1
00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:03,060
- Yeah, baby!
- Yes.

2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:04,960
Come on now.

3
00:00:05,030 --> 00:00:07,430
- Wow.
- Clunker. Clunkville.

4
00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:09,500
- It's going on 45 minutes, guys.
- Yeah.

5
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,230
Someone make a shot, please.

6
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,470
- Yo, dude.
- Hey, ders.

7
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:15,200
Who can make a smaller face?

8
00:00:15,270 --> 00:00:17,640
- Adam.
- Thank you.

9
00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,440
- That's right, dude.
- That's nothing to be proud of.

10
00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:21,110
You owe me
a buck or two for that.

11
00:00:21,180 --> 00:00:22,910
On to more important things.

12
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:24,380
Do you guys know
what sexting is?

13
00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:26,250
Yeah, I heard of that.
Sexting, for sure.

14
00:00:26,310 --> 00:00:27,710
Okay, cool, 'cause I think.

15
00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:28,950
- I just got super deep into it.
- Really?

16
00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:30,220
Well, apparently, I met

17
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,180
some girl named Annette
last night.

18
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,290
I was pretty drunk,

19
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:34,320
so I don't really remember her,

20
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:36,490
but she's been sexting me
all morning.

21
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,060
So she goes, "what happened
to you last night?

22
00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:39,560
You bailed on me."

23
00:00:39,630 --> 00:00:40,560
Oh, that's not like you, dude.

24
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,930
- I know.
- No.

25
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,200
So I go, "sorry.
What are you doing now?"

26
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,600
She says, "nothing."

27
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,170
So I go,
"well, we're having a shindig.

28
00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:47,800
- You ought to come by."
- Yeah.

29
00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:49,640
She goes, "I'll think about it.

30
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:52,810
In the meantime,
you can think about this."

31
00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:54,770
Boom.
Whoa-ho!

32
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,780
Nipple.
Nipple shot.

33
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,040
That is a good-looking nipple,
bro.

34
00:00:58,110 --> 00:00:59,410
Totally a nipple.
Great job.

35
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,010
That's the nipple of my dreams.

36
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,380
Why don't you get her
over here, man?

37
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:03,850
Send her a pic of your dick.

38
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,120
Okay.
Um, she just sent me

39
00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:07,050
a picture of her nipple,

40
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,550
so I'm not sure...

41
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,060
Well, that's the order
of things.

42
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,860
It goes nipple, dick,
, butt hole.

43
00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:13,360
Oh, okay, all right,
well, I mean,

44
00:01:13,430 --> 00:01:14,590
I've never done...
wait, whose butt hole?

45
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,060
<i>Dude, I saw it
on dateline.</i>

46
00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:17,560
Why don't you get some blood
in that sucker?

47
00:01:17,630 --> 00:01:18,460
- Seal the deal.
- Come on, man.

48
00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:19,500
Seal the deal, dude.

49
00:01:19,570 --> 00:01:21,170
All right, I'll do it.

50
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,700
- Go handle that.
- I'm gonna seal the deal.

51
00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:23,870
Get rid of that hat.

52
00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:28,940
<i>Gq time.
Gq time.</i>

53
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:31,210
<i>Everybody, time
to get gq time.</i>

54
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:35,080
Oh, man, are you gonna have sex
with this girl, Anders?

55
00:01:35,150 --> 00:01:36,920
Oh, yeah.

56
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,450
- Man-ufique.
- Nice.

57
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,520
Oh, okay,
that's definitely illegal.

58
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:44,420
- That was good.
- Countdown to vagina town.

59
00:01:44,490 --> 00:01:46,160
- Yeah, baby!
- All right.

60
00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:47,330
Uh-huh.

61
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,860
I also washed my rear end

62
00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:50,360
in case I got to take
that picture later.

63
00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:51,730
Wow. You did that.

64
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,970
Awesome.
Great.

65
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:54,270
- Very cool.
- Whose phone is that?

66
00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:55,900
- That's cool.
- Oh, thanks.

67
00:01:55,970 --> 00:01:57,100
It's Vanessa's actually.

