1
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,617
The other day, I found out
2
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:18,136
"America the Beautiful"
makes her poop faster.
3
00:01:18,137 --> 00:01:19,020
Hey, guys,
4
00:01:19,021 --> 00:01:19,988
check it out.
5
00:01:19,989 --> 00:01:21,356
I taught Hope a trick.
6
00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:30,782
She's crawling.
7
00:01:33,119 --> 00:01:34,652
I taught her how to crawl.
8
00:01:34,653 --> 00:01:36,204
Are you kidding me?
9
00:01:36,205 --> 00:01:37,789
We're all exhausted
10
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,541
taking care of
that baby as it is.
11
00:01:39,542 --> 00:01:40,909
You taught it to move?
12
00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:42,460
Good Lord.
13
00:01:42,461 --> 00:01:44,963
Hope she doesn't get into
things the way you used to.
14
00:01:44,964 --> 00:01:47,382
♪ Take me back
to Constantinople ♪
15
00:01:47,383 --> 00:01:50,969
♪ No, you can't go back
to Constantinople ♪
16
00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:53,721
♪ Now it's Istanbul,
not Constantinople ♪
17
00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:56,307
♪ Why did Constantinople
get the works? ♪
18
00:01:56,308 --> 00:01:58,977
♪ That's nobody's business
but the Turks ♪
19
00:01:59,177 --> 00:02:09,377
Sync by Jeska
www.addic7ed.com
20
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,625
We're gonna have to do
21
00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:15,627
some serious baby-proofing
around here.
22
00:02:15,628 --> 00:02:16,961
Ugh, God!
23
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,413
Don't tell me you're
going to turn this house
24
00:02:18,414 --> 00:02:20,965
into one of those baby-
proofing nightmares.
25
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,750
I was cleaning a place the
other day, and they even had
26
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,469
a lock on the damn toilet.
27
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:25,870
♪ Not Constantinople ♪
28
00:02:25,871 --> 00:02:29,390
♪ Why did Constantinople get
the works? ♪
29
00:02:29,391 --> 00:02:33,811
♪ That's nobody's business
but the Turks ♪
30
00:02:33,812 --> 00:02:38,733
♪ Istanbul... ♪
31
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:41,069
I'm in here!
32
00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:44,555
Jimmy, you can't protect your
child from every little danger.
33
00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:46,574
They have to learn
from their own mistakes.
34
00:02:46,575 --> 00:02:48,576
Yeah, like how I learned
to jump off the roof
35
00:02:48,577 --> 00:02:49,694
with an umbrella?
36
00:02:49,695 --> 00:02:51,562
Once, and then
you never did it again.
37
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:52,580
Plus, you learned about gravity.
38
00:02:52,581 --> 00:02:54,199
What I learned
39
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,001
was I need to protect my child
better than you protected me.
40
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,086
For the record, I thought
41
00:02:58,087 --> 00:02:59,821
that umbrella thing
was going to work.
42
00:02:59,822 --> 00:03:02,740
Wind was really humming
that day.
43
00:03:02,741 --> 00:03:04,092
You're going to have
44
00:03:04,093 --> 00:03:05,426
to move all these
pool chemicals out of here.
45
00:03:05,427 --> 00:03:06,928
She can get to this now.
46
00:03:06,929 --> 00:03:08,129
I don't have anywhere
else to put them.
47
00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:10,765
Back of the truck is
all full of weed killer.
48
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:12,016
I could put
the weed killer in here
49
00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:14,185
if you think that's better.
50
00:03:14,186 --> 00:03:16,521
"Pick your poison."
51
00:03:16,522 --> 00:03:18,256
I just got that.
52
00:03:19,258 --> 00:03:20,258
Ow.
53
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:25,313
Maybe I'll see if Mom can make
some room in the greenhouse.
54
00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:28,600
There are some things
I don't like
55
00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:30,218
to talk to your grandma about.
56
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:31,486
One is her hobby.
57
00:03:31,487 --> 00:03:33,871
You see, some grandmas bake,
58
00:03:33,872 --> 00:03:36,241
some play bridge, some crochet.
59
00:03:36,242 --> 00:03:39,160
Your grandma is a hoarder.
