1
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,562
<i>There's no bell</i>

2
00:00:39,564 --> 00:00:42,330
<i>When you call for me</i>

3
00:00:42,332 --> 00:00:45,401
<i>You'll be falling for miles</i>

4
00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:49,908
<i>I'm bewitched by your misery</i>

5
00:00:51,408 --> 00:00:54,977
<i>But I love it when you smile</i>

6
00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:57,915
<i>Let me know
what you want from me</i>

7
00:00:59,082 --> 00:01:02,851
<i>Whisper "love" in my ears</i>

8
00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:05,790
<i>Before you try
to get your hooks in me</i>

9
00:01:07,591 --> 00:01:11,860
<i>I should warn you, my dear</i>

10
00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:15,263
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

11
00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:19,200
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

12
00:01:19,202 --> 00:01:23,238
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

13
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,974
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

14
00:01:26,976 --> 00:01:30,115
<i>No escaping the way you feel</i>

15
00:01:31,749 --> 00:01:35,283
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

16
00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:39,155
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

17
00:01:39,157 --> 00:01:45,093
- <i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>
- <i>Haunted house</i>

18
00:01:46,997 --> 00:01:50,800
<i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>

19
00:01:50,802 --> 00:01:53,171
<i>Haunted house</i>

20
00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:13,754
My love.

21
00:02:13,756 --> 00:02:15,991
<i>Cara mia.</i>

22
00:02:15,993 --> 00:02:18,862
The ring! The ring!
Oh, no! No, no, no!

23
00:02:27,004 --> 00:02:30,341
Oh, Thing!
Best hand always has the ring!

24
00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:42,717
Dearly be-loathed,

25
00:02:42,719 --> 00:02:46,721
it is indeed a rare privilege
to see our family

26
00:02:46,723 --> 00:02:50,358
gathered together
for this Addams tradition.

27
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,661
To commence this ceremony

28
00:02:52,663 --> 00:02:54,196
and deliver these two

29
00:02:54,198 --> 00:02:58,234
into the yawning void
of matrimony,

30
00:02:58,236 --> 00:03:02,874
we put the lime in the coconut
and drink them both up.

31
00:03:10,313 --> 00:03:12,547
I now pronounce you...

32
00:03:12,549 --> 00:03:13,916
- Monsters!
- Freaks!

33
00:03:13,918 --> 00:03:15,016
Get out, Addams!

34
00:03:15,018 --> 00:03:16,184
You've been here
long enough!

35
00:03:16,186 --> 00:03:17,887
We've had
enough of your kind!

36
00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,354
Addams aren't wanted here!

37
00:03:19,356 --> 00:03:20,822
Leave already!

38
00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:22,557
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

39
00:03:22,559 --> 00:03:23,726
Quick, put the lime
in the coconut

40
00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:25,193
and drink 'em both up!

41
00:03:29,498 --> 00:03:31,432
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

42
00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:32,836
This is our home!

43
00:03:33,871 --> 00:03:35,037
You're not wanted!

44
00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:36,238
We don't want you here!

45
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,076
Everyone, to the bridge!

46
00:03:42,445 --> 00:03:43,611
Fire!

47
00:03:43,613 --> 00:03:44,782
Fire!

48
00:04:00,598 --> 00:04:02,764
You two love bats
better fly out of here!

49
00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:04,633
I'll hold them off!

50
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,067
Mazurka!

51
00:04:09,606 --> 00:04:11,375
Grab onto my hairy hump!

52
00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:19,547
I think I can see
my house from here.

53
00:04:19,549 --> 00:04:22,217
Oh, no.
That's a women's prison.

54
00:04:22,219 --> 00:04:25,253
Oh, Gomez, why do hordes
of angry villagers

55
00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:26,821
follow us everywhere we go?

56
00:04:26,823 --> 00:04:30,424
We are safe, my love,
that is all that matters.

57
00:04:30,426 --> 00:04:32,260
I want to find a new home

58
00:04:32,262 --> 00:04:34,296
that is shrouded
from the world.

59
00:04:34,298 --> 00:04:37,299
Someplace that is truly us.

60
00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:41,001
Yes! Somewhere horrible!
Somewhere corrupt!

61
00:04:41,003 --> 00:04:43,237
Somewhere that no one
in their right mind

62
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,008
would be caught dead in!

63
00:04:55,786 --> 00:04:57,518
Unhappy, darling?

64
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,255
Yes, completely.

65
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:03,592
Oh, Gomez,
you have torn down my walls

66
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,294
and stabbed your name
onto my heart.

67
00:05:08,097 --> 00:05:10,131
My wan temptress,

68
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,202
your hand is as cold
as a dead fish.

69
00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:15,804
My love, that is a dead fish.

70
00:05:15,806 --> 00:05:17,272
Mmm, mmm...

71
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,543
So it is.

72
00:05:23,546 --> 00:05:25,046
Darling,

73
00:05:25,048 --> 00:05:28,850
is that a wrinkle
I see on your pallid brow?

74
00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:30,051
What's wrong?

75
00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,188
We can't run forever, my love.

76
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:34,056
I want a home again.

77
00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:36,792
I want our children
to grow up in peace.

78
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,294
I want to pick out
cemetery plots.

79
00:05:39,296 --> 00:05:43,231
Morticia, I swear on my life
I will find us a new home.

80
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,503
And your every wish
shall be granted.

81
00:05:46,135 --> 00:05:47,736
<i>Mon amour.</i>

82
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:52,073
French. You know
what that does to me.

83
00:05:53,544 --> 00:05:55,413
<i>Wild thing</i>

84
00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:58,648
<i>You make my heart...</i>

85
00:06:07,058 --> 00:06:08,926
We hit something!

86
00:06:16,666 --> 00:06:18,868
Is he all right?

87
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:21,436
No, he seems
perfectly demented.

88
00:06:21,438 --> 00:06:25,407
"State Hospital for
the Criminally Insane."

89
00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:26,944
Gomez.

90
00:06:30,948 --> 00:06:32,679
That must be
the asylum.

91
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:34,215
Oh, thank goodness.

92
00:06:34,217 --> 00:06:36,684
A decent place
to sleep for the night.

93
00:06:41,424 --> 00:06:42,426
Hmm?

94
00:06:43,294 --> 00:06:45,695
Thank you, old boy.
Lead the way.

95
00:07:03,479 --> 00:07:06,080
It's quiet. Too quiet.

96
00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:07,652
Must be the off-season.

97
00:07:16,661 --> 00:07:17,728
Hello?

98
00:07:21,799 --> 00:07:23,164
There's no one here.

99
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,400
Could it be abandoned?

100
00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:28,135
It's creepy. Kooky.

101
00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:31,075
Mysterious. Spooky.

102
00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:42,486
Huh?

103
00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:33,037
<i>Get out!</i>

104
00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:36,071
It's hideous.

105
00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,574
It's horrible.

106
00:08:38,208 --> 00:08:40,307
It's home.

107
00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:27,351
What a lovely morning!

108
00:10:30,319 --> 00:10:31,485
Nice try.

109
00:10:31,487 --> 00:10:35,322
<i>Get out!</i>

110
00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:38,628
Oh, you're always so grumpy
before your morning coffee.

111
00:10:47,837 --> 00:10:48,970
Better?

112
00:11:06,856 --> 00:11:07,955
<i>Lurch,</i>

113
00:11:07,957 --> 00:11:09,125
<i>it's time for breakfast.</i>

114
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,844
Thing.

115
00:11:29,846 --> 00:11:32,650
Have Ichabod
wake the children.

116
00:11:35,752 --> 00:11:38,552
Lurch, would you mind
dusting the house?

117
00:11:38,554 --> 00:11:39,856
Mmm.

118
00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,830
Slowly, Cleopatra.

119
00:11:49,832 --> 00:11:52,736
I wouldn't want my favorite
African Strangler to choke.

120
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,778
All right, Ichabod. I'm awake.

121
00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:39,717
Not for long.

122
00:12:40,951 --> 00:12:42,749
Real mature, Pugsley.

123
00:12:42,751 --> 00:12:44,119
Oh, please.

124
00:12:44,121 --> 00:12:46,321
You never threw an axe
when you were my age?

125
00:12:46,323 --> 00:12:50,093
Of course I did.
I never missed.

126
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,262
How I wish something
would liven up

127
00:12:54,264 --> 00:12:56,064
this already tedious day.

128
00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:01,771
Thanks for trying, Ichabod.

129
00:13:22,525 --> 00:13:23,760
Hmm.

130
00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:50,784
<i>Pugsley?</i>

131
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:54,321
Pugsley! It's time
for sword practice.

132
00:13:54,323 --> 00:13:55,956
Pugsley!

133
00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:57,627
Let the games begin.

134
00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:28,058
Here's Pugsley!

135
00:14:44,874 --> 00:14:47,378
All right, son.
That's enough.

136
00:14:48,944 --> 00:14:51,748
They blow up
so fast these days.

137
00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:04,627
Don't make me come up there!

138
00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:12,803
This is your last warning!

139
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,983
My head. Ow, ow, ow.

140
00:15:27,985 --> 00:15:31,418
Pugsley, we're supposed to be
working on your swordplay.

141
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,622
Your Sabre Mazurka
is two weeks away,

142
00:15:33,624 --> 00:15:35,623
and you've barely
practiced at all.

143
00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:37,825
So I missed one practice.
What's the big deal?

144
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:39,761
The big deal?

145
00:15:39,763 --> 00:15:42,397
The Sabre Mazurka
is the most important day

146
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:43,663
in a young man's life.

147
00:15:43,665 --> 00:15:45,167
It's what makes you an Addams.

148
00:15:45,169 --> 00:15:48,268
It's the day your entire
family gathers around you

149
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:51,772
and passes judgment on
your worth as a human being.

150
00:15:51,774 --> 00:15:53,273
I hear it's like Thanksgiving.

151
00:15:53,275 --> 00:15:56,243
But swords
are so old-fashioned.

152
00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:58,113
I'm more of a demolitions man.

153
00:15:58,115 --> 00:16:02,653
Explosives have no place
in a Mazurka. Hand them over.

154
00:16:06,122 --> 00:16:08,156
All of them.

155
00:16:08,158 --> 00:16:10,157
And the TNT.

156
00:16:10,159 --> 00:16:11,960
And the M-80s.

157
00:16:11,962 --> 00:16:15,363
Roman candles. Bang snaps.
Holy Hand Grenades.

158
00:16:16,832 --> 00:16:21,536
Son, our family hasn't been
all together in 13 years.

159
00:16:21,538 --> 00:16:23,638
They are coming
from all over the world

160
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,974
to see you
on your special day.

161
00:16:25,976 --> 00:16:28,011
I just want it
to go perfectly.

162
00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:30,979
All right, Pop.
I'll practice.

163
00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:32,513
That's my boy.

164
00:16:38,054 --> 00:16:40,287
Putrid.

165
00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,690
Mmm. Horrifying.

166
00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:43,060
I call spleen.

167
00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:46,694
Mmm...

168
00:16:46,696 --> 00:16:48,162
- Ah, ow...
- Wednesday.

169
00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:49,830
Please, no ink stains
on the table.

170
00:16:49,832 --> 00:16:51,733
Yes, Mother.

171
00:16:55,471 --> 00:16:57,205
Gomez, everyone we've invited

172
00:16:57,207 --> 00:16:58,906
to the Mazurka
has threatened to come.

173
00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:01,808
I know. Isn't it wonderful?

174
00:17:02,913 --> 00:17:06,147
All Addamses
under one roof again.

175
00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:07,916
Yes, but where will
everyone sleep?

176
00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:10,350
We'll have Lurch fix up
the mausoleum.

177
00:17:10,352 --> 00:17:11,852
It'll be like
sleepaway camp.

178
00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:15,389
Very well, darling.

179
00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,194
Uncle Fester!

180
00:17:20,196 --> 00:17:21,862
Brother!

181
00:17:24,935 --> 00:17:26,234
Don't worry, I'm okay.

182
00:17:26,236 --> 00:17:28,336
The plate glass window
broke my fall.

183
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,737
Ha! Ha!

184
00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:32,573
<i>Rick'em,
rack'em, roar'em, buzz</i>

185
00:17:32,575 --> 00:17:34,542
<i>Addams is as Addams does</i>

186
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,214
I am thrilled you're here!

187
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:41,949
I'm not late, am I?

188
00:17:41,951 --> 00:17:44,651
Actually, we weren't expecting
you for another two weeks.

189
00:17:44,653 --> 00:17:46,521
Huh. So, not late.

190
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,055
I apologize, darling.

191
00:17:48,057 --> 00:17:50,124
You see,
I asked Fester to come early

192
00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:52,627
to help Pugsley
with his Mazurka practice.

193
00:17:52,629 --> 00:17:54,395
Hey!

194
00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:55,463
No! No!

195
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,764
Bad Kitty!
That's a bad Kitty!

196
00:17:57,766 --> 00:17:59,032
If I'd known you were coming,

197
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,801
I would have prepared
the dungeon.

198
00:18:00,803 --> 00:18:03,704
Please, don't worry.
I'll sleep in the attic.

199
00:18:03,706 --> 00:18:05,438
You won't even know I'm here.

200
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,744
I've practiced that move
in a lot of people's homes.

201
00:18:09,746 --> 00:18:12,213
Uncle,

202
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:14,682
can you tell us
what's beyond the gate?

203
00:18:17,586 --> 00:18:20,054
Why ever would you
ask that, dear?

204
00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:22,523
I heard a strange noise
in the fog earlier,

205
00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:24,157
and I should like
to investigate.

206
00:18:24,159 --> 00:18:26,327
There's nothing out there
but boring marshland.

207
00:18:26,329 --> 00:18:29,597
There must be something.
We never go anywhere.

208
00:18:29,599 --> 00:18:32,332
Who knows the untold horrors
we're missing out on.

209
00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:34,269
Darling,
we have all the horror

210
00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:35,436
we need, right here.

211
00:18:35,438 --> 00:18:38,472
Uncle Fester can go
wherever he likes.

212
00:18:38,474 --> 00:18:40,375
Now, now,
there are some restrictions.

213
00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:42,444
You know,
I can't go to the mall,

214
00:18:42,446 --> 00:18:44,512
or a zoo, or a building...

215
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:45,612
When you're older,

216
00:18:45,614 --> 00:18:47,314
you can travel
to your heart's content.

