1 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,876 It's nice of the big guy to cook dinner for us. 2 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,878 Well, I don't know how good it'll be but just put it 3 00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:11,663 in your mouth and pretend you're enjoying it. 4 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:15,189 Story of my life. 5 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:18,148 Alright, ladies. Hot meat coming at you. 6 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:19,889 Oh, my God. 7 00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:24,415 It looks like the barn caught fire and nobody got out. 8 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:27,288 We got burgers, bratz and I threw in a couple of rib eyes 9 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:31,118 for you gals that like your meat straight-up. 10 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,903 Are you going to say it or am I? 11 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,775 I've been biting my tongue since "hot meat coming at you." 12 00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,431 Sweetie are you planning on serving 13 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,738 any kind of vegetables or, uh, does everything come 14 00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,827 from the petting zoo? 15 00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,742 No, hey, there's vegetables. 16 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:49,701 Pickles for the burgers, kraut for the dogs 17 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:53,357 and farm-fresh tomatoes served in an easy-to-squeeze bottle. 18 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,883 This, this looks heart-stoppingly good. 19 00:00:57,970 --> 00:00:59,624 Well, you ladies are always cooking for me 20 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,365 and I figured a little payback was in order. 21 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,975 - Thank you. - Very sweet. 22 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,586 If the paramedics have to use the paddles on me. 23 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:07,284 Leave my blouse on. I'm wearing an old bra. 24 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,505 [door bell rings] 25 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:14,378 I'll get it. It's probably Peta. 26 00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:17,207 Well, invite him in. There's plenty. 27 00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:25,476 Oh. 28 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,783 Mrs. Biggs. What a surprise. 29 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:32,744 We love it when you drop by so very unexpectedly. 30 00:01:32,831 --> 00:01:35,443 Let's be honest, if I hadn't put my finger over that peephole 31 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:39,490 we wouldn't be having this conversation. 32 00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:40,970 We've, we've been meaning to come visit you 33 00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,406 but I've been crazy at work 34 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:43,973 and with all the, the wedding planning.. 35 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,410 - Mike! - I get it. 36 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,064 People get busy, and some relationships 37 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,370 don't make the cut. 38 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,675 And it's usually the groom's mother 39 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:53,243 that gets the brown end of the stick. 40 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,726 If that means what I think it means 41 00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:01,469 that's certainly not a good thing. 42 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,166 Would you, would you like to sit down? 43 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:06,126 I would, but my hemorrhoids are telling me to stand. 44 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,781 Mike! 45 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,481 Mom, what are you doing here? 46 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,787 I just came by to bring you a little treat. 47 00:02:15,874 --> 00:02:18,312 You always loved your mommy's seven-layer cookies. 48 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,052 Oh, boy. Hey, you want to come in? 49 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,011 I was just getting ready to fire up some baby back ribs. 50 00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,535 No, thanks, I drank a cold can of chicken 51 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:28,148 and stars before I came over. 52 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,454 Oh, that reminds me, I got to flip the drumsticks. 53 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:33,109 Mike, for the love of God, no more meat! 54 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,981 Oh, God, he's grilling everything in sight. 55 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,287 You might want to hide Jim in the car. 56 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,289 [Jim growling] 57 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,073 I'm kidding. 58 00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,990 Please, come in and-and have dinner with us. 59 00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,644 No, no, I don't want anybody 60 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,429 dragging a lawn chair in from the yard 61 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:51,693 to make me feel like I'm on the guest list. 62 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,564 I just wanted to grab a passing glance 63 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:57,046 at my boy and give you this. 64 00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,440 Your seven-layer cookie recipe? 65 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,006 Don't need it anymore. 66 00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:03,052 His life is here with you people and this way 67 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:05,707 you won't have to pry it out of my cold, dead hand. 68 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,537 Well, thank you. 69 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,843 I'd never be able to make these the way that you do. 70 00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:14,237 That's true. 71 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:16,761 Let me know when the wedding is. 72 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,110 Assuming I'm invited. 73 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,287 Oh, stop. Of course you are. 74 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:21,940 We'll call you soon. 75 00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,073 If I don't pick up, I'm not screening. 76 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,206 'I'm probably dead.' 77 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:30,993 Okay, well, let's hope that doesn't happen 78 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,475 for a long, long.. Oh, God, screw it. 79 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:40,045 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 80 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,787 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 81 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,234 [instrumental music] 82 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,020 These seven-layer cookies are delicious. 83 00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,979 Each layer perfectly complements the next one. 84 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,634 Just when the coconut flavor starts to fade away 85 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:06,333 blam, hello, lady butterscotch. 