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Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET

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♪ But it wouldn't be nothing

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♪ Nothing

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♪ Without a woman or a girl

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CEDRIC: From the beginning of mankind

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and throughout the world's history,

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there have been clearly defined
rituals of manhood.

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See, these rituals were definitive

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in determining the exact moment

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when a boy became a man.

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(YELLING) (ROARS)

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For example,

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there's the moment when a
boy joins the other men

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in his first engagement in battle.

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Did you know that they used to have public
circumcisions in front of the village?

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(SCREAMS)

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Thank God mine didn't go public.

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And the most significant
moment of all, marriage.

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That's right, I said it.

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In fact, marriage used to be

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the ultimate goal of boys and men.

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Because in the old days,

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it was the only way a guy could get

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what he really wanted from a girl.

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(WOMAN MOANING)

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See now today? Woo!

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Things have changed, people.

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I mean, men, we don't have to work

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as hard to get what we want.

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We got the Internet, for God's sake.

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I can be whatever I want on the Internet.

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Today, men have the home court advantage,

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which has left you ladies

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with several different types of men.

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I mean, I don't even know where to start.

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You got the Player.

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♪ This is a man's world

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Hi, Zekey.

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You sexted?

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Those aren't mine, asshole.

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You sure that's not...

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CEDRIC: Wait a minute, I'm not
done. You got the Mama's Boy.

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Happy, Valentine's Day, sweetie.

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And you, too, Mom.

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(LAUGHS)

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Thank you, sweetie.

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You know, I think I'm just
gonna leave you two alone.

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Wait, babe, where are you going?

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It's okay, Michael. I don't
want to intrude.

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I'll call you? Or not.

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Poor little thing.

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She's blonde.

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CEDRIC: You got the Dreamer.
The Dreamer's funny.

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♪ This is a man's world ♪

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So I quit my job.

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Yeah,

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I wanna be a chef.

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You wanted to be a paramedic,

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you wanted to be a PR agent, and now

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you wanna be a chef?

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Baby, it's my dream.

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Really, Dominic?

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Because I wanted to be a ballerina

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and Janet Jackson.

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When I was seven.

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Do you know what I wanna be now?

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No.

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Your ex.

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CEDRIC: And last but not least,

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you got the Non-Committer. Pass the ball!

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This one is from me.

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All right, baby.

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All right! Now it's a party. Drum
roll. MICHAEL: Okay, big guy.

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Oh, my God. I will, I will, I will, yes!

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You will what?

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(STRAINED) Oh.

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Earrings

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that I will always treasure.

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You the man, boy.

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Told you.

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Yo! You need a beer?

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CEDRIC: Now I'm not saying

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there aren't a lot of good men out there.

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Take, for instance, the
Happily Married Man.

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Which brings us to my personal favorite,

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you got the Happier Divorced Guy.

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Look at that smile.

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What I'm saying is,

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the balance of power has shifted.

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But, Zeke, those aren't my
only issues with Gail,

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it's the nagging, it's the yelling,

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it's the crazy mood swings.

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I mean, you're not gonna talk
to me no kind of way.

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I'm a grown-ass man.

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Grown-ass man.

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You know me, Dom, I'm grown.

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Them weren't the only problems

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you was having with Gail, though, right?

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Yo, Zeke, do not get that man started.

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I'm asking a question!

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No, let's get me started up.

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Turn the key! Say it, get it out!

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Rumor has it that Gail
was whooping that ass.

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What's the first word you said?

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I think it was "whooping that ass."

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No, first word you said was "rumor."

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'Cause that's what it was,
Zeke. It's a rumor.

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Ced, you walked in the gym the other day

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with a little nugget in
the side of your eye.

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I fell down the steps, Mike! Okay?

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I got steps, my steps got a slope in them.

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You ever walked down a slope
with dress shoes on?

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Wait, so, she kicked your ass,
then you fell down the steps?

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See, now it makes perfect sense.

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CEDRIC: That's real funny.

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Look at the white man trying to make
light of the relationship issues

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of a brother. It's not like that.

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No, it is like that. Let me
tell you something, J.

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Black people marched and died

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for the right to fight and treat
each other like shit.

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Oh, my God. You did not march,

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you do not have that right.
Neither do you, Bennett.

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I saw it on TV.

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They show those marches a lot in February.

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Stop.

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Your wife kicked your ass. It's
really not that big of a deal.

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There's worse things. It's
my ex-wife. Okay?

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Y'all need to get in the habit
of saying that. Ex-wife.

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(ALL LAUGHING) You know,
it really kills me

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how y'all like to laugh at my pain.

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I can't wait till y'all experience

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the shit I'm experiencing.

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I say Rush Street, first round on Bennett.

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Uh...

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I'm supposed to have dinner
with Kristen tonight.

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She'll understand, she's cool.
I'll send her a text.

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VICKI: Welcome back, everybody.

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We are still here

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with best-selling author Steve Harvey.

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Well, what I try to get
women to understand

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is that times have changed,

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but your playbook hasn't.

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I've gotten thousands of letters

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from all kinds of women

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who can't seem to find a man, keep a man

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or get what they want from their man.

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Until you understand how a man loves,

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how a man operates, how he thinks,

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until you get into the mindset of a man,

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you will never win with
us in the game of love.

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VICKI: Well, we certainly
want to win with you

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in the game of love, Steve.

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We have a question in the audience.

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WOMAN: Hi, Steve.

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I've been living with my
boyfriend for five years

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and he says that he loves me
and he's fully committed.

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I guess what I want to know

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is how come he hasn't popped the question?

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He hasn't popped the question

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because you haven't required him to.

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VICKI: We'll be right back.

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(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) (PEOPLE
TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

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MAN: Can I get two beers? Hey!

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I'm Cedric. Cedric, Cedric.

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Yeah, I'm not married.

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That's why I'm not wearing a ring.

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I'm sorry,

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but Jesus has my heart.

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Yeah, no, no, no, I get that.

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I love Jesus, too.

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I talked to him today,

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I was like, "Jesus," I
said, "I need a girl!"

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And I get here and I see you,

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so I was like, "Thank you."

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You see Ced over there trying
to pull that PYT?

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MICHAEL: Oh, she bad as hell.

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See, thinking like that,

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you lose the game before you even step in.

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What are you talking about?

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I'ma go on and leave.

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Hey.

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She's crazy. And I don't like her knees.

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Excuse me, Miss, I noticed
that you were...

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(GROANS) Honestly, I couldn't care less

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about whatever it is you have to say.

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And I can appreciate that.

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I just know that I've seen you here before

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and you're usually so stunning...

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And you'll always have those memories.

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In fact, why don't you walk
away and pretend this...

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I don't know what I did to
make you so defensive.

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All I'm saying is, whatever it is,

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it's no reason to let yourself
go, that's it.

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Let myself go?

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I didn't mean any disrespect...

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Let me tell your tired ass something.

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Something's changed.

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Usually, there's an aura,

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there's a glint about you
that I'm not seeing.

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And I don't know if it's a relationship

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or if it's job related, it's just...

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Is that it?

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It's work related?

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Well, to be honest,

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I was laid off from my job
about two months ago.

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This damn economy.

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How'd it go? CEDRIC: Not good, man.

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Yo, I literally have nothing
to say anymore.

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I don't know what's going on.

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And my breath ain't right. (GROANS)

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Drink a beer. You smell it?

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You can't let that steal your smile,

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'cause that smile that I'm talking about,

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that's gonna get you that
next CEO gig, you get it?

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See now? See? You're smiling.

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Now I'm smiling.

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I'ma walk away from here like a fairy now,

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'cause I'm all happy.

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A fairy? (LAUGHS) Yeah.

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Have a good evening.

221
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Thank you.

222
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Got shot down.

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(MOUTHING) Two, one...

224
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Wait.

225
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She calling him back for another
episode of crazy.

226
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Here.

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She probably shot him down. Twice.

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Crazy, right? Man.

229
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Talking about Jesus and she don't
speak English and stuff, right?

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Luck of mine.

231
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She actually gave me her damn number.

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(ALL EXCLAIMING)

233
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The Dark Knight strikes again.

234
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How great is Kristen, man?

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Nice.

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She's a phenomenal girl.

237
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I just don't understand why
she's with this dude.

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CEDRIC: Nobody does. How
good is your credit?

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It's up. Low 400s, 430?

240
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Goddamn! A 430?

241
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,010
You can't even get a Discover Card!

242
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Don't white people start off
with a 500 credit score?

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Five-fifty, 475 if you're a mulatto.

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GAIL: Cedric!

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Yes, Gail.

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Gail, listen to what I'm trying to say!

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Gail, I don't care!

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I don't care what you take out the garage!

249
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,898
Gail, you can take the whole damn garage.

250
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Let me tell you something.
Here's what I want,

251
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,151
and this is what's... (PHONE BEEPS) Hello?

252
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,360
Gail?

253
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Y'all, I swear...

254
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,447
She didn't let me finish my sentence.
I don't like that.

255
00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,657
Hey, Ced. When's the divorce
gonna be final?

256
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,242
Goodness, if I had to guess,

257
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I'd say like four weeks, 367 hours,

258
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22 minutes, 32 seconds.

259
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That's just a guess.

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00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,624
Who's counting? ZEKE: But you
know what we should do?

261
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,876
We should take Cedric out for
celebration game night.

262
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,336
I can't do Sunday. This Sunday,

263
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,421
dinner with my ma. Little
casserole action...

264
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,547
JEREMY: That's every Sunday.

265
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:31,009
I can't do Sunday either. Jonah's
got a violin recital.

266
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,470
My God, dude, your kid has
way too many recitals.

267
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,056
Wait a minute, hold on, wait.
Your son play the violin?

268
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,933
And the cello. Yo, he's gay.

269
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,017
Playing the violin doesn't make him gay.

270
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,185
Yes, it does.

271
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,353
Name me one gay violinist.

272
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,479
Your son.

273
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,647
Listen to this.

274
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,024
Cedric is about to be released from
the shackles of Gail-Hell.

275
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,109
Forever. And we're about
to miss it for what?

276
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,486
Another Jonah recital.

277
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,613
By the way, he sucks. BENNETT: Really?

278
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,448
I'd expect that from them, not you.

279
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,741
What do you mean, "them"?

280
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,034
Like what, like black people or what?

281
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,369
Absolutely.

282
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,412
I don't get mad because he's
bold enough to say it.

283
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,331
Seriously, you have ears. Kid's tone-deaf.

284
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,875
This is his big solo. They're
playing the Gap Band.

285
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,335
You know, Dropped a Bomb on Me,

286
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,128
and he's got the last...
(MIMICS PLAYING) "Baby!"

287
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,839
Look, I got a great idea. I'll
have my mom cook for us.

288
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,758
She'll make some chocolate chip
cookies, a big casserole.

289
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:12,926
We'll do it the right way.

290
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,970
Mike, I almost punched you in
your damn face just now, man.

291
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,096
And I was gonna add a head butt.

292
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,597
I'm not going over your mom house

293
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:18,974
to celebrate my damn divorce party!

294
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,141
We gotta eat. We can start there...

295
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,393
I don't wanna eat with your mom!

296
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:22,769
I ain't going over his mom house.

297
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,563
Look, she just got the new Tyler Perry,

298
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,189
For Colored Girls on Blu-ray.

299
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,774
We'll just have a nice
little fellas night,

300
00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:28,984
a chill-out night.

301
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,152
Let me tell you what happens, Janet
Jackson gets AIDS at the end

302
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,697
and some crazy guy throws his kids
out the window. You good?

303
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,448
Can we party now? Let's do it! I hate you.

304
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,576
All right, put 'em up! Yes, sir.

305
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,912
Fine, I'm in, man.

306
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,416
Life is great, fellas.
May it never change.

307
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,501
CEDRIC: None of us could have known

308
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,919
that the first bomb had been dropped.

309
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,421
The war had been declared.

310
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,047
And hard-worn secrets

311
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,966
had now fallen into the
hands of the enemy.

312
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,010
We had been betrayed by one of our own.

313
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,219
A man.

314
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,971
I'm talking about a man with a penis.

315
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,723
Someone who should know better.

316
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,642
And because of those actions,
a blitz was now on its way,

317
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,228
that would affect my entire
Band of Brothers.

318
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,522
VICKI: We have another question
in the audience, Steve.

319
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,815
Steve, I keep hooking up with guys

320
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,025
who don't want a relationship.

321
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,443
Why don't you stop hooking up?

322
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,652
Did you hear that?

323
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:16,406
Listen, men respect women
who have standards.

324
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:17,699
Just get some.

325
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,534
Exactly.

326
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,745
WOMAN 2: Steve, I'm a partner
in my law firm,

327
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:22,996
I own my own home,

328
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,040
but I've been single for three years.

329
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,834
Why can't I seem to find a man
to live up to my standards?

330
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,961
Maybe you need to adjust
them a little bit.

331
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,963
Bullshit. VICKI: Are you saying
that we should settle?

332
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,633
Look, you make six figures.
Does he have to?

333
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,717
Yes.

334
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,136
You own your own home. Does he have to?

335
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,304
Yes and yes.

336
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,014
VICKI: We have another question
here in the audience.

337
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,642
Hi, Steve. I'm currently dating

338
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,934
and I just wanna know

339
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,436
when is the right time for me

340
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,064
to introduce my man to my kid? Oh!

341
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,775
I know that single women
don't want to have

342
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,818
a parade of men coming through the house.

343
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,070
Exactly! I get that.

344
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,197
But if a guy is a serious contender...
What up, Momma?

345
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,531
Excuse you?

346
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,492
...bring him in as soon as
possible. Morning, Mom.

347
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,494
Because if you invest six months in a man

348
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,329
and then you introduce him to the kids

349
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,916
and he's not feeling the
kids, or vice versa,

350
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,710
then guess what? You just
wasted six months.

351
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,754
That's true. Did that.

352
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:23,306
Alex?

353
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:27,686
Alex!

354
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:29,145
Wake up!

355
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,318
Look, babe, I got us two
double-shot lattes.

356
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,612
Thanks, baby. Here.

357
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,615
Figured we needed some caffeine
after last night.

358
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,576
It was amazing. Mmm-hmm.

359
00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,039
I'm gonna go and freshen up.

360
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,668
So, I'll be right back.

361
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,545
I'll be right here.

362
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,424
Don't move.

363
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,633
Don't worry, I won't.

364
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,345
So, babe, I was thinking

365
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,514
maybe we could go on our first real date.

366
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,391
We could go see a movie? Yeah, babe.

367
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,517
We should do that.

368
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:10,186
Things between us are gonna start
getting real serious, baby.

369
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,107
MYA: Okay, so I was thinking maybe we could
go see the new Tyler Perry movie.

370
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,275
You know, the one where the guy's,

371
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,484
like, mean to his girlfriend,

372
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,653
and a nice guy comes and rescues her

373
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,864
and at the end, they both find Jesus.

374
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:25,368
Alex? So, yes to the Tyler Perry movie?

375
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,620
Alex!

376
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,498
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

377
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:34,627
"Michelle"?

378
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,048
It's Mya, asshole!

379
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:40,967
Mya.

