1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,353
You guys really go all out
into holidays, huh?

2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,007
Yes, we do.
And save your air.

3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,357
'cause you still have to blow up
an eight foot snowman.

4
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,534
And do that inside of the house.

5
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:14,101
I did it on the front lawn
last year

6
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,277
and we got a lot of calls
from the neighbors.

7
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:22,109
It's not your fault they put
his little nozzle in the front.

8
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:24,198
And now that we have a man
that can get up on the roof

9
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:25,982
with Christmas lights
and a nail gun

10
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,766
we are gonna pimp
this bitch out.

11
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:32,075
Should I try and untangle these,
or you just want to drop them

12
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,599
from the roof on New Year's Eve?

13
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,428
Oh, no, for New Year's Eve we do
Roman candles and air horns.

14
00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:39,387
Oh, God, the neighbors hate us.

15
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:43,043
Oh. Oh, look, stockings.

16
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,957
[together]
Aww.

17
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,568
We got to hang
one up for Mike, too.

18
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,657
Do you still have yours
from when you were a kid?

19
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,485
Oh, mom didn't really
save a lot of that stuff.

20
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:51,834
And truthfully, Christmas wasn't

21
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,096
really a big deal
around our house.

22
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,837
But you still celebrated,
didn't you?

23
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,230
Sure, when my dad was around

24
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,232
we'd have a very
traditional Christmas.

25
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,103
He'd get a tree,
we'd exchange gifts

26
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,626
my mom would call him cheap
and start a fight

27
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,585
he'd take a bottle of booze
into the backyard

28
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,152
I'd cry and we'd go to bed.

29
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,461
Oh, my God,
was it like that every year?

30
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,420
Oh, after he moved out
it got kind of sad.

31
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,859
Mom and I would have
our Christmas dinners at Denny's

32
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:19,905
and then go over to Daley Plaza
and watch the ice skaters fall.

33
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,212
Ah, how she loved
to watch 'em fall.

34
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,652
Well, we're gonna get rid
of the ghosts of Christmas Past

35
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:28,871
and make you some new memories,
right, girls?

36
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,525
- Right.
- You betcha.

37
00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,440
Tomorrow we're gonna go
pick out a Christmas tree

38
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:35,573
and pop some popcorn
and string some cranberries.

39
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,401
- Apple cider.
- With schnapps.

40
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:40,926
- Hot cocoa.
- With schnapps.

41
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:43,407
The house'll be smelling like
gingerbread and sugar cookies.

42
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,366
And schnapps.

43
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,847
Holiday music playing 24/7.

44
00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,849
- That sounds really nice.
- You bet it does.

45
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,199
So strap on your elf hat, buddy

46
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,896
'cause Santa Claus
is coming to town.

47
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,332
And that twinkly-eyed rascal

48
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:57,856
likes to party
with the Flynn girls.

49
00:01:57,943 --> 00:02:02,078
And in this house, he don't care
if you've been naughty or nice.

50
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:04,994
That's good, 'cause in my house
if you smarted off to your mom

51
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:06,561
during Christmas week

52
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,302
your present
went from a Super Nintendo

53
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,565
to a bag of tube socks
with a note from Santa sayin'

54
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:13,307
"If you don't like it, go live
with your dad and his whore."

55
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,752
Okay.

56
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,928
- Who else wants schnapps?
- I do.

57
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,539
I could use one.

58
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:32,108
No, sweetie, probably better
if you didn't drink.

59
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,892
♪ For the first time ♪

60
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:37,722
♪ In my life ♪

61
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:41,204
♪ I see love ♪♪

62
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,128
[indistinct chatter]

63
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:55,697
Okay, okay, alright,
settle down.

64
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,090
Now, I know you're all excited
about Christmas break

65
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,441
and I'm happy to tell you
there won't be any homework.

66
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:01,572
[kids cheering]

67
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,052
That is my present to you.

68
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,575
But I do want you
to do one thing for me.

69
00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:07,230
- Damn it.
- No, come on!

70
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,276
During the holiday season
when you're playing

71
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,365
with all your new toys,
I want you to pick out

72
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:14,019
one person and do
something nice for them.

73
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:16,065
I thought you said
there was no homework.

74
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,980
This isn't really homework.

75
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,808
This is just offering
to do something kind

76
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,462
for somebody
who might need your help.

77
00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:23,159
It doesn't have to be
somebody in your family.

78
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,726
- Like a stranger?
- No..