86 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,076 Listen, honey, I-I hate to come between a man 87 00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:13,644 and his trans-fatty acids, but.. 88 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,257 Aren't you a little worried about your mom? 89 00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:20,042 Nah. I doubt she'll circle back again tonight. 90 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,436 No. She just seemed so sad. 91 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,308 I mean, I-I think she really misses you. You know what? 92 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:27,702 I am going to call her right now 93 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,791 and make plans for her next Sunday. 94 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,401 Ah, I hate giving up my Sundays. 95 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,795 That's the day I like to check things off my to-do list. 96 00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:34,839 Your to-do list? 97 00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,145 Today, you sat on the couch 98 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,842 and watched three football games. 99 00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,845 Check, check and check. 100 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,370 Besides, when too much time goes by between visits 101 00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,589 that crusty woman unleashes her wrath on me. 102 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:50,464 Hi. Mrs. Biggs, it's Molly. 103 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,901 Well, I don't want anything. 104 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,990 It was just so great seeing you today 105 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:57,601 and I-I thought it would be nice if we 106 00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,081 you know, planned a little get-together 107 00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:01,301 before too much time had passed. 108 00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:06,044 Tomorrow? Uh, just you and me? 109 00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:10,875 Ugh, I have to work all day.. 110 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,443 No, I'm not just shining you on. 111 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:18,013 Fine. Do you like Chinese? 112 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,931 Oh, I was actually referring to the food 113 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,150 but good to know. 114 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:27,022 She does not make this easy, does she? 115 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,415 If it weren't for these cookies, I would put her 116 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,330 in a home years ago. 117 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,421 [instrumental music] 118 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,555 You know, we didn't have to eat in the school cafeteria. 119 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,383 I would have been happy to meet you at a restaurant. 120 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,386 Hmm, pay an arm and a leg for cloth napkins 121 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:45,693 and having some Swish telling you where to sit? 122 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:49,218 No, thank you. Is there a gravy shortage, Petunia? 123 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:54,919 They're a little understaffed. 124 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:58,053 Maybe if they paid a decent wage, right? 125 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,576 I mean, am I right? 126 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,145 Nothing's changed. 127 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:05,626 I used to sling hash at Mikey's school for ten years. 128 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,236 It was nothing but a revolving door 129 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,717 of transients and parolees. 130 00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:13,024 What's your story? Work release or you tunnel out? 131 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,420 Good behavior. 132 00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:22,773 Okay. Let's break up this coffee klatch, gals, um.. 133 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:25,515 "Lynette.." What-what's the soup today? 134 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,690 Cream of Broccoli. 135 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:29,780 Uh-huh and I'm lady Gaga. 136 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,782 Okay, hey, you know, I'm.. 137 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:35,264 I'm going to have that Jell-O. 138 00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,222 Can't go wrong there, it's see-through. 139 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,181 That way, you know for sure if sweet cheeks here 140 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:42,445 tossed in a thumbtack or a rat turd. 141 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:46,101 I think it looks delicious and nutritious. 142 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,671 - Hey, guys. - Hi, Molly. 143 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,237 I'd ask you to sit down, but 144 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,196 we're kind of in the middle of something. 145 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,328 Oh, yeah, so are.. 146 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,244 So are we, I just.. 147 00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,421 Okay. 148 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:08,297 Bit of an icy reception at the cool kid table, huh? 149 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,821 Mm-hmm. Only that one woman, Rebecca. 150 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,041 We're both in line for the vice principal job 151 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:16,044 and she's just jealous 'cause I'm clearly a front runner. 152 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:19,482 and I'm a better teacher. And that's not her real hair color. 153 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,226 Rug don't match the drapes, huh? 154 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,625 Women don't really have rugs anymore, Peggy. 155 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:37,457 Dear lord, thank you for this food. 156 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,764 May it nourish me and give me the strength 157 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:43,506 to get through my day without taking a handful of pills 158 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,465 and swan-diving in front of an "L" train. 159 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,075 Amen. 160 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,472 So you seem good. Everything okay? 161 00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,691 Well, we've all got our crosses to bear 162 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,650 but apparently, the good lord has made mine 163 00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,565 out of lead and covered it in fire ants. 164 00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:03,700 But...whatever. His will be done. 165 00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,485 Well, you have been through a lot lately. 166 00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,139 I mean, with your boyfriend dying so suddenly and all. 167 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:11,099 Well, that's what men do, they leave. 168 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,622 Dennis left in a body bag 169 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,320 and Mike's dad left in a Chrysler imperial 170 00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:18,410 with his bowling trophy and a home-wrecking whore. 