217
00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:50,120
But for now,
it's safer for you here.

218
00:18:52,022 --> 00:18:53,524
Socrates, come.

219
00:18:55,191 --> 00:18:57,657
...South America,
Europe, China,

220
00:18:57,659 --> 00:19:00,360
Asia, most parts of Africa.

221
00:19:00,362 --> 00:19:02,332
I'm allowed in Antarctica!

222
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,677
<i>You're watching</i>

223
00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:18,948
<i>Home, Art
and Garden television.</i>

224
00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:23,818
The world's a big place,
full of poor souls

225
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:26,853
who don't know the difference
between shiplap and Shinola.

226
00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:28,455
Well, I'm here to help.

227
00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:33,060
<i>I take your
uninspired living space</i>

228
00:19:33,062 --> 00:19:36,129
<i>and turn it into the perfect
palace of your dreams.</i>

229
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,902
No matter how outdated your
design sense, I can help you.

230
00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:42,203
<i>My only flaw?</i>

231
00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:44,171
<i>Sometimes I care too much.</i>

232
00:19:45,342 --> 00:19:47,308
I'm Margaux Needler,

233
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:51,212
and I'm about to stage
a <i>Design Intervention!</i>

234
00:19:51,214 --> 00:19:53,580
You're welcome in advance.

235
00:19:53,582 --> 00:19:55,550
Today, we're putting
the finishing touches

236
00:19:55,552 --> 00:19:57,718
on our biggest project yet.

237
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,387
Assimilation.

238
00:19:59,389 --> 00:20:01,421
We didn't just
make over a house.

239
00:20:01,423 --> 00:20:04,360
We made over a whole town!

240
00:20:05,428 --> 00:20:07,895
And in just two weeks,
on our live season finale,

241
00:20:07,897 --> 00:20:09,030
you will be able to buy

242
00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:10,599
your very own
piece of Assimilation.

243
00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:11,698
That's right!

244
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,734
In a <i>Design Intervention</i>
first,

245
00:20:13,736 --> 00:20:17,204
we are putting a whole
neighborhood up for sale.

246
00:20:17,206 --> 00:20:19,005
This will be
your chance to purchase

247
00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:20,140
the house of your dreams

248
00:20:20,142 --> 00:20:22,275
in the town of your dreams!

249
00:20:22,277 --> 00:20:24,512
Sounds good?
I thought so.

250
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,014
Welcome to Assimilation,
neighbor.

251
00:20:28,217 --> 00:20:29,550
<i>This program
brought to you</i>

252
00:20:29,552 --> 00:20:30,618
<i>by Neighborhood Peeps.</i>

253
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,023
<i>Your neighbors are watching!</i>

254
00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,191
And, we're out!

255
00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,625
Love it. Perfect.

256
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,494
Let's set up
for the walk-through.

257
00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:40,828
Margaux,
did that feel good to you?

258
00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:41,928
No, Glenn.

259
00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:44,299
We need more balloons,
more confetti.

260
00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:46,367
- Roger that.
- What are we selling here?

261
00:20:46,369 --> 00:20:49,436
Big dreams. You know
how you get big dreams?

262
00:20:49,438 --> 00:20:50,804
- Uh...
- With big ratings.

263
00:20:50,806 --> 00:20:52,072
- Got it.
- Double the balloons.

264
00:20:52,074 --> 00:20:53,907
And I want
a blizzard of confetti.

265
00:20:53,909 --> 00:20:55,475
I want so much confetti
that we need

266
00:20:55,477 --> 00:20:57,611
snow patrols
to find lost children.

267
00:20:57,613 --> 00:20:59,914
I bet my home improvement
empire on this town.

268
00:20:59,916 --> 00:21:01,381
Every house must sell

269
00:21:01,383 --> 00:21:02,715
or we're out of business!

270
00:21:02,717 --> 00:21:04,918
- It's got to be perfect!
- Mom!

271
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,654
You're never
gonna believe this.

272
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:07,754
What is it, Parker?

273
00:21:07,756 --> 00:21:10,558
I found a creepy mansion
up on the hill!

274
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,992
I'm so glad you're exploring,
Parker,

275
00:21:11,994 --> 00:21:13,962
but I don't have time
to talk right now, sweetheart.

276
00:21:13,964 --> 00:21:15,596
Mama needs to help people.

277
00:21:15,598 --> 00:21:18,064
I need help.
Aren't I people?

278
00:21:18,066 --> 00:21:19,833
Oh, you're cute.

279
00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,836
Don't you have Chipper 'N'
Cheer practice this afternoon?

280
00:21:21,838 --> 00:21:23,138
Run along, honey.

281
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,938
Now, Glenn, what are
the numbers we're expecting?

282
00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,340
- Well, if you look here...
- Mom!

283
00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:28,644
Ugh!

284
00:21:38,254 --> 00:21:40,524
Left a bit. Up a bit.

285
00:21:40,957 --> 00:21:43,090
Now, down a bit.

286
00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:45,495
Perfect.

287
00:21:46,329 --> 00:21:50,130
And three, two, one...

288
00:21:55,037 --> 00:21:57,472
You made me miss!

289
00:21:57,474 --> 00:22:00,942
Do you know how long
it took for me to set this up?

290
00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:02,842
Look, Pugsley...

291
00:22:02,844 --> 00:22:06,847
Your Mazurka's coming up,
and, well, you're not ready.

292
00:22:06,849 --> 00:22:09,516
Even if I am the only one
who sees it.

293
00:22:09,518 --> 00:22:11,552
So, pay attention,

294
00:22:11,554 --> 00:22:13,021
and you might actually
get through this.

295
00:22:13,023 --> 00:22:14,024
Wait.

296
00:22:14,724 --> 00:22:17,226
You're going to help me?

297
00:22:17,893 --> 00:22:18,993
Why?

298
00:22:18,995 --> 00:22:21,628
Because you are my brother.

299
00:22:21,630 --> 00:22:26,032
And... I love you.

300
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,206
All right.
How are you gonna help me?

301
00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:35,209
You see that hole over there?

302
00:22:35,211 --> 00:22:36,679
Go stand beside it.

303
00:22:37,813 --> 00:22:39,546
Uh... That hole?

304
00:22:39,548 --> 00:22:40,982
That hole.

305
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,884
Mmm...
I don't get it.

306
00:22:46,555 --> 00:22:47,890
Whoa.

307
00:22:59,468 --> 00:23:01,702
Darling, not to criticize,

308
00:23:01,704 --> 00:23:04,038
but is that really
as tight as you can make it?

309
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,872
I'm sorry, Gomez.

310
00:23:05,874 --> 00:23:08,908
I'm just a bit preoccupied
with the Mazurka preparations.

311
00:23:08,910 --> 00:23:11,512
Oh, I am as well!

312
00:23:11,514 --> 00:23:13,981
I fear Pugsley
is overconfident

313
00:23:13,983 --> 00:23:16,016
and doesn't truly understand

314
00:23:16,018 --> 00:23:18,619
the importance
of this tradition.

315
00:23:18,621 --> 00:23:20,620
Good news, everybody.
Pugsley's gone.

316
00:23:20,622 --> 00:23:22,889
Wednesday,
I know that tone of voice.

317
00:23:22,891 --> 00:23:25,091
Dig up your brother. At once.

318
00:23:25,093 --> 00:23:26,726
You're weakening
the gene pool.

319
00:23:26,728 --> 00:23:28,094
Hold on.

320
00:23:28,096 --> 00:23:29,263
What do you have there?

321
00:23:29,265 --> 00:23:32,466
I'm not sure.
I like it.

322
00:23:32,468 --> 00:23:36,803
It's so... What's the word?
The opposite of sad?

323
00:23:36,805 --> 00:23:38,607
Darling, bring that to me.

324
00:23:41,611 --> 00:23:44,978
Strange, there's usually
a murderous clown

325
00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:47,214
attached to the other
end of these.

326
00:23:47,216 --> 00:23:50,083
Wednesday, don't move!

327
00:23:50,085 --> 00:23:55,222
What, in the name of
all that is unholy, is that?

328
00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:58,391
It tastes like cotton candy.

329
00:23:58,393 --> 00:24:00,293
How do you know
what cotton candy tastes like?

330
00:24:00,295 --> 00:24:02,763
Tish, it was my youth.
I made mistakes.

331
00:24:02,765 --> 00:24:05,465
Wednesday, wherever did
this pink thing come from?

332
00:24:05,467 --> 00:24:06,833
Outside.

333
00:24:06,835 --> 00:24:09,139
They're everywhere.

334
00:24:15,945 --> 00:24:19,346
Strangest weather
system I've ever seen.

335
00:24:25,188 --> 00:24:28,356
What is that?
Where's it coming from?

336
00:24:28,358 --> 00:24:29,756
Wait, wait, wait.

337
00:24:29,758 --> 00:24:32,292
The fog, it's lifting.

338
00:24:32,294 --> 00:24:34,028
Well, that would
only happen if...

339
00:24:34,030 --> 00:24:37,701
Someone drained the marsh.
But who?

340
00:24:40,336 --> 00:24:43,137
A town.
This is not good.

341
00:24:43,139 --> 00:24:44,371
We must go down there

342
00:24:44,373 --> 00:24:46,273
and introduce ourselves
at once.

343
00:24:46,275 --> 00:24:50,045
This day is becoming
most wonderfully disruptive.

344
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:05,792
Let's keep going
with the run-through, okay?

345
00:25:05,794 --> 00:25:06,894
Welcome back.

346
00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,696
I'm so delighted
to show you my house.

347
00:25:08,698 --> 00:25:11,732
You can own one just like it,
just less large.

348
00:25:11,734 --> 00:25:14,635
Blah, blah, blah.
Sconces, crown molding.

349
00:25:14,637 --> 00:25:17,871
Which leads us to what I call
the Salon de Grandé.

350
00:25:17,873 --> 00:25:20,774
Cross here, turn,
and then say something like,

351
00:25:20,776 --> 00:25:22,743
"Now, before I show you
this view,

352
00:25:22,745 --> 00:25:24,378
"go to an antique store,

353
00:25:24,380 --> 00:25:26,981
"buy a chair,
and reupholster it.

354
00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:28,919
"'Cause you're gonna
wanna sit down for this."

355
00:25:31,853 --> 00:25:33,454
What? What's the matter?

356
00:25:33,456 --> 00:25:35,222
For heaven's sake,
what's going on?

357
00:25:35,224 --> 00:25:37,994
Do I have something
in my teeth? What is it?

358
00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:48,569
Not a single gargoyle.

359
00:25:48,571 --> 00:25:50,772
Maybe this isn't
such a bad thing.

360
00:25:50,774 --> 00:25:52,874
We have been
isolated here for a while.

361
00:25:52,876 --> 00:25:55,512
I could really
see myself dying here.

362
00:25:57,714 --> 00:25:59,080
Play nice, Kitty.

363
00:26:00,216 --> 00:26:02,183
Well, no one is running at us

364
00:26:02,185 --> 00:26:05,619
with torches and pitchforks,
so that's a plus.

365
00:26:05,621 --> 00:26:08,156
You know, darling,
I don't think we'll need

366
00:26:08,158 --> 00:26:09,924
to put the family
in the mausoleum.

367
00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:11,457
They can stay here!

368
00:26:11,459 --> 00:26:13,695
The family
would never be comfortable.

369
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,794
It will be years

370
00:26:14,796 --> 00:26:16,798
before rust and decay set in.

371
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,031
How you doing?

372
00:26:18,033 --> 00:26:20,303
It's all so... different.

373
00:26:21,771 --> 00:26:23,937
Pugsley, don't drink it all.

374
00:26:23,939 --> 00:26:26,573
This gentleman
wants some, too.

375
00:26:26,575 --> 00:26:28,408
Sir, it's all right.

376
00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:30,311
He's had all his shots!

377
00:26:30,313 --> 00:26:31,811
What a nervous man.

378
00:26:31,813 --> 00:26:34,815
Come on, Tish, let's
explore the neighborhood.

379
00:26:34,817 --> 00:26:36,483
I'm gonna pop in here
for two minutes

380
00:26:36,485 --> 00:26:38,985
and I'll meet you in
the town square. Agreed?

381
00:26:38,987 --> 00:26:40,090
Very well, darling.

382
00:26:40,989 --> 00:26:43,224
Good day, all.

383
00:26:44,494 --> 00:26:47,060
Don't let me interrupt
your cup of joe

384
00:26:47,062 --> 00:26:49,464
or whoever you have in there.

385
00:26:49,466 --> 00:26:53,934
So, what's dark and bitter
here other than yours truly?

386
00:26:53,936 --> 00:26:57,605
We have the
Madagascar Emerald Peaberry,

387
00:26:57,607 --> 00:26:59,106
in a summer patchouli roast.

388
00:26:59,108 --> 00:27:03,343
It has notes of oak,
cherry, and yoga.

389
00:27:03,345 --> 00:27:08,182
Hmm. You know, I'm looking
for something a bit stronger.

390
00:27:08,184 --> 00:27:09,853
Ah! Let me try that.

391
00:27:14,489 --> 00:27:17,124
Mmm! Morticia, you have
to try these coffee grounds.

392
00:27:17,126 --> 00:27:18,658
They have a wonderful grit!

393
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:21,028
Just a moment,
what am I hearing?

394
00:27:22,431 --> 00:27:23,863
<i>This is where
we all belong, yeah</i>

395
00:27:23,865 --> 00:27:25,432
<i>Everybody come together</i>

396
00:27:25,434 --> 00:27:28,770
<i>Sing our song, sing our song</i>

397
00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:32,673
<i>Life is really perfect
We are one big family, yeah</i>

398
00:27:32,675 --> 00:27:34,340
<i>Everything is so much better</i>

399
00:27:34,342 --> 00:27:36,446
<i>When I'm like you
and you're like me</i>

400
00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:41,282
<i>What's so great
about being yourself</i>

401
00:27:41,284 --> 00:27:44,151
<i>When you can be
like everyone else?</i>

402
00:27:44,153 --> 00:27:48,488
Wow, that is
absolutely horrible!

403
00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:52,326
<i>It's easy to be happy
when you have no choice</i>

404
00:27:52,328 --> 00:27:55,696
<i>Yes, it's easy to be happy
when you have no choice</i>

405
00:27:55,698 --> 00:27:57,798
Hold on,
unless I miss my guess here,

406
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,701
I believe that is
supposed to be music.

