1 00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,394 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:04,787 Did you sleep okay? 3 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:07,094 Uh, yeah, pretty good. 4 00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:10,184 Are you sure? 'Cause I've been told I snore. 5 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,446 Who told you that? 6 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:12,577 My neighbors. 7 00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:15,015 Excuse me. 8 00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:16,451 Well, there were a couple of times 9 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:17,930 I thought I was sleeping next to a wood chipper 10 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,021 full of croquet balls. 11 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,935 Yeah, I'd use my sleep apnea machine 12 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,286 but it's got a breathing mask that I have to put over my face. 13 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,678 It's not very sexy. 14 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,637 - Wait, you have sleep apnea? - Yeah. 15 00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,813 The machine really helps cut down on the snoring. 16 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,077 For the love of God, use the machine. 17 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,818 Okay, I'll strap it on tonight. 18 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:36,949 Good. 19 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,821 Do you, uh, have any mouthwash? 20 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:41,780 Mm, yeah. 21 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,391 There you go. 22 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,262 Wow. 23 00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:46,655 That's mouthwash. 24 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:49,440 I thought it was wiper fluid. 25 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,007 You got a cup, or you just wanna 26 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,836 stick a funnel in my mouth? 27 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:56,012 Actually, the cap doubles as a cup. 28 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,580 - Allow me to pour you a skosh. - Oh. 29 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,582 By the way, you're, uh, container of all-in-one 30 00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:03,324 shampoo, conditioner and body wash is empty. 31 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:06,936 Yeah, I had to use it last night to pre-soak the dishes. 32 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,721 I'll pick up another jug on the way home. 33 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,028 You know, um, oh.. 34 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:15,162 Some people buy their shampoo and conditioner 35 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,467 in separate containers. 36 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:17,947 I know. Suckers. 37 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:20,036 Yeah. 38 00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,211 [gargling] 39 00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,474 Oh, okay. Alright. Alright. 40 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,738 Hey, where do you keep your hair dryer? 41 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:28,653 Uh, I don't have one. 42 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,438 Usually, I just shake dry like a Labrador . 43 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,614 I just.. 44 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,182 Uh, but I'll tell you what 45 00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,966 I'll pick you up one from Sam's club today. 46 00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:38,359 - Thanks. - Yeah. 47 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,882 I saw a demonstration on one there. 48 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,580 It was huge, like a sawed-off leaf blower. 49 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,843 Damn near blew a toddler out of the shopping cart. 50 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,062 [doorbell rings] 51 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:47,368 That's Carl. 52 00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,412 Don't forget to leave the seat up 53 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:49,805 when you're done. 54 00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:53,939 Oh, dear God, he's clueless. 55 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,639 ♪ For the first time ♪ 56 00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,163 ♪ In my life ♪ 57 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:04,036 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 58 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,312 So, has Molly asked you to empty out one of your dresser drawers 59 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,183 so she could fill it with her feminine doodads? 60 00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,185 Nah, she just brings a little overnight bag 61 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,492 with her stuff in it, she packs it in and packs it out 62 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,885 like a cat burglar that has sex with me. 63 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:31,020 You haven't found hair curlers on your toilet tank 64 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:33,588 or a couple of emergency tampons in your medicine chest? 65 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:34,763 Nope, she leaves the scene of the crime 66 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,112 exactly the way she found it. 67 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,549 And the only fingerprints are on me. 68 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:43,337 Nice, but be careful, I mean, women are nesters. 69 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:44,860 Sometimes they bring something of theirs over 70 00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,514 and claim it's a gift for you. 71 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:47,993 I remember once this woman I was seeing 72 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,560 brought over a personal vibrator. 73 00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:52,476 Like an idiot, I used it and started mixing margaritas. 74 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,393 You know, come to think of it 75 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,570 Molly recently gave me an agave scrub sponge. 76 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:02,617 - I'm sorry, a what? - An agave scrub sponge. 77 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:05,533 What it does is it scrapes all the dead skin off your body 78 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,491 leaving your silky smooth, feel this. 79 00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:08,927 No. 80 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,454 Seriously, it's like velvet. 