1 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,832 Now, I understand why there's so many songs written about love. 2 00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,879 It truly is all you need and what makes the world go round. 3 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:13,274 Yeah, I know, Carl. I have a radio, too. 4 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,015 But have you really listened to those songs? 5 00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:16,277 For me, it's like my eyes and ears 6 00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:17,843 are open for the first time. 7 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:21,238 Well, your mouth couldn't go it alone forever. 8 00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,632 Colors look brighter, air smells fresher 9 00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:25,460 and I find myself smiling at strangers 10 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,766 for no reason at all. 11 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:31,509 Have a good day, citizen. Every single one is precious. 12 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:33,120 Wow, did you finally spend the night 13 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,991 with your girlfriend or did the lady in dispatch 14 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,515 wear the white sweater with the red bra? 15 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,082 Hey, don't drag it through the gutter. 16 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,562 Christina's a smart, beautiful woman 17 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:41,824 and we have a real connection. 18 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,782 You take your time with a gal like that. 19 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,349 You got to build up a trust 20 00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:48,874 before you make her ride the freak train to nasty town. 21 00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,833 My apologies, but usually at this point 22 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,704 in your relationships you've already broken up 23 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,272 with the woman and made out with her sister. 24 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,839 It's true that in the past I've been somewhat 25 00:00:56,926 --> 00:01:00,190 of a rascally opportunist, but since I've met Christina 26 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,974 I've gone through an emotional growth spurt. 27 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,976 Ah, I see, so, you're still full of crap 28 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,545 but now it's a whole different kind of crap. 29 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,634 A more mature crap. 30 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,941 A worldly crap. 31 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,769 Hey, Samuel, my good man 32 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,727 how's your morning going so far? 33 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,903 Well, the heat went out at my apartment at 4 o'clock 34 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,688 this morning and I was awakened by the sound 35 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:22,082 of my chattering teeth. 36 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,605 Then when I got to work, I slipped on a piece 37 00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:26,695 of Canadian bacon and pulled a hamstring. 38 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:29,045 What I'm hearing is he got to see the sun rise 39 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,874 his other leg is fine, and he's got a strong set of teeth. 40 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:37,401 You spend all day with him carrying a loaded gun. 41 00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,229 I have a newfound respect for you. 42 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,973 Hey, what are you and Molly doing this weekend? 43 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,322 Maybe the four of us could double, you know? 44 00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:46,889 Nice dinner, catch a movie. 45 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,412 Well, we're not eating out much now 'cause we're trying 46 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:49,935 to save money for the wedding. 47 00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:51,023 Maybe you and Christina could just come over 48 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,068 and have dinner at the house. 49 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,330 Oh, great idea. 50 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,679 That way she can see you and Molly 51 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,203 blissfully co-habitating and how comfortable 52 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,596 I am in a domestic setting. 53 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,729 Plus, it saves us about 80 bucks apiece 54 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,774 and I don't have to leave the house or put on hard shoes. 55 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,036 - Win-win. - You know what? 56 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,169 It really is a beautiful day. 57 00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:11,653 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 58 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:15,352 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 59 00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:31,499 Victoria, we are not inviting your pot dealer to my wedding. 60 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,240 Well, it's gonna be awkward if I don't ask him 61 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,372 'cause I see him like every other day. 62 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:40,160 He can come to the reception though, right? 63 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:43,772 We definitely want him at the reception. 64 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:44,816 Yeah, I mean, why should it just be 65 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:47,645 the happiest day of your life? 66 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:48,994 Come on, you guys. 67 00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,300 I can't make any other wedding plans 68 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,607 until we get this guest list done. 69 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,217 You know, this is gonna be the first 70 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,437 real wedding in the family. 71 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,874 Your daddy and I just had a quickie civil ceremony 72 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:00,354 on his lunch hour. 73 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,312 I know, mom, based on the timeline 74 00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:06,490 I'm pretty sure I was there. 75 00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:09,232 How come Molly got to go and I didn't? 76 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,106 - Evening, ladies. - Hi, Mike. 77 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,021 Hey, hon, did you have a good day? 78 00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:18,415 I've been riding around with a love-struck Carl 79 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,635 who's decided to replace speeding tickets 80 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:23,203 with friendly warning hugs. 81 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:27,076 On the plus side, I think that's actually a better deterrent. 82 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:29,165 Aw, I am so happy Carl found somebody. 83 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,080 Do you know if he's bringing her to the wedding? 