1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,786 I don't see understand why someone would pay to see 2 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,483 a movie and then talk through the whole thing. 3 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,355 That was so cool when you flashed your badge at 'em. 4 00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:09,792 [imitating Mike] "If you people need to chat, we can chat downtown." 5 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,404 I'll be honest, it wasn't even my badge. 6 00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:16,668 It was York Peppermint Pattie. 7 00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:19,845 You wanna come in for a little while? 8 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:22,326 Uh, that sounds tempting, but I-I got an early morning. 9 00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:26,113 And I-I don't want to disturb your mom or your sister. 10 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,550 - They're not here. - Really? 11 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:32,032 Mom's taking a pole dancing class at the senior center. 12 00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,425 And my sister, well, she could be handcuffed 13 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,253 to just about anything right now. 14 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,257 That's interesting. So it'd be just the two of us. 15 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,868 - A nice round number. - I like round numbers. 16 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,870 That's good, 'cause you're kissing one. 17 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,445 I'm sorry, but, uh, I-I really have to go. 18 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,186 Oh. You sure? 19 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,754 Uh, yeah, as much as I'd love to stay, uh 20 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,973 I got to get my full eight hours to function properly. 21 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,714 Otherwise, I'm not clear-headed and.. 22 00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,151 ...I mistake a pickle for a gun and 23 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:06,240 bang! Somebody ends up dead. 24 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:11,071 Enough said. Thanks for the movie. 25 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,726 You're welcome. Goodnight. 26 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,293 Night. 27 00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,432 Okay, it's not me. 28 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,390 ♪ For the first time ♪ 29 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:29,785 ♪ In my life ♪ 30 00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:33,049 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 31 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:43,973 [instrumental music] 32 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,367 Can't believe it. I've lost two hats in one month. 33 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,195 Well, why do you think they call it the Windy City? 34 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,459 I don't know, Carl, 'cause it's windy? 35 00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,635 I've told you before, you should get yourself a chin strap. 36 00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:55,811 Sure, maybe add a little propeller on top 37 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:58,814 and just go full Tweedledum. 38 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,294 It's better than running through traffic screaming 39 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,122 "My hat, my hat!" 40 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:04,994 And what are you two bitches 41 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,301 fighting about today? 42 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,868 Just pour the coffee, Samuel. And I'll have my usual. 43 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,914 As you wish, tiny dancer. 44 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,658 I'm getting a little tired of the wisecracks about my size. 45 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,703 I'm a customer here, and I'd like to be treated as such. 46 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,009 He lose another hat? 47 00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:21,010 The thing popped off his head 48 00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:23,621 like a champagne cork. 49 00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:25,623 - Did he try to chase it? - About half a block. 50 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,016 I was trying to get video on my cell phone 51 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,539 but I was laughing too hard. 52 00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,109 So the motto, "What happens on the beat stays on the beat" 53 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,545 means nothing to you. 54 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,981 You didn't keep it to yourself that time 55 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,374 I pierced my nipple putting on my badge. 56 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,810 I had to tell people. 57 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:42,074 Everybody thought the smoke alarm was going off. 58 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,685 I still can't wear a leather vest without a shirt. 59 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:46,514 You shouldn't anyway. 60 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,385 So how was your date with Molly last night? 61 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,778 It was fine, we went to the movies 62 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,083 and then had a bite to eat after. 63 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,650 Now, correct me if I'm wrong. 64 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,174 But that's, like, the third date, isn't it? 65 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,349 Uh, yeah, give or take. 66 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,741 - So? - So, what? 67 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:57,786 So who was givin', and where 68 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,267 was she takin' it? 69 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:02,225 Whoa. Now, hang on, Carl. 70 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,792 This is a nice girl you're talking about. 71 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,489 And I'm an old-fashioned guy. 72 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,970 We're just gonna take our time and not rush into anything. 73 00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:09,493 You sure it's not because you don't want her 74 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,539 to see your big, naked, pasty-white heinie? 75 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,456 What? Wh-where's this coming from? 76 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,197 I'm just saying, I know you're sensitive about your size. 77 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,633 And the idea of taking your clothes off 78 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,461 in front of a woman must be a scary thing. 79 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,071 Please. I don't have a problem with that. 80 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,900 It's just that I'm a gentleman and I-I care about her. 81 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,163 You're also a busty man who wears a T-shirt in the shower. 82 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,211 Don't act like I don't know you, 'cause I do. 83 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,864 You don't know me like you think you do. 84 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,476 There's levels to me. I run very deep. 85 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,999 You sure don't run very fast 86 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,131 'cause your hat's in Skokie right about now. 87 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,222 You know what, Carl? You're full of crap. 88 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,093 And I don't have to sit here and listen to this. 89 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,226 Breakfast is served. 