1 00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,786 [Mike] Previously on "Mike & Molly.." 2 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,614 What about just having a traditional church wedding? 3 00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,572 Oh, Mike's mom would love it if we got married in a church 4 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:10,706 so we won't be doing that. 5 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,534 [male #1] 'I just need to confirm a couple of things.' 6 00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:14,492 Your commitment to the church and that you're planning on 7 00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:16,016 raising your children Catholic. 8 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,669 Can't guarantee what path they're gonna take 9 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,758 or that they'll go to church every Sunday. 10 00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:22,326 How the hell did you lose the church? 11 00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,676 Did you take a whore bath in the holy water? 12 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:27,027 I know it's kind of cliche, but I was thinking 13 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,855 honeymooning in Paris could be really romantic. 14 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:32,249 Paris, France? 15 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,599 So what's the problem? You afraid of flying? 16 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,688 No, but when I'm traveling, I like knowing 17 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,299 that if there's trouble, I can jump out of a window 18 00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:40,040 without plummeting to my death. 19 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,867 Looks like we might need to let this out just a smidge. 20 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,609 No, you won't. I am just a few pounds from my target weight. 21 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:47,264 And when I set a goal for myself, I-I reach it. 22 00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,440 Two and a half miles. Pretty good. 23 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:50,702 Tomorrow we'll go for three. 24 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,574 Move up and down and lift with your core. 25 00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,271 Stop. Stop. 26 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:56,578 Son of a bitch! 27 00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:58,580 You don't have to squeeze into some wedding dress 28 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,408 to look perfect to me. 29 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:03,498 You're already the most beautiful woman in the world. 30 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:06,936 - I love you. - I love you too. 31 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,330 I promise to cherish every moment with you. 32 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:13,073 Molly Flynn, I love you, and every moment of my life 33 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,945 has meaning because I do. 34 00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,903 And by the power vested in me 35 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,689 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 36 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,214 You may kiss the bride. 37 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:26,434 [cheering and applauding] 38 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:28,131 [instrumental music] 39 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:41,101 [grunts] For the love of God. 40 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,845 Mike! A little help in here! 41 00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,369 Come on. 42 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,459 Damn it. 43 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:57,769 What's in here? 44 00:01:57,856 --> 00:02:00,468 Ah! Son of a bitch is smuggling cheese 45 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:03,123 and settin' me up to take the fall. 46 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,038 [Mike singing gibberish] 47 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,870 Smuggling perishables is a crime 48 00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,959 and you're a police officer, and you should know that. 49 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,223 The real crime is you can't get this kind of fromage 50 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,311 back in the States. 51 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,703 This is the best I've ever tasted 52 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:22,316 and I have been to Cheddar Fest in Wisconsin. 53 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,448 Yeah, I know, you brought me back a T-shirt that said 54 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:25,971 What a friend we have in cheeses. 55 00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,408 I'm puttin' them in your bag. 56 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,236 Fine, just be careful of the ham. 57 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,586 I knew I smelled ham. 58 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,371 Come on, get up and help me finish packing. 59 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:38,201 Oh, you Americans, always hustling and bustling. 60 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,508 You need to learn to carpe a little more diem. 61 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,032 Yeah, you need to get your derriere out of that chair 62 00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,599 and get your traveling duds on. 63 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,514 And shave off that hideous mustache. 64 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:49,691 What? You want me to get rid of my French tickler? 65 00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,083 Oui. 66 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,391 But this is who I am now. 67 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,524 [French accent] A bon vivant world traveler. 68 00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,439 Paris Mike. 69 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,268 Fine, but if I have to keep kissing that cookie duster 70 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,662 I'm going full on French, legs and armpits. 71 00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:05,837 Sacre bleu. 72 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,144 [laughs] 73 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,580 Alright, fine, it's gone 74 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,626 but, uh, perhaps one last tickle 75 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:15,020 before we say au revoir to our little fuzzy friend? 76 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:17,153 What are you talking about, like a quick kiss goodbye 77 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,111 or skirt over the head kind of thing? 78 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,985 [French accent] Let us start with a kiss and see where the winds 79 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,466 of love blow us. 80 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,642 Okay, you got six minutes, Paris Mike. 81 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,470 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 82 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,341 Let's do it on top of the suitcase. 