00:02:57,174 - This is my nicest dress. - No, I know. 59 00:02:57,208 --> 00:02:58,875 I didn't say that it wasn't nice. 60 00:02:58,910 --> 00:03:00,910 I just said you can't wear it to an office. 61 00:03:00,945 --> 00:03:03,179 You said "coke orgy." 62 00:03:03,214 --> 00:03:06,249 - You okay? - Uh, yeah, just tired. 63 00:03:06,283 --> 00:03:08,051 - Didn't sleep well. - Take a nap later. 64 00:03:08,085 --> 00:03:09,987 Naps are for kids and college students. 65 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:12,222 I gotta go to work. 66 00:03:12,257 --> 00:03:14,825 - You sure I can't-- - 100% sure. 67 00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:18,562 [Baby squeals] 68 00:03:21,566 --> 00:03:23,233 Hey, you got an extra one of those? 69 00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:25,101 - You're gonna be late! - Got nothing to wear. 70 00:03:25,136 --> 00:03:26,436 Gonna see what V has. 71 00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:28,104 Is your new job at a strip club? 72 00:03:28,139 --> 00:03:30,540 - Ha, ha. - I wasn't kidding. 73 00:03:30,575 --> 00:03:32,042 It's a temp office job, so I don't know 74 00:03:32,076 --> 00:03:33,577 how long the day's gonna be. 75 00:03:33,611 --> 00:03:35,245 I expect all of you to help Jimmy with dinner 76 00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:37,347 and get your homework done and generally avoid 77 00:03:37,381 --> 00:03:38,682 setting the house on fire. 78 00:03:38,716 --> 00:03:40,350 Overcompensating. 79 00:03:40,384 --> 00:03:42,886 She feels guilty for turning us into latchkey kids. 80 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,389 What's a latchkey kid? 81 00:03:46,424 --> 00:03:47,624 Hey. 82 00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:50,661 I left some stuff here that I need. 83 00:03:53,298 --> 00:03:55,532 Is it wrong if I just leave for school? 84 00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:57,201 Later. 85 00:03:57,235 --> 00:03:59,369 [Baby babbles] 86 00:03:59,404 --> 00:04:01,939 - All right. - [Squeals] 87 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:08,480 [Grunts] 88 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,956 [Upbeat music] 89 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:22,328 ♪ ♪ 90 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,363 [Belches] 91 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,568 [Laughs] 92 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:35,741 ♪ ♪ 93 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,743 [Both laughing] 94 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,314 [Laughing] 95 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:45,250 - What's funny? - Garfield. 96 00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,986 He's always so hungry. 97 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:49,854 [Laughs] 98 00:04:51,823 --> 00:04:53,357 What are you reading about? 99 00:04:53,391 --> 00:04:55,192 A bunch of uppity queers claiming that 100 00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:57,962 domestic partnership rights are not good enough for them. 101 00:04:57,996 --> 00:04:59,664 They get offended when you call them queers, Frank. 102 00:04:59,698 --> 00:05:02,367 Calling people by their name is not, 103 00:05:02,401 --> 00:05:05,503 nor should it ever, be argued as offensive. 104 00:05:05,537 --> 00:05:07,205 God almighty. 105 00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:09,540 - You okay? - No! 106 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,677 I'm a pauper, and somehow I got the king's disease. 107 00:05:12,711 --> 00:05:13,978 Gonorrhea? 108 00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:15,446 Kings don't screw whores. 109 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,482 They screw virgins or their nieces. 110 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:19,150 The king's disease is gout. 111 00:05:19,184 --> 00:05:21,686 Big toe is throbbing like blue balls 112 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,055 that no blowjob can ever fix. 113 00:05:24,089 --> 00:05:26,324 You got any Percs or Vikes? 114 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:29,727 No, but I could call my doctor, 115 00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,329 see if she can fit you in. 116 00:05:31,363 --> 00:05:34,732 She's super nice. Korean. Small fingers. 117 00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:36,300 No, thank you. Doctors are crooks, 118 00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:37,968 especially the Korean ones. 119 00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:40,304 Never trust a culture that makes sausages from dogs. 120 00:05:40,338 --> 00:05:43,372 Frank, I'm pretty sure that's racist. 121 00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:46,809 Accurate is not racist. 122 00:05:46,844 --> 00:05:49,512 Write that down in your AA journal. 123 00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,586 Hold on. You work for the city. 124 00:05:57,621 --> 00:06:00,089 - Yeah. - We live together. 125 00:06:00,123 --> 00:06:03,025 You cook for me, clean for me, shop for me. 126 00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:05,061 That makes us family. 127 00:06:05,095 --> 00:06:08,097 Oh, Frank, I'm touched. 128 00:06:08,132 --> 00:06:11,267 We qualify for domestic partnership rights. 129 00:06:11,302 --> 00:06:13,036 I can use your insurance, go to the lady doctor 130 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:15,238 with the small fingers for free. 131 00:06:15,272 --> 00:06:17,340 No. No, no. 132 00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:19,008 Those laws do not apply to us. 133 00:06:19,043 --> 00:06:20,410 Why not? 134 00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:23,012 Why should our heterosexual proclivities 135 00:06:23,047 --> 00:06:25,282 prevent us from collecting our due? 136 00:06:25,316 --> 00:06:29,453 That is heterophobia, and I won't stand for it. 137 00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:31,055 You won't? 138 00:06:31,089 --> 00:06:32,590 The squeaky wheel gets the grease. 139 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,627 Write that down, Christopher. 140 00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:49,442 You mean everything you said? 141 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:50,776 No. 142 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:54,046 Well, how much of it did you mean? 143 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,449 I don't know-- I mean, I meant a little bit of it. 144 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,084 You know, I think there's some things that 145 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,154 we could stand to talk about, but mostly, I just-- 146 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,924 Was in douche land? 147 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,458 Not my choice of words, but-- 148 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,660 Why does Karen Jackson still have pictures of you 149 00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:12,163 on her Facebook page? 150 00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:14,065 I have no fucking idea. 151 00:07:14,099 --> 00:07:16,333 Well, if there's nothing going on between the two of you-- 152 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:18,235 - Mandy, I don't go on to Facebook, okay? 153 00:07:18,269 --> 00:07:19,903 'Cause I don't give a shit about whose pet just died 154 00:07:19,938 --> 00:07:22,806 or who just checked in at the fucking McDonald's. 155 00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:34,685 She's a skanky, manipulative bitch. 156 00:07:34,719 --> 00:07:37,755 You should un-friend her. 157 00:07:37,789 --> 00:07:40,657 Also, you have an appointment this afternoon 158 00:07:40,692 --> 00:07:42,759 with the alumni rep from MIT. 159 00:07:42,794 --> 00:07:44,962 It's 3:30 here. 160 00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:48,265 - What? - It's a good thing. 161 00:07:48,299 --> 00:07:50,934 It means you got past the first round. 162 00:07:50,969 --> 00:07:52,803 Yeah. No, no, no. I know that. 163 00:07:52,837 --> 00:07:55,172 But, um, I never applied for MIT. 164 00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:58,608 Yeah, you did. Also Carnegie Mellon, 165 00:07:58,643 --> 00:08:02,045 Northwestern, Columbia, Stanford, and Penn. 166 00:08:02,079 --> 00:08:03,479 Come on, I can't be late today. 167 00:08:03,514 --> 00:08:05,148 Whoa, wait. Hang on. 168 00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:06,783 You applied to all those schools for me? 169 00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:10,286 A few fallbacks, too, just in case. 170 00:08:10,321 --> 00:08:11,955 No, no. Wait. 171 00:08:11,989 --> 00:08:13,891 This is perfect. Where did you get this? 172 00:08:13,925 --> 00:08:15,993 I used to do the sexy librarian thing-- 173 00:08:16,027 --> 00:08:17,561 glasses, hair bun, the whole bit. 174 00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:20,965 But you need hose. Those offices pump in the AC. 175 00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:23,867 Oh, nah. I'm warm-blooded. I'll be good. 176 00:08:23,902 --> 00:08:26,036 Kev, do guys get PMS? 177 00:08:26,071 --> 00:08:29,406 Are you asking me if I bleed from my nuts once a month? 178 00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:30,908 I'm asking if guys get their own version of-- 179 00:08:30,942 --> 00:08:32,677 I don't know, hormonal bullshit. 180 00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:34,511 - Nope. - Yes, he does. 181 00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:35,913 - Do not. - Remember when you broke 182 00:08:35,947 --> 00:08:37,982 the TV remote last month for no good reason? 183 00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:39,716 It wouldn't fucking work. That's a good reason. 