60
00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:43,548
One of the only perks
of cleaning houses
61
00:03:43,549 --> 00:03:48,052
is getting all the crap
the rich people no longer want.
62
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,504
It never bothered
your grandmother
63
00:03:49,505 --> 00:03:51,556
that she didn't have a use
for any of the stuff.
64
00:03:51,557 --> 00:03:54,592
All she knew was:
It was free and she wanted it.
65
00:03:54,593 --> 00:03:56,177
What are you guys doing
in my stuff?
66
00:03:56,178 --> 00:03:57,262
You didn't touch my stuff,
did you?
67
00:03:57,263 --> 00:03:58,313
Don't touch my stuff.
68
00:03:58,314 --> 00:03:59,480
This is my stuff.
69
00:03:59,481 --> 00:04:01,015
Mom, I need to
make a little room
70
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:02,850
in here
for Dad's pool chemicals.
71
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:06,354
Can we maybe pick a few items
that you might not need?
72
00:04:06,355 --> 00:04:08,406
I need everything in here.
73
00:04:08,407 --> 00:04:09,357
Do you need this box
74
00:04:09,358 --> 00:04:10,525
of towel racks?
75
00:04:10,526 --> 00:04:12,277
Because not only
have I never seen
76
00:04:12,278 --> 00:04:13,611
anyone in this house
hang up a towel,
77
00:04:13,612 --> 00:04:16,080
we only have one bathroom.
78
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,915
We do now, but we don't know
79
00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:19,500
how many bathrooms we're going
to have when your father
80
00:04:19,501 --> 00:04:21,252
and I get our own place.
Do you think
81
00:04:21,253 --> 00:04:22,787
you're going to have 20?
82
00:04:22,788 --> 00:04:23,771
We might.
83
00:04:23,772 --> 00:04:24,839
I've been getting really close
84
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,007
with the lottery lately.
85
00:04:26,008 --> 00:04:27,175
Two weeks ago,
I got one number.
86
00:04:27,176 --> 00:04:28,159
Last week
87
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,761
I almost got two.
88
00:04:29,762 --> 00:04:31,596
I think she's getting ready
to bust wide open.
89
00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:32,764
What's tonight's jackpot up to?
90
00:04:32,765 --> 00:04:34,766
$46 million.
Nice.
91
00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:36,351
I'm glad we didn't win
last week.
92
00:04:36,352 --> 00:04:37,501
Now we can get a
house and a boat.
93
00:04:37,502 --> 00:04:39,337
Oh, I've been thinking
about boat names.
94
00:04:39,338 --> 00:04:41,723
How about Ship Happens?
95
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,343
The Love Burt?
96
00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:46,377
Aquaholic?
97
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:49,130
Yeah, Buoy?
98
00:04:49,131 --> 00:04:50,848
I'll keep thinking.
How about
99
00:04:50,849 --> 00:04:53,201
you keep thinking about where
to put the pool chemicals?
100
00:04:53,202 --> 00:04:54,685
I'm going to get some
baby-proofing stuff.
101
00:04:54,686 --> 00:04:56,371
See if the hardware store
has sheds on sale.
102
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:58,239
I'm not going
to the hardware store.
103
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,574
Going to the grocery store.
104
00:04:59,575 --> 00:05:01,376
I think Sabrina's
working tonight.
105
00:05:01,377 --> 00:05:02,994
There you go.
106
00:05:02,995 --> 00:05:05,196
Just 'cause she has
a boyfriend, don't give up.
107
00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:06,831
Girls are just
like the lottery.
108
00:05:06,832 --> 00:05:08,216
You can't win
if you don't play.
109
00:05:08,217 --> 00:05:10,501
Make sure you smile a lot;
you got a great smile.
110
00:05:13,055 --> 00:05:14,255
Okay, maybe I was thinking
of somebody else.
111
00:05:14,256 --> 00:05:15,089
Go.
112
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,603
Howdy-hi, partner.
113
00:05:28,604 --> 00:05:29,987
Howdy-hi.
114
00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:31,489
No, you don't have to do it,
115
00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:32,740
just us.
Oh.
116
00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:37,528
What were you writing
in that notebook?
117
00:05:37,529 --> 00:05:39,897
Oh, I'm working
on a short story.