83 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:32,821 That'll get that bastard shut. 84 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:35,519 But, of course, mon cheri. 85 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:40,872 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 86 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:44,093 ♪ I see love ♪♪ 87 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,757 [instrumental music] 88 00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,193 Thank you. 89 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:10,598 Oh, I'm sorry. 90 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,600 Sorry. 91 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,123 Sorry. 92 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,429 Sorry! 93 00:04:18,736 --> 00:04:21,565 Mike, will you give me a hand with the bags? 94 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:22,958 It's first class. 95 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,742 I dropped mine off with the concierge. 96 00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:27,484 Yeah, and he gave them to me, so he could fly the plane. 97 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:31,227 Oh. My bad. 98 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,620 He didn't have his hat on. 99 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,275 - Just help me. - Absolutely. 100 00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:38,278 You enjoy the complimentary cham-pan-ya 101 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:41,281 and I will handle le loo-gaj. 102 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,413 Un. 103 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:46,416 Deux. 104 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,376 Trois. 105 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,381 Four. 106 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,774 [chuckles] 107 00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:58,298 Voila. 108 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:01,997 Now we can sit back and enjoy the luxuries 109 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,433 of traveling first class. 110 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,522 Damn right. I used up all of my frequent 111 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,002 flyer miles on this upgrade. 112 00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,917 I ain't going to miss a fresh baked cookie 113 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:13,008 hot towel or warm nut. 114 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:16,751 Yeah, we'll sleep in shifts, so nothin' gets past us. 115 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:19,623 That kind of can-do thinkin' is why I married you. 116 00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,323 - By the way, wife. - Mmm. 117 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,413 I really want to thank you for a beautiful honeymoon. 118 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,371 Right back at ya, husband. 119 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,331 But we got to make promise that once the wheels 120 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,594 touch down in Chicago, we are back on our diet. 121 00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,900 No question. Maybe in a couple of months 122 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:39,948 we'll fit in our wedding rings again. 123 00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,558 I can't believe in eight short hours 124 00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:45,388 we'll be home and back to our lives. 125 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,956 Oh, crap, that reminds me, I forgot to buy Carl a gift. 126 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,653 Does he like cheese? 127 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,311 This blanket says "France." Stuff that in your purse. 128 00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,056 Just out of curiosity, is this the longest you two guys 129 00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,449 have ever been apart? 130 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,799 Yeah, he gets a little lost without me. 131 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,367 It's understandable. I am kind of his hero. 132 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,544 Sure. 133 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,373 [instrumental music] 134 00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,902 Man, that was some impressive police work back there. 135 00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:22,599 The way you apprehended that perp 136 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,427 it could've gotten real ugly. 137 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:27,474 Well, the boy was sorry, and he did give the Silly Putty 138 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,650 back to the cashier. 139 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,129 You showed a lot of restraint. 140 00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:32,653 11-year-old punk calls me a butthole 141 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,438 you're gonna see it on the 6 o'clock news. 142 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,788 - Just doing my job. - You're too modest. 143 00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,182 You are, without a doubt, thefinest police officer 144 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,618 I've ever had the pleasure of working with. 145 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,490 Well, I'm sure your partner's no slouch. 146 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:46,710 He ain't nothing buta slouch. 147 00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:49,017 Gone for two weeks, and not one word. 148 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,280 I even put a prepaid phone card inside a Hershey bar 149 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,804 so I know he found it. 150 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,720 You got to cut him a little slack. It is his honeymoon. 151 00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,722 Which he wouldn't be on if it wasn't for me. 152 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,116 I was the Cupid that made that relationship happen. 153 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,987 And it took about a dozen arrows. 154 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:06,600 Like taking down Moby-Dick with thumbtacks. 155 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:09,211 The guy in that Saturn's driving a little erratically. 156 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:12,519 I'm gonna run his plates. 157 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,825 Listen to you! You're gonna run his plates. 158 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,349 [laughs] You are the real deal, officer. 159 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,569 Damn fine cop. 160 00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,441 You'd call me from your honeymoon, wouldn't you? 161 00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,977 [whispers] Excuse me. Excuse me. 162 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,587 Could I have some more warm nuts? 163 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:38,806 Absolutely. 164 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,112 And, uh, I-I noticed that the guy 165 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,027 across the aisle slept through his cookie. 166 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:46,204 Is that, is that up for grabs? 