184 00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:41,752 We get weepy. They get angry. 185 00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,520 Jimmy doesn't seem angry exactly. 186 00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:46,557 - He seems quiet. - Oh, God. Stop. 187 00:08:46,591 --> 00:08:47,992 Would you stop right there? 188 00:08:48,026 --> 00:08:50,161 We get quiet for one minute, and you guys 189 00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:52,163 think that we're obsessing about the relationship. 190 00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:53,498 And all we're thinking is, "I wonder if 191 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:54,999 there's any more cheese." 192 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,367 You mean we make you smarter than you are? 193 00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:57,935 No, no, no. 194 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,771 You make us more interested in you than we are. 195 00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,739 Oh, don't mind him. 196 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,441 He's just mad 'cause somebody cut off the tip of his penis 197 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,043 when he was too young to defend himself. 198 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,612 V, don't start that shit! 199 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:08,347 What are we talking about? 200 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,550 Whether or not to circumcise our baby. 201 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,686 - Are you-- wait. Is your mom-- - No, no one's pregnant. 202 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,188 And if somebody were pregnant, 203 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,722 it still may not even be a boy. 204 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,024 - But if it is a boy-- - If it is a boy, 205 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,592 you gotta circumcise. 206 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,393 I mean, have you ever seen one that's uncut? 207 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,895 You don't know what's going on up in there. 208 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:24,763 It does not make you want to go downtown. 209 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,632 And you want your kid to get his share of head, right? 210 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,934 Thank you! 211 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,208 Or not? Crap. Sorry. 212 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,811 Thanks for the suit. Gotta go. 213 00:09:37,846 --> 00:09:41,115 Bye. Love you. Okay. 214 00:09:41,149 --> 00:09:43,151 [Door shuts] 215 00:09:43,185 --> 00:09:45,186 [Knock at door] 216 00:09:47,989 --> 00:09:49,590 - Morning. - Morning, Jody. 217 00:09:49,624 --> 00:09:51,726 Fiona said you guys were gonna watch Liam today? 218 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,160 Uh, I gotta work. 219 00:09:53,195 --> 00:09:55,496 But it'll be good for Sheila to watch him. 220 00:09:55,530 --> 00:09:58,132 Sheila, Debbie's here. 221 00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:01,335 I gotta go, babe. Sit up. 222 00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:03,271 Sitting up's a real good start. 223 00:10:03,305 --> 00:10:06,474 I, uh-- I gotta go. 224 00:10:08,978 --> 00:10:11,947 Sheila, are you okay? 225 00:10:11,981 --> 00:10:14,950 I'm fine. 226 00:10:14,984 --> 00:10:18,520 Of course, I'm-- I'm fine. 227 00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:22,691 Fiona said you were gonna watch Liam today. 228 00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:25,794 Yes, that's fine. 229 00:10:25,828 --> 00:10:28,630 It'll be nice to have a baby. 230 00:10:28,664 --> 00:10:31,666 Good morning, mom. 231 00:10:37,072 --> 00:10:38,673 [Sighs] 232 00:10:38,707 --> 00:10:41,176 - Hi, Karen. - Hey. 233 00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:49,884 Have you had any breakfast? 234 00:10:49,918 --> 00:10:52,487 [Sobbing] 235 00:11:02,064 --> 00:11:05,400 - [Snaps fingers] - Yo, chief. 236 00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:06,735 I asked for a bone-dry cappuccino. 237 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:09,205 This isn't bone-dry. 238 00:11:09,239 --> 00:11:10,873 Oh, so you're talking about, like, 239 00:11:10,907 --> 00:11:12,408 the kind of bone that's been left out in the sun? 240 00:11:12,442 --> 00:11:14,711 'Cause living bones are 35% water, 241 00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:15,979 and they bleed when you break them. 242 00:11:16,013 --> 00:11:17,380 Are you freaking kidding me? 243 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:18,748 No, not you, man. Sorry. 244 00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:21,151 Coffee shop boy is giving me lip. Hang on. 245 00:11:21,186 --> 00:11:23,821 Dude, when I spend as much for a cup of coffee 246 00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:26,157 as a gallon of gas, I get it how I want it. 247 00:11:26,191 --> 00:11:31,929 Remake it bone-dry, dirt-dry, fucking desert-dry, okay? 248 00:11:31,964 --> 00:11:33,765 - Do it now! - Very sorry, sir. 249 00:11:33,799 --> 00:11:35,333 We'll take care of that right away. 250 00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:38,069 Just do it. 251 00:11:43,476 --> 00:11:45,276 I don't understand. You really don't get 252 00:11:45,310 --> 00:11:46,678 - why I have a problem with this? - No. 253 00:11:46,712 --> 00:11:48,213 - Really? - No! 254 00:11:48,247 --> 00:11:49,347 Ian, do you get why I have a problem with this? 255 00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:50,749 Not getting in the middle. 256 00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:52,350 Why are you being such a dick about this? 257 00:11:52,385 --> 00:11:54,352 Those applications are 90 pages long. 258 00:11:54,386 --> 00:11:56,454 It took me forever to fill them out. 259 00:11:56,489 --> 00:12:02,394 Walk the fuck away. 260 00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:04,597 - Wow. You're-- - What? I'm what? 261 00:12:04,631 --> 00:12:06,398 You're not my mother. 262 00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:07,933 You're not in charge of who I talk to 263 00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:09,936 or who has a picture of me on Facebook. 264 00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,571 And you're sure as shit not in charge 265 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:14,974 of if I go to college! 266 00:12:15,008 --> 00:12:17,076 You think he's right? 267 00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:18,210 Men are never right. 268 00:12:18,245 --> 00:12:19,645 That's why women were invented, 269 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,380 to think for you assholes. 270 00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:24,617 I mean, look at Mickey, marrying some whore he knocked up. 271 00:12:24,651 --> 00:12:26,152 What? 272 00:12:26,186 --> 00:12:27,820 Men are weak and stupid, even the good ones. 273 00:12:27,854 --> 00:12:29,422 I mean, especially the good ones. 274 00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:31,123 And I'm not gonna watch Lip fuck up his life 275 00:12:31,157 --> 00:12:33,059 the way that Mickey's fucking up his. 276 00:12:33,093 --> 00:12:36,095 [School bell chimes] 277 00:12:42,938 --> 00:12:48,509 Hey, Sheila, I made you some cinnamon toast and coffee. 278 00:12:48,544 --> 00:12:49,944 Cinnamon toast and coffee always makes me 279 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:52,947 feel a little better when I'm down. 280 00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:57,318 It's just, you have to sit up to eat it. 281 00:12:57,352 --> 00:12:59,921 - [Sobs] - Come on, Sheila. 282 00:12:59,955 --> 00:13:02,923 Sit up. You'll feel better, I promise. 283 00:13:14,235 --> 00:13:17,204 [Sobs] 284 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:26,547 You the temp? 285 00:13:26,581 --> 00:13:28,816 Yeah, hi. Yes. Fiona Gallagher. 286 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,551 Nice to meet you, Fiona. I'm Connie. 287 00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:32,219 We're all on a first-name basis here. 288 00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:34,555 It's a family-run company, real friendly place. 289 00:13:34,589 --> 00:13:37,691 - Okay, great. Thanks. - Follow me. 290 00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:39,359 You'll be covering for Maria. 291 00:13:39,393 --> 00:13:41,492 She's a cold caller in our marketing department. 292 00:13:41,527 --> 00:13:43,393 And last week, Friday, she was having cramps, 293 00:13:43,428 --> 00:13:44,995 but it wasn't her time of the month. 294 00:13:45,029 --> 00:13:47,330 And I told her not to ignore it, but did she listen? 295 00:13:47,364 --> 00:13:50,466 Appendicitis. She barely made it there in time. 296 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:53,135 Honest, it was about to burst. And then who knows? 297 00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:54,703 - Wow, that's-- - Yeah, so, if you're 298 00:13:54,737 --> 00:13:56,204 having cramps on your left side, 299 00:13:56,238 --> 00:13:57,872 and it's not your time of the month, 300 00:13:57,906 --> 00:14:00,407 you shouldn't ignore it, or you could very well die. 301 00:14:00,441 --> 00:14:02,208 - That's good to know. - Isn't it? 302 00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:04,376 You can drop your bag there, and I'll show you around. 303 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,977 - Okay. - That's the copy room, 304 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,879 the warehouse, the kitchen, treadmill, water cooler. 