380
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,219
(SIGHS)

381
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,972
Did this nigga take my coffee?

382
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,724
CEDRIC: It was like some long-hidden truth

383
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,058
had finally been released

384
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,269
in hardcover and paperback.

385
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,188
For my book club.

386
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,898
For me! For my mom!

387
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,650
For the first time in their
lives, women all over

388
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,612
stopped turning to other women
for relationship advice.

389
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,821
Really?

390
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,072
I got one too many.

391
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,240
Thank you.

392
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,494
Instead, they went straight
to a man, Steve Harvey.

393
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,996
He had made his name as a comedian,

394
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,372
but this shit here? This wasn't funny.

395
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,124
And because of this,

396
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,667
things would never be the same.

397
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,691
Excuse me?

398
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,443
Yeah, hi.

399
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,320
Hey, did you by any chance
go to Fairfax High?

400
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:43,780
Yes.

401
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,406
I went there as well. Michael Hanover.

402
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,408
Candace Hall. Yeah, I remember.

403
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,035
I had classes with your sister Lisa.

404
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,412
CASHIER: Next in line. I'm sorry,
I don't recognize you.

405
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,957
Well, yeah, I was, like, five feet tall,

406
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,291
99 pounds when we graduated.

407
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,627
I had the glasses and the buck teeth.

408
00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,671
Oh. (LAUGHS)

409
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,339
That look familiar, maybe down here?

410
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,841
Yeah, you do.

411
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,552
I don't know if that's a good
thing or a bad thing.

412
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,886
You dissing me already?

413
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,055
Well, you've grown up. Quite nicely.

414
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,558
And you haven't changed a
bit. You look amazing.

415
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:15,395
Well, you need to put those
glasses back on, obviously.

416
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,856
No, actually, I'm nearsighted.

417
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,900
Besides, I mean, how could
I forget my teenage crush?

418
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,945
I used to look at you
walk down the hallway

419
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,823
and just fall into your smile.

420
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:30,827
I'm rambling, I do that when
I get nervous. Mmm.

421
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,495
CASHIER: Next in line.

422
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,206
Well, it was nice meeting,
I mean, seeing you.

423
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,334
It's nice finally being seen.

424
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,919
(CLEARS THROAT) CASHIER:
Next in line, please.

425
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,303
Candace?

426
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,347
Could we go grab a cup of
coffee or something?

427
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,099
We could maybe catch up on
old times we never had.

428
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,352
I can't, actually. I have to pick up my...

429
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,770
Husband? No...

430
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,689
You got a boyfriend? No, I have a son.

431
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,025
Oh...

432
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,364
Well, how about dinner?

433
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,329
Yeah.

434
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,584
KRISTEN: I finally get it. GINA: Get what?

435
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,503
Getting Jeremy to propose is like getting
Jeremy to paint the kitchen

436
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,963
or put the toilet seat down.

437
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,508
It's not gonna happen until
I require him to.

438
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,344
And I haven't required him
to do a damn thing.

439
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,428
Hmm.

440
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,472
You know we still go halfsies
on everything?

441
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,890
I thought that was your idea.

442
00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,141
Yeah, in college.

443
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,310
He was work study and
I felt sorry for him.

444
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,562
And I am still paying for it, to this day.

445
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,105
Hey, I'm Kristen.

446
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,399
Hi, welcome. Welcome, please sign in.

447
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,443
Congratulations.

448
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,028
NIJA: Thank you. Six months.

449
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,655
Yeah, and we can't wait.

450
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,531
Thank you.

451
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,867
Here, come on.

452
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,077
Watch your step.

453
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,578
See, that is a man with a plan.

454
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:57,914
He knows what he wants,
he knows what he has.

455
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,167
I sell beautiful homes for a living

456
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,169
and we live in a frat house for the boys.

457
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,588
Last Valentine's Day, the boys were there.

458
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:06,881
So, you're saying, you're...

459
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,675
My God, I'm one of the boys,

460
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,760
except I have a vagina!

461
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,346
I swear to God, Frodo Baggins
had it easier.

462
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,555
I'm sorry, who?

463
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,015
Frodo, from The Hobbit.

464
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:17,433
I don't do hobbits.

465
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,602
Right, no, me neither. That's so lame.

466
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,187
Jeremy had a chess set.

467
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:22,522
It's totally stupid.

468
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:23,773
Okay, so what are you gonna do?

469
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,441
You're gonna trick him into
giving you a ring?

470
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:29,737
I'm not gonna trick him. I'm
going to require him.

471
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,531
It's been nine years. Uh-huh.

472
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,533
So, what makes you think
it's gonna change now?

473
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,034
I've got some new information.

474
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,369
Oh, you do?

475
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,914
Yeah, because Steve says "Don't
hate the Player..."

476
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,041
Change the game.

477
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:44,252
BENNETT: It's your shot. Wait!

478
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,420
You gotta raise your left leg.

479
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,008
(GRUNTS)

480
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,428
H-O, you're a ho.

481
00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:54,721
Really? I'm a ho?

482
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,389
I've been with the same
woman for nine years.

483
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,391
I'm the Stedman Graham of
relationships, all right?

484
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,309
Bro, I'm not saying ho like "whore."

485
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,477
I'm saying ho,

486
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:02,729
like punk bitch that's been henpecked,

487
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,272
so he ain't got no more nuts,

488
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:05,481
'cause his girl runs the house. Oh!

489
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,900
Speaking of which, how's Kristen?
She's incredible.

490
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:11,070
We were up till 2:00 a.m. playing Call
ofDuty last night. She loved it.

491
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,156
She does it... She does it for you.

492
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:14,532
I know my woman, okay?

493
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,492
Fantasy? Science fiction? Action figures?

494
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,119
All the stuff I love, she loves, too.

495
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,162
No, she does that shit

496
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,913
for you, trust me. Deep down
inside, she's thinking...

497
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:23,791
This is some silly-ass shit.

498
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,169
What the hell?

499
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,004
No wonder Jeremy hasn't proposed yet,

500
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,297
he hasn't gone through puberty.

501
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,175
It's time for a little spring cleaning.

502
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,179
You first.

503
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,181
No, no. That's your problem, Gail.

504
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,183
You don't never want to listen,
you just want to talk.

505
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,851
What'd I say? I said I'm
gonna be there tomorrow.

506
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,270
No, no, no. Listen, Gail...

507
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,772
I'm not gonna go back and
forth with you. Oh, man.

508
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,357
'Cause I'm trying to talk and you ain't
gonna let me say what I... Hello?

509
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,734
Gail?

510
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,986
Did it again. Hung up on me again.

511
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:53,988
What do you call the three
rings of marriage?

512
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,198
No clue.

513
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,992
The engagement ring, the wedding
ring, and the suffer-ring.

514
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,952
Oh, and, in your case, the beat-ing.

515
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,120
This is not the time.

516
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,830
You know, y'all underestimate
me because I'm short.

517
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:03,998
No, it's 'cause you a fool.

518
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,875
What up? What's happening, baby?

519
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,502
The hell's wrong with you?

520
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,253
You're stoned. Yeah, you're high!

521
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,379
(GRUNTS)

522
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,422
Either you're high,

523
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,382
or everything on my eHarmony
profile is true.

524
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,884
I'm high off life, gentlemen.

525
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,636
I met this girl.

526
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,889
No, matter of fact, she's not even a girl.

527
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,349
I met a woman.

528
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,017
But you are a woman.

529
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,482
Order up!

530
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,485
Hey, guess who's back. Table eight.

531
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,780
(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)

532
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,824
She is way out of your league, Dom.

533
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,826
Ain't no such thing, playboy.

534
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,036
All right, she probably spends
more here in one night

535
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,496
than you make in a month.

536
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:46,082
That's true, but, you know,

537
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:48,042
just think how much she'll
save if I cook for her.

538
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,335
Oh, you crazy.

539
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,087
Dominic. Scallions?

540
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,839
All right, Chef, coming up.

541
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:53,923
Well, you look cute. What's going on?

542
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,007
I do?

543
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,093
Yes. Thank you, that was nice of you.

544
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:58,845
Just, you know, Duke made Little League,

545
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,429
got a new laptop, met a guy.

546
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,723
I think I'm gonna try the white sea bass.

547
00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Met a what?

548
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,726
A guy.

549
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,186
A real one? Not a blow-up doll?

550
00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:09,730
Okay, don't look so surprised.
It's not that...

551
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,357
Honey, I'm just saying,

552
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,025
it's been two years since your divorce.

553
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,695
And three, maybe four, since you had sex.

554
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,446
I said I met a guy, Lauren,

555
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,031
I didn't say I was changing my last name.

556
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,199
Yet.

557
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,536
I need all the details,
honey. Now. Spill it.

558
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,955
Is she hot? Whoo! Pure fire.

559
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,123
Does she got real big titties?

560
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,208
Yeah, what's the rack like?
Tell us about the rack.

561
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,544
The rack. Definitely some white boy shit.

562
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,713
It is white boy shit. We love breasts.

563
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,715
You're not even white,
Bennett. You're clear.

564
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,134
He's got kind eyes. Soulful. Yes!

565
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,302
He's sensitive.

566
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,887
I know she got a fat ass.

567
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,556
She got that JLo, Serena Williams mash up.

568
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,350
Ass so big, I could hide underneath
it if it was raining.

569
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,060
That's way too much ass. No such thing.

570
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,770
Damn right, it ain't. The
bigger, the better.

571
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:53,232
But it wasn't just a physical attraction,

572
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,609
it was intellectual.

573
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,236
He loved The Immortal Life
of Henrietta Lacks.

574
00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,072
He bought one for his mom's book
club. Isn't that sweet?

575
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,532
Yeah, and kind of gay.

576
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,617
He's a gentleman.

577
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,036
Yo, she a ho. I know she a
ho. Oh, definitely a ho.

578
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,871
Both of you, you both watch
your mouth, all right?

579
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,414
This one's not a ho.

580
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:09,624
She's a lady.

581
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,876
JEREMY: Whipped already. CEDRIC:
Enjoy it while it lasts, Mike.

582
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,920
Let me tell you something, it
ain't gonna last forever.

583
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,379
They all start out happy.

584
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,089
See, but here's when it gets real.

585
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,217
When you wake up in the morning,
and you go in the living room,

586
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,594
and you catch her pissing
inside of your Jordans.

587
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,054
And not the regular Jordans.

588
00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,014
I'm talking about the ones with
the patent leather on the side,

589
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,224
where the pee don't come out.

590
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,434
Don't listen to them, Mike. Relationships
are beautiful.

591
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:29,602
(GROANS IN DISGUST)

592
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,354
Just saying. So, when are
you guys going out?

593
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:32,563
Saturday night.

594
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,565
She got to find a sitter,
first, and then...

595
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,775
What, like a dog sitter?

596
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,109
No, she has a son.

597
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,778
What? She has a child.

598
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,446
All right, well, be careful
dating a baby mama.

599
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,530
Why?

600
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,115
Because she's the baby mama.

601
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,450
Dude, she ain't looking
for a couple laughs

602
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:45,618
and some butt-naked sex.

603
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,453
She been a couple laughs
and some butt-naked sex.

604
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,996
Preach. She looking for a husband.

605
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,206
A father for her son.

606
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,499
Speaking of which, where's the baby daddy?

607
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,459
Oh, good question, Zeke. Thank you.

608
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:54,543
JEREMY: Could be a psycho.

609
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,629
Just got paroled for killing
her last boyfriend.

610
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,090
Or he could be one of those guys
that like to hide in a bush

611
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,258
waiting for a strange guy

612
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,509
to come to his baby mom's house.

613
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,970
And when he gets there,
he pops out the bushes

614
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,972
hits this guy on the back
of the head with a brick.

615
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,223
Without even realizing

616
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,308
that this guy's relationship with
his baby mom was platonic.

617
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,810
They ever catch that guy?

618
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,103
No, it's a cold case.

619
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:13,688
The cops won't even revisit the case.

620
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,022
They said they couldn't find the brick.

621
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,609
I'm just saying, I'm just saying.

622
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,112
None of that matters. ZEKE: Really?

623
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,531
'Cause you should see her smile.

624
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:26,284
Oh, shit. All right! Okay.
Good night, Mike.

625
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,535
CEDRIC: Talking to you about bricks!

626
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:28,828
You wanna go talk about a smile.

627
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,204
There is one thing, though.

628
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,622
I knew it, he was born a woman.

629
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,749
No. (GIGGLING)

630
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,710
He's, you know, he's... He's what?

631
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:36,961
A little younger.

632
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:38,671
You have kidnapped a cub, haven't you?

633
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:39,839
No, I'll have you know,

634
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,257
he seems very mature, actually.

635
00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,425
Mmm-hmm.

636
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,010
Wait a minute, why am I
getting all worked up?

637
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,303
We haven't even had a date yet.

638
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,847
I still need to qualify if
he's even a contender.

639
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,265
Qualify?

640
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:50,766
You know, like... What are
his long-term goals?

641
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,685
What are his short-term
goals? Can he provide?

642
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,478
Don't hit him with all that at once.

643
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:57,690
I know, don't worry. I
intend to be stealth.

644
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,692
You? How?

645
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:04,405
By acting like a lady, but
thinking like a man.

646
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,699
Oh, you fell for that sexist crap?

647
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,035
He's actually giving insight
into a man's perspective.

648
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:11,162
Why should I have to lower my standards

649
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:12,580
to get a man? Who does that?

650
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,206
I'm sorry. Now, what man?

651
00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:15,583
I just want my equal.

652
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:18,377
Okay? Or at least an attractive,
cultured man.

653
00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,296
Who's over six feet tall,
makes six figures,

654
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,882
and isn't intimidated by my success.

655
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:25,301
Okay, girl. Quit chasing the ghost
of James Merrill's past.

656
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,386
He is married and long gone.

657
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,596
Mmm. That man was fine.

658
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:31,057
Here we go. Let's do a
little research, here.

659
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,184
Ah! This is you. Please, I don't...

660
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,728
"Strong, independent, and lonely women."

661
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,481
I don't need some bald-headed
man on a book

662
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,232
telling me I am strong and independent.

663
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,359
Honey, that's a given.

664
00:22:41,568 --> 00:22:42,610
But you forgot lonely.

665
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:44,070
You are a bitch.

666
00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,404
You're too strong, Lauren.

667
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,656
There's no such thing as too strong.

668
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:48,866
And you know what?

669
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,659
If I were a man,

670
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:53,287
being the youngest COO of
a Fortune 500 company

671
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:54,789
would actually be a good thing.

672
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,123
Women would flock.

673
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,042
Yeah, but men flee when
you lead with that.

674
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,794
And it's not just your job, Lauren.

675
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:02,171
Remember what Marcel said
on your last date,

676
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:03,297
after you trumped his wine choice?

677
00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:04,423
It was a better choice.

678
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:05,633
What were his words again?

679
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,928
"You don't need a man, Lauren,
you are a man."

680
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,889
Happy belated birthday. For you.

681
00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:15,559
I'm just saying, all this
waiting for better?

682
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:16,769
It's making you bitter.

683
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,441
Hey, babe?

684
00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:26,612
I stopped off for a beer, but
picked us up some dinner.

