1 00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:07,800 Why are children dancing with a mad Polish woman in my electoral office? 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,480 When I agreed to this job, you said that I could bring Iain to work. 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,440 Senator Cleaver Greene. I was your fellow speaker here today. 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,040 Ah, Li-Ming Wiu, hi. 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,920 The bodies of two drowned plumbers were pulled from a sewer today in Canberra. 6 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:25,000 The bodies were identified as brothers Jake and Gordon Metherall from Queanbeyan. 7 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,280 -The plumbers. -Mmm. 8 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,920 You didn’t. You wouldn’t. 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,720 Have you got an appointment to see me, Joe? 10 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,880 [Joe] What if I throw you my numbers? Make you Prime Minister? 11 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,520 You give me that back, 12 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,160 you sign a legal document relinquishing all future claims to it. 13 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,440 -Prime Minister, Cal. -It’s my painting. 14 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:41,680 Prime Minister. 15 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,480 Are you sure you can’t find another hour or so? 16 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,480 It is not often I spend time with someone who shares my passion. 17 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,520 Why are people leaving the room quickly? 18 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,640 Oh, shit. It’s a coup. 19 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,600 -Fuck me sideways. -It’s a fuckin' coup. 20 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,440 [oriental music playing] 21 00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,360 [man] Thank you so much. [mouthing] 22 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,160 Excuse me. 23 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,280 You're looking great. 24 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,320 Why was I not invited? 25 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,520 [Li-Ming chuckles] 26 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,080 Because questions would be asked 27 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,000 by my parents, and my husband’s parents, 28 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,280 the polit bureau, the Ambassador, not to mention my husband. 29 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,000 Yes, yes, well, let’s not mention him. 30 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,960 -Who is the offending article? -Stop it. 31 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,040 He is the Deputy Secretary for the Embassy here. 32 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,160 -Oh, is he? -Yes. 33 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,960 Oh, right. Well, good for him. 34 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,320 His father is about the third richest man in China. 35 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,400 Oh, is he? 36 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,520 And he wants his son to be President one day. 37 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,400 Does he. And. um, 38 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,440 do you love him? 39 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:49,880 I like him. 40 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,160 He’s handsome, he’s smart. 41 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,960 With my advice, he could get things done. 42 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,000 See, I don't like him. 43 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,440 You’ve never met him. 44 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,160 No, but I don’t have to meet people to not like them. 45 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,760 -So, this is the real you. -I just... 46 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,360 As opposed to the bullshit artist I had lunch with. 47 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,480 Well, yes, this is, uh, this is it, 48 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,800 I'm afraid. 49 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,280 I always prefer the genuine article. 50 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,400 [people exclaiming] 51 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,880 [speaking Cantonese] 52 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,200 [guests shouting angrily] 53 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,600 What are you doing? 54 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,480 [Cleaver] Happy to talk about this, guys. 55 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,360 [announcer] Sources within Australia’s diplomatic corps 56 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,560 are describing it as one of the most 57 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,280 embarrassing diplomatic incidents in decades. 58 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,560 The Chinese Premier is not only calling-- 59 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,560 Pull up in this vet’s. 60 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,200 Princess is distressed. 61 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,600 I need to see if there’s someone who could have a look at her. 62 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,839 [Princess retching] 63 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,840 Oh, God. 64 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,160 Oh, God. 65 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,440 Yes, they can see her. 66 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,600 Oh mate, she’s chucked something up in there. 67 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,560 Oh, mate, she has thrown up something in there that you don’t wanna know about. 68 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,040 Oh, Princess. 69 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,800 Where is she? 70 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,440 -What do you mean? -Where's Princess? 71 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,520 [Cleaver] I don't know. 72 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:49,360 Where is she? 73 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,360 What... Well... What... 74 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,760 She was right here a second ago. I'm buggered if I know. 75 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,360 You were right here. 76 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,800 -Well, mate, I don't know. I mean-- -Princess! 77 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,160 Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. 78 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,440 Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, 79 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,720 Kitty, kitty, kitty. 80 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:06,840 I don’t-- Kitty! 81 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,880 This morning, I had the privilege 82 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,200 to inform His Excellency the Governor General 83 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,520 that the Federal Liberal Party last night bestowed upon me 84 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,440 the enormous honor of its leadership. 85 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,920 He consequently asked me to form a government. 86 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,240 I would like to thank Gareth Morrow for his fantastic work as Prime Minister 87 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,680 over the past five Newspolls-- Uh, 15 weeks. 88 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,200 But quite frankly, we weren’t coming up to scratch. 89 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,200 [chuckles] Darling! Come here. 90 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:44,000 [Cal] More significantly, though, and on a very sad note, 91 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,240 Chief Justice Nelson last night passed away suddenly from a heart attack. 92 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,960 He graced his office with grace and dignity, 93 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,360 and we send our condolences and love to His Honor’s family 94 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,120 and of course, there will be a state funeral. Are there any questions? 95 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,520 [reporters clamoring] 96 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,040 Uh, yes. 97 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,280 I understand the incident at the Midwinter Ball last night involving Senator Cleaver Greene, a Chinese bride 98 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:14,160 and the collapse of a screen has caused enormous tensions with Beijing. 99 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:18,160 Mm, not at all, Catherine, no. I spoke to Premier Tsing this morning, 100 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,320 and we couldn’t be closer. 101 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,120 Relations simply could not be better. 102 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,680 God. 103 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,280 So what made you come home so suddenly? 104 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,120 Claudia left me. 105 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,200 -Claudia’s your colleague? -My boss. 106 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,120 Okay. And... 107 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,440 -And she's about-- -Fifty four. 108 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:45,720 Right, 54. 109 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,840 Darling, can I ask you, um, 110 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,640 a bit of an awkward question? 111 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,640 Yeah. 112 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,120 This thing that you've clearly got about older women, 113 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,960 and it is a thing because it’s been going on for a while now. 114 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,160 -Mmm-hmm. -Do you think that, um, subconsciously, 115 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,640 it’s a way of, um-- 116 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,800 Sort of that it’s about you and me? 117 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,240 [retches] Are you out of-- 118 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:13,720 Are you kidding me? 119 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,600 How many times do I have to tell you, Mum, this is not Oedipal? 120 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,920 This is just a thing. It’s a normal thing. 121 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,240 Okay. See, I think that a more normal thing 122 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,600 would be to have lustful thoughts about girls your own age, for example, you know? 123 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,560 What is there to understand? Most people, they have things, 124 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,880 and most people don’t know why. 125 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,440 But darling, she’s 54! I mean, that’s, you know... 126 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,880 Are you saying that a 54 year old woman can't be beautiful? 127 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,440 No, that’s not what I'm saying. 128 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,280 I gotta tell you, Mum, it’s just around the corner for you. 129 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,960 It’s not around the corner, I'll have you know. It’s a good way off. 130 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,880 And you know, Missy is a beautiful woman and you have a child together 131 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,040 and she’s got a good decade on you. 132 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,720 And I mean, that’s substantial. 