305 00:14:08,913 --> 00:14:11,215 That's the fridge. Anything with a label on it 306 00:14:11,249 --> 00:14:13,080 belongs to somebody else, except for the yogurts. 307 00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:14,876 Margie never labels them because everyone 308 00:14:14,911 --> 00:14:16,477 just knows she's always on a diet. 309 00:14:16,511 --> 00:14:17,711 So if you know what's good for you-- 310 00:14:17,746 --> 00:14:19,346 Stay away from the yogurt. Got it. 311 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,381 But the donuts on the table are fair game. 312 00:14:21,415 --> 00:14:23,049 Fair game as in free? 313 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:24,650 We all take turns buying a box. 314 00:14:24,684 --> 00:14:26,151 But you're a temp, so you can just have one. 315 00:14:26,185 --> 00:14:28,352 That's the bathroom, women's room. 316 00:14:28,386 --> 00:14:29,719 Once you get settled in, 317 00:14:29,754 --> 00:14:31,520 you'll be making calls from this list. 318 00:14:31,555 --> 00:14:33,088 And you'll read from this script. 319 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,589 It's real simple. You'll start here. 320 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,557 And if they say this, you say this. 321 00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:38,657 If they say this, you say this. 322 00:14:38,691 --> 00:14:40,058 You get the idea? 323 00:14:40,092 --> 00:14:41,159 You're calling customers who haven't 324 00:14:41,193 --> 00:14:42,560 placed an order for a while. 325 00:14:42,594 --> 00:14:44,028 So if you get a bite, you transfer them 326 00:14:44,062 --> 00:14:45,929 straight away to sales by pressing this button. 327 00:14:45,963 --> 00:14:48,832 They'll close the deal. 328 00:14:48,866 --> 00:14:54,704 So, uh, I'm the fluffer and they're the happy ending? 329 00:14:54,738 --> 00:14:56,538 I'm sorry, uh-- 330 00:14:56,573 --> 00:14:58,440 I have a lot of brothers. 331 00:14:58,474 --> 00:15:00,408 All right. 332 00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:04,746 I'll be over there, if you have any questions. 333 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:07,881 [Sighs] 334 00:15:07,916 --> 00:15:10,450 What do you mean, living together for a year? 335 00:15:10,485 --> 00:15:12,352 What kind of a rule is that? 336 00:15:12,386 --> 00:15:13,953 We call that rule a law. 337 00:15:13,987 --> 00:15:16,388 Well, it just so happens, I was mistaken. 338 00:15:16,423 --> 00:15:18,390 Christopher and I have been living together 339 00:15:18,425 --> 00:15:20,058 for a year, well over a year. 340 00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:21,793 Sir, if you just let me explain-- 341 00:15:21,827 --> 00:15:24,128 And just because my name isn't on the utility bill, 342 00:15:24,162 --> 00:15:27,598 that is no reason to deny me my basic civil rights. 343 00:15:27,632 --> 00:15:29,199 Sir, I'm just trying to explain to you what we have-- 344 00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:32,234 My partner has been working hard killing dogs 345 00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:34,403 for this city for close to a decade. 346 00:15:34,437 --> 00:15:36,638 - You kill dogs? - Animal control. 347 00:15:36,672 --> 00:15:38,373 I know my rights. 348 00:15:38,407 --> 00:15:41,609 Sir, I cannot award you domestic partnership status 349 00:15:41,643 --> 00:15:44,978 unless you have proof that you are and have been 350 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:49,082 financially and emotionally interdependent partners 351 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,583 for over a year. 352 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,284 Joint tenancy documents verifying-- 353 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,720 - I know my rights. 354 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,823 Do you not understand that I get 150 of you people 355 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,925 in here a day spouting this same shit at me? 356 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,060 "You people"? What can that mean, "you people"? 357 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,994 - Oh, no, we're not like that. - You're not like what? 358 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,430 We are not the kind of people you can push around 359 00:16:06,464 --> 00:16:09,432 with your homophobic rhetoric. 360 00:16:09,466 --> 00:16:11,567 Where are you going? I'm still talking! 361 00:16:11,602 --> 00:16:13,269 I'm going on break. 362 00:16:13,303 --> 00:16:15,771 That's my civil right! 363 00:16:15,806 --> 00:16:18,274 Fucking-- let's go. 364 00:16:18,308 --> 00:16:20,910 Hi, this is Fiona from Worldwide Cup. 365 00:16:20,944 --> 00:16:23,312 We've noticed that you haven't renewed your order in a while. 366 00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:24,680 And I was wondering if I could transfer you 367 00:16:24,714 --> 00:16:27,949 to our sales dep-- 368 00:16:27,983 --> 00:16:29,984 Oh, no? Huh. 369 00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:33,121 Well, that's really shitty. 370 00:16:33,155 --> 00:16:34,756 Yeah, no, I get it. 371 00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:37,258 I had a mailman at home like that, a real seedy dude. 372 00:16:37,292 --> 00:16:38,593 It looked like he was casing the joint 373 00:16:38,627 --> 00:16:40,027 every time he dropped off a package. 374 00:16:40,062 --> 00:16:42,363 I got so fed up, that I called the post office 375 00:16:42,397 --> 00:16:43,964 and, you know, I had them take him off my route. 376 00:16:43,998 --> 00:16:46,667 Now we have this great lady, Josephine, really nice. 377 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,102 I bet if you call and complain, they'll switch him out for you. 378 00:16:49,137 --> 00:16:51,272 But either way, they'll want to hear about it. 379 00:16:51,306 --> 00:16:55,109 Great. Yes, I will transfer you now. 380 00:16:55,143 --> 00:16:57,345 Good luck. 381 00:16:57,379 --> 00:17:00,114 [Clears throat] 382 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,884 Hey. They had a rude delivery guy, so I-- 383 00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:07,022 I heard. It's just-- if they say this, you say this. 384 00:17:07,056 --> 00:17:09,324 If they say this, you say this. 385 00:17:09,358 --> 00:17:11,125 - You stick to the script. - I got it. 386 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,361 Sorry. It won't happen again. 387 00:17:13,395 --> 00:17:15,630 Okay. 388 00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:19,066 [Cell phone ringing] 389 00:17:21,737 --> 00:17:25,239 Hello? 390 00:17:25,273 --> 00:17:29,143 What? 391 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:32,647 Oh, yes, Debbie is home sick from school today. 392 00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:35,083 Thank you. 393 00:17:37,086 --> 00:17:38,753 [Sighs] 394 00:17:38,788 --> 00:17:40,222 Are you ready? 395 00:17:40,256 --> 00:17:41,559 Yeah, I'm just not into this setup. 396 00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,227 - I look weak. - It's gimp porn, babe. 397 00:17:43,261 --> 00:17:44,662 You're supposed to look weak. 398 00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,063 Am I also supposed to look fat? 399 00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,899 Jeez, you sound like a woman. 400 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,335 Maybe it's because someone cut off part of your manhood 401 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,770 when you were too young to defend yourself. 402 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,671 I just don't want to do the gimp thing. 403 00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,374 Do you know how expensive a kid is, Kev? 404 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,742 Sack it up. 405 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,744 [Phone ringing] 406 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,112 Hey, Fi. 407 00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,180 Hey, can you pop over to the house 408 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,615 and see if Debbie's there? 409 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,016 I don't know if she's really sick 410 00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:05,385 or if she's skipping or what. 411 00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:06,753 All right, I'll go check on her. 412 00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:09,756 But you have to go to www.dontcutitoff.org 413 00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:11,697 - What? - I'm serious, Fiona. 414 00:18:11,732 --> 00:18:13,735 Go to that website and see if you stand by your 415 00:18:13,769 --> 00:18:16,304 "I want my son to get his share of head" argument. 416 00:18:16,338 --> 00:18:18,206 Do not do it, Fiona. 417 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,910 dontcutitoff.org, promise. Promise! 418 00:18:21,944 --> 00:18:25,547 - Okay. Okay, okay. I'll do it. - All right, bye. 419 00:18:25,581 --> 00:18:27,649 [Sighs] 420 00:18:27,684 --> 00:18:30,653 [Rock music] 421 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,802 _ 422 00:18:38,631 --> 00:18:41,767 [Gasps] Oh, Jesus. 423 00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:47,172 Oh. 424 00:18:49,376 --> 00:18:51,377 [Shudders] 425 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:57,483 Hi, this is Fiona from Worldwide Cup. 426 00:18:57,517 --> 00:19:00,419 Vote Paul Lashmet for a better Chicago. 427 00:19:00,454 --> 00:19:01,954 Hope I can count on your vote. 428 00:19:01,989 --> 00:19:03,189 Nice to meet you. 429 00:19:03,223 --> 00:19:05,258 [Baby cries] 430 00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:07,760 Can't you shut the baby up? 431 00:19:07,795 --> 00:19:09,462 I could shove her up your ass and see if that does it. 432 00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,197 You need to learn respect for your elders. 