685
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:27,947
Oh!

686
00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:29,031
Oh, my God.

687
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,952
Oh, my God! My anime posters!
We got robbed!

688
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,746
Kris! Are you home?

689
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,623
Yes. Where's the fire? What's going on?

690
00:23:37,791 --> 00:23:39,291
Have you not noticed that
we've been robbed?

691
00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:41,585
I just tidied up a little bit. Relax.

692
00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,587
Tidied up? Yeah.

693
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,631
Justice League? Darth Vader? SpongeBob?

694
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:46,966
Where are they? Are they okay?

695
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,801
They are safe. They're fine.

696
00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:49,885
(SIGHS)

697
00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:52,847
I just thought we could
paint the living room.

698
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,390
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

699
00:23:54,474 --> 00:23:55,516
Paint.

700
00:23:56,184 --> 00:23:58,144
Okay. And redecorate.

701
00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:01,605
Redecorate? Yeah.

702
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:02,982
I thought you loved that stuff.

703
00:24:03,066 --> 00:24:04,400
Why would you want to do that?

704
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,527
Because it looks like we live
in a frat house, Jeremy.

705
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,612
Oh, stop it. We are adults,
for Christ's sakes.

706
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:09,864
We make a decent living.

707
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:12,158
I think it's time to invest
and make this a real home.

708
00:24:12,325 --> 00:24:15,494
With matching dishes and glasses

709
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,290
and a new couch.

710
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,167
Well, what's wrong with my couch?

711
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,463
Baby, you pulled it out of a dumpster.

712
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:26,630
Yeah.

713
00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:29,383
I'm pretty sure Annalisa was impregnated,
like, right there.

714
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,260
It's got cigarette burns, bong spills,

715
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,803
there was the scabies scare of '06.

716
00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,346
You're being dramatic. No, I'm really not.

717
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,432
Your aunt who tinkles when she laughs?

718
00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:38,476
She pissed all over the
couch last Christmas.

719
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:40,686
It's disgusting. We're like animals.

720
00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:43,564
I cleaned up the bong spill
and the cigarette burns.

721
00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:45,024
This couch has history.

722
00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:47,193
And now it is history.

723
00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:51,113
So, here are some new ideas.

724
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:53,741
I thought we could look it over.

725
00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,451
Research some new styles.

726
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,203
Gotta zero in on a color palette.

727
00:24:57,537 --> 00:25:00,331
I know you like mauve. You know?

728
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,708
There was that period you went through,

729
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,335
where you were partial to salmon.

730
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:07,129
Yeah, I'd rather watch Letters
to Juliet with you again.

731
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,757
I know you would. 'Cause you cried
at the end when they got reunited.

732
00:25:09,841 --> 00:25:11,592
I wasn't crying, okay?

733
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,303
I was having an allergic reaction
to the perfume in the theater.

734
00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:15,387
You bought the soundtrack.

735
00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:17,473
It's a good soundtrack.

736
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,226
Look, I'm really bad at this. Okay?

737
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:21,685
Please, can you do this?

738
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,187
Without me? Really?

739
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:24,897
Really.

740
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:26,232
By myself?

741
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,192
Yeah.

742
00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:31,445
I trust you. Awesome.

743
00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:32,821
MYA: Okay, let me ask you a question.

744
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,908
Where is the last guy that you slept
with in less than 90 days?

745
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,076
You mean, John?

746
00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:38,285
Hey! Baby!

747
00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:39,620
'Sup, girl?

748
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,247
Hey, I had a great time the other night.

749
00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:42,414
Oh, did you, Alex?

750
00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:43,874
Yeah, Melanie. I was gonna call you...

751
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,418
Melanie? It's Mya, negro.

752
00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:48,462
Yeah. I gotta go. So, I'll call you.

753
00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:51,423
I know you did not just call her Melanie.

754
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:53,759
It's okay. I'm not even gonna
let him get to me.

755
00:25:53,927 --> 00:25:56,095
(SIGHS) I am in a better place
and I am on another level.

756
00:25:58,181 --> 00:26:00,182
I don't know, Sonia. I feel
like I have X-ray vision.

757
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:01,850
Like, Man Goggles.

758
00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:03,686
You know, we spend all
this time complaining

759
00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:05,479
about how guys don't want
to be in relationships,

760
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:06,814
they just want to hook up.

761
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,732
But really, all along,
we've had the power.

762
00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:11,026
Right. We have?

763
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,904
Yes! We control the cookie.

764
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,781
She who controls the cookie
controls the game.

765
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,826
Oh, okay, I got it. What's the cookie?

766
00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:21,787
It's a metaphor. For what?

767
00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:23,372
For...

768
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,917
Oh. (GASPS) Oh!

769
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,128
Yes. The cookie! The cookie!

770
00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:30,379
I got it. The cookie!

771
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:32,298
MYA: I'm telling you, the
power's in the cookie.

772
00:26:32,465 --> 00:26:34,675
So, how do we control the cookie?

773
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:36,427
By putting it in the cookie jar,

774
00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,971
clasping the lid on tight,
and leaving it in there.

775
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,139
Okay.

776
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:43,058
Until some little boy actually
grows up and earns it.

777
00:26:43,143 --> 00:26:44,184
I get it.

778
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,020
It's kind of like when my cousin
had the five-date rule.

779
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,354
It was similar to that.

780
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:48,647
Oh, no. That's child's play.

781
00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:50,733
I'm thinking something a
little bit more radical.

782
00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,234
See, this is why you need to get the book,

783
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,861
because it has a whole chapter on it.

784
00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:56,822
"Getting The Respect That You
Deserve: The 90-Day Rule."

785
00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:57,948
Are you high?

786
00:26:58,033 --> 00:26:59,950
No. Who is waiting 90 days?

787
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:02,411
If it's good enough for the
Fortune 500 company,

788
00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:03,787
it's good enough for me.

789
00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:05,581
See, when I worked at Ford Motor Company,

790
00:27:05,665 --> 00:27:07,666
there was a 90-day probation rule.

791
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:09,835
I had to be on the job for 90 days

792
00:27:09,919 --> 00:27:11,503
before they gave me a benefit package.

793
00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:14,798
Ford figured this, "Let's
see how he performs.

794
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:17,926
"If he comes in on time,
if he proves himself,

795
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:19,845
"then we'll give him benefits."

796
00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:22,640
So if Ford Motor Company waits 90 days

797
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,975
to pass out their benefit package,

798
00:27:25,352 --> 00:27:26,685
why won't women wait?

799
00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:27,895
You see, that's our problem.

800
00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:29,647
It's that we keep giving it away

801
00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:31,440
to some Axe body spray wearing man-ho

802
00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:32,691
who thinks my name's Melanie.

803
00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:35,527
But it doesn't matter, because
a girl's got needs.

804
00:27:35,695 --> 00:27:36,862
Listen to yourself.

805
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:39,531
Do you really think you
could wait 90 days?

806
00:27:39,699 --> 00:27:41,659
Yes. I spent six months dreaming

807
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:43,702
about a guy that I met once
at a wedding weekend.

808
00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:45,537
The one you had sex with at the beach?

809
00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:47,790
Yes, who never called.

810
00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:50,000
Yeah, so, I definitely think
I could do 90 days.

811
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:52,211
Matter of fact, I could do
90 days before 90 days.

812
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,962
I am so sick and tired of men.

813
00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,506
Maybe I should start dating women.

814
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,966
My God, I'll give you 50
bucks if you guys kiss.

815
00:27:58,051 --> 00:28:00,219
But there has to be tongue.
Boy, get out of here!

816
00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:01,303
(MAN 1 HOWLING) MAN 2: Gave it a shot.

817
00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:04,264
What is wrong with the men
of this generation?

818
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:05,599
(LAUGHING) Like, what?

819
00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:08,268
I ask myself that same question every day.

820
00:28:08,436 --> 00:28:10,604
Whatever happened to respect for women?

821
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:13,107
Whatever happened to decorum?

822
00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:15,901
May I have the honor of buying
you two lovely ladies a drink?

823
00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:18,237
Absolutely. And thank you for asking.

824
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:19,488
We would like... Why?

825
00:28:19,781 --> 00:28:22,616
Is it that you crave scintillating
conversation?

826
00:28:22,784 --> 00:28:24,159
Or that you want to discuss the politics

827
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,577
and nuances of the Chechnyan War?

828
00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:27,955
You know, I don't really discuss
politics on the first encounter.

829
00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,124
And neither do we. This is why I'm...
Oh, no, I know what it is.

830
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:32,584
It's the visual thing, right?

831
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,169
You saw me, you sexualized me,

832
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:35,421
you wanted to get into my pants?

833
00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:36,547
Absolutely not.

834
00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:38,173
Yeah, but then, what is it?

835
00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:40,092
Because, you know, you don't know me.

836
00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,802
I could be a psycho.

837
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,512
I could be a serial killer.

838
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:45,097
I could have 16 personalities.

839
00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:47,683
Let me get a Crown and
Coke. Got you covered.

840
00:28:47,851 --> 00:28:49,518
And 16 of whatever she's having?

841
00:28:51,312 --> 00:28:52,938
My name is Zeke.

842
00:28:58,945 --> 00:28:59,987
Mya.

843
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,780
Nice to meet you, Mya.

844
00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:05,117
Day one, 89 more to go.

845
00:29:06,619 --> 00:29:08,287
COOK: Order for table 16!

846
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,789
Dominic. Valet's slammed.
Go park some cars.

847
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:17,546
Thank you. Thanks.

848
00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:18,922
(ENGINE RUMBLING)

849
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:28,223
CHORUS: ♪ I ♪ My, my, my, my

850
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:31,477
CHORUS: ♪ Oh, I

851
00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,562
♪ Girl, you're the key to my happiness

852
00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:36,023
♪ And I CHORUS: ♪ Can't
get next to you, baby

853
00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:38,567
♪ Lord CHORUS: ♪ Can't get next to you

854
00:29:38,651 --> 00:29:40,068
♪ I been trying a long time

855
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:41,653
Hey, that's my car!

856
00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:45,032
♪ I don't know what to do CHORUS:
♪ Can't get next to you

857
00:29:45,116 --> 00:29:48,827
♪ Ooh, let me tell you CHORUS: ♪ I

858
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,790
Who says you have to compromise?

859
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:54,333
♪ Oh, I ♪

860
00:29:58,171 --> 00:29:59,755
Okay, where's the window?

861
00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:01,173
(CONGA PLAYING ON STEREO)

862
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:02,633
♪ Come on, shake your body,
baby, do the conga

863
00:30:02,717 --> 00:30:04,510
♪ I know you can't control
yourself any longer

864
00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,178
♪ Feel the rhythm of the
music getting stronger ♪

865
00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:08,555
(MUSIC TURNS OFF) Window. Window, window.

866
00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:10,891
AUTOMATED VOICE: Not the
final destination.

867
00:30:11,267 --> 00:30:12,309
Door open.

868
00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:13,560
Ah, shit.

869
00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:16,897
Hi.

870
00:30:17,190 --> 00:30:18,482
If I didn't know any better,

871
00:30:18,566 --> 00:30:20,025
I'd think you were following me.

872
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,736
No, just, uh...

873
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,697
Just out for a drive, that's all.

874
00:30:25,865 --> 00:30:27,574
Have a safe drive.

875
00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:29,368
Well, wait.

876
00:30:30,078 --> 00:30:31,578
You changed your mind?

877
00:30:31,788 --> 00:30:33,622
You think I could take you
to dinner sometime?

878
00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:35,582
How's tomorrow night?

879
00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,837
HARVEY: Look, we love the fact that
you're a strong, confident woman

880
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,088
with a fabulous job,

881
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,714
but we're men.

882
00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:46,385
Our DNA is encoded to be the provider.

883
00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:48,428
And if you don't ever let us feel

884
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:50,055
like we're in control and necessary,

885
00:30:50,139 --> 00:30:52,558
we're just not about to profess
our love to you.

886
00:30:52,725 --> 00:30:54,309
I mean, we'll just find us a woman

887
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,727
who actually makes us feel like a man.

888
00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:56,937
Yeah, a ho.

889
00:30:57,063 --> 00:30:59,314
We're kind of like dogs, see, you pet us,

890
00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:00,899
we'll be loyal to you forever.

891
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:03,318
Yeah, dogs. There you go, Steve.

892
00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:07,489
I don't need that book.

893
00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:16,915
(DUKE WHOOPING)

894
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:18,125
Oh, yes! Yeah! Huh!

895
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:21,169
Oh, honey. Jennifer's coming
over tonight to babysit.

896
00:31:21,337 --> 00:31:23,422
You're going to bingo with Grandma?

897
00:31:23,590 --> 00:31:26,049
No, actually. I have a date. Really?

898
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:27,718
With a man or a woman?

899
00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:30,596
A man! Duke, why would
you even ask me that?

900
00:31:30,763 --> 00:31:33,015
Because I overheard Grandma say

901
00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:34,766
that she was beginning to wonder.

902
00:31:34,934 --> 00:31:36,935
You know I'm cool either way.

903
00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,520
Yo, sorry I'm late.

904
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:39,980
Yo, Bennett, get in the game, let's go.

905
00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:41,189
What's up, man?

906
00:31:41,357 --> 00:31:42,941
I had the best night of my
entire life last night.

907
00:31:43,109 --> 00:31:44,234
ZEKE: Is that right? Unbelievable.

908
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:45,527
Check ball. I thought you
got fired last night.

909
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:47,779
That's all right. I'll make
twice as much catering.

910
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:49,239
All right. Play ball. MICHAEL:
Hope she's worth it.

911
00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:51,158
What you gonna do with that?
What you gonna do with that?

912
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:52,492
Count it!

913
00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:54,453
Over the back!

914
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,788
See, I'm taking her to The Lounge.

915
00:31:56,956 --> 00:31:58,749
Maurice hooked me up with a private room

916
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,084
and all I gotta pay for
is wine and a fat tip.

917
00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:02,210
Nice.

918
00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:04,630
So you gonna be escorting her
in that 2005 Honda Civic,

919
00:32:04,797 --> 00:32:08,300
with the missing bumper or that $155,000
car she think you drive?

920
00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:10,302
I'm just gonna level with her, I guess.

921
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,262
And tell her what?

922
00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:13,430
That you an unemployed prep cook?

923
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,474
Zeke, unemployed Culinary
Institute graduate.

924
00:32:15,558 --> 00:32:16,683
We talked about this.

925
00:32:16,851 --> 00:32:18,435
Yes, that's not my point. That's stupid.

926
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:19,686
That's dumb, Dom.

927
00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:21,647
You trying to get some,
you gonna have to lie.

928
00:32:21,814 --> 00:32:23,649
Listen, one time I told Gail
I just won the lottery.

929
00:32:23,733 --> 00:32:26,068
I need some gas money so I can go redeem
the ticket. She gave me $20.

930
00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:27,527
Don't lie to her.

931
00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:28,737
I don't want to lie to her.

932
00:32:28,863 --> 00:32:31,865
Okay, hold up. You don't
have to lie. You omit.

933
00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,492
Just, no, no, you omit.

934
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:35,077
You just tell her you're a high-end chef

935
00:32:35,161 --> 00:32:36,662
that's in between gigs.