407
00:28:00,703 --> 00:28:01,869
They're greeting us with

408
00:28:01,871 --> 00:28:03,303
one of their
traditional songs.

409
00:28:03,305 --> 00:28:04,870
Well, then,
we ought to do the same.

410
00:28:04,872 --> 00:28:07,140
Wonderful idea, Fester.

411
00:28:07,142 --> 00:28:09,243
<i>Isn't it great
when we are all together?</i>

412
00:28:09,245 --> 00:28:13,180
<i>Say it again
until you believe it</i>

413
00:28:13,182 --> 00:28:15,215
<i>I believe it</i>

414
00:28:15,217 --> 00:28:16,652
<i>We believe it</i>

415
00:28:20,823 --> 00:28:22,555
<i>I'd tip my hat to you</i>

416
00:28:22,557 --> 00:28:24,891
<i>I'd do just that</i>

417
00:28:24,893 --> 00:28:27,395
<i>Take it right off for you,
But I haven't got a hat</i>

418
00:28:28,931 --> 00:28:31,631
<i>I'm just a college boy,
even at that</i>

419
00:28:32,768 --> 00:28:35,502
<i>I'd tip my hat to you
But I haven't got a hat</i>

420
00:28:42,444 --> 00:28:44,276
What? What'd I do?

421
00:28:44,278 --> 00:28:45,579
How rude.

422
00:28:45,581 --> 00:28:47,880
Gomez, we should return home.

423
00:28:47,882 --> 00:28:50,951
Morticia,
this is not the old country.

424
00:28:50,953 --> 00:28:53,454
True, these people
are a little different.

425
00:28:53,456 --> 00:28:55,589
But deep down,
we're all the same.

426
00:28:56,758 --> 00:28:59,126
We have to give them a chance.
Get to know them.

427
00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:00,695
We have to win them over.

428
00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,398
"Win them over"?

429
00:29:03,131 --> 00:29:05,067
Well, good morning, neighbor!

430
00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:07,067
Margaux Needler.

431
00:29:07,069 --> 00:29:10,404
Gomez Addams.
At your service.

432
00:29:10,406 --> 00:29:11,772
My wife, Morticia.

433
00:29:11,774 --> 00:29:12,906
Charmed.

434
00:29:12,908 --> 00:29:16,109
Our children,
Wednesday, Pugsley.

435
00:29:16,111 --> 00:29:17,744
And my brother, Fester.

436
00:29:17,746 --> 00:29:18,878
Hey, neighbor!

437
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,080
You know, we can see
right into your windows?

438
00:29:21,082 --> 00:29:24,417
Nice to, uh, meet you.

439
00:29:24,419 --> 00:29:27,119
As your neighbor,
I'd like to offer you

440
00:29:27,121 --> 00:29:29,223
the opportunity of a lifetime.

441
00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:31,492
How'd you like
a free home makeover

442
00:29:31,494 --> 00:29:34,160
from a world-renowned
interior designer?

443
00:29:34,162 --> 00:29:35,494
It will be a challenge,

444
00:29:35,496 --> 00:29:37,965
but I can beautify that
old house of yours so fast,

445
00:29:37,967 --> 00:29:39,199
it'll make your head spin.

446
00:29:39,201 --> 00:29:40,301
I don't wanna brag,

447
00:29:40,303 --> 00:29:41,935
but mine already does that.
Look.

448
00:29:44,473 --> 00:29:47,640
I should like to see what this
plastic woman has to offer.

449
00:29:47,642 --> 00:29:50,644
Yes, well... When is
a good time to stop by?

450
00:29:50,646 --> 00:29:53,446
Actually, Ms. Needler...

451
00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:55,448
Darling...

452
00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:58,285
Stop by anytime you'd like.

453
00:29:58,287 --> 00:30:00,486
Oh, wonderful!
Then it's settled.

454
00:30:00,488 --> 00:30:02,822
I'll see you at your house,
first thing tomorrow.

455
00:30:02,824 --> 00:30:06,426
You're welcome in advance! Ta!

456
00:30:08,363 --> 00:30:10,496
That woman seems deranged.

457
00:30:10,498 --> 00:30:12,631
Her face reminds me
of a death mask.

458
00:30:12,633 --> 00:30:15,002
"Deranged"? "Death mask"?

459
00:30:15,004 --> 00:30:17,204
You tell me
she's got halitosis,

460
00:30:17,206 --> 00:30:18,942
and I'm hearing wedding bells!

461
00:30:31,152 --> 00:30:36,223
Pugsley, this is
the Addams family saber.

462
00:30:36,225 --> 00:30:39,025
300 years of Addams

463
00:30:39,027 --> 00:30:42,130
have danced the Mazurka
with this blade.

464
00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:43,898
Uh-uh.

465
00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:46,500
Only when
you've shown me you're ready.

466
00:30:46,502 --> 00:30:52,039
Your father was the greatest
swordsman in Addams history.

467
00:30:52,041 --> 00:30:55,309
His Mazurka
was the stuff of legends.

468
00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:58,078
So no pressure!

469
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,580
It's all right here,
in the Mazurka handbook.

470
00:31:01,582 --> 00:31:05,051
Every Addams performs
this rite of passage

471
00:31:05,053 --> 00:31:08,421
to show that you're prepared
to defend your family.

472
00:31:08,423 --> 00:31:11,759
It sounds easy,
but believe me, it's insane!

473
00:31:11,761 --> 00:31:12,926
Fester, hand him

474
00:31:12,928 --> 00:31:14,863
the goo-goo-ga-ga
baby training sword.

475
00:31:15,663 --> 00:31:17,531
Pop?

476
00:31:17,533 --> 00:31:20,301
Has anyone
ever failed the Mazurka?

477
00:31:20,303 --> 00:31:22,235
Once.
Your third cousin, Xander.

478
00:31:22,237 --> 00:31:23,436
Never heard of him.

479
00:31:23,438 --> 00:31:24,871
Exactly.

480
00:31:24,873 --> 00:31:25,939
Music!

481
00:31:27,376 --> 00:31:28,841
There's someone at the door.

482
00:31:28,843 --> 00:31:32,446
Hi, guys. I'm going up
to this creepy mansion.

483
00:31:32,448 --> 00:31:35,418
If you don't hear from me
in 30 minutes, send backup.

484
00:31:41,823 --> 00:31:46,062
You rang?

485
00:31:51,065 --> 00:31:52,299
Yeah, no.

486
00:31:52,301 --> 00:31:54,201
Life's too short. See ya!

487
00:32:00,743 --> 00:32:02,074
Oh!

488
00:32:02,076 --> 00:32:04,578
Good morning, Kitty.

489
00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:06,249
Greetings, Ms. Needler.

490
00:32:09,451 --> 00:32:11,217
Wow.

491
00:32:11,219 --> 00:32:14,620
Good morning!
I hope this isn't a bad time.

492
00:32:14,622 --> 00:32:16,622
The worst. Do come in.

493
00:32:16,624 --> 00:32:17,724
Glenn?

494
00:32:21,263 --> 00:32:23,129
Welcome to the neighborhood.

495
00:32:23,131 --> 00:32:24,499
Thank you.

496
00:32:26,368 --> 00:32:28,502
Oh, my! Hmm.

497
00:32:28,504 --> 00:32:30,670
Are you ready
for your Margaux makeover?

498
00:32:30,672 --> 00:32:31,804
Quite.

499
00:32:31,806 --> 00:32:35,274
Pugsley's been climbing
the walls in anticipation.

500
00:32:39,415 --> 00:32:41,017
Well, well, well!

501
00:32:42,150 --> 00:32:43,817
Let's take a look around,
shall we?

502
00:32:43,819 --> 00:32:46,122
And before you say anything,
you're welcome.

503
00:32:47,156 --> 00:32:51,091
Now, if we're trying for
a more contemporary look,

504
00:32:51,093 --> 00:32:53,694
well, these sconces
have to go.

505
00:32:56,165 --> 00:32:58,764
The sconces were a gift
from dead relatives.

506
00:32:58,766 --> 00:32:59,966
If we get rid of them,

507
00:32:59,968 --> 00:33:02,938
they'll be terribly hurt
the next time they visit.

508
00:33:04,805 --> 00:33:07,340
And this is our whine cellar.

509
00:33:07,342 --> 00:33:10,343
We have a lovely
collection of whines.

510
00:33:10,345 --> 00:33:11,878
- <i>Are we there yet?</i>
- <i>I want ice cream!</i>

511
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,680
<i>What do you mean
you're out of avocado toast?</i>

512
00:33:13,682 --> 00:33:16,215
<i>This barrel
makes me look fat.</i>

513
00:33:16,217 --> 00:33:18,217
And here's our bottomless pit.

514
00:33:19,955 --> 00:33:22,188
Uh...
How do we get across?

515
00:33:22,190 --> 00:33:23,358
One moment.

516
00:33:36,671 --> 00:33:39,141
We call this surfing the web.

517
00:33:42,977 --> 00:33:44,580
Well!

518
00:33:45,247 --> 00:33:46,378
I'm scared.

519
00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:47,880
I'm so scared.

520
00:33:47,882 --> 00:33:50,818
Oh, my gosh.

521
00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,218
I'm scared
to close my eyes.

522
00:33:52,220 --> 00:33:53,320
I'm scared to open them.

523
00:34:13,842 --> 00:34:17,544
How do all those people fit
in that little contraption?

524
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,782
My vanity mirror only
imprisons 14 souls at a time.

525
00:34:23,119 --> 00:34:24,454
Uh, you don't
have a cell phone?

526
00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,686
That's weird.

527
00:34:26,688 --> 00:34:29,122
I may not have a cell phone...

528
00:34:29,124 --> 00:34:31,124
Well, you don't
have a crossbow,

529
00:34:31,126 --> 00:34:32,928
and I thought
everybody had one of those.

530
00:34:35,131 --> 00:34:36,199
Mmm.

531
00:34:36,898 --> 00:34:38,231
My name is Wednesday.

532
00:34:38,233 --> 00:34:39,332
Okay.

533
00:34:39,334 --> 00:34:43,236
Uh, I'm Parker.
How long have you lived here?

534
00:34:43,238 --> 00:34:47,774
My whole life.
Which seems endless.

535
00:34:47,776 --> 00:34:49,608
I've never
seen you at school.

536
00:34:49,610 --> 00:34:50,945
I'm cage-schooled.

537
00:34:50,947 --> 00:34:52,945
- Excuse me?
- It's terribly dull,

538
00:34:52,947 --> 00:34:54,382
but my mother insists.

539
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,754
I'm actually
cutting cage right now.

540
00:35:03,657 --> 00:35:04,925
Uh, okay.

541
00:35:04,927 --> 00:35:06,926
So, what happens
at your school?

542
00:35:06,928 --> 00:35:10,296
Uh, not much, just friends
turning on each other.

543
00:35:10,298 --> 00:35:12,999
Girls making other girls
feel bad about themselves.

544
00:35:13,001 --> 00:35:14,300
Typical junior high stuff.

545
00:35:14,302 --> 00:35:15,303
Intriguing.

546
00:35:18,673 --> 00:35:21,274
Can anyone go to your school?

547
00:35:21,276 --> 00:35:23,776
I guess so. But who'd want to?

548
00:35:23,778 --> 00:35:24,780
Wednesday!

549
00:35:25,581 --> 00:35:26,983
Great shot!

550
00:35:43,865 --> 00:35:47,466
Mr. and Mrs. Addams,
there's really not much to do

551
00:35:47,468 --> 00:35:49,269
to make this place perfect.

552
00:35:49,271 --> 00:35:52,604
All we have to do
is pull down the side walls,

553
00:35:52,606 --> 00:35:55,508
and then also break down
the other two walls.

554
00:35:56,678 --> 00:36:00,847
Open up the ceiling
by breaking it irreversibly.

555
00:36:00,849 --> 00:36:03,649
Just get this nasty little
floor out of the way,

556
00:36:03,651 --> 00:36:07,519
and there you go. With just
those little touches...

557
00:36:07,521 --> 00:36:09,789
Stop! Right there!

558
00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:11,658
Don't touch another thing!

559
00:36:11,660 --> 00:36:15,762
It's perfect.
Ms. Needler, you have a gift.

560
00:36:15,764 --> 00:36:18,631
The good news is I can have
a makeover crew up here

561
00:36:18,633 --> 00:36:20,800
and swinging hammers
first thing in the morning.

562
00:36:20,802 --> 00:36:21,803
What do you say?

563
00:36:22,671 --> 00:36:24,336
We thought you were finished.

564
00:36:24,338 --> 00:36:26,372
Our whole family
is coming in two weeks.

565
00:36:26,374 --> 00:36:27,740
Our finale!

566
00:36:27,742 --> 00:36:30,176
Our finale is in two weeks.

567
00:36:30,178 --> 00:36:31,745
Thank you, Glenn.

568
00:36:31,747 --> 00:36:33,680
It's a gracious offer,
Ms. Needler,

569
00:36:33,682 --> 00:36:35,082
but you really
have done enough.

570
00:36:35,084 --> 00:36:38,187
It's our son's Mazurka.
You understand.

571
00:36:38,553 --> 00:36:39,722
Thank you.

572
00:36:44,526 --> 00:36:45,992
Uh, we're missing Mitch.

573
00:36:45,994 --> 00:36:46,996
Where's Mitch?

574
00:36:47,762 --> 00:36:51,700
<i>Get out!</i>

575
00:36:52,767 --> 00:36:54,734
Mitch who?

576
00:36:57,039 --> 00:36:59,071
Gomez, I'll be blunt.

577
00:36:59,073 --> 00:37:02,242
I have 50 houses
to sell down there,

578
00:37:02,244 --> 00:37:07,713
and their view of your
property is, well, off-brand.

579
00:37:07,715 --> 00:37:10,917
- Fifty houses?
- Yes.

580
00:37:10,919 --> 00:37:12,619
You know,
ever since my family

581
00:37:12,621 --> 00:37:14,653
was chased out
from the old country,

582
00:37:14,655 --> 00:37:18,024
my one dream has been

583
00:37:17,059 --> 00:37:19,725
to find a place
we could call home.

584
00:37:19,727 --> 00:37:22,595
Once they see Assimilation,

585
00:37:22,597 --> 00:37:25,231
I think they'll
want to stay for good.

586
00:37:26,535 --> 00:37:30,403
Thank you so much
for coming by, Membrane.