118
00:05:39,898 --> 00:05:42,200
I'm taking a creative
writing class.
119
00:05:42,201 --> 00:05:44,919
Cool, um,
what's the story about?
120
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,088
It's called The
Elephant in the Room.
121
00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,623
It's about a Waspy family
122
00:05:48,624 --> 00:05:50,608
that's slowly turning
into emotionless zombies.
123
00:05:50,609 --> 00:05:52,576
Whoo, spooky.
124
00:05:52,577 --> 00:05:55,679
Yeah, yeah, I'm having
a lot of fun writing it.
125
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,448
I'm kind of stuck on
this one sentence.
126
00:05:57,449 --> 00:06:00,068
Like, what's another
word for "ostentatious"?
127
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,825
Uh...
128
00:06:09,044 --> 00:06:10,878
Delicious?
129
00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:13,030
Tired?
130
00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,367
Obnoxious?
131
00:06:16,368 --> 00:06:17,335
Lamp shade?
132
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,587
I really don't know that word.
133
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,555
Yeah, no, keep going, though.
134
00:06:20,556 --> 00:06:21,572
This is fun.
135
00:06:21,573 --> 00:06:22,557
Chocoholic?
136
00:06:26,061 --> 00:06:29,414
♪ O beautiful
for spacious skies... ♪
137
00:06:29,415 --> 00:06:31,149
Come on, Maw Maw.
138
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:33,801
♪ For amber waves of grain... ♪
139
00:06:33,802 --> 00:06:35,319
There you go, sweetheart.
140
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,005
♪ For purple mountain
majesties... ♪
141
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:42,710
♪ Above the fruited plain. ♪
142
00:06:43,712 --> 00:06:45,630
You go get in the bathtub.
143
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:47,882
I'll come check on you in a bit.
144
00:06:47,883 --> 00:06:49,550
Whoa.
145
00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:52,203
I got to start videotaping
what goes on in that bathroom.
146
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,704
Be good to have in
case my cousin tries
147
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,175
to fight us in court for
the house after Maw Maw dies.
148
00:07:03,398 --> 00:07:05,716
Where's Hope?
149
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,070
She was here a second ago.
150
00:07:20,332 --> 00:07:23,367
He just had to teach her
to crawl, didn't he?
151
00:07:23,368 --> 00:07:26,287
Here, baby, baby, baby.
152
00:07:26,288 --> 00:07:28,005
Here, baby, baby, baby.
153
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:29,340
Why the hell are
you looking up?
154
00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:30,407
You were looking down.
155
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:31,626
I thought you had that covered.
156
00:07:31,627 --> 00:07:33,211
What, do you think
she'd climb a tree?
157
00:07:33,212 --> 00:07:35,429
No, a hawk might have got her.
158
00:07:35,430 --> 00:07:37,298
Oh, God, I never thought of that.
159
00:07:37,299 --> 00:07:38,966
Hope!
160
00:07:51,463 --> 00:07:54,232
I just know he's going to find
a way to blame us for this.
161
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,117
Quick, help me get
this stuff out of here.
162
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,886
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
163
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,839
Not a good idea.
164
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,125
This is bad.
165
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,793
This is really bad.
166
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,195
I'm freaking out a
little bit here, Burt.
167
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:19,197
I'm not doing well with this.
168
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,382
Think of something.
169
00:08:20,383 --> 00:08:21,867
How are we going to
fix this... think.
170
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,702
You know I can't think
on demand like that.
171
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,036
Think.
172
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,037
Crap, stop saying
"Think."
173
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:27,089
Every time you say "Think,"
174
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,841
all I can think is
the word "think,"
175
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,509
and it fills up my whole brain.
All right, all right.
176
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,844
Think, think, think.
All right.
177
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,061
It keeps changing
colors and sizes.
178
00:08:33,062 --> 00:08:34,313
I-I can't get
past it.
179
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,399
All right, I'm getting
kind of antsy.
180
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,734
I need to clear my head.
181
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,652
Relax me... do,
do my thing.
182
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,661
All right.
183
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,497
Here we go.
184
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:56,001
If we can't get to the baby,
185
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:59,505
we need to get it
to come out on its own.
186
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,595
You're still just thinking of
the word "think," aren't you?