133 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,960 That’s something to be getting on with, don't you think? 134 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,760 [knocking on door] 135 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,240 Can I help you? 136 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,360 Dallas Jeffrey, Senator Greene. I'm from Morgan Field estate agents, 137 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,240 who represent this property. 138 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,600 This is your Notice to Quit. 139 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,680 Quit what? 140 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,520 These premises. Immediately. 141 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,800 Well you can’t do this. I'm a-- 142 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,400 [stutters] I'm a Senator. 143 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,920 We’re very well aware of that. 144 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,200 Well, I have a lease. 145 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,080 Many of the terms of which you have broken. 146 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,120 Here’s the thing. I'm glad you're here, 147 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,800 because I've been having a lot of issues with the plumbing in this joint. 148 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,720 Things you don’t want to know about 149 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,680 that I've had to pay for out of my own pocket, 150 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,520 and I need to be compensated for that. 151 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,320 You have constantly been in arrears with your rental payments. 152 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,559 Yes. Now see that’s an issue I'm having with the banking industry, 153 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,679 because there’s a conspiracy going on. 154 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:35,880 Senator Greene-- 155 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,039 You can’t just kick me out of here without any notice. 156 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,280 I-- I know the law. I make the law. 157 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,280 -There is a clause... -I am the law. 158 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,800 ...in your rental agreement 159 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,880 which specifically prohibits subletting your space 160 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,160 and allows for instant termination of the lease if you do. 161 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,440 -I've never-- -You've an hour to vacate these premises. 162 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,920 These gentlemen will ensure your rapid departure. 163 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,240 We’ll probably need to fumigate. 164 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,360 Is it all done? Locked up at the back? 165 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:05,960 Alright, send the cleaners in now, please. 166 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:10,320 Ah, the new Prime Minister is so keen for a meeting. 167 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,920 Last night’s events... 168 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,600 [Cleaver] Oh, great. That’d be right. Here we go. 169 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:21,520 Yes. Mate, listen, would you mind just taking them to Wendy’s, please? 170 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,160 I'm assuming this’ll be my lift for the day. 171 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,520 Hello Nicole, would you mind meeting me at the house please, 172 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,720 as soon as possible? Thank you. 173 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,640 -[knocking on door] -Come. 174 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,120 I'm a man of my word. 175 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,640 Treasurer. 176 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,920 Well, 177 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,400 I won’t say thank you, 178 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,240 but I am prepared to acknowledge the gesture. 179 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,320 -Fair enough. -[cell phone chimes] 180 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,240 Ah, Joe, hang on a tick. Greene’s coming in. 181 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,120 Might be better if we double team him. 182 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,400 Brother. 183 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,000 Rightio. 184 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,000 Brother. 185 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,760 Thank you. 186 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,200 [baby cries] 187 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,680 [baby gurgling] 188 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,680 I didn’t know you were coming back. 189 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,800 It was a spur of the moment decision. 190 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,440 Ow! 191 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,440 Spur is not a fucking excuse! 192 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,880 You might want to hide behind being a child, 193 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,880 but you're not a child anymore. 194 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,400 Okay, one... 195 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,840 One was fair, all right? 196 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,840 Do not get me started on fair. 197 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,840 You are an adult. You have responsibilities. 198 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,720 Do you have any idea how selfish you’ve been? 199 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,000 Is there an answer I can give that won’t result in me getting a slap? 200 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,080 Is Claudia here? 201 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,440 Is that why you’ve come back? 202 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,200 Claudia and I have broken up. 203 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,440 God, she’s so grown up. 204 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,760 Yeah, that’s what happens, isn’t it? 205 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,080 Hey little darling baby girl. 206 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,040 Oh! 207 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,480 [Missy chuckles] Good girl. 208 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:24,720 There were no deaths. 209 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,320 But there was quite a bit of physical damage, and political. 210 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,040 So it has to be attempted manslaughter, at least. 211 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,240 What, a screen falling on-- Jesus, you're a shit lawyer, Cal. 212 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,960 There’s no such thing as attempted manslaughter, mate. 213 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,800 By definition you can’t attempt the accidental death of somebody. 214 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,640 Terri, I need to give the Chinese something, 215 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,760 or to be more precise, someone. 216 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:46,960 It was attempted assault. 217 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,920 What, by leaning on a screen, which nobody saw me do, by the way, 218 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,360 and which resulted in a couple of people getting bruised. 219 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,640 -You pushed over the screen... -I leaned. 220 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,560 ...with the intention of causing grievous bodily harm 221 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,880 on a race of people that you hate. 222 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,280 What, the whole race, with one screen? 223 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,080 Your father served in Korea, didn’t he? 224 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,720 -Yes, and? -There you go. 225 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,920 What do you mean, "There you go"? 226 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:10,440 Let’s go with the whole hate/terrorism line. 227 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,640 That way, we can have a trial in camera, no press, no public. 228 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,400 We can have him off to an island by Thursday. 229 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,720 Terrorism is clean. Uncontroversial. Chuck in the hate crime... 230 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,320 [stutters] You people... You're mental. 231 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,480 You have deliberately destroyed years of patient diplomacy. 232 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,880 Diplomacy? You’ve been Prime Minister for about seven seconds, mate. 233 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,440 I mean the South China Sea is about to erupt! 234 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,800 I mean, you have no idea the shit I had to eat from the Chinese this morning. 235 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,760 You know, if I close my eyes, Cal, 236 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,880 it’s almost as if you're channeling my sister. 237 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,840 I mean, your voice is a couple of octaves higher 238 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,040 but it's uncanny. 239 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,640 [Nicole] So? 240 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,480 They’re talking terrorism charges. 241 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,320 -What? -Hilarious, yeah. 242 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,800 They’re going to try and ping me with whatever they can get. 243 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,600 -But it’s pretty funny. -You're kidding! 244 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,760 I know. I'm looking forward to it because it’ll be a big day with the press. 245 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,000 -Terrorism? -Terrorism. 246 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,280 I leant against a screen, or is it leaned? 247 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,600 Um, well leaned or leant, that is the Deputy Secretary 248 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,000 of the Chinese Embassy waiting outside your office. 249 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,240 What? Why? Has he got an appointment? 250 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,400 No, but I'm thinking that he doesn't need one. 251 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:18,720 Well, why do I want to see him? 252 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,800 Because he’s here and he was the groom. 253 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,600 Oh my God, he’s the groom. Oh, shitballs. 254 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,600 Oh, wow, he looks fit. 255 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,920 Yeah, pretty-- Pretty fit. 256 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,920 Like I'm talking Jet Li. 257 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,320 -Mmm, Bruce Lee. -No, I mean Jet Li. 258 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,960 Who’s Jet-- Oh, see, you're thinking of Jason Scott Lee, Bruce’s son. 259 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:42,840 No, Bruce’s son was Brandon Lee. 260 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,160 I don't care if it’s Jennifer Jason, just shoosh, shoosh. 261 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,160 Let me focus here. 262 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:49,880 Listen, could you just get some sort of 263 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,320 emergency medical services on standby, please? 264 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,240 Okay, I'll call the Coroner. 