1 00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:02,785 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,702 Tomorrow night, I'm showing up at Christina's house 3 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,095 with a dozen red roses 4 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,966 and a box of fine Belgian chocolates. 5 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,882 My lady don't care for no American chocolate. 6 00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,145 I can relate, I'm the same way with Taffy. 7 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,451 After I went to Atlantic City 8 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,888 I became a bit of a Taffy snob. 9 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,194 What are you talking about? 10 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:23,458 I've seen you eat plenty of crappy Taffy. 11 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,894 Yeah, but I don't enjoy it. 12 00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:29,203 Anyway, after that, I'm taking her out to dinner. 13 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,422 Five courses, each paired with its own special wine 14 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,859 hand-picked by the in-house sommelier. 15 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,819 That's French for "picker of the wine." 16 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,908 Wow, sounds like you're really going all out. 17 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,041 Hey, it's our first Valentine's Day together. 18 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,259 Can't just drive through a Taco Bell 19 00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:43,652 or take her bowling. 20 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,088 No, I get it. 21 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,742 I went through the same thing last year, man. 22 00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,744 Candy, jewelry, carriage ride. 23 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,267 Boy, I'm glad all that romantic crap 24 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,834 is behind me. 25 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,053 You're at least gonna take her out 26 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,402 for dinner though aren't you? 27 00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,881 She said she didn't wanna do anything. 28 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:57,709 No woman wants to cook on Valentine's Day. 29 00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,146 And every restaurant is booked solid.. 30 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,625 ...well, unless it's got a guy out front 31 00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:03,672 dressed as a hoagie, and spinnin' an arrow. 32 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,282 She said not to make a big deal out of it. 33 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,023 I'm just following orders. 34 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,764 Mm. That's what they said at Custer's last stand 35 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:11,506 right before they got their dumb white asses tomahawked. 36 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:15,684 No, Molly's not like that. 37 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,468 When she wants somethin', she tells me 38 00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:21,255 sometimes two or three times, until it really sinks in. 39 00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:24,258 Yeah, let me explain this to you in a way you might understand. 40 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,781 You know how when I go to get a milk shake 41 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:26,869 and I ask you if you want one, and you say no? 42 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,088 Uh-huh. 43 00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,480 Well, if I listen to you 44 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:30,612 and I don't come back with your own milk shake 45 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,004 you get all pouty and mad. 46 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,397 Oh, we've been together a long time 47 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:34,833 and I don't think I should have to ask. 48 00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:38,315 And that's why I always buy two milk shakes. 49 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,577 Otherwise, I'm gonna have to get another straw 50 00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,101 and share mine with you 51 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,146 and that's a race I cannot win. 52 00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,367 Egg whites with wheat toast. 53 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,629 Denver omelet with hash browns. 54 00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,326 Oh, hash browns. 55 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,807 And that's why Carl ordered the second plate. 56 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:54,636 Now, let me ask you 57 00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,072 how would you feel right now 58 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:59,075 if I didn't order you those hash browns? 59 00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,163 Uh-oh. 60 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,862 In 24 hours, you and I are gonna be screwed 61 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:05,951 in two completely different ways. 62 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,564 ♪ For the first time ♪ 63 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:12,828 ♪ In my life ♪ 64 00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:16,092 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 65 00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,147 [instrumental music] 66 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,194 [Joyce] 'Okay, then how about somethin' like this?' 67 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:34,241 I'm dressed as Venus, the Goddess of love 68 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,156 and you're suspended over me 69 00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,114 like a bare-assed little Cupid. 70 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,772 Look, I'll play along with this Valentine boudoir shot 71 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,730 but I'm not dropping trou. 72 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,821 What are you worried about? 73 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:52,868 It's just a sexy little keepsake for the two of us. 74 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,652 These things always end up on the Internet 75 00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,176 and I don't want my precious mother 76 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,787 to accidentally Google my schvantz. 77 00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,052 Come on, how would that ever happen? 78 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,793 Easy, that old lady's on the computer all day 79 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,708 googling schwantzs. 80 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,972 Eventually, my number will pop up. 81 00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:15,543 You know what, I'm rethinking the turkey franks. 