187
00:09:06,596 --> 00:09:09,715
Yeah, a little guy with
a hand puppet just came out,
188
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,383
pumped up the word
until it exploded
189
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,419
into a million little thinks.
190
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:17,556
Hmm, just keep stroking my nose.
191
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,195
Sugar cubes.
192
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,396
You good?
193
00:09:34,624 --> 00:09:36,625
What are you looking for?
194
00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:38,493
Sugar cubes.
195
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,663
I was going to teach Hope
how to somersault.
196
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,799
Are we out? If we're out,
I can go back to the store.
197
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,417
It's no problem.
198
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,619
Get right back there
while she's still working.
199
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:50,372
Yes, we're out.
200
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:52,140
Jimmy came home,
201
00:09:52,141 --> 00:09:54,009
but I sent him
back to the store.
202
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,010
How is she?
203
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,094
She's cool.
204
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,981
I'm keeping her entertained.
205
00:09:58,982 --> 00:10:00,566
Hey, sweetie,
look what I got.
206
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,285
If you want
207
00:10:03,286 --> 00:10:04,570
your sugar cubes,
you got to come
208
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,321
to the front of the greenhouse,
209
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:09,241
but you can't crawl along the
side here 'cause it's blocked,
210
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,160
so you want to go
back about two feet,
211
00:10:12,161 --> 00:10:14,396
make a left at the fax machine,
212
00:10:14,397 --> 00:10:16,348
crawl over the big aquarium
213
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,466
and then under the
little aquarium,
214
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:19,584
and keep on going
215
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,553
till you're old enough to
know what I'm talking about.
216
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,388
We're screwed.
217
00:10:25,441 --> 00:10:28,026
Uh, forgot sugar cubes.
218
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,945
Might want to think
about making a list.
219
00:10:29,946 --> 00:10:31,513
That's a great idea.
220
00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:33,098
I don't have time now,
221
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,766
but maybe I'll swing by later
for some paper.
222
00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,602
How's that short story coming?
223
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,604
Haven't really gotten much done
224
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,173
since I saw you
eight minutes ago.
225
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,875
Well, I don't know
if you can use it or not,
226
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,128
but I made you this.
227
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:48,630
I used an old fast food bag
228
00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:49,665
that was in my van.
229
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:51,283
It's really good.
230
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,969
Thanks. I didn't know if your
story was gonna have pictures,
231
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,671
but most good ones do, so...
232
00:10:55,672 --> 00:10:57,389
I wasn't planning
on it, but maybe.
233
00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:02,460
In my story, it's really more
of a metaphorical elephant.
234
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,096
Oh. Well, I don't think
235
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,847
anyone'll know
what species it is.
236
00:11:05,848 --> 00:11:08,417
I drew it pretty generic.
237
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,752
It's coming.
238
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,271
A little to the left.
239
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,655
What's going on?
240
00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:16,124
What are you guys doing?
241
00:11:16,125 --> 00:11:20,062
Uh... your baby's trapped
in your mother's cluer.
242
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:20,912
What?
243
00:11:22,332 --> 00:11:24,032
Is she okay?
Can she breathe?
244
00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,285
She's fine. She doesn't
even know she's trapped.
245
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,587
Don't worry, your father's
gonna suck her out.
246
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,705
She's in good hands.
247
00:11:29,706 --> 00:11:30,806
Remember how delicately
248
00:11:30,807 --> 00:11:32,341
I vacuumed out
that dead squirrel
249
00:11:32,342 --> 00:11:34,459
from the bottom of the
Wassermans' pool last week?
250
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,962
Not a bruise on it; little fella
could've had an open-casket.
251
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,430
What did you...
How the hell did this happen?
252
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,966
Well, you went out for ice cream
253
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,518
and had unprotected sex
with a serial killer. No,
254
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:45,304
no, no, you can't
keep going to that.
255
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,006
I left you guys in charge of
Hope, and now she's trapped
256
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:50,309
under a giant pile of crap because
you're a hoarder. Jimmy...
257
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,194
leave her alone.
258
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,979
I was supposed
to be watching her,
259
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,281
and I got distracted
by the lottery numbers.
260
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,783
Oh, I can see why
you couldn't miss that.