79
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,076
No! Not like a stranger.

80
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,904
We talked about that,
that's dangerous.

81
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,645
There are a lot
of creep-o's out there.

82
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:31,950
But my point is that it's..

83
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,125
[school bell ringing]

84
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,302
...better to give than receive

85
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,999
and to be thankful
for what you have..

86
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,175
Walk, don't run.

87
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,568
Happy holidays.

88
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:43,353
Whoo, parents' problem now.

89
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:49,533
- Molly.
- Rebecca. Hi.

90
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,883
I just wanted to stop by
to wish you a happy holiday

91
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:54,190
since you're probably
not coming to the faculty party.

92
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,583
No, I was gonna swing by

93
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,933
as long as
there's still free booze.

94
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:01,153
Oh, you don't know, do you?

95
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,938
Well, I don't want
to be the one to tell you

96
00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:04,418
so I'm just gonna leave.

97
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,420
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

98
00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,813
Tell, tell me what?

99
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,121
[sighs]
Nothing is official,
but rumor has it

100
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:14,254
you're not getting
the vice-principal job.

101
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:18,388
That's impossible.

102
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,782
There's no one
more qualified at this school.

103
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,827
I mean, who are they
going to give it to if not..

104
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,438
Oh..

105
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:28,790
Well, that's just terrific.

106
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:31,183
- Isn't it?
- Indeedy it is.

107
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,011
Yeah, just wow.

108
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,883
- Fantastic turn of events.
- Thank you.

109
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,624
No, thank you.

110
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:39,714
Stoppin' by and taking the time
to tell me your good news!

111
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,672
Son of a bitch!

112
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:44,849
Here we go, ladies.

113
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,634
Nothin' says
"Happy birthday, Jesus"

114
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,898
like a big jug of stupid juice.

115
00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:53,162
Fill 'er up. I'm drivin'
on a suspended license anyway.

116
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,730
Slow down, Drunky McGee.

117
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,385
You've been sucking the gin
teat since 0600

118
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,474
when you snapped
on your hairnet.

119
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,954
It's the holidays.
Kiss my ass.

120
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:07,089
Is that how you're signing
your Christmas cards this year?

121
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,960
Why break tradition?

122
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:12,703
Alright, ladies, raise 'em up.

123
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:15,880
Here's to three weeks of not
havin' to serve Mexican goulash

124
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:19,144
to a bunch of whiney,
snot-nosed ingrates..

125
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,146
...and their students.

126
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:27,544
Birdie, we're in here. Sit down,
you're missin' the party.

127
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:30,112
Poor thing's five squares
short of a bingo, ain't she?

128
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:34,334
They actually tried
sacking her a few years ago.

129
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,771
She kept pulling the fire alarm
thinkin' it was nickel slots.

130
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:40,252
Well, thank God
she shrunk so much

131
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,820
and she can't reach 'em anymore.

132
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,518
Peggy, can I talk
to you for a second?

133
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,433
I'll be right back,
but don't start decoratin'

134
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,609
Birdie without me.

135
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,915
Is the rumor true
about the vice-principal job?

136
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,308
It's not a rumor, it's a fact.

137
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:55,093
I just saw the e-mail
on the janitor's iPhone.

138
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,269
Damn it, I worked my butt off
to get that job.

139
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,967
She worked her butt, too.

140
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,491
But it was on the principal's
joystick and whatever else

141
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,711
he pointed at
and told her to straddle.

142
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,191
It's not fair.

143
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,411
I told you to take the low road.

144
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:12,067
No. I wasn't gonna use blackmail
to get a job I clearly deserved.

145
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:14,069
It's not supposed
to work like that.

146
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:17,202
Welcome to the wonderful world
of disappointment.

147
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,596
The good news is,
you're the young, hot one.

148
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,860
[instrumental music]

149
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,214
Wow, this new beard is nice.

150
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:32,348
Not too itchy, very lifelike.
None too soon.

151
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:35,264
Because the old one was starting
to get a little gamey.

152
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,787
Well, it was attached
to your mouth

153
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,702
and that area gets
a lot of holiday traffic.

154
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:43,185
After a couple of hot chocolates
and a taffy apple

155
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,013
it starts to look
like a poodle's ass.

156
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,452
I'm glad I sprung
for the deluxe one.

157
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,585
It says on the label,
"It's the facial hair preferred

158
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:53,282
"by most Santas, Father Times

159
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,633
and ZZ Top tribute bands."