68
00:01:57,170 --> 00:01:58,100
She just got a text from you.

69
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,670
That's kind of weird.

70
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:03,410
Select all contacts.

71
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,980
And send.

72
00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,880
Vanessa, thanks for the phone.

73
00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:08,450
Enjoy your new wallpaper.

74
00:02:14,860 --> 00:02:15,890
That's his.
That's his dick.

75
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,220
Right here.

76
00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,890
The nipple of your dreams

77
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,390
is actually my nipple
of your nightmares.

78
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:25,060
Oh, right? Yeah.

79
00:02:25,130 --> 00:02:27,130
- Oh, that's embarrassing.
- This isn't funny.

80
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,670
There was a weird shadow.

81
00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:30,340
The lighting in the bathroom
is strange.

82
00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:34,470
♪

83
00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:35,910
♪ I'm fresh ♪

84
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,180
♪♪

85
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,410
♪ you gotta you gotta ♪

86
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,510
♪ you gotta gotta ♪

87
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:42,380
♪ gotta be fresh ♪

88
00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:44,450
Oh, nice.

89
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,920
Dude, how are you gonna get down
from the roof?

90
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:49,820
- You're gonna be hammered.
- So this is

91
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:51,290
where my friends are.

92
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,390
Hey, look who it is.

93
00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:54,490
It's dick-tembe mutombo.

94
00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:56,560
Look who it is. It's...

95
00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:59,970
Your dick is so tan, bro!

96
00:03:00,030 --> 00:03:02,770
- No.
- No? You didn't like that one?

97
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,400
You know, when you kick
a dude and he's already down,

98
00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:09,140
he's not likely to share
his blunt with you.

99
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,740
You don't smoke.

100
00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:11,810
I just bought this from a girl,

101
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,310
and I'm smoking it tonight.

102
00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:14,610
You're gonna smoke
with us, right?

103
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,880
I don't have to.

104
00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:18,220
Dude, you should be thanking us

105
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,420
because, without us,
all of those super hot chicks

106
00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:21,590
wouldn't have seen your...

107
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,190
Tan dick.

108
00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:24,160
Yeah, I heard a girl down there

109
00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,890
talking about you, man.

110
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,030
It's basically
like you're rounding third base

111
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,830
headed for home.

112
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,560
Wait, was it Vanessa?

113
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:33,000
She's got tattoos, man.
I'm into that lately.

114
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:34,070
Oh, here we go.

115
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,700
There's something about ink...

116
00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:38,340
Poop dollar!
There's poop in it!

117
00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:40,710
There's poop in the dollar!

118
00:03:40,770 --> 00:03:41,910
All right,
whose poop this time?

119
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,740
- Oh, that's all Adam.
- Gross.

120
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:47,110
It's weird how unembarrassed
I am by that.

121
00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:49,880
Come on, guys.
This is a Sunday fun day.

122
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:53,020
Let's get...
Crazy!

123
00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:55,150
Oh, yeah.

124
00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:00,460
ah-ha-ha!

125
00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:03,460
Cool.

126
00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:05,260
It's early in the morning.

127
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:08,400
I'm not gonna eat
a pepperoni pizza.

128
00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:09,900
This is the kind
of fertilizer...

129
00:04:09,970 --> 00:04:12,410
You don't want to lay down
a thick layer.

130
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:14,610
I understand
that you're in the bathtub,

131
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,810
and if you could just get out,
dry yourself off...

132
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,280
Are you guys freaking out?

133
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,810
Okay, now I am, Jillian.

134
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,120
Why don't you chill out?

135
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,480
Sorry, it's just you guys
don't at all look ready

136
00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,950
for the drug test today.

137
00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:29,390
Wait, there's a drug test
today?

138
00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,560
Yeah, I know.
I'm freaking out too.

139
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:33,560
Last night I went
to the Justin bieber concert

140
00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:36,230
with my nephew Dennis,
and this guy was smoking weed

141
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,400
right next to us.

142
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:39,070
Totally freaked me out.

143
00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:40,670
Hey, you know
what else freaked me out?

144
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,200
That picture of your dick,
Anders.