82 00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:16,761 Hey, everybody. 83 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,633 - Hey, sweetie. - Hey. 84 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,982 Can I talk to you for a second? 85 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,853 Sure, by the way, you're not hanging 86 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,595 your nudie pics in the house. 87 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:25,727 Of course not. 88 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:26,858 We can still get the T-shirts 89 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,295 and coffee mugs. 90 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,254 What's up? 91 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:33,125 I just wanna make sure we're still on the same page 92 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,866 with Valentine's Day. 93 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,694 Now, you said to me, and I quote 94 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,392 "Don't make a big deal of it." 95 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,394 And I meant it. You went all out last year. 96 00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:41,569 Plus we're saving for a wedding. 97 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,005 Let's just go low-key. 98 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,876 Ah, good. I was just double-checking. 99 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:47,618 Seriously. No bouquets, no baubles. 100 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:48,793 You got it. 101 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,099 Just, a, you know, a simple 102 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,188 simple dinner out. 103 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,059 Right. 104 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,496 Out of the house? 105 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,847 Of course, I mean, I can't have my lady 106 00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,283 cooking on Valentine's Day. 107 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:03,286 No, you cannot. 108 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:06,158 And don't go too expensive, just somewhere where 109 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,727 you know, the spoon and the fork are two separate things. 110 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:11,033 Of course, I mean, what was I gonna do 111 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,382 take you to Taco Bell and bowling? 112 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,470 You wouldn't like that. 113 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,515 [chuckles] 114 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,473 Would you? 115 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,388 No, I would not. I'd kill you. 116 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,172 Yeah. 117 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,351 [instrumental music] 118 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,355 Last night, I'm trying to watch TV 119 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,487 and grandma walks in front of me like, half a dozen times 120 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,489 carrying my laundry back and forth. 121 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:33,708 And you know how slow she walks. 122 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,493 I missed half the game. 123 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,190 It's a testament to your character 124 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,714 that you're so patient with her. 125 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,455 What can I do? She's an old woman. 126 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:42,804 And she can't even shovel the driveway without me 127 00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,632 showin' her where she missed a spot. 128 00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,548 She's lucky to have you, Carl. 129 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,724 You're a good grandson. But why wouldn't you be? 130 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,814 You're a great cop and a wonderful friend. 131 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:59,777 - What's going on with you? - What do you mean? 132 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,258 Now, you've been shamelessly kissin' my ass all morning. 133 00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,999 I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em. 134 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,609 Uh-huh, then how come you never seen 'em this way 135 00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,655 in all these years I've known you? 136 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,134 Jealousy. 137 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,615 You're a handsome man and it can be intimidating. 138 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,705 Oh, no, something smells rotten in here 139 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:17,665 and it's not just your feet and pits. 140 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:18,927 Alright. 141 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,145 Molly wants to go out to dinner tonight 142 00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:21,451 and every nice place is booked. 143 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,757 See, I told you this would happen. 144 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,846 I know, you were right! You're always right! 145 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,500 You're the smartest guy I know. 146 00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:29,459 - Wise and generous.. - Oh, no. 147 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:30,591 No. I see where you're going with this. 148 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:31,679 You're trying to piggyback 149 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:32,767 on my plans with Christina. 150 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,159 Come on, you already got a table. 151 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:35,813 Just scooch in and add a couple of more chairs. 152 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,119 I ain't scooching in anywhere. 153 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,207 You better grab your bowling ball 154 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,688 and make a run for the border. 155 00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:42,037 Come on, Carl! 156 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:43,778 You're not horning in on my night. 157 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,475 Besides, it's too late to change the reservation 158 00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:46,607 even if I wanted to. 159 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,522 Not according to the maitre d'. 160 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:50,741 [gasps] You called the restaurant? 161 00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:53,135 No, I drove over there last night, and slipped him a 50 162 00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,006 wrapped in a clergy parking pass. 163 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,705 - You sneaky bastard! - You know how I am! 164 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,141 You should've seen this coming 165 00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:00,925 and made it a table for four in the first place. 