167 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,207 I'll see what I can do. 168 00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,601 Believe it or not, I've never flown first class before 169 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:55,213 but between you and me, I am hooked. 170 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,476 I'll be back with zee warm nuts. 171 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,042 And-and the cookie. 172 00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,783 [whispers] Don't forget that cookie. 173 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,882 [laughs] 174 00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,885 God, I love first class! 175 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:18,106 It's like a fancy restaurant where you can sleep. 176 00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:21,675 Well, somebody looks mighty cute in his complimentary jammies. 177 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:25,287 Can you believe it? One size really does fit all. 178 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:29,204 [groans] Boy, I hate leaving France. 179 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,293 Oh, me too. 180 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:34,992 Quaint little shops, the architecture, the museums.. 181 00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:37,908 - And how about the bidet? - Right? 182 00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,868 I mean, the best invention ever. It's so much more civilized. 183 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:45,307 I don't know how I'm ever gonna go back to using toilet paper. 184 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,483 Well, just for the record, you are. 185 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,180 Oh, yeah, yeah. 186 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:50,617 I'm just saying, it's the difference 187 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,794 between a babbling brook and a pinecone. 188 00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,578 True. 189 00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,145 I mean, there's a reason you soak the plates 190 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,189 before you wipe 'em. 191 00:08:58,276 --> 00:09:00,540 Alright. 192 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:01,976 Good talk. 193 00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:03,325 [sighs] 194 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:10,941 Wow, the honeymoon is really over. It was like a dream. 195 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,900 Now it's back to the old grind. 196 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,772 Well, I'm not looking forward to going back either. 197 00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:20,081 Mom and Victoria without adult supervision for two weeks? 198 00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:22,518 I'm guessing the whole house is empty wine bottles 199 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:26,000 floating in bong water. 200 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,784 And cats. 201 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,612 I don't know why, but I just keep picturing 202 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,701 a ton of stray cats. 203 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,008 [instrumental music] 204 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:42,190 Victoria, sweetie, breakfast is ready. 205 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:43,626 [Victoria] Coming, mommy! 206 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,454 'Oh! Don't you look pretty!' 207 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:48,588 Not too slutty for work, is it? 208 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,112 Molly says it makes my breasts look like two pumpkins 209 00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:53,897 rolling off a porch. 210 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,856 She says the same thing about my thong underwear 211 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:59,990 every time I go out to pick up the newspaper. 212 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:03,211 - Where are the coffee cups? - One shelf up. 213 00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:06,083 I moved the wine glasses down to eye level. 214 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,216 Molly tries to put them out of my reach. 215 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:12,307 [scoffs] She forgot I took that rock climbing class. 216 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,265 - Morning, ladies. - Morning! 217 00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,006 Boy, I just had the best shower. 218 00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,660 Without Mike in the house, you don't have to worry 219 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:21,925 about getting scalded from his 7:00 a.m. double flush. 220 00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:23,840 I just like being able to walk in the bathroom 221 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,668 without a gas mask and a canary. 222 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,368 And would you look at this! Leftover cheesecake. 223 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:35,069 Has anyone living in this house ever uttered those words? 224 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,201 God, how many times have I come down here 225 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:40,117 to find Mike in the dark standing at the fridge 226 00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:43,294 like a raccoon caught digging in the trash can? 227 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:46,036 Up on his hind legs, chicken bone in his mouth 228 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:49,736 with those two little red eyes glaring at you. 229 00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,477 I mean, I love them both, but it's kind of been 230 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:54,218 a honeymoon for all of us. 231 00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,656 Hey, why don't we celebrate our last day of freedom 232 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:59,006 with a nice pitcher of mimosas? 233 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,399 Why not! I'm guessing it's Sunday somewhere. 234 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,969 - Now, that's convenient. - Right? 235 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:08,015 Thank you! 236 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,408 [instrumental music] 237 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:11,932 Mmm. 238 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,196 Oh. 239 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:21,071 Sweetie, are you still awake? 240 00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,204 You need to get some sleep. 241 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,380 Look at that map. 242 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,208 That's our plane. 243 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:31,647 In four inches, we'll be back in Chicago. 244 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,780 You know, we're gonna take other trips. 245 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:37,740 Once, you know, we pay off this one, and...and buy a house 246 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,699 and pay off my student loans.. 247 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:42,963 - Your what? - Nothing. 