160
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,070
Yeah, meanwhile, I got to put on
that same ratty elf costume

161
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:01,029
with the green tights
and a tiny shirt.

162
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,118
Thank God I've got shapely legs
and confidence.

163
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,730
Are you angling
to be Santa again?

164
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:09,341
Lord, no! I'm still trying to
get over the sting of last year.

165
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,039
All them kids coming up to me
talking about

166
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,389
"Santa ain't black,
Santa ain't black."

167
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,391
And those were the black kids.

168
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,264
Well, me walking around
in that elf costume

169
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,441
wasn't exactly a crowd pleaser.

170
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,094
Yeah, like
those underprivileged kids

171
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,922
haven't seen enough ugly
in their lives.

172
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,839
- Happy holidays, gentlemen.
- Alright.

173
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:30,972
And keep the change.

174
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,366
A two dollar and 15 cent tip?

175
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,761
It truly
is a season of miracles.

176
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,981
- Just take it.
- God bless you, kind sir.

177
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,678
I shall run out right now

178
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:44,420
and buy the fattest Christmas
goose in all the land.

179
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,422
And perhaps a skateboard
for Tiny Tim

180
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:49,120
now that I can afford
to get his little legs fixed.

181
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:54,125
See, that right there
is why I never tip him.

182
00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,650
[instrumental music]

183
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:59,130
Oh!

184
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,306
Well, it's officially Christmas.

185
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,352
Birdie's lit and so are we.

186
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,794
All I'm saying is that
that job should have been mine.

187
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:12,883
But who did they give it to?

188
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,843
The perky little slut Rebecca.

189
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,933
I hate perky little sluts.

190
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,239
You still harpin'
about losing that job?

191
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:25,635
Hey, I come in early,
I come on the weekends.

192
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:28,290
Why? Because I care.
That's why.

193
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,292
Well, there is your
first mistake.

194
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,555
Once those bastards know
you give a damn

195
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,688
that's when they got you
by the little gray curlies.

196
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,907
- Oh, yeah.
- That's right!

197
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:40,171
No, no, no. It's not
supposed to be like that!

198
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:42,391
Hard work and dedication

199
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,828
are supposed
to be rewarded, right?

200
00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:46,830
Sure, when you walk
through the forest

201
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,919
all the bluebirds
are singing pretty songs

202
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:51,748
putting flowers in your hair
and crappin' candy kisses.

203
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,316
Wake up, sap, life is cruel.

204
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:58,146
I learned that lesson a long
time ago with my first husband.

205
00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,408
Oh, here we go.

206
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,018
Another tragic tale about you

207
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,672
and that bowlegged
son of a bitch.

208
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,282
I like bowlegged men.

209
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:06,894
Just grab 'em by the ankles
and make a wish.

210
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:13,204
He was working double shifts
so we could save up enough money

211
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,685
to buy our own weenie truck.

212
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,557
Blah, blah, blah.

213
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,515
Then he drained the bank account
and moved to Wisconsin

214
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:20,951
with some half-Cherokee gal.

215
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,475
Chippewa.

216
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,043
The point is,
your heart was broken

217
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,871
your dreams were squashed

218
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:32,528
and now Pocahontas is driving
around in your weenie truck.

219
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,835
What am I supposed to do?
Just stop tryin'?

220
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,663
I can't live like that.

221
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:41,493
I need to believe that if I do
my best and be a good person

222
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,061
I'll be the one
driving the weenie truck.

223
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,717
[instrumental music]

224
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,591
Vin, that's a beautiful tree.

225
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:52,940
Best one they had.

226
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,942
I own the vacant lot
where the guy sells 'em

227
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,987
so he gives me first choice.

228
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:59,120
That's why we get
free pumpkins at Halloween

229
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,774
stuffed bunnies on Easter

230
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:03,211
and crack cocaine
pretty much year round.

231
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,826
[Mike]
'There she is,
my Christmas angel.'

232
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,915
And you're just in time
to help decorate the tree.

233
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,569
Whoo!

234
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,052
Let's decorate
the hell out of that thing!

235
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,488
Whoo!

236
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,754
Whoo! Let's throw
some tinsel on it.

237
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,409
And pretend
that it's not already dead.

238
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,541
Whoo-oo-oo!

239
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,156
Look at the little dead tree.

240
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:39,116
See you in about two weeks
when you're rottin' on the curb.