936
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:37,829
Your car's in the shop.

937
00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:39,748
She think you drive an expensive car,

938
00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:41,124
you're not driving it 'cause
it's in the shop.

939
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:42,960
Matter of fact, my cousin,
he got a town car company.

940
00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,169
I'll get you a town car.

941
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,213
So all you gotta do is wine
her, you dine her,

942
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:47,464
you tattoo your name in that ass,

943
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:48,757
then you tell her the truth.

944
00:32:48,841 --> 00:32:50,008
Gail thought I was an account executive

945
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,301
and I met her in the mail room.

946
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:52,427
I had mail in my hand.

947
00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:54,012
Yeah, but you became an account
exec right after that.

948
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:55,263
That had nothing to do with Gail.

949
00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:56,890
She set up your interview. No,
she didn't. Thomas did.

950
00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:59,893
Don't cut me off, Mike. That's what
Gail do, I don't like that.

951
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,937
MICHAEL: Why's he so sensitive?
All right, Dom, either way,

952
00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:03,855
once a woman's into you, she'll
put up with anything.

953
00:33:04,023 --> 00:33:05,023
Trust me.

954
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:07,359
Only if you're putting it on her right.

955
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:09,361
All right. That's...

956
00:33:09,570 --> 00:33:10,654
Come on, man.

957
00:33:10,738 --> 00:33:11,738
I'm gonna go clean the ball off.

958
00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:12,823
MICHAEL: Bennett, just wipe it off.

959
00:33:12,907 --> 00:33:15,075
BENNETT: No, I got some
sanitizer in my bag.

960
00:33:22,959 --> 00:33:24,209
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

961
00:33:24,293 --> 00:33:26,169
(QUESTIONING IN ITALIAN)

962
00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:30,048
Sorry, man. Wrong apartment.

963
00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:31,466
(QUESTIONING IN ITALIAN)

964
00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:33,135
That's my lucky chair.

965
00:33:33,219 --> 00:33:34,344
What are you guys doing?

966
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:36,054
Baby! What do you think?

967
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:38,306
We spent the entire day at H. D. Buttercup

968
00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:39,891
and we decided to go

969
00:33:40,059 --> 00:33:41,309
with modern with a mix of vintage.

970
00:33:41,394 --> 00:33:42,436
"We"?

971
00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:44,813
Yeah. Gianni, our designer.

972
00:33:44,897 --> 00:33:46,231
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

973
00:33:46,315 --> 00:33:49,609
Old out, new in, beautiful, eh?

974
00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:52,612
(BOTH SPEAKING ITALIAN)

975
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:54,906
I think it doesn't even look
like our place, babe.

976
00:33:55,074 --> 00:33:56,867
Exactly, it looks like grown-ups
live here. I love it.

977
00:33:56,951 --> 00:33:57,993
Stop!

978
00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,830
Put the chair down.

979
00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:03,999
The lucky chair stays.

980
00:34:06,669 --> 00:34:07,878
Compromise.

981
00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:10,505
(GIANNI EXCLAIMING IN ITALIAN)

982
00:34:11,257 --> 00:34:12,257
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

983
00:34:14,802 --> 00:34:17,763
Fuck, what... You speak Italian now?

984
00:34:18,097 --> 00:34:20,640
♪ They love how we do it

985
00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:23,018
♪ They love how we do it ♪

986
00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:24,770
Oh, my God.

987
00:34:25,271 --> 00:34:27,147
That's your dress. Yeah?

988
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,816
Your ass looks great in that dress.

989
00:34:29,984 --> 00:34:31,568
No, it's too sexy.

990
00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:33,403
There's no such thing.

991
00:34:33,571 --> 00:34:36,907
Sonia, I want him to last
90 days, not 90 seconds.

992
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:40,160
I want to project "Keeper,"
not "Sports Fish."

993
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:42,287
Okay, what the hell is a sports fish?

994
00:34:42,455 --> 00:34:43,914
See, this is why you need
to read the book!

995
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:45,457
I don't want to read the book.

996
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:48,085
Steve says that a guy only
fishes for two reasons.

997
00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:50,003
Number one, he fishes to eat.

998
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,880
That means he's looking for a keeper,

999
00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:53,173
somebody to take home,

1000
00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:55,342
somebody to introduce to his mom,

1001
00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:57,260
somebody to build a life with.

1002
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,596
Or two, he's looking for a sports fish.

1003
00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,264
That means he's looking for a trophy,

1004
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:03,141
somebody to show off to his buddies,

1005
00:35:03,309 --> 00:35:04,935
put up on the wall as a prize.

1006
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,895
But you gotta be careful with that one,

1007
00:35:06,979 --> 00:35:08,522
'cause he's gonna throw that one back.

1008
00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:15,612
Okay.

1009
00:35:16,906 --> 00:35:17,989
How do I look?

1010
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:21,076
Like a keeper. With a great ass.

1011
00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:22,327
Yeah? Yes!

1012
00:35:22,411 --> 00:35:25,789
Right. Now, the question is, is he?

1013
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:27,332
Now I just need my hit list.

1014
00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,000
Now, what the hell is a hit list?

1015
00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:30,794
Will you get your wine off my hit list?

1016
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,921
Girl, you're crazy.

1017
00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:37,467
This is where I wrote down my strategic
dos and don'ts for my date tonight.

1018
00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:39,261
Okay, you know you sound like
you're going to war, right?

1019
00:35:39,428 --> 00:35:41,304
Yes, girl, because love is a battlefield.

1020
00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:42,472
Oh, boy.

1021
00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:44,933
Steve says you have to set
the requirements very high

1022
00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,434
before you even get in the car,

1023
00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:47,727
'cause you don't want to
become Chirp-chirp Girl.

1024
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:48,854
A what?

1025
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:51,064
Chirp-chirp. He just hits
the locks and you hop in.

1026
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:52,816
He don't even have to open the door.

1027
00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,776
I don't see nothing wrong with
being a Chirp-chirp Girl.

1028
00:35:58,573 --> 00:36:02,993
♪ Baby, tonight, the night I let you know

1029
00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:07,873
♪ Baby, tonight, the night we lose control

1030
00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,167
♪ Baby, tonight

1031
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,960
You look beautiful.

1032
00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:13,253
Thanks.

1033
00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:15,213
Amazing.

1034
00:36:15,298 --> 00:36:20,010
♪ Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had

1035
00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:22,220
(GASPS) Sweet!

1036
00:36:22,513 --> 00:36:26,391
Where to? Goddamn, look how
small your skirt is.

1037
00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:28,018
(WHOOPS) (DOMINIC CLEARS THROAT)

1038
00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:29,644
Right. Unprofessional.

1039
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:31,813
Sorry, sir, take it out of my tip.

1040
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:35,233
♪ I don't wanna brag but I'll be

1041
00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:40,113
♪ The best you ever had ♪

1042
00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:42,157
(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)

1043
00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:43,408
Um...

1044
00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:48,246
It's open.

1045
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:51,333
I don't go out on dates with guys
who don't open the door for me.

1046
00:36:51,709 --> 00:36:53,043
Really? Really.

1047
00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:54,586
Seriously? Yes.

1048
00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:55,879
Aw, man!

1049
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:01,384
No, he didn't.

1050
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:07,349
Got you!

1051
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,270
Your chariot awaits.

1052
00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:13,605
Thank you.

1053
00:37:13,856 --> 00:37:15,607
Funny guy, huh?

1054
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:17,525
I do okay.

1055
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,198
Hey, look, I think there's
a few basic questions

1056
00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:24,574
that every woman should ask a man

1057
00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:26,284
to determine two things,

1058
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:27,911
if this guy has a plan for you,

1059
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,664
or if this guy is just
gonna play with you.

1060
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,250
My short-term goals?

1061
00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:35,377
What, you mean like tomorrow?

1062
00:37:38,589 --> 00:37:39,631
I need a bong hit.

1063
00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:41,091
MICHAEL: To answer your question,

1064
00:37:41,175 --> 00:37:43,760
I guess my long-term goals and short-term
goals are the same thing.

1065
00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:45,136
CANDACE: How so?

1066
00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:47,097
Well, my entire life,

1067
00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:50,684
it's always been about hard
work and improving myself

1068
00:37:50,893 --> 00:37:53,228
and I guess what I'm looking for now is,

1069
00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:55,397
you know, someone I can share it with.

1070
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:57,732
So... So, have you...

1071
00:37:57,858 --> 00:37:59,234
You go ahead, you go. You go.

1072
00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:01,861
Um...

1073
00:38:02,905 --> 00:38:05,323
What are your short-term goals?

1074
00:38:05,992 --> 00:38:07,867
You know what?

1075
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:10,120
I'd like to skip dinner and
get right to dessert.

1076
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,871
DOMINIC: That's where it started,

1077
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,248
you know? Really?

1078
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,875
This is a great choice.

1079
00:38:16,043 --> 00:38:18,086
Thank you. Thank you.

1080
00:38:18,170 --> 00:38:19,421
So, Lauren, tell me more about yourself.

1081
00:38:19,505 --> 00:38:20,505
What do you do?

1082
00:38:21,215 --> 00:38:22,757
I'm in management.

1083
00:38:22,925 --> 00:38:25,135
For a media company.

1084
00:38:25,219 --> 00:38:28,888
Yeah. But I don't wanna talk about
me, my work. Long week.

1085
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:30,932
So, tell me about you. What do you do?

1086
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:34,436
Um... I'm a chef.

1087
00:38:34,603 --> 00:38:36,479
Really? Where?

1088
00:38:37,064 --> 00:38:38,606
Well, I'm actually

1089
00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:44,070
deciding between two different
offers. That good, huh?

1090
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,364
Yeah. But I don't wanna...

1091
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:48,616
I kinda don't want to jinx it, you know?

1092
00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:51,286
No, I get it. No, don't, you shouldn't.

1093
00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:52,579
(MIMICS ZIP)

1094
00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:54,372
Okay, you know what?

1095
00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:55,749
Let's not even talk about work anymore.

1096
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,459
Yeah, let's not.

1097
00:38:57,626 --> 00:39:00,587
So, what are your views on relationships?

1098
00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:03,214
Or your long-term goals. Either one.

1099
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:05,759
Um...

1100
00:39:07,553 --> 00:39:08,595
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

1101
00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:09,929
(STAMMERING) To be honest,

1102
00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:12,390
I really want to open my
own restaurant one day.

1103
00:39:14,101 --> 00:39:16,561
Sorry, that's work.

1104
00:39:16,729 --> 00:39:18,605
No, that's a dream.

1105
00:39:19,815 --> 00:39:21,691
We can talk about dreams. Dreams are good.

1106
00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:26,029
It's nice to hear a woman
actually say that.

1107
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,199
I just believe you can make
any dream come true

1108
00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:32,827
if you're willing to work
hard enough to get it.

1109
00:39:33,871 --> 00:39:35,747
I couldn't agree with you more.

1110
00:39:36,832 --> 00:39:38,458
Cheers. Salud.

1111
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:41,669
(EXHALING)

1112
00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:53,098
Remember when we were in college
and we used to get

1113
00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:56,434
like, so high and talk for hours?

1114
00:39:57,353 --> 00:39:58,436
(LAUGHS) Yeah.

1115
00:40:00,022 --> 00:40:04,859
Like about our dreams, and like
our plans and our goals.

1116
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:06,945
And time travel.

1117
00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,989
Like, what do you think about
the future, Jeremy?

1118
00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:14,369
I don't think we'll be riding around
in hovercrafts or anything,

1119
00:40:14,453 --> 00:40:15,829
but droids.

1120
00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:18,498
Definitely droids. There better be droids.

1121
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:21,376
No, I mean, like your future, Jeremy.

1122
00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:24,796
What are your long-term goals, Jeremy?

1123
00:40:28,259 --> 00:40:30,009
Who are you, Oprah?

1124
00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:33,096
You're funny. (LAUGHING)

1125
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,726
I just have this amazing idea
of a rocker, chic kinda look,

1126
00:40:39,311 --> 00:40:40,395
so, it's really exciting.

1127
00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:42,105
No, that is exciting. Yeah.

1128
00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:43,314
Yeah.

1129
00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:44,816
So, um,

1130
00:40:45,484 --> 00:40:48,695
what are some of your long-term goals?

1131
00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:51,823
Kind of a fly-by-the-seat- of-your-pants
kinda guy, you know?

1132
00:40:52,908 --> 00:40:53,992
Oh, okay.

1133
00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,911
That's cool.

1134
00:40:58,747 --> 00:41:00,290
(R&B SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)

1135
00:41:00,374 --> 00:41:03,334
Oh, turn that up. Turn
that up, turn that up.

1136
00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:05,962
That is my... Yeah.

1137
00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:07,755
You know these guys?

1138
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,340
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

1139
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,343
(LAUGHS) My band opened for them once.

1140
00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,429
You have a band?

1141
00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:15,638
Had.

1142
00:41:16,348 --> 00:41:17,891
Had a record deal for a second.

1143
00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:20,143
Let me hear your CD. Come on!

1144
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,270
What makes you think that I have a CD?

1145
00:41:22,438 --> 00:41:24,564
I don't know anybody who's
been in an R&B band

1146
00:41:24,648 --> 00:41:25,857
who doesn't have their
own CD in their car.

1147
00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:29,277
Wow, I feel so unique right
now, it's crazy.

1148
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:31,321
That's why you're reaching for it. Yeah.

1149
00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:33,948
Let me see it.

1150
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:36,743
Wow!

1151
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,119
That is crazy.

1152
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,330
Hey, at least I didn't have a Jheri curl.

1153
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,581
(LAUGHS) What?

1154
00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:43,416
Play me your favorite track.

1155
00:41:45,669 --> 00:41:46,711
Wow.

1156
00:41:48,672 --> 00:41:49,714
AUTOMATED VOICE: Please say a command.

1157
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,633
CD. Play track

1158
00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,220
seven.

1159
00:41:55,387 --> 00:41:57,222
Playing track seven.

1160
00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:02,060
♪ Last night I had a dream about a dream

1161
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,063
♪ About you

1162
00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:09,901
You wrote this?

1163
00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:13,988
♪ Now every time I think it seems to be

1164
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,407
♪ About you

1165
00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:21,371
This is beautiful.

1166
00:42:21,455 --> 00:42:24,666
♪ One minute I was over love

1167
00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:29,796
♪ A second later I was a part of us

1168
00:42:30,005 --> 00:42:31,047
Who was she?

1169
00:42:31,423 --> 00:42:32,465
Who?

1170
00:42:33,008 --> 00:42:34,425
The girl who broke your heart.

1171
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:36,803
What makes you think a
girl broke my heart?

1172
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:39,389
Track seven.

1173
00:42:43,936 --> 00:42:46,062
I left that all on the track.

1174
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:49,440
♪ Last night I had a dream about a dream

1175
00:42:49,525 --> 00:42:51,150
♪ About... ♪

1176
00:42:56,490 --> 00:42:57,615
Oh, my God.

1177
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,412
Okay. Okay, wait, wait, wait.

1178
00:43:02,496 --> 00:43:03,746
What's wrong, what's wrong?

