1
00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:06,702
[exhales heavily]

2
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,313
Damn it.

3
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:14,405
Mike!

4
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,808
Whoa!

5
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,856
Screw it, I've touched his
underwear enough for one night.

6
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,041
Mike!

7
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,831
No, I got it!

8
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,420
- Perfect.
- Molly!

9
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:15,727
Someone's at the door!

10
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:16,989
It's me!

11
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,690
What are you doin' out there?

12
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:25,346
Thinking about another load
I'd like to shove in the drier.

13
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,697
Let me get that for you sweetie,
wow, this is heavy!

14
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:31,656
It's because the clothes are
still damp because apparently

15
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,485
your drier is actually
more of a slot machine.

16
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:40,230
What the hell?

17
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:43,407
This thing has been on 350 for
over an hour it's not even warm.

18
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,670
Uh, that's because
350 means 150.

19
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,672
If you want 350,
you got to put it on "clean."

20
00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:52,155
- What's broil?
- I don't know, Jewish holiday?

21
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,639
So, basically I'm left

22
00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,554
with one pot
and one working burner.

23
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,556
Ooh, sounds like
we're having chili tonight.

24
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,344
I don't understand why we don't
just live at my house.

25
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,607
- With your mom and sister?
- Why not?

26
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:12,349
At least till we save up enough
money to buy our own place.

27
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:15,091
But this is my home, I've lived
here for almost 15 years.

28
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,962
And you still
only have one pot!

29
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:19,008
I only have
one workin' burner.

30
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:24,100
This apartment is not
big enough for two people.

31
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,276
I mean, there's only
one closet, there's no

32
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,799
counter space in the bathroom.

33
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:30,889
I offered to put a TV tray
in there for you.

34
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,630
Why don't you just move the one
you have next to the toilet?

35
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:35,503
That's my reading table.

36
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:37,635
Convenient, 'cause it's right
next to your thinkin' seat.

37
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,900
Come on, just
consider it.

38
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,816
I mean, everything
we need is at my house.

39
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:47,254
Except privacy.
Here, it's just us.

40
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:50,474
Our cozy little love nest,
our romantic pied-a-terre.

41
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:54,478
[knocking at door]

42
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,698
Oh, good, you're both here,
I brought hot wings

43
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,047
and rodeo bloopers
for halftime.

44
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:01,964
- Cool, Molly's making chili.
- Yay.

45
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,096
♪ For the first time ♪

46
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,361
♪ In my life ♪

47
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,928
♪ I see love ♪♪

48
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,419
Well, if I do move in
with Molly

49
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,291
it'll definitely
cut down on expenses.

50
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:26,945
Plus, my neighborhood's not
exactly the safest for a woman.

51
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,817
Why don't you get her a big dog
or teach her judo?

52
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,732
- No, that's stupid.
- How is that stupid?

53
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,908
I don't know, that's what
Molly said when I suggested it.

54
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,260
Man, I hate to see you
get rid of that apartment.

55
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:38,783
It's like a quiet
sanctuary for me.

56
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,263
Why don't you sublet it,
that way you can

57
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,873
move out of your
grandmother's house.

58
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,484
Oh, I can't do that,
cooking and cleaning for me

59
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:46,878
is what keeps
that old woman vital.

60
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:50,621
- And the yard work?
- When did this become about me?

61
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:51,970
You're the one
surrendering the fort.

62
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,885
What're you talking about?

63
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,844
You move in with Molly you're
giving up home field advantage.

64
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,541
She's always shirts,
you're always skins.

65
00:03:57,628 --> 00:04:00,283
Man, nobody wants to see that.

66
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,458
Yeah, that's true.

67
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:03,068
With her sister
and mother there

68
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,027
she'll always have
two women taking her side

69
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:08,204
which means the outcome
of the vote is predetermined.

70
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:11,033
Or as they call it
in my country, democracy.

71
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,297
You know, and I understand
you want to save money

72
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,646
but what good is money
if you can't

73
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,996
sit on the toilet
with the door open?

74
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:21,696
Or drink milk
right out of the cow.