171 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:23,154 And I'm guessing you're also feeling 172 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:27,507 a little abandoned by your son about now, too. 173 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:30,422 Oh, is that what this little lunch date is all about? 174 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,467 What? 175 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:32,773 Think you can wine and dine me 176 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,383 with a two dollar government meal 177 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,819 then get me to spill my guts 178 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:38,648 like it's "Daddy touched me" week on Dr. Phil? 179 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,955 Peggy, please, keep your voice down. 180 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,261 Let me tell you something, I may be old 181 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:46,177 lonely and heartbroken, cast aside by my own flesh 182 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:49,224 and blood but you'll never hear me complaining about it. 183 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,835 Oh, no. You suffer in silence. 184 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,839 Damn right. Peggy Biggs is not a bellyacher. 185 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:59,147 When life deals me a crap hand, I play it. 186 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,584 Aw, go...I can't eat this. 187 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,413 Hey, bright eyes. 188 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,241 Think you can rustle me up some hot sauce 189 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,330 before you walk the green mile? 190 00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,683 She's going through the changes. 191 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,251 Let's hope second time's a charm. 192 00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,254 [instrumental music] 193 00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,650 I know you said no more meat, but these pork chops 194 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:27,218 followed me, me, me all the way home. 195 00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,959 Well, you're not grilling them this Sunday 196 00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,178 'cause we're spending it with your mom. 197 00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:31,571 You're kidding me, I thought you jumped 198 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,529 on that hand grenade with lunch. 199 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:34,965 I did. 200 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,837 It's your turn to take a little shrapnel. 201 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,142 You know, since you moved in here 202 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:40,318 you hardly see her at all anymore. 203 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,103 I rush over there every time she calls 204 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,583 and it's usually just to check the bushes 205 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,323 for skunks or peeping Toms. 206 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:49,676 By the way, in 15 years, one skunk, no peeping Toms. 207 00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,678 Well, I think she might appreciate you 208 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,244 just dropping by for no other reason 209 00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,203 than you're her son and you love her. 210 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:58,032 I don't know, that might make her a little suspicious. 211 00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,382 Well, here. 212 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,775 Take her cookie container back to her. 213 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,428 Aw, man! You guys ate all of 'em? 214 00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:05,256 I never got one. 215 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,997 Oh. 216 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,045 I tell you you look very pretty tonight? 217 00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:17,747 [door bell rings] 218 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,967 - 'Who is it?' - It's me, Mike. 219 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,884 The only Mike I know is my son 220 00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:26,277 and he's been MIA since he got a girlfriend 221 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:28,628 so hit the bricks, sicko. 222 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,761 Alright, mom, you made your point. 223 00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:34,808 I feel terrible. Now, open the door. 224 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,200 Sorry I didn't clean up 225 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,159 but I wasn't expecting company. 226 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,727 Ever! 227 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:42,816 What's going on? You're sleeping on the couch now? 228 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:44,905 Yeah, right next to my two best friends 229 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,907 the TV and the toilet. 230 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,302 And now you're letting Jim just eat 231 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,783 from a 50-pound bag of dog food? 232 00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:58,483 Hey, if I die in my sleep, I figure that buys me 233 00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,965 about a week before he starts gnawing at my sweetbreads. 234 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:08,145 Geez, he's like a ham in a dog suit. 235 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,845 You should see the size of his stools. 236 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:14,804 The other day he had to lay on his side to finish. 237 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,243 Alright, mom, listen to me. 238 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,942 I realize I've been very remiss as a son lately. 239 00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:25,119 I don't blame you, boy, I understand you got a woman now 240 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:28,209 and she's dragging you around by your tickle stick. 241 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,435 Okay. 242 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,220 I promise I'll come around more. 243 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,222 But you gotta meet me halfway. 244 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:44,791 - The Arby's on Cicero? - No! 245 00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,401 I mean you gotta pull yourself together. 246 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,664 You can't just mope around the house all the time. 247 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,492 Pretty soon Jim's legs won't be long enough 248 00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:51,841 to keep his wiener off the ground. 249 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,452 'Oh..' 250 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,847 Hush, now, he's very self-conscious about his weight. 251 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,640 The point is, you're a strong woman, a survivor 252 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,948 and it breaks my heart to see you wallowing in self-pity. 253 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,472 That's because you don't know what it's like to wake up 254 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,910 and feel so all alone. 