433 00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:13,934 You need to learn to not be a total dickwad. 434 00:19:13,968 --> 00:19:17,270 I have a plan to put Chicago back to work. 435 00:19:17,305 --> 00:19:19,606 Hey. Hey. Over here. 436 00:19:19,641 --> 00:19:22,343 I know you can hear me, Mr. Give-Me-Your-Vote! 437 00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:24,545 You want to know what's wrong with this city? 438 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,280 You want to know what doesn't work? 439 00:19:26,315 --> 00:19:28,783 My wife and I got married after three weeks of dating, 440 00:19:28,817 --> 00:19:32,119 and she turned out to be a bipolar drug addict-- easy-- 441 00:19:32,153 --> 00:19:35,622 who left me alone with six kids to raise, 442 00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:37,291 while my domestic partner, 443 00:19:37,325 --> 00:19:41,194 Mr. Christopher Collier, is a clean and sober, 444 00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:43,897 hardworking citizen of this country. 445 00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:46,165 I think he deserves the same rights 446 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,300 as a woman who would abandon her children. 447 00:19:48,335 --> 00:19:50,736 Thank you, sir. And I will consider your situation. 448 00:19:50,771 --> 00:19:52,571 Don't you turn your back on me. 449 00:19:52,606 --> 00:19:54,740 - Oh, don't you worry. - I'm a citizen of this country. 450 00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:56,408 I live in this city. 451 00:19:56,443 --> 00:19:59,011 My partner works for this city. 452 00:19:59,045 --> 00:20:00,646 But because we're not married, 453 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,382 which the law doesn't even allow, I might add, 454 00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:06,251 I am not allowed to share in his insurance benefits. 455 00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:08,487 Which means for me, it's stand in the line 456 00:20:08,522 --> 00:20:10,055 at the free clinic or suffer. 457 00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:13,358 That's not only unfair and unchristian, 458 00:20:13,393 --> 00:20:15,393 it's flat out un-American. 459 00:20:15,428 --> 00:20:16,995 I'm a citizen. 460 00:20:17,029 --> 00:20:19,398 Where are my equal rights? 461 00:20:19,432 --> 00:20:22,867 Fix that, Mr. I-Want-To-Be-Mayor. 462 00:20:26,372 --> 00:20:27,539 Fuck. 463 00:20:27,573 --> 00:20:28,573 Thank you so much. 464 00:20:28,607 --> 00:20:29,841 I'll transfer you now. 465 00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:32,543 [Cell phone chimes] 466 00:20:32,578 --> 00:20:34,345 [Sighs] _ 467 00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:40,018 I like this color. 468 00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:44,189 Kind of cheers you up just looking at it, right? 469 00:20:44,223 --> 00:20:46,424 It does. 470 00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:48,626 Sometimes when you're feeling really bad, 471 00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:50,594 if you make yourself look better on the outside, 472 00:20:50,629 --> 00:20:52,597 it can start to make you feel better on the inside. 473 00:20:52,631 --> 00:20:55,966 My mom calls it, "taking it from the outside in." 474 00:20:56,001 --> 00:20:57,201 [Phone ringing] 475 00:20:57,235 --> 00:20:59,236 [Mumbles] 476 00:21:03,674 --> 00:21:07,277 [Phone ringing] 477 00:21:07,312 --> 00:21:09,079 Jackson residence. 478 00:21:09,114 --> 00:21:11,381 Debbie, you were just supposed to drop Liam there. 479 00:21:11,416 --> 00:21:13,050 Why aren't you at school? Are you sick? 480 00:21:13,084 --> 00:21:14,718 Uh, code pink. 481 00:21:14,753 --> 00:21:18,289 - Monica's home? - No, no, no. 482 00:21:18,323 --> 00:21:20,057 Code pink at Sheila's. 483 00:21:20,091 --> 00:21:22,760 - I'll explain later, okay? - Fine, explain later. 484 00:21:22,794 --> 00:21:25,496 But you're in big trouble. 485 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:27,531 [Sighs] 486 00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:35,438 What's a code pink? 487 00:21:35,472 --> 00:21:37,006 It's nothing. 488 00:21:37,041 --> 00:21:39,342 I was just trying to explain to Fiona 489 00:21:39,376 --> 00:21:40,643 why I'm not at school. 490 00:21:40,678 --> 00:21:43,279 It's like a code word we have. 491 00:21:43,314 --> 00:21:47,617 Oh, no. What time is it? 492 00:21:47,652 --> 00:21:49,920 Are you skipping school because of me? 493 00:21:49,954 --> 00:21:52,089 I didn't want to go anyway. 494 00:21:52,123 --> 00:21:54,491 All anyone ever does is try to copy off me. 495 00:21:54,525 --> 00:21:56,760 But no one wants to sit with me at lunch. 496 00:21:56,795 --> 00:21:59,630 Everybody's mean. Middle school's stupid. 497 00:21:59,664 --> 00:22:02,633 Mean girls suck. 498 00:22:05,036 --> 00:22:07,772 My daughter's a mean girl. 499 00:22:07,806 --> 00:22:10,775 I don't know how it happened. 500 00:22:11,977 --> 00:22:13,678 It's not your fault. 501 00:22:13,713 --> 00:22:16,515 But I'm her mother. 502 00:22:16,550 --> 00:22:19,552 If how we turn out is all about how our mother is, 503 00:22:19,586 --> 00:22:22,722 then I'm pretty screwed, right? 504 00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:34,568 [Both moaning] 505 00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,973 [Laughing] 506 00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:42,876 - What's funny? - It's just-- 507 00:22:42,911 --> 00:22:45,078 she applied to colleges for you. 508 00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:47,380 Wow, I'm so glad my cock thrust up inside of you 509 00:22:47,414 --> 00:22:49,983 is holding your attention so well. 510 00:22:50,017 --> 00:22:51,250 That's really nice for me. 511 00:22:51,285 --> 00:22:54,053 Sorry, I just-- I don't get it. 512 00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:57,323 Why don't you just dump her? 513 00:22:57,357 --> 00:22:59,725 Less talking, more riding. 514 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,262 [Both moaning] 515 00:23:08,869 --> 00:23:11,270 Is Mickey seriously getting married? 516 00:23:11,304 --> 00:23:13,773 Yeah. Like, in a couple of weeks. 517 00:23:13,807 --> 00:23:15,574 Jesus. To who? 518 00:23:15,609 --> 00:23:17,843 I-I didn't even know he was seeing anyone. 519 00:23:17,877 --> 00:23:19,711 Well, I don't think he was seeing her 520 00:23:19,746 --> 00:23:22,614 so much as he was doing her. 521 00:23:22,648 --> 00:23:25,017 - So why's he marrying her? - She's knocked up. 522 00:23:25,051 --> 00:23:27,253 So? I don't get it. 523 00:23:27,287 --> 00:23:28,787 What, is your dad making him? 524 00:23:28,822 --> 00:23:30,122 I don't know. 525 00:23:30,156 --> 00:23:31,823 Why do you give a shit? 526 00:23:37,797 --> 00:23:40,766 [Indistinct chatter] 527 00:23:50,109 --> 00:23:52,978 [Sighs] 528 00:23:53,013 --> 00:23:55,047 Don't you turn your back on me. 529 00:23:55,081 --> 00:23:57,283 I'm a citizen of this country. 530 00:23:57,317 --> 00:23:59,218 My partner works for this city. 531 00:23:59,253 --> 00:24:01,320 But because we're not married, 532 00:24:01,355 --> 00:24:04,124 which the law doesn't even allow, I might add, 533 00:24:04,158 --> 00:24:06,993 I am not allowed to share in his insurance benefits, 534 00:24:07,027 --> 00:24:09,162 which means for me, it's stand in line 535 00:24:09,196 --> 00:24:10,730 at the free clinic or suffer. 536 00:24:10,765 --> 00:24:13,600 That's not only unfair and unchristian... 537 00:24:13,634 --> 00:24:15,135 - Holy shit. - It's flat out un-American. 538 00:24:15,169 --> 00:24:17,504 - Frank? - You know him? 539 00:24:17,538 --> 00:24:19,505 Where are my equal rights? 540 00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:23,276 You could say that. He's my dad. 541 00:24:23,311 --> 00:24:27,080 I-- wow, that speech. 542 00:24:27,114 --> 00:24:31,117 Your father-- I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. 543 00:24:31,151 --> 00:24:32,685 Oh, my God, I wish I could turn back time. 544 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,654 Turn back time? Why? 545 00:24:34,688 --> 00:24:36,757 Some of the office bitches may have narc-ed on you 546 00:24:36,791 --> 00:24:39,192 about the porn at your desk and the personal phone calls. 547 00:24:39,227 --> 00:24:42,096 And by office bitches, I might mean myself. 548 00:24:42,130 --> 00:24:44,699 Porn at my desk? 549 00:24:46,168 --> 00:24:48,035 Oh, shit. 550 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,503 Fiona. Hi. 551 00:24:49,537 --> 00:24:51,705 So Mr. Pratt is asking for a word with you. 552 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:53,507 - Let me guess. He's the boss? - No, no. 553 00:24:53,541 --> 00:24:55,042 He's one of the cousins. 554 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:57,811 Not the big boss, but he is a supervisor, yes. 555 00:24:57,845 --> 00:25:00,146 Really, very sorry. 556 00:25:02,350 --> 00:25:05,018 [Knock at door] Yes? 557 00:25:05,052 --> 00:25:08,121 Hi. Fiona Gallagher. 558 00:25:08,155 --> 00:25:09,556 The temp? 559 00:25:09,590 --> 00:25:11,725 Oh, Fiona, yeah. 560 00:25:11,759 --> 00:25:14,761 Um, go ahead and have a seat. 561 00:25:16,330 --> 00:25:18,966 Go ahead, sorry. 562 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,003 So I've had some complaints about your language, 563 00:25:23,038 --> 00:25:24,839 a few personal calls on company time-- 564 00:25:24,873 --> 00:25:26,341 - I have five kids. 565 00:25:26,375 --> 00:25:28,042 They're my siblings, but I raise them. 566 00:25:28,077 --> 00:25:29,544 And one of them skipped school. 567 00:25:29,578 --> 00:25:31,012 So I'm sorry about the personal calls, 568 00:25:31,046 --> 00:25:32,681 but it was really only a couple minutes. 569 00:25:32,715 --> 00:25:34,082 And I'm happy to clock out early and work late. 570 00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:35,851 Oh, no. You don't have to do that. 571 00:25:35,885 --> 00:25:37,219 There were some photos. 