1
00:00:01,762 --> 00:00:03,883
Can't believe*
2
00:00:03,884 --> 00:00:06,072
♪
3
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:08,408
Okay? You owe me.
And no foot rubs.
4
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,711
I want cold, hard cash.
5
00:00:10,712 --> 00:00:11,812
All right, come on, come on now.
6
00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:13,347
She just says she has
a surprise for me.
7
00:00:13,348 --> 00:00:14,748
Just roll with it.
(doorbell rings)
8
00:00:14,749 --> 00:00:16,082
That last time she said that,
9
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:18,251
she had us come over and look
at a stain on her carpet
10
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,252
that she thought looked like Jesus.
11
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,688
Yeah, that was ridiculous.
12
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,690
At best, I was seeing
Kenny Loggins.
13
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,893
About time.
14
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,446
What'd you bring her for?
It's not Sunday.
15
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:33,632
- WOMAN: Is that my boy?
- Kay?!
16
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,204
Meatball!
Get in here.
17
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,408
(laughs)
18
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,942
Oh, it's been years.
How you been?
19
00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,612
Ah, you know me.
Give me a passport,
20
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:49,015
a plane ticket and clean
panties, I'm good to go.
21
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:50,383
Oh, Kay, you're awful.
22
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,952
The nuns at school used
to beat her blue for that mouth.
23
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:57,490
Ah, yeah, well, they broke a lot of
rulers, but they never broke me.
24
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,324
And-and who is this?
25
00:00:59,326 --> 00:01:02,428
Meatball's got himself
a little girlfriend?
26
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,796
This is Molly.
27
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,898
My wife.
28
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,567
Mom never told you?
29
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:11,670
Well, I didn't want to bother her
if it turned out to be nothing.
30
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,841
I-I don't go around
bragging about you, either.
31
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,477
Boy, you must've been pretty strong
32
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,713
to pry him
out of her cold, dead hands.
33
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,015
Bring it in, Mrs. Meatball.
34
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,083
Oh, okay.
35
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,552
Oh, we got a hugger!
36
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:29,020
So, Kay, how long you
in town for this time?
37
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,523
Ah, just the week.
My mom passed,
38
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,491
so I have to make
all the arrangements.
39
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:33,558
Oh, I'm sorry.
40
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,494
Ah, don't be; She and I had
kind of a rocky relationship.
41
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,799
"Rocky"? She attacked you
with a meat cleaver.
42
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,535
Thank God she passed out drunk
on her backswing.
43
00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,069
(laughs)
44
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:47,873
The, uh, mother-daughter stuff
can be kind of complicated.
45
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,208
Yeah, that's the truth.
46
00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:52,611
Anyway, I'm just here
to make sure she's dead.
47
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,915
And to, uh, see my godson here
48
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,318
and meet his lovely bride.
Aw.
49
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:03,322
Wow. You two are just so cute,
I could just eat you up.
50
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:04,423
(laughs)
51
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,925
(growls)
52
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:06,892
(laughs)
53
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,260
Give me some of that sugar!
54
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,229
(all laughing)
55
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,063
Hey, get over here, Peg!
56
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,166
I'm good.
57
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,601
Yeah, that's right. I forgot.
58
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,168
You weren't much of a hugger.
59
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,838
Unless it involved a boy
and the backseat of a car.
60
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:22,373
Kay, they don't need
to hear all that.
61
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,609
Yeah, we really don't.
62
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:27,279
Hey, what ever happened
to that kid with the short arm
63
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,048
who'd give you 50 cents
to punch him in the onions?
64
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,150
Rusty?
65
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,384
He's a city alderman.
66
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:35,386
Still got a short arm,
still comes sniffing around.
67
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,022
(laughs) You slut!
68
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,957
Call me what you will.
69
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,292
At least there's no
potholes on my street.
70
00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:47,466
She just called your mom a slut.
71
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,419
I love her.