587
00:37:30,405 --> 00:37:31,738
It's Margaux!

588
00:37:31,740 --> 00:37:34,106
Well then, run, Margaux!

589
00:37:34,108 --> 00:37:36,778
Run, run, run!

590
00:37:42,985 --> 00:37:45,718
That Wednesday girl
is a freak.

591
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:49,088
We're about to be invaded
by a whole army of freaks.

592
00:37:49,090 --> 00:37:50,990
It's tragic when people
can't accept

593
00:37:50,992 --> 00:37:53,359
the help they so badly need.

594
00:37:53,361 --> 00:37:54,861
And when that happens,

595
00:37:54,863 --> 00:37:58,234
well, another kind of
intervention is called for.

596
00:37:59,934 --> 00:38:01,667
I agree, Gomez.

597
00:38:01,669 --> 00:38:04,504
The whole family moving here
would be a dream come true.

598
00:38:04,506 --> 00:38:06,740
But I don't trust
that Margaux woman.

599
00:38:06,742 --> 00:38:09,778
She's an eccentric, darling,
give her a chance.

600
00:38:10,579 --> 00:38:13,613
"Rasp-berry preserves."

601
00:38:13,615 --> 00:38:14,814
Mmm.

602
00:38:14,816 --> 00:38:17,816
Must be some kind
of scented embalming fluid.

603
00:38:19,787 --> 00:38:22,256
Wednesday,
practice your lurking

604
00:38:22,258 --> 00:38:24,258
on someone
other than your father.

605
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,461
He's too easy.

606
00:38:27,595 --> 00:38:28,829
Much better.

607
00:38:28,831 --> 00:38:31,597
Mother, Father,
I'd like to speak with you.

608
00:38:31,599 --> 00:38:34,200
What's on your mind,
my little nightcrawler?

609
00:38:34,202 --> 00:38:35,936
I spoke with Parker
this afternoon.

610
00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:38,537
She's the daughter
of that talking mannequin

611
00:38:38,539 --> 00:38:39,872
who came by.

612
00:38:39,874 --> 00:38:41,707
She told me about
a communal school

613
00:38:41,709 --> 00:38:43,376
all the neighborhood children
attend.

614
00:38:43,378 --> 00:38:45,979
It's called "junior high."

615
00:38:45,981 --> 00:38:48,682
"Junior high"...

616
00:38:48,684 --> 00:38:51,184
Yes, yes,
I have read about those

617
00:38:51,186 --> 00:38:53,620
in my abnormal
psychology journals.

618
00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:55,521
Anyone of age can enroll.

619
00:38:55,523 --> 00:38:59,626
I think it would be
good for me.

620
00:38:59,628 --> 00:39:01,995
Well, I think
it's a capital idea.

621
00:39:01,997 --> 00:39:03,296
What of your studies here?

622
00:39:03,298 --> 00:39:06,131
Your taxidermy
is coming along so well.

623
00:39:06,133 --> 00:39:08,535
Mother,
would you really deprive me

624
00:39:08,537 --> 00:39:11,838
of the opportunity to torment
children my own age?

625
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,307
Ah, she makes a point.

626
00:39:14,309 --> 00:39:16,341
What's more,
with Wednesday in school,

627
00:39:16,343 --> 00:39:19,014
we'd get to know
the people here even better.

628
00:39:19,414 --> 00:39:21,082
Well, Mother?

629
00:39:35,097 --> 00:39:37,332
Have a good day
at school, dear.

630
00:39:39,101 --> 00:39:40,403
Do your worst!

631
00:39:46,207 --> 00:39:50,412
Ah. Now I understand.
This is a children's prison.

632
00:39:53,215 --> 00:39:54,883
Who's that?

633
00:39:55,517 --> 00:39:57,052
Great.

634
00:39:58,352 --> 00:39:59,454
This is Wednesday.

635
00:39:59,787 --> 00:40:01,921
Hello.

636
00:40:01,923 --> 00:40:03,624
Hey, Parker.

637
00:40:05,026 --> 00:40:07,129
I got something for ya.

638
00:40:09,064 --> 00:40:10,896
A moldy sandwich?

639
00:40:10,898 --> 00:40:12,731
You're slipping, Bethany.

640
00:40:12,733 --> 00:40:14,566
You know what?
You're right.

641
00:40:14,568 --> 00:40:17,305
Let's kick it up a notch.

642
00:40:25,113 --> 00:40:27,381
You have no sense of humor!

643
00:40:28,584 --> 00:40:30,649
- Did you see her face?
- I know.

644
00:40:30,651 --> 00:40:31,653
Bethany, is it?

645
00:40:32,921 --> 00:40:37,256
Don't cut your eyes on my crew
unless you're ready to dance.

646
00:40:37,258 --> 00:40:41,162
What did you say,
little ghoul?

647
00:40:41,963 --> 00:40:44,396
I don't think you understand.

648
00:40:44,398 --> 00:40:47,600
I'm not locked up in here
with you, Bethany.

649
00:40:47,602 --> 00:40:51,803
You're locked up in here
with me.

650
00:40:55,642 --> 00:40:56,811
Whatever.

651
00:40:59,079 --> 00:41:00,613
What did you do?

652
00:41:00,615 --> 00:41:01,981
You shouldn't have said that.

653
00:41:01,983 --> 00:41:05,318
There's nothing you can do.
Bethany's way too popular.

654
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,086
Popularity is fleeting.

655
00:41:07,088 --> 00:41:08,821
I prefer to set my sights

656
00:41:08,823 --> 00:41:11,291
on something
a little more challenging.

657
00:41:11,293 --> 00:41:12,959
Like what?

658
00:41:12,961 --> 00:41:15,264
The establishment.

659
00:41:31,345 --> 00:41:35,615
Let's see.
Who shall I be today?

660
00:41:35,617 --> 00:41:36,849
How about...

661
00:41:36,851 --> 00:41:39,486
Ah, Shelly Longbottom,
on Sugar Ridge Lane.

662
00:41:39,488 --> 00:41:42,457
From Shelly Longbottom
to everyone,

663
00:41:43,124 --> 00:41:45,291
"Did you hear

664
00:41:45,293 --> 00:41:48,695
"about those Addams people?"
Question mark.

665
00:41:48,697 --> 00:41:52,401
"Someone told me
they're wanted in 30 states."

666
00:41:55,537 --> 00:41:58,338
You know they're raising
a garden of man-eating plants?

667
00:41:58,340 --> 00:41:59,838
And feeding them our pets!

668
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,874
Has anyone seen
my Shih Tzu Fee-fee?

669
00:42:01,876 --> 00:42:04,042
They're gonna turn us
all into zombies.

670
00:42:04,044 --> 00:42:05,678
Where are they from anyways?

671
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:06,812
It doesn't matter!

672
00:42:06,814 --> 00:42:08,481
It's obvious
they don't belong here.

673
00:42:08,483 --> 00:42:11,517
Honey! Oh, those awful people
up on the hill.

674
00:42:11,519 --> 00:42:13,553
They're not even
on Neighborhood Peeps!

675
00:42:13,555 --> 00:42:15,088
Well, that's suspicious.

676
00:42:15,090 --> 00:42:16,988
<i>If other people
are scared, then I'm scared.</i>

677
00:42:16,990 --> 00:42:18,323
<i>I believe
everything I read.</i>

678
00:42:18,325 --> 00:42:19,992
<i>If someone posted it,</i>

679
00:42:19,994 --> 00:42:21,361
<i>it must be true.</i>

680
00:42:21,363 --> 00:42:22,595
<i>You invite
one family in,</i>

681
00:42:22,597 --> 00:42:23,696
<i>then all the families come in.</i>

682
00:42:23,698 --> 00:42:24,865
<i>Do you think
we should investigate?</i>

683
00:42:24,867 --> 00:42:25,932
<i>I'm turning grey.</i>

684
00:42:25,934 --> 00:42:27,566
<i>I'm worried
for the children!</i>

685
00:42:27,568 --> 00:42:29,237
<i>We need
to talk to Margaux!</i>

686
00:42:32,372 --> 00:42:34,407
Open your books. Page 43.

687
00:42:34,409 --> 00:42:36,274
Follow the instructions.

688
00:42:36,276 --> 00:42:38,410
- Yuck.
- Oh.

689
00:42:38,412 --> 00:42:40,546
I've done this
thousands of times.

690
00:42:44,887 --> 00:42:45,888
Huh?

691
00:42:56,432 --> 00:42:57,967
Flip the switch!

692
00:43:16,617 --> 00:43:20,288
Give my creature life!

693
00:43:26,628 --> 00:43:30,064
Live!
Live, I tell you, live!

694
00:43:48,316 --> 00:43:51,352
It's alive! It's alive!

695
00:44:09,436 --> 00:44:11,970
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Get them off me!

696
00:44:20,481 --> 00:44:22,682
Zombie frogs!

697
00:44:22,684 --> 00:44:24,620
Bethany's changed her look.

698
00:44:25,019 --> 00:44:26,184
It suits her.

699
00:44:26,186 --> 00:44:28,720
Awesome. Totally awesome.

700
00:44:28,722 --> 00:44:30,122
It is an honor...

701
00:44:30,124 --> 00:44:31,291
...and a privilege...

702
00:44:31,293 --> 00:44:32,459
...to watch you work.

703
00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:35,062
Hey. Do you wanna
go to the mall?

704
00:44:35,064 --> 00:44:38,898
Why not? I haven't seen
a good mauling in ages.

705
00:45:00,153 --> 00:45:02,921
It's late. I'm worried.

706
00:45:02,923 --> 00:45:05,224
Darling,
Wednesday will be fine.

707
00:45:05,226 --> 00:45:06,725
She can take care of herself.

708
00:45:06,727 --> 00:45:09,028
It's not Wednesday
I'm worried about.

709
00:45:09,030 --> 00:45:12,231
It's the rest of them. We may
need to provide an alibi.

710
00:45:12,233 --> 00:45:14,700
My love, it's game night.

711
00:45:14,702 --> 00:45:15,901
Wednesday will be home soon,

712
00:45:15,903 --> 00:45:18,039
so why don't you
come and join us?

713
00:45:18,773 --> 00:45:21,874
Oh, very well. F-6.

714
00:45:21,876 --> 00:45:24,242
Pugsley,
you heard your mother.

715
00:45:24,244 --> 00:45:26,247
Blow F-6!

716
00:45:28,082 --> 00:45:29,515
Fire in the hole!

717
00:45:29,517 --> 00:45:31,517
I'm king of the world!

718
00:45:31,519 --> 00:45:34,720
<i>Near, far, wherever...</i>

719
00:45:42,229 --> 00:45:43,729
Yes!

720
00:45:43,731 --> 00:45:45,432
You sunk my battleship.

721
00:45:45,434 --> 00:45:47,736
Ha-ha! Well done, Pugsley!

722
00:45:56,644 --> 00:45:58,477
Hello, my uglies!

723
00:45:58,479 --> 00:46:02,148
Mother! I thought
I felt my skin crawling!

724
00:46:03,918 --> 00:46:05,885
Grandma, what a surprise.

725
00:46:05,887 --> 00:46:07,486
I thought you were in Prague.

726
00:46:07,488 --> 00:46:08,921
I was!

727
00:46:08,923 --> 00:46:11,423
They caught me smuggling
crocodiles out of the zoo.

728
00:46:11,425 --> 00:46:13,093
But I escaped
and talked my way

729
00:46:13,095 --> 00:46:14,894
onto a Somali pirate ship.

730
00:46:14,896 --> 00:46:16,495
We got into
a heated poker game

731
00:46:16,497 --> 00:46:18,832
and I cleaned them out.

732
00:46:18,834 --> 00:46:20,666
- Cheating or robbery?
- Both!

733
00:46:20,668 --> 00:46:22,468
Always remember, Pugsley,

734
00:46:22,470 --> 00:46:25,504
it ain't cheating
if no one catches you.

735
00:46:25,506 --> 00:46:27,941
I haven't bathed
in two weeks. Ugh.

736
00:46:27,943 --> 00:46:29,309
Or is it months?

737
00:46:29,311 --> 00:46:31,343
Ha! That reminds me.

738
00:46:31,345 --> 00:46:33,280
Guess what I've got, Pugsley?

739
00:46:33,282 --> 00:46:35,682
- Candy!
- Oh, yes!

740
00:46:35,684 --> 00:46:37,751
But the Mazurka
isn't for a week.

741
00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:39,417
Why are you here so early?

742
00:46:39,419 --> 00:46:42,122
Gomez said you needed
a little help with the party.

743
00:46:42,124 --> 00:46:45,191
And I said, I got my son ready
for his Mazurka,

744
00:46:45,193 --> 00:46:48,794
so of course, I'm going to do
the same for my grandson.

745
00:46:48,796 --> 00:46:50,129
I love him!

746
00:46:50,131 --> 00:46:52,131
It's true! I sent for her!

747
00:46:52,133 --> 00:46:53,899
I can't believe you bothered

748
00:46:53,901 --> 00:46:55,503
your mother with that,
darling.

749
00:46:56,003 --> 00:46:57,169
Neither can I?

750
00:46:57,171 --> 00:46:58,870
He said you were
in over your head.

751
00:46:58,872 --> 00:47:00,039
Thank you, Mother!

752
00:47:00,041 --> 00:47:02,374
Said you were more tense
than he's ever seen you.

753
00:47:02,376 --> 00:47:04,776
- I didn't say that exactly.
- Yes, you did.

754
00:47:04,778 --> 00:47:06,546
You said that exactly.

755
00:47:06,548 --> 00:47:07,680
Said he was worried

756
00:47:07,682 --> 00:47:10,149
you'd have a massive facial
expression and...

757
00:47:10,151 --> 00:47:12,050
You know, I'm starving!
Let's eat!

758
00:47:12,052 --> 00:47:14,854
Not until Wednesday gets home.

759
00:47:14,856 --> 00:47:17,356
Where is that
granddaughter of mine?

760
00:47:17,358 --> 00:47:19,160
I got something for her!

761
00:47:20,996 --> 00:47:23,562
Ah, there's my
little storm cloud!

762
00:47:23,564 --> 00:47:26,064
Wednesday,
where have you been?

763
00:47:26,066 --> 00:47:27,367
Elsewhere.

764
00:47:37,512 --> 00:47:39,211
What are you wearing?