145
00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:43,870
I got it in a text.

146
00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:45,570
How didn't we know
about this drug test?

147
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,370
We smoked yesterday.

148
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,380
Dude, we smoked in the car
this morning.

149
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,910
- Alice!
- Alice!

150
00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,580
- Yo, boss lady.
- Good morning.

151
00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:55,880
Looking large and in charge.

152
00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:57,750
Minus the large, plus points

153
00:04:57,820 --> 00:04:59,990
for being cool.

154
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,550
Shut up, Adam.

155
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,090
God, I cannot believe
we are wasting our time

156
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,190
with this pointless drug test
yet again.

157
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,560
Oh, yeah, there's that today.

158
00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:08,390
We don't have a problem
with that.

159
00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:09,530
Look, you guys know
what I'm about.

160
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,260
Putting up the numbers.

161
00:05:11,330 --> 00:05:12,570
That's right.
I put up the numbers

162
00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:13,730
like you put your thumbs
up each other's butts.

163
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,900
Besides, this drug test
is a joke.

164
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:17,500
I can't have my sales force
running to the bathroom

165
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:19,470
every five minutes
like a bunch of bulimics.

166
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:20,710
You don't have
to worry about us

167
00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:23,340
because we are straight
as arrows.

168
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,510
We should be in quivers
because we're straight

169
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:27,450
like as arr... we should...

170
00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:29,720
We're archers.

171
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:32,390
Okay, look, I know what is
going on out there, okay.

172
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:33,620
But you need to grow
the "f" up!

173
00:05:33,690 --> 00:05:34,850
Speaking of growing,

174
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,360
wait till you see the boner

175
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,160
they sent over
from the testing company.

176
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,230
Knock, knock.
Is this the vip lounge?

177
00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:42,830
Oh, and there he is.

178
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,730
- Hi, guys.
- Guys, this is Robbie.

179
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,330
Yeah, Robbie.
Best test in the west.

180
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,430
He likes to say that.

181
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,100
Best test in the west Robbie.

182
00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:51,370
There he goes.

183
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:52,410
It's just a drug test,

184
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:53,770
so nothing to be scared of.

185
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,110
I'm excited.

186
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,610
What kind of drugs
are we testing?

187
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,640
What?

188
00:05:58,710 --> 00:06:01,010
- That was a joke.
- Oh, I love jokes.

189
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,520
- That's funny.
- Okay, well,

190
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,520
I'm just gonna let you guys
pal around.

191
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,820
And I'm gonna get away
from you.

192
00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:07,920
Okay.

193
00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:12,020
Bye, Alice.

194
00:06:12,090 --> 00:06:14,560
You might have her fooled,
but not me.

195
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:17,660
I recognize burnouts
when I see 'em.

196
00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:20,930
I'm a professional.
I'm a friggin' bloodhound.

197
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,370
And I can see the signs...
the glazed eyes,

198
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:27,940
the ridiculous j. Crew outfit.

199
00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:31,840
And you, strawberry shortcake,

200
00:06:31,910 --> 00:06:35,850
I can't wait to get deep
inside that urinary tract

201
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,020
of a river of pee
and just see what kind

202
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,390
of mistakes you've been making
in your own life.

203
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,420
Oh, mama,
I'm gonna have fun with you.

204
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:49,900
So, um, I'll see you guys
in a little bit.

205
00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:58,830
I found this stuff
called niacin.

206
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:01,160
It's supposed to flush
the toxins out of your system.

207
00:07:01,230 --> 00:07:03,170
I could start a fire,
burn this place down.

208
00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:04,870
One time, when I was a kid,

209
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:07,100
I literally did this
for, like, 45 minutes

210
00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:08,810
and I started a fire.

211
00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:10,870
My clubhouse went up in flames.
Feel that.

212
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,280
- That was a cool dance.
- Yeah. Thank you.

213
00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:13,880
What's your idea, dude?

214
00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:14,780
You gonna give us
some egg salad sandwiches

215
00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:16,650
out of that little cooler?

216
00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:18,850
No, I was thinking
maybe two tall glasses

217
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,950
of 100% clean urine.