572 00:25:37,253 --> 00:25:39,054 Yeah, the porn at my desk? 573 00:25:39,088 --> 00:25:40,555 It wasn't really porn. 574 00:25:40,589 --> 00:25:42,157 It was pictures of penises, 575 00:25:42,191 --> 00:25:43,691 but it was from a circumcision website. 576 00:25:43,725 --> 00:25:45,859 See, friends of mine are trying for a baby. 577 00:25:45,894 --> 00:25:47,561 And I had said a thing about how they should 578 00:25:47,595 --> 00:25:49,596 circumcise the baby so that girls will be more likely 579 00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:53,033 to want to-- uh, with their mouths. 580 00:25:53,067 --> 00:25:54,935 Not on the baby, of course. 581 00:25:54,969 --> 00:25:57,838 I mean once he's a grown-up. 582 00:25:57,873 --> 00:25:59,273 Shit. 583 00:25:59,307 --> 00:26:01,175 Am I fired? 584 00:26:01,210 --> 00:26:04,345 No, you're-- [Clears throat] Sorry. 585 00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:07,048 My silence here is not so much about disapproval 586 00:26:07,082 --> 00:26:08,349 as it is trying to find a way 587 00:26:08,384 --> 00:26:09,951 to participate in this conversation 588 00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,753 that won't leave me vulnerable to a lawsuit, 589 00:26:11,787 --> 00:26:15,290 'cause I would like to say that I am a little shocked 590 00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:20,028 to learn that, um, circumcision, or a lack thereof, 591 00:26:20,062 --> 00:26:22,897 would affect a woman's willingness to-- 592 00:26:22,931 --> 00:26:24,398 [Clears throat] 593 00:26:24,433 --> 00:26:25,566 I can't say that. 594 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,902 I can't say anything, really. 595 00:26:27,936 --> 00:26:30,705 I've said too much already. 596 00:26:30,739 --> 00:26:32,140 I'm so sorry. Please don't sue me. 597 00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:34,042 I'm so sorry. Please don't fire me. 598 00:26:34,076 --> 00:26:35,877 Deal. But, hey, I'm putting my foot down. 599 00:26:35,912 --> 00:26:38,280 No more naked body parts at your desk for any reason. 600 00:26:38,314 --> 00:26:39,981 [Both laugh] Shit. Sorry. 601 00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:41,817 And watch your language, like you're in church. 602 00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:43,786 - Got it. - And also, 603 00:26:43,821 --> 00:26:45,288 you're doing a great job. 604 00:26:45,322 --> 00:26:47,623 [Scoffs] I'm what? 605 00:26:47,658 --> 00:26:49,092 I got a call from one of our sales reps. 606 00:26:49,126 --> 00:26:50,794 You apparently convinced a high-volume customer 607 00:26:50,828 --> 00:26:53,129 that we thought we'd lost to re-up. 608 00:26:53,164 --> 00:26:55,732 Something about a delivery man? 609 00:26:55,767 --> 00:26:57,667 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 610 00:26:57,701 --> 00:27:00,937 Well, anyway, great work. And keep it up. 611 00:27:04,342 --> 00:27:06,609 Do me a favor. Don't go out there smiling. 612 00:27:06,644 --> 00:27:09,512 You'll help me maintain that reputation as a hard-ass. 613 00:27:09,547 --> 00:27:11,914 You have a reputation as a hard-ass? 614 00:27:11,949 --> 00:27:13,416 No. 615 00:27:13,450 --> 00:27:14,617 I really want one, though. 616 00:27:14,651 --> 00:27:17,653 [Laughs] Hey. Mm-mm. 617 00:27:31,041 --> 00:27:32,916 _ 618 00:27:32,969 --> 00:27:35,605 - What's this? - Payday. 619 00:27:35,639 --> 00:27:38,307 Oh, sweet! 620 00:27:38,342 --> 00:27:40,844 It's $218. 621 00:27:40,878 --> 00:27:43,847 I worked 40 hours at $10 an hour. 622 00:27:43,882 --> 00:27:45,783 That's $400. 623 00:27:45,817 --> 00:27:47,284 Yeah, minus taxes. 624 00:27:47,319 --> 00:27:48,953 Oh, and minus the free refills 625 00:27:48,987 --> 00:27:50,688 you've been giving your little boyfriend over there. 626 00:27:50,722 --> 00:27:53,891 My what? No, that's my-- I barely know him. 627 00:27:53,925 --> 00:27:55,626 He's here when you're here and he's not when you're not. 628 00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:57,461 And you give him free refills. 629 00:27:57,495 --> 00:28:00,498 You think I don't see? I see. 630 00:28:05,002 --> 00:28:07,003 Phillip? 631 00:28:07,038 --> 00:28:11,141 Scott Walker, MIT Alumni Rep. 632 00:28:11,175 --> 00:28:12,875 We had an appointment at 3:30. It's nearly 4:00. 633 00:28:12,910 --> 00:28:14,844 Right, yeah. Look, I'm sorry you came and waited, 634 00:28:14,879 --> 00:28:16,813 but I'm not interested. 635 00:28:16,847 --> 00:28:18,915 You're not interested in MIT? 636 00:28:18,949 --> 00:28:20,984 - No. - Oh, that's too bad. 637 00:28:21,018 --> 00:28:22,218 I was really curious to interview the kid 638 00:28:22,253 --> 00:28:24,221 with the 4.6 GPA who so blatantly 639 00:28:24,255 --> 00:28:26,423 plagiarized his application essay. 640 00:28:26,458 --> 00:28:29,427 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. I didn't plagiarize anything. 641 00:28:39,238 --> 00:28:41,705 She plagiarized Nelson Mandela. Jesus. 642 00:28:41,740 --> 00:28:43,173 She? 643 00:28:43,208 --> 00:28:45,943 Yeah, my girlfriend wrote this application. 644 00:28:45,978 --> 00:28:47,745 I'm guessing she Googled "good speeches" and 645 00:28:47,780 --> 00:28:49,914 picked one that sounded smartest to her. 646 00:28:49,948 --> 00:28:51,683 I'm surprised she didn't go with "I have a dream." 647 00:28:51,717 --> 00:28:54,252 Well, you sure you don't want to do the interview? 648 00:28:54,286 --> 00:28:56,021 - I'm already here. - No, thanks. 649 00:28:56,055 --> 00:28:59,058 - I hate Boston. Red Sox suck. - Okay. 650 00:28:59,092 --> 00:29:00,926 It's unlikely you could have gotten in anyway. 651 00:29:00,961 --> 00:29:02,261 [Laughs] 652 00:29:02,295 --> 00:29:04,697 What is that, reverse psychology? 653 00:29:04,732 --> 00:29:06,565 Let me guess, you minored in psych, 654 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,069 thinking it would give you a leg up in business negotiations. 655 00:29:10,103 --> 00:29:12,204 You may have a 4.6, but you also required 656 00:29:12,238 --> 00:29:15,040 a three semester senior year due to truancy. 657 00:29:15,075 --> 00:29:17,409 And competition is pretty intense if you require 658 00:29:17,443 --> 00:29:20,479 a full scholarship, which I'm guessing that you do. 659 00:29:20,513 --> 00:29:21,980 Wow, why don't you just go ahead 660 00:29:22,015 --> 00:29:23,715 and call me white trash while you're at it? 661 00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:25,150 Competition's tougher at this level, that's all. 662 00:29:25,184 --> 00:29:27,719 At this level. Jesus. Give me a fucking pen. 663 00:29:28,422 --> 00:29:30,422 Frank. 664 00:29:31,423 --> 00:29:34,392 Frank. Frank, why? 665 00:29:34,426 --> 00:29:37,795 Why would you? Why? [Sighs] 666 00:29:40,299 --> 00:29:41,900 My coworkers teased me so much 667 00:29:41,935 --> 00:29:43,636 I had to pretend that I was sick. 668 00:29:43,670 --> 00:29:45,337 Then my mother called. 669 00:29:45,372 --> 00:29:47,907 She almost had a cardiac episode she was so upset. 670 00:29:47,941 --> 00:29:50,643 I only convinced her last year that I'm not gay. 671 00:29:50,678 --> 00:29:53,479 It took me years, Frank, years. 672 00:29:53,513 --> 00:29:54,914 Why would you do this? 673 00:29:54,948 --> 00:29:57,249 Why, Frank, why? 674 00:29:57,284 --> 00:29:59,818 The fuck are you talking about? 675 00:29:59,853 --> 00:30:02,954 You told the world we're gay! 676 00:30:02,988 --> 00:30:05,022 It's all over Twitter. 677 00:30:05,057 --> 00:30:06,157 It's all over Facebook. 678 00:30:06,191 --> 00:30:08,259 It was on the 12:00 news. 679 00:30:08,294 --> 00:30:09,627 What? 680 00:30:09,661 --> 00:30:14,699 You're famous for being gay, Frank. 681 00:30:14,734 --> 00:30:17,769 Are you gay? Are you, really? 682 00:30:17,804 --> 00:30:19,604 [Phone ringing] 683 00:30:19,638 --> 00:30:25,110 I am whatever I need to be at the time I need to be it. 684 00:30:25,144 --> 00:30:27,512 Christ, write that down. 685 00:30:27,546 --> 00:30:30,615 Mom. 686 00:30:30,650 --> 00:30:33,118 Yes, mom, I'm talking to him. 687 00:30:33,152 --> 00:30:38,623 No, mom, I am not-- mom. 688 00:30:38,658 --> 00:30:43,962 Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. 689 00:30:43,996 --> 00:30:45,898 Dude, I'm telling you, this is my car. 690 00:30:45,932 --> 00:30:47,733 - It has a kid's seat in it. - I don't give a shit. 691 00:30:47,767 --> 00:30:49,334 Look at that chip right there, man. 692 00:30:49,369 --> 00:30:50,736 That diamond-shaped scratch, I did that the night 693 00:30:50,770 --> 00:30:52,337 we had too many Jaeger bombs. Remember? 694 00:30:52,372 --> 00:30:54,472 Hell, I still got the keys, man. 695 00:30:54,507 --> 00:30:56,341 [Both laugh] 696 00:30:56,376 --> 00:30:58,244 I found my stolen car, bitch. 697 00:30:58,278 --> 00:30:59,878 Well, what are you waiting for? Call the cops. 698 00:30:59,913 --> 00:31:01,580 I wouldn't do that if I were you. Sorry. 699 00:31:01,614 --> 00:31:03,482 Passing by, couldn't help but overhear. 700 00:31:03,516 --> 00:31:04,983 I'd just take it home. 701 00:31:05,017 --> 00:31:06,685 Cops keep it in evidence for, like, a year. 702 00:31:06,719 --> 00:31:08,821 - You're right. - Yeah. 703 00:31:08,855 --> 00:31:10,489 He's right, man. Plus, insurance already covered it, 704 00:31:10,523 --> 00:31:13,526 so this is, like, found money, bitch. 705 00:31:21,536 --> 00:31:23,337 Why is that man driving your car? 706 00:31:23,371 --> 00:31:25,839 - Because it's stolen. - You let him steal it? 707 00:31:25,874 --> 00:31:27,942 No, Beto. I stole it, 708 00:31:27,976 --> 00:31:30,411 back when life was fun and the world had meaning. 709 00:31:30,446 --> 00:31:32,013 You gonna punish me for it? 710 00:31:32,047 --> 00:31:33,748 You want to break another finger? 711 00:31:33,782 --> 00:31:35,016 How about a toe? 712 00:31:35,050 --> 00:31:36,184 Maybe cut off a couple earlobes? 713 00:31:36,218 --> 00:31:37,919 Stick a fork in my eye? 714 00:31:37,953 --> 00:31:40,922 [Rock music] 715 00:31:40,956 --> 00:31:48,896 ♪ ♪ 716 00:31:48,930 --> 00:31:52,700 [Cheers and applause] 717 00:31:52,734 --> 00:31:54,201 Saw you on the news, Frank. 