1 00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:05,570 Look at us. Having dinner at the table. 2 00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,920 Facin' each other instead of just shoveling down takeout 3 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,531 in front of the TV. 4 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,141 It's nice, huh? 5 00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,708 Based on your tone, I'm assuming 6 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:13,752 you want me to say yes. 7 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,711 [chuckles] 8 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,887 I'm kidding. It's great. There's no distractions. 9 00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,455 Just me and my lady enjoying a civilized dinner 10 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,197 and conversing about our day. 11 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:26,069 - Kind of romantic. - Very romantic. 12 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,028 Is this gonna be an every night kinda deal 13 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,334 or is it just an odd experiment 14 00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,554 to see if we can actually do it? 15 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,208 You know, Mike, it's important for us 16 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,948 to stay connected with each other. 17 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,821 Sex is not the only way to express intimacy. 18 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:42,607 I agree. It's certainly the best way. 19 00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,566 Mostly because we always know when we're done. 20 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,787 Well, I always know when-when I'm done. 21 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,575 Hey, I got an idea. 22 00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:54,967 Let's forget about the dishes 23 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,274 and let's go out and do something fun. 24 00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:58,841 - Right now? - Yeah, right now. 25 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,712 Me and you, let's just get in the car 26 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,105 and see where the night takes us. 27 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,672 I was kinda hopin' the night was gonna take us 28 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:06,327 to your nice comfy couch. 29 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:08,546 Come on, we live in one of the greatest cities 30 00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:09,591 in the world. 31 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:11,375 Let's go explore it. 32 00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:14,204 Or we could snuggle up on the couch 33 00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:17,773 and eat low-fat bugles off of each other's fingertips. 34 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,688 Sexy! 35 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,038 - Don't be such a load. - What do you want from me? 36 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:24,040 I already put on my loosey-goosey sweatpants. 37 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:25,607 I know, I've been looking at those sweatpants 38 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,391 for almost two weeks now. 39 00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:29,132 Hey, maybe we can toss 'em in the washer 40 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,481 while we go out. 41 00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,440 You can't wash 'em you'll shrink the loosey 42 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:35,095 out of 'em, and then they're just goosey. 43 00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:38,272 Come on, get changed and let's go do somethin'. 44 00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:39,838 God, I'm not really up for going out. 45 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:42,145 I had a pretty tough day at work. 46 00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:44,495 What happened? Shootout, bank robbery? 47 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,149 Carl step in gum again? 48 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:50,153 You joke, but an officer of the law stepping in 49 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,329 a wad of Hubba Bubba can be the split second 50 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:55,767 a criminal needs to make his getaway. 51 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:58,770 Whoa, what are you two doing standing up after 6 o'clock? 52 00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,120 Is the couch on fire? 53 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,514 [Joyce] 'Guess where we're goin'?' 54 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,777 Vince is taking me to see Peaches and Herb 55 00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:08,519 at the Schaumburg Hyatt. 56 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:11,261 It's the original Herb, but it's Peaches number six. 57 00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,222 I don't know where those Peaches are disappearing to 58 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:18,355 but somebody might wanna take a shovel to Herb's backyard. 59 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:23,665 He made the same joke about Gladys Knight killing the Pips. 60 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,493 - Goodnight. - You guys have fun. 61 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,408 And when you get home, don't put the chain on the door 62 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,932 'cause Mike and I might be out pretty late. 63 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,241 Molly, look, a squirrel on water skis. 64 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:38,767 ♪ For the first time ♪ 65 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,336 ♪ In my life ♪ 66 00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:45,556 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 67 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,439 [man on TV] 'The resilient villagers' 68 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,223 'return once more' 69 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,139 'to till their arid soil.' 70 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,276 Oh! What tragic lives some people lead. 71 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,408 [snoring] 72 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,673 Oh, my God, that's horrible. 73 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,588 When will we learn? 74 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,025 - You fell asleep. - No, I didn't. 75 00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:25,857 So, you saw the whole thing about the migrating geese? 76 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,643 Yes, and I found it heartbreaking. 77 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,428 There were no geese! 78 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:34,997 So, you tricked me? Congratulations. 79 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,390 You outwitted a sleepin' man. 80 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,915 Mike, I can't sit on that couch anymore 81 00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:41,308 watching TV. 82 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,571 Uh, let's go do something fun this weekend. 