72
00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:54,906
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
73
00:02:54,907 --> 00:02:57,843
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
74
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:01,279
♪ For the first time in my life ♪
75
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,514
♪ I see love ♪
76
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:07,753
♪ I see love ♪
77
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,280
♪ I see love ♪
78
00:03:09,281 --> 00:03:13,345
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
79
00:03:19,995 --> 00:03:21,163
MIKE: One.
KAY: One.
80
00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:22,330
This doesn't seem safe.
81
00:03:22,331 --> 00:03:23,498
Two.
Two.
82
00:03:23,499 --> 00:03:24,633
Ah, don't worry about it.
83
00:03:24,634 --> 00:03:26,134
They've been doing it
since he was little.
84
00:03:26,135 --> 00:03:27,302
Three!
Three!
85
00:03:27,303 --> 00:03:28,536
(grunts)
86
00:03:28,538 --> 00:03:32,274
Oh, you've gotten a lot better
since you were 12!
87
00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:33,542
(laughs) You beat a boy.
88
00:03:33,543 --> 00:03:35,209
Let's see if you can beat a man.
89
00:03:35,211 --> 00:03:39,080
Yeah, well, when one shows up,
I'll take him on.
90
00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:41,783
Whoa!
91
00:03:41,784 --> 00:03:44,085
Yeah! Yeah!
92
00:03:44,086 --> 00:03:45,487
MIKE: Damn it!
93
00:03:45,488 --> 00:03:47,055
Best out of three!
94
00:03:47,056 --> 00:03:48,189
Oh, walk it off, Meatball.
95
00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:49,479
She's too good.
96
00:03:51,092 --> 00:03:53,361
Kay was our high school
leg wrestling champ.
97
00:03:53,362 --> 00:03:56,231
She even beat Sister Carmelina.
98
00:03:56,232 --> 00:03:57,499
I had to.
99
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,567
The old penguin wouldn't give me
a recommendation
100
00:03:59,568 --> 00:04:01,703
to Berkeley until I pinned her.
101
00:04:01,704 --> 00:04:03,304
(laughs)
102
00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:04,372
You went to Berkeley?
103
00:04:04,373 --> 00:04:05,740
Class of '71.
104
00:04:05,741 --> 00:04:07,775
Wow. It was eye of the storm.
105
00:04:07,776 --> 00:04:09,410
Protests and sit-ins.
106
00:04:09,411 --> 00:04:11,945
That's... that must've
been so exciting.
107
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:15,183
That's what I hear.
I don't remember much of it.
108
00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:19,853
The only thing I took more than acid
was a police baton to the head.
109
00:04:19,855 --> 00:04:21,923
Oh, you know, uh, in...
when I was in college,
110
00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:23,658
I took an Ultimate Frisbee
to the head.
111
00:04:23,659 --> 00:04:25,860
There's, like, a good,
you know, 45 minutes
112
00:04:25,861 --> 00:04:28,529
that just are completely blank.
113
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:29,764
You get it.
114
00:04:29,765 --> 00:04:31,466
That's exactly why
I took up photography.
115
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:33,267
I mean, it just sort of helps you
116
00:04:33,268 --> 00:04:35,903
piece together
what you did the day before.
117
00:04:35,904 --> 00:04:37,737
(laughs)
118
00:04:37,739 --> 00:04:39,474
Kay started working
for National Geographic
119
00:04:39,475 --> 00:04:40,807
right after the Peace Corps.
120
00:04:40,809 --> 00:04:42,243
National Geographic? Oh, my...
121
00:04:42,244 --> 00:04:45,112
I-I have been collecting that
since I was 13.
122
00:04:45,113 --> 00:04:48,849
I mean, that-that's why we can't
even park in the garage.
123
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:51,552
She'd send me letters
from all over the world.
124
00:04:51,553 --> 00:04:54,155
The first naked lady
I ever saw was a picture
125
00:04:54,156 --> 00:04:56,756
Kay took of a tribe
in the rain forest.
