1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,744
Okay, keep going,
keep going, keep going.

2
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,485
Oh... all right.

3
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:09,096
Swivel it, swivel it.

4
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,836
MIKE: I'm wedged between
a washing machine

5
00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,012
and a toboggan.

6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:12,882
Swiveling's
not an option.

7
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:13,796
Then, well, just...

8
00:00:13,883 --> 00:00:16,190
Then rotate it.

9
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,800
Rotate is the
same as swivel!

10
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:19,889
[sighs]

11
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,151
Can you just push it.

12
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:21,804
Wait, no!
Swivel it, swivel it!

13
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,066
[mutters]

14
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:26,896
Oh, did I do that?

15
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:30,204
Let's just take a little break.

16
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:33,076
I don't see why we have
to move back upstairs.

17
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,991
Mike, we already
discussed this.

18
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,775
Discussed? You said,
"Help me with this mattress."

19
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,168
I thought we were
just flipping it

20
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,822
to give you my divot
for a while.

21
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,912
Really?
Drinking in the morning?

22
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:46,829
We're moving.
You drink beer when you move.

23
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,178
All right, split it with me.

24
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,272
Too late.All right.

25
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,665
[laughs]

26
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,797
Come on, we tried living
in the basement.

27
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,756
It didn't work out.For who?

28
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,062
I love it down there.

29
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,846
No, you don't.

30
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,761
It's dark and damp,

31
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:08,024
and it's like sleeping
in a cave.

32
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,808
Hey, it works for bears.
If I didn't have a job,

33
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,984
you wouldn't see me till spring.

34
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,640
Upstairs is gonna be
light and airy.

35
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,207
You're gonna feel
energized and creative.

36
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,904
I don't want to feel
any of those things.

37
00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:21,472
I just want to have
reasonably effective sex

38
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,866
with my wife and go to sleep.

39
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,869
Well, imagine that and a window.

40
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:27,870
Am I allowed to ask
how the book's coming?

41
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:30,133
Sure, of course.

42
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:30,960
But I shouldn't, right?

43
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:32,918
I wouldn't.

44
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:35,007
I mean, how is this thing
getting heavier?

45
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,053
[groans]Are you lifting at all?

46
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,620
I'm trying, but
my ass is about

47
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,622
to take out half
your family photos.

48
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,841
Well, who cares?
We'll make new memories.

49
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,147
Let's lift on three.

50
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:45,148
One, two...

51
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,193
[yells]

52
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,415
Did I do that?

53
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:54,462
I'm gonna need another beer.

54
00:01:57,247 --> 00:02:00,032
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪

55
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,035
♪ La,
la-ba-dee-da ♪

56
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,474
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

57
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:07,866
♪ I see love ♪

58
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,173
♪ I see love♪

59
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,044
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

60
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,046
♪ I see love ♪

61
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,876
♪ I see love.♪

62
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,493
All right, computer.

63
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,713
Let's me and you
write a bestseller.

64
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,715
Oh, that's...

65
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,804
Oh, God!

66
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,678
That seems a little high there.

67
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:37,679
Let's just...

68
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:40,638
Ah, there we go.

69
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,684
Ooh, that's...

70
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,253
No, no... All right, let's...

71
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,298
That's better.

72
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,430
Yeah.

73
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:52,389
Oof! Gee...

74
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:53,477
Okay.

75
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:55,958
No, let's see.

76
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,699
You know what...

77
00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,744
All right, you were great.

78
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:05,097
Hey, look at this.

79
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,882
Good for me.

80
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:08,623
Working on my core.

81
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:09,667
Okay. Ooh!

82
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,197
[grunts]

83
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,546
All right, all right.

84
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,852
All right. Aah!

85
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,205
All right, all right, all right.

86
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:28,730
Just got to brace myself.

87
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,862
Got to brace.

88
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,996
Got to brace my... self.

89
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,653
Oh, for God sakes.

90
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:41,351
Stupid thing. Out of here...

91
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,580
Hey.

92
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,059
Yeah, hey!

93
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,583
Yeah.

94
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:56,714
Welcome back to
the neighborhood.

95
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,455
Thanks.I got to tell you.

96
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,152
I-I kind of miss
having to listen

97
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,066
to your husband take
a leak every night

98
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:02,851
at 2:00 in the morning.

99
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:03,982
Yeah.

100
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:06,158
4:00 in the morning, 6:00.

101
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,725
Yeah, I know, I know.
No, we're trying to...

102
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,640
He's gonna get it checked out.

103
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,209
Am I allowed to ask
how the book is coming?