1179
00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:07,292
It's just... I don't do
this on the first date.

1180
00:43:07,459 --> 00:43:09,502
Okay, um, I understand.

1181
00:43:09,670 --> 00:43:10,878
I'm a Christian, too.

1182
00:43:10,963 --> 00:43:12,505
I respect that, you know, and...

1183
00:43:15,509 --> 00:43:17,510
I had a really wonderful time.

1184
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:18,970
Me, too.

1185
00:43:20,639 --> 00:43:22,390
Well, thanks.

1186
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:28,730
There. I accomplished it.

1187
00:43:28,897 --> 00:43:29,897
Accomplished what?

1188
00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:32,150
My real short-term goal.

1189
00:43:32,234 --> 00:43:33,735
You dog.

1190
00:43:34,069 --> 00:43:35,111
So, listen.

1191
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:36,613
I've been thinking about this all night.

1192
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:37,905
I want you to meet my mother.

1193
00:43:37,990 --> 00:43:39,032
Really?

1194
00:43:39,283 --> 00:43:40,450
It would really mean a lot to me.

1195
00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:41,993
Well,

1196
00:43:43,412 --> 00:43:44,746
I'd like you to meet my son.

1197
00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:46,831
I would love that.

1198
00:43:46,915 --> 00:43:48,291
Just name the time and place...

1199
00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,335
Hi, I'm Duke.

1200
00:43:50,419 --> 00:43:51,794
Did you touch my momma?

1201
00:43:51,962 --> 00:43:53,004
Whoa, no.

1202
00:43:53,088 --> 00:43:55,131
It was PG, little homie, not even PG-13.

1203
00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:57,717
Sure. You like video games?

1204
00:43:57,885 --> 00:43:59,385
Have you ever played Street Racer Three?

1205
00:43:59,553 --> 00:44:00,595
No.

1206
00:44:00,679 --> 00:44:01,763
Then you haven't lived, my man!

1207
00:44:01,847 --> 00:44:02,847
(LAUGHS)

1208
00:44:04,808 --> 00:44:06,684
You have a good night, all right, Candace?

1209
00:44:06,852 --> 00:44:07,894
Good night. Thank you.

1210
00:44:08,020 --> 00:44:08,978
It's nice to meet you, Duke. Make sure...

1211
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,146
Nice to meet you, too.

1212
00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:14,233
I really had a nice time tonight.

1213
00:44:14,443 --> 00:44:16,152
I had a really good time, too.

1214
00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:24,577
Okay, okay, okay.

1215
00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:27,914
This is officially good night.

1216
00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:31,668
Okay, you know what? I
could use a nightcap.

1217
00:44:32,086 --> 00:44:33,920
A nightcap. Yeah.

1218
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:35,630
Yeah. Um...

1219
00:44:35,714 --> 00:44:37,632
There's this really nice
bar around the corner.

1220
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,925
You should have fun.

1221
00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,968
What... So it's like that?

1222
00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:42,679
You have no idea.

1223
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:45,264
So, how long are we talking
before I get invited up?

1224
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:47,850
Five dates.

1225
00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:50,478
For a nightcap.

1226
00:44:52,564 --> 00:44:53,773
Good night.

1227
00:44:56,860 --> 00:44:58,069
Wow.

1228
00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:00,196
This bitch is crazy.

1229
00:45:03,867 --> 00:45:06,703
♪ My sexy love

1230
00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:08,454
♪ So sexy ♪

1231
00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:16,462
(GROANING)

1232
00:45:20,592 --> 00:45:21,926
Morning, beautiful.

1233
00:45:22,886 --> 00:45:24,053
Hi.

1234
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:26,514
Thanks.

1235
00:45:26,598 --> 00:45:27,598
I, um...

1236
00:45:27,933 --> 00:45:29,058
I made you breakfast.

1237
00:45:29,309 --> 00:45:30,435
Seriously?

1238
00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:32,019
Yeah.

1239
00:45:32,646 --> 00:45:34,605
From my kitchen? Let me take that.

1240
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:37,984
It's a simple eggs Florentine,
but with a twist,

1241
00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:40,695
because I used the ingredients
from your Thai takeouts.

1242
00:45:40,863 --> 00:45:41,988
Simple? This looks amazing.

1243
00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:43,239
Well, let me know what you think.

1244
00:45:45,367 --> 00:45:46,617
Mmm.

1245
00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:48,369
This is so good.

1246
00:45:48,787 --> 00:45:50,496
Yeah? Well, I love a woman who can eat.

1247
00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:54,375
And I love a man who can cook.

1248
00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:56,711
Maybe you'll let me do it
again for you sometime.

1249
00:45:56,795 --> 00:45:58,171
(COUGHS)

1250
00:45:58,255 --> 00:45:59,714
Juice, please?

1251
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,550
A little spicy?

1252
00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:07,847
Thanks.

1253
00:46:10,225 --> 00:46:11,559
Who's that?

1254
00:46:12,186 --> 00:46:14,061
That's my best friend, Candace.

1255
00:46:14,229 --> 00:46:15,563
Okay. And my godson, Duke.

1256
00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:19,609
You know, you're not exactly
what I picture

1257
00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,819
when I hear the word "godmother."

1258
00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:24,197
Thank God for that.

1259
00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:35,249
You let yourself in again, huh?

1260
00:46:36,084 --> 00:46:37,460
I didn't expect you to be here.

1261
00:46:37,544 --> 00:46:39,086
I figured you'd be tiptoeing
around her place.

1262
00:46:39,254 --> 00:46:41,547
Well, first of all, I live here, not you,

1263
00:46:41,715 --> 00:46:43,925
and second, she has this five-date rule

1264
00:46:44,009 --> 00:46:45,176
before I get invited up.

1265
00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:46,344
Can you believe that?

1266
00:46:46,428 --> 00:46:48,471
I'm the Negro Gigolo, the original Nigolo.

1267
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:49,680
Five dates?

1268
00:46:49,765 --> 00:46:51,432
What, is she some type of Farrakhan
Muslim or something?

1269
00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:52,600
She's a diva.

1270
00:46:52,684 --> 00:46:53,851
She literally refuses to
walk through a door

1271
00:46:53,936 --> 00:46:54,977
unless I open it for her.

1272
00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,354
Gail used to do that.

1273
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:57,855
Gail used to get on my nerves with that.

1274
00:46:58,023 --> 00:47:00,858
"Get the door for me. How am I walk
in and you ain't open the door?"

1275
00:47:01,026 --> 00:47:03,778
"My hands hurt. You better
open that goddamn door!"

1276
00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:05,029
That's why I'm gonna end it right now.

1277
00:47:05,113 --> 00:47:06,155
Yeah, you need to.

1278
00:47:06,281 --> 00:47:07,281
'Cause you don't need her.

1279
00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:08,741
You got me, and what we got is special.

1280
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:10,660
Open her door. (SCOFFS)

1281
00:47:10,744 --> 00:47:13,538
It's 2012. Come around and open my door.

1282
00:47:13,705 --> 00:47:15,373
I don't know, Sonia, I just felt
like a different woman.

1283
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:18,417
I felt so in control and strong, and...

1284
00:47:18,585 --> 00:47:19,794
What about him?

1285
00:47:19,878 --> 00:47:20,920
Well, I think...

1286
00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:22,129
Oh.

1287
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:25,633
It's him.

1288
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:28,970
"Are you available for dinner
tomorrow night?"

1289
00:47:29,054 --> 00:47:30,096
Well, are you?

1290
00:47:30,180 --> 00:47:31,848
Well, I do believe that I am.

1291
00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:35,476
But I do not go out with guys
who ask me via text.

1292
00:47:37,396 --> 00:47:38,729
She trippin'.

1293
00:47:38,897 --> 00:47:40,815
You know, Gail always suggested
them egg whites,

1294
00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:42,275
she said they was better for you.

1295
00:47:42,442 --> 00:47:44,819
Hey, can you put a shirt on
while you cooking, man?

1296
00:47:45,487 --> 00:47:46,487
(WHOOPS)

1297
00:47:46,572 --> 00:47:47,738
Look at these hours.

1298
00:47:47,906 --> 00:47:49,866
What you come in here glowing
for like you're pregnant?

1299
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:51,242
My boys.

1300
00:47:52,035 --> 00:47:54,871
Hey, you got some. Oh! On the first date?

1301
00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:55,997
Homie scored.

1302
00:47:56,081 --> 00:47:57,707
DOMINIC: Yeah, I did.

1303
00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:00,084
And I'm totally screwed.

1304
00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,627
We never once talked about my job.

1305
00:48:01,795 --> 00:48:04,338
You really like him. I really do.

1306
00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:06,883
I don't even know how much he makes.

1307
00:48:07,384 --> 00:48:09,051
Whoa! And you know what? I don't care!

1308
00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:10,720
I believe in his dreams.

1309
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,847
She thinks I'm a chef on the rise.

1310
00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:14,056
With a cold-ass Benz.

1311
00:48:14,182 --> 00:48:15,850
And a sexy limo driver. I
looked good last night,

1312
00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:17,184
I had the hat cocked to the side.

1313
00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:20,104
Guys, she's going to run when
I tell her the truth.

1314
00:48:20,272 --> 00:48:22,106
Whatever you do, you don't
tell her the truth.

1315
00:48:22,232 --> 00:48:23,232
Thank you. You delay.

1316
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:25,192
Hell, I wouldn't tell her until
she was in her third trimester.

1317
00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,986
Yeah, I can't do that. ZEKE:
Dom, I know you, okay?

1318
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:28,529
And you're trying to grow
a conscience here.

1319
00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:29,864
Trust me on this one.

1320
00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:31,365
Honesty is overrated, man.

1321
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:33,409
Hey, that's in the Bible. Old Testament.

1322
00:48:34,202 --> 00:48:36,787
I just don't want a relationship
based on lies.

1323
00:48:36,955 --> 00:48:38,122
That's called marriage.

1324
00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,832
Dom, you don't fool me.

1325
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,459
I know what this is about.
This is about sex.

1326
00:48:41,543 --> 00:48:43,210
You didn't do what you were supposed
to do in the bedroom.

1327
00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:44,378
That's why you walk through here

1328
00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:45,713
with your shoulders all slouched

1329
00:48:45,797 --> 00:48:47,381
and your self-esteem all low.

1330
00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:49,133
It's true. When you don't smash right,

1331
00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,509
the insecurities come out on you.

1332
00:48:50,677 --> 00:48:52,386
You know what he did? He gave it a LD.

1333
00:48:52,471 --> 00:48:53,888
Lazy Doodle. That's exactly what he did.

1334
00:48:54,056 --> 00:48:56,307
Right. You gotta put it down
like the right enforcement.

1335
00:48:56,808 --> 00:48:59,185
I can't do this no more. I'm
done. I'm done with this.

1336
00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:01,354
Like, dude, put a shirt on. It's us!

1337
00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:03,439
There's no one else here, just us!

1338
00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:06,233
So, you're telling me she's got a son?

1339
00:49:06,401 --> 00:49:08,277
Yeah! Duke. He's six years old.

1340
00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:09,737
An amazing kid, full of energy.

1341
00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,948
That's an awful lot of
responsibility, baby.

1342
00:49:12,115 --> 00:49:14,116
Well, she's a really responsible
woman, Ma.

1343
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:16,285
I'm not talking about her,
I'm talking about you.

1344
00:49:17,537 --> 00:49:19,580
You really think you got what it takes

1345
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:21,123
to date a single mother?

1346
00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:23,417
Well, I was raised by a single
mother, wasn't I?

1347
00:49:23,502 --> 00:49:24,502
(CHUCKLES)

1348
00:49:25,045 --> 00:49:26,796
Oh, but I'm one of a kind, baby.

1349
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:30,549
Trust me, Ma. You are going to love her.

1350
00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:32,802
(MUSIC PLAYING) (PEOPLE
TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

1351
00:49:32,886 --> 00:49:34,345
Thank God!

1352
00:49:35,555 --> 00:49:36,931
Somewhere familiar.

1353
00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:38,265
Some place that hasn't changed,

1354
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:39,433
that still looks the same.

1355
00:49:39,601 --> 00:49:41,310
Yo, J, what's wrong with you?

1356
00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:43,437
My Fortress of Solitude has morphed

1357
00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:45,064
into a damn Bed, Bath and Beyond.

1358
00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:46,232
What does that mean?

1359
00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:47,441
I'm telling you, he talks in code.

1360
00:49:47,609 --> 00:49:49,402
Listen, Kristen, she redecorated.

1361
00:49:49,569 --> 00:49:51,362
CEDRIC: Redecorated? Why
didn't you say that?

1362
00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:53,072
No, no, no, she didn't redecorate.

1363
00:49:53,156 --> 00:49:54,407
She obliterated.

1364
00:49:54,574 --> 00:49:57,368
Every trace of my identity,
gone! My anime posters,

1365
00:49:57,452 --> 00:49:59,412
Battlestar Galactica shot glasses
that you used to like,

1366
00:49:59,496 --> 00:50:00,705
it's all gone.

1367
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:01,914
May I?

1368
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:03,165
Wait a minute. She ain't even ask you?

1369
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:04,458
She just threw your stuff out?

1370
00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:06,711
That's some takeover shit right
there. That's crazy.

1371
00:50:06,878 --> 00:50:09,046
I was starting to feel like someone else.

1372
00:50:09,214 --> 00:50:12,550
Someone warm and modern with
a smattering of vintage.

1373
00:50:12,718 --> 00:50:14,969
That's probably your lips
tingling. It's a STD.

1374
00:50:15,053 --> 00:50:16,762
You just put your mouth on Zeke's drink.

1375
00:50:16,930 --> 00:50:18,723
Oh! And she threw away
my couch! Thank God!

1376
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:20,391
(ALL CHEER)

1377
00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:21,976
Hail Kristen!

1378
00:50:22,060 --> 00:50:23,310
That couch has a lot of memories, guys.

1379
00:50:23,395 --> 00:50:24,395
CEDRIC: Is that what that smell was?

1380
00:50:24,604 --> 00:50:25,980
Yeah, all of us got laid on that couch.

1381
00:50:26,064 --> 00:50:27,106
Twice.

1382
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,691
You've had that couch since
college, right? Yes!

1383
00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:29,900
That's some white boy shit.

1384
00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:31,277
No, that's some Jeremy shit.

1385
00:50:31,361 --> 00:50:32,403
ZEKE: No, that's some white boy shit.

1386
00:50:32,571 --> 00:50:34,613
I graduated college, I
got rid of my couch.

1387
00:50:34,781 --> 00:50:35,948
What college did you go to?

1388
00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:38,784
DeVry, Class of February. Valedictorian.

1389
00:50:38,952 --> 00:50:39,994
Whose side are you on?

1390
00:50:40,162 --> 00:50:42,163
Ain't no brother on the planet
gonna let no fine-ass sista

1391
00:50:42,247 --> 00:50:43,914
sit on no stinky-ass couch from college.

1392
00:50:44,082 --> 00:50:45,958
Preach, boy! It don't matter what happen,

1393
00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:47,376
you go and you find a way
to get that furniture,

1394
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:48,627
figure how to pay for it later.