218
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,520
- What?
- Yeah.

219
00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:25,260
I knew about the drug test.

220
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,060
Because they announced it
two months ago.

221
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:31,190
And me being your friend,
stocked up for you.

222
00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:32,430
'Cause you guys
are drug addicts.

223
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,300
But then you had to pull

224
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,030
yesterday's
little sexting prank.

225
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,470
And now I don't think
you deserve it.

226
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:41,570
But I'll let you earn it.

227
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,340
- Name it.
- Bear with me here.

228
00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:48,850
I thought about this
last night.

229
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,690
- Eat this.
- No. Thank you.

230
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,260
- That is danger.
- Give me the damn tile.

231
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,490
Okay, sure.
I really hate you for this.

232
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,160
- Enjoy that.
- You know

233
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:06,260
how this is gonna feel
coming out?

234
00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:07,760
- Feast.
- Probably not good.

235
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,100
It's gonna make
our butt holes bleed.

236
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,470
- Thanks.
- Chow down.

237
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,700
Ugh!

238
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:16,710
Oh, wow,
that's a big first bite.

239
00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:18,040
That's a really big first bite.

240
00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:19,640
It's so dry.

241
00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:21,540
It's like a mummy's dick.

242
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:24,210
And this guy, you better
catch up with your friend.

243
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,550
You're a real son of a bitch.

244
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,250
Speaking of ketchup,

245
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,590
get the arby-q sauce on it,
huh?

246
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:35,560
All right, you guys...
you guys have had enough.

247
00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:38,860
Uh, why don't you
just wash it down, champs?

248
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,430
- That's piss.
- That is urine.

249
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,270
- We're not gonna drink piss.
- No, thank you.

250
00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:43,800
No, no, no, this is gatorade.

251
00:08:43,870 --> 00:08:45,670
See, that's what happens
when you mess

252
00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:47,300
with the mastermind of pranks.

253
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:49,270
- Okay, wow.
- You pull a prank on me,

254
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:52,010
you get pranked back.

255
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:56,110
All right?
Here is the real piss.

256
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:57,850
And it's all mine.

257
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,720
It's all...

258
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,150
Over your face.
What?

259
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,190
- What?
- That was stupid.

260
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:06,720
You're stupid, bro.

261
00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:08,160
You've got piss
on your face, dude.

262
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,060
Adam, I had enough
for all three of us.

263
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:11,590
I was gonna let the joke
run a little longer

264
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,460
and then split it up,
but now it's gone.

265
00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:15,060
And a little bit in my mouth.

266
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,570
Why didn't you
tell me that then?

267
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,740
Because I was trying
to be cool and dramatic,

268
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,470
which you would know
nothing about.

269
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:22,040
Oh, I don't know about being
cool and dramatic, dude?

270
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:23,940
Who's saving up to buy
a motorcycle,

271
00:09:24,010 --> 00:09:25,880
a crotch rocket,
and a cool leather jacket?

272
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,310
- I am!
- I don't care.

273
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:29,010
- I can't talk to you.
- Screw you.

274
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,910
Oh, no.
What's wrong, guys?

275
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,720
You seem a little jumpy.

276
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,850
Why don't we just go ahead
and get you guys fired

277
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,890
so you can spend the rest
of the day getting all high?

278
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,720
That actually sounds awesome.

279
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:40,790
I can hear you whispering.

280
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:42,390
I know you can hear me.

281
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:43,690
I'm doing it loud enough
for you to hear me.

282
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,500
Oh, really?
Well, can you hear this?

283
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,900
- What?
- You have until 5:00

284
00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:51,530
to make with the zip,
the flop, the splash,

285
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,870
- and the boo-hoo.
- What was the flop?

286
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:57,270
The flop is the penis coming
out of the slacks or trousers.

287
00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:58,840
Oh.

288
00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:00,280
So then the boo-hoo
is just, like,

289
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:03,480
an extra, like, poop afterwards
or something?

290
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,880
I'm done with you amateurs.

291
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:06,620
I got a pee cart
coming through!