261
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,151
I assume you won?
262
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,253
No. Why would you assume that?
Did you hear something?
263
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,604
Did they do
a re-draw or something?
264
00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:03,905
I got her!
265
00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:12,748
Make sure the
suction's not too high.
266
00:12:12,749 --> 00:12:15,417
I don't want to have to explain
a hickey on her ass to day care.
267
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:16,418
Here she comes.
268
00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:19,755
We're on the home stretch.
269
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,893
Now she's gonna
pee on my stuff.
270
00:12:29,109 --> 00:12:30,743
Where is she?
271
00:12:30,744 --> 00:12:33,579
She's all the
way in the back again.
272
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,715
She's quick. She
makes it through this,
273
00:12:35,716 --> 00:12:38,384
you got quite a little
athlete on your hands.
274
00:12:38,385 --> 00:12:39,719
Oh, this is crazy.
275
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,920
I'm going in.
276
00:12:40,921 --> 00:12:42,255
Don't touch that!
277
00:12:43,457 --> 00:12:45,108
If you move the wrong thing,
278
00:12:45,109 --> 00:12:46,959
it could all come
crashing down.
279
00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:52,515
♪ ♪
280
00:12:55,635 --> 00:12:59,822
♪ Istanbul was Constantinople,
now it's Istanbul ♪
281
00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:02,358
♪ Not Constantinople, been a
long time gone, Constantinople ♪
282
00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:04,861
♪ Now it's Turkish delight
on a moonlit night ♪
283
00:13:04,862 --> 00:13:07,780
♪ Every gal in Constantinople
lives in Istanbul ♪
284
00:13:07,781 --> 00:13:09,282
♪ Not Constantinople ♪
285
00:13:09,283 --> 00:13:11,284
♪ So if you've a date
in Constantinople ♪
286
00:13:11,285 --> 00:13:12,602
♪ She'll be waiting
in Istanbul ♪
287
00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:14,887
♪ Even old New York ♪
288
00:13:14,888 --> 00:13:17,140
♪ Was once New Amsterdam ♪
289
00:13:17,141 --> 00:13:19,442
♪ Why they changed it,
I can't say ♪
290
00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:21,978
♪ People just liked it
better that way ♪ ♪ So ♪
291
00:13:21,979 --> 00:13:23,813
♪ Take me back
to Constantinople ♪
292
00:13:23,814 --> 00:13:25,948
♪ No, you can't go back
to Constantinople ♪
293
00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:27,366
♪ Been a long time gone ♪
294
00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:28,701
♪ Constantinople,
why did Constantinople ♪
295
00:13:28,702 --> 00:13:29,869
♪ Get the works? ♪
296
00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:30,870
♪ That's nobody's business ♪
297
00:13:30,871 --> 00:13:32,371
♪ But the Turks ♪
298
00:13:33,707 --> 00:13:35,958
♪ Do, do, do, do,
do, do, do... ♪
299
00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:39,128
♪ ♪
300
00:13:39,129 --> 00:13:40,813
♪ Why did Constantinople
get the works? ♪
301
00:13:40,814 --> 00:13:44,000
♪ That's nobody's business
but the turks... ♪
302
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:48,971
♪ Istanbul... ♪
303
00:13:52,776 --> 00:13:54,593
It's okay.
304
00:13:56,063 --> 00:13:57,897
You're not gonna thank
your Great-Maw Maw?
305
00:13:57,898 --> 00:13:59,265
Thank you, Maw Maw.
306
00:14:02,035 --> 00:14:03,569
I like your pants.
307
00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:05,371
Want to trade pants?
308
00:14:05,372 --> 00:14:07,957
Humor her... she just
saved your granddaughter.
309
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:10,209
I hate when we do this.
310
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:13,579
She always leaves tissues and
chicken bones in my pockets.
311
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,002
Hope
still asleep?
312
00:14:20,003 --> 00:14:21,254
Yep.
313
00:14:21,255 --> 00:14:22,889
What got you up so early?
314
00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:25,191
Me? I had to do
a little baby-proofing
315
00:14:25,192 --> 00:14:26,843
in the backyard.
316
00:14:36,053 --> 00:14:38,237
Where's my stuff?