718 00:31:54,236 --> 00:31:56,070 - About time you came out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 719 00:31:56,104 --> 00:31:57,972 Have your fun. Just pour me a goddamn drink. 720 00:31:58,006 --> 00:31:59,407 Don't do it, Kate. We don't need 721 00:31:59,441 --> 00:32:01,309 - his AIDS germs in here. - Screw you, Tommy. 722 00:32:01,343 --> 00:32:03,912 - You wish. - Are you really gay now, Frank? 723 00:32:03,946 --> 00:32:06,248 What is gay, Kermit? Gay is a state of mind. 724 00:32:06,282 --> 00:32:07,916 It is a mood. 725 00:32:07,950 --> 00:32:09,718 Gay is when you part the ass cheeks of another man 726 00:32:09,752 --> 00:32:11,487 and use your dick as a divining rod. 727 00:32:11,521 --> 00:32:14,056 Well, by that definition, no, then I'm not gay. 728 00:32:14,090 --> 00:32:15,758 Then what are you doing going on the news, 729 00:32:15,792 --> 00:32:17,460 talking about gay rights? 730 00:32:17,494 --> 00:32:19,328 I was trying to get insurance coverage. 731 00:32:19,362 --> 00:32:21,764 Hey, Frank, how do you fit three homos on a barstool? 732 00:32:21,798 --> 00:32:23,332 You turn it upside down! 733 00:32:23,367 --> 00:32:25,101 [Laughter] 734 00:32:25,135 --> 00:32:27,470 Kate, I leave it to you to rise above 735 00:32:27,504 --> 00:32:28,938 this homophobic rhetoric 736 00:32:28,972 --> 00:32:31,474 and offer me recompense in the form of whiskey. 737 00:32:31,508 --> 00:32:33,475 It's only homophobia when they're afraid of you. 738 00:32:33,510 --> 00:32:34,810 I'm pretty sure they just don't like you. 739 00:32:34,845 --> 00:32:36,312 Come on, just give me a drink anyway-- 740 00:32:36,346 --> 00:32:38,147 - You maxed out your tab, Frank. - Hey. 741 00:32:38,181 --> 00:32:41,751 What does one gay say to another one going on vacation? 742 00:32:41,785 --> 00:32:43,252 "Can I help you pack your shit?" 743 00:32:43,286 --> 00:32:44,987 [Laughter] 744 00:32:45,021 --> 00:32:47,022 Kermit, that joke is so hackneyed, you owe me a drink. 745 00:32:47,056 --> 00:32:49,658 What's the difference between a refrigerator and a fag? 746 00:32:49,692 --> 00:32:51,994 The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out! 747 00:32:52,028 --> 00:32:54,763 [Laughter] 748 00:32:54,797 --> 00:32:57,766 All: Oh, no. 749 00:33:09,412 --> 00:33:11,680 [Clears throat] 750 00:33:14,051 --> 00:33:17,220 Your insipid essay question asks me to tell you 751 00:33:17,254 --> 00:33:21,124 in 250 words about my most significant challenge in life. 752 00:33:21,158 --> 00:33:22,558 Honestly, it's hard to pick one. 753 00:33:22,593 --> 00:33:24,160 My guess is that you want to hear about 754 00:33:24,195 --> 00:33:26,463 my alcoholic father and my runaway mom or maybe about-- 755 00:33:26,498 --> 00:33:28,165 You would eat that shit up. 756 00:33:28,199 --> 00:33:31,635 But those aren't my greatest challenges in life. 757 00:33:34,499 --> 00:33:37,163 An education system that pretends to be a meritocracy-- 758 00:33:51,087 --> 00:33:53,555 What would you want to study at MIT? 759 00:33:53,590 --> 00:33:56,425 Provided you could get past my well-meaning oblivion 760 00:33:56,459 --> 00:34:01,263 and the proximity of the Red Sox. 761 00:34:01,298 --> 00:34:02,899 Robotics. 762 00:34:02,933 --> 00:34:06,569 But none of that undergrad filler bullshit. 763 00:34:06,603 --> 00:34:09,205 No 200-seat lectures taught by TAS. 764 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:10,940 I just want the shit out in front of me. 765 00:34:10,974 --> 00:34:12,741 The shit? 766 00:34:12,776 --> 00:34:14,577 Yeah, the tools, you know, the toys, 767 00:34:14,611 --> 00:34:17,179 the stuff I can't get access to in my ghetto high school. 768 00:34:17,214 --> 00:34:19,048 Why? 769 00:34:19,082 --> 00:34:23,051 Because I'd like to hang out with C-3PO in my lifetime. 770 00:34:23,085 --> 00:34:25,787 And at the rate you're going, that shit's not gonna happen. 771 00:34:25,821 --> 00:34:27,122 I'm not following. 772 00:34:27,156 --> 00:34:28,390 You don't want to go to classes, 773 00:34:28,424 --> 00:34:30,358 you just want to play in a lab? 774 00:34:30,393 --> 00:34:32,260 I don't want to sit in a lecture that teaches me 775 00:34:32,295 --> 00:34:36,431 how to modify algorithms instead of think for myself. 776 00:34:43,772 --> 00:34:45,740 And? 777 00:34:48,310 --> 00:34:51,212 Okay, the people working the weaving machines 778 00:34:51,246 --> 00:34:53,647 in the 17th century, you know, 779 00:34:53,682 --> 00:34:55,582 they didn't see the steam engine coming. 780 00:34:55,616 --> 00:35:00,086 One invention. Industrial revolution. 781 00:35:00,121 --> 00:35:02,989 I mean, Encyclopedia Britannica didn't see Wikipedia coming. 782 00:35:03,024 --> 00:35:08,661 Great things don't happen in tiny little increments. 783 00:35:08,696 --> 00:35:10,464 You know, they happen when 784 00:35:10,498 --> 00:35:13,600 someone thinks completely differently. 785 00:35:13,635 --> 00:35:16,937 And all you geniuses, you just-- 786 00:35:16,972 --> 00:35:19,974 you're just modifying algorithms. 787 00:35:24,613 --> 00:35:26,814 C-3PO, huh? 788 00:35:28,950 --> 00:35:30,951 That dude's a badass. 789 00:35:30,986 --> 00:35:32,286 You know, he's fluent in over 790 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,889 6 million forms of communication. 791 00:35:40,062 --> 00:35:41,262 Give me the money. 792 00:35:41,296 --> 00:35:42,864 What the fuck? What the fuck? 793 00:35:42,898 --> 00:35:44,132 Give me your money. 794 00:35:44,166 --> 00:35:45,834 Is that a toy gun? 795 00:35:45,868 --> 00:35:46,868 [Shot fires] 796 00:35:46,902 --> 00:35:49,304 Aah! Fuck! 797 00:35:53,042 --> 00:35:55,610 [Rock music] 798 00:35:55,644 --> 00:36:00,948 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 799 00:36:00,982 --> 00:36:02,549 Aah! 800 00:36:02,584 --> 00:36:04,017 [Horn honks] Fuck you! 801 00:36:04,052 --> 00:36:06,786 Fuck you! 802 00:36:06,821 --> 00:36:08,655 Aah! 803 00:36:12,393 --> 00:36:14,628 Get in. We drink. 804 00:36:14,662 --> 00:36:15,962 Fuck-- oh, God damn it! 805 00:36:15,996 --> 00:36:17,364 [Speaking portuguese] _ 806 00:36:17,398 --> 00:36:20,367 [Music] 807 00:36:20,401 --> 00:36:23,970 ♪ ♪ 808 00:36:24,005 --> 00:36:25,905 Hey, faggot. 809 00:36:25,940 --> 00:36:28,575 I am not a faggot. 810 00:36:28,609 --> 00:36:32,812 And I could sue you for the use of the word. 811 00:36:32,847 --> 00:36:35,048 Whoa, Nellie. I'm on your side. 812 00:36:35,082 --> 00:36:38,184 Come on in. Let us buy you a drink. 813 00:36:38,219 --> 00:36:39,919 Come on. I'm not gonna bite-- 814 00:36:39,954 --> 00:36:41,922 unless you ask me to. 815 00:36:41,956 --> 00:36:43,390 ♪ Bottoms up ♪ 816 00:36:43,424 --> 00:36:45,025 ♪ bottoms up bottoms up ♪ 817 00:36:45,059 --> 00:36:47,227 ♪ bottoms up bottoms up ♪ 818 00:36:47,262 --> 00:36:50,364 ♪ bottoms up don't stop ♪ 819 00:36:58,607 --> 00:37:01,241 - What's with him? - No idea. 820 00:37:01,276 --> 00:37:04,045 He's been weird all day. 821 00:37:11,653 --> 00:37:15,956 You, um-- you plagiarized Nelson Mandela. 822 00:37:15,990 --> 00:37:17,290 Who? 823 00:37:17,325 --> 00:37:19,592 The MIT application essay. 824 00:37:19,627 --> 00:37:21,861 Oh, you think I should have wrote it myself? 825 00:37:21,895 --> 00:37:24,396 No. I think you shouldn't have 826 00:37:24,431 --> 00:37:26,598 applied to colleges for me without asking me. 827 00:37:26,632 --> 00:37:28,367 I did ask you. 828 00:37:28,401 --> 00:37:31,069 I asked you, like, 100 times to get the applications in, 829 00:37:31,104 --> 00:37:32,471 - and you ignored me. - For a reason. 830 00:37:32,505 --> 00:37:34,273 What reason, that you're an idiot? 831 00:37:34,307 --> 00:37:35,775 That you want to waste your life laying around 832 00:37:35,809 --> 00:37:37,643 in this shit-hole neighborhood forever? 833 00:37:37,678 --> 00:37:39,913 You have any idea how much stuff 834 00:37:39,947 --> 00:37:43,250 I had to steal and sell to pay those application fees? 835 00:37:43,284 --> 00:37:46,987 It was a huge pain in the ass, and I did it for you. 836 00:37:47,021 --> 00:37:48,922 So you could be a little bit nicer about it. 837 00:37:48,957 --> 00:37:53,894 You know, you might even want to say thank you. 838 00:37:53,928 --> 00:37:55,895 Thank you. 839 00:37:55,930 --> 00:37:57,230 [Both moaning] 840 00:37:57,264 --> 00:37:59,732 Thank you. Thank you! 841 00:37:59,766 --> 00:38:01,667 [Both grunting] 842 00:38:01,701 --> 00:38:06,739 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 843 00:38:06,774 --> 00:38:08,608 May I transfer you to sales? 844 00:38:08,642 --> 00:38:09,942 Thank you so much. 845 00:38:09,977 --> 00:38:12,011 And you have a Worldwide day. 846 00:38:12,046 --> 00:38:13,846 Hey, Fiona. You okay? 847 00:38:13,881 --> 00:38:17,117 Huh? Oh, yeah. 848 00:38:17,151 --> 00:38:18,919 Yeah, I'm okay. 849 00:38:18,953 --> 00:38:21,355 Mike's not such a bad guy once you get to know him. 850 00:38:21,389 --> 00:38:23,591 Maria got an infection in the hospital. 851 00:38:23,625 --> 00:38:25,760 She's gonna be out for at least a couple more weeks. 852 00:38:25,794 --> 00:38:28,362 I-I was thinking of requesting you, if you're available. 853 00:38:28,397 --> 00:38:30,932 Easier than training a new girl every day. 854 00:38:30,966 --> 00:38:32,466 That'd be great. 855 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,970 Only thing is, Mr. Pratt, Sr. 856 00:38:36,004 --> 00:38:38,506 Uncle Matt, we call him, he's kind of conservative. 857 00:38:38,540 --> 00:38:41,009 He's a deacon at First Baptist. 858 00:38:41,043 --> 00:38:42,844 I'm sure that outfit would have been great 859 00:38:42,878 --> 00:38:44,946 at your last office, but-- 860 00:38:44,980 --> 00:38:47,049 Shit, really? [Gasps] Shit. 861 00:38:47,083 --> 00:38:50,018 Oh, fuck-- mm. Sorry. 862 00:38:50,053 --> 00:38:51,687 It's okay. Just button up a little bit 863 00:38:51,722 --> 00:38:53,322 and it'll all be all right. 864 00:38:53,357 --> 00:38:55,825 [Rock music] 865 00:38:55,860 --> 00:38:58,628 Please tell your father I'm a big fan. 866 00:38:58,663 --> 00:39:01,732 ♪ ♪ 867 00:39:01,766 --> 00:39:03,501 - It's truth, you see? - What's truth? 