81 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,934 Oh, man, that's really soft. 82 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,982 Samuel, touch that. 83 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,505 No, I will not touch your arm 84 00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:25,074 and I will not pull your finger...again. 85 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,163 Taunt the immigrant, very funny. 86 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,776 Now, see, I'm guessing that's something she brought over 87 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,909 for herself, but she's saying it's for you. 88 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,563 - You think? - Absolutely. 89 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:36,825 She's starting to move in. 90 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:39,044 But stay vigilant, protect your man-cave. 91 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,394 Now, tell me one more time 92 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:43,875 what's the name of that sponge? 93 00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,529 [instrumental music] 94 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,012 - Hey. - 'Hey, Mol.' 95 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,622 Got enough pizza there? 96 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:54,321 We figured out if your sister answers the door topless 97 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:55,757 we get it for free. 98 00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,630 Happy accident. 99 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:00,762 When the doorbell rang 100 00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,372 I thought it was the FedEx guy. 101 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:06,898 - You want a slice? - No. 102 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,291 I gotta get changed 103 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,814 and then I'm having dinner at Mike's. 104 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,338 Oh, isn't that nice. 105 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,296 Yeah, he wants to cook for me. 106 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:15,037 Probably bought a shipping crate full of spaghetti 107 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:17,735 and an oil drum of marinara. 108 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,911 How come you guys never stay here? 109 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:21,391 You mean other than the fact that you walk 110 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,437 around naked for free food? 111 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,876 He's a little shy, and his place is more private. 112 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,312 He's a screamer, huh? 113 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,969 I hate when guys scream in your ears. 114 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,927 Trick is, never let 'em near your ears. 115 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:38,887 - Oh. - Mm-hm. 116 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,977 [doorbell rings] 117 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,764 Hi, I brought a pizza. 118 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:49,724 Victoria, it's for you. 119 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:53,162 I'll get this one, honey, you did the last three. 120 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,817 Hey, you got garlic knots in there 121 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,558 I'll go grab my jump rope. 122 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,781 Is it my imagination or are we really starting 123 00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,130 to get the hang of this? 124 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,655 Mm-hm. Yeah, it was pretty terrific. 125 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,961 For a while there, it was like we were in the zone 126 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,223 working together as one 127 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,052 and anticipating each other's moves.. 128 00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:17,273 ...like the '05 White Sox. 129 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,407 Is that why you kept humming "Take me out to the ball game." 130 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:22,365 I had to, otherwise, I would've laid down a bunt 131 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:23,714 before I left the dugout. 132 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,675 Do you mind if I finish up 133 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:28,937 a little bit of work for tomorrow? 134 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,373 No, by all means, go ahead. 135 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,027 It's important that you feel at home here. 136 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:33,507 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 137 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:34,899 We just shared the most intimate thing 138 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,597 two human beings can share. 139 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:39,426 At this point, cracking open your laptop is almost redundant. 140 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,385 Well, thank you. 141 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,735 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 142 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:47,912 Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite. 143 00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,350 Which isn't as funny as it used to be 144 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,309 'cause I had this kid in my class that was.. 145 00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,745 Whoa. 146 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,929 If this is a turn-off, I can do without it. 147 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:10,282 No, no, I-I was a little startled but it's fine. 148 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,501 I know it looks a little strange 149 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,155 but it does keep me from snoring. 150 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:15,244 Which is what makes it so hot. 151 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:19,161 - Please leave it on. - Okey-doke. 152 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:20,815 You know, you can get different-colored head straps. 153 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:21,990 I went with basic black. 154 00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,861 Nice. Very slimming. 155 00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:28,126 Goodnight, Molly. 