75
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,480
You mean carton.

76
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,439
You Americans are so spoilt.

77
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,927
Why does this frosting
taste funny?

78
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:39,148
There's no pot in it.

79
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:42,673
That's what it is.

80
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,936
Hey, who's
the birthday cake for?

81
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:46,895
Oh, Mike's
mother's boyfriend.

82
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:50,246
Oof, still can't believe
that thing has a boyfriend.

83
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:53,510
Well, lid for every pot,
ass for every saddle, I guess.

84
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,905
[sighs]
I'm exhausted.

85
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,951
Between Mike's chili trumpet
and the feral cat gangbang

86
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,910
outside the window

87
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,086
I only got
about three hours of sleep.

88
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,175
Why didn't you guys
stay here last night?

89
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,699
I'm trying to be fair
and stay a couple nights

90
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,701
a week over
at his place.

91
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,921
Plus, it'll toughen me up
if I ever have to

92
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,793
survive in the wilderness or..

93
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,752
...South American
women's prison.

94
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,800
Men aren't sticklers
for hygiene, are they?

95
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,673
The soap's always a pube-fest
and anything's a handkerchief.

96
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,329
Yeah, but if a man's place
is too neat and clean

97
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,592
you know he's either
married or gay.

98
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,289
And in one awkward case, both.

99
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,773
Well, we talked about it last
night, and I think I have got

100
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,689
him convinced to give up his
place and come live with us.

101
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,999
What?
Is that not okay?

102
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,350
Are you talking about
him living here forever?

103
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,874
Well, no, just until
we get married

104
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,964
and save up enough money
to buy a home of our own.

105
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,880
Sounds like forever to me.

106
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:02,013
Wow, I never imagined you guys
would have an issue with this.

107
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,885
I guess I'll just tell
Mike that my mom

108
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,452
and my sister
don't want him here.

109
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,672
No, honey.
We can make it work.

110
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,892
We just need to come up
with some guidelines.

111
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,197
Might want to think
about getting

112
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:14,286
a television for the bedroom.

113
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,245
I mean, for a guy
who doesn't smoke weed

114
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,203
he sure watches a lot of TV.

115
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,903
And he's gonna have to start
chippin' in for groceries.

116
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,383
Well, of course.

117
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,210
It should be
based on consumption.

118
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:28,083
Not a, you know, flat rate,
all-you-can-eat type of deal.

119
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,826
Yeah, and for a guy
who doesn't smoke weed

120
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,829
he sure does
eat a lot of food.

121
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,266
And I will say,
I'm more than a little nervous

122
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,050
about there being
a gun in the house.

123
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,357
Don't worry, I promise
that he will keep it locked up.

124
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,794
Good, 'cause you know
how I get when I drink.

125
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:46,536
And it would tear me apart if
anything happened to you girls.

126
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:55,023
♪ Happy Birthday, dear Dennis ♪

127
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,634
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♪

128
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,070
- Yay!
- Yay!

129
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,594
- Make a wish.
- Oh!

130
00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:03,423
What could I possibly want
that I don't already have?

131
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,295
I'd request a little hearing
back in your right ear.

132
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,079
I'm tired of having
to throw my slipper at you

133
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,298
to get your attention.

134
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,434
Any attention from you
is good attention, Margaret.

135
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,218
You're making it weird.
Just blow.

136
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,005
- Yay!
- Yay!

137
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,313
Here you go.

138
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,142
It's a personal pedicure kit.

139
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,100
His toenails are like
Indian corn.

140
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,583
You know what,
no cake for me.

141
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,805
This is so thoughtful.
Thank you.

142
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:40,634
You get those talons corralled,
and come Christmas

143
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,288
you might be unwrapping
a new pair of open-toed shoes.

144
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,858
Ooh, you're planning
Christmas already.

145
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,599
I think
that's really adorable.

146
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:50,905
Well, your approval
is the reason

147
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:54,996
I get out of bed
in the morning.

148
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:59,000
Mmm, I do love lemon cake.

149
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,305
I guess I've always enjoyed
sour things.