84 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,647 Well, it is six months away. 85 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,650 That's a lot of time and a lot of Carl. 86 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:39,219 Hey, listen. About that guest list. 87 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:40,916 We really need to lock down a number 88 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:43,092 so we can put a deposit down on a reception hall. 89 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,398 Yeah, I know, sweetie. I'll get on it. 90 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,834 Oh, by the way, Carl and his girlfriend 91 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,705 are coming over for dinner on Saturday night. 92 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,141 No, uh, Saturday night? 93 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,361 I can't do anything, I have book reports to grade 94 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,450 and laundry, wedding stuff. 95 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,931 Well, just blow off the laundry and the wedding stuff. 96 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,280 Give yourself a break. 97 00:03:57,367 --> 00:04:01,023 You're starting to look kind of stressed. 98 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:04,331 Don't kill him, you love him. 99 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,158 You'd like to kill him, but you can't. 100 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,856 'Cause you love him. 101 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:14,732 Look at us. 102 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,168 You and your fiancee are having 103 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,475 me and my girlfriend over for dinner. 104 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,695 Are we civilized or what? 105 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,871 We've come a long way from spending our weekends 106 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,700 in strip clubs eating complimentary taquitos 107 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,397 and watching a girl pick up dollar bills 108 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,138 with her sweaty butt cheeks. 109 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,271 Yeah, well, not to denigrate those experiences 110 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:34,143 'cause those were special times. 111 00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,927 In their own way. 112 00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:38,103 Plus, we wouldn't be who we are if we hadn't gone through them. 113 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,845 Exactly. We wouldn't appreciate what we have now. 114 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,892 You're marrying a schoolteacher and I'm dating a doctor. 115 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,590 Not bad for a chubby guy and a pervert. 116 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,246 Right? 117 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,640 Hey, guess what Christina and I are doing this evening? 118 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,511 We're going shopping for a bottle of wine 119 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,121 to bring to your place. 120 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:58,080 Well, I think Molly's preparing salmon fillets. 121 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:01,126 So perhaps a fruity Chablis is in order. 122 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:03,868 Mm. Indubitably. 123 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,306 Oh, and by the way, my lady has a bit of a nut allergy. 124 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,046 - Like peanuts, or-- - No, your fatty nuts. 125 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,397 Uh, cashews, your hazelnuts, your pistachios. 126 00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:13,225 Very well. I'll inform the chef. 127 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,360 Ain't this something? 128 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,275 Buying wine, planning menus. 129 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,538 It's a far cry from you nursing a nine-dollar Dr. Pepper 130 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:22,887 while some stripper lifts my wallet 131 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,368 during a so-called "blindfold dance." 132 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,457 Not that those weren't good times. 133 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,590 Wouldn't trade 'em for the world. 134 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,985 Mom, please, can we just get this guest list done? 135 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,552 Now, what about aunt sis? 136 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,032 Is she on your "invite her, but don't sit her 137 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:40,557 next to me" pile or your "rot in hell" pile? 138 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:43,473 She's good to go, but that beer-bellied husband of hers 139 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:47,347 can keep his dead tooth and his grabby hands at home. 140 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,174 Really? I always liked Uncle Ferrell. 141 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:52,482 That's because you never had to slow dance with that SOB. 142 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,049 He turns your back from the crowd 143 00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,355 and goes at your butt cheeks 144 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,748 like he's trying to open an oyster. 145 00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,148 Well, okay. What about their kids? 146 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,323 Dougie and Mary Ellen. 147 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,239 You mean druggie and butch? 148 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,720 He'll be high as a kite and she'll be in the men's room 149 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,070 trying to straddle a urinal. 150 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,209 How about from your church? 151 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,037 Anybody there you can stand the sight of? 152 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,431 Why do we have to do the invitations now? 153 00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,954 The wedding ain't for months. 154 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,609 It's not just for the invitations, it's for 155 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,785 chairs and how many forks we need.. 156 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,919 I don't know, it's a big deal to Molly. 157 00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:40,617 Boy, when she cracks her whip, you just pull your panties down 158 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:44,273 and take it, don't you? 159 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,058 Mom, can we please just get this over with? 160 00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,452 Now, what about the ladies in your Bible study group? 161 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:53,500 Ah, those holier-than-thou hags hate me, I don't know why. 162 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:58,026 I'm a good Christian. I turn the other cheek. 163 00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,855 Which they can pucker up and kiss. 164 00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:07,339 Oh. 165 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,993 - Hey, honey. - Hey. 166 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,779 Vince and I were just talking, and we really think 167 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,216 a double wedding is the way to go. 168 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,957 No kidding. 169 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,046 Since we're gonna be all dressed up anyway. 170 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,657 The "I do's" become "we do's." Ala-kazam. 