156 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,519 Goodnight, Mike. 157 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,579 [buzzing] 158 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,415 [snoring] 159 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:06,861 [snoring continues] 160 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,797 [snoring] 161 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,212 [urinating] 162 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,345 [Mike groaning] 163 00:07:57,607 --> 00:08:00,262 Oh, perfect. 164 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,830 [Mike singing] 165 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,355 The gun was right there. 166 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,100 ♪ Seat goes down for my lady ♪ 167 00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,884 ♪ No more splash landings ♪ 168 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,020 Morning, my little turtledove. 169 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,978 You making papa bear a cup of coffee? 170 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,806 Absolutely, papa bear. 171 00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:27,376 Hey, did Goldilocks sleep out here last night? 172 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,117 Yeah, your bed's a little lumpy. 173 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:31,685 I guess it would be, it was my mom and dad's old bed. 174 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,602 Hey, I got a surprise for you. 175 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,299 Check this out. 176 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,652 It's got three heat settings. 177 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:46,003 You could bake a pie with this thing. 178 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,092 Thank you. That's very sweet. I'm gonna go take a shower. 179 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:51,008 Hey, just to show you I've been paying attention 180 00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,315 I took your hint and I bought you some shampoo 181 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,883 and conditioner in two separate gallon jugs. 182 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,190 Swell. 183 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,844 Peach-apricot. 184 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,411 You're gonna smell like a fruit salad 185 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,108 all day long! 186 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,466 What's the problem with the mattress you already have? 187 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,294 Well, it's fine with me, but I heard my lady 188 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,209 mention the words "small" and "lumpy." 189 00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,472 Huh! You sure she was talking about your mattress? 190 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,476 What are you trying to say, Carl? 191 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,567 Really? I gotta spell it out for you? 192 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,699 Hey, I'm bringing my A-game, pal. 193 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,527 I'm playing it slow and steady, varying my pitches 194 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:33,355 just enough to keep her guessing. 195 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,487 Good, 'cause you don't want her to look over to the bullpen 196 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,403 and signal to, bring in the lefty. 197 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,057 Good afternoon, gentlemen. 198 00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,625 Is there a specific type of mattress I can help you find? 199 00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:45,062 Talk to him, I'm strictly a waterbed man. 200 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:51,329 Well, I'm looking for something that can accommodate two 201 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,593 let's say, larger people, comfortably. 202 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,899 Side by side, but sometimes stacked. 203 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,511 Are you thinking conventional mattress 204 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,296 or perhaps memory foam? 205 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,733 Oh, my grandma's got one of those memory foam beds. 206 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,343 It's like sleeping on a cloud. 207 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:08,825 You know, a cloud that remembers the shape of your ass. 208 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,436 Everything I sit on remembers the shape of my ass. 209 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,484 Well, one of our more popular king-size 210 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:18,269 is the pillow top, which combines a posturepedic mattress 211 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:21,185 with a cozy three inch layer of goose down. 212 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,796 Oh, that's nice. 213 00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:24,885 Yeah, it's even softer than your silky forearm. 214 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,975 I'm going for a test drive. 215 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,240 Oh. 216 00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:34,329 - How is it? - 'Very cushy.' 217 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:38,550 It's what I always imagined sleeping on you would be like. 218 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,161 Scooch over, that's my side. 219 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:46,036 Oh, you put a mirror on that ceiling, I could live here. 220 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,908 Show me a casket with one of these in it 221 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,301 you can kill me right now. 222 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,738 Boy, there'll be no getting you up in the morning. 223 00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,217 [both chuckling] 224 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:58,440 You guys known each other a long time? 225 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,311 We've been partners for five years. 226 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:04,794 Turn on your side. 227 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,362 - Butt-to-butt or spooning? - Spooning. 228 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:11,932 Does that feel okay? 229 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,324 Are you comfortable? 230 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:16,153 Yeah, the mattress is offering support 231 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,460 while hugging the contours of my body. 232 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,983 - Switch? - Absolutely. 233 00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,814 Oh, God, I'm in heaven. 234 00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:28,339 Yup, you're gonna have one happy girl on your hands tonight. 