166 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,840 You got no one to blame but yourself. 167 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,366 Get your straw out of my milk shake! 168 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,630 [instrumental music] 169 00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,546 Thanks for doing this, Harry. 170 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:13,938 Mike's been hinting around for one of these 171 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,810 universal remotes for a long time. 172 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,377 He's gonna love this gadget. 173 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,249 I can program it to control the TV, DVD player 174 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,120 lights and ceiling fan. 175 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:23,383 Geez, if it came with a set of boobs 176 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,081 Mike wouldn't need me. 177 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,430 If it came with a set of boobs 178 00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,954 I'd still be out in my car right now. 179 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,743 Hey, Moll. Hi, Mike. 180 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,222 That's not Mike. 181 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,007 Oh. 182 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:42,184 I'm sorry, I just saw a chubby hand holding a remote. 183 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,839 Victoria. 184 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:48,059 Uh...listen, I've gotta get ready. 185 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,278 Are you gonna be okay here? 186 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,019 Oh, absolutely. I'm on the case. 187 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,760 Soon Mike will have the world of entertainment 188 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,196 at his fingertips. 189 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,240 Thanks for helping me make this 190 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:56,981 a special Valentine's for him. 191 00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,896 Yeah, anything I can do to help blow wind 192 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,898 in the sails of love. 193 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,771 Sweet kid. 194 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:04,772 Are you talking to me? 195 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:05,860 No. 196 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,431 [Carl] 'Come on, man! You're gonna make us late.' 197 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:12,954 Well, all the flowers left are crap! 198 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,651 You should've thought about this a month ago 199 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,131 when she told you she didn't want you to do anything. 200 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,654 What about your flowers? 201 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:19,003 Why can't you just split 'em with me? 202 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,527 Man, I'm not giving my girlfriend 203 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,224 a half a dozen red roses, I'll look stupid. 204 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,573 Hey, I'll do it, too, then we'll both look stupid. 205 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:24,661 It'll be like a funny bit. 206 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:27,447 Two guys splitting a dozen roses! 207 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,927 That's not funny at all! 208 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,059 Alright, how about this? 209 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:33,453 I will pay you $20 cash money 210 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,889 for one red rose. 211 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,456 Oh, I see, one red rose so you come off 212 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,979 as simple and elegant, and I'm the jackass 213 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,285 handing my girlfriend 11 flowers! 214 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:41,591 Why are you making this harder than it is? 215 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:42,853 I mean, if she's a flower counter 216 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,900 maybe she's not the gal for you, anyway. 217 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,249 Fine! 218 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:48,642 After all the favors I've done for you 219 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:49,947 you can't help me out this one time? 220 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,035 One time? 221 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,559 Are you forgettin' last Tuesday 222 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,082 when you split your pants and then asked me 223 00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,431 to color your underwear with a black Sharpie? 224 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:56,998 I didn't ask you to do that. 225 00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,347 Well, somebody must have, 'cause I sure as hell didn't 226 00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,957 volunteer for crack detail! 227 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,266 Man, add some baby's breath to it. 228 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:06,268 - Pull that thing together. - I got this! 229 00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,576 [instrumental music] 230 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,666 That sunflower was a smart choice. 231 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:15,233 And after it dies, you can snack on the seeds. 232 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,105 You saw what I had to work with. 233 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,063 But I still think you should've added a Mylar balloon to it. 234 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,804 Nah, that would've looked stupid. 235 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,240 Besides, all they had left was "Bar Mitzvah Boy" 236 00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:24,939 and "Lordy, Lordy look who's forty." 237 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,680 We still have enough time to put on 238 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,203 our nice clothes and head over to the restaurant. 239 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,639 Hey, you didn't happen to bring an extra tie, did you? 240 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,293 What's wrong with the one you got on? 241 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,294 I don't think a guy's suppose to wear a black tie 242 00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:33,991 with a brown suit. 243 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:36,428 I don't think a guy's suppose to wear brown suit. 244 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,953 Officers, there's a man up on that ledge. 245 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,128 I think he's gonna jump. 246 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,260 Oh, perfect. 