90 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,842 It's a dilemma for sure. 91 00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,588 If my blood sugar wasn't low, I'd be out of here, pal. 92 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,507 Do you think that cop spent the night? 93 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,291 I have no idea. 94 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,728 But I'm sure when his feet hit the floor, we'll know it. 95 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,601 Hey. 96 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,255 - Mornin'. - Mornin'. 97 00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,868 You're getting a pretty late start. 98 00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,218 Well, a bottle of schnapps and a half a bag of Oreos 99 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,916 knocked me on my ass. 100 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,179 And the sweet, sweet lovin', right? 101 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,356 How was it? Was it good? 102 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,140 Is he still up there? 103 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,837 No, he's not still up there. 104 00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,404 He never even made it in the house. 105 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,972 Ooh. You did it on the porch? 106 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,280 That'll teach the people next door 107 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,282 for puttin' up that ugly mailbox. 108 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,372 Is there something wrong with me? 109 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,069 I practically threw myself at him 110 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,158 and he ran out of here like he heard an ice cream truck. 111 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:52,944 Well, maybe he did hear an ice cream truck. 112 00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:55,773 No. I just don't think he's attracted to me. 113 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,209 I mean, that was the third date. 114 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,342 That's usually the come-and-get-it date, right? 115 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,865 Well, for your sister, it's usually 116 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,215 the come-and-get-it- for-the-third-time date. 117 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,219 Were you giving him clear signals? 118 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,310 'Cause he looks like he's eaten his share of paint chips. 119 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,618 I did everything, but lift my skirt 120 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,794 and fire a starter's pistol. 121 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,232 You know what I'd do if I'm with a guy 122 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,669 that's not getting it? 123 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:22,844 I pull out one of my boobs 124 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:24,802 and start smacking him in the face. 125 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,242 There you go. Give him a good boob smack. 126 00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,551 I just don't think I have the personality 127 00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,031 to pull that off. 128 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,947 Maybe he wants to take things slow. 129 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,123 Get to know you before you leap into bed. 130 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:44,692 Yeah, 'cause that's what guys do. 131 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,347 You know what? No. I'm too old to play these games. 132 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,349 I-I lead a rich, full life. 133 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,655 And I don't need him or any other man 134 00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:52,743 to validate me. 135 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,658 You go, girl. 136 00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:57,182 Okay, we got to find her a fella before she fills this house up 137 00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,533 with crucifixes and pussycats. 138 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:03,580 [instrumental music] 139 00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:21,468 Well, I think you look very distinguished. 140 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:22,643 Like one of those guys that guards 141 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,385 the Queen of England. Regal. 142 00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,606 I look like I'm baking bread in my neck. 143 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,001 [cell phone ringing] 144 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,570 Hello? Oh, hey, Molly. 145 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:37,919 I'm glad you called. 146 00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,442 About tonight, listen, I was thinking 147 00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:42,184 maybe we could grab an early dinner and.. 148 00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:44,752 Oh, really? Stomach flu, huh? 149 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,755 She's got the trots. 150 00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,583 Yeah, you don't want to be too far away from home 151 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,455 with that going on. That's a mistake you only make once. 152 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,501 You had to buy a new hat after that too, huh? 153 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,156 Do you mind? 154 00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,463 Listen, I hope you feel better. 155 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,378 And I'll call you in a couple days. 156 00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,685 Okay. Bye-bye. 157 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,862 Poor thing. She's got it both ends, no waiting. 158 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,342 Uh-huh. You believe that story? 159 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,040 Why wouldn't I? 160 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,042 Well, in my experience, when a woman cancels a date 161 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,958 the night of, she's not really sick. 162 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,307 And her uncle's not really dead 163 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,351 and her hamster doesn't really need 164 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,049 hip replacement surgery. 165 00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,270 Trust me, I know when a woman's into me. 166 00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:26,968 And this woman is into me big-time. 167 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,056 You should have seen her last night. 168 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,579 She was all over me. 169 00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:30,928 Well, then, why'd you put the brakes on? 170 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,756 I told you, it's because we're taking it slow. 171 00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,454 It's got nothing to do with my weight. 172 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,977 Hey, I didn't say a word. 173 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,196 That's it. Pull over! 174 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,677 - What? - Pull the car over! 175 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,244 Alright. 176 00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:43,506 You know, you think you know everything 177 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,682 but you don't know squat. 178 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:47,205 Where are you going? 179 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,904 - I'm walking. - Suit yourself. 