248 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,139 I don't know why we have to go back. 249 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,315 I mean, what's stopping us from hopping on another plane 250 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:48,925 and going anywhere we want. 251 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,666 Well, I'm out of frequent flyer miles 252 00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,494 and you can't buy plane ticketswith cheese. 253 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,890 We don't need money. You're a teacher, I'm a cop. 254 00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,282 We can do that anywhere. 255 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,502 We can barely do it in Chicago. 256 00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:02,591 Just go to sleep. 257 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,462 I've been sleeping my whole life. 258 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,769 Paris was like a splash of cold water. 259 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:10,033 Oh, God, is this about that bidet again? 260 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,992 Fine. We can get one, but good luck 261 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,385 getting my mom off that thing. 262 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,171 This isn't about stuff, it's about living our lives 263 00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:19,173 for the moment, and following our hearts. 264 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,522 What has gotten into you? 265 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,176 I had to practically drag you to Paris 266 00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:25,266 and now you want to roam the Earth like Kung Fu. 267 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,268 I'm just saying, there's got to be more to life 268 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:30,924 than going to work and coming home and watching TV. 269 00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,797 So, it sounds like you're finally open 270 00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,277 for some new experiences. 271 00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,540 I am. 272 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:41,412 You know, we could take that watercolor class or.. 273 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,980 Ooh! Or we could learn to salsa dance 274 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,026 or we could get season tickets at the opera. 275 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,642 You really ought to get some sleep. 276 00:12:57,907 --> 00:13:00,040 Mission accomplished. 277 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:07,264 [instrumental music] 278 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:10,050 Well, Mike will be home tomorrow, so I'm guessing 279 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:13,270 you'll stop moping around like Eeyore without his Pooh. 280 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,926 I'm not moping, I'm hurt. 281 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:20,321 I called him every day when I was at space camp. 282 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,671 I'm sure there's a very good reason he hasn't called you. 283 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,542 You know what? I'm moving on. 284 00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,327 At least now I'm riding with genuine police 285 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,503 and not having to pull over into a park, so Mike can take a nap 286 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,200 on the picnic table. 287 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,290 Let's roll. 288 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,249 See that? Fly zipped up and not a drop 289 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:37,381 of mustard on his badge. 290 00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:40,384 And clean hands, and no toilet paper stuck to his shoe. 291 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,345 I'm telling you, he's a class act. 292 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:48,479 Actually waited to get out of the car before he cut a fart. 293 00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,786 Yeah, quite a change from Mike rolling up all the windows 294 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,441 and shouting, "Live in it, man, live in it." 295 00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:58,141 [all laughing] 296 00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:02,537 So, so then the guy says, "Oh, it must be your feet then." 297 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:05,235 [all laughing] 298 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:08,978 - Oh, you're terrible. - I'm filthy, I'm an animal. 299 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,545 [all laughing] 300 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,548 Another round of hooch, ladies? 301 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:17,508 I don't know. That, that last mimosa tasted a little weird. 302 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,815 We ran out of OJ and champagne 303 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:23,297 so I substituted Tang and tequila. 304 00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:25,299 [laughing] 305 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:28,084 I call it a Mexican on the moon. 306 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,956 [both laughing] 307 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:35,309 Hey, we're not out of champagne. 308 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,528 I bought Mike and Molly a real nice bottle 309 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,095 for a wedding present. 310 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:42,490 We can't. Molly made us promise not to unwrap anything 311 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,100 while she was gone. 312 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:47,190 Well, until she opens that gift, it still belongs to you. 313 00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:48,888 You sure about this? 314 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:52,761 As sure as a guy drunk on Tang and tequila can be. 315 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,764 [laughs] That's all I need to hear. 316 00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:59,594 Wait, so, so you're saying the Kama Sutra love kit 317 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,683 is technically still ours? 318 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,380 Can you believe they left that here? 319 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,861 I told 'em they'd want that on their honeymoon 320 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,124 but in one ear and out the other. 321 00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,518 I think that's one of the positions. 322 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,520 [all laughing] 323 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,960 [instrumental music] 324 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:21,137 "Bucket list number 83." 325 00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,618 "Invent ice cream filled M&M's." 326 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:26,795 Number 84.. 327 00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:29,972 Invent pocket refrigerator. 328 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,977 Honey, have you been awake all night? 329 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,154 Yes, I have. I'm writing my bucket list. 330 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,461 - May I? - You may. 331 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:46,336 "Eat gelato in a Roman piazza. 