247 00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,653 Are you happy? 248 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:44,959 Apparently happier than him. 249 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,440 [instrumental music] 250 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,271 [instrumental music] 251 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:00,888 Good evening. 252 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,893 I'm officer Michael Biggs. Call me Mike. 253 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,199 - What's your name, pal? - What does it matter? 254 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:11,638 I'm just another faceless cipher that nobody cares about. 255 00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,640 Hey, I'm here, aren't I? 256 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:14,989 Now, why don't you come on inside 257 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,773 and we'll talk about whatever's buggin' you. 258 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,907 She broke my heart, tossed me aside like garbage. 259 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,692 Little lady trouble, huh? 260 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,346 Been there. 261 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:26,609 How's it goin' out here? 262 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:27,915 Everything's good. 263 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,308 We're talkin', not jumpin', right? 264 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:32,615 How come there's no news vans and helicopters? 265 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:33,877 This is Valentine's Day. 266 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,357 The city is filled with jilted jumpers. 267 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,664 You're lucky you got your own ledge. 268 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,144 You hear that? 269 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,537 You're not the only fella in town 270 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:44,192 with a little case of the "boo-hoos." 271 00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,498 Apparently there's some guy on the Michigan Avenue Bridge 272 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,152 dressed in a Batman suit. 273 00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,676 That must be gettin' a lot of airplay. 274 00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:51,460 It's on every channel. 275 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,375 Hey, let's face it, you can't compete 276 00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:54,681 with Batman on a bridge. 277 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,291 Now, why don't you come inside? 278 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,988 Yeah, and if you still feel like jumping 279 00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,381 do it on a slow news day. 280 00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:02,514 You know, dressed as an Angry Bird or Bozo. 281 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,691 Oh, my God. You guys suck at this. 282 00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:09,391 Sorry, it's been kind of a crazy day for us. 283 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,349 I'm standin' on a ledge. 284 00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,524 Absolutely. You win. 285 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,614 Worst day of anybody. 286 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:15,658 Better call the girls and tell 'em 287 00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:16,746 we're runnin' a little late. 288 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,443 Yeah. 289 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,794 By the way, did you see he's got 290 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,056 a dozen roses layin' on the bed? 291 00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,579 I did. They're beautiful. 292 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,233 Yeah, so whichever way this plays out 293 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,670 see I don't think he's gonna be needing those flowers. 294 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,413 [instrumental music] 295 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:37,245 Aright, well, get here as quick as you can. 296 00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,681 I am not sayin' that. 297 00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,728 Fine. 298 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:43,294 Carl, you're my dark chocolate tree. 299 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,905 Now, just get here. 300 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,125 Everything okay? 301 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,649 Yeah, some emergency at work. 302 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,302 So, they're runnin' a little late. 303 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,957 Carl said we should order the drinks and appetizers, so.. 304 00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,394 Hm. Done and done. 305 00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:58,048 It's a swanky joint, isn't it? 306 00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,660 Mike must have charmed somebody to get us this good table. 307 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,357 Andto get them to turn a two-top 308 00:11:02,444 --> 00:11:04,707 into a four-top at the last minute. 309 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,013 Last minute? No. 310 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,492 Mike said he and Carl set this up 311 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,799 over a month ago. 312 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,496 Yeah, they did. 313 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:14,543 [groans] 314 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,588 Mike piggybacked on your romantic night, didn't he? 315 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,981 Not at all. 316 00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:19,461 We are happy to share the reservation 317 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:20,941 with you guys. 318 00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,072 I should've known. 319 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,117 When I brought up dinner 320 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,422 he got that look he always gets 321 00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:25,554 when he's caught in a lie 322 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,121 or he's tryin' to sneak by me 323 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,297 with a plunger behind his back. 324 00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,603 It's no big deal. 325 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,605 The four of us can enjoy a meal together. 326 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,042 It's not like Carl and I are plannin' 327 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,130 on makin' out at the table. 328 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,654 No matter what he thinks. 329 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,962 You're very sweet, but I-I just don't feel right about.. 