292
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:20,730
Dude, this guy is ruthless.

293
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,500
I will not move back in
with my mom.

294
00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:25,240
I will sell every drop
of my blood for money.

295
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,840
We've got an hour lunch.
We'll figure something out.

296
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:31,710
Waymond.

297
00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:33,710
Hey, Karl, what's up, brother?

298
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,250
Do you know
where we can get some niacin

299
00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:37,310
- in the next hour?
- Yo, let me drive.

300
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,820
- No.
- You have some now?

301
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:39,880
- Where you at?
- How come you always get

302
00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:41,520
to drive, dude?

303
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:42,450
Because he doesn't even have
a license,

304
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:43,750
and you have a dui.

305
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:44,850
Sweet.
We'll see you in ten.

306
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,290
So where to?

307
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,420
Our house.

308
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:48,660
You let a drug dealer

309
00:10:48,730 --> 00:10:49,760
stay in our house all day?

310
00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,830
He feeds my turtles, Anders.

311
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:55,400
- Ow. Karl.
- Hey, Karl, what's up?

312
00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,700
<i>It's almost the ending, bro.
It's die hard.</i>

313
00:10:57,770 --> 00:10:59,300
Did they just say "clucking"?

314
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:00,770
Yeah, it must be on cable,

315
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,570
so they switched
the swear words out.

316
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,380
Oh, Carl winslow.
I forgot about him.

317
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,340
Did you know that Reginald
veljohnson wasn't actually...

318
00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:08,880
Shut the cluck up.

319
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:12,450
.

320
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,960
"Come out to the coast,

321
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,990
we'll get together,
have a few laughs."

322
00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,400
It's a movie, dude.

323
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:25,900
You can't climb
through an air duct.

324
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,400
This movie's based on a book.

325
00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:28,730
Books don't lie.

326
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,570
Um, Blake,
did you need that niacin

327
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,540
for some reason, bro?

328
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,010
Oh, yeah.
Thanks, man.

329
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,740
- See ya, Karl.
- See ya.

330
00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,510
Hey, ders.

331
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:40,510
I just got that stuff
at the drug store, man.

332
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,980
That's great. Just don't touch
any of my things.

333
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:43,980
What? Why not?

334
00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,280
Because your fingernails

335
00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:47,150
are gross.

336
00:11:47,220 --> 00:11:52,020
Oh.
He is absolutely right.

337
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:54,660
It says here to take two
for results in eight hours.

338
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:58,200
That means we should take eight
for results in two.

339
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:01,430
Yup. All right,
let's crank the heat up

340
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,930
- and sweat this bitch out.
- Wait a second.

341
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,470
Guys, these aren't
flintstone vitamins.

342
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:05,600
There's probably side effects.

343
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,040
Let me see the bottle.

344
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:08,440
Yeah, see, redness,

345
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,370
itching of the skin.

346
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:11,310
You guys sweating yet or what?

347
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,780
'Cause I got swamp nuts.

348
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:13,940
Yeah, boy!

349
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,680
I'm about ready to keep my job

350
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:17,380
and get a paycheck, son.

351
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,480
- Whatever.
- You know this.

352
00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:22,420
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What if this doesn't work, man?

353
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:25,520
- We need clean piss.
- Ugh!

354
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:27,320
I had clean piss already.
Remember?

355
00:12:27,390 --> 00:12:29,660
- I had it.
- Maybe we could find somebody

356
00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:30,790
- to give us clean piss.
- How are we supposed to find

357
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:32,500
someone to give us clean piss

358
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:36,030
when everyone over the age of 12
smokes weed these days?

359
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,540
Hey, kids, you gotta go pee?

360
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:45,910
Pigtails, I'm talking to you.

361
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:47,710
We have candy.

362
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,250
Guys, guys, come on.
Look at our faces.

363
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,350
We're just scaring these kids.

364
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,120
Why don't we go somewhere

365
00:12:52,180 --> 00:12:53,380
where we can actually get
some clean piss?

366
00:12:53,450 --> 00:12:55,220
- Okay.
- Hey, I'll give you some piss.