265 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:59,680 Ah, Deputy Secretary, a pleasure to meet you. 266 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,560 Senator Greene, how do you do? 267 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,520 It has been a pleasure. 268 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,640 He seemed nice. 269 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,840 I mean, that went a lot better than I thought it would. 270 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,360 Just keep your head back. 271 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:22,960 Ah, that’s nice. 272 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,080 I know this is unfortunate timing, 273 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,120 but my people have told me that you should make your reckoning now. 274 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,520 Make my reckoning? What? 275 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,040 Settle your account. 276 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,840 There is not much confidence amongst any of the drivers’ factions 277 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,120 that you will be a Senator much longer. 278 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,760 I am under considerable political pressure right now 279 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:52,640 and in order to maintain my position, I have to be seen to be showing strength. 280 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,800 And what position do you think I'm in to settle any account, mate? 281 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,800 I'm a homeless person with a broken nose. 282 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,960 This is about the Princess and don’t pretend otherwise. 283 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,280 I'll get you a new cat. Put it on the tab. 284 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,840 Half the money. Now. 285 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,800 I don't have half... I mean, I don't know how much the whole amount is, mate, 286 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,960 but I can tell you now I don’t have half of it. 287 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,960 Half the money, or half a finger. 288 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,240 Half a finger? What are you, fuckin' Tony Soprano now? 289 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,720 [tires screeching] 290 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,840 My colleagues are very serious people. 291 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,520 Half a finger? 292 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,960 Mate, I've been driving you and that anally bereft 293 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,160 cat of yours around for weeks now. That’s gotta be worth something. 294 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,240 Okay, you get five percent off for driving. 295 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,880 Christ! How much do you think I owe you? 296 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,120 Well let me check. Pass me that ledger. 297 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,440 Yep. 298 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,640 A hundred and eighty thousand dollars, rounded down. 299 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,440 A hundred and eighty thousand? That is impossible, mate. 300 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,400 With interest, very possible. 301 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,800 That is bullsh-- I can’t even conceptualize 180 grand, mate. 302 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,680 -Look, it’s not just me. -Holy shit! 303 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,560 These are very serious people! 304 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,880 Who, the drivers? 305 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,320 If I don’t go back with half the money or half a finger, 306 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,520 I will lose their respect and perhaps a whole finger myself! 307 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,520 And I don't think that’s fair under the circumstances. 308 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,000 Okay, well let’s just go down to an ATM and withdraw $90,000. 309 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,000 [stuttering] I'll tell you what, 310 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,640 I will... I'll write you a check. 311 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,200 [laughs heartily] 312 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,520 You can be so amusing sometimes, sir. 313 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,480 Your son has made a lot of money, has he not? 314 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,960 I don't know. Why are we talking about my son now? 315 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,680 You do know he's back in Australia. 316 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,160 -No he’s not. Since when? -Since this morning. 317 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:38,880 He would have called. How do you know these things? 318 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,520 Good God, man, 319 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,360 you still do not understand the mysteries of power. 320 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,080 True power is never seen. 321 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,960 We are drivers. 322 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,840 We are this country’s connective tissue, 323 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,160 and I want my Princess back. 324 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,520 [baby crying] 325 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,960 -[Fuzz] Hey mate. -Why didn’t you tell me you were back? 326 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,440 [Fuzz] It’s a long story, Cleave. 327 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,800 [Missy] It’s a real cracker. It’s one for the whole family. 328 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,160 Oh, mate. 329 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,240 What are you doing? Why is he wearing your robe? 330 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,240 Well, the ball was boring 331 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,640 and there was all that screaming coming from the Chinese wedding next door. 332 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,400 -Are you kidding me? -So I invited him back for a drink. 333 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,920 Oh my God, are you kidding? 334 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,440 Oh God! Oh! 335 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,960 God, are you kidding me? 336 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,320 Oh! 337 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,480 You all right in there, Cleave? 338 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:59,560 You have not got an original idea in your head! 339 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,560 Or your penis! Don’t you see what’s going on? 340 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,000 -He has been stalking me sexually! -He has not been stalking you. 341 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,360 -For years now! For years! -[baby crying] 342 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,840 The world does not revolve around your penis! 343 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,160 [all clamoring] 344 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,040 Oh! Oh, what’s Cleaver up to now? 345 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,400 You're a sick man. I'm gonna throw up. 346 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,480 You know what? You're right. You're right, Cleaver. 347 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,880 I was screwed up. But Wendy has helped me see the light. 348 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,600 You know, I was like a crab lugging around his shell, 349 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,640 as opposed to a shell lugging around his crabs. 350 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,000 Oh, see that’s not funny. You think that’s funny. 351 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,560 -He thinks that’s funny. -I've outgrown my tiny shell. 352 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,480 I now have a new, big, roomy one 353 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,320 with a Jacuzzi and a 70s soundtrack. 354 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,800 -Look at him! That’s my shell! -[Wendy] Oh my God. 355 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,320 That is my shell. You gave him my shell. 356 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,120 I didn't give him... Stop talking about shells! 357 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,240 Because you couldn’t have me and so you were determined to... 358 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,480 To build someone in my likeness. 359 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,200 Cleaver, I rejected you, remember? 360 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,000 Yes, you rejected me because 361 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,360 you wanted to go lounging around in Sardinia, 362 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,400 and I wanted to stay here and serve the people. 363 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,320 I rejected you because I can’t actually trust 364 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,280 a single word that comes out of your mouth. 365 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,400 And the idea of you serving the people is ridiculous. 366 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,720 -Did you two-- I need to know. -[Wendy] Oh my God. 367 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,920 That is absolutely none of your business. 368 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,040 Did it? 369 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,080 [music playing] 370 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,560 Oh, that fucking song again. 371 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,200 World travel hasn’t made you any more familiar 372 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,280 with the notion of knocking, I see. 373 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,360 Oh my God, that song’s gonna drive someone postal one day. 374 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,400 Your mother’s obviously been putting up with it for a year now. 375 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,640 However, number one on my Freudian hit parade right now 376 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,440 is what the hell is going on with you, my friend. 377 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,680 Claudia dumped me. 378 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,120 And Claudia would be the... 379 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:59,040 The octogenarian woman who lured you into her honey trap? 380 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,680 Fuck, Dad. Don’t joke about this 381 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,280 or I swear to fuck I will get on a plane, 382 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,720 because I came here for comfort and support. 383 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,040 Yes. See, sometimes we think we need comfort and support 384 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,280 and actually what we really need 385 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,160 is a size nine and a half Blunny up the clacker. 386 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,720 Why should men get to be with women half their age 387 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,880 and women aren’t allowed to do the same thing? 388 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,760 I mean, the President of France has a wife 25 years older than him. 389 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,280 -Is he copping shit? -Correct me if I'm wrong, 390 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:29,320 but I don't believe the President of France has fathered a child 391 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,600 with his own father’s former prostitute, 392 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,560 not that that’d be a problem in France, of course. 