330 00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,833 You know what? I'm just-I'm just gonna go. 331 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,967 What? And leave me alone here on Valentine's Day? 332 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:50,710 At least have a drink before the guys get here. 333 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,146 Well.. 334 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,322 ...maybe one drink. 335 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:55,584 But when Mike does show up 336 00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,107 we're gonna let you guys have your night 337 00:11:57,194 --> 00:12:00,067 and I'll tear him a new one on the way home. 338 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:02,243 Sounds like a plan. Champagne? 339 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,027 Ooh, yeah. I yell better when I'm drunk. 340 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,596 [instrumental music] 341 00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,424 It's gonna take me a few more minutes to finish 342 00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:10,817 so if you need to leave for your date 343 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,296 I can let myself out. 344 00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:14,255 And don't worry, I won't do anything weird 345 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,953 like, sift through your laundry basket or lay in your bed. 346 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:24,047 No worries. I'm stayin' in tonight. 347 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,745 Ironic, huh? 348 00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,965 You're sexy and beautiful and I'm awkward and dumpy 349 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,620 yet we're both floating in the same lonely boat. 350 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,492 Mm-hm. 351 00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:36,407 Did you say you were almost done? 352 00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:38,583 Right, right. 353 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:41,935 It is gonna be weird 354 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,981 spendin' Valentine's Day by myself though. 355 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:47,157 I've actually never done it before. 356 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,290 Oh, it's a piece of cake.. 357 00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:52,510 ...and six or seven donuts and usually a pint of ice cream. 358 00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,687 That sounds cozy. 359 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,082 Just stayin' home and veggin' out. 360 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,475 Oh you gotta make it fun. 361 00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,216 Otherwise, you'll blow your brains out. 362 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,873 Why don't you grab some ice cream 363 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,614 and I'll find a romantic comedy. 364 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:10,964 Two spoons? 365 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,009 Better not. I'm still on my diet. 366 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:16,926 But would it be too weird if I watched you eat it? 367 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,624 A little weird. 368 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,801 But this whole conversation is weird. 369 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,283 Perhaps a little ambience 370 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,851 will increase my rather bleak odds. 371 00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:34,814 [soft music] 372 00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,165 You're really gonna make me go out on that ledge? 373 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,731 You know I can't stand heights. 374 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,387 Hey, I do all the drivin' and all the foot chases. 375 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,041 Least you can do is climb out on an icy ledge 376 00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,696 and bring that nut job inside. 377 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,437 I heard that. 378 00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,788 Just hug the building, you'll be fine. 379 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:03,103 Get lost, get lost. 380 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:08,586 Oh, God. Don't look down, don't look down. 381 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:13,374 Okay, I'm gonna sit. Carl, I'm gonna sit. 382 00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,506 [Carl] 'I got you man. You're tied to the radiator.' 383 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:16,768 What's the radiator tied to? 384 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,293 Watch it! 385 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,338 Just lashin' out. 386 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:24,341 I get it. 387 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,517 You're a decent guy. 388 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:27,997 If that woman doesn't appreciate you 389 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,738 then she doesn't deserve you. 390 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,219 Everything was going so well. 391 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,829 Then she stopped returning my calls 392 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,526 then she changed her number 393 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,920 then her boyfriend made her get a restraining order. 394 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,054 Well, gals are fickle. 395 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,188 And I know things seem really bleak right now 396 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,364 but the right woman can come along 397 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,496 when you least expect it. 398 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:49,845 That's what happened to me. 399 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,586 You got a girlfriend? 400 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,414 Why you acting so surprised? 401 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,068 I didn't mean anything by it. 402 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,721 Boy, you're sensitive. 403 00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:00,029 The girls said the entreecame. 404 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,597 Osso bucco with pumpkin ravioli. 405 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:03,772 Here I am eating cold French fries 406 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,382 of a room service tray. 407 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,080 You didn't charge that to my room, did you? 408 00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,256 Is that what you choose to focus on now? 409 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,911 Carl, take it easy. 410 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,174 It's his first Valentine's Day with a girlfriend. 411 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,262 He's got a girlfriend, too? 412 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,046 Exactly. 