1
00:00:04,229 --> 00:00:05,678
Sure was sweet of
the neighbors to let us
2
00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:07,848
piggyback on on to
their garage sale.
3
00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:08,968
They didn't let us.
4
00:00:08,969 --> 00:00:11,388
I just started throwing
crap on their lawn.
5
00:00:11,389 --> 00:00:13,388
They're too polite to say no.
6
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:17,348
It's the one up-side of having
religious nuts as neighbors.
7
00:00:17,349 --> 00:00:19,678
Mom, just because people
smile and wave at us,
8
00:00:19,679 --> 00:00:22,098
does not make them
religious nuts.
9
00:00:22,099 --> 00:00:25,058
Hmm. Either way, the meek
are about to inherit
10
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,729
a big ball of tangled
Christmas lights.
11
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:29,928
Well, that's how
we're gonna play it,
12
00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:32,728
let's giveth unto them
Mike's old snow tires.
13
00:00:32,729 --> 00:00:33,728
Gangway!
14
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,678
Starboard!
Starboard!
15
00:00:35,679 --> 00:00:37,348
Starboard!
Starboard!
16
00:00:37,349 --> 00:00:38,768
On my starboard
or your starboard?
17
00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:41,453
Whichever one doesn't crush
my barnacles against the wall!
18
00:00:43,269 --> 00:00:45,639
Guess what I bought
from the religious nuts?
19
00:00:47,099 --> 00:00:48,638
You got to be kidding me, Vin.
20
00:00:48,639 --> 00:00:50,268
I want that eyesore out of here.
21
00:00:50,269 --> 00:00:51,348
Hold on, Joyce.
22
00:00:51,349 --> 00:00:52,768
You got to picture
it all fixed up,
23
00:00:52,769 --> 00:00:56,179
with me on deck in my Speedo,
like Aristotle Onassis.
24
00:00:57,389 --> 00:00:58,848
Couldn't you have stopped him?
25
00:00:58,849 --> 00:01:00,018
You've seen him in that Speedo.
26
00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:01,428
Oh, I tried to
talk him out of it,
27
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,558
but he made
a very good argument.
28
00:01:02,559 --> 00:01:03,558
What?
29
00:01:03,559 --> 00:01:05,639
I get to be first mate.
30
00:01:08,019 --> 00:01:11,308
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
31
00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:14,228
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
32
00:01:14,229 --> 00:01:16,388
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
33
00:01:16,389 --> 00:01:18,428
♪ I see love ♪
34
00:01:18,429 --> 00:01:20,888
♪ I see love ♪
35
00:01:20,889 --> 00:01:23,558
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
36
00:01:23,559 --> 00:01:25,123
♪ I see love ♪
37
00:01:25,124 --> 00:01:29,226
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
38
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:41,101
Yeah, I got to admit,
man, I had my doubts,
39
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,311
but this boat is really
starting to shape up.
40
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:46,641
Even smells better since you
found whatever died in the hull.
41
00:01:46,642 --> 00:01:48,021
I don't know what
that skeleton was,
42
00:01:48,022 --> 00:01:50,192
but the thing
in it's belly was a turtle.
43
00:01:53,732 --> 00:01:55,021
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
44
00:01:55,022 --> 00:01:57,271
What... what are you
doing over there?
45
00:01:57,272 --> 00:01:58,931
I'm sanding.
46
00:01:58,932 --> 00:02:00,692
You're treating it like
it's a piece of wood.
47
00:02:01,602 --> 00:02:03,771
It is a piece of wood.
48
00:02:03,772 --> 00:02:05,891
No, no, no, a boat
is like a lady,
49
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:09,061
so you got to touch it
like a lady: gentle.
50
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,431
Front...
51
00:02:10,432 --> 00:02:11,691
to back.
52
00:02:11,692 --> 00:02:13,561
Front...
53
00:02:13,562 --> 00:02:14,562
to back.
54
00:02:15,932 --> 00:02:17,812
I know how to touch a lady.
55
00:02:19,102 --> 00:02:20,312
All right, show me again.
