1
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:05,527
Hey, honey.

2
00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:07,050
Whatcha doing?

3
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:08,095
Just going through your
credit card bills.

4
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:10,140
Uh, ye...
Coming!

5
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:14,057
Nobody else is home, Molly.

6
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,754
Have a seat.

7
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,930
This is becoming, like,
an every month thing for you.

8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,325
Well, now that we're
a one-income family

9
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:23,023
we really have got
to watch our spending.

10
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,242
Hey, I've been
really good lately--

11
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,288
no Starbucks, no manicures,

12
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,768
I've only had one palm reading.What?

13
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,596
See? Madam Olga said
you'd be upset.

14
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:34,295
You're hilarious.

15
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,774
[giggles]

16
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,385
Look, I was going
over these bills,

17
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,908
and I think there's
a few more areas

18
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,170
where we can cut back.

19
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,780
Let's hear it.Well, how about this

20
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,347
"Wax On, Wax Off" place,
is that a car wash?

21
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,610
'Cause I could do
that in the driveway.

22
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:48,091
That's my bikini wax, you want
to do that in the driveway?

23
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,095
We'll file that under
"medical expenses."

24
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:55,533
Here's what we don't need--
NFL Sports Package.

25
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:56,708
No, no, no, no!

26
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,275
We both need that.

27
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,277
If I'm not watching
football here,

28
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:01,670
I'm at a bar.

29
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,324
If I'm at a bar,
having a few beers.

30
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,108
Now, games are Sunday,
Monday, and Thursday.

31
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:08,024
Let's say at least
three beers per game,

32
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,853
times 17 weeks...Uh-huh.

33
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,073
plus playoffs.

34
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,945
Saving $50 has cost you...

35
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:18,165
one husband to alcoholism.

36
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,298
Anything's better
than this.

37
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:22,386
What?
What?

38
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:26,782
O-Okay.

39
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,306
Oh, here, here's
a perfect example

40
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,047
of a luxury item
we do not need.

41
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,266
Bottled water.

42
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:33,963
Mike, we need water to live.

43
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:35,225
We have it...

44
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:36,183
right here.

45
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:39,055
Look, and it's free.

46
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,231
From Lake Michigan to our home.

47
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,321
See? Perfectly good water.

48
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,324
You gonna drink that
or paint the house with it?

49
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,849
Well, give it a second,
you just got to let the minerals

50
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,851
and vitamins sink to the bottom.

51
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,767
Or-- I have another idea--
how about you drink that,

52
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,942
I'll drink
the bottled water.

53
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,596
It'll last twice as long.

54
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,337
[gasps] Who just cut
our water bill in half?

55
00:02:00,424 --> 00:02:03,123
You're welcome.

56
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,385
Out of water?

57
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:05,125
Mine's still full.

58
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,172
Mine will be-- let me just
swap out this dead soldier.

59
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,087
You can't lift that jug,
let me help you with it.

60
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,350
No, I got it,
it's my water.

61
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:14,395
[sighs]

62
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,048
I can change it.

63
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,878
Just enjoy your
"Cloudy with a Chance of Hep C."

64
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,880
Would you like some help?

65
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,447
No, I got it.

66
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,319
Oh...

67
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:27,669
God...!

68
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:28,931
[groans]

69
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,976
[breathes heavily]

70
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,369
Easy-peasy.

71
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,329
All right, so it's
just a little...

72
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,853
a full flip, and there we go.

73
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,131
It's delicious.

74
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,180
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪

75
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:03,183
♪ La,
la-ba-dee-da ♪

76
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:07,404
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

77
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,753
♪ I see love ♪

78
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,103
♪ I see love♪

79
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,019
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

80
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,717
♪ I see love ♪

81
00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:18,763
♪ I see love.♪

82
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:27,903
Just leave the pot.
I hardly slept.

83
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,557
Well, you should
get a body pillow.

84
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,907
Ever since I got one,
I've been sleeping like a baby.

85
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,343
I literally woke up
with my thumb in my mouth.

86
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,087
Well, don't tell me
where the other thumb was,

87
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,568
I had enough
nightmares last night.

88
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:43,048
Have you heard the one
where you wake

89
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,746
to the passionate sounds
of your roommate

90
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,138
humping a body pillow?

91
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,881
I told you, I was just
flipping it to the cool side.