255 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,478 You're right, I don't. 256 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,699 I've always had an amazing woman in my life taking care of me. 257 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,527 And nobody's ever going to replace her. 258 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,530 [sighs] Aw, I'm just an old, tired broad 259 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:30,227 ready for the scrap heap. 260 00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,925 Don't talk that way. 261 00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:34,579 You didn't roll over and give up when dad left. 262 00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,277 Maybe you should think about getting a job again. 263 00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:37,757 Meet new people. 264 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,584 You know, have someplace to go every day? 265 00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:43,763 And do what? Sweep hair at the Supercuts? 266 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,722 Read to the geezers at the old folks' home? 267 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,985 Hand out samples of summer sausage 268 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:52,597 to the moochers at the grocery store? 269 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:55,644 All I'm saying is, you still got a lot to offer. 270 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,952 I am good with people. 271 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,610 You do have a gift. 272 00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,091 Hey, do you need any help around the police station? 273 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,876 No! We do not. 274 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,096 But I'm sure, somewhere, there's a place 275 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,315 that you'd fit right in. 276 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,360 Hmm. 277 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,710 What's in the chef's stew? 278 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,495 Oh. 279 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,890 So far, I've fished out two cigarette butts 280 00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,587 and a shoelace. What do you think? 281 00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:27,502 You want to roll the dice? 282 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:36,424 I think it's a great idea for your mom 283 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,165 to start working again. 284 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:40,515 That's why I let my grandma do little odd jobs for me. 285 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:42,647 It keeps her young. 286 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,650 Well, she must feel like a teenager 287 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:49,263 when she's laying under your truck changing the oil. 288 00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,221 Yeah, it's worth the 20 bucks I give her 289 00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,745 just to see that happy, greasy smile on her face. 290 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,227 [cell phone ringing] 291 00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,099 Oh, it's Molly. 292 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,971 Hey, sweetie, what's going on? 293 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,320 Really? 294 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:04,974 My mom got a job at Molly's school. 295 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:07,585 - That's great! - That's great. 296 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,413 It's not? 297 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,286 It's not great. 298 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,635 Meatball sub. 299 00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,158 Bacon double cheeseburger. 300 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,073 Uh, no, no. Those are for Carl. 301 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,509 I only eat meat on the weekends. 302 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:21,077 I'm having cottage cheese and sliced peaches. 303 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,343 I can't be a part of this. 304 00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:30,130 Well, look, you're the one that told me 305 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,958 to go spend time with my mom. 306 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,481 If it's followed by something horrible 307 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,745 then that's on you, isn't it? 308 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:40,140 Samuel, can I get an iced tea with one Splenda? 309 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:42,664 Order me a chocolate milkshake, this is gonna take a while. 310 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,364 Really, so you have no idea 311 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,366 why I wasn't invited to that faculty meeting? 312 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,587 None. The e-mail should have gone out to everybody. 313 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,981 But you're the one that sends the e-mails out. 314 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,026 Everyone else got it. 315 00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,159 Do you know how to work your e-mail? 316 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,205 Yes, I do. 317 00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:06,340 And your address is still jollymolly77? 318 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:10,910 Close. "Cubfan4." 319 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,215 My bad. 320 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,782 It will not happen again. 321 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:15,871 Thank you. 322 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,919 - Cafeteria's downstairs. - I know where it is. 323 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:24,097 I got sloppy Joe in my hair. 324 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:26,751 You missed out on my fresh brownies today. 325 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,188 You ran out of that cafeteria 326 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:31,365 like a Mexican chasing a soccer ball. 327 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,802 No, I just had to make a quick phone call. 328 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,847 Well, I brought you some premium wedges. 329 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,024 Figured you could take some home to the boy. 330 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,243 That's sweet, Peggy. I-I appreciate it. 331 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:45,074 - Mind if I join you? - Uh...sure. 332 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,120 I usually put in a swirl of peanut butter 333 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:48,904 but apparently, now, every kid in the world 334 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:51,167 can't even look at a nut without his head swelling up 335 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:54,954 like a ballpark Frank. 336 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,087 Yeah, peanut allergies are actually pretty serious thing. 337 00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,002 That's because we're raising a generation 338 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,613 of thin-skinned sissies. 339 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,441 I hear they don't even keep score 340 00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,443 at sporting events anymore. 341 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,879 They don't want the kids to go home 342 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,185 and feel like a loser. 