868 00:39:03,535 --> 00:39:04,869 That you are no good for Fiona. 869 00:39:04,903 --> 00:39:06,570 What the hell do you know? 870 00:39:06,605 --> 00:39:09,873 I know you are not meant for this life. 871 00:39:09,907 --> 00:39:13,476 You are a rich boy, born with a silver spoon, eh? 872 00:39:13,511 --> 00:39:16,980 It's okay not to be ashamed. 873 00:39:17,014 --> 00:39:18,548 I am from the favela. Okay? 874 00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:21,818 And now I have silver spoon. You can go that way. 875 00:39:21,852 --> 00:39:24,988 But the other way? [Scoffs] 876 00:39:25,022 --> 00:39:27,190 That way is just misery. 877 00:39:27,225 --> 00:39:30,660 Bitter. Resent. Miseria. 878 00:39:30,695 --> 00:39:34,197 It's better you should go now, before Fiona and 879 00:39:34,232 --> 00:39:36,099 the kids get more, uh, what's the-- 880 00:39:36,134 --> 00:39:39,502 - Attached. - Attached, yes. 881 00:39:39,537 --> 00:39:42,772 Or before you and Fiona make a baby together. 882 00:39:42,806 --> 00:39:45,341 'Cause after a baby, 883 00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:51,013 then it's misery, bitter, resent forever. 884 00:39:51,048 --> 00:39:57,019 Men, we need space to think. 885 00:39:57,054 --> 00:40:02,426 So walk, think. 886 00:40:02,460 --> 00:40:05,463 This time, I will not follow you. 887 00:40:09,968 --> 00:40:13,637 Thanks, man. 888 00:40:13,672 --> 00:40:15,872 Hey, but if you break any laws, 889 00:40:15,907 --> 00:40:17,207 I will chop off both your hands, eh? 890 00:40:17,241 --> 00:40:19,209 I got it. 891 00:40:21,512 --> 00:40:24,580 You use that Mandela speech in all the applications? 892 00:40:24,614 --> 00:40:28,450 No, mixed it up a little bit. 893 00:40:28,485 --> 00:40:31,821 Couple of dead presidents and some guy called "Gandy." 894 00:40:31,855 --> 00:40:34,457 Gandhi? 895 00:40:34,491 --> 00:40:38,561 I don't get why you'd want me to go to MIT. 896 00:40:38,596 --> 00:40:43,300 You know, Boston's pretty far away. 897 00:40:43,334 --> 00:40:47,303 I thought maybe you'd take me with you, but-- 898 00:40:49,874 --> 00:40:52,943 But what? 899 00:40:52,977 --> 00:40:57,081 No one's ever been as good to me as you have. 900 00:40:57,115 --> 00:40:59,316 You're better than this neighborhood. 901 00:40:59,351 --> 00:41:01,919 You're better than anyone I've ever met. 902 00:41:01,954 --> 00:41:05,924 And you deserve to get out-- 903 00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:08,126 even if you don't take me with you, 904 00:41:08,161 --> 00:41:12,031 which I never really thought you would anyway. 905 00:41:24,412 --> 00:41:26,213 So is it true? 906 00:41:26,247 --> 00:41:29,450 You're getting married? 907 00:41:29,484 --> 00:41:32,052 So who is it? Is it Angie Zahgo 908 00:41:32,087 --> 00:41:34,455 or some other piece of trash you screw so you can pretend 909 00:41:34,489 --> 00:41:37,758 I don't matter to you? 910 00:41:42,697 --> 00:41:44,966 Hey, what the fuck, Gallagher? [Glass shatters] 911 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,502 Oh, he speaks! 912 00:41:52,508 --> 00:41:55,209 So that's it. We're over. 913 00:41:55,244 --> 00:41:57,345 Your dad beats the shit out of us, 914 00:41:57,380 --> 00:41:59,514 and you're just gonna get married, no conversation? 915 00:41:59,549 --> 00:42:01,750 Nothing? 916 00:42:05,121 --> 00:42:07,656 Get the fuck off me. 917 00:42:07,690 --> 00:42:09,157 Oh, you want to fag bash? 918 00:42:09,191 --> 00:42:11,159 That make you feel like a man? 919 00:42:11,193 --> 00:42:15,096 Come on. Go ahead! Do it! 920 00:42:15,130 --> 00:42:17,131 [Grunts] 921 00:42:17,132 --> 00:42:18,825 Fuck. 922 00:42:19,235 --> 00:42:21,969 [Gasping] 923 00:42:23,305 --> 00:42:27,308 You love me, and you're gay. 924 00:42:29,811 --> 00:42:34,282 Just admit it, just this once. 925 00:42:34,316 --> 00:42:37,151 Just fucking admit it. [Grunts] 926 00:42:39,254 --> 00:42:42,757 [Coughs] 927 00:42:42,791 --> 00:42:45,126 You feel better now? 928 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,195 You feel like a man? 929 00:42:47,229 --> 00:42:50,932 [Groans] 930 00:42:50,966 --> 00:42:52,967 [Grunts] 931 00:42:55,304 --> 00:42:58,272 I feel better now. 932 00:43:00,342 --> 00:43:03,478 Oh, just the man I was hoping to run into. 933 00:43:03,512 --> 00:43:07,815 I can't see you anymore. 934 00:43:07,850 --> 00:43:09,584 I'm with Mandy now. 935 00:43:09,618 --> 00:43:13,221 Sorry, I, uh... 936 00:43:13,255 --> 00:43:15,924 I shouldn't have started up with you again. 937 00:43:15,958 --> 00:43:18,760 You're not serious. 938 00:43:18,794 --> 00:43:23,765 She's good for me, and you're not. 939 00:43:23,799 --> 00:43:26,168 And, uh... 940 00:43:26,202 --> 00:43:29,371 yeah, that's all. 941 00:43:34,977 --> 00:43:37,279 What about boys? 942 00:43:37,313 --> 00:43:39,181 What about them? 943 00:43:39,215 --> 00:43:42,251 - Well, do you like any? - None that like me. 944 00:43:42,285 --> 00:43:43,786 I'm not pretty like Fiona. 945 00:43:43,820 --> 00:43:46,122 My teeth are messed up, and my chest is flat. 946 00:43:46,156 --> 00:43:48,624 You know, they have special bras for that. 947 00:43:48,658 --> 00:43:51,461 [Door slams shut] 948 00:43:51,495 --> 00:43:54,464 - Hey. - Hey, Karen. 949 00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:00,937 Um, is there anything to eat? 950 00:44:04,743 --> 00:44:06,743 Mom? 951 00:44:08,579 --> 00:44:11,782 Jesus. What-fucking-ever! 952 00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:13,518 [Clatter] Hey! 953 00:44:13,552 --> 00:44:17,189 [Stomping upstairs] 954 00:44:21,328 --> 00:44:24,831 What did she do that's so bad that you won't talk to her? 955 00:44:30,104 --> 00:44:35,342 She wrote the Wongs and told them to take Hymie away. 956 00:44:35,376 --> 00:44:39,746 She told them I was crazy and 957 00:44:39,781 --> 00:44:42,749 that I had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 958 00:44:42,784 --> 00:44:47,388 and that I was bad for the baby. 959 00:44:47,422 --> 00:44:51,258 I do have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, 960 00:44:51,292 --> 00:44:55,495 but I-I've been working really hard to treat it. 961 00:44:55,529 --> 00:44:57,897 And my meds have been really working. 962 00:44:57,931 --> 00:44:59,999 And I am a little crazy, 963 00:45:00,034 --> 00:45:03,102 but I'm not bad for that baby. 964 00:45:03,136 --> 00:45:05,704 That part's just not true. 965 00:45:05,738 --> 00:45:07,239 Sheila? 966 00:45:07,273 --> 00:45:10,875 Yeah, honey? 967 00:45:10,910 --> 00:45:13,678 I've seen crazy, and I've seen bad for kids. 968 00:45:13,713 --> 00:45:16,681 You aren't either of those things. 969 00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:18,950 You're super nice. 970 00:45:18,984 --> 00:45:23,588 I've made a lot of mistakes. 971 00:45:23,622 --> 00:45:25,724 Then say you're sorry. 972 00:45:25,758 --> 00:45:29,628 Because if Monica came back, said she was sorry, 973 00:45:29,662 --> 00:45:35,133 and stayed... I'd forgive her. 974 00:45:35,168 --> 00:45:37,369 I would forgive her for everything, 975 00:45:37,403 --> 00:45:40,405 because she's my mom. 976 00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:46,377 I'm so... 977 00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:49,046 sorry your mom left you. 978 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:53,751 But you-- you know it's not your fault, right? 979 00:45:55,487 --> 00:45:58,689 Do you know that? It's not your fault. 980 00:46:01,594 --> 00:46:04,495 [Crying] 981 00:46:06,265 --> 00:46:08,065 [Lighter sparks] 982 00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:12,070 [Cell phone ringing] 983 00:46:14,039 --> 00:46:15,607 - Who's this? - Hey, Mandy. 984 00:46:15,641 --> 00:46:17,275 It's Karen Jackson. I just wanted to call 985 00:46:17,309 --> 00:46:19,777 and say thank you for applying to colleges for Lip. 986 00:46:19,812 --> 00:46:21,613 - What? - My mom kind of sucks 987 00:46:21,647 --> 00:46:24,616 these days, so it'll be awesome to have somewhere new to go. 988 00:46:24,651 --> 00:46:27,853 And all I have to do is poke one hole in a condom, 989 00:46:27,887 --> 00:46:30,689 and he'll do whatever I say forever. 990 00:46:30,723 --> 00:46:32,991 I mean, we learned that from last time. 991 00:46:33,026 --> 00:46:34,626 Fuck you. 992 00:46:34,661 --> 00:46:36,428 Oh, you mean, like, all three of us? 993 00:46:36,462 --> 00:46:37,963 Yeah, I could be down for that. 994 00:46:37,997 --> 00:46:40,232 Do you want me to ask Lip next time we do it? 995 00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:48,173 ♪ Aren't you the one who tried to hurt me ♪ 996 00:46:48,207 --> 00:46:50,509 ♪ when you said good-bye? ♪ 997 00:46:50,543 --> 00:46:52,110 ♪ Did you think I'd crumble? ♪ 998 00:46:52,145 --> 00:46:54,513 ♪ Did you think I'd lay down and die? ♪ 999 00:46:54,547 --> 00:46:56,114 ♪ Oh, no, not I ♪ 1000 00:46:56,148 --> 00:46:58,950 ♪ I will survive ♪ Oh, yeah. 1001 00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:00,785 All: ♪ Oh, as long as I know how to love ♪ 1002 00:47:00,820 --> 00:47:02,854 ♪ I know I'll stay alive ♪ 1003 00:47:02,889 --> 00:47:04,723 ♪ I've got all my life to live ♪ 1004 00:47:04,758 --> 00:47:06,859 ♪ I've got all my love to give ♪ 1005 00:47:06,893 --> 00:47:10,462 ♪ I will survive I will survive ♪ 1006 00:47:10,497 --> 00:47:13,432 [Cheers and applause] 1007 00:47:17,587 --> 00:47:18,871 Yeah! 1008 00:47:18,872 --> 00:47:21,507 Yeah! 1009 00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:26,545 Jesus. Oh. Whoa. 1010 00:47:26,579 --> 00:47:28,814 What's an Adam's apple matter 1011 00:47:28,848 --> 00:47:31,249 if you can blow like that? 1012 00:47:44,296 --> 00:47:47,264 [Laid-back music] 1013 00:47:47,299 --> 00:47:55,272 ♪ ♪ 1014 00:48:17,661 --> 00:48:21,297 Hey. Hi. You want a blowjob? 1015 00:48:21,331 --> 00:48:24,033 I'll give you a blowjob for $10-- 1016 00:48:24,067 --> 00:48:26,068 or a rock. Do you have a rock? 1017 00:48:26,102 --> 00:48:27,603 I give really good blowjobs. 