171 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,878 Twice the romance, half the cost. 172 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:26,707 Ala-kazam, indeed. 173 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:29,057 We could probably get a great package deal 174 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,754 on a honeymoon, too. 175 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,321 You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 176 00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:36,020 I'm guessing it's not, "Help Molly with the groceries." 177 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,501 - Princess Cruise. - Bingo. 178 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:40,808 It's like a floating Las Vegas. 179 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,941 Great shows, wonderful buffets, and once you're in 180 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,682 international waters, going topless 181 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:47,597 is practically mandatory. 182 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,167 Once in a blue moon you get seasick and yak. 183 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,516 But it's all you can eat, so you're not really 184 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:57,389 losing any money. 185 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,956 Well, let me think about it. 186 00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:02,569 Oh! Um...no. 187 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:05,267 We planted the seed. Just let it grow. 188 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,838 - Hey, sweetie. - Hey. 189 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,143 Would you help me put these groceries away? 190 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,449 Sure. 191 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:14,494 For tomorrow night I'm gonna make 192 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,321 a nice salmon with a dill sauce 193 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,367 and vegetables and a rice pilaf. 194 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:19,847 Hopefully, they will look like those things 195 00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:22,197 and taste like those things. 196 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,590 Wow, you're something else. 197 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,244 How did a guy like me ever get a gal like you? 198 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,072 I don't know, but don't blow your last two wishes 199 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:31,336 on pizza and beer. 200 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,556 Hey, did you and your mom finish your guest list? 201 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,427 Well, mom's still kind of working on hers 202 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,038 and I think I'm just gonna hang a sign-up sheet 203 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,430 down at the precinct. 204 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,389 Sign-up sheet? Why don't you just stick flyers 205 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:43,610 under people's windshield wipers? 206 00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:46,351 That's kind of impersonal. 207 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,832 At this rate, we're gonna lose our reception hall 208 00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:51,313 if we don't give them a head count or a deposit. 209 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,184 Honey, relax, you're starting to make yourself 210 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,535 and everybody else a little crazy. 211 00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:01,932 Oh.. 212 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:04,239 So you think I might be over-thinking it a little? 213 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,197 Well, we do have six months. 214 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,460 You know, I planned my super bowl party in four hours. 215 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,463 And that included two TVs and seven kinds of dip. 216 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:16,468 Wow, seven kinds of dip, that's.. 217 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:20,603 I didn't realize I was marrying such an expert party planner. 218 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:23,911 The key is not to micromanage. 219 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,130 You do what you can, you delegate the rest. 220 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:28,611 That's why I put Carl in charge of three of those dips. 221 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,701 Mm. Oh, yeah. 222 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,747 Well, maybe he can help you with the catering 223 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:37,315 and the florist, and.. Oh! And the reception hall. 224 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,883 - What do you mean? - I think you're right. 225 00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:43,104 Yeah! I'm gonna just delegate this stuff. 226 00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:45,889 Now, I don't want to be planning it all by myself 227 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,499 and driving people crazy 228 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,980 so I'm gonna leave it to an expert. 229 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,246 I-I wouldn't say I'm an expert. 230 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,162 You know, I am, I am feeling so much more relaxed already. 231 00:09:58,249 --> 00:09:59,773 Will you put those groceries away for me? 232 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,776 I'm gonna go take a bath. 233 00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:05,169 Wait, I have to plan a wedding now? 234 00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:06,518 I'll see you in six months. 235 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,651 I'll be the one in the white dress. 236 00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:12,046 Seven dips. That's impressive. 237 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,143 Mom, you gotta quit changing your mind 238 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,710 about the guest list. 239 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:29,193 Yes, I realize all your friends are "two-faced turds." 240 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:33,154 Just give me a number, 'cause you're killing me! 241 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,809 Alright mom, thanks. 242 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:38,812 Yes, I know, it's gonna be a beautiful wedding. 243 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,771 Yes, I am a lucky guy. Bye. 244 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,035 Listen, you'd better get dressed. 245 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,080 Carl and Christina are gonna 246 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,168 be here in a few minutes. 247 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,212 Well, I'm still expecting calls 248 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,561 from a couple of bakeries. 249 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,085 I bumped up the cake tasting. 250 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,521 I actually drew up a little chart 251 00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:53,653 with elimination brackets like they do 252 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:54,828 with the final four. 253 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,220 Red velvet and mocha chip 254 00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,832 are the top two seeds. 255 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,703 Hey, remember, don't overthink it. 256 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,140 You'll just make everybody crazy. 257 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,974 - This wine is delicious. - It ought to be. It cost $35. 