765
00:47:39,213 --> 00:47:41,747
Parker calls it
a pop of color.

766
00:47:41,749 --> 00:47:43,349
While I certainly
appreciate a horse

767
00:47:43,351 --> 00:47:44,517
with a spear
through its head,

768
00:47:44,519 --> 00:47:45,584
the color is...

769
00:47:45,586 --> 00:47:47,586
She claims
it brings out my smile.

770
00:47:47,588 --> 00:47:49,988
Wednesday,
you don't have a smile.

771
00:47:49,990 --> 00:47:51,524
Turns out
I have a lot of things

772
00:47:51,526 --> 00:47:52,828
you don't know about.

773
00:47:56,865 --> 00:47:58,898
I see I got here just in time.

774
00:47:58,900 --> 00:48:00,633
You were right to call, Gomez.

775
00:48:00,635 --> 00:48:02,869
I'll talk to her.
Hand me that bear trap.

776
00:48:02,871 --> 00:48:06,275
Thank you, Grandma.
But I will handle this.

777
00:48:06,874 --> 00:48:08,276
Ah, suit yourself.

778
00:48:11,378 --> 00:48:14,814
When you're done with Fabio,
send him up to my room.

779
00:48:14,816 --> 00:48:17,052
- Ooh-hoo-hoo.
- Oh, boy!

780
00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,419
Wednesday.

781
00:48:21,421 --> 00:48:23,756
How would you like
to join me tomorrow

782
00:48:23,758 --> 00:48:28,294
after the school for tea
and séance in the cemetery?

783
00:48:28,296 --> 00:48:30,028
Is attendance mandatory?

784
00:48:30,030 --> 00:48:31,731
Come now, my little raven.

785
00:48:31,733 --> 00:48:34,200
You did so love it
when you were younger.

786
00:48:34,202 --> 00:48:35,570
If you like, Mother.

787
00:48:37,738 --> 00:48:39,439
Sleep well, dear.

788
00:48:39,441 --> 00:48:41,977
Don't forget to kick
your father good night.

789
00:48:47,314 --> 00:48:48,747
What's your
favorite filter?

790
00:48:48,749 --> 00:48:52,051
I don't know. I look black
and white in all of them.

791
00:48:52,053 --> 00:48:53,385
You know,
when I met you,

792
00:48:53,387 --> 00:48:55,120
I thought you were
super weird.

793
00:48:55,122 --> 00:48:56,921
But now,
I think you're really cool.

794
00:48:56,923 --> 00:48:58,157
I concur.

795
00:48:58,159 --> 00:49:00,325
You're not completely devoid
of merit yourself.

796
00:49:00,327 --> 00:49:02,430
I wanna say "thank you"...

797
00:49:04,898 --> 00:49:05,965
Oh, how'd that barrette

798
00:49:05,967 --> 00:49:07,399
you bought yesterday
go over at home?

799
00:49:07,401 --> 00:49:11,671
Actually, my mother's reaction
was, well, unexpected.

800
00:49:11,673 --> 00:49:15,307
She was accepting.
It depressed me.

801
00:49:15,309 --> 00:49:18,611
One never wants to see
one's mother that way.

802
00:49:18,613 --> 00:49:19,812
But I must admit,

803
00:49:19,814 --> 00:49:24,682
walking around in something
so garish, so grotesque...

804
00:49:24,684 --> 00:49:26,785
I was shocked
how thrilling it felt.

805
00:49:26,787 --> 00:49:29,354
I wish
I could do that.

806
00:49:29,356 --> 00:49:31,090
But my mom makes me
wear this stuff,

807
00:49:31,092 --> 00:49:33,093
and it's just so...

808
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:37,296
I believe the word you're
looking for is "unfortunate."

809
00:49:37,298 --> 00:49:40,700
Ugh. I'd love to
just go crazy

810
00:49:40,702 --> 00:49:43,271
and wear something
that would shock her.

811
00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:45,671
Well, Parker,

812
00:49:45,673 --> 00:49:46,838
you're in luck.

813
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,211
You happen to be talking
to the queen of shock.

814
00:50:11,298 --> 00:50:12,463
Hello, Mother.

815
00:50:12,465 --> 00:50:14,633
<i>Where's my little wraith?</i>

816
00:50:14,635 --> 00:50:16,568
Wednesday
still hasn't arrived.

817
00:50:16,570 --> 00:50:19,204
We agreed to come up here
for tea and séance,

818
00:50:19,206 --> 00:50:21,840
and now it seems
she stood me up.

819
00:50:21,842 --> 00:50:23,575
<i>Morticia!
Can you hear me?</i>

820
00:50:23,577 --> 00:50:24,977
<i>You're not doing it right.</i>

821
00:50:24,979 --> 00:50:26,312
- <i>Press that button there.</i>
- <i>I did! I did!</i>

822
00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:27,379
<i>Did you hear it click?</i>

823
00:50:27,381 --> 00:50:28,479
<i>Morticia!</i>

824
00:50:28,481 --> 00:50:29,615
<i>It's supposed to be on</i>

825
00:50:29,617 --> 00:50:31,017
- <i>when you hear the click.</i>
- <i>Wait, I see something.</i>

826
00:50:31,019 --> 00:50:32,718
- <i>You did it!</i>
- <i>Hello, darling!</i>

827
00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:34,486
<i>Now, where's my granddaughter?</i>

828
00:50:34,488 --> 00:50:35,921
Just what I said.

829
00:50:35,923 --> 00:50:38,057
I think she's distancing
herself from me.

830
00:50:38,059 --> 00:50:39,691
<i>Oh,
she's wrapped in a black hole</i>

831
00:50:39,693 --> 00:50:40,992
<i>of emptiness and longing,</i>

832
00:50:40,994 --> 00:50:42,528
<i>like all of us Frump women.</i>

833
00:50:42,530 --> 00:50:44,963
- <i>Wednesday?
- It's not Wednesday!</i>

834
00:50:44,965 --> 00:50:46,999
- <i>Who's this?</i>
- It's me, Father.

835
00:50:47,001 --> 00:50:48,066
<i>Morticia?</i>

836
00:50:48,068 --> 00:50:50,436
<i>What's wrong with you now?</i>

837
00:50:50,438 --> 00:50:52,537
The world can be so cruel.

838
00:50:52,539 --> 00:50:55,173
And all she wants to do
is run toward it.

839
00:50:55,175 --> 00:50:57,041
<i>She's a lot like you that way.</i>

840
00:50:57,043 --> 00:50:58,510
<i>You wanted to see the world.</i>

841
00:50:58,512 --> 00:51:00,680
<i>Find yourself.
Serve time!</i>

842
00:51:00,682 --> 00:51:03,615
<i>Listen,
Morticia, remember the time</i>

843
00:51:03,617 --> 00:51:06,619
<i>you ran away
and joined the Girl Scouts?</i>

844
00:51:06,621 --> 00:51:10,189
<i>We were so worried
you were on a bad path.</i>

845
00:51:10,191 --> 00:51:12,624
<i>But when you found out
that campfires</i>

846
00:51:12,626 --> 00:51:15,928
<i>were for roasting marshmallows
and not other Girl Scouts,</i>

847
00:51:15,930 --> 00:51:17,930
<i>well, you got bored
and you came home.</i>

848
00:51:17,932 --> 00:51:20,233
<i>We were so relieved.</i>

849
00:51:20,235 --> 00:51:21,700
<i>Trust Wednesday.</i>

850
00:51:21,702 --> 00:51:24,803
<i>Like you,
she'll do the right thing.</i>

851
00:51:24,805 --> 00:51:28,374
Thank you, Father.
That's most comforting.

852
00:51:28,376 --> 00:51:30,408
<i>Good.
Wait a second.</i>

853
00:51:30,410 --> 00:51:31,642
<i>When did I die?</i>

854
00:51:31,644 --> 00:51:33,146
<i>20 years ago.</i>

855
00:51:33,148 --> 00:51:35,914
<i>Oh, right.
Happy anniversary, darling.</i>

856
00:51:35,916 --> 00:51:39,551
All right, Pugsley, let's,
uh, go through it again.

857
00:51:39,553 --> 00:51:42,655
You got this, Pugsley.
This Mazurka's nothing.

858
00:51:44,492 --> 00:51:47,425
You eat swords for breakfast.

859
00:51:47,427 --> 00:51:50,095
You just got a case
of pre-ball jitters.

860
00:51:50,097 --> 00:51:52,263
It's way more common
than you think.

861
00:51:52,265 --> 00:51:54,834
If a Mazurka lasts
for more than four hours,

862
00:51:54,836 --> 00:51:56,438
contact your doctor.

863
00:51:57,805 --> 00:51:59,841
From the top.
Music!

864
00:52:14,655 --> 00:52:15,820
Pugsley,

865
00:52:15,822 --> 00:52:17,455
I can honestly say

866
00:52:17,457 --> 00:52:21,593
that was most definitely
a thing you did.

867
00:52:21,595 --> 00:52:24,863
A question,
what in heaven's name was it?

868
00:52:24,865 --> 00:52:26,265
The Sabre Mazurka.

869
00:52:28,702 --> 00:52:31,104
You know what?
You've been practicing hard.

870
00:52:31,106 --> 00:52:33,205
Why don't we
call it a day? Hmm?

871
00:52:33,207 --> 00:52:35,207
Hit the showers, kid.

872
00:52:35,209 --> 00:52:36,575
So, we're finished?

873
00:52:36,577 --> 00:52:37,843
Ah, yes.

874
00:52:37,845 --> 00:52:41,613
Yes, son. We are
most certainly finished.

875
00:52:41,615 --> 00:52:43,582
Mmm. Okay. Thanks, Pop.

876
00:52:43,584 --> 00:52:45,020
Thanks, Uncle Fester.

877
00:52:49,657 --> 00:52:53,693
This is a complete disaster!
How did this happen?

878
00:52:53,695 --> 00:52:55,193
And he's going
to make a fool of himself

879
00:52:55,195 --> 00:52:56,495
in front of everyone!

880
00:52:56,497 --> 00:52:58,530
Gomez, you gotta calm down!

881
00:52:58,532 --> 00:53:00,800
There's still a day
to get him ready!

882
00:53:00,802 --> 00:53:04,437
Fester, a year wouldn't be
enough to get him ready.

883
00:53:04,439 --> 00:53:06,506
I've failed him, Fester.

884
00:53:06,508 --> 00:53:11,142
I tried to raise him to be
an Addams, but I failed.

885
00:53:11,144 --> 00:53:13,914
They're going
to eat him alive.

886
00:53:15,916 --> 00:53:18,983
<i>I like it like that
Ooh, baby</i>

887
00:53:18,985 --> 00:53:21,019
<i>I said I like it like that</i>

888
00:53:21,021 --> 00:53:25,124
<i>Ooh, baby,
I like it like that</i>

889
00:53:25,126 --> 00:53:27,359
All right. Thank you.

890
00:53:27,361 --> 00:53:29,762
Grandma,
we already have a band.

891
00:53:29,764 --> 00:53:32,164
They came highly recommended
from the mortuary.

892
00:53:32,166 --> 00:53:33,465
Oh.

893
00:53:33,467 --> 00:53:35,501
I'm sure
they're good.

894
00:53:35,503 --> 00:53:38,370
My sister Sloom is
going to be judging Pugsley.

895
00:53:38,372 --> 00:53:40,273
And if things aren't done
the traditional way,

896
00:53:40,275 --> 00:53:41,840
she won't be happy,

897
00:53:41,842 --> 00:53:44,109
and the Mazurka
could be a disaster!

898
00:53:44,111 --> 00:53:46,113
But what do I know?

899
00:53:46,414 --> 00:53:47,546
Fine.

900
00:53:47,548 --> 00:53:48,948
Yay, we got the gig!

901
00:53:48,950 --> 00:53:50,048
We got it!

902
00:53:50,050 --> 00:53:51,550
Ah, one more thing...

903
00:53:51,552 --> 00:53:54,919
Oh, someone's at the door.
I'd better go see who it is.

904
00:54:01,896 --> 00:54:05,597
<i>What's so great
about being yourself</i>

905
00:54:05,599 --> 00:54:09,734
<i>When you can be like
everyone else?</i>

906
00:54:09,736 --> 00:54:12,271
Do not speak
to your mother that way.

907
00:54:12,273 --> 00:54:14,805
How dare you
enter this house like that.

908
00:54:14,807 --> 00:54:16,945
Wait, where are your tattoos?

909
00:54:19,380 --> 00:54:20,812
Oh, thank the stars!

910
00:54:20,814 --> 00:54:23,381
- Where were you?
- Hanging out with Parker.

911
00:54:23,383 --> 00:54:26,151
Is this why you skipped
tea and séance?

912
00:54:26,153 --> 00:54:28,153
Your grandparents
were trying to contact you.

913
00:54:28,155 --> 00:54:29,454
Holy Hades!

914
00:54:29,456 --> 00:54:31,057
Whoever did that to you,
Wednesday,

915
00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:33,425
I hope the other guy
looks worse.

916
00:54:33,427 --> 00:54:36,361
Nobody did this to me.
This is my new look.

917
00:54:36,363 --> 00:54:37,629
Do you like it?

918
00:54:37,631 --> 00:54:38,731
I do not like it.

919
00:54:38,733 --> 00:54:40,932
Everyone knows pink
is a gateway color.

920
00:54:40,934 --> 00:54:43,769
I warned you about sending her
to public school.

921
00:54:43,771 --> 00:54:44,836
Don't worry.

922
00:54:44,838 --> 00:54:46,570
Wednesday is never
going to that school again.

923
00:54:46,572 --> 00:54:47,905
- What?
- In fact,

924
00:54:47,907 --> 00:54:50,311
she's never leaving
this house again.

925
00:54:53,447 --> 00:54:56,515
Wow, that's some evil eye
she's got there.

926
00:54:56,517 --> 00:54:59,651
No, that dead-eye stare
is new.

927
00:54:59,653 --> 00:55:01,854
And I think I know
where she got it.

928
00:55:01,856 --> 00:55:04,590
Hey, guys, this is me now.

929
00:55:04,592 --> 00:55:07,593
If you like it, hit "like,"
but who cares if you like it.

930
00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:09,028
I'm living my truth.

931
00:55:09,030 --> 00:55:10,798
Parker?

932
00:55:12,298 --> 00:55:14,369
- Who did this to you?
- I did.