104
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,645
Yeah, of course.Should I?

105
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,821
I wouldn't.

106
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:19,868
What the hell is O'Donnell
doing down there?

107
00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:23,437
What?

108
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:24,916
Looks like he's throwing out

109
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,223
a whole closetful
of his wife's dresses.

110
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,703
MOLLY: Huh.

111
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,226
It's weird,
I-I can't even remember

112
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:30,966
the last time I saw his wife.

113
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,837
Or heard her.

114
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,970
She was always screaming
at him about something.

115
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:38,495
Yeah, you're right, it has
been real quiet over there.

116
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,236
Well, you're the writer.

117
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,673
Why does a man throw out
his wife's clothes?

118
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,022
Oh, I don't know,
I've only been writing

119
00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,721
a couple of weeks, um...

120
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:50,072
Maybe she doesn't
want them anymore.

121
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:53,118
Maybe she's not around
to wear them anymore.

122
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,949
Maybe she's not alive

123
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,995
to wear them anymore.

124
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,002
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck!

125
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,752
Harry, I thought
you were lactose intolerant.

126
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,669
Like you wouldn't believe.

127
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,585
Yeah, well, that onion
dip is loaded with dairy.

128
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,326
Really?

129
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,371
Well, I came here to gamble.

130
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,462
How would you guys feel
about raising the stakes?

131
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,159
What's wrong
with quarter, nickel, dime?

132
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,379
Nothing, if we're trying
to cycle up our periods.

133
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,774
Let's keep the stakes low.

134
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,516
I sent all my money to a
starving family in Africa.

135
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:43,995
My own.

136
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,346
Just keep the stakes
where they are.

137
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,912
I just want to sit and relax.

138
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:49,784
I've been running up
and down stairs all day.

139
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,699
Oh, your pee-pee problem again?

140
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,875
You got to get that looked at.

141
00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:56,530
No, I was moving.

142
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,314
Molly thinks putting
our bedroom upstairs

143
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,011
is better for her writing.

144
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,186
Oh, how's that coming along?

145
00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:02,274
I don't know, we kind of have

146
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,277
a "don't ask, don't ask" policy.

147
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,323
Are we playing cards,
ladies, or talking?

148
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:08,846
Put up your big blind, Harry.

149
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,544
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...

150
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:10,979
Deal me out!

151
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,207
[gasps] Oh, God!

152
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,253
What'd I miss?

153
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,473
He's still
in the back room.

154
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,257
Oh, I've been in
enough back rooms

155
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,433
to know nothing good
ever happens there.

156
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,653
Oh, oh, oh, ooh!
He's on the move.

157
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:33,915
He's dragging a big box
into the dining room.

158
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:36,700
That son of a bitch.What?

159
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,180
How does he have
a dining room?

160
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,487
I thought we had
the same floor plan.

161
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,706
Okay, he's left the box,
now he's headed...

162
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,186
Ooh, he's heading
toward the bedroom.

163
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:47,102
He better not have
a walk-in closet.

164
00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,756
Okay, okay, okay.

165
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:49,713
Now he's taking off
his pants.

166
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,323
Boxers?Briefs.

167
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,935
Ooh, this guy is throwing up
red flags everywhere.

168
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:56,633
Okay, he's walking
towards the bed.

169
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,114
He's walking
towards the bed, and...

170
00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,508
Yeah, he's taking a nap.

171
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,555
Sweet dreams,
you sick bastard.

172
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,688
You know what?

173
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:09,690
Let's go over what
we know so far, okay?

174
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:10,908
Subject was seen throwing
out an armful of dresses

175
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,954
still on the hangers.

176
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,216
Ugly dresses.

177
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,609
I agree, but that's conjecture.

178
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,741
We're gonna build
this case on facts.

179
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,395
Yeah.

180
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,615
He was moving around
an awful lot of boxes.

181
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:22,790
Ooh, boxes.

182
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:23,791
And still no sign of the wife.

183
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:27,316
"Wife, question mark."

184
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,360
Devil's advocate.Okay.

185
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,710
What if she left him?

186
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,494
Way ahead of you.

187
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,191
Then why wouldn't she bring
her ugly dresses, huh?

188
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:34,889
And what about the dog?
Oh! What about the dog?

189
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,847
God, she wouldn't
have left that.

190
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,675
But how do we know it's her dog?

191
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,198
'Cause it's a little,
yappy thing wearing a sweater.

192
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,940
What kind of man
has a dog like that?

193
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:44,246
A gay man.

194
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:44,986
[slow gasp]

195
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:48,468
Interesting.