258 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,803 - Carl. - What? 259 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:15,152 You know, sometimes the flavor is enhanced 260 00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:17,328 if you know it's pricey. They've done studies. 261 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,200 He's right, I pawned generic ice cream off 262 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,464 on Mike before, telling him it was Haagen-Dazs. 263 00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,466 Yeah, well, let's be honest, that man has never met a bowl 264 00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:25,902 of ice cream he didn't like. 265 00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,208 You give him something white and frozen 266 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,644 he'll give it a lick. 267 00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,692 I appreciate you making dinner for us tonight. 268 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,259 I'm sure you're swamped with work and wedding plans. 269 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,826 It has been a little crazy, but 270 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,741 Mike's actually been helping out quite a bit. 271 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,874 Good for you, when I was planning my wedding 272 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,440 my ex-husband didn't want to have anything to do 273 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:43,746 with the decision making. 274 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,487 You know, some men can't handle it. 275 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,532 See, me, I got a decisive nature. 276 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,231 You show me two things, I'm going to pick one. 277 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,196 Hey, you guys. Sorry to keep you waiting. 278 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,546 It's okay, sweetie. I was just singing your praises. 279 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,592 She was, I think it's great that you're helping out 280 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,116 with the wedding plans. It's too much work for one person. 281 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,901 Oh, believe me, I know. 282 00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,467 And that's why I say we forget 283 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:12,732 all the wedding planning and just elope. 284 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,343 What? 285 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,519 Why blow a ton of money on a stupid ceremony 286 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,826 when it's driving us both crazy? 287 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,786 So just forget all the work I've already put in 288 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,180 and get married at the courthouse? 289 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,660 Exactly. And we don't have to wait six months. 290 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,705 We can do it tomorrow. 291 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,054 And since I'm a civil employee 292 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:34,014 they said there's no waiting. 293 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:38,409 See? No more blowing time or money on something nobody wants. 294 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:45,242 Uh, excuse me, I'm, uh.. 295 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,897 I'm going to go check on the salmon. 296 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:54,904 She must be going to the lake. 297 00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:02,651 Stay here. I'll go talk to her. 298 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,309 [door closes] 299 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,311 Man, you don't know a thing about women. 300 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,664 He's been in charge of our wedding for exactly 16 hours 301 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:19,755 and his one big idea is, "Let's not have a wedding." 302 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,453 Well, it's a sign of how much you love him that you actually 303 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,586 thought he was gonna be helpful in the first place. 304 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,544 I never thought I'd be one of those people 305 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:30,287 who would care so much about a wedding, but I do. 306 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:33,638 Well, I wanted one since I was a little girl. 307 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,989 Every Saturday, I'd make my little brother 308 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:39,035 pretend to marry me in the backyard. 309 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:42,125 My dad tells everybody that's why he's gay now. 310 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,390 Isn't it silly that I-I want him 311 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,349 to be as excited about it as I am? 312 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:52,309 No. A little unrealistic, but not silly. 313 00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:54,790 My ex-husband and I must have broken up at least four times 314 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,096 when we were planning our wedding. 315 00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:58,011 Wow, and you still went through with it? 316 00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,927 Yeah, well, the invitations had gone out, the band was booked 317 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,232 and my brother had been rehearsing 318 00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,104 "Over the rainbow" for months. 319 00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,542 I don't know, maybe he's right. 320 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,978 I mean, maybe we should just 321 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,807 do it quick and get it over with. 322 00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:14,505 Is that really what you want? 323 00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:17,595 No. I want a real wedding. 324 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:22,470 The gown and the flowers and relatives getting drunk 325 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:25,560 and saying weird things to each other. 326 00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:28,563 I guess I'm old-fashioned. 327 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,521 Well, then you need to tell him that. 328 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,175 I have told him. 329 00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,874 You've turned off the TV, looked him in the eye 330 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:39,704 and said, "I want a traditional, old-fashioned wedding?" 331 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,750 Not those exact words. 332 00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,578 Then, honey, this is on you. 333 00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:47,930 Subtlety and nuance are like the metric system to men. 334 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,932 You need to tell him exactly what you want 335 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:53,501 and then make him repeat it back to you. 336 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:54,850 Maybe have him write it on his hand. 337 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,591 There you go. 338 00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,160 I was just trying to make it easier on her. 339 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,857 All the planning was driving her crazy. 340 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,120 So take away all the planning. Seemed logical to me. 341 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,340 Yeah, women don't live in a logical world. 