413 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,136 The two of us didn't give up, neither should you. 414 00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,095 Why don't you come inside and we'll talk. 415 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,271 I'm not comin' inside until she sees me on TV 416 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,403 and falls in love with me all over again. 417 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,101 I wouldn't use the word "falls." 418 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:32,888 Man, he ain't gonna jump. 419 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,237 Carl, what are you doin'? 420 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,283 I'm gonna get this fool off the ledge. 421 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,024 - Scooch over! - I'm not scoochin' anywhere. 422 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:39,634 I'm suction-cupped to this ledge. 423 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,158 Fine! Then I'll climb over you. 424 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:45,248 Whoa! Oh, God! I got you, I got you. 425 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,685 You go, I go! You go, I go! 426 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,122 You guys are freakin' me out. 427 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,515 Shut up and grab his belt, you nut job! 428 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,779 I got you, buddy. 429 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,740 [violin music] 430 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:08,706 [clapping] Oh, beautiful. Just gorgeous. 431 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,360 Next time I come back, I expect you to know 432 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:11,883 "The Devil Went Down To Georgia." 433 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:18,281 You have got to try this olive oil gelato. 434 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:22,198 Oh, my God, that's delicious. 435 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,460 I know! 436 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,461 You wouldn't think it would work 437 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:25,941 but it does. 438 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:27,769 Boy, Carl did a great job. 439 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,249 I mean, everything is perfect. 440 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:30,598 You're very lucky woman. 441 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,947 Yeah, well, so are you, girl. 442 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,209 Mike is a wonderful man. 443 00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,211 Yeah, I know. 444 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,085 And-and I mean, and I did tell him 445 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,695 you know, not to do anything special tonight. 446 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:44,438 But I didn't think he'd run with it. 447 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:47,310 I have to say, this is one of the nicest 448 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:49,095 Valentine's Days I've ever had. 449 00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,357 Me too. 450 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:51,575 [both laughing] 451 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,013 It's kind of a perfect evening. 452 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,405 I mean, yeah, I, you know 453 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,190 I wish the guys were here. 454 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,323 Sure. 455 00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:01,368 We need somebody to get the cars and the coats. 456 00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,283 [laughing] 457 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:04,632 Hey, ladies, sorry we're late 458 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,242 and we can't stay. 459 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:07,591 Why? What's going on? 460 00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:09,550 This man saved my life tonight. 461 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:12,292 Come on, Carl, the girls don't need to hear about my heroics. 462 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,207 Technically, I saved two lives tonight 463 00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:17,210 while valiantly battling my own fear of heights. 464 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,647 Wow. We got gelato. 465 00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:23,999 I'm glad you had a good time. 466 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,087 We need to head over to the station 467 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,350 and fill out some reports. 468 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,873 - These are for you. - Ah. 469 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,527 - Oh - They're beautiful. 470 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,529 And these are for you. 471 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,141 They're lovely. 472 00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:39,623 "Marry me or I'll kill myself." 473 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,932 Straight from the heart. 474 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,371 Everything you do is straight from the heart. 475 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,808 I hope they pin a medal on that big chest. 476 00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:52,027 - Goodnight, ladies. - Goodnight. 477 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:53,246 - See you at home. - Night. 478 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,812 I'd be happy to drive if you want me to. 479 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:57,467 Oh, no. I will man the chariot, brave warrior. 480 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:01,602 [instrumental music] 481 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,994 [sighs] 482 00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,652 - Do you wanna dance? - I thought you'd never ask. 483 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:18,184 [instrumental music on TV] 484 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:20,882 Even though I've seen this movie dozens of times 485 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,798 it never fails to melt this tough exterior. 486 00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:28,890 Thanks for keeping me company tonight. 487 00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,457 I really appreciate it. 488 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,415 No problemo. 489 00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,330 And by the way, if any of my friends 490 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:38,029 or perhaps my mother asked me what I did tonight 491 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,989 would you be offended if I told them I had a date? 492 00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:44,906 I wouldn't be offended in the least. 493 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,172 And you're more than welcome to do the same. 494 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:54,959 Thank you. 495 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,483 I probably won't. 496 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,103 "Breakfast At Tiffany's," I love that movie. 497 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,154 [instrumental music] 498 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,203 [theme music]