933
00:55:15,102 --> 00:55:17,102
This is my new look, Mother.

934
00:55:17,104 --> 00:55:21,673
I decided that from now on,
I choose my clothes, not you.

935
00:55:21,675 --> 00:55:25,077
Argh! This is that little
creep Wednesday Addams' work!

936
00:55:25,079 --> 00:55:28,347
She's not a creep.
She's just not like you.

937
00:55:28,349 --> 00:55:30,216
Why can't you ever let
people be different?

938
00:55:30,218 --> 00:55:34,486
Because it's my calling
to make everyone the same.

939
00:55:34,488 --> 00:55:38,390
Too bright!
It burns!

940
00:55:38,392 --> 00:55:41,292
Good! Maybe it'll burn away
the weird!

941
00:55:41,294 --> 00:55:42,494
I hate it here!

942
00:55:42,496 --> 00:55:44,495
Everything's boring
and fake and bright,

943
00:55:44,497 --> 00:55:46,231
like plastic flowers!

944
00:55:46,233 --> 00:55:47,466
Like you!

945
00:55:47,468 --> 00:55:51,504
Parker!
Plastic flowers live forever.

946
00:55:51,506 --> 00:55:53,808
Now, you go think
about that in your room.

947
00:55:54,407 --> 00:55:56,508
With no social media.

948
00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:58,977
No! Please, no.
Anything but that!

949
00:55:58,979 --> 00:56:01,646
Now go wipe that depressing
goop off your face.

950
00:56:01,648 --> 00:56:03,414
You first!

951
00:56:03,416 --> 00:56:07,553
Oh! Those Addamses
have gone too far this time.

952
00:56:07,555 --> 00:56:10,592
I think they're going to need
a little more help.

953
00:56:26,374 --> 00:56:27,542
Hey!

954
00:56:29,510 --> 00:56:31,376
Where are you going?

955
00:56:31,378 --> 00:56:32,945
A friend's.

956
00:56:32,947 --> 00:56:37,249
I hold people prisoner,
not the other way around.

957
00:56:37,251 --> 00:56:39,350
Good luck with your Mazurka.

958
00:56:39,352 --> 00:56:41,754
Wait, you're leaving?

959
00:56:41,756 --> 00:56:43,555
Who's gonna torment me
every day?

960
00:56:43,557 --> 00:56:46,758
Living under this roof is
all the torment you'll need.

961
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,026
Besides, our parents
have made it clear

962
00:56:49,028 --> 00:56:51,796
that the only way
to be accepted in this family

963
00:56:51,798 --> 00:56:54,733
is to be exactly like them.

964
00:56:54,735 --> 00:56:57,102
I can't play
by those rules anymore.

965
00:56:57,104 --> 00:56:59,637
Farewell, brother Pugsley.

966
00:56:59,639 --> 00:57:01,542
Tomorrow, you become a man.

967
00:57:02,075 --> 00:57:04,311
And I become a fugitive.

968
00:57:05,979 --> 00:57:08,713
Always kinda knew
it'd end up like this.

969
00:57:08,715 --> 00:57:11,249
Just didn't think
it'd be so soon.

970
00:57:11,251 --> 00:57:13,718
I'll never
forget you, Pugsley!

971
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,553
But I'll try.

972
00:57:15,555 --> 00:57:18,657
Pugsley, have you seen
your sister?

973
00:57:18,659 --> 00:57:20,258
She's not in her room.

974
00:57:20,260 --> 00:57:21,827
Mmm...

975
00:57:21,829 --> 00:57:24,164
Pugsley. Where's Wednesday?

976
00:57:24,731 --> 00:57:26,099
Um... Tsk.

977
00:57:27,834 --> 00:57:32,236
Tick, tock,
tick, tock, Mother.

978
00:57:32,238 --> 00:57:35,006
You're getting very sleepy.

979
00:57:35,008 --> 00:57:36,240
Pugsley...

980
00:57:36,242 --> 00:57:39,979
She did not go
to her friend's house.

981
00:57:39,981 --> 00:57:41,814
She went to
her friend's house?

982
00:57:41,816 --> 00:57:45,684
I repeat, she did not
go to her friend's...

983
00:58:12,046 --> 00:58:15,617
<i>When the day is long</i>

984
00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:19,220
<i>And the night</i>

985
00:58:19,887 --> 00:58:22,323
<i>The night is yours alone</i>

986
00:58:27,561 --> 00:58:28,959
<i>When you're sure</i>

987
00:58:28,961 --> 00:58:31,532
<i>You've had enough</i>

988
00:58:33,066 --> 00:58:35,235
<i>Of this life</i>

989
00:58:37,070 --> 00:58:39,140
<i>Hang on</i>

990
00:58:42,809 --> 00:58:46,514
<i>Don't let yourself go</i>

991
00:58:50,418 --> 00:58:54,088
<i>'Cause everybody cries</i>

992
00:58:58,191 --> 00:59:03,160
<i>And everybody hurts</i>

993
00:59:04,564 --> 00:59:06,532
<i>Sometimes</i>

994
00:59:06,534 --> 00:59:09,202
I shall be staying with you
for a while.

995
00:59:10,104 --> 00:59:13,942
<i>Everybody hurts</i>

996
00:59:18,111 --> 00:59:19,343
<i>If this doesn't work,</i>

997
00:59:19,345 --> 00:59:21,379
<i>the next house we flip
is gonna land on you.</i>

998
00:59:21,381 --> 00:59:22,580
Marty, listen to me.

999
00:59:22,582 --> 00:59:25,184
Tomorrow, our finale
will be the biggest half hour

1000
00:59:25,186 --> 00:59:26,919
your network has ever aired.

1001
00:59:26,921 --> 00:59:29,088
There's just one more thing
to take care of.

1002
00:59:29,090 --> 00:59:30,555
<i>This better be good
or you won't be able</i>

1003
00:59:30,557 --> 00:59:31,791
<i>to get a job as a doormat.</i>

1004
00:59:31,793 --> 00:59:32,925
Yes, yes, yes.

1005
00:59:32,927 --> 00:59:36,396
I intend to bring
the house down.

1006
00:59:50,311 --> 00:59:51,977
<i>When the pimp's in the crib ma</i>

1007
00:59:51,979 --> 00:59:54,546
<i>Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot</i>

1008
00:59:54,548 --> 00:59:55,814
<i>Drop it like it's hot</i>

1009
00:59:55,816 --> 00:59:57,283
<i>When the pigs try
to get at you</i>

1010
00:59:57,285 --> 00:59:59,783
<i>Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot</i>

1011
00:59:59,785 --> 01:00:00,952
<i>Park it like it's hot</i>

1012
01:00:00,954 --> 01:00:02,421
<i>And if a... get a attitude</i>

1013
01:00:02,423 --> 01:00:04,756
<i>Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot</i>

1014
01:00:04,758 --> 01:00:05,890
<i>Pop it like it's hot</i>

1015
01:00:05,892 --> 01:00:08,561
<i>I got the Rolly on my arm
and I'm pouring Chandon</i>

1016
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:11,633
<i>And I roll the best...
'cause I got it going on</i>

1017
01:00:16,803 --> 01:00:20,738
You rang?

1018
01:00:20,740 --> 01:00:23,207
It. Cousin. You made it!

1019
01:00:24,343 --> 01:00:26,812
Please, come in.
Make yourself at home.

1020
01:00:29,416 --> 01:00:30,950
Where did she hide my phone?

1021
01:00:30,952 --> 01:00:32,450
I haven't been able

1022
01:00:32,452 --> 01:00:34,820
to post a photo of my lunch
in almost three days!

1023
01:00:34,822 --> 01:00:37,321
And what about in there?

1024
01:00:37,323 --> 01:00:39,358
That's my mom's crafting room.

1025
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:41,660
No one is allowed in there.

1026
01:00:41,662 --> 01:00:43,031
Then that's where it is.

1027
01:00:50,671 --> 01:00:52,040
Weird.

1028
01:01:05,052 --> 01:01:06,218
Whoa.

1029
01:01:06,220 --> 01:01:07,885
Hidden depths.

1030
01:01:07,887 --> 01:01:09,821
What is this?

1031
01:01:09,823 --> 01:01:12,791
There's Mr. Haney
making a sandwich.

1032
01:01:12,793 --> 01:01:15,526
And that guy trying to put
a tiny tuxedo on his cat.

1033
01:01:15,528 --> 01:01:16,794
- <i>Sit still!</i>
- That's Mr. Flynn.

1034
01:01:16,796 --> 01:01:17,863
<i>Why are you
being so difficult?</i>

1035
01:01:17,865 --> 01:01:18,930
<i>Trying to make you</i>

1036
01:01:18,932 --> 01:01:20,532
- <i>look handsome.</i>
- My money's on the cat.

1037
01:01:20,534 --> 01:01:23,234
And there's our science
teacher, Ms. Gravely,

1038
01:01:23,236 --> 01:01:26,238
putting her underwear
in the freezer?

1039
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:29,573
My mom must have built
hidden cameras

1040
01:01:29,575 --> 01:01:31,475
into all of the houses.

1041
01:01:31,477 --> 01:01:32,878
She really is psycho.

1042
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,015
- Parker!
- Whoa!

1043
01:01:35,381 --> 01:01:37,247
Hey, Mom.

1044
01:01:37,249 --> 01:01:39,651
We were just looking for you.

1045
01:01:39,653 --> 01:01:43,724
What have I told you
about Mommy's crafting room?

1046
01:01:45,425 --> 01:01:48,526
Sorry to do this,
but standards must be upheld.

1047
01:01:48,528 --> 01:01:51,032
Parker, someday you'll
understand, and, Wednesday...

1048
01:01:51,564 --> 01:01:52,833
Well, anyway, Parker.

1049
01:01:56,570 --> 01:01:59,838
My mom
has a lair and a jail?

1050
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,173
I knew I should have picked
to live with my dad.

1051
01:02:02,175 --> 01:02:04,541
We're gonna be on TV!

1052
01:02:04,543 --> 01:02:05,711
Are we gonna be famous?

1053
01:02:05,713 --> 01:02:07,079
Glenn, what do you
want in the frame?

1054
01:02:07,081 --> 01:02:09,280
Okay, everyone, listen up.

1055
01:02:09,282 --> 01:02:11,216
It's the last run-through
before the finale,

1056
01:02:11,218 --> 01:02:13,419
so let's try this
one last time, okay?

1057
01:02:13,421 --> 01:02:16,155
We're gonna shoot across
the town square to the gazebo

1058
01:02:16,157 --> 01:02:17,888
where Margaux
will make her grand entrance.

1059
01:02:17,890 --> 01:02:20,392
So everyone will be
walking this direction

1060
01:02:20,394 --> 01:02:21,892
across the square.

1061
01:02:21,894 --> 01:02:23,695
Judy, you start here,

1062
01:02:23,697 --> 01:02:25,463
Ken, you're gonna follow Judy.

1063
01:02:25,465 --> 01:02:28,133
You can stand right here
and...

1064
01:02:28,135 --> 01:02:30,537
Uh, is there
a bathroom nearby?

1065
01:02:31,037 --> 01:02:32,572
Uh...

1066
01:02:35,742 --> 01:02:37,642
Margaux, they're here!

1067
01:02:37,644 --> 01:02:39,245
<i>What are you talking about?</i>

1068
01:02:39,247 --> 01:02:40,711
They're here!

1069
01:02:40,713 --> 01:02:42,948
The Addams family!

1070
01:02:53,126 --> 01:02:54,292
Pardon me.

1071
01:02:55,930 --> 01:02:56,998
Excuse me.

1072
01:02:57,664 --> 01:02:58,829
What are we gonna do?

1073
01:02:58,831 --> 01:03:03,936
What we always do, Glenn.
Help people.

1074
01:03:03,938 --> 01:03:07,104
"The Addams monsters
are planning

1075
01:03:07,106 --> 01:03:10,975
"to attack the town tonight!"
Exclamation point.

1076
01:03:12,146 --> 01:03:14,816
<i>"Meet at Margaux's house now."</i>

1077
01:03:15,282 --> 01:03:16,984
Mmm? Oh.

1078
01:03:22,590 --> 01:03:25,291
Salutations, Addams.
We're here!

1079
01:03:25,293 --> 01:03:28,325
Petunia, I love what
you've done with your hair.

1080
01:03:28,327 --> 01:03:31,028
Thanks, I just had it mowed.

1081
01:03:31,030 --> 01:03:33,497
Please, come in.
Make yourself uncomfortable.

1082
01:03:33,499 --> 01:03:35,800
Uncle Onion!

1083
01:03:35,802 --> 01:03:37,202
- It's been so long!
- <i>Voilà!</i>

1084
01:03:37,204 --> 01:03:39,437
Yes, so disappointed
to see you.

1085
01:03:39,439 --> 01:03:42,807
Ah, you always manage
to bring a tear to my eye!

1086
01:03:43,943 --> 01:03:46,678
Greetings, Dr. Flambe!
How you doing?

1087
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:48,814
- I'm on fire!
- Good!

1088
01:03:48,816 --> 01:03:50,582
This party's gonna be lit!

1089
01:03:50,584 --> 01:03:52,520
Ah, Auntie Sloom.

1090
01:03:53,153 --> 01:03:55,452
Auntie Sloom!

1091
01:03:55,454 --> 01:04:00,191
You are as radiant
as a barrel of nuclear waste.

1092
01:04:00,193 --> 01:04:03,163
Where is the boy?

1093
01:04:03,497 --> 01:04:04,562
Pugsley?

1094
01:04:04,564 --> 01:04:06,530
Ah, there you are.

1095
01:04:06,532 --> 01:04:07,832
Come down and say hello

1096
01:04:07,834 --> 01:04:09,202
- to your Auntie Sloom.
- Ahh!

1097
01:04:11,805 --> 01:04:16,508
Gomez, this tradition is not
to be taken lightly.

1098
01:04:16,510 --> 01:04:19,676
I trust that the boy
has been properly trained.

1099
01:04:19,678 --> 01:04:21,245
Yes, once you see how we've...

1100
01:04:21,247 --> 01:04:25,883
It's bad enough this Mazurka
is taking place in New Jersey.

1101
01:04:25,885 --> 01:04:29,021
Now, where are the dregs?
I'm thirsty.