393 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,360 Just help me out with one thing, mate. 394 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,520 What in the name of God 395 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,760 could possibly be wrong with Missy? 396 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,520 I mean, she’s an incredible woman. 397 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,440 She’s older than you. 398 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,720 If it’s not working it’s not working. 399 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,760 I fell for Claudia the moment I met her-- 400 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,800 No, you didn’t. You didn't! No, you didn’t, you see. This is... 401 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,880 [groans] 402 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,840 You’ve inherited your father’s disease, mate. 403 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,360 You're mistaking possibility for love. 404 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,400 I don't know what that means. 405 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,600 The only thing that ever falls in love at first sight is your penis. 406 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,920 Real love presents itself 407 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,920 slowly, over time, 408 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,000 and sometimes 409 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,560 you only realize it when it’s left the building. 410 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,160 [Wendy] Can you please stop singing that song? 411 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,120 [both chuckling] 412 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,400 So, um, 413 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,680 how is, uh, how’s every other little thing in your life? 414 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,280 -How’s, uh, how’s business going? -It's fine. 415 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,520 -Why do you ask? -Oh no, just wondering. 416 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:48,800 Shit, how much? 417 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,320 Mate, it doesn't always have to be about... 418 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,440 -How much, Cleave? -About 90. Quite quickly. 419 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,840 -Fuck. -Oh, mate. 420 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,440 It’s the drivers. These are serious guys. 421 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,440 They seem to run the planet, and I've lost one of their cats. 422 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,200 [knocking on door] 423 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,560 I'll get him. 424 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,320 [Maria stutters] 425 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,160 Not a word from you. 426 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,000 Okay, not a syllable from you. 427 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,600 So, here I was, 428 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,680 thinking that I was about to be charged with terrorism, 429 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,640 and that’d be fine because I could defend that. 430 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,240 But no, the charge is fraudulent use of government property 431 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,320 for personal financial gain, okay? 432 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,520 And that’s provable. The fucking creche. 433 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,000 It was a community service. 434 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,440 She’s been charging for it. 435 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,000 I mean, I assumed she, you know, she’d be covering the costs of, you know, 436 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,400 cheese sticks and party pies. How much do you think she’s made from this thing? 437 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,360 I don’t-- I'm not sure, exactly. 438 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,760 Rough guess. 439 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,920 -Hundred and twenty, hundred and thirty. -Thousand? 440 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,200 -Yep. -Dollars? 441 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,160 All declared to the Tax Office, I'm assuming. 442 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,640 There is a serious 443 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,800 shortage of good childcare in this city. 444 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:18,000 Yeah, and, um, so what did you do with this money? 445 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,560 I put it under your mattress at my place. 446 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,880 Under my mattress? Did you? 447 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,240 And so how much money do you think 448 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,400 the nice policeman found under my mattress? 449 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,160 I think the policeman found about a hundred. 450 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,440 Hundred thousand. 451 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,280 Yeah, I mean, we spent a little bit and then, 452 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,160 then we’ve got a lot of family back in Poland. 453 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,520 Yeah. 454 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:44,040 Oh, I put on a deposit for a school for Iain. 455 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,520 Oh. And so the nice man 456 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:52,200 literally found a hundred thousand dollars under my mattress. 457 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,040 -It sounds bad, but-- -Doesn't it? 458 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:57,640 Yeah, it just snowballed. It got really out of control. 459 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,120 -I mean, the kids just adored Mama. -Do they? 460 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,400 -And the parents adore Mama. -Do they? 461 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,480 Okay, here’s how we’re gonna play this. Right. 462 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:11,320 You don’t speak a word of English, all right? 463 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,840 I don't want to hear another word of English from you 464 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,920 until all this fucknutedness is over, yeah? 465 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,160 You don’t speak a word of Polish. 466 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,160 I'm fluent. 467 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,000 You don’t speak a word of the bastard, all right? 468 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,720 That’s the game. 469 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,640 It’s all about confusion, yeah? 470 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,800 You came out here as a little girl. 471 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,600 Your parents were constantly squabbling in Polish. 472 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,200 I mean they fought a little bit, but they didn’t-- 473 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,520 Your parents were constantly squabbling in Polish. 474 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,360 And that’s why you’ve never embraced the language, 475 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,640 because it stunted you emotionally, okay. 476 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,640 Hence your Mum and you have always had these kind of mix ups, 477 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,200 these constant misinterpretations. 478 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,800 It’s been an albatross around your neck since you were a little girl, 479 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,840 and that’s when you start to cry. 480 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,120 Oh, do I have to cry? 481 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,720 Yes, of course you have to cry! 482 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,920 Are you crazy? How long have you been working for me? 483 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,520 [fake cries] 484 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,960 There’s always been this void-- Void between us. 485 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:13,520 My mother and I, we just don’t understand each other as a mother and a daughter. 486 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,880 I... 487 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,600 I know I love her, but I don't know her. 488 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,640 I've been in Canberra. So busy. 489 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,160 I didn’t know she was running a creche. 490 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,480 And my partner Barney ran off with a Monica Bellucci lookalike. 491 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:36,200 And Cleaver Greene knows nothing about this! 492 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,640 -I get the picture, Cleaver. -Do you understand? 493 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,520 You don’t speak any English, okay? 494 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,320 Because you're about to be charged. Jakub will sort out the bail. 495 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,160 Do you understand? 496 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,800 Do you understand? 497 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,000 So you'll defend us? 498 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,680 I can’t defend you. I'm not at the Bar anymore. 499 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,640 I'm going to have to get an old friend to do it. 500 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,840 Or an old enemy. 501 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,280 So he wasn't arrested for terrorism? What was he arrested for? 502 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:11,240 His Chief of Staff’s mother was running a creche out of his Sydney office. 503 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,800 Misuse of public funds. 504 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,680 Oh, well, next best thing. 505 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,720 It’ll be an open trial, Cal. 506 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,280 -Jack, would you excuse us? -Sure. 507 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:23,320 Jane, you may want to excuse yourself as well. Seriously. 508 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,840 It’s about what happened in the new-- 509 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,320 Well, that is to say the former Parliament House. 510 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,840 Oh gee, is it the terrorists? Is there another plot, 511 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,600 because I am not backing away on a fight for this one, Joe. 512 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:47,120 It’s the last thing the people want to see. 513 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,640 Cal, there were no terrorists. 514 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,600 -What? -It was dodgy plumbing. 515 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:57,480 Stuffed electrics. Just a cigarette butt thrown at 516 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,000 some inappropriately placed cleaning products. 517 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,680 What are you saying? It was what, an accident? 518 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,320 It was just an accident. 519 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,280 But you guys were all over the news. From day one, it was terrorism. 520 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,280 Yeah, well we thought it was for a bit. 521 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:12,280 But you know, that was before we found out what actually happened from the plumbers. 522 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,640 Plumbers? What plumbers? 523 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,960 Oh, the ones who just drowned? The brothers? 