56
00:02:22,522 --> 00:02:24,431
There, nice and easy.
57
00:02:24,432 --> 00:02:25,431
Go with the grain,
58
00:02:25,432 --> 00:02:27,061
make it come alive.
59
00:02:27,062 --> 00:02:29,431
Half the work, twice the reward.
60
00:02:29,432 --> 00:02:30,431
You had me at "half the work."
61
00:02:30,432 --> 00:02:31,981
When we're done,
62
00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:34,811
the Jolly Joyce will be
the prettiest tug on Lake Michigan.
63
00:02:34,812 --> 00:02:36,391
Jolly Joyce.
64
00:02:36,392 --> 00:02:39,231
Those are two words
I'd never put together.
65
00:02:39,232 --> 00:02:41,271
Although it will make it harder
for her to take an ax
66
00:02:41,272 --> 00:02:42,431
to something that's
named after her.
67
00:02:42,432 --> 00:02:43,431
Exactly.
68
00:02:43,432 --> 00:02:44,431
Why do you think so many boats
69
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:45,601
are named after women?
70
00:02:47,062 --> 00:02:48,431
Not bad.
71
00:02:48,432 --> 00:02:50,141
Not bad. With those
big mitts of yours,
72
00:02:50,142 --> 00:02:51,431
we'll be done in no time.
73
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:52,641
And then we set sail.
74
00:02:52,642 --> 00:02:53,641
You betcha.
75
00:02:53,642 --> 00:02:55,521
We'll find our own
secret fishing spot
76
00:02:55,522 --> 00:02:56,851
and yank in so many trout,
77
00:02:56,852 --> 00:02:59,692
your grandkids won't even
know the species existed.
78
00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:02,771
I always loved fishing as a kid.
79
00:03:02,772 --> 00:03:05,102
Any sport where you
could sit, really.
80
00:03:06,432 --> 00:03:08,141
Oh, your old man take you out?
81
00:03:08,142 --> 00:03:09,141
All the time.
82
00:03:09,142 --> 00:03:10,601
Some of my best
memories with him.
83
00:03:10,602 --> 00:03:12,771
Well, you and I are going to
make some new memories.
84
00:03:12,772 --> 00:03:14,981
Like the time you ran
and got me that beer.
85
00:03:14,982 --> 00:03:16,431
When was that?
86
00:03:16,432 --> 00:03:18,431
Right now.
87
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:19,731
Permission to go ashore
88
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:22,351
and procure us a couple of
cold ones, Captain.
89
00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:23,351
Granted.
90
00:03:23,352 --> 00:03:25,101
And procure some Lysol.
91
00:03:25,102 --> 00:03:27,812
The Jolly Joyce still
stinks like dead turtle.
92
00:03:33,272 --> 00:03:34,771
Okay, h-hold still!
93
00:03:34,772 --> 00:03:36,021
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
94
00:03:36,022 --> 00:03:37,641
I'm not even touching you.
95
00:03:37,642 --> 00:03:38,771
Oh.
96
00:03:38,772 --> 00:03:39,771
Ow!
97
00:03:39,772 --> 00:03:41,931
Ha-ha-ha! Got it!
98
00:03:41,932 --> 00:03:44,691
Ooh, splinters and blackheads
are my specialty.
99
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,191
Stay away from my nose.
100
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,231
- We'll see about that.
- Hey, hey.
101
00:03:48,232 --> 00:03:50,021
I can't believe I was
out there for six hours.
102
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:51,931
I sanded off half
my fingerprints.
103
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:55,021
According to my right hand,
I don't exist.
104
00:03:55,022 --> 00:03:56,601
You know, I've been kicking
around some names for the boat.
105
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:59,191
Uh, there's the Good
Golly Miss Molly, or,
106
00:03:59,192 --> 00:04:01,641
I like On the Good Ship
Molly-Pop.
107
00:04:02,772 --> 00:04:04,311
Yeah, Vince is calling her
the Jolly Joyce.
108
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,351
Well, that's a stupid name.