367
00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:56,620
- You will?
- Yeah.

368
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:57,960
Maybe I need to go.

369
00:12:58,020 --> 00:12:59,290
What's in it for me, bitches?

370
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,090
Uh...

371
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,130
I have a receipt.

372
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,160
I've got $4, huh?

373
00:13:06,230 --> 00:13:08,100
I make 30 bucks a week
for allowance,.

374
00:13:08,170 --> 00:13:11,440
Okay, so what do you want?

375
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,000
I want something I can't buy.

376
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:15,440
- Okay.
- I get it.

377
00:13:15,510 --> 00:13:16,810
- All right. Sure.
- See this bag?

378
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,410
Pee into it, and wait here.

379
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,440
We'll be back.
All right?

380
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,480
- You remind me of myself.
- And watch your language.

381
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:26,450
Hey, Karl.

382
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:34,290
♪

383
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,240
Oh, definitely.

384
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:52,580
Stupid.

385
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,310
Oh. Oh.
Okay.

386
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:58,280
All right, let's get that piss.

387
00:13:58,350 --> 00:13:59,780
Let's make this fast.
I have boy scouts at 4:00.

388
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,820
- This.
- See this hard drive?

389
00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:04,490
5,000 songs, all right?

390
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,320
Wait, no, no, no.
The nookie mix is tracks

391
00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:09,030
specifically picked to bone to.

392
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,430
I don't have sex.

393
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:13,530
But you probably beat
your meat, right?

394
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,070
And this is a good one.
It's old, but it is...

395
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,170
Digital.
500 porn videos, all right.

396
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,340
That's creepy.

397
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,370
I'll take that lighter, though.

398
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,710
Uh, it's actually a zippo.

399
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,410
- Does it light cats on fire?
- Cats?

400
00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:24,940
On fire, yeah.

401
00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:27,080
- No.
- So pass.

402
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,780
- What do you got, Hermione?
- Shut up, booger face.

403
00:14:28,850 --> 00:14:30,150
I got ninja stars
and fireworks.

404
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:31,580
All right, that's what I want.

405
00:14:31,650 --> 00:14:32,880
All right, cool.

406
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,180
Pee first, booger face.

407
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,320
I'm not a booger face.

408
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:36,390
Yeah, whatever.

409
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:39,990
Hey, what are you guys doing?

410
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,660
- Go, go, go, go!
- They touched me.

411
00:14:41,730 --> 00:14:43,130
Perverts!

412
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:44,700
You got some, right?
You got some pee?

413
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:45,930
- Oh, yeah.
- All right, here, here.

414
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,700
Just put it in here.

415
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:50,430
- Here we go.
- It's not enough.

416
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:54,270
Hey, ders,
just turn the car around.

417
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:56,770
Let's go back to the office,
get it over with.

418
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,080
Yeah, all right.

419
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:04,380
Karma is for real.

420
00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:06,380
And thank you very much.

421
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:07,450
No, mom, I'm saying I might
have to borrow some money.

422
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,920
There you go.

423
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:11,360
He's awesome at peeing.

424
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:16,330
But let's see how you do.

425
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:19,030
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

426
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:22,770
Take as much time as you can.

427
00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:24,670
Hey.

428
00:15:24,740 --> 00:15:26,240
I said, "let's go."

429
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:33,140
Hey, Jillian, I got a plan.

430
00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:34,750
- Are you in?
- Hell, yeah.

431
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,280
You know it's bros before hos.

432
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:40,150
Yippee-ki-yay,
mother cluckers.

433
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,420
♪

434
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:47,820
Can I get some water?

435
00:15:47,890 --> 00:15:49,330
Yeah, I'm parched.

436
00:15:49,390 --> 00:15:50,630
Yes, fine.

437
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,560
Make it fast.

438
00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:57,400
Hey, I said fast.
Get there now!

439
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,780
"Come up to the roof,

440
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:08,580
we'll get together,
smoke a few blunts."

441
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,420
Hey, Robbie.
Hey, how's it going?

442
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:16,290
Um, listen, I wanted
to talk to you

443
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,420
about something real quick.
Is that okay?