83 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,660 - Me and you. - I'm in. 84 00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,618 - Really? - Whatever you wanna do. 85 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:50,360 Great, so how about we drive downstate 86 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,883 to a nice little B and B? 87 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,712 Bed and breakfast? Are you out of your mind? 88 00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,366 You said whatever I wanna do. 89 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,107 Within reason, I don't wanna share a toilet 90 00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,326 with a house full of strangers. 91 00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,153 It means the seat's always warm. 92 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,636 Plus, there's usually some mangy cat with a bent tail 93 00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,726 rubbing its anus on your leg. 94 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:11,207 Okay, forget the bed and breakfast. 95 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,601 How about.. 96 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:16,560 ...we drive up to Wisconsin, hm? 97 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,954 Rent a cabin by the lake? 98 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,261 You know, big fireplace.. 99 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,567 ...snuggling under a blanket 100 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,265 sippin' hot chocolate. 101 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,006 Ah. 102 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:31,009 What is the problem this time, princess, huh? 103 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,968 The fireplace? Wisconsin? 104 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,839 I know it's not the chocolate! 105 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,408 Oh, you felt the need to go there, huh? 106 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:39,714 Real mature. 107 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,283 [instrumental music] 108 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:49,680 What's wrong with you this mornin'? 109 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,682 - Nothing, why? - You're playing with your food. 110 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:55,120 A-and you don't ever play with your food. 111 00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:58,210 Sometimes he does lay his sausages in a neat little row. 112 00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,388 Yeah, but that's more like lining up logs 113 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:04,304 before you jam 'em in a wood chipper. 114 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,914 I think Molly's getting restless. 115 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,263 - What do you mean "restless"? - I don't know. 116 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,743 From what I can gather 117 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:12,094 I'm not taking her outside enough. 118 00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,661 Well, I told you, when you got a girlfriend 119 00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:17,186 you'd have to walk her at least three times a day. 120 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,883 Otherwise, they go crazy and start chewing up 121 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,450 the furniture and draggin' their little butts 122 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,409 across the carpet. 123 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:23,801 That's why you gotta get two of them. 124 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,325 That way they could play with each other. 125 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:30,112 I mean, I don't get it. Everything you'd want is inside. 126 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,722 Food, shelter, sex. 127 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:33,333 What else do you need? 128 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,422 I'd settle for two of the three. 129 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,075 Give me a strange hand on my crotch 130 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,687 and a bag of skittles and I would live in a pothole. 131 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,560 I don't think Molly understands how hard I work. 132 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,823 I put my life on the line every day. 133 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,216 I need some down time. 134 00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,652 Yep, that's what I tell grandma. 135 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,437 When I get home from work, I need to decompress. 136 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:51,873 - Some me time. - That's right. 137 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,396 Don't be yelling at me to shovel the drive 138 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,485 or pull a dead rat out of the rain gutter. 139 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,921 I mean, why didn't she grab that thing when she was up there 140 00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:59,750 taking down the Christmas lights? 141 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:02,971 Exactly, we spend all day every day fighting crime 142 00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:04,451 to keep the streets safe for them. 143 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:06,583 We're like Batman, and when Batman comes home 144 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,803 you don't ask him to clean the garage or unclog the toilet 145 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,066 because his bat grandma can't process dairy. 146 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,591 I don't know what I'm gonna do, Carl. 147 00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,811 I gave Molly my A-game when we first started dating 148 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,769 but I can't keep up that level of charm. 149 00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,336 I'm only one man. 150 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,338 Hm, well, I could argue otherwise, but.. 151 00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,037 Maybe all you need to do is shake it up a little. 152 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:27,561 Show her that you're making an effort. 153 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,127 Aw, does this mean I'm gonna have to go out? 154 00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:31,478 - Not at all. - Alright, I'm listening. 155 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:32,827 Instead of letting her make you dinner 156 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:33,871 and serve it to you on the couch 157 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,003 you show up with dinner 158 00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,265 and serve it to her on the couch. 159 00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,658 You're still eating dinner on the couch 160 00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,268 but in her mind you have wined and dined her. 161 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,271 - That's all it takes? - That's it. 162 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:43,272 Just do a couple of little things 163 00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:44,795 she doesn't expect you to do 164 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,318 and then she'll forget all about the big nasty things 165 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,451 you don't wanna do. 166 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,322 - That makes sense. - I'm telling you. 167 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,499 I may have combed out a few old lady wigs in my day 168 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,543 but I ain't never plucked a dead rat 169 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:54,762 out of a rain gutter. 