126
00:04:56,758 --> 00:04:59,493
Who knew an old Kayapo woman
washing her clothes
127
00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:02,697
in the river would usher you
into manhood?
128
00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:04,330
(laughs)
129
00:05:04,332 --> 00:05:08,034
Hey, is that why you made me
hand wash your sweaters?
130
00:05:08,036 --> 00:05:09,476
Maybe.
131
00:05:11,639 --> 00:05:15,643
Kay has seen every inch
of this filthy planet.
132
00:05:15,644 --> 00:05:18,145
Yeah, there's only one place
I wouldn't dare go back to.
133
00:05:18,146 --> 00:05:18,913
Somalia?
134
00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:20,195
Florida.
135
00:05:22,316 --> 00:05:23,350
Awful place.
136
00:05:23,351 --> 00:05:25,452
Mickey Mouse, meth and mullets.
137
00:05:25,453 --> 00:05:28,488
Let the Cubans have it.
138
00:05:28,490 --> 00:05:31,124
So, what's on the
docket for tomorrow?
139
00:05:31,126 --> 00:05:33,193
Well, in the morning,
I got to be there when they run
140
00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:34,795
Mom's carcass
through the incinerator.
141
00:05:34,796 --> 00:05:39,999
Then, to keep the party going, I
thought I'd hit the Art Institute.
142
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,869
Glad I'm working. Art museums.
143
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:45,679
Just a way for perverts to look
at nude babies with wings.
144
00:05:47,407 --> 00:05:49,109
Oh, Peg, the world changes.
145
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:50,433
You never do.
146
00:05:51,945 --> 00:05:53,146
You know, I'm free tomorrow
147
00:05:53,147 --> 00:05:55,094
if you're looking
for somebody to tag along.
148
00:05:55,095 --> 00:05:58,217
I thought you had to stay home
and pretend to write your book.
149
00:05:59,987 --> 00:06:00,988
You're a writer?
150
00:06:00,989 --> 00:06:02,855
(scoffs)
151
00:06:02,857 --> 00:06:05,225
Yeah, aspiring author, yes.
152
00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:06,693
Well, why don't you come with me.
153
00:06:06,694 --> 00:06:08,628
We'll look at paintings
and I'll give you
154
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,196
some stories to write about.
155
00:06:10,198 --> 00:06:12,732
Seriously? I would...
I would love that.
156
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:14,434
Well, let's iron out the details
in the morning.
157
00:06:14,435 --> 00:06:15,869
And, uh, wear
some comfortable shoes.
158
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,004
I like to cover a lot of ground.
159
00:06:18,005 --> 00:06:19,372
So do I.
160
00:06:19,373 --> 00:06:22,542
Oh, it's like...
it's like we're the same person.
161
00:06:22,543 --> 00:06:26,713
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have
urgent business to the south.
162
00:06:26,714 --> 00:06:30,216
I got to meet a man
at Marwar Junction.
163
00:06:30,218 --> 00:06:31,651
I love Kay.
164
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:34,720
She's got the greatest expressions
for going to the can.
165
00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:37,723
Is that what that meant?
166
00:06:37,725 --> 00:06:39,559
Oh, God, she even makes
going to the bathroom
167
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:42,261
sound like an adventure.
168
00:06:42,263 --> 00:06:43,763
See? Aren't you glad you came
169
00:06:43,764 --> 00:06:46,333
and met Kay instead of
faking that migraine?
170
00:06:46,334 --> 00:06:48,801
I really am.
171
00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:50,770
Just so you know,
Kay doesn't really want you
172
00:06:50,771 --> 00:06:52,671
to tag along with her
to the museum.
173
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,106
Well, she invited me.
Yeah.
174
00:06:54,108 --> 00:06:57,309
Don't you understand when someone's
just trying to be polite?
175
00:06:57,311 --> 00:06:59,178
Not in this house.
176
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:01,980
She's here a week.
177
00:07:01,982 --> 00:07:03,148
Yeah, and you're working.