444
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:18,490
Make it quick. Go.

445
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,690
Oh, it's totally quick.

446
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,060
I see that you're on your way

447
00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:22,790
into the bathroom,

448
00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:23,930
and you don't want
to go in there right now.

449
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,860
'Cause...

450
00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,460
It's gay time.

451
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:30,330
It's gay time in the bathroom.

452
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:35,410
And if you go in there,
then you'd be gay.

453
00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:36,940
Hey.
Twitchy.

454
00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:38,940
- Huh?
- What drugs are you on?

455
00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:40,640
Not... some... none.

456
00:16:43,510 --> 00:16:45,480
All right.
No, no, I'm gonna do her next.

457
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:57,230
All right, try not to pee
on the cup intentionally.

458
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,200
I have to touch them
afterwards.

459
00:17:04,870 --> 00:17:09,170
That's it, boys.
Just like your mama taught you.

460
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:30,730
All done?

461
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,300
No.
Not even close.

462
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,330
Hey. You're doing that
with your mouth.

463
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:47,480
Wow. That smells
like unemployment, boys.

464
00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:40,460
So what's the deal?

465
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:41,770
You gonna come back later,
get your stuff,

466
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,530
sort of do the walk of shame?

467
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,040
- Is that it?
- Yeah, something like that.

468
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,170
Okay, cool.

469
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,100
- Hey!
- Oh, no, sorry.

470
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,840
I get that too.
That's my tip.

471
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,540
- Great.
- All right.

472
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:54,210
- Enjoy that.
- I will. Bye-bye.

473
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,310
Nice doing business
with you guys.

474
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:58,220
All right, see ya.

475
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,290
Poop dollar, biotch!

476
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,790
Oh, you think
that's funny, huh?

477
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:07,490
I still have a job.

478
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,160
I'm Robbie!
I'm best in the west!

479
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:18,340
Tell me, how does one screw up

480
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,170
this badly?

481
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,940
I understand the results

482
00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:24,570
were a little off.

483
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,680
Oh. Every employee
has tested positive

484
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:29,580
Marijuana, mdma,

485
00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:32,450
pcp, hgh, Lipitor,

486
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,850
Adderall, dayquil, nyquil...

487
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,750
Why would anyone take both?

488
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:39,660
Nitrous oxide, benzedrine,
Valtrex, Flomax,

489
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,520
Cialis, and birth control.

490
00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:43,460
Thanks for bringing
that up, buddy.

491
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,960
I can't have kids.
Don't need birth control.

492
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:47,200
- I didn't know.
- Look, I want you

493
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,630
to get on your hobby cart

494
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,300
and ride your ass
out of this office

495
00:19:50,370 --> 00:19:51,770
before I grab Orlando's vacuum

496
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,470
and I shove it up your ass
on full suction.

497
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,670
It was great doing business
with you.

498
00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:58,340
Jillian!

499
00:19:58,410 --> 00:20:00,310
Hi.
How can I help?

500
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,080
Shut up.
I need you to draft an email

501
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:05,520
to all employees apologizing
for today's drug test.

502
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,220
The results were inconclusive,

503
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,590
and we're gonna have
a new round tomorrow.

504
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:11,890
Just a strand of hair.

505
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,120
Why are you still staring
at me?

506
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,390
I'm sorry about the kid thing.
I couldn't help...

507
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,700
Why aren't you typing?

508
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,230
I can't have pets
in my apartment building.

509
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,470
So...
Right.

510
00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:25,470
Email. Hair.
Got it.

511
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:26,640
Whoo!

512
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:27,970
She had a space nut

513
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,340
like a cosmonaut

514
00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:30,510
whatcha know about me being

515
00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:31,940
the cosmo robot.

516
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:33,980
- Whoa.
- ♪ Da da da da da ♪

517
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:37,080
♪ da da da da da ♪

518
00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:39,080
♪ I got a phone
with capabilities ♪

519
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,450
♪ if I get another email ♪

520
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,090
♪ it's the end of me ♪

521
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,790
Damn it.

522
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,690
Nice.

523
00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:51,690
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com