150
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,611
That explains a lot.

151
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:02,830
[Jim barking]

152
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:08,096
I was joking.

153
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,272
It's time for
his post-dinner squat.

154
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,578
I'll take him, Margaret.

155
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,362
Mikey, why don't you
go with him?

156
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:16,104
Don't make the birthday boy
pick up a hot tootsie roll.

157
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,978
- Can I take my cake?
- Ew, Mike.

158
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:22,763
Oh, don't try
to break him of that.

159
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:24,939
He used to eat ice cream
while he got his hair cut.

160
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:30,248
You and Dennis seem
to be getting along great.

161
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:32,816
I was wary of him at first
but he's proven

162
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,297
himself to be
a fairly decent companion.

163
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,212
Well, he pursued you
for seven years.

164
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,432
That's clearly a man that
wanted him some Peggy Biggs.

165
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,916
I stretched out the courtship
longer than most men would

166
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:49,093
tolerate, but he kept
his powder dry

167
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,878
and his eye on the prize.

168
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,358
And tonight,
his patience will be rewarded.

169
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,535
- How so?
- Carnally.

170
00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,582
Yikes.

171
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,453
That's wonderful.

172
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,935
Um, it's inspiring to know
that two people

173
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,068
can find each other
this late in life.

174
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,679
I'm sorry, is there a toe tag
on me I haven't seen?

175
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,987
No, I'm just saying
it's nice to know

176
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,598
there's many chapters
in the book of love.

177
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:19,210
Yeah, well, this book hasn't
seen a bookmark for 30 years.

178
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,867
And I'm a little nervous
about crackin' it open.

179
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:29,873
Wow, 30 years.
It...could very well crack.

180
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:36,097
I'm just so damn nervous, you'd
think it was my first time.

181
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,882
I mean, look at me, I'm shaking
like a 14-year-old virgin.

182
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,580
Fourteen?

183
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,147
I grew up on a farm, we were
poor we had to make our own fun.

184
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:49,066
You got to put
the banjo down eventually.

185
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,156
And I'm afraid that
once Dennis satisfies his needs

186
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,376
he's gonna hit the bricks,
and I'm just gonna be

187
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:56,726
another notch
on his reversible belt.

188
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,209
I understand that you're feeling
vulnerable, but tonight

189
00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:04,865
you gotta just trust your heart
and jump back on the horse.

190
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:08,346
Back on the horse?

191
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:10,610
Refresh me, is that the one
where the gal's on top

192
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,263
but facing the other way?

193
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,618
You know what,
I'm gonna have some cake.

194
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,453
Not too bad for an old broad,
huh, Jim?

195
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,981
Well, you'd love me
no matter what.

196
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:36,723
You've seen me cry,
you've seen me naked.

197
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:39,334
And you've sat on my lap while
I've done my morning business.

198
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,165
Boy, it'd be
so much easier

199
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,862
if I were a dog
or you were a man.

200
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,434
Well...wish me luck.

201
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,528
And again, I'm sorry
I had your testicles removed.

202
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,839
Alright, Dennis, lights off..

203
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,711
and keep your eyes closed till
I'm securely under the covers.

204
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,584
And just a few ground rules.

205
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:16,066
No biting, no spanking
and "hey, not there" means

206
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,285
"hey, not there".

207
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,512
Other than that,
enjoy my secret garden.

208
00:11:42,092 --> 00:11:43,398
Dennis?

209
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,620
Dennis..

210
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,581
It's a little late
to play hard-to-get.

211
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,761
Den..

212
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,508
Oh, my God!

213
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:09,380
Dennis?

214
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,643
Oh, no!

215
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,776
Oh, my God,
this is terrible!

216
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,955
Mikey?

217
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,392
Something horrible's happened.

218
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:23,351
Jim, stop it,
that is not a chew toy.

219
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:27,703
I..

220
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,142
[Mike]
'Mom!'

221
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,841
[rapping on door]
'Mom!'

222
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,105
Alright, mom,
what happened?

223
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,323
I don't know.
He just died.