92
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,363
My thighs get hot.

93
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:56,410
No, this dream started with
all my teeth crumbling.

94
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:59,804
Oh, that usually represents
a feeling of powerlessness,

95
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,676
like your life is falling apart.

96
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,069
Or it could reflect
your dental hygiene.

97
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,681
Picking your teeth
with a parking citation

98
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,291
is not the same as flossing.

99
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,208
After my teeth fell out,
I was suddenly in a bathroom.

100
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,297
I sat on a pot, and money just
started pouring out of it--

101
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:17,169
coins, bills, everything.

102
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,477
But when I tried to grab it,
it all flushed away.

103
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:21,391
Diarrhea money.

104
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,004
This is a very common dream.

105
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:28,485
Your loose bowels represent
a lack of control in your life.

106
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,791
The money could be anything.

107
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,923
Like money.

108
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,231
Yeah! Money!

109
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,754
At the rate me and Molly
are paying down our debt,

110
00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,278
our first home's gonna
be a nursing home.

111
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,323
Boo-hoo.

112
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:44,066
My credit rating is so bad,
I can't even get intodebt.

113
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,197
CARL:
Mm!

114
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,722
Praise God, someday.

115
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,506
Yeah, I feel bad
for you guys,

116
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,421
'cause after 37 years
of living with my grandma

117
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,205
[chuckles] I'm flush.

118
00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:01,257
I'm paying for lunch, aren't I?

119
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:05,827
Samuel, get me
the dessert menu.

120
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,399
[laughs]

121
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,967
Oh, uh-oh... Ooh...

122
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,317
Do you want
to go in?

123
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,840
No, no, no,
I'm fine out here.

124
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,668
I promised Mike
I would be good,

125
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,322
and I'm going to be good.

126
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,672
God, those shoes
are beautiful.

127
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:28,763
Oh, I think I can smell the
leather through the glass.

128
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,854
Can't you just
try them on?

129
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,682
No, I can't try them on.

130
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,118
I try them on, I'm...

131
00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,250
I'm gonna buy 'em,
and, I mean...

132
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,557
You know, I guess if
I tried on just one...

133
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,559
you know, in maybe,
like, a size too small,

134
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,692
then it would pinch, and
that would be a really

135
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,520
bad shoe experience,
and I wouldn't want to...

136
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:49,087
I wouldn't want to
get them, you know.

137
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,742
B-But, if-if they run big,
and it fits perfectly,

138
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,049
then I got, you know,
that's fate...

139
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:57,095
and who am I to deal with fate,
so then I ambuying the shoe...

140
00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,880
No, you know what,
I'm-I'm just gonna st...

141
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,751
I'm not going in.

142
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:01,665
Okay, then we'll leave.

143
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,319
No, we're not leaving.

144
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,756
You're trying on shoes!
Get in there!

145
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,193
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

146
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,065
We don't need boots.
No, come here.

147
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:12,546
These are the showstoppers.
The black ones.

148
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,722
Yeah, they're all black.

149
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,071
Yeah, not the ugly black ones,

150
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,160
the amazing black ones.
These.

151
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:19,640
Come on. No... no!

152
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,164
I'm not the
bass player for KISS.

153
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,252
Come on, one up,

154
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,080
one up, and two over.

155
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,298
One up, up, up, up.

156
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,737
Two over. Two over.

157
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:30,738
Two... yes.

158
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,000
Yes, yes, yes.

159
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:33,218
These are nice.

160
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,655
Right? I know! Hello!

161
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,353
Excuse me, do you
have these in nine?

162
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,485
Or eight? Eight?

163
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,008
But I'm a nine.

164
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:41,662
All right, fine.
Do they run small?

165
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:45,840
That's the last pair
we have and it's an eight.

166
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,537
[gasps] Did you say eight?
'Cause I'll take 'em.

167
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,061
I thought you weren't
gonna buy anything.

168
00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:52,107
I'm not, you are.
Put it on my credit cards.

169
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,239
I was never here.
I'll meet you in the alley.

170
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,290
Oh, God.

171
00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:03,248
Why did you let me
let you do something

172
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:04,554
that I wasn't supposed to do?

173
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,730
And why are you
so beautiful?

174
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,953
I know this is weird,
coming from your stoner sister:

175
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,303
but you've got a problem.