1395
00:50:48,712 --> 00:50:51,422
Yeah, don't do that, though. That's called
negro shit. Don't ever do that.

1396
00:50:51,548 --> 00:50:52,673
BENNETT: That is negro shit!

1397
00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:53,799
You guys do that a lot.

1398
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:54,967
You pay for something you can't afford.

1399
00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,470
Ced, you couldn't even
afford your wedding!

1400
00:50:57,637 --> 00:50:59,180
I'm making my payments.

1401
00:50:59,347 --> 00:51:00,431
Listen, Kristen is a great girl.

1402
00:51:00,515 --> 00:51:03,100
Don't mess up something good over
a damn couch, all right?

1403
00:51:03,351 --> 00:51:04,685
Something's up.

1404
00:51:05,645 --> 00:51:06,771
CEDRIC: The game was on,

1405
00:51:06,938 --> 00:51:08,397
but not the one we were watching.

1406
00:51:08,940 --> 00:51:10,399
While we were sitting there on our asses

1407
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:11,609
watching the game,

1408
00:51:11,693 --> 00:51:13,235
our team was getting destroyed.

1409
00:51:13,695 --> 00:51:15,571
The other team was drawing up plays,

1410
00:51:15,655 --> 00:51:17,031
planning their strategies,

1411
00:51:17,199 --> 00:51:19,325
and plotting their next moves.

1412
00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,786
Hey, you.

1413
00:51:21,953 --> 00:51:23,329
JEREMY: You still up?

1414
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:24,872
I thought you were sleeping.

1415
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:28,084
I couldn't put this down.

1416
00:51:28,168 --> 00:51:29,293
Mmm. Yeah.

1417
00:51:29,461 --> 00:51:31,879
CEDRIC: Jeremy didn't even
know he was under attack.

1418
00:51:31,963 --> 00:51:34,715
Hey, uh... God, it was such a trip.

1419
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,259
I ran into Sarah's little brother. Oh.

1420
00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:39,845
And he told me he got a job at Neversoft.

1421
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:42,306
Cool.

1422
00:51:42,390 --> 00:51:43,474
Yeah.

1423
00:51:43,558 --> 00:51:46,602
Weren't you offered an
internship there once?

1424
00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:49,480
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Turned it
down for a real job.

1425
00:51:49,981 --> 00:51:52,983
Right, yeah, that junior level
one that you're still in.

1426
00:51:53,485 --> 00:51:54,485
What?

1427
00:51:56,780 --> 00:51:57,780
(SIGHS)

1428
00:52:00,325 --> 00:52:01,867
CEDRIC: My brothers didn't even
know they were at war.

1429
00:52:01,952 --> 00:52:04,954
They were lost in the honeymoon phase.

1430
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:06,705
They were too busy enjoying the ride.

1431
00:52:06,873 --> 00:52:08,958
All right, who's hungry?

1432
00:52:09,376 --> 00:52:11,293
I'm hungry, but, babe, babe!

1433
00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,920
Damn! Look at that ass!

1434
00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,296
ZEKE: That's nice. She's hot.

1435
00:52:14,464 --> 00:52:15,589
Guys, come on, that's somebody's daughter.

1436
00:52:15,757 --> 00:52:17,091
Wait, that's the baby mama?

1437
00:52:17,175 --> 00:52:18,425
Mmm-hmm. That's Candace?

1438
00:52:18,593 --> 00:52:19,718
That is Candace.

1439
00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:21,220
I know the baby mama.

1440
00:52:22,764 --> 00:52:25,307
No, she's Lauren's best friend.

1441
00:52:25,475 --> 00:52:28,269
LAUREN: So, apparently they play basketball
three times a week at the Y,

1442
00:52:28,436 --> 00:52:31,689
and Dominic says that Michael is the
most successful guy he knows.

1443
00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:33,649
Really? (LAUGHS) You scored!

1444
00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:35,776
I did well? You know what,

1445
00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,404
Michael said Dominic is
a really amazing chef.

1446
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:41,115
I know, I know! I love food.

1447
00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:42,825
Oh, no, bitch. What?

1448
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,618
We can double date.

1449
00:52:44,703 --> 00:52:46,078
(BOTH SCREAM)

1450
00:52:47,539 --> 00:52:48,664
Oh, that's not good.

1451
00:52:48,748 --> 00:52:49,957
That's not good at all.

1452
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,375
Let's go play basketball, guys.

1453
00:52:51,459 --> 00:52:52,501
Yeah, let's do that.

1454
00:52:52,669 --> 00:52:54,086
ZEKE: Whatever you do, don't double date.

1455
00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:56,422
That's right. Damn, Ced.

1456
00:52:57,215 --> 00:52:58,382
Really?

1457
00:52:58,717 --> 00:53:00,176
I was in the middle of getting dressed.

1458
00:53:00,635 --> 00:53:02,219
J, you're losing the game for us!

1459
00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,722
Me? Yo, you are killing us right now.

1460
00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:06,182
I'm setting screens, you gotta
be using the screens.

1461
00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:07,433
You shot one for 27.

1462
00:53:07,517 --> 00:53:09,143
The shot I made was a game changer, J.

1463
00:53:09,311 --> 00:53:10,644
That's it, I'm done. New teams next week.

1464
00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:12,188
I'm not being on his team anymore.

1465
00:53:12,355 --> 00:53:13,814
I'm not the one that's not
coming off the picks!

1466
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:15,399
Excuse me, y'all done here?

1467
00:53:15,483 --> 00:53:16,817
We want to play some full court.

1468
00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:17,943
Oh, yeah. Y'all take it.

1469
00:53:18,153 --> 00:53:19,737
No, no, no, we're not.

1470
00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:21,780
Got a lot more basketball to
play over here, fellas,

1471
00:53:21,948 --> 00:53:24,074
so looks like you picked the wrong
court to try and come and take.

1472
00:53:24,242 --> 00:53:25,534
We just ran three games! Uh-uh!

1473
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:27,536
MICHAEL: Yeah, Ced, we're
good. No, we're not.

1474
00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:29,830
We are not good. Sorry.

1475
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,957
Yo, so y'all stepping off or what?

1476
00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,375
Yeah, we were stepping.
I was stepping on...

1477
00:53:33,543 --> 00:53:35,502
Stepping off? Who are you, Shaft?

1478
00:53:35,670 --> 00:53:37,046
How about you get some language
from this year?

1479
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,965
So why don't you, and the stronger
version of Prince,

1480
00:53:40,133 --> 00:53:41,175
go back down to that side of the court

1481
00:53:41,259 --> 00:53:42,384
and do what y'all was doing?

1482
00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:43,719
'Cause if y'all want the court,

1483
00:53:43,803 --> 00:53:45,179
you'll play us for the
court like real men.

1484
00:53:45,263 --> 00:53:46,430
So y'all want to play for it.

1485
00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:47,806
You heard what I said.

1486
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,309
Am I stuttering, huh? Suckas.

1487
00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:52,478
They're not gonna punk us. We men! Ced.

1488
00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,521
People come in here, think they got us.

1489
00:53:54,606 --> 00:53:55,856
ZEKE: You are not serious.

1490
00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:58,150
I am serious. It is what it is.

1491
00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:00,069
Oh, shit.

1492
00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:01,862
(CLEARS THROAT)

1493
00:54:03,156 --> 00:54:04,531
I thought it was just two of them.

1494
00:54:04,616 --> 00:54:06,408
I did not see the rest.

1495
00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:08,577
Turn around and say you're sorry.

1496
00:54:08,745 --> 00:54:10,246
It's too late. We're in it. Apologize.

1497
00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:11,747
No, I'm not apologizing for shit.

1498
00:54:11,831 --> 00:54:13,207
Michael, this is when you be a man!

1499
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,584
All right, guys. If a game
is what you want,

1500
00:54:15,669 --> 00:54:17,211
a game is what you gonna get.

1501
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:18,420
You wanna play?

1502
00:54:18,588 --> 00:54:19,630
JEREMY: Ced, let him go!

1503
00:54:19,714 --> 00:54:21,090
ZEKE: Cedric! What are you doing?

1504
00:54:22,717 --> 00:54:24,134
JEREMY: You okay? ZEKE: Get up, get up.

1505
00:54:24,302 --> 00:54:25,844
JEREMY: So embarrassing.

1506
00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:28,597
I really tried to take it. It was obvious.

1507
00:54:28,807 --> 00:54:31,558
I really did. I swear to God,
I gave it everything I had.

1508
00:54:31,726 --> 00:54:33,227
I sprained my esophagus in the last game,

1509
00:54:33,311 --> 00:54:34,520
so I'm gonna sit this one out.

1510
00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:35,646
Your esophagus is in your throat.

1511
00:54:35,730 --> 00:54:37,439
Shut up, Bennett. Zeke, we need six.

1512
00:54:37,941 --> 00:54:40,067
Zeke! Forget Zeke, we'll just
have to play with five.

1513
00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,235
Listen, we are men.

1514
00:54:41,319 --> 00:54:42,695
We tie our shoes up the same way they do.

1515
00:54:42,821 --> 00:54:43,821
Yeah, their shoes are bigger.

1516
00:54:43,989 --> 00:54:45,406
It don't matter. Be a man!

1517
00:54:45,490 --> 00:54:46,448
When I come out this,

1518
00:54:46,533 --> 00:54:47,950
you better say who you got
and you better mean it.

1519
00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,411
Let's go. D up.

1520
00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:54,373
I got her. Let's go. Get
yours. I got mine.

1521
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:57,376
MAN: We welcome you all to the
JW Marriott Los Angeles.

1522
00:54:57,544 --> 00:54:58,877
CEDRIC: But then, the bubble burst.

1523
00:54:59,045 --> 00:55:02,047
For Dominic, the tables turned
on Tuesday afternoon.

1524
00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:04,216
MAN: ...the best year in
your company's history.

1525
00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:07,678
She is not just the youngest
COO you've ever had,

1526
00:55:07,762 --> 00:55:09,221
but the very best.

1527
00:55:09,931 --> 00:55:11,724
Ladies and gentlemen, Lauren Harris.

1528
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:13,309
(ALL APPLAUDING)

1529
00:55:13,810 --> 00:55:14,977
Thank you.

1530
00:55:16,354 --> 00:55:17,479
(DISHES CRASHING)

1531
00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:21,442
Aw, shit.

1532
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,903
Mom? There you go. LORETTA: Hey!

1533
00:55:25,071 --> 00:55:27,239
Mom, I would like you to meet Candace.

1534
00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:28,365
BOTH: Hi!

1535
00:55:28,575 --> 00:55:30,659
CEDRIC: For Michael, the bomb
dropped on Wednesday.

1536
00:55:30,827 --> 00:55:32,286
I've heard so much about you.

1537
00:55:32,704 --> 00:55:34,830
Well, I've heard nothing about you!

1538
00:55:35,415 --> 00:55:37,416
We just talked about her last night
at dinner. What are you...

1539
00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,251
Well, I don't remember.

1540
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,419
Mom, why are you...

1541
00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:41,795
I don't remember.

1542
00:55:45,342 --> 00:55:48,635
It's beautiful, your home.
Just gorgeous. It's great.

1543
00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:53,265
Hmm.

1544
00:55:53,892 --> 00:55:56,185
Oh, wow, look! Look at this,

1545
00:55:56,269 --> 00:55:59,229
I have this exact same frame for my son!

1546
00:55:59,314 --> 00:56:02,524
Oh, that's right, you're
the one with the child.

1547
00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:06,153
Now let me ask you, sweetie,

1548
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:11,450
what does your baby's daddy think
about you dating my Michael?

1549
00:56:12,243 --> 00:56:13,410
Oh.

1550
00:56:13,495 --> 00:56:15,037
Or is he incarcerated?

1551
00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:18,290
You know, how you people run
around, I don't know.

1552
00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:20,501
Incarcerated? No, why would you...

1553
00:56:20,668 --> 00:56:22,002
Candace, would you like
a tour of the house?

1554
00:56:22,170 --> 00:56:24,671
Yeah, why don't we give Tandace
a tour of the house?

1555
00:56:24,839 --> 00:56:26,507
Candace. It is Candace.

1556
00:56:26,674 --> 00:56:27,800
Tan... Tandace?

1557
00:56:28,134 --> 00:56:31,178
It's... Candace, with a...

1558
00:56:32,013 --> 00:56:34,098
I can tell she really likes you.

1559
00:56:34,265 --> 00:56:36,266
Come on, let's take a tour. Now
come on, let's take a look.

1560
00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:37,351
Just come on.

1561
00:56:37,435 --> 00:56:38,852
LORETTA: Doesn't it tell a story?

1562
00:56:39,062 --> 00:56:41,605
I've tried to capture all
the special moments

1563
00:56:41,689 --> 00:56:43,148
with me and my baby boy.

1564
00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:45,150
I bet you don't remember when I
got you that bracelet, though.

1565
00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:47,111
Outside of Paris,

1566
00:56:47,195 --> 00:56:49,863
this little shop with the
cute little jewelry...

1567
00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:52,074
Remember that look on your face
when you opened up that box?

1568
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:53,325
Yeah, I know, I know.

1569
00:56:53,410 --> 00:56:54,993
I thought we were in Milan.

1570
00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:56,370
No, we'd come from that restaurant...

1571
00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:58,247
Oh, baby, you're in my room.

1572
00:56:58,331 --> 00:57:00,249
It's where all the magic happens, girl.

1573
00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:01,708
CANDACE: Wow. MICHAEL: What do you think?

1574
00:57:01,876 --> 00:57:03,460
It's like a time capsule.

1575
00:57:03,628 --> 00:57:06,046
Oh, I keep everything the same for him,

1576
00:57:06,131 --> 00:57:07,423
for when he sleeps over.

1577
00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:08,841
You sleep over?

1578
00:57:09,008 --> 00:57:10,384
Just on Sunday nights, baby. It's nothing.

1579
00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:15,013
And Sunday nights have always
been reserved for his mother.

1580
00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:17,683
And they always will be.

1581
00:57:17,851 --> 00:57:21,061
I make his favorite food,
and then we play rummy.

1582
00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:24,398
Mom is the best rummy player right here.

1583
00:57:25,525 --> 00:57:27,526
♪ A chiky-chiky rummy-rummy ♪

1584
00:57:28,403 --> 00:57:29,445
Come on.

1585
00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:31,363
I'm not gonna do it, not
in front of Candace.

1586
00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:33,157
Well, let me get your laundry.

1587
00:57:33,324 --> 00:57:34,450
Laundry?

1588
00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:35,784
Let me help you with that, Mom.

1589
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:37,369
I need some more socks, Mom.

1590
00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:39,413
LORETTA: They stink! (LAUGHS)

1591
00:57:39,497 --> 00:57:41,206
But you know, I don't mind the stinking.

1592
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:42,916
I just gotta scrub them a little more.

1593
00:57:43,084 --> 00:57:47,087
Scrubba-dub-dub. Baby Michael in the tub!

1594
00:57:47,338 --> 00:57:48,338
(LORETTA LAUGHING)

1595
00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:56,555
(SIGHS)

1596
00:57:57,307 --> 00:57:58,348
Shit.