178
00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:04,917
She's my friend.
179
00:07:04,919 --> 00:07:06,585
Go find your own.
180
00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:11,891
You know, I really think I am
starting to get a headache.
181
00:07:11,892 --> 00:07:13,793
Where do those migraines start?
182
00:07:13,794 --> 00:07:15,994
Right there.
183
00:07:19,699 --> 00:07:21,934
This Kay sounds great.
I'd love to meet her.
184
00:07:21,935 --> 00:07:24,102
I'd love to be her.
Oh.
185
00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,038
What makes her so special?
186
00:07:26,039 --> 00:07:29,875
She's just full of life, and she's
traveled all over the world.
187
00:07:29,877 --> 00:07:32,244
So did I.
I was a flight attendant.
188
00:07:32,246 --> 00:07:35,781
You didn't explore the jungle,
you explored airport bars.
189
00:07:35,782 --> 00:07:36,816
Hey.
190
00:07:36,817 --> 00:07:39,285
Those bars can be
just as dangerous.
191
00:07:39,286 --> 00:07:43,055
There's creepy predators,
exotic diseases.
192
00:07:43,056 --> 00:07:46,124
And either place
you're gonna get bushwhacked.
193
00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:49,629
I-I'm just saying,
you get to meet a woman
194
00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:53,232
like Kay once in a lifetime, and I'm
not gonna pass up an opportunity
195
00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:54,532
to spend the day with her.
196
00:07:54,534 --> 00:07:56,835
So you're still
going to the museum?
197
00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:57,969
Yeah, why wouldn't I?
198
00:07:57,971 --> 00:08:01,005
Because it's pretty obvious my
mother doesn't want you to go.
199
00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:02,640
Oh, you're being silly.
I'm being smart.
200
00:08:02,642 --> 00:08:05,210
The last thing you want to do
is get on her bad side.
201
00:08:05,212 --> 00:08:07,480
Is there a good side?
202
00:08:07,481 --> 00:08:09,882
Yes, and believe it
or not, you're on it.
203
00:08:09,883 --> 00:08:12,784
Your tires aren't slashed,
no dog turds in the mailbox,
204
00:08:12,786 --> 00:08:15,688
and the women at her church
don't think you have syphilis.
205
00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:16,888
Oh, God!
206
00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,424
Why do you think that amazing house
207
00:08:18,425 --> 00:08:21,025
across the street from
her gets sold every year?
208
00:08:21,027 --> 00:08:22,393
I thought it was black mold.
209
00:08:22,395 --> 00:08:24,254
She's the black mold.
210
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:28,367
Please, just leave Kay alone.
211
00:08:28,368 --> 00:08:30,402
But we...
Ah-da-da-da-da! Ah!
212
00:08:30,403 --> 00:08:33,705
Make good choices.
213
00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:38,010
This is stupid.
214
00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:40,645
A grown woman telling me
who I can't be friends with.
215
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:43,581
Maybe Peggy and Kay
are more than friends.
216
00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:44,916
What?
217
00:08:44,918 --> 00:08:46,985
You said they went to
an all-girls school.
218
00:08:46,986 --> 00:08:52,357
Dorm full of pubescent teens,
brimming with sexual curiosity.
219
00:08:52,358 --> 00:08:54,560
Lights go out.
220
00:08:54,561 --> 00:08:56,727
A gentle hand reaches over.
221
00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,748
Caressing your red hair.
222
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:06,570
Telling you you're pretty
when no one else will.
223
00:09:06,572 --> 00:09:07,905
Mom?
224
00:09:07,907 --> 00:09:09,775
I'm just trying to help
Molly make sense
225
00:09:09,776 --> 00:09:12,910
of a confusing time
in a girl's life.
226
00:09:12,912 --> 00:09:15,096
No, this is confusing!
227
00:09:16,414 --> 00:09:18,316
God, I'm calling Kay.
228
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:19,284
That's the spirit.