109
00:04:08,562 --> 00:04:10,061
No, it's-it's not
ready yet anyway.
110
00:04:10,062 --> 00:04:12,561
We still got to patch
the hull, grease the motor,
111
00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:15,731
Flemish the lines,
and unplug the scuppers.
112
00:04:15,732 --> 00:04:18,061
Ooh, hello, sailor.
113
00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:19,141
Vince is teaching
me all the terms.
114
00:04:19,142 --> 00:04:21,101
I think he likes
passing down the knowledge.
115
00:04:21,102 --> 00:04:23,141
Oh, you're like
the baby boy he never had.
116
00:04:23,142 --> 00:04:24,271
Yeah.
117
00:04:25,602 --> 00:04:28,431
Uh, oh, and he also taught me
that a boat is like a lady.
118
00:04:28,432 --> 00:04:31,432
Remind me to show you
my new sanding technique.
119
00:04:32,602 --> 00:04:34,271
Don't know what that is,
120
00:04:34,272 --> 00:04:35,931
but I think you're gonna
want to rename it.
121
00:04:36,932 --> 00:04:39,231
Boy, we had a blast
out there today.
122
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:42,021
Hey, did you know that Vince
was in the Merchant Marines?
123
00:04:42,022 --> 00:04:44,601
He lied about his age
so he could join when he was 17.
124
00:04:44,602 --> 00:04:47,601
You know, he's actually
a fascinating man.
125
00:04:47,602 --> 00:04:50,141
How much varnish
did you inhale today?
126
00:04:50,142 --> 00:04:51,392
So much.
127
00:05:01,272 --> 00:05:03,981
There's something sexy
about men in boats.
128
00:05:03,982 --> 00:05:07,981
Well, not those men
and not that boat, but...
129
00:05:07,982 --> 00:05:09,102
you know what I'm saying.
130
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:13,771
Hey! Is Mike still
out in the garage?
131
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,141
Uh, yeah. He and Vince are
having so much fun,
132
00:05:15,142 --> 00:05:18,232
they're peeing in jugs
so they don't have to come inside.
133
00:05:19,562 --> 00:05:21,931
What's in the bags?
134
00:05:21,932 --> 00:05:23,561
Well, you know how Mike's
birthday's coming up,
135
00:05:23,562 --> 00:05:25,431
so I got him
boat slippers, a boat tie,
136
00:05:25,432 --> 00:05:27,852
and a gravy boat
in the shape of a boat.
137
00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:30,601
You have no idea how hard it is
138
00:05:30,602 --> 00:05:33,101
to get presents for somebody
who has no interests.
139
00:05:33,102 --> 00:05:35,102
From now on,
it's all boats, all the time.
140
00:05:36,272 --> 00:05:38,431
I hope he doesn't
get seasick of it.
141
00:05:38,432 --> 00:05:39,431
Get it?
142
00:05:39,432 --> 00:05:40,561
I do get it,
143
00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:43,061
and so do you.
144
00:05:43,062 --> 00:05:44,691
Happy belated.
145
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,021
Oh, you shouldn't have.
146
00:05:46,022 --> 00:05:47,311
No, it's...
147
00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:48,391
it's a bong.
148
00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:49,522
But I'm glad you did.
149
00:05:53,142 --> 00:05:54,851
I think it's sweet,
the two of them
150
00:05:54,852 --> 00:05:57,101
doing this
little project together.
151
00:05:57,102 --> 00:05:59,271
I thought you hated that boat.
152
00:05:59,272 --> 00:06:01,391
You told Vince
that ship's the last thing
153
00:06:01,392 --> 00:06:03,102
he'll be going down on.
154
00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:06,232
Now it goes back.
155
00:06:07,772 --> 00:06:10,101
Let me tell you
a secret about marriage:
156
00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:11,851
when your husband
wants something,
157
00:06:11,852 --> 00:06:14,021
always say no first.
158
00:06:14,022 --> 00:06:15,811
It's all about give and take.