176
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,696
JOYCE:
The only problem

177
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,959
she'll have is
if Mike sees them.

178
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,048
You want me to keep them
in my vibrator cabinet?

179
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:21,658
I lock those up like guns.

180
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:25,270
No. I mean, I did it,
I have to be honest

181
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:26,489
and own up to my own mistakes.

182
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,883
[door closes]
MIKE:
Molly!

183
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:31,015
Oh, God, get 'em off,
get 'em off, get 'em off!

184
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,930
Oh, oh!Hey.

185
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:35,324
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, you.

186
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,457
I stayed home
all day,

187
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:38,806
I don't know what
these two did.

188
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,986
What's up with
those two?

189
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,596
Drunk? High? Who knows.

190
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,167
Addiction is a problem,
and we have to be understanding.

191
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,345
Why are you so tall?

192
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,129
Why are you so handsome?

193
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,527
Where are you going?Where are yougoing?

194
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,399
What are you doing?

195
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,489
What are youdoing?

196
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:12,143
No, no.Are those new shoes?

197
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,493
No.Really?

198
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,234
No.

199
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:17,714
How much were they?They were on sale.

200
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,455
Really?Yes.

201
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:20,587
Molly?

202
00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:22,414
No.You are killing me!

203
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,331
Come on, they're
one pair of shoes.

204
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:27,811
I promise I won't do it again.

205
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,770
You say that every time.

206
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,598
But we're drowning in debt
and it's all on my shoulders.

207
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,601
It's not all on your shoulders,
it's on my shoulders, too.

208
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:35,732
How?

209
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,255
Are you going to work every day?

210
00:08:37,342 --> 00:08:38,648
No, you're just
going out and shopping

211
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,607
and spending all of my money.

212
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:42,696
Really?

213
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,611
Oh, boy.

214
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,482
Yourmoney? Wow.

215
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,875
Look, I...
don't turn this on me,

216
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,224
you're the one who
bought the stupid shoes.

217
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,531
Got it:
stupid shoes, your money.

218
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,663
Hey, I'm right on this one,

219
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,231
and you're not making
me feel bad about it.

220
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,495
Damn it!
I feel bad about it.

221
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,029
Vince.

222
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,857
There he is.
Have a seat, champ.

223
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,946
Brewed a fresh pot of coffee
and made you some eggs.

224
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,122
Why are you
making me breakfast?

225
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,646
You got to be hungry

226
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,213
after that ass chewing
you gave your wife.

227
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,214
You heard about that?

228
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:25,521
The whole house is abuzz.

229
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,392
Sit down, hero.

230
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,133
Hero.

231
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,832
I slept on a La-Z-Boy
in the basement last night.

232
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,051
And Jesus wore
a crown of thorns.

233
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,099
It was just a dumb
fight about shoes.

234
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,971
No, it was much more than that.

235
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:42,059
You said, "my money."

236
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:44,322
You had the balls to say

237
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,063
what a generation of men
have wanted to

238
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,935
since the dawn
of joint checking accounts.

239
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,677
Morning.

240
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,679
Morning, Moll.

241
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,681
Nice shoes.Yeah, bite me.

242
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,204
Just so you know,

243
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,945
I'm going out and
getting a job today,

244
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,903
just so I can pay you
back your precious money.

245
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,297
Molly, you're being ridiculous.
You don't have to get a job.

246
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:03,994
Oh, am I ridiculous now, too?[groans]

247
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,909
You know what? I'm gonna
put that on my resumé

248
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,519
under "Special Skills."

249
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,130
VINCE:
Hey, if you're

250
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,001
looking for a job, I got
a buddy who owns a school

251
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,524
teaching foreigners
how to drive cars.

252
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,962
You'd be surprised
how much money you can make

253
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,138
exploiting the undocumented
immigrant market.

254
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:21,316
I have a master's degree,
Vince, okay?

255
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:24,188
I think I can get something
a little bit better than that.

256
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,756
VINCE:
Wow.

257
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:29,280
You may never
get laid again.

258
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,078
So, do you have any skills?

259
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,080
Uh, yeah, I was a teacher
for the Chicago school system

260
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,169
for the last ten years, so...

261
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:51,346
Oh. No skills.

262
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:54,175
No, no, no, I have,
I have skills-- I can type.

263
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:55,916
I'm very good with a computer.

264
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,526
Oh, that's terrific.