196
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:51,471
"Gay, question mark."

197
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,951
Ooh, quiet neighbor realizes
late in life

198
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,997
that he enjoys
the company of another man.

199
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,302
[gasps]
She finds out his little secret.

200
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,217
Maybe she caught...
[gasps]

201
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,481
Maybe she caught him wearing
one of her ugly dresses!

202
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:03,918
She's furious.

203
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:04,919
There's a fight.

204
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,442
Slap turns into a shove.

205
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:07,965
That turns
into a fall down the stairs.

206
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,445
He panics.
He has to get rid of the body.

207
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,012
He's got to chop her up
into little bits

208
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,361
and put her
into little nondescript boxes!

209
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:14,668
God, that butcher thinks

210
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,931
he's gonna get away with it.

211
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,542
Or maybe he's just moving.

212
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:22,414
Is "moving" on the board?
Is "moving" on the board?

213
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,113
God! Let's stick to the facts!

214
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,903
I really don't like the idea
of you going over there.

215
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,079
I'm just sniffing around
while he's sleeping.

216
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,299
What exactly
are you looking for?

217
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:38,996
I don't know.

218
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:41,303
Ooh, a dead woman would
really help our case.

219
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:44,262
Be careful, baby.

220
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:47,657
All right, don't get
soft on me, Joyce, okay?

221
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:50,312
I need you to watch my 6:00.
I'm going in hot!

222
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,666
[whistling]

223
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,108
[yawning]

224
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,079
Go look in the window.

225
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:27,610
Hello?
Hi...

226
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,613
Hi. Hey!

227
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,397
I... I'll take those.

228
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,008
Don't you live next door?I do.

229
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:37,533
And I'm here picking up
Mr. O'Donnell's mail

230
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,535
while he's out of town.

231
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,189
Really? 'Cause I saw him
at the gym this morning.

232
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,887
Well... I mean, if you're

233
00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:46,542
going on vacation,
you got to get into shape

234
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,196
to look good
in that swimsuit, right?

235
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,980
Yeah, you do.

236
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,374
Well.

237
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,723
Okay, keep it up!

238
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,769
[clicks tongue]

239
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,685
Why the postal service
is going in the crapper.

240
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,776
Who we spying on?

241
00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:05,126
I'm watching your sister
swipe the neighbor's mail.

242
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,737
Isn't it bad enough
we steal his Wi-Fi?

243
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,130
Shut... [shushes]

244
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:12,220
Junk, junk.

245
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,352
Ooh-hoo-hoo.

246
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:16,659
Air Mexicano.

247
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,618
I think somebody's
going to Mexico.

248
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:21,055
Oh, or getting
a pre-approved credit card.

249
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,320
JOYCE:
Oh, no! O'Donnell's awake.

250
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:26,495
We got to warn her.

251
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:29,106
I got this.
Ca-caw, ca-caw!

252
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:34,938
Molly, I said,
"Ca-caw, ca-caw!"

253
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,382
Ms. Flynn?Ooh, hey, neighbor.

254
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,428
Got your mail by mistake.

255
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,345
Okay, everybody checked.

256
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,738
Here comes the turn.

257
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,870
Two of clubs, a brick.

258
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,045
Helps nobody.

259
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,568
Action's on you, Dairy Queen.

260
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,095
What's wild again?

261
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,226
Nothing.

262
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,013
Not even threes?

263
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,231
No.

264
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,190
I fold.

265
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:13,194
So, Mike, what's it like
being married to a writer?

266
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,544
I couldn't tell you. She really
hasn't written anything yet.

267
00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:17,589
Besides a little porn.

268
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,114
Whatever.

269
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,464
She's been at it
for three weeks.

270
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,292
It takes me a month
to read a book.

271
00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,250
I should give her at least
that long for to write one.

272
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,210
Well, you're
a better man than me.

273
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,777
Nobody questions that.

274
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,824
My point is

275
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,347
as long as she's doing
this writing nonsense,

276
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:37,784
you're on your own
to pay the bills.

277
00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,089
You know, at some point,
you're gonna have

278
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,483
to give Molly a deadline,
you know?

279
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:42,919
If she doesn't make any money
at being a writer,

280
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,312
then she's got
to go get a real job.

281
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:47,794
I guess a deadline
couldn't hurt.

282
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:48,751
Really?

283
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,057
Are you that stupid?

284
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,146
What?

285
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,844
You're gonna take advice
from a guy who moved out

286
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,238
of his grandma's house
at 37 years old?

287
00:11:57,325 --> 00:12:00,676
Hey, hey, hey,
that woman's got a spa tub.