170 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,245 [woman on TV] 'The diet of the North American' 171 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,465 'brown bear consists mostly' 172 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:06,426 'of salmon, berries, legumes and pine nuts.' 173 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,428 Yogi doesn't eat that. 174 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,866 Yogi eats picnic baskets. 175 00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:15,957 Six pounds. 176 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,567 I've gained almost six pounds 177 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,221 since Mike and I started dating. 178 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,136 It's probably just your hibernation weight 179 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,617 'you'll lose that as soon as the spring thaw rolls around.' 180 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,708 We've just turned into this old, married couple. 181 00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,492 I mean, he never wants to go out anymore. 182 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,494 I can't even get him off the sofa. 183 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:34,192 Well, you've already mated with him 184 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,368 so he has no reason to stand on his hind legs 185 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,546 or fling a half-eaten salmon at your feet. 186 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:42,157 - Turn off the bear show. - Sorry. 187 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,641 All I'm saying is once a guy knows you're a sure thing 188 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:50,121 there's no reason for him to try anymore. 189 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:53,951 - You know what? - Mm-hm? 190 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,692 I'm not just gonna sit around 191 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,651 and wait for him to take me out. 192 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,348 If I wanna go do something fun 193 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,655 I am gonna do something fun. 194 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,092 - Right on, sister! - I am gonna tear it up! 195 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,137 Whoo! 196 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,445 You wanna come with me? 197 00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,578 I-I don't wanna go by myself. 198 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,499 [door bell ringing] 199 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,552 Oh, good Lord, I just saw my girlfriend's mom naked. 200 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,556 What are you doing looking in the window? 201 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:34,818 I'm sorry, I didn't think anybody would be 202 00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:37,734 having sex on the stairs. 203 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,520 Well, if you're writing a book, it started in the laundry room. 204 00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,959 Hey, Mike. What a surprise. 205 00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,613 I was just making popcorn. 206 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,791 Save it, doll. He saw us on the stairs. 207 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:53,141 Honestly, from the window, it just looked like a bad fall. 208 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,015 Alright, state your business. 209 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:01,410 Those Viagras are 11 bucks a pop. 210 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:04,587 Hush up, Vince, you got another three hours on that thing. 211 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,763 Hey, I'm gonna be asleep in about 30 minutes 212 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:10,637 after that, you can pound nails with it for all I care. 213 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,464 I'm looking for Molly. Is she home? 214 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:16,033 If she was, would I be doing her mom on the staircase. 215 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,382 While you watched from the window 216 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,471 getting your jollies? 217 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,386 She and Victoria went out for the night. 218 00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:22,779 Really? 219 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,694 We always spend Friday nights together. 220 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,217 And I brought over Thai food. 221 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:29,569 - Ooh, that sounds good. - Yeah, I could eat. 222 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,745 I'll give you 20 bucks for the whole shebang. 223 00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,529 Forty if you promise to stay away from the window 224 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,140 for the rest of the night. 225 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,969 Just take it. 226 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,884 What do you say you throw me another high hard one 227 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,278 and then we eat the spring rolls? 228 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,758 - Works for me. - Hm. 229 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,937 [laughing] 230 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,855 Oh, God, I forgot how great it feels 231 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,073 to go out on a Friday night. 232 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,554 Work week is done, papers are graded 233 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,164 mama is ready to party. 234 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,905 You go, girl! 235 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:04,908 Oh, I still have to buy foam board and 30 glue sticks 236 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:05,996 for Monday's art project. 237 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,955 But I ain't doing it tonight. 238 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:11,219 'Cause it's time to party! 239 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:14,483 I am gonna write myself just a little reminder 240 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:19,053 so I don't forget about that foam...board. 241 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,621 Whoo! 242 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,754 Good idea, 'cause we're gonna get wasted tonight. 243 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,539 - Oh! - Yeah! 244 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,846 I mean, Probably not wasted, but I think I see 245 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:33,458 a couple glasses of Chardonnay in my future. 246 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:34,546 [cell phone ringing] 247 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,853 Oh! 248 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,769 Uh-oh, Grandpa Mike. 249 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,206 What's up? 250 00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,774 Oh, just hanging with my sister. 251 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,994 Uh-huh. Oh, really? 252 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,561 You just dropped by assuming I'd be there? 