229
00:09:19,285 --> 00:09:21,186
Fight for your woman.
No...
230
00:09:21,187 --> 00:09:22,354
It's not like that.
231
00:09:22,355 --> 00:09:24,322
I just... I want to go see some art
232
00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:27,158
with one of the most interesting
women I have ever met.
233
00:09:27,159 --> 00:09:29,728
Mike might be afraid
of his mother, but I am not.
234
00:09:29,729 --> 00:09:32,731
(phone ringing)
235
00:09:32,732 --> 00:09:33,998
Hello?
236
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,233
(deep voice): Wrong number.
237
00:09:41,673 --> 00:09:43,007
You know I love my wife.
Mm-hmm.
238
00:09:43,008 --> 00:09:44,909
But the more you tell her
not to do something,
239
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:46,478
the more she's gonna do it.
240
00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:49,179
Uh, Molly has to know
three women can't get along.
241
00:09:49,181 --> 00:09:50,482
I mean, with guys, it works.
242
00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:52,383
Three Musketeers,
Three Stooges, us.
243
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,718
It's magical.
244
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,254
You know why it works with guys?
245
00:09:56,255 --> 00:10:00,190
Because Curly doesn't care if
Moe takes Larry to the museum.
246
00:10:00,192 --> 00:10:03,460
It's a friendship,
not a competition.
247
00:10:03,462 --> 00:10:04,696
In a perfect world.
248
00:10:04,697 --> 00:10:05,930
What are you talking about?
249
00:10:05,931 --> 00:10:07,799
Carl, please. You'd
be horribly jealous
250
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,866
if Mike and I did
something without you.
251
00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:12,070
(laughs) No, I wouldn't.
252
00:10:12,071 --> 00:10:14,739
(laughs)
253
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:17,867
Have you done something without me?
254
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:23,456
Mike, we can't keep living
this lie.
255
00:10:25,216 --> 00:10:28,019
We went bowling.
No big deal.
256
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:30,854
One time. It-it just happened.
257
00:10:30,856 --> 00:10:33,691
(sniffs) I see.
258
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,458
You can't be mad.
No, I'm not.
259
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,029
The two of you went out, you had
some fun. I'm happy for you.
260
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:38,896
Really?
261
00:10:38,897 --> 00:10:40,363
Of course.
262
00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:42,566
(exhales) That's a
relief, because...
263
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:44,644
Don't you touch me.
264
00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:49,874
(laughs): You did not.
265
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:51,108
Well, I broke
a couple of commandments,
266
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,977
but, I mean, you got to do
what you got to do
267
00:10:52,978 --> 00:10:54,678
to get out of a Turkish prison.
268
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:58,849
Oh, my God. I once showed my cleavage
to get away from mall security,
269
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,619
so I think we've both done
things we're not so proud of.
270
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,553
(both laugh)
271
00:11:03,555 --> 00:11:05,256
You know, I'm so glad
you called this morning,
272
00:11:05,257 --> 00:11:06,624
but when I-I answered the phone,
273
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,858
it sounded like you had
an English accent.
274
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:10,793
(English accent): Did I? (laughs)
275
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,597
This is one of the best
collections I've seen.
276
00:11:13,598 --> 00:11:14,765
Yeah.
277
00:11:14,766 --> 00:11:17,467
I mean, the best
that's been legally obtained.
278
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:18,702
What does that mean?
279
00:11:18,703 --> 00:11:22,106
Fidel Castro had
amazing taste in stolen art.
280
00:11:22,107 --> 00:11:23,073
What?
281
00:11:23,074 --> 00:11:25,508
But for a Latin,
he was a lousy lover.
282
00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,344
Oh, my God, there
are so many things
283
00:11:27,345 --> 00:11:30,581
about that sentence
that you need to explain to me.
284
00:11:30,582 --> 00:11:32,983
Well, pace yourself. I
got a lot more stories,
285
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,218
we got a lot more art to see.