159
00:06:15,812 --> 00:06:18,271
If they think you're
giving them something,
160
00:06:18,272 --> 00:06:19,732
you can take whatever you want.
161
00:06:21,272 --> 00:06:25,271
It works great for cults
and pyramid schemes too.
162
00:06:25,272 --> 00:06:27,351
Say what you will,
163
00:06:27,352 --> 00:06:29,521
but know what I saw when
they dragged that piece of junk
164
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:30,931
up the driveway?
165
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,891
Two tickets to Tom Jones.
166
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,272
I've already picked out
the thong I'm gonna throw.
167
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:39,232
Since when do you
wear underwear?
168
00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:45,062
Funerals, Tom Jones.
169
00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,601
Look, I want to go on your boat,
170
00:06:57,602 --> 00:06:59,691
but this thing makes me
look like an idiot.
171
00:06:59,692 --> 00:07:01,731
Can't I just wear
my little arm floaties?
172
00:07:01,732 --> 00:07:03,311
Sorry, man, ship's rules.
173
00:07:03,312 --> 00:07:05,771
Every passenger has
to have their own life vest.
174
00:07:05,772 --> 00:07:07,521
- What about you?
- I'm crew.
175
00:07:07,522 --> 00:07:09,311
I'm not wearing
that ridiculous thing.
176
00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:11,351
Wait till you see
this boat, Carl.
177
00:07:11,352 --> 00:07:12,521
She's a thing of beauty.
178
00:07:12,522 --> 00:07:14,601
I'm telling you,
Vince really knows his stuff.
179
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,931
Yeah, you two have been
getting pretty close
180
00:07:15,932 --> 00:07:17,481
during this little Sea-do re-do.
181
00:07:17,482 --> 00:07:18,601
You know, we have.
182
00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:20,271
And that's the magic
of this boat.
183
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,641
She showed me Vince
in a completely different light,
184
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,731
and I'm proud
to call him my captain.
185
00:07:24,732 --> 00:07:26,101
I'm happy for you.
186
00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:27,351
And for me.
187
00:07:27,352 --> 00:07:28,891
'Bout time you found
somebody else to look up to.
188
00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:31,061
What are you talking about?
189
00:07:31,062 --> 00:07:32,601
Well, in my quiet way,
190
00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:33,731
I've given you
guidance all these years.
191
00:07:33,732 --> 00:07:36,021
Okay, one:
you've never been quiet,
192
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,641
the only thing
you've given me
193
00:07:37,642 --> 00:07:38,891
is a bad case of hemorrhoids.
194
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:42,141
And I'll always
be there for you, Mike.
195
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:44,061
Just like your hemorrhoids.
196
00:07:44,062 --> 00:07:46,061
Look, what Vince and I have
is different, you know?
197
00:07:46,062 --> 00:07:48,351
I actually think he kind
of sees me like a son.
198
00:07:48,352 --> 00:07:49,431
Yeah?
That's sweet.
199
00:07:49,432 --> 00:07:51,351
Yeah, if I can make his life
a little happier
200
00:07:51,352 --> 00:07:53,271
by playing along, so be it.
201
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:54,271
You're a good man, Mike Biggs.
202
00:07:54,272 --> 00:07:55,601
Thank you.
203
00:07:55,602 --> 00:07:57,231
- I taught you well.
- Wear your floaties and your vest,
204
00:07:57,232 --> 00:07:58,562
you're going overboard.
205
00:08:04,102 --> 00:08:05,891
Okay, now bear in mind, it still
needs a little more work.
206
00:08:05,892 --> 00:08:06,891
Got it.
207
00:08:06,892 --> 00:08:08,141
Okay, and I might
have talked it up
208
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:09,601
a little more than I should've.
209
00:08:09,602 --> 00:08:12,561
- It doesn't look exactly like the boat from Jaws.
- Oh.
210
00:08:12,562 --> 00:08:14,641
You're still gonna buy
a harpoon gun though, aren't you?
211
00:08:14,642 --> 00:08:16,061
Oh, yeah. I don't care
if we never use it,
212
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,771
- it's just gonna look cool.