288
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,156
That's not something
you just walk away from.

289
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,332
Don't listen to any
of these clowns.

290
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,377
They don't know anything
about marriage.

291
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,249
When's the last time any of you
even had a date with a woman?

292
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:11,034
I know your excuse.

293
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:15,169
Hey, man, I'm just trying
to give this man some advice.

294
00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:16,692
You want advice?
Keep your mouth shut,

295
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,650
your head down
and thank God every day

296
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,741
that a woman will lay
beside you in bed.

297
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:27,355
I do like having a
woman lie beside me.

298
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:28,660
I'm gonna get another drink.

299
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,359
Anybody need anything?

300
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,404
Weren't you wearing
jeans before?

301
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:38,322
Are those my sweatpants?

302
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,977
I don't think so.

303
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,070
[gasping for air]

304
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:48,202
That was close.

305
00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,421
Close?

306
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,162
He caught you in his bushes.Yes.

307
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,121
He did, and when he helped
me up, we locked eyes.

308
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,253
And I knew.

309
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,428
And he knew I knew.

310
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:59,474
And I knew he knew I knew.

311
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,912
Hang on!
He's coming back out.

312
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,174
Let me see.

313
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,786
Oh, God.

314
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,439
All right. Ooh!

315
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:10,311
He's moving something
into the backyard.

316
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,008
[gasps]
Oh, my God!

317
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,053
What?

318
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:20,147
Mrs. O'Donnell
bought the farm.

319
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:23,803
E-I-E-I-O--
we've got you now!

320
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:31,898
Shouldn't we just
call the cops?

321
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,464
No!

322
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,336
Until we know that his
wife is butchered

323
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:36,903
and wrapped in
that Hefty bag,

324
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,861
I don't want to jump
to conclusions.

325
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,210
Fine, but if...

326
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,430
if he comes back here
with an ax,

327
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,127
it's every man for himself.

328
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,477
I don't have to outrun him,
I just have to outrun you.

329
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,874
If he thinks a locked gate
is gonna stop us,

330
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,049
he doesn't know
who he's dealing with.

331
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:54,442
All right, come on.Wha...?

332
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,183
What are you doing?

333
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,402
I'm gonna boost you
over the fence.What?

334
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,491
Then you can unlock the gate,
and I can get in there.

335
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:01,928
If I get trapped back there,

336
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,017
what's stopping him
from killing me?

337
00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,496
Nothing, but don't
dwell on that.

338
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,150
Come on, let's go.

339
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,195
Oh... [huffs]

340
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,545
All right, we're gonna...

341
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,199
all right,
we're gonna... Ow!

342
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,635
We're gonna go on three--
One...

343
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:14,679
two... three!

344
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:17,857
[both yell]

345
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:21,251
[glass breaks, dog yapping]Mom!

346
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,165
Mom?

347
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:24,733
Mom!

348
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:28,389
JOYCE:
Don't worry.
I stuck the landing.

349
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:32,001
VINCE:
At least your wife
had the balls

350
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,481
to say, "Screw you, world.

351
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,265
I'm following my dreams
to be a writer."

352
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,441
I admire that.

353
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,790
Although, bless her heart,
she never told me

354
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:42,577
a story I wanted
to hear again.

355
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:43,534
I guess it was easier for me.

356
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,449
Ever since I was a kid,

357
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,147
my dream was to be a policeman.

358
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,800
You know, assuming
the Spider-Man thing

359
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,846
didn't work out.

360
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:53,153
Being a cop was never my dream.

361
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,590
It's just a job, not my passion.

362
00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:56,460
What is your passion?

363
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:57,505
Don't.

364
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,246
♪ Turn around ♪

365
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,944
♪ Every now and then ♪

366
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,772
♪ I get a little bit lonely ♪

367
00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,252
♪ That you're never
coming 'round. ♪

368
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,428
We get it.♪ Turn around ♪

369
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:10,213
♪ Every now and then I get ♪

370
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,303
♪ A little bit tired
of listening... ♪

371
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:14,435
All right,
Bright Eyes, enough!

372
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,918
I think you a have
a beautiful singing voice.

373
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,832
Heard that all my life.

374
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,270
But having a voice like honey
don't guarantee you money.

375
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:27,317
I also write my own lyrics.

376
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,928
I escaped genocide.

377
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,973
Pass the dip?

378
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,717
I, too, walked away
from my true calling.

379
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:36,674
What was that?

380
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:37,937
Promise you won't laugh?

381
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,764
No.

382
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:42,854
Screw it, I don't give a damn
what you morons think.