224
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:46,896
What the hell did you
do to him, Peggy Biggs?

225
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,506
Shh! Shh!

226
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:52,336
I.. I came downstairs and...
saw him like this

227
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,512
slumped in front of your
girlfriend's birthday cake.

228
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,386
Alright, just calm down
and let me do what I do.

229
00:12:58,473 --> 00:13:02,085
You're wasting your time
that man is stone-cold dead.

230
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,957
Why's he got all
this carpet fuzz in his hair?

231
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:07,351
I don't know, he was probably
r-rolling a ball

232
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:10,311
around on the floor
with Jim.

233
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:13,618
His shirt's not buttoned right.
He's not wearing a belt.

234
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,925
He's only got one shoe on.

235
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,492
Listen,
if I wanted the fashion police

236
00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:20,625
I certainly wouldn't
have called you.

237
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:23,106
Carl, I need you over
at my mom's place, ASAP.

238
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:26,066
Why are you turning this
into a big CSI thing?

239
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,503
Man had a piece of sour cake
and croaked.

240
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,200
Just because he can't
button his shirt

241
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:33,029
doesn't mean I'm a murderer!

242
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,596
Molly, she's hysterical..
Do me a favor

243
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,511
take her over to your house.

244
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:37,860
So you're sticking
with the cake story?

245
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:39,819
Mind your business,
Nancy Drew.

246
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,391
Anything about that body
seem weird to you?

247
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,177
I mean, other than
the nine-dollar haircut?

248
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:53,136
Not really, you seen one
dead body, you seen 'em all.

249
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:56,139
What about this
marking on the rug?

250
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,489
Looks like somebody was dragging
something down the stairs.

251
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:02,232
It's probably the dog
he's got itchy anal glands.

252
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,060
And this carpet's really
just his personal

253
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,323
wall-to-wall ass scratcher.

254
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:08,499
No, something about
this doesn't add up.

255
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,415
I mean, your mom claims she was
upstairs while he was down here.

256
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,808
Eating cake
with only one sock on.

257
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,549
Come on, who amongst
us hasn't eaten

258
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:17,160
cake with
only one sock on?

259
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,901
I'm just saying,
this crime scene

260
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,207
has definitely
been tampered with.

261
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,165
It's not a crime scene, Shaft.

262
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:25,255
The coroner said
it was a heart attack.

263
00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:26,996
I'm not disputing
the cause of death.

264
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,780
I'm just saying he didn't die
in those clothes

265
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,131
in that chair eating
this cake.

266
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,349
Lemon?

267
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,004
Molly made it.

268
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:37,137
Lemon for a birthday?

269
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,052
I'm telling you,
none of this adds up.

270
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,838
Yeah, whatever, we need
to go to his apartment

271
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,318
try and locate any
next of kin

272
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,102
see if he had
any sort of living will.

273
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,278
Just follow me on this, is it
possible he could've died

274
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,019
upstairs and your mom dragged
the body down here?

275
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,586
Why the hell
would she do that?

276
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:52,804
I'm just saying,
maybe he got more

277
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,023
than a piece
of cake tonight.

278
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,681
Crossed the line
there, didn't I?

279
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:08,429
- You gonna be okay?
- I'm numb.

280
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,997
I can't believe he's gone.

281
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,695
Well, you gave him a wonderful
last birthday, and..

282
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:16,437
...the only questionable
behavior was when you..

283
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,656
...dragged his dead body
down the stairs

284
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,921
and propped him up
in an eating position.

285
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:25,228
I couldn't let Mikey
find him upstairs in my bed.

286
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,752
One loose woman
in his life is enough.

287
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:29,798
At least I held out past 14.

288
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,237
[knocking at door]

289
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:37,197
Hi, I just want to say I am

290
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,025
very sorry for your loss.

291
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:40,809
Thank you.

292
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,898
If there's anything I can do
to help you through

293
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,857
this difficult time,
like, say

294
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,338
put makeup on your
recently deceased boyfriend..

295
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:51,515
- Victoria.
- It's a very competitive field.