253 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,303 Bummer for you. 254 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,870 Well, I don't know. 255 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,830 Could go pretty late, it's Friday night. 256 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,222 Whoo! 257 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,311 Do it again. Do it again. 258 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,531 Whoo! 259 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,141 Victoria, chill. 260 00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:07,449 I'm trying to talk on the phone. 261 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:10,408 Sorry. She's pretty amped. 262 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,802 Yes, I said amped. 263 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,631 Uh, listen, we're getting ready to head into the club. 264 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:19,330 Ladies, I'm gonna need to see some ID. 265 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,245 Just kidding. 266 00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,552 Gotta-gotta go. I'll call you. 267 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:29,210 Oh, God, look at me playin' hard to get. 268 00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:32,213 I don't think I have ever done that. 269 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,997 I tried it once. 270 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,651 But I was completely naked at the time 271 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,697 so the dude called my bluff. 272 00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:54,409 [Nana] 'Who the hell's beatin' on my door?' 273 00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:55,758 Nana, it's me, Mike. 274 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,936 Oh, hey, Michael. Carlton's not home. 275 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,938 - Goodnight, baby. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 276 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,505 Not home? Where did he go? 277 00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:06,029 Oh, I don't keep tabs on him. He's a grown man. 278 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,510 But he does like hot wings and big, fake boobies 279 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:10,991 if that helps narrow it down. 280 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,340 Strip club. 281 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,298 I don't think he was folding up dollar bills 282 00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:17,040 to put in the church collection plate. 283 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,434 Now if you'll excuse me, Brother Heywood stopped by 284 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,262 for pie and coffee. 285 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,786 Oh, uh, what kinda pie? 286 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,180 The kind of pie that two consenting adults 287 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:29,836 enjoy alone in the privacy of their own home. 288 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,274 Oh, man, I am two for two. 289 00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:35,842 So's Brother Heywood. Goodnight, Michael. 290 00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,674 I mean, I'm a doer. I've always been a doer. 291 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,286 In high school, French club, chess club, drama club 292 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:48,028 band, jazz band, marching band, student council 293 00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,551 editor of the school paper, French club.. 294 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,944 Did I already say French club? 295 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:54,077 - Yes, you did. - Um. Excusez-moi. 296 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:56,645 You might wanna slow down on those Red Bulls. 297 00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,690 The point is, I'm an active person, a go-getter. 298 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,954 Remember? I backpacked through Europe one summer. 299 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,304 All by myself, okay it wasn't the whole summer. 300 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,132 But it was two and a half weeks. 301 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,351 The point is that I have an adventurous soul 302 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,657 I'm like Amelia Earhart. 303 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,354 Or that woman that lives with the gorillas 304 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:11,616 I can't think of her name. 305 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,270 Sigourney Weaver played her in the movie. 306 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,577 - I loved her in Ghostbusters. - She was fantastic. 307 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,144 Funny, sexy, quirky. 308 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,275 See, that's who I am. 309 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,929 I'm fun, and I've always been fun. 310 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,452 You don't keep a fun gal like me at home. 311 00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,193 You take her out, you show her around. 312 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,629 Red light! 313 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,284 [both laughing] 314 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,117 That was fun. Wasn't that fun? 315 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:35,815 I might have peed a little. 316 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,294 [laughing] 317 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:38,992 Oh, me too! 318 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:49,089 Molly, it's Mike. Where are you? 319 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:52,222 I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the music. 320 00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,963 Oh, great, yeah, I'm glad 321 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,660 you're having a good time. 322 00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,793 Me? I'm having a ball. 323 00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:02,580 No, I don't know where you ball is. 324 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,018 Look under the couch. 325 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,977 So I guess I'll see you when I see you. 326 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,501 Hello? 327 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:13,156 I threw a load of your whites in the dryer 328 00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,724 I had to spray some extra zout on your pit stains 329 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:19,075 looks like you were sweating mustard. 330 00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,598 Thanks. 331 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,557 So where's your little girlfriend tonight? 332 00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,472 She wanted some time to herself. 333 00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:26,909 Oh. Time to herself. 334 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,259 Well, you two had a good run. 335 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,695 Nothing you can do when the love bus 336 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:33,568 goes off the cliff. 337 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:34,874 No, it's nothing like that. 338 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,527 She just thinks we don't go out enough. 