1102
01:04:29,023 --> 01:04:31,023
<i>You've seen them!</i>

1103
01:04:31,025 --> 01:04:34,325
<i>You've heard the stories
on Neighborhood Peeps!</i>

1104
01:04:34,327 --> 01:04:38,729
<i>Those Addams aren't people,
they're monsters!</i>

1105
01:04:38,731 --> 01:04:41,901
<i>And now, there's
an infestation of them!</i>

1106
01:04:41,903 --> 01:04:45,236
<i>They're here to destroy
our beautiful community</i>

1107
01:04:45,238 --> 01:04:46,437
<i>and turn it into a place</i>

1108
01:04:46,439 --> 01:04:48,907
<i>that no</i> Design Intervention
<i>can save!</i>

1109
01:04:48,909 --> 01:04:51,410
Addams aren't wanted here!

1110
01:04:51,412 --> 01:04:53,245
They're monsters!
They're all monsters!

1111
01:04:53,247 --> 01:04:56,347
<i>We need to destroy them first!</i>

1112
01:04:56,349 --> 01:04:58,251
<i>Who's with me?</i>

1113
01:04:59,119 --> 01:05:00,584
<i>We'll be revealing
Assimilation</i>

1114
01:05:00,586 --> 01:05:02,787
<i>and all of you to our audience
in just an hour.</i>

1115
01:05:02,789 --> 01:05:06,224
<i>Our last chance to help
these people is now.</i>

1116
01:05:06,226 --> 01:05:09,727
Bill, John, do you still have
that lovely catapult?

1117
01:05:09,729 --> 01:05:11,195
Yes, we do!

1118
01:05:11,197 --> 01:05:13,198
Are you sure about this?

1119
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,066
We can't let them ruin
our neighborhood!

1120
01:05:15,068 --> 01:05:16,133
Let's do it!

1121
01:05:16,135 --> 01:05:17,537
I want them out!

1122
01:05:19,305 --> 01:05:22,506
No one torments
my family but me.

1123
01:05:22,508 --> 01:05:23,811
Hair clip, please.

1124
01:05:24,711 --> 01:05:25,947
Okay.

1125
01:05:34,755 --> 01:05:37,590
Cage school 101.

1126
01:05:39,093 --> 01:05:40,158
He'd better be ready

1127
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:41,559
or Auntie Sloom
will have his head!

1128
01:05:41,561 --> 01:05:42,961
He looks very small.

1129
01:05:42,963 --> 01:05:44,662
That kid's
got some big shoes to fill.

1130
01:05:44,664 --> 01:05:46,465
I certainly
hope the boy's ready.

1131
01:05:46,467 --> 01:05:48,999
Well, I'm not going
easy on him.

1132
01:05:59,012 --> 01:06:00,111
Heads up.

1133
01:06:01,648 --> 01:06:03,314
Hey, alto, you're flat.

1134
01:06:09,155 --> 01:06:10,488
Sloom.

1135
01:06:10,490 --> 01:06:12,925
- Sister.
- Darling, I...

1136
01:06:12,927 --> 01:06:14,693
I know the last time
we saw each other,

1137
01:06:14,695 --> 01:06:16,193
we had that horrible fight.

1138
01:06:16,195 --> 01:06:19,564
And I just wanted to tell you,
from the bottom of my heart,

1139
01:06:19,566 --> 01:06:22,466
I won that fight!
And I was glad I cheated!

1140
01:06:22,468 --> 01:06:26,504
You won?
Still a sore loser, as always!

1141
01:06:26,506 --> 01:06:29,274
I want a rematch!
Right here! Right now!

1142
01:06:29,276 --> 01:06:31,809
Auntie Sloom?
Can I get you anything?

1143
01:06:31,811 --> 01:06:33,178
When's the Mazurka?

1144
01:06:33,180 --> 01:06:34,780
Soon, soon.

1145
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:36,615
Our daughter Wednesday
isn't here yet.

1146
01:06:36,617 --> 01:06:39,383
If your daughter
can't be on time,

1147
01:06:39,385 --> 01:06:41,688
then we will begin
without her!

1148
01:06:42,322 --> 01:06:44,955
Very well, Auntie Sloom.

1149
01:06:48,361 --> 01:06:51,798
Attention, please. Attention!

1150
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:57,135
The hour is upon us.

1151
01:06:57,137 --> 01:06:58,238
Places!

1152
01:07:11,985 --> 01:07:17,756
We gather today to witness
my son, Pugsley Addams,

1153
01:07:17,758 --> 01:07:20,561
perform his Sabre Mazurka.

1154
01:07:43,249 --> 01:07:46,852
He will begin with a reading
from the Terror,

1155
01:07:46,854 --> 01:07:50,624
which commemorates
our cries in battle.

1156
01:08:12,579 --> 01:08:16,483
And now,
the transition into manhood.

1157
01:08:34,267 --> 01:08:37,101
<i>And now, the Sabre Mazurka.</i>

1158
01:08:45,144 --> 01:08:46,446
Hold still.

1159
01:08:48,482 --> 01:08:50,849
The Addams mustache.

1160
01:08:50,851 --> 01:08:52,452
Now you're ready.

1161
01:10:02,856 --> 01:10:03,924
Pugsley?

1162
01:10:06,593 --> 01:10:08,193
I give up.

1163
01:10:08,195 --> 01:10:10,030
I can't do it, Pop.

1164
01:10:11,564 --> 01:10:12,765
Oh.

1165
01:10:15,402 --> 01:10:16,570
I'm sorry.

1166
01:10:17,504 --> 01:10:19,537
I let you down.

1167
01:10:19,539 --> 01:10:22,509
You haven't
let me down, Pugsley.

1168
01:10:23,744 --> 01:10:25,510
I let you down.

1169
01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:27,212
I was so focused
on doing things

1170
01:10:27,214 --> 01:10:29,012
the traditional way,

1171
01:10:29,014 --> 01:10:31,151
I forgot to let you
be who you are.

1172
01:10:35,588 --> 01:10:36,654
<i>Hey!</i>

1173
01:10:36,656 --> 01:10:40,559
<i>Are ya ready
for your Margaux makeover now?</i>

1174
01:10:40,561 --> 01:10:41,860
It's Margaux.

1175
01:10:41,862 --> 01:10:43,227
She must have turned
the whole town

1176
01:10:43,229 --> 01:10:44,863
into stark raving lunatics.

1177
01:10:44,865 --> 01:10:47,265
Well, I have to admit,
I admire her work.

1178
01:10:47,267 --> 01:10:48,400
Let's do this thing!

1179
01:10:48,402 --> 01:10:50,235
It's locked and loaded,
Margaux.

1180
01:10:50,237 --> 01:10:52,640
Let's go get 'em!
We've had enough!

1181
01:10:53,205 --> 01:10:54,207
Fire!

1182
01:10:59,144 --> 01:11:02,982
<i>Get out!</i>

1183
01:11:09,455 --> 01:11:10,888
Pugsley!

1184
01:11:10,890 --> 01:11:13,958
What is the true meaning
of the Mazurka?

1185
01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:16,461
It's about protecting
our family

1186
01:11:16,463 --> 01:11:18,663
from those who would
do us harm!

1187
01:11:18,665 --> 01:11:22,069
Go ahead.
Show 'em what you're good at.

1188
01:11:26,740 --> 01:11:30,809
<i>All we have to do
is pull down the side walls!</i>

1189
01:11:30,811 --> 01:11:32,842
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1190
01:11:32,844 --> 01:11:35,079
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

1191
01:11:35,081 --> 01:11:38,852
<i>'Cause if you mess with me
You're messing with my family</i>

1192
01:11:42,022 --> 01:11:44,890
Everyone, follow my boy!

1193
01:11:49,963 --> 01:11:51,130
Hey, guys!

1194
01:12:08,147 --> 01:12:11,818
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

1195
01:12:16,322 --> 01:12:20,160
<i>But this family
is about to go global</i>

1196
01:12:26,165 --> 01:12:27,633
<i>Fire!</i>

1197
01:12:30,070 --> 01:12:32,305
Shakalaka bang, baby!

1198
01:12:39,412 --> 01:12:41,245
Quick! Out this way!

1199
01:12:45,885 --> 01:12:47,720
Pop, I'm out of ammo!

1200
01:12:49,388 --> 01:12:50,989
We're trapped!

1201
01:13:13,213 --> 01:13:15,012
Hope I'm not crashing
the party.

1202
01:13:15,014 --> 01:13:16,114
Wednesday!

1203
01:13:16,116 --> 01:13:17,414
Yeah!

1204
01:13:17,416 --> 01:13:19,285
Ichabod, quick,
lower your branches!

1205
01:13:22,054 --> 01:13:23,723
Everyone, grab on!

1206
01:13:46,946 --> 01:13:52,016
Margaux Needler never stops
until the project is complete.

1207
01:13:55,488 --> 01:13:56,823
Fire in the hole!

1208
01:13:58,590 --> 01:14:00,091
Mazurka!

1209
01:14:03,495 --> 01:14:04,928
Is everyone all right?

1210
01:14:04,930 --> 01:14:07,601
No limbs missing that weren't
missing before you arrived?

1211
01:14:13,673 --> 01:14:17,842
My little raven,
I'm so happy you returned.

1212
01:14:17,844 --> 01:14:19,443
Of course I came back.

1213
01:14:19,445 --> 01:14:20,511
I knew there was no way

1214
01:14:20,513 --> 01:14:22,012
you were going
to save yourselves.

1215
01:14:22,014 --> 01:14:24,449
You are like
weak baby squirrels.

1216
01:14:37,531 --> 01:14:38,631
Socrates.

1217
01:14:40,832 --> 01:14:43,437
Eight legs, nine lives.

1218
01:14:45,804 --> 01:14:47,974
You were right,
<i>cara mia.</i>

1219
01:14:48,842 --> 01:14:50,443
People can be cruel.

1220
01:14:51,376 --> 01:14:52,776
What have we done?

1221
01:14:52,778 --> 01:14:55,312
They're just a family.

1222
01:14:55,314 --> 01:14:56,480
A family?

1223
01:14:56,482 --> 01:14:58,615
Oh, please!
They're a bunch of monsters!

1224
01:14:58,617 --> 01:15:01,052
Don't go soft on me, people.

1225
01:15:01,054 --> 01:15:03,320
I will relish hounding you

1226
01:15:03,322 --> 01:15:05,556
until that nuclear waste dump
of a house is gone

1227
01:15:05,558 --> 01:15:08,391
and your mutant family
along with it! Ah!

1228
01:15:08,393 --> 01:15:11,462
Be careful what you wish for,
Ms. Needler.

1229
01:15:11,464 --> 01:15:15,369
My family and I will never run
from the likes of you again.

1230
01:15:21,006 --> 01:15:22,974
Deep breath, Margaux.

1231
01:15:22,976 --> 01:15:24,708
Okay, I have a finale
to shoot.

1232
01:15:24,710 --> 01:15:26,343
Parker, let's go.

1233
01:15:26,345 --> 01:15:28,578
I'm not going
anywhere with you.

1234
01:15:28,580 --> 01:15:29,881
I'm staying with my friend.

1235
01:15:29,883 --> 01:15:31,248
Your friend?

1236
01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:33,184
Parker, these people
are freaks.

1237
01:15:33,186 --> 01:15:35,185
If they're freaks,
then I'm a freak.

1238
01:15:35,187 --> 01:15:37,221
And so are all of you.

1239
01:15:37,223 --> 01:15:38,355
Exhibit A.

1240
01:15:38,357 --> 01:15:42,092
Ms. Gravely, you put
your underwear in the freezer.

1241
01:15:42,094 --> 01:15:44,095
Hey, it's refreshing, okay?

1242
01:15:44,097 --> 01:15:46,263
Exhibit B.
Trudy Pickering.

1243
01:15:46,265 --> 01:15:48,533
You sit on
the toilet backwards.

1244
01:15:48,535 --> 01:15:51,101
Well, where else am I supposed
to put my arms?

1245
01:15:51,103 --> 01:15:53,104
Wait, how did you know that?

1246
01:15:53,106 --> 01:15:57,108
Because your houses have been
infested with Needler-Vision.

1247
01:15:57,110 --> 01:15:59,843
She has hidden cameras
everywhere.

1248
01:15:59,845 --> 01:16:00,912
What?

1249
01:16:00,914 --> 01:16:03,580
And watches you
all of the time.

1250
01:16:03,582 --> 01:16:04,681
In my private time?

1251
01:16:04,683 --> 01:16:05,749
That is creepy, actually.

1252
01:16:05,751 --> 01:16:08,351
- What else has she seen?
- That is over the line!

1253
01:16:08,353 --> 01:16:09,520
Shut up!

1254
01:16:09,522 --> 01:16:12,891
Listen, you lemmings!
This is my town.

1255
01:16:12,893 --> 01:16:15,627
You are nothing
but a bunch of extras.

1256
01:16:15,629 --> 01:16:19,363
We are going to march down
that hill and do a live show.

1257
01:16:19,365 --> 01:16:21,032
I expect you to convince

1258
01:16:21,034 --> 01:16:23,534
those brainless peons
out there in the audience

1259
01:16:23,536 --> 01:16:26,069
that this is the perfect place
to buy a house,

1260
01:16:26,071 --> 01:16:28,739
or none of you will be living
here much longer.

1261
01:16:28,741 --> 01:16:30,408
- Do you hear me?
- Actually, Mom,

1262
01:16:30,410 --> 01:16:32,142
everyone can hear you.

1263
01:16:32,144 --> 01:16:34,311
You've been live
this whole time.

1264
01:16:34,313 --> 01:16:37,782
Three million people
are watching you right now.

1265
01:16:37,784 --> 01:16:39,784
The real you, for a change.

1266
01:16:39,786 --> 01:16:42,319
Please, what do I care what
a bunch of bloggers think?

1267
01:16:42,321 --> 01:16:43,421
Margaux?

1268
01:16:43,423 --> 01:16:44,489
What?

1269
01:16:44,491 --> 01:16:46,157
It's the network.

1270
01:16:46,159 --> 01:16:48,292
They're taking your show
off the air.

1271
01:16:48,294 --> 01:16:49,459
What?

1272
01:16:49,461 --> 01:16:51,895
No. I'll be...
I'll be bankrupt.

1273
01:16:51,897 --> 01:16:53,330
Who will buy all these houses?

1274
01:16:53,332 --> 01:16:56,266
Okay, watch this.
Now's my chance.