241
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:46,080
Whoo. And to all a goodnight.

242
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,481
Anybody want schnapps?

243
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,483
[instrumental music]

244
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:03,793
[instrumental music]

245
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:08,406
Molly? Sweetie, you awake?
It's time for lunch.

246
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,887
- Not hungry.
- Come on, rise and shine.

247
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,672
You've been under those covers
for two days now.

248
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,064
Let's see that pretty
little face of yours...

249
00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:15,587
Whoa.

250
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:18,895
- What?
- Nothin'.

251
00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:20,375
I just thought
it might be kind of fun

252
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:21,593
to get out of the house today.

253
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,291
Take a shower, brush our teeth

254
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,162
maybe buy some gifts
for our loved ones.

255
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,598
Just put my purse under the tree

256
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,253
and tell everyone
to take what they want.

257
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,299
Come on, you don't need
that vice-principal job.

258
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:32,909
You're still a great teacher.

259
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,390
Was a great teacher.
I'm done with that.

260
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,739
What are you talkin' about?

261
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:38,959
What is the point?

262
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,613
I'm nothing,
but a glorified baby sitter.

263
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,356
I'd actually make more money
if I was a baby sitter.

264
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:48,229
Hey, why don't we try to salvage
what's left of the day?

265
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,753
I'll go rustle us up some lunch
and you make yourself pretty.

266
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:55,192
Not that you're not
pretty already.

267
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,325
Prettier is what I meant.

268
00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:00,328
- If that's possible.
- Get out!

269
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,504
[instrumental music]

270
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,161
Well, who is this pretty
little thing, Jingles?

271
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,771
[high-pitched voice]
This is Cindy.

272
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:12,079
And according to your list,
she's been a very good girl.

273
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,385
- Is that true, young lady?
- Yes.

274
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,691
Well, let's see
if we can find

275
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:18,128
an extra special present
for you.

276
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:20,261
I'm on it, Santy Claus.

277
00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:22,437
Ooh!

278
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,744
This feels like a dolly.

279
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,050
But don't open it
until Christmas morning

280
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:30,184
even though Jingles here already
ruined the surprise for you.

281
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,230
Make sure
you give her a good home

282
00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,710
and don't ever let her
quit school, do drugs

283
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:37,321
or get a tramp stamp.

284
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:41,108
You just make the toys, Jingles,
don't tell 'em how to raise 'em.

285
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,196
Thank you, Santa.

286
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,285
You're welcome, little princess.

287
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:45,982
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

288
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,592
Santa needs to take five.

289
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:50,682
Yeah, I can see
how you might get tired

290
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,295
sitting on that throne while
I lift children onto your lap.

291
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:57,907
Santa needs to take a little
"Pause for the Claus."

292
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,046
So when we're done here
you want to grab a bite to eat?

293
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,178
If we stay in costume,
we might get a free dessert.

294
00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:09,919
Mmm, says the man
who's not trying to hide

295
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,400
his Christmas package
under a short elf shirt.

296
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,403
What's the matter,
Molly still hasn't pulled out

297
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,013
of her funk yet?

298
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:20,060
- Hey, when are you coming back?
- Be cool, little man.

299
00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:23,106
Santa has a domestic situation
up at the North Pole.

300
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,412
I'm sure
she'll pull out of it.

301
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,022
You just need
to give her a little space.

302
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,372
I hope so 'cause I've never
really had a good Christmas.

303
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,940
and I'm starting to think
maybe mom's right.

304
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,334
It is me.

305
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:34,901
I just want my toy.

306
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,293
If you don't mind
your manners, you're not

307
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:37,773
gonna get a toy this year.

308
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,210
You're not real.
Elves aren't black.

309
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,691
Hey, there are black elves
all over the North Pole.

310
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,171
How many times you been?

311
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:47,261
None? That's what I thought.

312
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,089
Carl, let it go.
He's just a kid.

313
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:52,396
And you're not really Santa.
Santa's not that fat.

314
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,181
You know how I got this fat?

315
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,444
By eating
all the little naughty kids.

316
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,012
So butter up and I'll see you
Christmas mornin'.

317
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,192
Why does this happen every year?

318
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,150
I don't know.
I-I blame the parents.

319
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,459
[music on television]

320
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,904
How do you drink that eggnog
without booze in it?

321
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,820
Basically, you're just
guzzlin' pancake batter.

322
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,825
Who said there's no booze in it?