524 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,760 As a matter of fact that was them. 525 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,200 -So what, we-- -Retrenched them. 526 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,440 That’s all. We retrenched them with extreme prejudice. 527 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,520 Jesus, why did you tell me this? 528 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:30,840 Because you’ve got a choice, Cal. 529 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,440 I have no choice! 530 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,040 I have to go straight to the cops with this one. 531 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,600 Legally, yes, but a number of us, Gareth, Angela, myself, 532 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,120 will probably spend the rest of our fucking lives in prison. 533 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,320 Oh, yeah, and what’d be the downside for me? 534 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,200 Your government would fall tomorrow, 535 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,880 and you'd be the shortest serving Prime Minister in this country’s history. 536 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,000 And what, you say Greene knows all about this? 537 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,400 I don't know what Greene knows. 538 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,080 And what, he’s facing an open trial? 539 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,400 I don't know how he’s going to get the evidence into it. 540 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,200 Oh, it’s Greene, you idiot! 541 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,840 He doesn't care if he gets it into evidence. 542 00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,840 He’s just gonna put on his circus act and all the press’ll cover it. 543 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,720 [whispers] Papa. 544 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,120 -What the hell? -What? 545 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,960 Your hair. 546 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,520 Oh, this? Oh, just trying out a new look. 547 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,360 Miss. 548 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,480 Oh God, really? Really? 549 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,680 Really? 550 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,280 Is this really all it takes, Fuzz? 551 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,960 Fuzz, it’s a stupid wig and glasses. 552 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:52,320 You know that if I take these off, um, I'm not a different person. 553 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,440 I'm the exact same person that you said that you loved. 554 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,160 You know, I imagined this being much more satisfying. 555 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,320 The wig and the glasses. 556 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,800 I mean, you know people have their things. Obsessions. 557 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,520 -Oh, yeah, fetishes? -Whatever. 558 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,440 It’s just it’s not necessarily something you can control. 559 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:16,760 Fuzz, you can’t lecture me about fetishes. 560 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,240 Yeah, I know. I mean, you wrote all about them. 561 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:24,440 I mean, come on, Miss. Guys in closets wearing rubber gloves and catsuits. I'm-- 562 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,640 Fuzz, I don't care how old she is. 563 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:30,200 I know I've done a lot of weird shit in a previous life. 564 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,240 You know what? Shocking as it may seem, 565 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,520 I feel like I've reached a point where 566 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,880 I want someone who just wants me. 567 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,320 Fuck. 568 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,280 So I've just been trying to do a deal with the DPP, right, 569 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,200 but the government wants my seat, so they want me out. 570 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,200 So I'm basically looking at three years in the slammer if I don’t do a deal, 571 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,560 but if I plead guilty, that’s the end of my political career, 572 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,160 so I'm basically fucked, mate. I am fucked. 573 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,680 And to say nothing of the fact that I'm about to lose a digit or two, 574 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,880 so Fuzzy, if you could possibly see your way clear, mate, 575 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,200 if you’ve got 90 lying around in a sock drawer somewhere, 576 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:27,960 now would be the time to whip it out. 577 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,600 Missy’s playing mind games with me. 578 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,000 Did you hear what I just said? 579 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:38,200 Mate, I've made this observation about your generation before, about listening. 580 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:39,920 She was wearing a wig. 581 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,560 -I rest my case. -It was silvery grey. 582 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,440 Fuck, mate, 583 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:48,960 well, silvery grey wig, you'd like that, wouldn’t you, with your special needs. 584 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:52,600 She had these glasses on. I always had a thing for women in glasses. 585 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,280 Oh, well, yeah, let’s just have a chat about that. 586 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,800 Let’s talk about that, as opposed to 587 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:02,040 the fact that your old man’s gonna end up back in the fuckin' clink again. 588 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,040 Sorry. 589 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,880 Dad, she knows I'm a Californian resident. She’s probably 590 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,000 -freezing my assets as we speak. -Freezing your assets? 591 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,160 Right. Okay. 592 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,360 So that’s-- And that’d be where any kind of potential 593 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,680 loany thing might be coming from. 594 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,560 Yep. It’s where the money is. 595 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,120 See, that’s no good. 596 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,880 I'm about to start shedding fingers. 597 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,200 All right, mate, I'll be back in a jiffy, okay? 598 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,000 -This has to stop. -What? 599 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,080 You can’t punish Fuzz. 600 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,880 -Oh, can’t punish Fuzz? -No. 601 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,360 On what basis would I not want to punish Fuzz? 602 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:43,800 Compassion. 603 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,960 -[chuckles] Compassion? -Come on. 604 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,280 Come on, I've shown you compassion, haven’t I, 605 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,760 over the last years or so, when you’ve needed it. 606 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,040 -Oh, Cleave. -Yeah? 607 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,760 I don't know if compassion has really been the mixer 608 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,520 in the cocktail of our relationship. 609 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,520 You cannot freeze his US assets. 610 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,000 That would be a disaster for him, for you, for Winny. 611 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,240 I mean, that would put her in a very vulnerable situation. 612 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,000 Freeze his US assets. I didn’t even think of that. 613 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,600 Well, good, because that’s a terrible idea. 614 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,200 That would give me a lot of bargaining power, wouldn’t it? 615 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:16,840 Just let’s turn the heat down on this whole... 616 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:18,560 And now he’s a resident of California, 617 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,480 the courts are very sympathetic to abandoned mothers. 618 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:25,680 Abandoned? Come on! This is the father of your beautiful daughter. 619 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:27,320 Where’s your humanity? 620 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,000 How much do you need from him? 621 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:32,960 Ninety. 622 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,160 -[scoffs] -Quickly. 623 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,200 Look, Cleave, I don't want to hurt him badly, 624 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,240 but I think it’s only fair that he feels some pain. 625 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,240 And I've already spoken to a hot-shot lawyer in San Francisco. 626 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,040 Oh, see that’s a terrible-- 627 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,400 You don’t need some smartarse Friscan prick coming in here 628 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,840 and stealing 40% of your income. That’s a terrible idea. 629 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,800 We’re family. We sort this shit out tonight. Come on. What sort of a split are you after? 630 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,760 70-30 his way, current and future assets. 631 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,840 Four grand a week maintenance. 632 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,920 That’s for rent, clothing, schooling, holidays, 633 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,960 everything Winny needs until she’s 18. 634 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,600 Okay. 635 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,160 Can’t make any promises. 636 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,880 50-50 is what she’s after, mate. 637 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,600 -No. -50-50 on the assets. 638 00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:19,960 Ten grand for Winny until she’s 25. 639 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,640 -Ten fucking grand? -That’s where we are. 640 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,760 Are you-- This is fuckin' bullshit. 641 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,520 -Well, it’s where she is, mate. -It’s bullshit, mate. 642 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,200 I can do better in California. I'll get a fucking team of lawyers. 643 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,880 -A fucking division of them. -You think you could-- 644 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,600 And she’ll fuckin' pay me, mate. 645 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,560 -No, don’t talk like that. Listen, -Fuck! 646 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,960 there’s a chance it’s just an opening gambit, all right? 647 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,160 Oh, mate, I am finding this too stressful. 