317
00:14:39,489 --> 00:14:41,941
Jimmy, what did you do
with my stuff?
318
00:14:41,942 --> 00:14:44,277
My stuff is gone.
Where-where's my stuff?
319
00:14:44,278 --> 00:14:46,345
Your stuff is where
it belongs... in the dump.
320
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:48,364
Burt, I need you.
321
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:51,701
I know this is hard for you,
322
00:14:51,702 --> 00:14:52,835
but what happened yesterday
323
00:14:52,836 --> 00:14:54,003
can't happen again.
324
00:14:54,004 --> 00:14:55,487
You guys put Hope
in danger because
325
00:14:55,488 --> 00:14:57,290
you're living in a fantasy land.
You collect crap
326
00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:59,592
for a house we'll never have,
while Dad is busy checking
327
00:14:59,593 --> 00:15:01,210
for winning numbers
that he's never gonna get.
328
00:15:01,211 --> 00:15:02,828
Now that there's
a baby in the house,
329
00:15:02,829 --> 00:15:04,263
you need to start
concentrating on her
330
00:15:04,264 --> 00:15:05,431
instead of what you're gonna
331
00:15:05,432 --> 00:15:06,649
name your imaginary boat.
Hey,
332
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,384
we don't have to talk
about that anymore.
333
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:09,886
We agreed last night...
Cirrhosis of the River.
334
00:15:09,887 --> 00:15:11,170
What about you?
335
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,022
You're so busy blaming
everybody else.
336
00:15:13,023 --> 00:15:14,640
Where were you when
your daughter got stuck?
337
00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,559
I was in the store buying
things to keep her safe.
338
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,728
Yeah, the grocery store,
which is five blocks
339
00:15:18,729 --> 00:15:20,396
further away than
the hardware store.
340
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,281
Face it, Jimmy,
we're not the only
341
00:15:22,282 --> 00:15:24,650
illusional ones around here...
your daughter got stuck 'cause
342
00:15:24,651 --> 00:15:28,204
you were out chasing after some girl that
has a boyfriend. Fine, you're right.
343
00:15:28,205 --> 00:15:30,706
I'm doing the same thing you
guys are, and I need to stop.
344
00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:32,225
I need to focus on Hope.
345
00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:35,211
You're gonna give up on
this girl? I don't believe it.
346
00:15:35,212 --> 00:15:37,847
Well, I am. We all need to get
our heads out of the clouds.
347
00:15:37,848 --> 00:15:39,248
It took a little convincing,
348
00:15:39,249 --> 00:15:40,750
but eventually,
your grandma and grandpa
349
00:15:40,751 --> 00:15:43,719
understood what
I was talking about.
350
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,806
From now on, we're gonna
pay more attention to you.
351
00:15:46,807 --> 00:15:49,892
For me, that means buying
all the groceries at once
352
00:15:49,893 --> 00:15:52,478
and avoiding certain lines.
353
00:15:52,479 --> 00:15:55,881
For your grandpa,
it means finding something else
354
00:15:55,882 --> 00:15:57,216
to do with his dollar.
355
00:15:59,019 --> 00:16:01,687
For Grandma,
it means stepping aside
356
00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:04,223
and letting Guadalupe
and Loquesia duke it out
357
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:06,943
for a 20-year-old Hamilton
Beach popcorn maker.
358
00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:10,329
I'm not gonna lie to you.
359
00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:11,914
Now that we're
living in reality,
360
00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:14,400
things have been a little
less cheery around the house.
361
00:16:14,401 --> 00:16:15,651
But we'll get through it.
362
00:16:15,652 --> 00:16:17,486
How was your day?
363
00:16:17,487 --> 00:16:19,738
Me?
364
00:16:19,739 --> 00:16:21,924
I scrubbed toilets.
365
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:24,777
You?
366
00:16:24,778 --> 00:16:28,080
Cleaned pools, cut grass.
367
00:16:28,081 --> 00:16:32,351
Still no winner in
what is now a $128 million jackpot.
368
00:16:32,352 --> 00:16:35,254
In case you missed it,
here were last night's numbers.
369
00:16:37,190 --> 00:16:39,191
Don't tell me those
were your numbers.
370
00:16:39,192 --> 00:16:40,943
Could've been...
I do quick picks.