296
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,691
We have an expression, "The
early worm gets the dead bird."

297
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,737
Victoria!

298
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,740
Cell phone number's on the back,
and consultations are free.

299
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,524
Tell her I'll give her half
off on the next stiff.

300
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:04,920
Sorry.

301
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,096
Oh, Dennis..

302
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,838
[crying]

303
00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:14,625
It's gonna be okay.

304
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:18,412
Now, just try to focus on the
fun you two had and..

305
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,370
...tonight must have
been nice, you know?

306
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,678
Till he died.

307
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,464
Never got that far.

308
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:31,294
I guess the image of our
two naked bodies entwined as one

309
00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:33,993
was more than
his bum ticker could take.

310
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,215
Yeah I know, had a little
palpitation myself.

311
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:45,569
I made that poor man court me
for seven years.

312
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:48,572
Well, you Biggs
like to take it slow.

313
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,487
Oh, maybe I didn't want him

314
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,403
to find out I wasn't perfect.

315
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,405
I wanted to remain
that pristine

316
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,755
alabaster goddess
that he fell in love with.

317
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:04,240
Yeah, sure.

318
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,720
You could tell from

319
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:08,331
how he looked at you
that he loved you.

320
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,595
- Really?
- Oh, are you kidding?

321
00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:14,511
Eyes lit up every time
you walked into the room.

322
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,426
Mm.

323
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,515
That's how Mikey looks
at you, you know.

324
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,996
- Does he?
- Yup.

325
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:24,347
He loves you so much, he's blind
to the glaring imperfections

326
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,349
that the rest of us
see, oh, so clearly.

327
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,573
So, when you dragged his body
down the stairs

328
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,531
was it by his feet or his head?

329
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,451
There's nothing around
here to indicate

330
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:43,497
that Dennis lived any
kind of life at all.

331
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,456
Yeah.

332
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:51,157
Carl, does this apartment
seem familiar to you at all?

333
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,159
Yeah. You
feeling it, too?

334
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:54,508
'Cause I've been
deja vu-ing ever since

335
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,814
we walked in the door.

336
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:59,643
What a sad
and lonely existence.

337
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:02,037
Only one pot..

338
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,039
...and one working burner.

339
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,347
Who could live like this?

340
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,525
Well, at least
his last moments on Earth

341
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,266
were spent with a woman
who really cared about him.

342
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,616
That's true. A man's lucky
to find something like that.

343
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,316
Yes, I am.
Grab his address book.

344
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,318
Let's get out of here.

345
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,277
Hey, so you think he died
while they were doing it

346
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:26,235
or during the
sweet afterglow?

347
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,675
Crossed that line again,
didn't I?

348
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:44,688
- Everything okay?
- Yeah. Is my mom alright?

349
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,864
Yeah. I made her
a Xanax smoothie.

350
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:49,389
She's upstairs sleeping
like a big, mean baby.

351
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,827
Good.

352
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:55,873
It's nice of you
to let her stay in our room.

353
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,527
- "Our" room?
- Well, yeah.

354
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,094
When I move in,
it's gonna be our room, right?

355
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,274
Last time we talked, you didn't
seem too keen on the idea.

356
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:08,147
Well, I've had some time to mull
it over and weigh the

357
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,366
pros and cons, and I've decided
that I would

358
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,368
rather live with the woman
I love than die

359
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,762
sad and lonely, hunched
over a piece of lemon cake.

360
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,203
Oh, Mike, Dennis
didn't die of..

361
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,988
- Yes, he did, case closed.
- Okay, okay, okay, fine, fine.

362
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,606
So, are you...ready
to move in here?

363
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,608
Well, I'd better be,
I already called

364
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:36,914
my landlord and gave notice
on the drive over here.

365
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:39,656
Come here.

366
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:46,185
- Hey, there's the new roomie.
- Evening, Mrs. Flynn.

367
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,143
I heard your mama
rang a guy's bells

368
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,362
all the way to heaven tonight.

369
00:19:57,848 --> 00:20:00,068
It's a house
full of women.. We talk.

370
00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:09,904
[theme music]