265
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,007
Uh, how do you feel
about house painting?

266
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,052
[chuckles]
Painting.

267
00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:04,272
[laughs]: Well, I couldn't
start you off as a painter.

268
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:07,014
No, maybe a scraper
or a prepper.

269
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:09,103
A can... shaker. That...

270
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,279
I-I have a master's degree.

271
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:15,500
Well, if it's
a master's degree in...

272
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,285
air-conditioning repair,
you're in luck.

273
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:20,157
Uh, no, it's in
medieval literature.

274
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:23,770
Um, I just, I just
think that I have

275
00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:26,860
a little more to offer the
world than manual labor.

276
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:30,037
[chuckles] Well, the world
doesn't give a hot crap.

277
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,954
Do you mind if, uh,
we get real for a second?

278
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,695
Realer than that?

279
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:36,521
Here it is:

280
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,219
We're all screwed.

281
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:42,789
If you don't have money now,
you are never getting any.

282
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,791
Because the three guys
that have it all

283
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,488
are not sharing.

284
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:49,317
Are you sure that
you're the one

285
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:52,755
I'm supposed to be talking
to about getting a job?

286
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,322
There are no jobs.
In fact,

287
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:57,629
this agency is shutting down
in two weeks.

288
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,153
We're all getting laid off.

289
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,765
And I just got
a fully-loaded Ford Focus.

290
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,028
Those are nice.

291
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,421
Yeah.

292
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,597
Nice enough to live in?

293
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,253
You know what, I'm just...

294
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,821
I'm probably just gonna go.

295
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,214
Hey, you know...
how about you...

296
00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,826
get yourself a little
treat at lunch,

297
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:21,218
on me.
[nervous chuckle]

298
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:22,872
Bless you.

299
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,440
You know I'm gonna
spend this on liquor.

300
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:28,530
I do.

301
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,362
[sighs]

302
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,799
Can't believe this
is the only job I could get.

303
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,670
I have a master's degree.

304
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:42,718
I'm just doing this so I can
get a job driving a taxi.

305
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,415
And I have a PhD.

306
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:48,028
Well, good for you, Dr. Don't
Have a Driver's License.

307
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:49,681
Ten and two!

308
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,553
That's 11 and one!
Ten and two!

309
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,690
You know, this is me and Molly's
first big fight.

310
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,954
Well, that's what
happens with couples.

311
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,303
I remember our
first big fight.

312
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:04,348
The day you brought
harmonica to work?

313
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:05,915
No. Before that.

314
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,308
When I snatched that second
double cheeseburger

315
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:08,657
out of your hand.

316
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,181
Oh, right,
that was a bad one.

317
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:14,054
Yeah. You bit me.

318
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:16,796
I let up when I realized
it wasn't hamburger.

319
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,928
[chuckles]

320
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,930
I-I just didn't understand
the issues that you
were going through,

321
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,584
but you know,
I did it out of love.

322
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,107
Oh, I know.

323
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,935
It was right after that
that I joined OA.

324
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:29,504
Molly?!

325
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,635
She was there, too.

326
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:31,941
Changed my whole life.

327
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,813
No, Molly.

328
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,162
Molly?

329
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,250
Oh, you got
to be kidding me.

330
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:37,817
Drive. Drive.

331
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,122
It's a red light.

332
00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:40,820
Then... check both
ways, but go, go,

333
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:41,429
go!

334
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,737
Where is she going?

335
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,435
She was looking
right at me.

336
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,350
Wow. Never seen somebody
storm off in a Prius.

337
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:53,571
Didn't make any noise,
but it sure made her point.

338
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:56,183
Follow that car.

339
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,841
Damn it, we can't
shake these clowns.

340
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,320
Aren't we supposed to
pull over for the police?

341
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,714
Only if there's lights
and a siren.

342
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:06,715
[siren wailing]

343
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,369
Gah!Oh.

344
00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:09,587
Oh, my goodness.

345
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:10,762
Just keep it together,
professor,

346
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,676
and make a left up here.

347
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,330
Don't use your signal,

348
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,941
they'll know
which way we're turning.

349
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,420
Just accelerate
through the turn.

350
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:18,248
Watch it.

351
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,772
[tires squeal]

352
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,644
I don't know why that
woman's taking classes.

353
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:24,864
You see the way she
just took that corner?