180 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,123 [Mike] 'Crap!' 181 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,476 [wind whooshing] 182 00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,044 What are you waiting for? Follow that hat! 183 00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:03,483 [siren blaring] 184 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,355 So, let me get this straight. 185 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,792 It's a show about guys 186 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,055 driving trucks across icy roads? 187 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:16,278 Well, there's a lot more to it than that. 188 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:19,499 Sometimes the trucks are hauling lumber. 189 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,545 'Sometimes metal pipes.' 190 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:29,247 One time, this guy was hauling a giant moose in a cage. 191 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:33,295 - What for? - I don't know. 192 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:35,776 I guess somebody needed a moose. 193 00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,738 [doorbell rings] 194 00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,526 - Are you stoned? - You're not? 195 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,401 - Hello. - How are you? 196 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,621 - You Molly? - I am. Can I help you? 197 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,188 Name's Moranto. Vincent Moranto. 198 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,668 I'm a friend of your mother's. 199 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,278 Okay. 200 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:01,628 Well, you going to ask me in? 201 00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:04,369 Uh, I wasn't planning on it. 202 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,676 Oh. It's alright. Your mom and I go way back. 203 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,112 I own my own business. 204 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,332 I make the little pillows they use on airplanes. 205 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,768 Lot of money in those little pillows 206 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,162 if you're willing to overlook child labor laws. 207 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,512 Okay. 208 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,122 Your mom tells me you're single. 209 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,864 Yeah, hang on a second. Mom! 210 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,388 Whoa! 211 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,303 Set of lungs on you, huh? 212 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,262 I like a woman who's not afraid to let go. 213 00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,698 Shows passion. 214 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,526 I like passionate women. 215 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,659 You must be the other daughter. 216 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,965 You're stacked like a deli sandwich. 217 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:39,274 Vince, what a surprise. 218 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,842 What surprise? You called me, told me to come over. 219 00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:46,890 - Did you meet Molly? - Yes, mom, we met. 220 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,327 Vince is a widower. 221 00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,895 I'm sorry to hear that. 222 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,594 Hey, people live, people die. What are you gonna do? 223 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,728 The good news is I'm still a vibrant man 224 00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,165 with a lot of love to give the right woman. 225 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,906 Thank you, Viagra. 226 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,302 Vince's wife was a little on the heavy side 227 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,390 wasn't she, Vin? 228 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,044 Precious little butterball. 229 00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,916 Had a thing for pistachio ice cream. Ate it by the bucket. 230 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:15,484 Okay, well, nice to meet you. 231 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:18,052 Mom, can I talk to you privately? 232 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,967 - Excuse us. - No problem. 233 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:22,012 Doesn't kick in for an hour. 234 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:26,495 By the way, if this don't play out with your sister 235 00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,758 I am on you like stink. 236 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:31,935 - What the hell are you doing? - What? 237 00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:35,286 Just introducing two nice people. What's your problem? 238 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,506 The guy's got 20 years on me, easily. 239 00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,203 So he'll die sooner and leave you 240 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,728 with a nice house and a lot of little pillows. 241 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,950 Look, I know in your own weird way 242 00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,909 you're trying to help, but don't, okay? 243 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,867 Just go talk to the man. 244 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,217 He drove all the way over from Evanston. 245 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:56,351 And with cataracts to boot. 246 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,440 - I got to get out of here. - Hey! 247 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,485 You leave me alone with him, you might come home 248 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,618 to find out you've got a new daddy. 249 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,709 [instrumental music] 250 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,713 Hi, I'm Marty. And I'm an overeater. 251 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:11,801 [in unison] Hi, Marty. 252 00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,324 Since I've been in the program 253 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,239 I've lost twelve and a half pounds. 254 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,502 Bite me, Marty. 255 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,722 Anyway, it's been a really inspiring week for me. 256 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:22,116 I finished third in the Chicago triathlon. 257 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,771 My new abs video is selling like gangbusters. 258 00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:27,861 Look at me, I can do a sit-up. 259 00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:31,212 And best of all, I got engaged to that beautiful swimsuit model 260 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,214 I was telling you about last week. Rhiannon. 261 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,520 I hope she gives you the clap. 262 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:38,088 [Marty] '...my battle with food better than her.' 263 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,829 'I mean, I know right now I look like I'm winning..' 264 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:41,788 - Molly? - '...fight, but it's a life..' 265 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,746 Ah, crap. 266 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,356 [indistinct chattering] 267 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,880 Molly, wait! 268 00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,448 'Molly, wait. Molly.' 269 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,321 Molly! 270 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:57,978 Hey, Molly! 