648 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:40,480 Yes, I can see that. 649 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,320 If you can sort this out tonight, 650 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,000 then I will look after you. 651 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,480 Yeah? Okay. 652 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,360 Well, that’s very kind, thank you. 653 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:56,560 Okay. What about we say something like 654 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,760 -70-30 your way on the assets. -Yup. 655 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,200 And something like 656 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:07,640 four grand for Winny a week until she finishes school. 657 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,400 Okay. Yeah, yeah, if you could-- Mate, if you could do that-- 658 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,360 -I'll try. No promises. -Oh, fuck. 659 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:18,639 Okay, he has reluctantly accepted your terms. 660 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,719 I have prepared a short form memorandum of understanding. 661 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,120 Both copies are in with Fuzz as we speak. 662 00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:25,520 You should sign them tonight 663 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,280 and I can get it into the proper legal sewer on your behalf, okay? 664 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,480 So I will be needing my 90 grand pretty much tomorrow, 665 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:39,320 and I would appreciate you backing me up on that as a term of the MOU. 666 00:34:40,159 --> 00:34:41,679 Fine. 667 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:43,679 Good. 668 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,520 Hey, what’s going on? 669 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:07,840 Oh, just putting out another one of life’s little spot fires. 670 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,160 You're welcome. 671 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,480 [singing] Terry is a monkey And he's very funky 672 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:17,160 Does he have to parade around like a sex pest? 673 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,560 Can we get him a full length dress, do you think? 674 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,440 Bananas, bananas, let’s go bananas 675 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,640 Mate, nobody’s laughing. 676 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,520 You and me 677 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,720 -[Missy moaning] -What’s that? 678 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,000 Is that Fuzz and Missy? 679 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,640 [Fuzz moaning] 680 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,320 Oh, what’d you say to them? 681 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,160 What are they doing? 682 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,400 What are they doing? 683 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,040 -Fuck off, Cleave. -Oh, are you done? 684 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,720 [Missy moans loudly] 685 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,240 [Fuzz grunts] 686 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,160 Oh come on, that’s-- It’s not a-- 687 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:51,280 It’s not a barn, you know. 688 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,640 [Fuzz] Come. 689 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,920 Oh, that’s hilarious. 690 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,400 That's great, guys. Oh, I'm cacking myself. 691 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,160 -[Missy laughing] -Great. Really fun. 692 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,240 -Where are my memoranda of understanding? -Why? 693 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,760 Because it's your way of getting 90 grand? No. But that-- There was more to it than that. 694 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,320 Well what was it, Cleave, because we don’t want to sign it. 695 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,960 We think we can come to an agreement on our own terms, 696 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,840 in our own time, if we even have to. 697 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:24,240 We had a perfectly good, functioning divorce going, 698 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:28,720 and you two have just treated it with complete contempt. 699 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,960 Also, I never asked for a 50-50 split, Cleave. 700 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,200 It was a negotiation, guys. 701 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,720 Neither of you is a lawyer. 702 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,840 You were trying to shake us down. 703 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,800 That is... I wasn't asking for a gift from you. 704 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,240 I was trying to get a loan, okay, 705 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,240 from my own flesh and blood. 706 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,120 -Too much to ask-- -A loan to you is a gift, Cleave. 707 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,000 Wow. Well, that’s just lovely 708 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:58,400 and I'm glad you're both having a good laugh and you're all so happy. 709 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,400 Well, one thing’s for sure. You can say goodbye to this. 710 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,360 Cleave, this isn’t about you. 711 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,040 Yes it is. What do you mean, it’s not about me? 712 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,840 It’s as much about me as it is about you. 713 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,520 You just think it’s not about me because you think it’s just about you. 714 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:19,920 Stop it. 715 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,080 So what, are you gonna get married or something? 716 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,080 Yeah. We’re gonna have a big white wedding 717 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,200 and we’re going to have roses strewn down the aisle 718 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,640 and John Paul Young is hopefully going to sing Love Is In The Air 719 00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:35,000 and there’s gonna be tulle everywhere, especially on the men. 720 00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:36,880 Right, so that’s a no. 721 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,480 He is your son. 722 00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:42,920 Mm-hmm. 723 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,040 But I am happy though. 724 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:49,640 -Really? -Yeah. 725 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,080 Scarily so. 726 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,000 Well, good. ‘Cause you deserve to be. 727 00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,600 Yeah, I know I do. 728 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,960 Checkmate. 729 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,040 -What? No. -Mmm. 730 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,880 What, six moves? 731 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,600 [Wendy chuckling] 732 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,120 I'm very good at this game. 733 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,200 Yeah, well three games in 20 minutes, I can tell. 734 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,720 On our second date I played with Cleaver 735 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,160 and I thrashed him so badly that he refused to ever play me again. 736 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,400 [laughing] 737 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,080 Why does that not surprise me? 738 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,800 Do you want to play scrabble? 739 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,600 Well, that depends. How good are you at scrabble? 740 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:40,680 I'm even better at scrabble than I am at chess. 741 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,680 -Really? -Especially if it’s dirty scrabble. 742 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,960 Ah. You wanna play dirty scrabble. 743 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,000 Oh my God, if I get an F and a K 744 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:50,440 and I play it on a triple word, you are gone. 745 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:51,760 [laughs] 746 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,760 So, um, does that mean maybe tonight we will... 747 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,280 It’s been so nice kissing and fooling around and, 748 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,720 you know, but we’re not going to be a couple, David. You know that. 749 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,600 Yeah. 750 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,400 It’s just I've been looking after other people my whole life, you know. 751 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,160 I do it for a living and I... 752 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:19,920 I really need to look after myself. 753 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,800 And I can only do that on my own. 754 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,400 And I know, I know there is someone out there for you, 755 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,000 and she will be amazing. 756 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,400 And she will come out of nowhere, 757 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:35,400 and she won’t be a politician or a therapist or a callgirl 758 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,880 or a, you know, lawyer. 759 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,760 She’ll just be meant for you. 760 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:46,360 And sincerely, my wish for you is that you can just surrender to your life 761 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,440 and fuck off the instruction manual. 762 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,560 Well, me, too. 763 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,560 Evening. 764 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:08,640 -Couple of things... -Before you start 765 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,000 just let me tell you this. 766 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:16,480 You are an idiot for losing that woman. Do you know that? 767 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,280 -Oh, is that right, mate? -That’s right. Thanks for helping me out with that. That’s great. 768 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,600 Here’s a couple of things for you, okay? 769 00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:28,400 If you're going to be spending any length of time in this house, 770 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:32,240 I would appreciate if you didn’t do it in Wendy’s nighties, okay? 771 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:36,200 ‘Cause I find that a little offensive to mine eye, if you understand. 772 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,040 Exactly why did you give her up? 773 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:39,680 -Why did you-- -Mate, that’s my business! 774 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,520 -Was it for fun? -I'm a free spirit. 775 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,160 -You wouldn’t understand. -You know what? 776 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:46,280 A free spirit? Do you know what? 777 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,800 -If that is being you... -I'm like Bowie, or Marley. 778 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,120 ...then I don't wanna be you. 779 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,040 Mate, you couldn’t be me if your fuckin' life depended on it. 780 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,080 -Look at you! -Look at me? 781 00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:58,920 And then look at me, all right? 