286
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:37,921
Before we do that, I need to
sit down with Georgia O'Keeffe
287
00:11:37,922 --> 00:11:39,623
and have a wee chat.
288
00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:42,759
I'm sorry, but I love it when
you have to go to the bathroom.
289
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,728
(both laugh) Oh, you know what,
290
00:11:44,729 --> 00:11:46,763
let's go up to the third
floor; There's one up there.
291
00:11:46,764 --> 00:11:49,232
And then we can catch
the Americana exhibit.
292
00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:50,467
(chuckles)
293
00:11:50,468 --> 00:11:52,235
(elevator bell dings)
294
00:11:52,236 --> 00:11:54,938
Oh...
295
00:11:54,939 --> 00:11:57,039
Miss me?
296
00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:59,427
(English accent): Bloody hell.
297
00:12:08,903 --> 00:12:11,772
All right, ladies,
here's your coffee. Fuel up.
298
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,008
We still have all of the
expressionists to explore.
299
00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:16,711
I just wish that The Scream was
here. That's really my favorite.
300
00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:18,112
Oh. You want
to hear something cool?
301
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,346
Hmm?
302
00:12:19,348 --> 00:12:20,748
The reddish sky
that Munch painted...
303
00:12:20,749 --> 00:12:21,882
Yeah.
304
00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:24,352
...was inspired
by the eruption of Krakatoa.
305
00:12:24,353 --> 00:12:26,654
No, I did not know that.
306
00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:32,325
I swear, being with you is like
taking a master class in awesome.
307
00:12:32,327 --> 00:12:35,421
Kay, remember that volcano
we made in eighth grade?
308
00:12:37,331 --> 00:12:41,035
You know, um, several summers
ago, I was in Naples
309
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:43,504
when Vesuvius was
just spewing lava,
310
00:12:43,505 --> 00:12:45,139
and we had just come from Pompeii.
311
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,408
Ah, don't you adore Naples?
Oh.
312
00:12:47,409 --> 00:12:50,110
I mean, it's full
of dwarves and hunchbacks
313
00:12:50,111 --> 00:12:51,779
and the best pizza in the world.
314
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:53,447
Oh... Pizzeria Brandi.
315
00:12:53,448 --> 00:12:54,982
(gasps) Molto bene.
316
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,450
Oh, que bella.
(chuckles)
317
00:12:57,452 --> 00:13:01,521
If you two are gonna keep speaking
SpaghettiOs, I'm leaving.
318
00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:03,957
(chuckles) Peg, take it easy.
319
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:05,125
Don't you see what she's doing?
320
00:13:05,126 --> 00:13:07,060
She's trying to take you from me.
321
00:13:07,061 --> 00:13:10,564
This is Dolores Wisnicki
all over again.
322
00:13:10,565 --> 00:13:12,065
Are you still stuck on that?
323
00:13:12,066 --> 00:13:13,699
That's 50 years ago.
324
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:15,702
You don't forget a betrayal
like that.
325
00:13:15,703 --> 00:13:19,072
She came rolling into town
Class Supreme,
326
00:13:19,073 --> 00:13:22,260
and you left me behind
like a fart at a party.
327
00:13:23,377 --> 00:13:25,845
You're being ridiculous.
328
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:29,182
You know what's ridiculous
is $3.50 for a cup of coffee.
329
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,985
What?
330
00:13:31,986 --> 00:13:37,189
Did you ever think maybe it wasn't
Dolores's car that drove me away?
331
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,925
What's that supposed to mean?
332
00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:43,195
(chuckles) You know, I almost
drowned in the Amazon.
333
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,566
I've even had worms
living in my eyeballs.
334
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:50,504
But the worst pain in my ass
has been being friends with you.
335
00:13:50,505 --> 00:13:52,238
You're no walk in the park.
336
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,875
I get you one week
every three years.
337
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,109
You're like a yeast infection!
338
00:13:58,878 --> 00:14:02,615
Well, my dear,
consider yourself cured.