271 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,764 Molly! Hey! 272 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,463 Yo, Molly, slow down! 273 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,816 Where you going? Hey! 274 00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,600 Molly. Come on. 275 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,781 Molly! 276 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:24,091 Molly, stop, please! I'm begging you. 277 00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,746 [both panting] 278 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,357 Why'd you run away? 279 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,402 I don't want to see you anymore. 280 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,799 I don't want to see you anymore. 281 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:41,021 [instrumental music] 282 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,595 [instrumental music] 283 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:55,862 Lot of pretty ladies here tonight, huh, Samuel? 284 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:58,734 Shall we begin our approach? I'm fully engorged. 285 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,998 Whoa, slow down, brother. 286 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,044 You never buy the first car you see on the lot. 287 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,176 And also remember not to set your sights too high. 288 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:09,136 Are you telling me to pursue ugly women? 289 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,747 Because an ugly woman I can get without your help. 290 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:17,013 - Hey. - What happened to you? 291 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,015 - Molly dumped me. - Oh. 292 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:21,496 And you were right, she was lying about being sick. 293 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,933 Yeah, women don't usually play the diarrhea card 294 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,501 until they're done with you. 295 00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,285 I thought she was the one, Carl. 296 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,331 I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with that woman. 297 00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:31,375 With the way you are breathing 298 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:32,420 that would have been 299 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,378 just another 20 minutes. 300 00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:38,252 A little sympathy right now would be appropriate. 301 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:39,644 I'm really hurting. 302 00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:42,256 Your self-pity shrivels my gonads. 303 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:44,867 What? 304 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:45,912 Do you know in the village 305 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,043 I grew up in, a large man 306 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,653 like you gets all the women? 307 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:49,959 - Really? - 'Oh, yes.' 308 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,482 A sizeable man represents 309 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,049 great wealth and power. 310 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,095 You go to my country, you get more ass 311 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,053 than an elephant's back. 312 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,189 That's something to think about. 313 00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,234 Location, location, location. 314 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:11,241 Another pitcher of beer and more pretzels for my men! 315 00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,156 No, no. No more pretzels. 316 00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:14,462 You've had enough pretzels. 317 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:15,942 You're supposed to be on a diet. 318 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:17,639 The hell with diets! 319 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,859 Why should I struggle to maintain this figure 320 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,948 if nobody's ever gonna love me? 321 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,169 Hey, I love you. 322 00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,347 Thanks, man. I appreciate that. 323 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,743 You're not gonna say it back, are you? 324 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,356 Selfish son of a bitch. 325 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,404 If we are willing to take a risk 326 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,623 there's a girl's number on the stall door 327 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,799 and she is available to do anything. 328 00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,324 No, I already tried it. 329 00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,761 It was just some high school kid calling me a homo. 330 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,331 Hey, we don't need women. 331 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,681 I mean, they don't do anything, but cause problems. 332 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,161 He ain't wrong. 333 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,640 This would be a much better world 334 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:04,642 if there were no women mucking it up. 335 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,689 Just guys hanging out with other guys. 336 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,952 Not to be a stick-in-the-mud 337 00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:13,042 but I am not drunk enough for what you are implying 338 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,305 and you are implying stick in the mud. 339 00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,264 Am I right? 340 00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,832 No. 341 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,618 I-I'm just saying that we can have fun w-without women. 342 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:27,013 Damn right. We're three single, attractive men. 343 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,406 - The world is our oyster. - 'Absolutely.' 344 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,278 We can go anywhere, do anything we want. 345 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:32,627 And we don't need women to do it. 346 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,194 - Where are we going? - Strip club. 347 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,022 Strip club! 348 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:41,853 Maybe we should just hit a white castle, call it a night. 349 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,594 No, no, we're not going home 350 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,640 till we see some naked female bodies. 351 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,686 Excuse me. 352 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:51,820 - Ndugu? - Go cubbies. 353 00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,084 Right. Uh, listen, my man. 354 00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:57,739 Could you please take us to the nearest strip club? 355 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,741 Bikini or all nude? 356 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,700 - I'm thinking all nude. - Definitely. 357 00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:05,616 If we're going bird watching, I want to see a bald eagle. 358 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,318 I wonder if some of those women don't feel comfortable 359 00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,494 getting totally nude. 360 00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:16,627 Well, then they should've finished high school. 361 00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:18,978 All I'm saying, maybe taking your clothes off 362 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,676 in front of strangers can be a little scary. 