235 00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:29,819 Well, if you buy this mattress 236 00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,691 I think both you girls are gonna be happy. 237 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,696 I'll let you two discuss it. 238 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,701 Why is it, at least three times a week 239 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,528 people think we're gay? 240 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,183 Well, this one I get. 241 00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,532 We're snuggling on a mattress. 242 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,795 But when I wipe mustard off your lip 243 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,361 that's just me being helpful. 244 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,757 [knocking on door] 245 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:57,934 Hey, sweetie, where you been? 246 00:11:58,021 --> 00:11:59,283 I was starting to get worried about you. 247 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,937 Sorry, I had to go home and repack 248 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:03,984 and I fell asleep on the toilet. 249 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,072 You're not sleeping well? 250 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,551 Because I know how to fix that. 251 00:12:06,638 --> 00:12:08,162 So do I, and it's in your holster. 252 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,468 What's that? 253 00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:11,818 - Nothing. - Hey. 254 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,168 No more restless nights for my baby. 255 00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,474 Come, let me show you what I got. 256 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,041 Please tell me it's a jug of vodka 257 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,956 and a martini glass the size of your head. 258 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:25,135 Ta-da. 259 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,789 You got a new bed? 260 00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,660 Yeah, and check out all the pillows. 261 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,532 I was just gonna get two, but Carl said 262 00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:33,317 quantity gives it an "Arabian Nights" type of vibe. 263 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,276 [humming] 264 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,148 Wait a second. 265 00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,107 You bought a bed for us with Carl? 266 00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,718 No, I bought a bed for you with Carl. 267 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:45,199 Sweetie, sit down. We need to talk. 268 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,200 Did I do something wrong? 269 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,636 No, no, no. 270 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:50,595 Buying a new bed for me was very considerate. 271 00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:54,164 Utterly clueless, but very considerate. 272 00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:57,646 I'm not following. Are you happy, or are you sad? 273 00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:02,303 Ever since we started sleeping together, it's been right here. 274 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:04,609 There was that time we did it on the couch. 275 00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,437 Please, no cute talk right now. 276 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:09,963 I'll try, but I'm feeling pretty cute. 277 00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,226 Mike, seriously. 278 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,707 You like me, right? 279 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,535 Are you kidding? I more than like you. 280 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:20,451 I...like you a lot. 281 00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,412 I'm glad, because I am dead-ass tired 282 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,457 running back and forth between my house 283 00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:28,068 and your place every night. 284 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:31,506 You need to start making my life a little easier for me. 285 00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:33,377 How? I'll do anything. 286 00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:34,988 Start spending some nights at my place. 287 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,207 Almost anything. 288 00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:38,861 - Mike. - Oh, come on. 289 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,123 I don't think I can throw my A-game 290 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,038 with your mother and sister around. 291 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,824 Hey, I've been doing it on your mom and dad's old mattress. 292 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,917 Okay. 293 00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,744 I'll go pack a little overnight bag. 294 00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:55,835 Thanks. 295 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,924 Hey, should I bring my agave scrub sponge 296 00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,534 or do you have one at your place? 297 00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:01,971 Bring it. That was mine. 298 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,494 Damn it, Carl was right. 299 00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,412 We are still gonna sleep at my place sometimes. 300 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:09,979 - Of course. - Good. 301 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,807 'Cause I paid 700 bucks for that bed 302 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,853 and I want to lay on it with someone besides Carl. 303 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:19,946 Oh, guess who decided to finally sleep in her own bed? 304 00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,034 And by sleep, I mean-- 305 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,123 Mom. 306 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:25,777 Good to see you, Mrs. Flynn. Victoria. 307 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,779 - Hey. - Good to see you. 308 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,172 What do you got in your bag? 309 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:32,045 Golf clubs or an extra pair of underwear? 310 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,176 Let's just go upstairs. 311 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,135 Sooner the better. 312 00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,267 Hey, when I go to bed, I'll put my headphones on 313 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,182 so you can get as nasty as you want. 314 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,183 Keep moving. 