323
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:36,179
Charlie Brown's a chump.

324
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:39,182
Whoa! Charlie Brown
is a beloved character.

325
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,663
And this is a timeless
holiday classic.

326
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,317
Look at those little jerks.

327
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,928
They all have the same giant
heads, just different hair.

328
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:50,498
Much like the Moranto family.

329
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:53,457
Men, women, babies.
All got the same melon.

330
00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:56,199
You think you're gonna grow
into it, nobody ever does.

331
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,942
I can't believe they keep
shovin' this baloney

332
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,075
down our throats every year.

333
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,424
Oh, come on.

334
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,295
You're tellin' me
your heart doesn't swell

335
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:08,081
when the little gay kid
tells the bald-headed bastard

336
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,953
about the true meaning
of Christmas?

337
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,824
If this were real life

338
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,827
Charlie Brown would've tied
Linus' blanket around his neck

339
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:19,527
like a noose and jumped off
the top of Snoopy's doghouse.

340
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,748
Wow, you are grim.

341
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:26,621
[doorbell dings]

342
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,579
You've got a big melon head.

343
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,321
Please let it be carolers.

344
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,671
I'm dying to turn the hose
on some carolers.

345
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,849
- Miss Flynn?
- Who's askin'?

346
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,766
My name's Matt Dalton.

347
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,246
I was a student of yours
about ten years ago.

348
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,118
Okay.
Well, thanks for stopping by.

349
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,207
- Don't be a stranger.
- But wait, wait, wait..

350
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,253
You don't remember me?

351
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:51,646
I was kind of fidgety.

352
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,082
I spent most of my time
drawing in my notebook

353
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:56,564
and on my desk
and on the walls.

354
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,740
Look, Matt, I'm sure you think
you're narrowing it down

355
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,917
but I've seen a lot
of Ritalin kids in my day.

356
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:06,704
Do you remember
when you walked by me

357
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,968
and I'd drawn
this big dragon on my desk?

358
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,317
And instead of getting
mad, you gave me

359
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,883
a sheet of drawing paper
and told me to make it

360
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,016
bigger, more colorful?

361
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,975
And I hung it on the board.

362
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,541
You did.

363
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,371
Matt Dalton.

364
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:25,201
I do remember you.
That was a dragon?

365
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,421
All these years
I thought it was a dog.

366
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,423
I mean, a beautiful dog.

367
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,860
Very colorful.

368
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,470
Well, you were the only teacher
that encouraged me

369
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,037
to pursue my drawing.

370
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,387
So I wanted to come by
and thank you.

371
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:38,780
And to tell you I got accepted

372
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,304
into
the School of Art and Design.

373
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:44,003
Really? That's great.

374
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,223
It was because of you.

375
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:50,357
Well...wow.

376
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,533
Do you...do you want
to come in for a bit

377
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:55,449
and maybe have, um, some eggnog?

378
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,366
Don't worry, he's nobody.

379
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,025
I gotta get going, but, um..

380
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,899
I wanted to give you this.

381
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,379
Hey.

382
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:16,165
Aw.

383
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,951
Hang on to it.

384
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,910
Hopefully, it'll be
worth something someday.

385
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,348
It already is.

386
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:28,221
Thanks, Miss Flynn.
Merry Christmas.

387
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:29,918
Merry Christmas, Matt.

388
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:39,841
I'm sorry,
but this is totally a dog.

389
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:51,026
[instrumental music]

390
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,986
[indistinct chatter]

391
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,860
Hey. Look, everybody,
Santa's here.

392
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,297
- You're up.
- I am.

393
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,908
- And dressed.
- And clean.

394
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,607
So, all's well in Whoville?

395
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,479
Yeah, I didn't want
to be vice-principal anyway.

396
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:13,222
All they really do is push paper
and punish kids. And..

397
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,442
I'd rather teach them
and inspire them.

398
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,922
I thought you said there was
a significant pay bump, too.

399
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,794
Vince.

400
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:20,925
I don't care about the money.

401
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,579
It's-it's not about that.

402
00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:24,581
It's about, you know,
doing something you love

403
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,279
that you're passionate about.

404
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:29,499
And being able to come home
to someone who loves you

405
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:30,892
for who you are.

406
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,850
And that ain't going anywhere.

407
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,162
Aw, you're my big weenie truck.

408
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,384
I don't know what that means,
but I'll take it.

409
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,562
[instrumental music]

410
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,615
[theme music]