339
00:14:06,353 --> 00:14:10,099
You want to tell me about the
volcano in eighth grade? Okay.
340
00:14:15,595 --> 00:14:17,063
(door opens)
341
00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:19,966
What did you do?!
342
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:22,168
I didn't make good choices.
343
00:14:22,169 --> 00:14:24,036
No, you didn't!
344
00:14:24,038 --> 00:14:26,272
I'm so sorry. Honey, in one day,
you managed to destroy
345
00:14:26,273 --> 00:14:27,874
five decades of friendship
346
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:30,309
because you couldn't leave
well enough alone.
347
00:14:30,311 --> 00:14:32,045
It was just a little trip
to the museum.
348
00:14:32,046 --> 00:14:33,946
She's blowing this
out of proportion.
349
00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:36,816
It's my mother. Blowing stuff up
is what she does!
350
00:14:36,817 --> 00:14:39,052
I can talk to her.
You can't.
351
00:14:39,053 --> 00:14:40,953
You've been banished
from the house. But I haven't.
352
00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:43,956
I still get to go
all by myself. Yay!
353
00:14:43,957 --> 00:14:45,892
You know,
you were my buffer.
354
00:14:45,893 --> 00:14:49,828
Wasn't the reason I married you,
but it was a big plus!
355
00:14:49,830 --> 00:14:52,031
Listen, your mom just needs
to cool off.
356
00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:53,166
She doesn't cool off.
357
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:56,636
She keeps burning
like an underground fire!
358
00:14:56,637 --> 00:14:58,070
All right, Mike,
I will make this right.
359
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,038
Impossible!
360
00:14:59,039 --> 00:15:00,373
You're done. I'm all alone.
361
00:15:00,374 --> 00:15:02,175
No partner, no backup.
362
00:15:02,176 --> 00:15:04,210
You handed me to her on a platter.
363
00:15:04,211 --> 00:15:05,655
(groans)
364
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,722
Peggy, it's Molly.
365
00:15:16,723 --> 00:15:17,923
It's been two days.
366
00:15:17,924 --> 00:15:21,694
You have to talk to me
at some point.
367
00:15:21,695 --> 00:15:23,297
(doorbell rings)
368
00:15:25,398 --> 00:15:27,733
Peggy, please.
369
00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:31,203
Okay, I know I shouldn't have gotten
in between you and your friend,
370
00:15:31,204 --> 00:15:33,038
and I'm sorry.
371
00:15:33,039 --> 00:15:37,142
You can be mad at me all you want,
but I'm not giving up on you.
372
00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:40,478
'Cause I don't give up on family.
373
00:15:43,682 --> 00:15:45,718
Oh, come on!
374
00:15:45,719 --> 00:15:48,886
I worked on that speech all day!
375
00:15:57,563 --> 00:15:59,932
(window opens)
376
00:15:59,933 --> 00:16:01,266
(barking) Shh!
377
00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:02,367
(quietly): Shh. Be quiet.
378
00:16:02,368 --> 00:16:04,536
Ooh...
(grunts)
379
00:16:04,537 --> 00:16:06,132
Jim, what are you barking at?
380
00:16:07,372 --> 00:16:09,041
(screams)
381
00:16:09,042 --> 00:16:10,542
It's me! It's just...
382
00:16:10,543 --> 00:16:12,477
It's just me.
Oh, God.
383
00:16:12,478 --> 00:16:16,381
I thought you were Kay's dead
mother coming back to haunt me.
384
00:16:16,382 --> 00:16:17,715
I'm sorry.
385
00:16:17,717 --> 00:16:19,885
What are you doing here?
Get out of my house.
386
00:16:19,886 --> 00:16:21,753
No, not until we talk.
387
00:16:21,754 --> 00:16:24,221
You heard all I want to say
to you. Now out!
388
00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:27,058
You're running out of people
to ban from your house, Peggy.