315 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,928 Where's the toothpaste? 316 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:48,670 The tooth.. 317 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:51,499 Oh. 318 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:22,922 I wanna go home. 319 00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,393 Shake the snake a little too hard there, fella? 320 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,006 Oh! 321 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,312 Hello, Mrs. Flynn. 322 00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,879 No, I thought I noticed a calcium buildup 323 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,099 on your tile grout, but upon closer surveillance 324 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,145 you're clean as a whistle, good to go. 325 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:14,060 Thanks. 326 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,062 What time's the luau there, big kahuna? 327 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:21,545 Ah, yeah, apparently, in my haste to pack 328 00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:23,721 I neglected to bring pajama bottoms. 329 00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:26,202 Hmm, top, no bottoms. 330 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,335 Around these parts, we call that porky piggin' it. 331 00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,817 Okay, well, uh, don't worry. 332 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:35,124 Tomorrow, I will be wearing pants at breakfast. 333 00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:36,517 Well, that makes one of us. 334 00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:38,127 - Goodnight. - Goodnight 335 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,479 Goofy bastard. 336 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,396 How did my bottle of Vicodin end up in the crapper? 337 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:51,053 Oh, God, I could be in my new bed right now. 338 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,665 I heard you're a screamer 339 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:57,277 so I'm wearing my noise-reduction headphones. 340 00:16:58,582 --> 00:16:59,801 Appreciate it. Goodnight. 341 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:02,673 What'd you say? 342 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,197 What did I say? 343 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,938 'Can anybody hear me?' 344 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,725 What is my sister yelling about? 345 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,902 I have no idea. 346 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:16,992 Look, I really appreciate you staying here tonight. 347 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,863 Well, you've been lugging your stuff back and forth 348 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,867 to my place all week, so, it's the least I could do. 349 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,740 Well, thank you. 350 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:29,700 You know, we should probably wait 351 00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,920 till your mom and sister fall asleep. 352 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:35,532 Or we could just try to do it really quietly. 353 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,273 Might make it sexier. 354 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,493 - You think so? - Sure. 355 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,364 Hey, we can pretend we're two high school kids 356 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,714 trying not to get caught. 357 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,586 Uh, I'm not sure I know how to do that. 358 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,109 I've only played the one high school kid 359 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:48,415 trying not to get caught. 360 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,854 Oh, my God, Michael Biggs 361 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,030 ever since I sat behind you in homeroom class 362 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:58,294 I've been, like, totally fantasizing about this moment 363 00:17:58,381 --> 00:18:00,079 and I always hoped that you'd be my first. 364 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,041 Your first? 365 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,912 Well, I made out with Mindy Peterson once 366 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,611 after cheerleading practice, but that was just an experiment. 367 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:13,266 And I was, like, majorly thinking about you. 368 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,528 [chuckles] 369 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,533 Okay, that got the home crowd standing. 370 00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:25,104 'Mike's got the power, Mike's got the heat' 371 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,802 'Mike's got the spirit to knock you off your feet!' 372 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,892 [Molly] 'Go, Mikey!' 373 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,676 Are they doing it yet? 374 00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,113 Good Lord, I hope so. 375 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:36,637 What? 376 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,901 Boy, these things are good. 377 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,127 Mike, come on. 378 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,693 Mike. 379 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,392 [laughs] 380 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:53,567 Stop it, mom. 381 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,095 Morning, Mrs. Flynn. 382 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,662 Morning to you. 383 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,185 - How'd you sleep? - Mom. 384 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,840 What? I'm just asking the man how he slept. 385 00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,451 I slept fine, very restful. Thank you for asking. 386 00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,366 Glad to hear it. 387 00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:11,454 Can I make you some breakfast? 388 00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,064 No, thanks. I'm not hungry. 389 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,111 Really? I thought you'd be starving to death 390 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:17,808 after winning the big game. 391 00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,639 - You're excused. - God bless you. 392 00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:27,383 Go, Mikey! 393 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,520 You know, I gotta say.. 394 00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:35,783 it's really kinda nice to have a man in the house. 395 00:19:45,836 --> 00:19:48,012 [theme music]