339 00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,094 Why does she need to go out? 340 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:40,705 You guys are in a committed relationship now. 341 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,883 The music has stopped, grab a chair. 342 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,580 My point exactly, she doesn't understand 343 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,973 that I work hard every day 344 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,888 and when I come home I need to unwind. 345 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,977 You know, your father and I never went out. 346 00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:53,414 We'd eat every meal right here in front of the TV. 347 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:54,937 - Every meal? - Yep. 348 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,374 As long as we had three squares and Barnaby Jones 349 00:14:57,461 --> 00:15:00,160 we didn't need a lot of jibber-jabber. 350 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,901 So that's all you guys did was sit 351 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,903 on the couch together and watch TV? 352 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,383 Well, eventually your father bought a second TV 353 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,211 and watched it down in the basement. 354 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,126 So I'd leave his dinner, on the top step 355 00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:12,172 and ring a little bell for him to come get it. 356 00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,437 That's horrible. Why don't I remember that? 357 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:20,397 Oh, that was before you were born. 358 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:23,139 After you came along, we started to drift apart. 359 00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,190 Mom, would you be terribly hurt if I-- 360 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,279 - Get out of here. - Thanks, mom. 361 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,241 That lit a fire under his ass, didn't it, Jim. 362 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,464 [party music] 363 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:55,955 - This place is fantastic! - Yeah, great music. 364 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,217 Plus, you don't have to worry about any 365 00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,392 of the guys hitting on you. 366 00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,610 Right. 367 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,700 You know, 'cause they're all gay. 368 00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,833 Yeah, I gathered that. 369 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,054 Another good thing, no lines in the ladies bathroom. 370 00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:11,231 Occasionally you'll walk in on something very disturbing 371 00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:14,190 but you just do your business and get out as quick as you can. 372 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:24,200 Excuse me, gentlemen. How are you? 373 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,898 Excuse me, pardon me. Nice to see you. 374 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,858 That's a hell of a mustache. 375 00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,686 Molly! 376 00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:32,992 Molly! 377 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,130 No, no, I'm not dancing. 378 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:43,480 - Mike! - Molly. 379 00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,961 That's my girlfriend. I'm with her. 380 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:49,095 Coming through. Nice nipple ring. 381 00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:51,010 That had to hurt. 382 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,620 Detective Nelson. 383 00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:56,145 I'm gonna assume you're undercover. 384 00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,626 - Molly. - What are you doing here? 385 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,932 I came to tell you I'm sorry. 386 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,717 And I don't wanna end up sitting in the basement 387 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,632 waiting on the dinner bell. 388 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,242 I don't know what that means. 389 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,331 It means I don't ever wanna take you for granted 390 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,552 and if you wanna go out, we'll go out. 391 00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,554 We are out. 392 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,556 Seriously? 393 00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:17,036 Dance with me, big boy. 394 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,733 I'm not really much of a dancer. 395 00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:21,431 - Consider it foreplay. - Sold. 396 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:28,395 - I love you. - I love you, too. 397 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,745 Please tell me that was you that just grabbed my ass. 398 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,404 The first one's free. Next one's gonna cost you. 399 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,240 I think the problem, Jeffrey 400 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,024 is you're taking Steven for granted. 401 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,417 I mean, yes, you're a doctor 402 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,506 and that's a very demanding job 403 00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:53,985 but he works, too. 404 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,466 He's on his feet all day long at the salon 405 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,468 and at night, he still cares enough about you 406 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:01,384 to cram those things into those size 12 peekaboo pumps. 407 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:04,170 - Ten and a half. - Okay. 408 00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:05,606 I know better than to argue with a lady 409 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:08,478 about her shoe size. 410 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:11,177 - Mike, you ready to go home? - Oh sure, sweetie. 411 00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,918 That's my girlfriend. You know how it is. 412 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:17,313 - Well, you know how it is. - Mike. 413 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,750 - Nice to meet you guys. - You comin' back tomorrow? 414 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,056 It's Cowboy and Indian night. 415 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,753 Ooh, it's Cowboy and Indian night. 416 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,146 We'll talk about it in the car. 417 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,843 I can wear my boots. 418 00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,367 Might be nice to stay home tomorrow night. 419 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:31,240 Aw, come on, you never wanna do anything. 420 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:33,503 Hey, how would you feel about me growing a mustache? 421 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,983 Sure. Maybe get a nipple ring. 422 00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,116 'Someplace to hang your dry cleaning.' 423 00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,646 [theme music]