1597
00:57:59,058 --> 00:58:01,059
CEDRIC: For Zeke, the cookie
crumbled on Thursday.

1598
00:58:01,227 --> 00:58:04,062
So, the night is young.
What do you wanna do?

1599
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,358
Well, it is our fifth date, right?

1600
00:58:09,944 --> 00:58:12,571
It is? I don't know, I lost count.

1601
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,740
Did you really?

1602
00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:15,908
(CHUCKLES)

1603
00:58:17,035 --> 00:58:20,245
So, nightcap?

1604
00:58:21,956 --> 00:58:23,081
Okay.

1605
00:58:24,792 --> 00:58:26,043
Yeah.

1606
00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:28,337
So it's kind of small,

1607
00:58:28,421 --> 00:58:31,173
but I really got it for the French windows

1608
00:58:32,675 --> 00:58:34,551
and 'cause it's close to work.

1609
00:58:35,386 --> 00:58:36,386
So...

1610
00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:37,804
Stunning.

1611
00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:40,015
Um...

1612
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:44,102
Yeah, maybe we should
get more comfortable.

1613
00:58:44,437 --> 00:58:45,479
Yeah.

1614
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:46,813
Yeah. Yeah.

1615
00:58:46,898 --> 00:58:47,898
Um...

1616
00:58:48,733 --> 00:58:50,776
I'm gonna put on some music.

1617
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:52,861
Or you know what?

1618
00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:55,948
Better yet, maybe you should
go ahead and choose.

1619
00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:57,574
Cool.

1620
00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:00,118
That vinyl?

1621
00:59:00,286 --> 00:59:02,788
Yeah, I'm a bit of a purist.

1622
00:59:03,998 --> 00:59:05,958
I'll be right back. Okay.

1623
00:59:06,125 --> 00:59:07,626
Don't leave. I mean...

1624
00:59:09,003 --> 00:59:10,462
Don't leave.

1625
00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:12,673
I won't leave. Okay. All right.

1626
00:59:17,512 --> 00:59:20,138
Wow. You really are a purist.

1627
00:59:21,349 --> 00:59:23,517
How the hell did you get this on vinyl?

1628
00:59:23,851 --> 00:59:24,893
No.

1629
00:59:29,148 --> 00:59:30,816
(SLOW DOWN PLAYING)

1630
00:59:33,361 --> 00:59:37,489
♪ Can we

1631
00:59:37,574 --> 00:59:39,700
♪ Slow down

1632
00:59:39,784 --> 00:59:42,536
♪ I wanna take my time and enjoy you

1633
00:59:42,620 --> 00:59:44,288
♪ Enjoy you

1634
00:59:44,372 --> 00:59:49,209
♪ Everything else can wait
I want it right, right now

1635
00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:51,878
So, um, how do you take your coffee?

1636
00:59:52,171 --> 00:59:53,880
CEDRIC: See, Zeke found out the hard way

1637
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,966
that sometimes, a nightcap
means just that,

1638
00:59:56,134 --> 00:59:57,217
a nightcap.

1639
00:59:57,302 --> 00:59:58,635
Three shots of Jack.

1640
00:59:59,429 --> 01:00:00,929
You're so silly.

1641
01:00:03,808 --> 01:00:05,267
(DOOR OPENS)

1642
01:00:08,646 --> 01:00:09,688
Yo!

1643
01:00:09,856 --> 01:00:11,440
Oh, Ced, what you run outta this time?

1644
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:12,691
I ain't had no milk.

1645
01:00:12,942 --> 01:00:15,444
Hey, let me ask you a serious question.

1646
01:00:15,528 --> 01:00:17,112
You think I look like Idris Elba?

1647
01:00:17,238 --> 01:00:19,906
'Cause the stripper down at the new club
Sweaty Crack told me that last night,

1648
01:00:19,991 --> 01:00:21,325
but I had a lot of ones in my hand,

1649
01:00:21,409 --> 01:00:22,743
so I don't know if she was
trying to play me or not.

1650
01:00:22,910 --> 01:00:24,411
Don't even answer. Don't worry about it.

1651
01:00:24,579 --> 01:00:26,204
'Cause it made me feel
good when she said it.

1652
01:00:26,372 --> 01:00:28,123
All right, looks like somebody
got invited in.

1653
01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:29,374
How'd it go?

1654
01:00:29,500 --> 01:00:30,500
We had coffee.

1655
01:00:30,668 --> 01:00:32,544
And? Mint Milano Cookies.

1656
01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:33,795
And?

1657
01:00:33,963 --> 01:00:35,631
And we talked and we talked

1658
01:00:35,715 --> 01:00:38,008
about our childhoods and art and music,

1659
01:00:38,092 --> 01:00:39,926
and Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

1660
01:00:40,011 --> 01:00:41,386
What is Plato's Allegory of the Cave?

1661
01:00:41,554 --> 01:00:42,721
It's actually very profound.

1662
01:00:42,889 --> 01:00:44,765
On par with Bishop Don Magic Juan book

1663
01:00:44,849 --> 01:00:46,183
of pimp knowledge and street wisdom,

1664
01:00:46,351 --> 01:00:47,517
which is a very good read.

1665
01:00:47,685 --> 01:00:49,144
Five dates and all I get
is a cup of coffee.

1666
01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:50,354
What is wrong with her?

1667
01:00:50,521 --> 01:00:52,064
Ain't nothing wrong with her.
What's wrong with you?

1668
01:00:52,231 --> 01:00:55,192
Looks like the old Negro Gigolo
is losing his flow.

1669
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,194
I'm in a relationship without sex,

1670
01:00:57,362 --> 01:00:59,696
when all I'm really trying to get
is sex without a relationship.

1671
01:00:59,864 --> 01:01:01,031
So, when you gonna see her again?

1672
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:02,908
Saturday night, nigga. Mind your business.

1673
01:01:03,951 --> 01:01:05,243
Nice job.

1674
01:01:05,411 --> 01:01:07,621
Hey, Zeke, when you go upstairs,

1675
01:01:07,705 --> 01:01:08,789
you gonna look in the toilet,

1676
01:01:08,956 --> 01:01:10,415
it's gonna appear to be stopped up,

1677
01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:11,541
I don't know for sure.

1678
01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:13,126
I just didn't know where the plunger was,

1679
01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:15,170
so don't be caught off
guard when you see it.

1680
01:01:15,254 --> 01:01:16,296
There's a lot.

1681
01:01:16,798 --> 01:01:18,590
So we stayed up all night... SONIA: Okay.

1682
01:01:18,758 --> 01:01:20,717
...and we talked about everything.

1683
01:01:20,885 --> 01:01:22,177
Did you keep the cookie in the cookie jar?

1684
01:01:22,261 --> 01:01:23,553
(CHUCKLES)

1685
01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:25,472
But of course. Nice.

1686
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,265
I'm not gonna lie, though,
and say that it was easy.

1687
01:01:27,642 --> 01:01:29,267
I don't know, when he kissed me,

1688
01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,435
it was like sex.

1689
01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:34,189
So, yeah, thank you for your
advice on the undies.

1690
01:01:34,273 --> 01:01:35,357
Which ones did you wear?

1691
01:01:35,566 --> 01:01:37,943
The granny ones. The grandma drawers?

1692
01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:39,986
I told you the ugly panty
trick would work.

1693
01:01:40,071 --> 01:01:41,738
You wasn't trying to listen
now. And it worked.

1694
01:01:41,906 --> 01:01:43,824
Now that it's not just a theory,

1695
01:01:43,908 --> 01:01:46,243
do you really think you can last 90 days?

1696
01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:47,619
Monique!

1697
01:01:47,912 --> 01:01:49,037
It's Mya!

1698
01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:50,288
Call me!

1699
01:01:50,832 --> 01:01:52,958
It's Mya, asshole!

1700
01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:57,170
Yeah.

1701
01:01:57,255 --> 01:02:00,674
Yeah, I think I can definitely
do 74 more days.

1702
01:02:01,092 --> 01:02:02,342
Okay, Monique.

1703
01:02:03,511 --> 01:02:05,512
LAUREN: I'm canceling the date. Why?

1704
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,472
He's a part-time waiter.

1705
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,349
May I remind you, Miss Thing,

1706
01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:11,184
that we were both waitresses

1707
01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:13,687
for two years at Olive Garden?

1708
01:02:13,771 --> 01:02:15,647
Candace, we were in college.

1709
01:02:15,815 --> 01:02:17,941
I'm talking about a grown-ass man,

1710
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:21,695
who admitted that he was valet-parking
the Benz he chased me down in.

1711
01:02:22,155 --> 01:02:23,280
It's kind of romantic.

1712
01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:25,031
It's kind of pathetic.

1713
01:02:25,199 --> 01:02:26,616
I thought you didn't care
about how much he made.

1714
01:02:26,784 --> 01:02:28,201
I thought you believed in his dreams.

1715
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:29,578
But not his pipe dreams. Come on!

1716
01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:30,829
Okay, fine.

1717
01:02:30,997 --> 01:02:33,415
Dump the first guy who puts
you before anything else

1718
01:02:33,499 --> 01:02:34,624
because he doesn't make six figures.

1719
01:02:34,959 --> 01:02:37,294
Please, he doesn't even make four.

1720
01:02:37,462 --> 01:02:39,546
And I can't invest that kind
of time in something

1721
01:02:39,630 --> 01:02:41,840
that I know won't yield
tangible dividends.

1722
01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,216
Would you listen to yourself?

1723
01:02:43,301 --> 01:02:46,553
Dominic is a person, Lauren,
not a stock portfolio.

1724
01:02:46,721 --> 01:02:48,305
Like Steve Harvey says,

1725
01:02:48,389 --> 01:02:50,348
there's no such thing as the perfect man.

1726
01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:52,058
You have to compromise on something.

1727
01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:53,351
What do you have to lose?

1728
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:55,187
My youth.

1729
01:02:55,354 --> 01:02:56,646
So, wait. She just canceled on you?

1730
01:02:56,814 --> 01:02:58,982
She was about to. Then she got
interrupted by her boss.

1731
01:02:59,150 --> 01:03:00,984
It's messed up. You know what?

1732
01:03:01,736 --> 01:03:03,737
Who needs her whole fancy presentation

1733
01:03:03,821 --> 01:03:05,322
and her board of directors?

1734
01:03:05,490 --> 01:03:07,699
I make an honest living
and I pay my taxes.

1735
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:08,909
Most of the time.

1736
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:10,535
Let me tell you something,
Dom. I agree with you.

1737
01:03:10,703 --> 01:03:12,704
I'm an American, too and I agree
with your plight, brother.

1738
01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:13,830
ZEKE: I second that.

1739
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:15,248
JEREMY: Yeah, we got your back.

1740
01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:17,042
ZEKE: What's good with you, Mike? What up?

1741
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:18,877
So, how did it go between
Candace and your mom?

1742
01:03:18,961 --> 01:03:20,170
It was...

1743
01:03:20,254 --> 01:03:21,546
CANDACE: I'm slowing things
down with Michael.

1744
01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,589
LAUREN: Why?

1745
01:03:22,673 --> 01:03:24,508
He already has a woman in his life.

1746
01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:26,426
Oh, that son of a bitch. Who is it?

1747
01:03:26,594 --> 01:03:27,677
His mama.

1748
01:03:27,762 --> 01:03:28,887
What? Ew.

1749
01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:30,180
Ew.

1750
01:03:32,016 --> 01:03:33,892
My mom thinks she's nice.

1751
01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:35,143
Yeah, right.

1752
01:03:35,228 --> 01:03:37,354
No woman has ever been good
enough for your mom.

1753
01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:40,398
You think the first one she gonna
root for is the baby mama?

1754
01:03:40,566 --> 01:03:42,359
Good luck with that. CANDACE:
Listen to this.

1755
01:03:42,527 --> 01:03:44,236
"Could we reschedule beach day?

1756
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,113
"I promised to take my mom
to choir practice."

1757
01:03:47,281 --> 01:03:48,657
I can't do that to myself again,

1758
01:03:48,741 --> 01:03:50,075
and I won't do that to Duke.

1759
01:03:50,243 --> 01:03:52,452
We both deserve a man who's all in.

1760
01:03:52,620 --> 01:03:54,079
Well, then set your standards.

1761
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:55,372
Oh, my God, I can't believe

1762
01:03:55,456 --> 01:03:57,249
I'm quoting anything from
that silly little book.

1763
01:03:57,416 --> 01:03:58,542
You tell Michael

1764
01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:00,752
that you don't want to come in
between him and his mother

1765
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,129
and that if he wants to
continue dating you,

1766
01:04:03,297 --> 01:04:05,382
then you must be a priority in his life.

1767
01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:07,884
She's had him his whole life.
I can't compete with that.

1768
01:04:08,052 --> 01:04:10,220
Well, then dump the first man
you've met in three years

1769
01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:13,390
that genuinely cares about you and Duke.

1770
01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:15,976
Oh! Wait a minute, there's no such
thing as a perfect man, right?

1771
01:04:16,143 --> 01:04:17,435
What do you have to lose?

1772
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,437
Isn't that what you've been
preaching to me all night?

1773
01:04:19,730 --> 01:04:20,856
Oh! Okay.

1774
01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:23,066
I will if you will.

1775
01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:25,235
CEDRIC: It was the darkest hour.

1776
01:04:25,736 --> 01:04:28,154
The guys were under a full-scale attack.

1777
01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:30,657
But everything changed on D-Day.

1778
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:32,868
♪ That booty, that booty

1779
01:04:32,952 --> 01:04:34,786
♪ Baby, baby, shake it

1780
01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:37,330
♪ That booty, that booty, that booty

1781
01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:40,834
♪ That booty, that booty, that booty ♪

1782
01:04:40,918 --> 01:04:44,921
Okay, tell me something. How does it
feel to officially be a free man?

1783
01:04:45,089 --> 01:04:46,882
Great. Okay, listen,

1784
01:04:46,966 --> 01:04:48,383
I can do whatever I want... Okay.

1785
01:04:48,593 --> 01:04:51,344
...whenever I want, with
whoever I want. Okay.

1786
01:04:51,512 --> 01:04:52,762
I'm free from all the "tie-ranny"...

1787
01:04:52,930 --> 01:04:54,472
It's "tyranny". Will you shut up, Bennett?

1788
01:04:54,599 --> 01:04:55,557
Let him finish what he's saying!

1789
01:04:55,641 --> 01:04:56,975
I just want you to have proper grammar.

1790
01:04:57,059 --> 01:04:59,436
All right! I'm free from all
the tyranny and oppression.

1791
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,188
And nagging from all women
for good. You hear me?

1792
01:05:02,356 --> 01:05:05,108
Matter of fact, only woman
I want to talk to tonight

1793
01:05:05,276 --> 01:05:06,985
is dancing butt-naked down
at the Ass Factory.

1794
01:05:07,069 --> 01:05:08,028
What happened to the Sweaty Crack?

1795
01:05:08,112 --> 01:05:10,322
They got shut down. Health-code violations.
JEREMY: Heard about that.

1796
01:05:10,406 --> 01:05:11,406
(LAUGHING)

1797
01:05:11,490 --> 01:05:13,783
But here's the thing, I like
the Ass Factory better,

1798
01:05:13,951 --> 01:05:15,076
'cause the girls down there are nasty.