- Yeah.
213
00:08:17,772 --> 00:08:19,771
Okay.
214
00:08:19,772 --> 00:08:21,102
Here she is.
215
00:08:22,812 --> 00:08:24,602
♪ Ta-da! ♪
216
00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:29,432
That's a great trick,
now make it reappear.
217
00:08:30,852 --> 00:08:31,931
What's going on?
Where is it?
218
00:08:31,932 --> 00:08:33,561
Hey, fellas.
219
00:08:33,562 --> 00:08:34,561
Vince, what the hell happened?
220
00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:35,561
Where's the boat?
221
00:08:35,562 --> 00:08:36,601
Oh, you'll never believe it.
222
00:08:36,602 --> 00:08:38,641
Somebody actually bought
that hunk of junk.
223
00:08:38,642 --> 00:08:40,311
What?
224
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,931
It was the craziest thing.
225
00:08:41,932 --> 00:08:44,101
The mailman's at the box,
he sees the boat.
226
00:08:44,102 --> 00:08:45,771
I give him this whole BS spiel
227
00:08:45,772 --> 00:08:48,641
about taking her out
fishing on Lake Michigan.
228
00:08:48,642 --> 00:08:51,431
Like the one you gave me?
229
00:08:51,432 --> 00:08:52,931
Exactly!
230
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,731
That sucker swallowed it
hook, line, and sinker.
231
00:08:54,732 --> 00:08:56,931
Offered me three times
what I paid for it.
232
00:08:56,932 --> 00:08:58,771
Next thing I know,
233
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,811
the mailman's towing behind
his tiny Jeep.
234
00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:03,141
It-it looked like a little ant
235
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:06,851
pulling a French fry.
236
00:09:06,852 --> 00:09:08,561
Why didn't you call me?
237
00:09:08,562 --> 00:09:10,891
Well, why would I call you
about me selling my boat?
238
00:09:10,892 --> 00:09:12,811
Because we worked
on it together.
239
00:09:12,812 --> 00:09:15,271
Believe me,
that did not go unnoticed.
240
00:09:15,272 --> 00:09:16,561
You worked hard,
241
00:09:16,562 --> 00:09:18,981
you deserve a tickle.
242
00:09:18,982 --> 00:09:21,021
It's not about the money,
243
00:09:21,022 --> 00:09:23,931
you jackass!
244
00:09:23,932 --> 00:09:25,521
Well, it was just a bunch
of boards and a motor.
245
00:09:25,522 --> 00:09:27,271
What are you getting
so cheesed off about?
246
00:09:27,272 --> 00:09:29,352
Because I'm a bigger sucker
than the mailman.
247
00:09:38,732 --> 00:09:42,285
This is for the bright-orange,
non-refundable life vest.
248
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,316
Okay.
249
00:09:57,317 --> 00:09:58,406
Where's Mike?
250
00:09:58,407 --> 00:09:59,986
Why would you think he was here?
251
00:09:59,987 --> 00:10:02,816
Well, his car's in the driveway,
his shoes are by the door,
252
00:10:02,817 --> 00:10:05,236
and you're holding
a big corner piece of lasagna.
253
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,986
That's pretty much
the smoking gun right there.
254
00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:09,906
Look, I don't know what you
two were fighting about,
255
00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:12,566
but he's right
and you owe him an apology.
256
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,696
We are not fighting.
257
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:15,906
Well, he's upset
about something.
258
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,776
He marched right upstairs
to his old bedroom
259
00:10:17,777 --> 00:10:20,856
and has been playing records
on his hi-fi ever since.
260
00:10:20,857 --> 00:10:22,276
He's playing records
on his hi-fi?
261
00:10:22,277 --> 00:10:24,946
Is he gonna go
to the sock-hop after that?
262
00:10:24,947 --> 00:10:28,356
He was never invited
to the sock-hop.
263
00:10:28,357 --> 00:10:29,406
It's a damn shame.
264
00:10:29,407 --> 00:10:30,856
He was the best dancer
in that school.