363 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,200 I knew it. 364 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,463 I knew that's what was going on with you. 365 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,161 You were right, Carl. 366 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,206 But I had to come to it myself. 367 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,208 Well, I should know not to push you. 368 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:35,690 Give me some love. 369 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,480 If they start kissing, pull over and I'll walk home. 370 00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,482 And by home I mean Africa. 371 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,271 Wait, wait, what do I say here? 372 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,490 Just start talking and see where the liquor takes you. 373 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,102 [doorbell rings] 374 00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,930 You're a good friend, Carl. I really do love you. 375 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,672 I'm sorry I hesitated before. 376 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:04,153 It's alright, man. I know what's in your heart. 377 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,677 And I love you, Samuel. 378 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,549 And I know when I get to know you better 379 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,116 I will love you. 380 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:14,250 - Ndugu. - And Ndugu to you, too. 381 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,214 What the hell is this, "The Little Rascals?" 382 00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:29,439 I apologize for the lateness of the hour, Mrs. Flynn 383 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,963 but I really need to talk to Molly. 384 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,922 Well, she doesn't wanna talk to you. 385 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,619 [door slams shut] 386 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,056 Eh, she didn't let the liquor 387 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,058 get a word in edgewise. 388 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:45,064 So, what now? Strip club? 389 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,761 No. 390 00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,677 So far this week, I've lost three hats and a girlfriend. 391 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:52,549 And I ain't calling it a night until I get one of them back. 392 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,728 Uh, what is the significance of 393 00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,382 "Three hats and a girlfriend?" 394 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:00,818 I don't know. 395 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:03,082 A lot of what they say is just gibberish to me. 396 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,609 [clattering] 397 00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:09,653 What the hell? 398 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,134 ♪ When chains are torn ♪ 399 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,441 ♪ By courage born ♪ 400 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,660 ♪ A time when dreams ♪ 401 00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:19,185 ♪ So long denied ♪ 402 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,970 ♪ Can flourish ♪♪ 403 00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,233 Sweet Jesus! What are you doin'? 404 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:27,454 Thy mother shall not keep me 405 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,412 from thy maidenhead. 406 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,241 Am I the only one touched 407 00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,678 by the romance of this moment? 408 00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:37,594 No. I feel it too. 409 00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,381 Yeah, it's a Hallmark moment until Romeo falls 410 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,470 and crushes us to death. 411 00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:46,647 Are you crazy? You're gonna kill yourself. 412 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,170 I don't care. 413 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,390 I need to tell you something. 414 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:53,784 The other night when we were kissing and you invited me in 415 00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,351 I panicked because I didn't want you 416 00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,962 to see me without my clothes on. 417 00:18:58,049 --> 00:18:59,529 What? Why? 418 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,531 I was hoping to lose a little weight first 419 00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:03,751 so you'd be turned on by me. 420 00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:07,189 Oh, Mike. How much weight are you talking about? 421 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,452 I don't know, 160 pounds. 422 00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,674 You idiot. 423 00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,066 I don't know if you've noticed this 424 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,199 but I'm not exactly perfect. 425 00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,289 You are to me. 426 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,336 - Get in here. - Alright. 427 00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:24,641 But I've had a lot to drink 428 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,209 and the first one might not be that great. 429 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:29,690 - Just get in here. - Uh.. 430 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:34,042 Mike? Mike? 431 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,522 [Mike snoring] 432 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,567 Now that's not something you see every day. 433 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,052 A house giving birth. 434 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,795 Hey, little help! 435 00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:50,363 [instrumental music] 436 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:54,671 Hey, Molly? 437 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,238 What? 438 00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,197 Tonight's probably not gonna happen. 439 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,895 I understand. 440 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:04,464 I just really want our first time to be perfect. 441 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,422 Me too. 442 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,817 I'm sorry if you felt like I was rushing things. 443 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:12,602 I just really wanted you. 444 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,302 I want you too. 445 00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,697 ♪ A time for love ♪♪ 446 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:21,959 Okay. 447 00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:24,788 Try and get a little sleep. 448 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:27,617 Yeah, sleep's good. 449 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:30,359 - Goodnight, Molly. - Goodnight, Mike. 450 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:36,278 Goodnight, Carl. 451 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,976 Goodnight, Mike. 452 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:42,066 - Goodnight, Molly. - Goodnight, Carl. 453 00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:44,634 - Goodnight, Samuel. - Goodnight, Molly. 454 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,204 [Mike] 'Goodnight, Samuel.' 455 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,684 [Samuel] 'Goodnight, Mike.' 456 00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:52,294 [Carl] 'Goodnight, Samuel.' 457 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:54,078 [Samuel] 'Goodnight, Carl.' 458 00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:57,081 [instrumental music] 459 00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,392 [theme music]