343 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,448 Some of them are losers. 344 00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,322 And the sooner they embrace that the less chance 345 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,193 they'll be crouching in a bell tower 346 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,110 with a high-powered rifle and a picture of the president. 347 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,852 Wow, well, if at all possible 348 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:26,681 we-we try not to refer to the students as losers. 349 00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,900 I've heard you say worse. 350 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:32,643 I was kidding, and that was at home 351 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:35,646 and that was before you and I had a professional relationship 352 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,432 which is the type of relationship 353 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,130 we should maintain while we're on school grounds. 354 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,653 Oh, I get it. 355 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,960 Professor high horse doesn't want to be seen 356 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,353 with Lola the lunch lady. 357 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,225 No, no, that's not what I'm saying. 358 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,923 I'm just not comfortable with my personal life 359 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,882 mixing with my professional life. 360 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:57,973 Don't worry. From now on, I'm just a faceless slop jockey. 361 00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,236 Come on, you don't need to be so dramatic about it. 362 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,108 Hey. That's the way it is. 363 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,153 Lunch ladies are invisible. 364 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,677 But on the plus side, I hear little kids 365 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,331 talking about cheating on tests 366 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,855 teachers talking about cheating on their spouses.. 367 00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:13,075 Um, what's that? 368 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,904 All I'm saying is that chippy I saw crossing out of here 369 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,037 sure is playing with fire. 370 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,690 Rebecca? What are you talking about? 371 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:24,086 - She's not married. - No, but the principal is. 372 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,701 She's doing it with the principal? 373 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,051 You didn't hear that from me 374 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:35,576 and I didn't hear it from the janitor. 375 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,795 Well, I better shimmy back down the totem pole. 376 00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,754 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 377 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,452 Hey, what are you.. What are you doing? 378 00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:46,021 I thought we were gonna... have some brownies. 379 00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:48,719 Doesn't strike me as very professional. 380 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:51,722 Oh, come on, we're both off the clock 381 00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,421 and we're...family. 382 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:58,164 Right? Mom? 383 00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:04,170 [instrumental music] 384 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:08,739 Wait, are you saying that distribution of school funds 385 00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:11,046 is decided by the principal's secretary? 386 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,091 Not officially. 387 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,179 But she's definitely 388 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,398 the blue-haired puppet master. 389 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:18,662 Because she's got the skinny on her boss. 390 00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:22,405 And by skinny, I mean photos. 391 00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,408 Get out. Ugh! 392 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,020 What do you hear about the vice principal job? 393 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,632 Am I still the front runner? 394 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:35,418 Ah, that's enough shop talk for one day. 395 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,680 We can gab more on Sunday 396 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,118 when you and Mikey come over for dinner. 397 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,903 Oh. Sunday, mm, gosh, I think-- 398 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,774 I'll make a roast and we can discuss 399 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:46,125 you and Mikey having a church wedding. 400 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,953 We weren't planning on a church wedding. 401 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,999 And I wasn't planning on serving goulash 402 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,609 while wearing a wire. 403 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:55,612 But if you want to dance, you got to pay the Fiddler. 404 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,313 I want to dance. 405 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,793 [instrumental music] 406 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:08,364 [both laughing] 407 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:11,150 Oh, my God. 408 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,890 [Molly] 'Oh, my God.' 409 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,197 Hey. 410 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,243 I think Jim's back down to his fighting weight. 411 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:21,812 He just took a dump so big I thought it was another dog. 412 00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,510 By the way, I talked to the priest 413 00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,556 at St. Bartholomew's and you're good to go. 414 00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:29,646 Wait, we're having church wedding? When did that happen? 415 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,910 Since I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and savior. 416 00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,310 And you know, our little get-togethers 417 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,312 don't have to be just on a Sunday. 418 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,661 Really? 419 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,751 My Wednesdays are pretty free, too. 420 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:50,450 Okay, Peggy.. 421 00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:53,540 I'm giving up Wednesdays, dinner better be extra juicy. 422 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,063 Oh, yeah. 423 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:58,545 And afterwards, we can look at some pictures. 424 00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:01,112 Ooh. Wednesday it is. 425 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,639 You know, I bowl on Wednesdays. 426 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,902 Not anymore, you don't. 427 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,214 [theme music]