371
00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:42,979
I guess we'll never know.
Damn it!
372
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:45,948
Somebody ate all the chewy
chocolate chip cookies.
373
00:16:45,949 --> 00:16:48,451
Okay, relax,
I'll go get some more.
374
00:16:48,452 --> 00:16:49,952
Oh, no, you won't...
you're going
375
00:16:49,953 --> 00:16:51,904
to that grocery store
to see that girl.
376
00:16:51,905 --> 00:16:54,123
If you go and talk to that girl,
I get to buy a lottery ticket.
377
00:16:54,124 --> 00:16:56,942
I'm not gonna talk to the
girl... I promised I wouldn't.
378
00:16:56,943 --> 00:16:59,111
You better not be...
'cause I passed a house
379
00:16:59,112 --> 00:17:01,780
this morning on Sycamore street
that was throwing away a chair
380
00:17:01,781 --> 00:17:03,899
that looked like
a high-heeled shoe.
381
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,617
Would've looked great
in a walk-in closet.
382
00:17:05,618 --> 00:17:08,204
I didn't even slow down.
She's not even working tonight.
383
00:17:08,205 --> 00:17:09,588
She has class.
384
00:17:11,124 --> 00:17:13,792
Yeah, well, let's
just make sure of that.
385
00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:15,961
Burt, hold his face.
386
00:17:17,064 --> 00:17:19,482
Uh, what are you doing?
387
00:17:19,483 --> 00:17:20,799
Just a little insurance
388
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,768
to make sure you
don't break your promise.
389
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:41,411
Your mom's on the phone.
390
00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:43,279
She has lice again?
391
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,167
Hey.
392
00:17:48,085 --> 00:17:49,202
Hello.
393
00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:54,507
You know you have "dork"
written on your face, right?
394
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,126
Uh-huh. My mom did it.
395
00:17:56,127 --> 00:17:58,478
It usually comes off
in a couple of weeks.
396
00:17:58,479 --> 00:18:00,313
You might want to think
about wearing makeup.
397
00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:02,632
I tried that...
Makes me look like a dork.
398
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,384
Kind of a catch-32.
399
00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:06,519
I thought you had class
Tuesday nights.
400
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,521
Creative writing?
I dropped it.
401
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,273
I showed my dad my story,
402
00:18:10,274 --> 00:18:11,641
and he said it was blah.
403
00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:13,342
Not that he's
a wizard with words.
404
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,344
I'm gonna pick up
an accounting class.
405
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,946
I can already punch numbers
without looking.
406
00:18:16,947 --> 00:18:19,983
Look, it's none of my business,
but if you really want
407
00:18:19,984 --> 00:18:22,569
to be a writer,
you can't just give up.
408
00:18:22,570 --> 00:18:25,188
I mean, if you give up, you'll
never know what could have been.
409
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,522
What if you wrote
the best story
410
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:27,690
anybody has ever heard?
411
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,459
If they could turn it
into a book,
412
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:31,995
or even a movie,
you could win an Oscar.
413
00:18:31,996 --> 00:18:33,880
I'm not gonna win an Oscar.
You don't know that.
414
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:35,415
Anything is possible,
unless you quit.
415
00:18:35,416 --> 00:18:37,300
You can't win if you don't play.
416
00:18:37,301 --> 00:18:39,002
Think about it...
417
00:18:39,003 --> 00:18:41,588
how cool would it be
to win an Oscar?
418
00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:45,391
It would be pretty cool.
419
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,776
I could stand
420
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:49,545
onstage in my
Badgely Mischka dress and...
421
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,148
thank Gabodurey Sidibe
for bringing my words to life.
422
00:18:52,149 --> 00:18:53,433
Sure.
I don't know
423
00:18:53,434 --> 00:18:54,984
what language
some of those words are in,
424
00:18:54,985 --> 00:18:56,985
but that's what
I'm talking about.
425
00:18:57,238 --> 00:18:58,772
Thanks.
426
00:18:58,773 --> 00:18:59,906
Yeah.
427
00:18:59,907 --> 00:19:01,741
I needed that.
428
00:19:01,742 --> 00:19:03,576
Where the hell'd you learn
to be so positive?
429
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:04,444
It's infectious.