389
00:16:27,060 --> 00:16:28,093
I don't care.
390
00:16:28,094 --> 00:16:29,161
I don't believe that.
391
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,163
I mean, I-I believe
that you never want me
392
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,265
to be in your house again, but...
393
00:16:33,266 --> 00:16:35,100
Okay, well, but about Kay?
394
00:16:35,101 --> 00:16:38,203
I mean, you're-you're just gonna
throw away 50 years of friendship?
395
00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:39,438
Watch me.
396
00:16:39,439 --> 00:16:41,973
If I can do it to a sister,
I can do it to her.
397
00:16:41,974 --> 00:16:43,208
Mike has an aunt?
398
00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:44,670
Not anymore.
399
00:16:46,444 --> 00:16:48,780
Are you through?
No. And neither is Kay.
400
00:16:48,781 --> 00:16:51,283
You know, your best friend
is at a funeral home
401
00:16:51,284 --> 00:16:53,084
saying good-bye
to her mother right now.
402
00:16:53,085 --> 00:16:54,452
And she wants you there.
403
00:16:54,453 --> 00:16:55,820
No, she doesn't.
Yes, she does.
404
00:16:55,821 --> 00:16:57,433
How do you know?
405
00:16:58,556 --> 00:17:01,759
'Cause she... told me.
406
00:17:01,761 --> 00:17:04,763
What were her exact words?
407
00:17:04,764 --> 00:17:10,071
"I want Peggy...
there."
408
00:17:11,169 --> 00:17:13,616
That does sound like her.
409
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,912
(organ playing dirge)
410
00:17:31,322 --> 00:17:32,857
What'd I tell you?
411
00:17:32,858 --> 00:17:34,725
Nobody.
412
00:17:40,732 --> 00:17:42,500
What are you doing here?
413
00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:44,669
She said you wanted me to come.
414
00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:46,237
I never said that.
415
00:17:46,238 --> 00:17:50,775
Okay, it doesn't matter who said
what or whether any of it was true.
416
00:17:50,776 --> 00:17:52,610
The important thing
is is that you're...
417
00:17:52,611 --> 00:17:54,578
you're both here together.
418
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:56,913
Take me home.
No.
419
00:17:56,915 --> 00:17:59,250
Nobody should have to say
good-bye to their mother alone.
420
00:17:59,251 --> 00:18:00,984
Go.
421
00:18:08,626 --> 00:18:12,062
I thought she'd outlive
us both just for spite.
422
00:18:13,898 --> 00:18:16,100
It's odd.
423
00:18:16,101 --> 00:18:20,036
All that hatefulness
packed into one little urn.
424
00:18:31,081 --> 00:18:33,483
I'm glad you came.
425
00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:36,786
Wouldn't be anywhere else.
426
00:18:37,588 --> 00:18:39,785
(sniffles)
427
00:18:57,425 --> 00:18:59,941
Thanks for giving Molly
another chance, Ma.
428
00:18:59,943 --> 00:19:01,744
Well, sometimes you got to learn
to forgive.
429
00:19:01,745 --> 00:19:04,113
Otherwise, you end up
with nobody at your funeral
430
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:07,563
and your ashes in a Dumpster
behind the Walgreens.
431
00:19:08,717 --> 00:19:11,819
Okay, you gonna wrestle
or just lay there?
432
00:19:11,821 --> 00:19:13,956
KAY/MOLLY: One!
Remember, Molly, it's all about balance.
433
00:19:13,957 --> 00:19:15,957
KAY/MOLLY: Two!
434
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:18,260
Come on, Kay, do her
like you done Mikey!
435
00:19:18,261 --> 00:19:19,328
KAY/MOLLY: Three!
436
00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:21,029
(grunts)
437
00:19:21,031 --> 00:19:23,931
Good God, she's strong!
438
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:27,269
I... am... Mrs. Meatball!
439
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:29,206
(whoops)
440
00:19:29,207 --> 00:19:32,955
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/