265
00:10:30,857 --> 00:10:33,420
He used to throw me
around like a rag doll.
266
00:10:34,407 --> 00:10:36,986
Please don't give me
those visuals.
267
00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:39,106
Well, if you didn't drive
him back into mama's arms,
268
00:10:39,107 --> 00:10:40,107
what did?
269
00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:42,816
Vince sold his boat.
270
00:10:42,817 --> 00:10:44,356
Mike had a boat?
271
00:10:44,357 --> 00:10:45,856
No, Vi...
272
00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:47,776
No, Vince sold his own boat.
273
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,566
Why would Mikey care
what that salami in a sweat suit
274
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,567
does with his boat?
275
00:10:53,777 --> 00:10:55,356
I think he was looking forward
276
00:10:55,357 --> 00:10:57,526
to going fishing with Vince,
like he used to with his dad.
277
00:10:57,527 --> 00:10:59,196
What the hell are
you talking about?
278
00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:02,486
That rat bastard
never took my boy fishing.
279
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,986
He always promised to,
but the closest he ever came
280
00:11:04,987 --> 00:11:07,406
was dropping Mikey off at
Long John Silver's,
281
00:11:07,407 --> 00:11:10,107
while he went to the booby bar.
282
00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:12,906
Oh, boy, okay.
283
00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:16,196
Mike's gonna really need
this lasagna.
284
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,946
I never liked
that Moranto clown.
285
00:11:18,947 --> 00:11:20,816
Tell Mikey I'll be back.
286
00:11:20,817 --> 00:11:22,066
Where are you going?
287
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:26,406
To see a man about a boat.
288
00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:48,066
All right, just leave
the lasagna at the door, Ma.
289
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:49,486
Oh.
290
00:11:49,487 --> 00:11:50,566
- It's me.
- Hey.
291
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,067
How much of that did you see?
292
00:11:55,027 --> 00:11:56,986
Uh...
293
00:11:56,987 --> 00:11:59,277
enough to know I want
to date the drummer.
294
00:12:00,357 --> 00:12:01,566
Very funny.
295
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:02,986
You okay?
296
00:12:02,987 --> 00:12:04,146
Oh, I'm perfect.
297
00:12:04,147 --> 00:12:06,356
I'm a grown man,
laying in his childhood bed
298
00:12:06,357 --> 00:12:08,236
doing an air drum solo.
299
00:12:08,237 --> 00:12:09,697
No red flags here.
300
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:13,106
When I'd have a really rough
day in high school,
301
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,486
I'd come up to my room,
I'd slam the door,
302
00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:17,406
and I'd do a really
angry river dance.
303
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,066
I can't believe Vince.
304
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:23,566
What kind of person
leads someone on like that,
305
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:27,066
making all sorts of promises
he never planned on keeping?
306
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,566
Yeah.
307
00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:29,946
Kind of sounds like
someone else you know.
308
00:12:29,947 --> 00:12:31,906
Who?
309
00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:33,276
Your father.
310
00:12:33,277 --> 00:12:35,236
Oh, you are way off
on this, okay?
311
00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:37,566
Everything isn't daddy issues.
312
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,356
No, with you it's
mostly mommy issues.
313
00:12:39,357 --> 00:12:40,906
This is kind of
a nice change of pace.
314
00:12:43,147 --> 00:12:44,526
Look, Mol, I promise you,
315
00:12:44,527 --> 00:12:46,236
this-this deal between
me and Vince
316
00:12:46,237 --> 00:12:48,606
has nothing to do
with me and my dad.
317
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:50,816
Although, they are both liars,
318
00:12:50,817 --> 00:12:53,066
and they both reek
of Aqua Velva.
319
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:56,236
And they both promised
to take you fishing.
320
00:12:56,237 --> 00:12:58,066
And never did.
321
00:12:58,067 --> 00:13:00,527
Is that why you made up
the stories about your dad?
322
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,987
I guess I just
wanted those to be true.
323
00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:09,697
Sure as hell beats the real one.
324
00:13:11,487 --> 00:13:13,567
Well, I want to hear
the real ones.