782 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,640 -That’s why you couldn’t be me. -Is that right? 783 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:04,320 Yeah. Regrettably, you are you. 784 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,680 -Do you know what you are? -You're a dirty ibis. 785 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,040 You're a human turd. 786 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,440 Mate, you're a fuckin' turd. 787 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:12,520 [grunts] 788 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,640 Get outta here! Oh, mate, I got a lot of this! 789 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,200 -Don’t start me! -I got a lot of this! 790 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,200 You’ve got your shirt... Yeah, you do have a lot more-- 791 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,680 Turd! Turd! Turd! 792 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:27,600 [groans] 793 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,040 Are they really that delicate? 794 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,680 [groans] Oh, you're fucking kidding me. 795 00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,920 Oh! Oh! Oh, God. 796 00:41:38,240 --> 00:41:40,360 You know I really need a drink. 797 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,920 See, now you really sound like me. 798 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:49,280 So, 799 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,040 new Parliament House, 800 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,960 by which I mean the former Parliament House. 801 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,320 What? 802 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,200 You're on the Committee of Inquiry, aren’t you? 803 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:02,760 Yes, yeah. 804 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,240 How they gained access, whatever shit they used 805 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,000 but, you know, the science isn’t easy, so... 806 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,480 See, I think shit might be the operative word. 807 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,240 What do you mean? 808 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,640 Well, I have a feeling the whole thing might have been about poo. 809 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,240 -Poo. -Poo. 810 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:21,760 Why do you say that? 811 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,760 Well, you know, those two plumbers who died? 812 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,400 The ones who drowned? 813 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,720 They came to my place a while back and they did a bit of work. 814 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,480 And they were interesting guys, and we got to talking. 815 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:38,400 And they were sent in under the tarp, 816 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:41,640 and then a short time later... [clicking tongue] 817 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:44,520 Why have you sat on this? 818 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,480 Well, because they're dead now, 819 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,280 which puts us in a very tricky position in terms of evidence, 820 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,600 and because it’s me and nobody’s gonna believe me. 821 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,520 -That’s true. -And if I'm right, 822 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,240 I don't want to fuck it up. But that’s where you come in. 823 00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,560 So your theory is that this was basically sloppy maintenance 824 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,520 made to look like a terrorist attack for political purposes. 825 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,120 -That’s the theory. -Christ. 826 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,240 My committee doesn't sit for another month. 827 00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,320 Even then without witnesses, 828 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:23,680 I mean, we’re talking about two, possibly three, Prime Ministers lying. 829 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,920 -Mm-hmm. -Well, how do we get it out there? 830 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,960 Here’s the thing. I was thinking, my creche case. 831 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,440 -What’s the relevance? -Mate, it's me. 832 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,320 -You representing yourself? -Yes. 833 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,440 But I'm gonna need your back up. 834 00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:46,960 Okay? And I've sought out a reliable old enemy 835 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,560 to represent Nicole and her Mum. 836 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,280 We are all children of someone, are we not? 837 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,600 Of lesser or greater gods? 838 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:04,240 As seven year olds, we all looked upon our futures assuming a rosy disposition. 839 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,080 Why should life turn grey and thorny? 840 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:14,720 One of the beauties of life is understanding myriad pricks 841 00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,200 maintain a majestic, pink rose-- 842 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:24,120 Ms Huntley-Brown, is there a point that your argument is searching for? 843 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,720 With the greatest respect, Your Honor, 844 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:30,240 there is a question of context, which I'm sure you would appreciate. 845 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,320 Not quiet yet, no. 846 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:36,320 Really? The concept of governments hiding the truth 847 00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:40,080 is as ancient as the concept of government itself. 848 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,240 Your Honor, a shabby blue tarpaulin 849 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:47,280 has shrouded our national parliament for some months, 850 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:50,040 and that is not just a metaphor, that is a deceit! 851 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:53,000 Ms Huntley-Brown, what has that got to do 852 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,920 with a case about the misuse of public funds 853 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000 regarding an office in Sydney? 854 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,000 I will see counsel in my chambers. 855 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:02,720 [attendant] All rise. 856 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,640 What the fuck is going on, Hunter? 857 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:08,040 I'll tell you what’s going on. 858 00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,360 There’s a giant blue condom hanging over our parliament. 859 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,000 Forgive me, but I can’t see the connection. 860 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,600 If something horrible is happening to Parliament House, and it clearly is, 861 00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,360 that is deeply regrettable. 862 00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,280 But what has it got to do with this case? 863 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,360 Reggie, the government is trying to cover up its own negligence. 864 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:29,240 Their efforts to silence Senator Greene and Senator Potter’s Committee of Inquiry, 865 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,800 and their staff, is beyond sinister. 866 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,080 The dead plumbers. 867 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,560 Do you really believe that was an accident? 868 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:37,840 What? 869 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:43,320 I don't know how to express myself more clearly. 870 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,520 I do not want this argument going on! 871 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,400 It is irrelevant! 872 00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,720 I'm going to have to excuse myself. 873 00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,120 Very nice. 874 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:06,880 [sighs] 875 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,040 -Your Honor. -Senator. 876 00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:18,360 -Oh, Senator. -Senator Potter. 877 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:19,720 Your Honor. 878 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,320 The passing of the Chief Justice is a great blow to us all. 879 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:25,800 Indeed. 880 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,880 Not sure if you're aware, Your Honor, 881 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,960 but Senator Potter here is a member of the Senate Judicial Advisory Committee 882 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,160 with the responsibility of advising the Attorney General 883 00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:38,640 on judicial appointments. 884 00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:41,680 You went to University with the Attorney, didn’t you? 885 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,040 Oh, well, I certainly did, yes. 886 00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,280 Oh, just out of curiosity, has... 887 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,920 Has the Attorney indicated any replacement for the late Chief Justice? 888 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,280 Ah, no, but there is a short list. 889 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,040 Changing the subject completely, 890 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,880 I've prepared what might be described as an amicus brief 891 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,760 for Senator Greene. 892 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:08,880 Background information that were he allowed to tender 893 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,520 might prove useful in these proceedings. 894 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,120 I see. 895 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:18,480 Right. 896 00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,520 And what about the matter of relevance? 897 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,920 -How do I deal with that? -Well, look, Your Honor, 898 00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,680 in the unlikely event it should prove irrelevant, 899 00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,920 you could always instruct the jury to disregard it. 900 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,200 Yeah, yeah, I could do that. 901 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,320 In the interests of justice. 902 00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,280 -Your Honor. -Your Honor. 903 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:48,480 Your Honor, the attempts by this government to silence me and my staff 904 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,520 have reached such an egregious level 905 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,480 that they now want to lock us up for looking after children. 906 00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:59,280 That is what government has become in this country. 907 00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,120 If your enemies won’t shut up, 908 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,360 lock 'em up for pastoral care. 909 00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:04,800 Quite frankly, Your Honor, 910 00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,400 after repeated attempts on my life, 911 00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,600 I feel quite lucky to be standing here. 912 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,960 Objection, Your Honor. 