1018 00:48:27,637 --> 00:48:30,573 [Siren blaring] 1019 00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:32,846 Are you sure you don't want one? 1020 00:48:36,646 --> 00:48:38,080 Do you know how many nerve endings 1021 00:48:38,115 --> 00:48:39,716 are in the foreskin of a penis? 1022 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:40,917 I don't think there's a single guy who wishes 1023 00:48:40,951 --> 00:48:42,451 he had more nerves down there. 1024 00:48:42,486 --> 00:48:44,053 Well, what if our son wants to be a transsexual? 1025 00:48:44,087 --> 00:48:45,921 They will need that skin to make him a proper vagina. 1026 00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:47,924 Why is that even a question? 1027 00:48:47,958 --> 00:48:49,759 The gays brought the gift baskets, Kevin. 1028 00:48:49,793 --> 00:48:51,160 Look at all the gift baskets. 1029 00:48:51,195 --> 00:48:52,328 I'm saying, it's a possibility. 1030 00:48:52,362 --> 00:48:53,663 What's all this? 1031 00:48:53,697 --> 00:48:55,431 Frank told the world he's gay. 1032 00:48:55,465 --> 00:48:57,667 And the gay world responded with chocolate and cheese. 1033 00:48:57,701 --> 00:48:59,635 - And good wine. - Wow. 1034 00:48:59,670 --> 00:49:04,073 Debs, school, why didn't you go? 1035 00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:06,076 Sheila was depressed, like, bad depressed. 1036 00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:08,178 - Monica depressed. - Code pink. 1037 00:49:08,212 --> 00:49:09,846 I'm sorry you had to deal with that. 1038 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,183 - Is Frank really gay? - No. [Laughs] 1039 00:49:13,217 --> 00:49:15,685 Carl, it's a scam. It's always some kind of scam. 1040 00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,855 This scam tastes awesome. 1041 00:49:18,889 --> 00:49:20,623 Is this dinner? 1042 00:49:20,657 --> 00:49:23,358 - Where's Jimmy? - I don't know. 1043 00:49:23,393 --> 00:49:25,860 Think he's still wondering if there's any more cheese? 1044 00:49:25,895 --> 00:49:28,263 - [Laughs] - Try the moldy one. 1045 00:49:28,297 --> 00:49:30,197 - I like the one with the holes. - Hey, put that down. 1046 00:49:30,232 --> 00:49:32,533 - Wipe your mouth afterwards. - [Laughs] 1047 00:49:32,568 --> 00:49:34,102 What did Kevin say? 1048 00:49:34,136 --> 00:49:36,270 [Laughter] 1049 00:49:36,305 --> 00:49:41,309 [Indistinct chatter downstairs] 1050 00:49:48,551 --> 00:49:49,617 [Knock at door] 1051 00:49:49,652 --> 00:49:51,119 Come in. 1052 00:49:51,153 --> 00:49:53,321 Hi. Honey, hi. 1053 00:49:53,356 --> 00:49:56,791 Mom, I am not in the mood right now. 1054 00:49:56,825 --> 00:50:01,062 I'm sorry I was so crazy when you were little. 1055 00:50:01,097 --> 00:50:06,068 I-I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get my meds balanced. 1056 00:50:06,102 --> 00:50:10,172 And I'm sorry that I missed so many 1057 00:50:10,207 --> 00:50:13,976 of your school events because I couldn't leave the house. 1058 00:50:14,010 --> 00:50:16,646 And I-- 1059 00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:21,717 I'm sorry that I-I took up with your husband, 1060 00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:23,319 even if you didn't want him. 1061 00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:27,156 It's just a-- well, just a terrible thing 1062 00:50:27,190 --> 00:50:30,059 for a mother to do. 1063 00:50:30,093 --> 00:50:35,565 There-- there are so many ways I wish I-- 1064 00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:38,768 I could have been a better mother to you. 1065 00:50:41,705 --> 00:50:46,943 I-I hope you can forgive me, Karen. 1066 00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:53,583 I hope we can start over, because I-- 1067 00:50:53,617 --> 00:50:55,618 [Sobs] 1068 00:51:01,124 --> 00:51:03,960 I love you so very much. 1069 00:51:03,994 --> 00:51:07,229 I love you so much. 1070 00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:13,536 I-- [Text alert] 1071 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,572 _ 1072 00:51:16,573 --> 00:51:19,775 Okay, I'm sorry, mom. It's-- it's Lip. 1073 00:51:19,810 --> 00:51:22,211 He wants to meet at the park. 1074 00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:25,381 Oh. 1075 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:29,586 Oh. Are you-- are you seeing Lip again? 1076 00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:31,454 I hope so. 1077 00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:33,290 Okay. 1078 00:51:33,324 --> 00:51:35,793 [Giggles] 1079 00:51:43,669 --> 00:51:45,904 [Horn honks] 1080 00:51:45,938 --> 00:51:49,607 Fuck you too. Stupid bitch. 1081 00:51:57,315 --> 00:51:58,782 [Knock at door] 1082 00:51:58,816 --> 00:52:00,750 Christopher! 1083 00:52:00,784 --> 00:52:03,319 Christopher! 1084 00:52:03,353 --> 00:52:05,621 Go away, Frank. You're drunk. 1085 00:52:05,655 --> 00:52:07,757 You need a meeting. Go away. 1086 00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:09,125 Christopher, why? 1087 00:52:09,159 --> 00:52:11,294 It was so good between us. 1088 00:52:11,328 --> 00:52:12,996 I'm sorry, Frank. 1089 00:52:13,030 --> 00:52:15,198 Mom says this is how it has to be. 1090 00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:19,002 No, Chris, wait. Wait, Chris! Ohh! 1091 00:52:19,036 --> 00:52:21,171 [Dogs barking] 1092 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:26,209 [Rock music] 1093 00:52:26,244 --> 00:52:28,812 ♪ ♪ 1094 00:52:28,846 --> 00:52:30,647 So you like emergency medicine, right? 1095 00:52:30,681 --> 00:52:32,382 Hours suck. But, yeah, I love it. 1096 00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:34,318 And it's a shorter track than surgery, right? 1097 00:52:34,352 --> 00:52:35,785 - Barely. - Incoming ambulance. 1098 00:52:35,820 --> 00:52:37,554 Serious head trauma, two minutes out. 1099 00:52:37,588 --> 00:52:41,491 All right. 1100 00:52:41,526 --> 00:52:43,794 - How's the money? - The money's good. 1101 00:52:43,828 --> 00:52:46,130 And the saving people's lives is pretty great, too. 1102 00:52:46,164 --> 00:52:47,397 You mean, like, the adrenaline rush? 1103 00:52:47,432 --> 00:52:49,166 What's going on, man? 1104 00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,002 You thinking about going back to school? 1105 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,173 You know, thought I hated med school, but U of M's 1106 00:52:57,208 --> 00:52:58,908 looking pretty damn great right now. 1107 00:52:58,942 --> 00:53:00,209 Caucasian female hit and run victim. 1108 00:53:00,244 --> 00:53:01,644 Cracked skull and a thready pulse. 1109 00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:03,880 Ran two large bores of saline en route. 1110 00:53:03,914 --> 00:53:08,484 ♪ ♪ 1111 00:53:23,135 --> 00:53:26,670 Oh, hey. Bright. [Chuckles] 1112 00:53:26,705 --> 00:53:29,040 Mr. Gallagher, when you're ready to rise, 1113 00:53:29,074 --> 00:53:32,043 we'd like to buy you a meal and have a chat. 1114 00:53:37,483 --> 00:53:38,683 What'd you hit? 1115 00:53:38,718 --> 00:53:41,720 Girl at school. 1116 00:53:41,754 --> 00:53:44,390 Don't forget to check for hair behind the grill. 1117 00:53:44,424 --> 00:53:47,393 Call Manny about the windshield. 1118 00:53:52,666 --> 00:53:54,566 We've looked into your records, Frank. 1119 00:53:54,601 --> 00:53:58,270 You're an alcoholic, a derelict. 1120 00:53:58,304 --> 00:54:00,906 Not the kind of man we usually want on our side. 1121 00:54:00,941 --> 00:54:05,544 But you, my friend, have stumbled ass over Teakettle 1122 00:54:05,579 --> 00:54:07,780 into the most significant moment 1123 00:54:07,814 --> 00:54:09,782 in the history of the gay rights movement. 1124 00:54:09,816 --> 00:54:12,718 We both know that we're not second-class citizens, 1125 00:54:12,752 --> 00:54:14,553 but there are a lot of people in this country 1126 00:54:14,587 --> 00:54:16,321 who still need convincing. 1127 00:54:16,356 --> 00:54:18,924 And you are the missing piece in our puzzle. 1128 00:54:18,958 --> 00:54:22,427 You blue-collar, working-class, Irish-Catholic. 1129 00:54:22,462 --> 00:54:25,431 You have the ears of the people 1130 00:54:25,465 --> 00:54:29,001 whose minds most need changing. 1131 00:54:29,035 --> 00:54:32,004 You also have dog shit on your face and no place to live, 1132 00:54:32,038 --> 00:54:34,473 but we can fix that if you agree to work with us. 1133 00:54:34,507 --> 00:54:36,908 You've got my attention, Mr.-- 1134 00:54:36,943 --> 00:54:38,844 Paige. Abraham Paige. 1135 00:54:38,878 --> 00:54:40,279 We'll clean you up. We'll house you. 1136 00:54:40,313 --> 00:54:42,248 We'll coach you. 1137 00:54:42,282 --> 00:54:43,849 Do you remember "Joe The Plumber"? 1138 00:54:43,884 --> 00:54:46,319 Heard of him? He's a personal hero of mine. 1139 00:54:46,353 --> 00:54:49,922 Well, you are gay Joe. 1140 00:54:49,957 --> 00:54:53,126 - Frank the plumber? - No. 1141 00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,295 Frank, the father. 1142 00:54:55,329 --> 00:54:58,131 Frank, the son. Frank, the neighbor. 1143 00:54:58,166 --> 00:55:01,802 Frank, the face of the gay-rights movement. 1144 00:55:12,414 --> 00:55:13,714 Oh, jeez. 1145 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:19,987 - Oh. - Take it. 1146 00:55:20,022 --> 00:55:22,523 - Ow. - Take it. This shit. Yeah. 1147 00:55:22,557 --> 00:55:24,358 - Ow. - Take it, you little gimp. 1148 00:55:24,392 --> 00:55:26,660 Turn over. Mama's gonna give you an exam. 1149 00:55:26,694 --> 00:55:27,861 [Groans] 1150 00:55:27,895 --> 00:55:28,995 - Take it. - Ow. 1151 00:55:29,030 --> 00:55:30,497 - Take it. - Ow. 1152 00:55:30,531 --> 00:55:31,664 Don't you shit on my hand. You hear me? 1153 00:55:31,699 --> 00:55:33,199 - Yeah. Ooh. Take it. - Ow. 1154 00:55:33,234 --> 00:55:34,479 Yeah. 1155 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:35,402 Ah! 1156 00:55:35,403 --> 00:55:37,515 [Both moaning] 1157 00:55:37,516 --> 00:55:41,606 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com