325
00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:17,316
What's to say?
326
00:13:17,317 --> 00:13:21,066
I walked in on him one day
and he was packing his suitcase.
327
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,406
I said, "Where you going?"
328
00:13:22,407 --> 00:13:25,736
He said, "I'll be back
tomorrow to take you fishing."
329
00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:28,776
So I woke up early,
and I got my pole,
330
00:13:28,777 --> 00:13:32,906
and I waited for him
on the porch.
331
00:13:32,907 --> 00:13:34,107
But he never came.
332
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:39,446
Turns out that was the day
that he skipped out on us.
333
00:13:39,447 --> 00:13:41,486
I just sat there
waiting to go fishing,
334
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,027
like a chump.
335
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:46,817
I guess I'm still waiting.
336
00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:51,646
You know what?
337
00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:54,406
Just saying
that and getting it out...
338
00:13:54,407 --> 00:13:55,816
I feel better.
339
00:13:55,817 --> 00:13:56,816
I don't.
340
00:13:56,817 --> 00:13:57,816
Oh, Molly.
341
00:13:57,817 --> 00:13:59,106
Oh, no, no.
342
00:13:59,107 --> 00:14:00,906
No.
343
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:01,906
Are you okay?
344
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,146
Well, I mean,
345
00:14:03,147 --> 00:14:04,146
you're just a little boy,
and you're sitting there
346
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,527
with your little
sad fishing pole.
347
00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:09,737
You need a hug?
348
00:14:13,907 --> 00:14:15,566
Does someone need
to river dance?
349
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,146
Maybe later.
350
00:14:19,147 --> 00:14:20,147
- Okay.
- Yeah.
351
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,316
Why the hell's
my mom's car on the lawn?
352
00:14:29,317 --> 00:14:31,026
Did you say something to her?
353
00:14:31,027 --> 00:14:32,236
Uh, you know,
354
00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,986
we exchanged our usual
pleasantries.
355
00:14:33,987 --> 00:14:35,946
I might've mentioned Vince
356
00:14:35,947 --> 00:14:38,566
and, you know, maybe the boat,
357
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:40,696
and Vince might've broken
your heart with the boat.
358
00:14:40,697 --> 00:14:42,906
- Oh, God!
- I didn't know!
359
00:14:42,907 --> 00:14:45,776
All the boy wanted to do
was go fishing.
360
00:14:45,777 --> 00:14:47,236
It may not
seem important to you,
361
00:14:47,237 --> 00:14:48,776
but it was important to him.
362
00:14:48,777 --> 00:14:50,446
I know that now.
You made that very clear.
363
00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:52,906
Do you have any idea
how hard it is
364
00:14:52,907 --> 00:14:54,566
to be both mother
and father to him.
365
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:57,446
I had to teach him how to shave,
and slow dance.
366
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,946
You did a remarkable job
with both those things.
367
00:15:00,947 --> 00:15:02,906
Mike, do you think
you should jump in there?
368
00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:06,026
Eh, she drove
all the way over here.
369
00:15:06,027 --> 00:15:08,026
I don't know.
I've never had kids.
370
00:15:08,027 --> 00:15:09,276
That you know of!
371
00:15:09,277 --> 00:15:11,146
And if you did,
they'd be swimming around
372
00:15:11,147 --> 00:15:14,406
in the shallow end
of the gene pool!
373
00:15:14,407 --> 00:15:16,406
You know what? It's actually
pretty entertaining
374
00:15:16,407 --> 00:15:19,196
when she's not yelling at me.
375
00:15:19,197 --> 00:15:21,526
Mother Biggs, all I did
was sell a boat.
376
00:15:21,527 --> 00:15:23,856
This has nothing
to do with the boat.
377
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:26,356
This is between you and me.
378
00:15:26,357 --> 00:15:27,946
I-I think you
might be projecting now.
379
00:15:27,947 --> 00:15:28,946
Oh, I'm gonna project you
380
00:15:28,947 --> 00:15:30,316
through that glass cabinet!