913 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,960 This is entirely irrelevant. 914 00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,760 Overruled. 915 00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:25,360 You may continue, Senator Greene. 916 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,800 Thank you, Your Honor. 917 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:38,480 Your Honor, there was no terrorist attack on Parliament House. 918 00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,080 It was, quite simply, a matter of poor plumbing. 919 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,400 Holy fuckin' camoley! See, I told you he’d get it in. 920 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:47,760 We have to shut this trial down. 921 00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,200 -Get the DPP to end it. -On what grounds? 922 00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,120 On whatever grounds you can come up with. Martians have invaded. I don't give a shit. 923 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,600 That’s why he’s got the job, if he wants the job. 924 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,520 And the serious option? 925 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,800 Can we risk it? 926 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:04,560 Two plumbers are already dead. 927 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,400 [Cal] That had nothing to do with me. 928 00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,960 We need to implode Parliament House. 929 00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:11,720 [Cal] Implode? What? 930 00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:14,680 Not on my watch. 931 00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:18,040 Cal, at some point the tarp is gonna have to come off, 932 00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,560 and some scientists who’ve been stripped of government funding 933 00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:25,480 are going to go in there and quickly discover there was no act of terrorism, 934 00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,440 just some dodgy fucking plumbing. 935 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,200 So we say, 936 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,920 that in order to preserve the water table, or whatever-- 937 00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:36,480 No, we say in order to preserve the city of Canberra, 938 00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:40,440 that that Parliament House, built under Labor’s watch is so toxic 939 00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,040 because of the terrorists, it has to come down. 940 00:49:43,720 --> 00:49:46,000 And we get to build a new one. 941 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:48,680 Thousands of jobs, tada! I get to save Canberra 942 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,120 and build a new Parliament. 943 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:58,520 Yes, Prime Minister, you do. 944 00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,560 Well, what about Greene? What about Potter? How do we shut them up? 945 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,480 Potter’ll shut up if we up the refugee budget by say, 946 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:05,720 I don't know, two hundred mill. 947 00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:07,800 Two hundred mill? Christ! 948 00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,720 Okay, okay, we can do that. 949 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,160 Greene? 950 00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:17,600 We’re not thinking... 951 00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:23,440 How can we? I mean, will any of us ever know sleep again if we do such a thing? 952 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:25,400 It’s either that 953 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:28,480 or we have to kill him. 954 00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:39,280 Please, allow me. 955 00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:48,920 Ah. 956 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:51,960 Thank you, mate. 957 00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,280 Oh, God, shit! 958 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:57,720 Oh, mate, why did you-- 959 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,400 Mate, I gave you a hundred grand from under my mattress! 960 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,120 Well, there’s still another 80. 961 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,840 But this will buy us more time with my people. I've got bandages. 962 00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:10,600 Hey. 963 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:13,960 -Hey. -Um... I've got you a present. 964 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,040 Oh. 965 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,320 Oh, wow. 966 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:27,760 Oh, it’s beautiful. 967 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,120 Oh, good. Um, I am-- 968 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:32,760 I just, um... 969 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,760 You know, it was really important to me that I 970 00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,920 acknowledge your resilience, you know, 971 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:42,760 and your tenacity 972 00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,920 and our long, complicated history together. 973 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,120 And it is history, you know. And-- 974 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,400 Oh, God, I haven’t done this for so long. 975 00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:56,680 But I loved you very much, you know? 976 00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:01,560 And we made a beautiful, complicated young man together. 977 00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:05,560 And I just really want you to know that despite all the nonsense, 978 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,600 I don’t regret a minute of it. 979 00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,240 That looks terrible. 980 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,280 No, it’s beautiful. 981 00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,320 Hey. 982 00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,040 Hey. [clicking tongue] 983 00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:41,560 Gidday, mate. 984 00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:43,680 -Hello puss. Oh. -[meowing] 985 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:45,200 [sniffs] 986 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,400 Princess! 987 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:54,960 [Cleaver laughing] 988 00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:56,680 How? 989 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,720 See, I've been getting up early, mate, 990 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,040 and going searching 991 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,160 and she just ran straight into my arms. 992 00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,680 I mean, she loves me. 993 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,200 You have a cudd-- You have a cuddle. I'll drive. 994 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,280 No, no, no, I'll drive. 995 00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,600 Well, no, I'm happy to drive. 996 00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,600 Hap... [sneezes] 997 00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,000 Oh, mate. 998 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,480 Hey, Cleaver, 999 00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:29,840 I'm thinking, 1000 00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,640 don't worry about the remaining 80 grand. 1001 00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:35,440 It’s forgiven. 1002 00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,320 All I really wanted was to have my Princess back. 1003 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,920 Great. Thanks, mate. Good on ya. 1004 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,560 I, Cleaver Augustus Greene, 1005 00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,800 do swear allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, 1006 00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:58,720 her heirs and successors according to law, 1007 00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:03,520 that I will well and truly serve her and her successors 1008 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:07,680 in the office of Chief Justice in the High Court of Australia. 1009 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:12,480 And that I will do right to all manner of people according to law 1010 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,320 without fear or favor, 1011 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,800 affection or ill will. 1012 00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:20,720 So help me God. 1013 00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:29,480 It’s actually against the law to finger the Chief Justice’s robes in this way. 1014 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:30,960 It’s not. It’s manmade, isn’t it? 1015 00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:32,520 -Hands off, okay? -[Nicole] Hey. 1016 00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:35,360 -Oh, yes. -Mmm. 1017 00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,920 Jesus Christ on a bicycle. 1018 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,760 -Mmm. -Yes. Isn’t he just. 1019 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:42,520 -There we go then. -Yes. 1020 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,760 -Congratulations, Cleaver. -Oh, well, thank you mate. 1021 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,520 You know I own your arse now. 1022 00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:54,680 Oh, Cal, you’ve always been a shit lawyer, haven’t you? 1023 00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,040 Because I'm Chief Justice, 1024 00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:59,600 so I own your arse. 1025 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,520 [sneezes] 1026 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:23,520 So what’s on the agenda today, Jakub? 1027 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,760 Well, you have this case, Button and Deane. 1028 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,080 I could walk you through it. 1029 00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:29,800 Is it a yes or a no? 1030 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:31,360 Definitely a no. 1031 00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:35,120 Then there’s one involving my union, 1032 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:40,160 and whether we have overexercised our rates in terms of sub-contracting. 1033 00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:42,600 That’s a no as well, I take it. 1034 00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:45,960 In terms of equity, yes, Mr Chief Justice. 1035 00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:47,560 But you're the Judge. 1036 00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,520 [explosion] 1037 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,840 -Feel like a dip? -Okay, darling. 1038 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:38,520 Madame. 1039 00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,920 -Oh my God. -Are you okay? 1040 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,600 Cleave, no! 1041 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,280 -Bluebottle! -Oh! Hey! 1042 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:05,800 -Hey! -They love me! 1043 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,360 Can we get a little bit of help over here? 1044 00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:11,920 It’s the Chief Justice of Australia, just so you know! 1045 00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,240 -They’re not coming off! -Well, can you just shake your face? 1046 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:16,960 What, shut your face? Why? 1047 00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:18,960 Just shake your face! 1048 00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,400 Oh my God! Like there’s one almost in your ear!