383
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,422
I wanted to be a hairdresser.

384
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,729
Really?

385
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,730
Oh, yeah.

386
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,297
And I was damn good.

387
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,776
Could frame any face
with the perfect do.

388
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:55,171
Cut, color, style,
the whole shebang.

389
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:56,651
Why did you give it up?

390
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,827
It was a different time.

391
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,742
People weren't as accepting
as they are now.

392
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:04,702
I'll never forget the look on
my dad's face when he walked in

393
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,140
on me feathering my
friend Craig's hair.

394
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:10,404
Damn it, I should've
locked that door!

395
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,322
Wow.

396
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,585
My old man caught me
humping the ottoman.

397
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,198
Yours is much worse.

398
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:25,332
That was the last time
I ever held a pair of clippers.

399
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:28,726
Chicago would never know
the full salon experience

400
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,815
of Tints...

401
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:32,904
by Vince.

402
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,518
Well, my dream was to have

403
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:38,519
a good group
of supportive friends

404
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:42,131
and just be one of the guys.

405
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,569
I hope that works out for you.

406
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:51,184
[dog yapping]

407
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,620
Mom, hurry up!

408
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:53,708
JOYCE:
The dog's blocking the gate.

409
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:54,883
Well, then move him!

410
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:55,971
Fine!

411
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,451
[dog yelping]

412
00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,366
Oh!

413
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,368
He's your
problem now.

414
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,239
Oh, my God!
It's his car!

415
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,501
Get out of there, Mom!

416
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:06,286
It's locked
from the inside!

417
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,635
This whole thing
has been a setup!

418
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,332
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

419
00:17:09,419 --> 00:17:10,681
I know, I know!

420
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,466
What are you doing
with my dog?!

421
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:16,600
Oh, is this your...?

422
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,863
You better tell me what's going
on or I'm calling the police.

423
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,387
Yeah, why don't you do that?
I'm bet they'd be

424
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,084
very interested to see
what you've got

425
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,304
in the garbage cans
in your backyard.

426
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:27,133
JOYCE:
All I see is a seamstress dummy
and a bunch of purses.

427
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,482
Who the hell is in my backyard?

428
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:31,267
My mother.

429
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:32,834
She's digging in my trash?

430
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,009
No, she's digging for the truth.

431
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,358
And I've got a question for you.

432
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,490
Where the hell is your wife?

433
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,447
She's dead.

434
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,102
I knew it!

435
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:41,538
Everybody knows it.

436
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:44,019
She passed away over a year ago.

437
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,761
What? What's that?

438
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,545
I was throwing away her stuff

439
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,809
'cause the therapist said
it was time to move on.

440
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:52,984
That... that's...

441
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,465
that does sound very healthy.

442
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,642
The entire neighborhood
came to the funeral.

443
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:01,384
You didn't even send a card.

444
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:02,603
[stammering]

445
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,432
We sent like a stack of cards.

446
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,912
That mailman is shifty.

447
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,827
I don't trust him.

448
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,002
Oh...

449
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,527
You're horrible neighbors!

450
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,658
I'll see you at the block party!

451
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:17,444
I make a great Ambrosia.

452
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,100
What are you doing?

453
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,710
JOYCE:
These purses are designer.

454
00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:24,755
Grab as many as you can.

455
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,378
Hey, sweetie.
What are you doing?

456
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,597
Oh, you know,
just giving us some privacy.

457
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,600
We don't need these looky-loos
up in our business.

458
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:46,951
Hey, uh, can I talk
to you for a second?

459
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,170
Why? Did somebody call you?What?

460
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,606
What? What?
What did you say?

461
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,741
Sit.

462
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:57,658
Listen, I've been thinking
about something.

463
00:18:57,745 --> 00:19:00,748
Not a lot of people would have
the guts to quit their job

464
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,925
and follow their dreams
like you have.

465
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,535
I'm proud of you.

466
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,494
Aw.

467
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,974
Thank you.

468
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,715
What brought this on?

469
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:14,762
Nothing, I'm a terrific guy.[laughs]

470
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,633
Yeah, you are.

471
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,767
And don't worry, I came up
with a great story today.

472
00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,726
It's about a caring,
noble woman who comes

473
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,685
to the rescue of her
grief-stricken neighbor.

474
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,645
Hmm.

475
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:29,951
Does she do it by throwing
her mom over the fence

476
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,562
and stealing
his dead wife's purses?

477
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,522
He called you?

478
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,176
No, he called the precinct.Ew!

479
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,134
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

480
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,396
And FORD

481
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:49,188
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org