1275
01:16:56,268 --> 01:17:00,070
Excuse me,
I just tooted.

1276
01:17:00,072 --> 01:17:02,073
Furthermore,
I think I can help you

1277
01:17:02,075 --> 01:17:03,608
get rid of those houses.

1278
01:17:03,610 --> 01:17:05,676
- What are you talking about?
- Well, my dear,

1279
01:17:05,678 --> 01:17:08,578
you've got a bunch of houses
you need to get rid of,

1280
01:17:08,580 --> 01:17:11,183
and I've got a bunch of family
I need to get rid of.

1281
01:17:11,852 --> 01:17:13,316
Hello?

1282
01:17:13,318 --> 01:17:16,087
Excuse me. I'm Trudy.

1283
01:17:16,089 --> 01:17:20,158
Trudy Pickering. We...
We never officially met...

1284
01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:22,592
Ah, yes. The toilet woman.

1285
01:17:22,594 --> 01:17:23,793
Right.

1286
01:17:23,795 --> 01:17:28,632
Listen, uh, please, give us
a chance to make it right.

1287
01:17:28,634 --> 01:17:32,304
Let us have
our own design intervention.

1288
01:17:33,305 --> 01:17:34,372
Mother,

1289
01:17:34,374 --> 01:17:36,840
I spent time
with these people,

1290
01:17:36,842 --> 01:17:40,810
and it is true, they are odd.

1291
01:17:40,812 --> 01:17:42,512
But we shouldn't judge them

1292
01:17:42,514 --> 01:17:44,516
just because
they're different.

1293
01:18:07,307 --> 01:18:08,838
- Have a wonderful day!
- Whoo-hoo.

1294
01:18:08,840 --> 01:18:09,907
And there you are.

1295
01:18:09,909 --> 01:18:11,143
- Bye-bye.
- Thanks! Bye!

1296
01:18:16,883 --> 01:18:18,516
Well, hello there!

1297
01:18:18,518 --> 01:18:21,319
Howdy, neighbor.
How's the new house?

1298
01:18:21,321 --> 01:18:25,021
Oh, I love it. I hope
you brought your umbrellas.

1299
01:18:25,023 --> 01:18:28,859
Oh, you put in a typhoon.
What a great idea.

1300
01:18:28,861 --> 01:18:30,761
Don't forget
the gift basket, silly.

1301
01:18:30,763 --> 01:18:32,163
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1302
01:18:32,165 --> 01:18:34,565
We got scented
embalming fluid,

1303
01:18:34,567 --> 01:18:37,334
toes, teeth, a fruitcake,

1304
01:18:37,336 --> 01:18:40,038
rat bait,
got some dried apricots...

1305
01:18:41,273 --> 01:18:44,208
He's like training a puppy,
adorable but tiresome.

1306
01:18:44,210 --> 01:18:46,211
She's the woman of my dreams!

1307
01:18:46,213 --> 01:18:48,878
Her breath is like
a baby's diaper.

1308
01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:51,282
Fester, stop!

1309
01:18:51,284 --> 01:18:54,752
Who would have thought
a guy like me, a total zero,

1310
01:18:54,754 --> 01:18:58,021
would have ended up with you,
an also zero?

1311
01:18:58,023 --> 01:18:59,959
Well, do come in!

1312
01:19:02,795 --> 01:19:06,129
Now, with
the house rebuilt, Pugsley,

1313
01:19:06,131 --> 01:19:10,402
we can throw you
the celebration you deserve!

1314
01:19:11,237 --> 01:19:15,075
You are Addams
through and through.

1315
01:19:32,924 --> 01:19:36,896
<i>Get out!</i>

1316
01:19:37,897 --> 01:19:40,564
Oh, how lovely.
The spirit's home.

1317
01:19:40,566 --> 01:19:43,769
Finally, back to normal.

1318
01:19:49,808 --> 01:19:51,141
We did good.

1319
01:19:51,143 --> 01:19:53,079
I won't tell anyone
if you don't.

1320
01:20:14,433 --> 01:20:16,367
<i>They're creepy
And they're kooky</i>

1321
01:20:16,369 --> 01:20:18,368
<i>Mysterious and spooky</i>

1322
01:20:18,370 --> 01:20:20,370
<i>They're altogether ooky</i>

1323
01:20:20,372 --> 01:20:21,842
<i>The Addams family</i>

1324
01:20:22,441 --> 01:20:24,342
<i>There house is a museum</i>

1325
01:20:24,344 --> 01:20:26,343
<i>Where people come
to see 'em</i>

1326
01:20:26,345 --> 01:20:28,346
<i>They really are a scream</i>

1327
01:20:28,348 --> 01:20:29,783
<i>The Addams family</i>

1328
01:20:30,950 --> 01:20:31,952
<i>Neat.</i>

1329
01:20:32,985 --> 01:20:33,987
<i>Sweet.</i>

1330
01:20:36,856 --> 01:20:38,221
<i>Petite.</i>

1331
01:20:38,223 --> 01:20:40,190
<i>So get a witch's shawl on</i>

1332
01:20:40,192 --> 01:20:42,193
<i>A broomstick
You can crawl on</i>

1333
01:20:42,195 --> 01:20:44,194
<i>We're gonna pay a call on</i>

1334
01:20:44,196 --> 01:20:46,832
<i>The Addams family</i>

1335
01:20:48,867 --> 01:20:50,300
<i>Family, family</i>

1336
01:20:50,302 --> 01:20:52,336
<i>I'd go to war for my family</i>

1337
01:20:52,338 --> 01:20:55,207
<i>Ups and downs
Wrong or right, it's family</i>

1338
01:20:55,974 --> 01:20:57,041
<i>They think that we crazy</i>

1339
01:20:57,043 --> 01:20:59,243
<i>They say that we crazy,
can't handle it</i>

1340
01:20:59,245 --> 01:21:02,980
<i>My back on the wall
Who I'mma call, my family</i>

1341
01:21:02,982 --> 01:21:06,450
<i>We different, we stick out
Wig out, bug out</i>

1342
01:21:06,452 --> 01:21:08,218
<i>Pop out, hop out
Go</i>

1343
01:21:08,220 --> 01:21:09,986
<i>Ball out, hey
Show out</i>

1344
01:21:09,988 --> 01:21:11,221
<i>A'ight, this a party</i>

1345
01:21:11,223 --> 01:21:13,556
<i>Let's not make a problem
No!</i>

1346
01:21:13,558 --> 01:21:17,095
<i>Why you looking at me like
there's something, tell me</i>

1347
01:21:17,097 --> 01:21:19,997
<i>You should know it's not just
me that you'll be rubbing</i>

1348
01:21:19,999 --> 01:21:22,669
<i>The wrong way,
so you better think twice</i>

1349
01:21:24,036 --> 01:21:27,404
<i>You shouldn't mess with me
You don't want to mess with me</i>

1350
01:21:27,406 --> 01:21:30,874
<i>'Cause if you mess with me
You're messing with my family</i>

1351
01:21:30,876 --> 01:21:32,275
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1352
01:21:32,277 --> 01:21:33,610
<i>You don't want to mess with me</i>

1353
01:21:33,612 --> 01:21:34,744
<i>No!</i>

1354
01:21:34,746 --> 01:21:35,946
<i>'Cause if you mess with me</i>

1355
01:21:35,948 --> 01:21:37,782
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

1356
01:21:37,784 --> 01:21:41,084
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

1357
01:21:41,086 --> 01:21:44,523
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

1358
01:21:45,223 --> 01:21:46,891
<i>Ay, ay, ay</i>

1359
01:21:46,893 --> 01:21:48,258
<i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

1360
01:21:48,260 --> 01:21:51,261
<i>But this family
about to go global</i>

1361
01:21:51,263 --> 01:21:52,431
<i>We blowin' up!</i>

1362
01:21:54,700 --> 01:21:55,802
<i>Yeah, yeah</i>

1363
01:21:56,568 --> 01:21:57,700
<i>Yeah, yeah</i>

1364
01:22:12,585 --> 01:22:13,751
<i>Don't mess with my family</i>

1365
01:22:13,753 --> 01:22:16,386
<i>A'ight, this a party
Let's not make a problem</i>

1366
01:22:16,388 --> 01:22:17,587
<i>No!</i>

1367
01:22:17,589 --> 01:22:20,123
<i>Why you looking at me like
there's something, tell me</i>

1368
01:22:20,125 --> 01:22:23,260
<i>You should know it's not just
me that you'll be rubbing</i>

1369
01:22:23,262 --> 01:22:24,427
<i>The wrong way</i>

1370
01:22:24,429 --> 01:22:25,965
<i>So you better think twice</i>

1371
01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:29,132
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1372
01:22:29,134 --> 01:22:30,967
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

1373
01:22:30,969 --> 01:22:32,403
<i>'Cause if you mess with me</i>

1374
01:22:32,405 --> 01:22:34,571
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

1375
01:22:34,573 --> 01:22:36,106
<i>You shouldn't mess with me</i>

1376
01:22:36,108 --> 01:22:38,108
<i>You don't wanna mess with me</i>

1377
01:22:38,110 --> 01:22:41,481
<i>'Cause if you mess with me,
you're messing with my family</i>

1378
01:22:44,015 --> 01:22:45,250
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

1379
01:22:46,486 --> 01:22:48,455
<i>You're messing with my family</i>

1380
01:22:50,689 --> 01:22:52,491
- <i>Yeah</i>
- <i>Yeah, yeah, yeah</i>

1381
01:22:54,027 --> 01:22:55,124
<i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

1382
01:22:55,126 --> 01:22:56,193
<i>No!</i>

1383
01:22:56,195 --> 01:22:58,695
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

1384
01:22:58,697 --> 01:22:59,864
<i>You might think</i>

1385
01:22:59,866 --> 01:23:02,135
<i>That we are all loco</i>

1386
01:23:02,934 --> 01:23:05,935
<i>Ay, ay, ay</i>

1387
01:23:05,937 --> 01:23:07,104
<i>But this family</i>

1388
01:23:07,106 --> 01:23:08,872
<i>About to go global</i>

1389
01:23:09,974 --> 01:23:11,675
<i>They say that we mean
Mean</i>

1390
01:23:11,677 --> 01:23:13,510
<i>They say that we rude
Rude</i>

1391
01:23:13,512 --> 01:23:15,311
<i>They say we got problems
Problems</i>

1392
01:23:15,313 --> 01:23:17,148
<i>But we say it's cool</i>

1393
01:23:17,150 --> 01:23:18,515
<i>Family, family</i>

1394
01:23:18,517 --> 01:23:20,717
<i>I'd go to war for my family</i>

1395
01:23:20,719 --> 01:23:23,854
<i>Ups and downs
Wrong or right, it's family</i>

1396
01:23:23,856 --> 01:23:27,158
<i>Ay, ay, ay, ay</i>

1397
01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:29,526
<i>You might think
that we are all loco</i>

1398
01:23:29,528 --> 01:23:31,194
<i>Don't mess
with my family</i>

1399
01:23:31,196 --> 01:23:34,131
<i>Ay, ay, ay,</i>

1400
01:23:34,133 --> 01:23:37,333
<i>But this family
is about to go global</i>

1401
01:23:46,045 --> 01:23:47,310
<i>There's no bell</i>

1402
01:23:47,312 --> 01:23:49,048
<i>When you call for me</i>

1403
01:23:50,214 --> 01:23:54,316
<i>You'll be falling for miles</i>

1404
01:23:54,318 --> 01:23:58,154
<i>I'm bewitched by your misery</i>

1405
01:23:58,156 --> 01:24:02,693
<i>But I love it when you smile</i>

1406
01:24:02,695 --> 01:24:05,598
<i>Let me know
what you want from me</i>

1407
01:24:06,932 --> 01:24:10,601
<i>Whisper "love" in my ears</i>

1408
01:24:10,603 --> 01:24:13,673
<i>Before you try
to get your hooks in me</i>

1409
01:24:15,441 --> 01:24:19,575
<i>I should warn you, my dear</i>

1410
01:24:19,577 --> 01:24:23,079
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

1411
01:24:23,081 --> 01:24:27,284
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

1412
01:24:27,286 --> 01:24:31,120
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

1413
01:24:31,122 --> 01:24:34,891
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

1414
01:24:34,893 --> 01:24:38,031
<i>No escaping the way you feel</i>

1415
01:24:39,464 --> 01:24:43,033
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

1416
01:24:43,035 --> 01:24:45,638
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

1417
01:24:46,772 --> 01:24:50,940
<i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>

1418
01:24:50,942 --> 01:24:52,478
<i>Haunted house</i>

1419
01:24:58,317 --> 01:25:02,285
<i>Watch
yourself when you walk to me</i>

1420
01:25:02,287 --> 01:25:06,155
<i>Careful where
your heart treads</i>

1421
01:25:06,157 --> 01:25:09,628
<i>Suddenly,
you'll be in too deep</i>

1422
01:25:11,263 --> 01:25:14,765
<i>You'll be caught up in my web</i>

1423
01:25:14,767 --> 01:25:17,137
<i>You will think
of me constantly</i>

1424
01:25:18,637 --> 01:25:21,407
<i>And it will drive you insane</i>

1425
01:25:22,474 --> 01:25:25,812
<i>Like the tattoo
you can't remove</i>

1426
01:25:27,146 --> 01:25:31,648
<i>Like the blood in your veins</i>

1427
01:25:31,650 --> 01:25:35,252
<i>My heart is a haunted house</i>

1428
01:25:35,254 --> 01:25:39,422
<i>Once you're in,
you ain't getting out</i>

1429
01:25:39,424 --> 01:25:43,360
<i>It's the trap
you've been waiting for</i>

1430
01:25:43,362 --> 01:25:46,629
<i>Ain't no windows,
ain't no doors</i>

1431
01:25:46,631 --> 01:25:49,768
<i>There's no escaping
the way you feel</i>

1432
01:25:51,437 --> 01:25:55,105
<i>It's like a dream,
but you hope it's real</i>

1433
01:25:55,107 --> 01:25:57,010
<i>My, my, my heart</i>

1434
01:25:58,811 --> 01:26:04,550
- <i>M-m-m-my heart is a haunted</i>
- <i>Haunted house</i>

1435
01:26:07,186 --> 01:26:10,421
<i>Yeah</i>

1436
01:26:10,423 --> 01:26:13,726
- <i>It's a haunted house</i>
- <i>Haunted house</i>