332 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:50,558 "Eat Peking duck near the Great Wall. 333 00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:54,214 Go to Germany and eat wienerschnitzel." 334 00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,435 You know, you can knock most of these out 335 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,351 at the mall food court. 336 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:04,050 Oh, hey, hey, you should climb Mount Everest 337 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,922 because I hear they've got snow cones up there. 338 00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:21,241 Having someone mock my bucket list is not on my bucket list. 339 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,634 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had 11 cups of coffee 340 00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:25,419 and the only thing holding it in is my seat belt. 341 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:26,942 [chuckles] 342 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:33,340 He just came from France and he can't spell menaga a trois. 343 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:40,173 Woof. First class or coach, they all smell like crap. 344 00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,179 [rumbling] 345 00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:48,485 Whoa, whoa. 346 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,618 [male announcer] 'Ladies and gentlemen, we seem to have hit a bit of rough air' 347 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:54,100 'so please remain seated with your seat belt fastened.' 348 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,406 I can't die alone in the can. 349 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:59,670 No belt, there's no belt. I want to go home. 350 00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:02,195 No more travel, no more bucket list. 351 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,023 Molly! 352 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,809 'Molly!' 353 00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,643 [instrumental music] 354 00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:20,996 You sure you don't want to go grab a beer 355 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:21,997 and hang out a little bit? 356 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,999 I'm ready to call it a day. 357 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,435 It's been a real pleasure riding with you, Carl. 358 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,220 The pleasure was all mine, sir. 359 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,918 You are truly one of the finest police officers I've ever known. 360 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,615 Appreciate you saying that. 361 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:34,314 - Your partner's a lucky man. - Yeah, tell him that. 362 00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:36,272 Oh, by the way, I got you a little something. 363 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,276 - You bought me a gift? - Nothing extravagant. 364 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:41,712 I just noticed, when we were walking the beat 365 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,366 that you over-pronate on your right foot. 366 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,457 So you got me an insert? 367 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,416 Yeah, that'll even out your gait 368 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,808 maybe relieve some of that lower back pain 369 00:17:50,895 --> 00:17:52,723 that's always troubling you. 370 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,421 Carl, I don't know what to say. 371 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,031 I hope that Mike appreciates working alongside you 372 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,424 as much as I did. 373 00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,208 Nah, he doesn't appreciate me at all. 374 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,080 Not a word in two weeks, and tomorrow he's just going 375 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,082 to waltz back into my life like nothing's wrong. 376 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:06,215 Well, I'm just glad you and I had this time together. 377 00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:07,912 Thank you. 378 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:17,835 Alright. You be careful out there. 379 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,275 If you'd like to stay in touch, I'm on Facebook. 380 00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:24,538 My profile pic is Jude Law. 381 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:31,197 [instrumental music] 382 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,905 Home sweet home, huh? 383 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,603 It's actually not as bad as I thought it would be. 384 00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,779 [mewing] 385 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,481 You called it. 386 00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:56,744 You know, it's funny, I almost said squirrels. 387 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,532 [instrumental music] 388 00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:09,191 You know, Paris was okay, but they don't have anything 389 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,889 we can't get right here in Chicago, Illinois. 390 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:15,066 - Hmm, I've heard that. - Except for the cheese. 391 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,287 That's a war with France we lose. 392 00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:21,377 Thanks for that cool blanket again, man. Very thoughtful. 393 00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,511 I'm gonna keep it in the plastic, so it stays nice. 394 00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:26,513 Just a little token to show how much I missed you 395 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,862 and that I was thinking about you. 396 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,429 Well, it was a lovely surprise 397 00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:32,127 but you know I did not expect anything. 398 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,651 That's why I did it. 399 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,176 So how were your two weeks with your temporary partner? 400 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,266 - You guys get along? - Why? What did you hear? 401 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:45,009 - Nothing. - Oh, yeah, he was alright. 402 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:48,274 Little clingy.. 403 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,841 ...but I think he benefited from being around real police. 404 00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:53,714 Ah, lucky for him, he had a guy like you to show him the ropes. 405 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:55,759 Well, what good is wisdom unless you can share it with others? 406 00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,457 I'm glad it worked out. 407 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,067 And I'm glad you had a nice honeymoon. 408 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:02,636 - Don't you ever leave me again. - I won't. 409 00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,551 I swear to God I won't. 410 00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:12,036 [theme music]