430
00:19:05,613 --> 00:19:07,831
I guess my parents infected me.
431
00:19:07,832 --> 00:19:09,532
You're lucky.
432
00:19:09,533 --> 00:19:11,551
Is that gonna be all?
433
00:19:13,671 --> 00:19:16,673
No. I need one more thing.
434
00:19:16,674 --> 00:19:19,843
That's when I realized I
want you to grow up in a house
435
00:19:19,844 --> 00:19:21,628
where people dream.
436
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,332
♪ ♪
437
00:19:30,271 --> 00:19:32,188
Growing up with your
grandparents in this house
438
00:19:32,189 --> 00:19:35,024
left me with a lot of scars,
but it also left me
439
00:19:35,025 --> 00:19:37,026
with the confidence
that no dream is too big.
440
00:19:37,027 --> 00:19:39,095
We're definitely gonna have
a dishwasher that works
441
00:19:39,096 --> 00:19:41,564
when we get our own place.
Hey, you know what?
442
00:19:41,565 --> 00:19:43,700
We're gonna get you a
pet monkey, little dude.
443
00:19:43,701 --> 00:19:45,819
Monkey!
444
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:48,037
We didn't have the best life,
445
00:19:48,038 --> 00:19:50,573
but that didn't stop us from
hoping that one day we would.
446
00:19:50,574 --> 00:19:51,541
I'm telling you,
447
00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:52,942
this job is great!
448
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,328
People feel so guilty that
we're cleaning up their mess,
449
00:19:55,329 --> 00:19:57,780
that they clean up half
of it ahead of time
450
00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,549
and then they
give us free stuff!
451
00:19:59,550 --> 00:20:02,669
I got you a towel rack today
for when we buy our own house,
452
00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:04,671
and you and your pet monkey
have your own bathroom.
453
00:20:04,672 --> 00:20:05,722
Monkey!
454
00:20:07,975 --> 00:20:10,476
And when you're growing up
around a couple of dreamers,
455
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:12,461
you can't help
but turn into one yourself.
456
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,397
Hey, what's the jackpot
up to tonight?
457
00:20:14,398 --> 00:20:16,566
$3 million.
Ooh, I bet we can get
458
00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:18,268
a big old house for that.
459
00:20:18,269 --> 00:20:19,819
And when you marry
that grocery store girl,
460
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:21,521
you can come over
for Thanksgiving.
461
00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:24,407
We'll start with cognac
in the library.
462
00:20:24,408 --> 00:20:25,775
I don't know
if that's gonna happen.
463
00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:27,410
She's got a boyfriend.
464
00:20:27,411 --> 00:20:28,978
She has a boyfriend now...
it doesn't mean
465
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,246
she's always
gonna have a boyfriend.
466
00:20:30,247 --> 00:20:31,881
Yeah, he could die.
467
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:34,317
People die every second...
there's one.
468
00:20:34,318 --> 00:20:35,318
There's another one.
469
00:20:35,319 --> 00:20:36,719
Oh, that could've been him.
470
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,254
I may not be able
471
00:20:38,255 --> 00:20:40,039
to give you the perfect life,
472
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,991
but I want you
to live in a house
473
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:44,627
that makes you believe that
one day you can get it.
474
00:20:44,628 --> 00:20:46,930
That's why I'm gonna make sure
you never see your daddy
475
00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:48,965
stop dreaming, because
if you stop dreaming,
476
00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:50,516
you're just sleeping.
477
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,474
Highfalutin.
478
00:20:58,475 --> 00:20:59,859
Excuse me?
479
00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:01,277
Another way to say ostentatious.
480
00:21:01,278 --> 00:21:02,445
Highfalutin.
481
00:21:02,446 --> 00:21:03,630
I looked it up
482
00:21:03,631 --> 00:21:05,281
in something called The Saurus.
483
00:21:05,282 --> 00:21:06,783
It's a cool book.
484
00:21:06,784 --> 00:21:08,318
It's like
the dictionary's cousin.
485
00:21:08,319 --> 00:21:09,969
Thank you.
486
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:11,487
No prob... Wait.
487
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,226
No conundrum.
488
00:21:16,426 --> 00:21:26,626
Sync by Jeska
www.addic7ed.com