381
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:32,316
- Okay, it's getting violent.
- Oh!
382
00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:33,486
We should get in there.
383
00:15:33,487 --> 00:15:35,107
No, no, no, Mike,
it's just getting good!
384
00:15:36,407 --> 00:15:39,236
I'm gonna rip the last
five hairs out of your head!
385
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,606
Oh, get him!
386
00:15:49,777 --> 00:15:50,776
Hey.
387
00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:51,776
Hey.
388
00:15:51,777 --> 00:15:53,106
Listen, big guy,
389
00:15:53,107 --> 00:15:54,986
I-I've been feeling bad
about the whole boat thing.
390
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:56,736
Oh, hey, look,
don't worry about it, okay?
391
00:15:56,737 --> 00:15:58,066
I got carried away.
392
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,406
It's over.
393
00:15:59,407 --> 00:16:02,316
I know, but I like the time
we spent together on it.
394
00:16:02,317 --> 00:16:04,316
Hey, I was thinking maybe you
and I could go in the backyard
395
00:16:04,317 --> 00:16:06,356
and toss the ol' pigskin around.
396
00:16:06,357 --> 00:16:07,736
I'm good.
397
00:16:07,737 --> 00:16:09,816
You sure?
'Cause we could do something else.
398
00:16:09,817 --> 00:16:12,356
Mini-golf, a batting cage.
399
00:16:12,357 --> 00:16:13,566
Oh, I saw in the paper
400
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,356
that the Harlem Globetrotters
are in town.
401
00:16:15,357 --> 00:16:17,737
I hear the new Curly's a broad.
402
00:16:18,817 --> 00:16:21,356
Bald head and everything.
403
00:16:21,357 --> 00:16:22,406
Look, Vince, seriously,
404
00:16:22,407 --> 00:16:23,986
you don't have to do all
this, okay?
405
00:16:23,987 --> 00:16:26,486
I'm-I'm fine.
Just let it go.
406
00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:27,566
All right.
407
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:28,906
I won't bother you.
408
00:16:28,907 --> 00:16:30,486
Enjoy your paper.
409
00:16:30,487 --> 00:16:32,316
Uh, um, I'm gonna take off.
410
00:16:32,317 --> 00:16:34,026
Oh, if Joyce asks,
411
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:37,277
just tell her I went to DQ
to get a dipped cone.
412
00:16:46,357 --> 00:16:49,736
Ho! Do I know my boy?
Come for that.
413
00:16:49,737 --> 00:16:52,196
All right, now this is
about the ice cream,
414
00:16:52,197 --> 00:16:53,356
and nothing else.
415
00:16:53,357 --> 00:16:54,566
You got it, champ.
416
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:55,906
And if you lied
about that dipped cone,
417
00:16:55,907 --> 00:16:57,527
you're a dead man.
418
00:17:08,087 --> 00:17:09,536
Come on, please?
419
00:17:09,537 --> 00:17:11,706
No!
420
00:17:11,707 --> 00:17:12,706
I can't sleep.
421
00:17:12,707 --> 00:17:13,706
Now that you told me
you could do it,
422
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:14,826
it's all I can think about.
423
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:16,957
Well, it's not gonna happen.
424
00:17:17,877 --> 00:17:18,876
That's not fair.
425
00:17:18,877 --> 00:17:20,246
You walked in on me doing it.
426
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,416
Well, who's fault is that?
427
00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:23,247
You should've locked the door.
428
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,826
Please?
Don't make me beg.
429
00:17:27,997 --> 00:17:29,626
Fine.
430
00:17:29,627 --> 00:17:30,626
If you brag to your friends
about it,
431
00:17:30,627 --> 00:17:32,086
I am never doing it again.
432
00:17:32,087 --> 00:17:33,339
I won't say a word.
433
00:17:35,917 --> 00:17:39,036
Oh my God! It's even cuter
than I thought!
434
00:17:39,037 --> 00:17:40,706
It's actually really cathartic.
435
00:17:47,009 --> 00:17:51,232
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/