354
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,344
[amplified]: Molly, pull over,
we need to talk.

355
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,042
The police know you?!

356
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,565
Are you a criminal?

357
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:31,348
No, I'm your one chance
out of this mess.

358
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,655
Speed bump.

359
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,353
MOLLY:
Aah!

360
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,442
Speed bump.

361
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:40,662
[sighs]

362
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,185
You know, I hate to pry,

363
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,752
but obviously,
this is a result

364
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:44,971
of a lack of communication

365
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,363
between you and
your spouse.

366
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,235
Shut up, you.

367
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,542
I'm just saying,
I know how you can be.

368
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:52,630
Hey, I'm not
in the wrong, here.

369
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,719
She bought the shoes.Ah.

370
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,939
See what you did, there? Instead
of trying to find a solution,

371
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,680
you're trying to lay blame.

372
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,682
Really? So even when she's wrong
I don't get to be right.

373
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,553
Like Oprah says,
"Do you want to be right

374
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:03,511
or do you want
to be married?"

375
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,469
Oprah isn't married.

376
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:06,862
Well, she's got Gayle.

377
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:11,040
Come on, Molly,
pull over the car, please.

378
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,086
Please, please
let me pull over.

379
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,653
Oh, fine. If you're gonna be
such a stickler for the law,

380
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,438
you're never gonna make it
as a cabbie in this town.

381
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,095
I know she's my wife,

382
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,618
but this is still
evading arrest.

383
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:24,967
Don't go in
with a hot head.

384
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,665
Remember: listen,
acknowledge,

385
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:30,320
admit, and apologize.

386
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,583
LAAA.

387
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:33,628
Oprah?

388
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,543
Carl.

389
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,115
Molly, what the hell
are you doing?

390
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,812
I am trying to earn
my own money.

391
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,640
This is ridiculous.Why?

392
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:49,122
What you said is true-- the
money you make is not my money.

393
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,080
It isyour money.No, it's not.

394
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,865
I'm not working,
I'm just spending.

395
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,303
Well, you're working
at trying to be a writer.[scoffs]

396
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,522
I don't even know if I'm
good enough to be one.

397
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,003
You are.How do you know? I...

398
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,788
Idon't even know.
And that's what scares
the hell out of me.

399
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,877
Then I get scared, and
I get nervous, and I...

400
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,618
go shopping,
and if I go shopping,

401
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,578
I buy stupid shoes, all trying
to make me feel better.

402
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,406
[sighs]

403
00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:13,407
Do they make you
feel better?

404
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:17,237
Yes.

405
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,370
Then you should keep 'em.

406
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,329
No, I can't.

407
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,287
Yes, you can.

408
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,420
I want you to be happy.

409
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,552
'Cause when you're not happy,

410
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:31,381
I'm miserable.

411
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:35,081
In that case, there's a...

412
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:38,780
there's a purse and a belt that
might put me over the moon.

413
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,129
Don't push it.I know.

414
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,349
You're right.
And I'm going to,

415
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,264
I'm going to work
really hard to be better.

416
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,787
You know what?

417
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,397
I'm gonna give you
my credit cards.

418
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:49,399
You don't have to do that.No, I want-I want to.

419
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,619
I already canceled them.

420
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:55,014
Even the ones you
don't know about?

421
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,580
You're gonna be the death of me.[giggles]

422
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,759
I'll see you at home.

423
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,331
Sorry.

424
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,941
Are we in trouble?

425
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,422
No, no. Just take a turn
at the next light and head

426
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,903
towards Michigan Avenue.

427
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:17,514
I've got a purse and a belt
I need to return.

428
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:28,569
Okay, I'd like to return these.
Uh, funny story--

429
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,832
I got home, and my
husband had already

430
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,312
bought me the same shoes,
the same belt

431
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:34,270
and the same purse.

432
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:37,230
I mean, does he
know me or what?

433
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:38,796
[chuckles]

434
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:39,710
You wore these.

435
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:42,583
No, no, I didn't.

436
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,063
They're still warm.

437
00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,678
All right, then take
back the purse and belt.

438
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:54,073
Come on, my frickin'
marriage is on the line here.

439
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,553
Best I can do is give you
a store credit.

440
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,385
Okay, I'll take the
purse and the belt.

441
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:05,127
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

442
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,390
and FORD

443
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:09,436
Captioned by
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