342 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:09,386 Man, don't just gulp that down. That's $1.25 a sip. 343 00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,476 You know, I probably shouldn't have 344 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,043 just sprung it on her like that. 345 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,437 It was astonishingly insensitive on your part. 346 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:19,092 And as your best man, I too was a little blindsided. 347 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:22,138 But did I run out of the house crying? No, I did not. 348 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,923 I kept my pain inside. 349 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,229 I appreciate that. 350 00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,883 I mean, that day's important to me, too. 351 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:31,843 I already got my speech written and half memorized. 352 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,151 - Am I tasting hazelnuts? - I don't know. 353 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:38,024 - Oh! - Whoa! 354 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,678 [Carl] 'Oh, my God!' 355 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,463 Carl, I think I need to go to the emergency room. 356 00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,639 - I told you no nuts! - I've had a lot on my mind! 357 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,597 I've been planning a wedding! 358 00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,078 Can we discuss this in the car? My throat's kind of closing up. 359 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:53,039 I'll drive, I'll drive. Oh, God! 360 00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:59,132 We are going to the hospital now so Christina doesn't die! 361 00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:05,312 No, no, you get the coats, I'll cork the wine. 362 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968 Come on! 363 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,493 [instrumental music] 364 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:15,757 The nurse said she's going to be fine. 365 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,106 They gave her a shot of Epinephrine. 366 00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,456 - Ah, good. - Yeah. 367 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,765 Well, Carl's never going to let me forget this one. 368 00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:25,767 Well, you can understand him being a little peeved. 369 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:29,814 I mean, his girlfriend's tongue blew up like a life raft. 370 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,294 Scary, wasn't it? 371 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:33,775 It looked like she was coughing up a ham loaf. 372 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:40,303 I guess I messed up everybody's night, huh? 373 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:43,437 Well, you hurt my feelings, Mike. 374 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:46,309 I mean, I thought our wedding was important to both of us 375 00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:50,009 and it would be fun for us to plan it together. 376 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,575 But you weren't having any fun. 377 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,578 It's because I was doing it all by myself. 378 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,972 The reason I'm marrying you is 'cause I actually like 379 00:16:57,059 --> 00:17:00,236 doing things with you. 380 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,499 We do have a good time together, don't we? 381 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,153 Mostly. 382 00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,767 I'm sorry. 383 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,726 From now on I'm with you every step of the way. 384 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,990 We're going to plan our special day together. 385 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,558 Look me in the eye and say that again. 386 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,734 [Carl sighs] 387 00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,344 Doctor says she doesn't have to stay overnight 388 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,085 so it'll just be a few more minutes. 389 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,695 - Good. - Carl, I'm so sorry. 390 00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:27,220 I feel awful. Ah! 391 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:28,917 No, it was certainly negligent on your part 392 00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:31,050 but on the plus side, I'm scoring some big points 393 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,355 in there just by holding her hand and telling her 394 00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,009 she still looks beautiful to me. 395 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,185 - Sweet. - Yeah, tell me about it. 396 00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:38,840 The woman looked like Apollo Creed at the end of Rocky II. 397 00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,629 Alright, I better hop back in there. 398 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:46,935 They're getting ready to shoot some more steroids 399 00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:48,806 into her supple little behind and, uh 400 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,244 I don't want to miss that. 401 00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:54,943 See, you could have done a lot worse. 402 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,511 Well, who'd have thunk it? 403 00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:58,729 [instrumental music] 404 00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,606 [sighs] I'm sorry tonight went down the way it did 405 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,390 but I'm hoping you'll give me another chance. 406 00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:10,306 [chuckles] Of course. 407 00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:12,482 I mean, I'm sure your friends 408 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,702 didn't intentionally try to kill me. 409 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:17,748 I'm going to stay on their good side just in case. 410 00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:20,055 Well, speaking of which, Mike's really been riding me 411 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,317 about a head count for the wedding 412 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,841 and I-I don't want to push you or anything. 413 00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:27,889 Just need to let him know if I'm going to be a plus one or not. 414 00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,544 That's a long way off. It's not binding. 415 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,068 No contract involved. 416 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,508 I would love to be your date. 417 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,163 That's great. 418 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,860 And listen, I'll hammer home the whole nut thing 419 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,166 so you can relax and eat whatever you want 420 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:45,385 at the reception. 421 00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:46,429 I'll carry a sandwich around 422 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,822 in my pocket, I don't care. 423 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,564 Appreciate it. 424 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,882 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 425 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,632 Carl McMillan plus one. 426 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:36,349 [theme music]