1799
01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:16,202
But they're my kind of nasty.

1800
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:17,329
Ced! Ced.

1801
01:05:17,496 --> 01:05:19,956
Don't judge me! I'm going
through a divorce, homie.

1802
01:05:20,124 --> 01:05:22,042
(CELL PHONE BEEPS) Hey, yo, Lauren
confirmed our date tomorrow.

1803
01:05:22,209 --> 01:05:23,501
I thought you and that Lauren was done.

1804
01:05:23,669 --> 01:05:25,045
Why you all in the man's business?

1805
01:05:25,212 --> 01:05:26,630
I thought my man said he
was done with Lauren.

1806
01:05:26,797 --> 01:05:28,131
You are whipped!

1807
01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:30,216
He's worse than Mike. Chill with
that "worse than Mike."

1808
01:05:30,384 --> 01:05:31,551
You wanna hear a good story? No.

1809
01:05:31,636 --> 01:05:33,678
Ced, tell them about the night
you saved it with Gail.

1810
01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:35,472
I'll take this goddamn bottle
and knock your face off,

1811
01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:36,640
you bring Gail up again.

1812
01:05:36,807 --> 01:05:38,391
I don't wanna talk about Gail!

1813
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:40,060
All I want to talk about
is titties and ass!

1814
01:05:40,144 --> 01:05:41,102
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1815
01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:43,438
Yo, it's Candace. Should I take it?

1816
01:05:43,689 --> 01:05:46,149
No, man! Here, give me the
phone. Bros before hos.

1817
01:05:46,317 --> 01:05:47,859
Hello. Candace. Oh.

1818
01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:50,028
Hey, what's up, girl? Michael.

1819
01:05:50,112 --> 01:05:51,279
I was just thinking 'bout you.

1820
01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:53,490
No, hi, I thought I'd get your voicemail.

1821
01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:55,075
No, you got me, baby.

1822
01:05:55,242 --> 01:05:56,493
Listen, Michael.

1823
01:05:57,370 --> 01:05:58,662
We need to talk.

1824
01:05:58,829 --> 01:06:00,956
Ladies, few words are more menacing

1825
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,708
than the dreaded four, "We need to talk".

1826
01:06:04,001 --> 01:06:05,877
Now, that means one of two things,

1827
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:07,837
that we did something wrong

1828
01:06:08,005 --> 01:06:12,217
or, you, literally, want to talk.

1829
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:15,095
She wants to talk. BENNETT:
That's a new one.

1830
01:06:15,179 --> 01:06:16,179
That's bad, dude.

1831
01:06:16,263 --> 01:06:18,306
Good! I hope she talk your damn head off.

1832
01:06:18,432 --> 01:06:20,266
Is it ever a good sign when
a woman wants to talk?

1833
01:06:20,434 --> 01:06:22,435
No. Not in my house anymore.

1834
01:06:22,603 --> 01:06:24,604
Kris used to be fun and chill,

1835
01:06:24,689 --> 01:06:26,523
and now she's just in
my face all the time,

1836
01:06:26,691 --> 01:06:29,526
nagging, harping, like, "What
are your short-term goals?

1837
01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:31,069
"What are your long-term goals?

1838
01:06:31,153 --> 01:06:33,029
"Jeremy, what's your view
on relationships?"

1839
01:06:33,197 --> 01:06:34,698
Like, I'm in the middle of
a game of Call ofDuty...

1840
01:06:34,865 --> 01:06:36,950
Whoa, whoa, whoa, run that back.
What did you just say?

1841
01:06:37,034 --> 01:06:38,910
What, the long-term goals, short...
Please, don't make

1842
01:06:39,036 --> 01:06:40,537
me repeat... Yes, that's
crazy. You know what?

1843
01:06:40,621 --> 01:06:43,373
Candace asked me those exact same
questions on our first date.

1844
01:06:43,541 --> 01:06:44,874
Mya asked me the same thing.

1845
01:06:45,042 --> 01:06:46,126
So did Lauren.

1846
01:06:46,252 --> 01:06:48,420
You know what? You know who
asked me that question?

1847
01:06:49,088 --> 01:06:50,797
Not a goddamn soul!

1848
01:06:50,881 --> 01:06:52,465
'Cause strippers don't ask me shit!

1849
01:06:52,550 --> 01:06:54,175
Listen to what she said
to me the other day.

1850
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:55,510
She said, "I'm not your sports fish."

1851
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:56,761
What is a sports fish?

1852
01:06:56,929 --> 01:06:59,139
A trophy girl. You show her
off to your buddies.

1853
01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:01,141
What the hell are you talking
about, Bennett?

1854
01:07:01,225 --> 01:07:02,225
I was watching Oprah.

1855
01:07:02,309 --> 01:07:03,852
Why are you watching Oprah? I like Oprah.

1856
01:07:03,936 --> 01:07:06,521
Man, you gotta say "no homo" when you say
shit like that at a divorce party.

1857
01:07:06,605 --> 01:07:07,731
BENNETT: She had Steve Harvey on the show.

1858
01:07:07,815 --> 01:07:09,149
He wrote some book.

1859
01:07:09,233 --> 01:07:10,734
It's for women, but it's about men.

1860
01:07:10,901 --> 01:07:12,110
Family Feud Steve Harvey?

1861
01:07:12,194 --> 01:07:13,278
I heard something about that.

1862
01:07:13,362 --> 01:07:14,487
He threw us under the bus like that?

1863
01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:15,780
That's uncouth. I wouldn't do that.

1864
01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,240
I thought Steve Harvey was
kind of my nigga, but...

1865
01:07:17,324 --> 01:07:18,491
Me, too. What?

1866
01:07:18,659 --> 01:07:20,243
You, too, what? I didn't say anything.

1867
01:07:20,411 --> 01:07:23,038
Just tell me exactly what
he says in the book.

1868
01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,247
A whole bunch of shit.

1869
01:07:24,457 --> 01:07:26,416
All right, this is why we're
ruining my party.

1870
01:07:26,500 --> 01:07:27,751
'Cause of that information.

1871
01:07:27,918 --> 01:07:30,587
I got it online, here we
go. I got a review...

1872
01:07:30,755 --> 01:07:31,963
I got to get my hands on that book.

1873
01:07:32,131 --> 01:07:33,465
No, you're not gonna do it now.

1874
01:07:33,632 --> 01:07:35,759
You said bros before hos. One second.

1875
01:07:35,926 --> 01:07:37,677
Exactly! Guess what? Your bro need a ho!

1876
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:39,387
Let me tell you something, I
got a pocket full of ones

1877
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:40,764
and I ain't got no goddamn drawers on.

1878
01:07:40,931 --> 01:07:42,015
I didn't wear no drawers tonight.

1879
01:07:42,099 --> 01:07:43,349
Now y'all supposed to be my wing men.

1880
01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:44,434
Right now, fly with me!

1881
01:07:44,602 --> 01:07:48,772
Celebrate, men! Get your... Fly
with me, men! Goddamn it!

1882
01:07:49,106 --> 01:07:50,106
This ain't good.

1883
01:07:50,274 --> 01:07:51,858
Yes, hello, we're looking
for a book called...

1884
01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:55,445
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

1885
01:07:55,529 --> 01:07:57,363
Everywhere? Thanks.

1886
01:07:58,032 --> 01:07:59,991
Said they've been sold
out for, like, a week.

1887
01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:01,367
Good. Can't be sold out everywhere.

1888
01:08:01,535 --> 01:08:02,535
They don't even have it on eBay.

1889
01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:03,620
It's the power of Oprah.

1890
01:08:03,704 --> 01:08:06,456
I think I got something. Okay,
cool. Where's San Pablo?

1891
01:08:06,540 --> 01:08:07,624
Border of Oregon.

1892
01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:08,958
That's not gonna work.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1893
01:08:09,126 --> 01:08:10,960
Looks like we tried. Hello. Right now?

1894
01:08:11,045 --> 01:08:12,253
Tomorrow is another day.
We can tackle it then.

1895
01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:13,338
Let's go, men. Strip club time!

1896
01:08:13,422 --> 01:08:14,464
Y'all take me to my mama house?

1897
01:08:14,548 --> 01:08:15,632
Driver, can we go to my house?

1898
01:08:15,716 --> 01:08:17,467
I thought you said you was gonna
cancel that with your mama.

1899
01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:19,177
Have you ever tried canceling
on my mom, Ced?

1900
01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:22,013
I'm gonna say this since don't nobody
else wanna say it, Michael.

1901
01:08:22,848 --> 01:08:24,849
You ever try heterosexuality?

1902
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:26,392
(BOTH ARGUING)

1903
01:08:27,186 --> 01:08:28,478
(BOTTLE SHATTERS)

1904
01:08:28,562 --> 01:08:31,439
♪ That booty, that booty
That booty, that booty ♪

1905
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:32,649
Mom!

1906
01:08:33,317 --> 01:08:34,859
(WHOOPS)

1907
01:08:35,569 --> 01:08:36,736
Got your favorite.

1908
01:08:36,904 --> 01:08:38,530
Smelling good, too. Look at that, huh?

1909
01:08:38,697 --> 01:08:41,157
Let me get some chicken. Let me
get some chicken! (LAUGHING)

1910
01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:42,575
Stop. And the onions,

1911
01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:44,536
you know I love the sautéed
onions, and the cornbread.

1912
01:08:44,703 --> 01:08:46,037
I know. I'm gonna get you a plate,

1913
01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:47,497
but clear all this off, first.

1914
01:08:47,665 --> 01:08:48,706
All right, all right.

1915
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:50,834
And make sure that sweet potato pie...

1916
01:08:52,086 --> 01:08:53,878
LORETTA: I will, little boy,
you just clear the counter.

1917
01:08:54,213 --> 01:08:55,672
Mom, what is this?

1918
01:08:56,173 --> 01:08:58,133
That's that book by that big-head boy

1919
01:08:58,217 --> 01:09:00,176
that's on that Family Feud thing.

1920
01:09:00,344 --> 01:09:02,011
Act Like something, Think
Like something else.

1921
01:09:02,179 --> 01:09:03,221
It's the new read for my book club.

1922
01:09:03,347 --> 01:09:05,056
CEDRIC: Every war has its turning point.

1923
01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:08,560
In the Civil War, it was the
Battle of Gettysburg.

1924
01:09:10,104 --> 01:09:11,271
World War Il,

1925
01:09:11,355 --> 01:09:13,022
it was the Invasion of Normandy.

1926
01:09:14,525 --> 01:09:16,401
The definitive turning point in this war

1927
01:09:16,485 --> 01:09:17,735
was that night at Loretta's house.

1928
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,112
It was like finding the Holy Grail.

1929
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,115
Jeremy. Tell them to turn the bus around.

1930
01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:23,992
CEDRIC: The power had just
shifted in our favor.

1931
01:09:24,076 --> 01:09:25,285
But we didn't know that yet.

1932
01:09:25,452 --> 01:09:27,203
"Why Men Do What They Do."
Look at this, guys.

1933
01:09:27,371 --> 01:09:28,872
Steve Harvey is a traitor.

1934
01:09:29,039 --> 01:09:31,624
Hey, look, "Mama's Boys."
Chapter 7. That's you.

1935
01:09:31,792 --> 01:09:32,876
I'm not a Mama's Boy.

1936
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,210
Jer, you don't think I'm
a Mama's Boy, do you?

1937
01:09:34,378 --> 01:09:35,712
Nah. ZEKE: Listen to this.

1938
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,297
"Men respect standards, get some."

1939
01:09:37,381 --> 01:09:38,882
I prefer my women not to have standards.

1940
01:09:38,966 --> 01:09:40,133
In fact, if I've got to choose,

1941
01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:41,843
I'm gonna choose the woman
who has no standards.

1942
01:09:41,927 --> 01:09:44,596
Hold up. "Until a man achieves his
goals, or is on the road to,

1943
01:09:44,763 --> 01:09:46,806
"you will never be number
one in his life."

1944
01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:48,308
See, that's not even true.

1945
01:09:48,475 --> 01:09:50,059
I've achieved absolutely nothing

1946
01:09:50,144 --> 01:09:51,477
and I still put my women first.

1947
01:09:51,645 --> 01:09:53,396
This is sick. It's brainwashing,
I'm telling you.

1948
01:09:53,564 --> 01:09:55,523
She's trying to push me towards my dreams

1949
01:09:55,608 --> 01:09:57,192
and help me accomplish my goals.

1950
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:58,526
Why would she do this?

1951
01:09:58,611 --> 01:09:59,944
Shit, at least you're getting some.

1952
01:10:00,404 --> 01:10:01,821
Ninety days, that's not a probation,

1953
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:03,072
that's a death sentence.

1954
01:10:03,157 --> 01:10:04,449
CEDRIC: Hell, yeah, I want
to taste your yams.

1955
01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:06,826
Hey, Mike, how old is your mom?

1956
01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:07,952
What?

1957
01:10:08,245 --> 01:10:09,412
No, not like that.

1958
01:10:09,496 --> 01:10:11,623
No, it is. It is like
that. How old is she?

1959
01:10:11,707 --> 01:10:14,083
I come in the house, she's like, "You
want to eat?" I said, "Eat what?"

1960
01:10:14,168 --> 01:10:15,585
Yo, first of all, put my plate down

1961
01:10:15,669 --> 01:10:16,794
and stop hitting on my mom, man.

1962
01:10:16,921 --> 01:10:18,463
Don't get mad at me! I don't
even wanna be here.

1963
01:10:18,547 --> 01:10:20,590
Y'all the ones that wanna be here,
I want to go to the strip club!

1964
01:10:20,841 --> 01:10:21,925
Man, wrap this up.

1965
01:10:22,009 --> 01:10:24,177
I got a bunch of ones, and
somebody gonna get them.

1966
01:10:24,345 --> 01:10:27,931
Ms. Loretta! I'm ready for
the rest of the tour.

1967
01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:32,227
You guys are so screwed.

1968
01:10:32,311 --> 01:10:34,270
And honestly, there's nothing
you can do about it.

1969
01:10:34,438 --> 01:10:35,480
Maybe we can.

1970
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,148
They got our playbook, man.

1971
01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:38,691
They know all of our maneuvers.

1972
01:10:38,859 --> 01:10:40,818
Yeah, but they don't know

1973
01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:42,779
that we know that they know our maneuvers.

1974
01:10:42,947 --> 01:10:44,530
You see why I don't hang out
with Jeremy by himself?

1975
01:10:44,615 --> 01:10:45,949
I don't ever know what he's talking about.

1976
01:10:46,116 --> 01:10:47,825
Guys! It's like the Patriots,

1977
01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,203
when Bill Belichick stole the Jets' plays.

1978
01:10:50,371 --> 01:10:52,372
Right, and they got busted. Yeah,
but they won the game.

1979
01:10:52,539 --> 01:10:55,375
And where'd they end up? The Super Bowl.

1980
01:10:55,542 --> 01:10:56,960
I wish I knew what you was talking about.

1981
01:10:57,127 --> 01:10:59,128
We use Steve Harvey's words against them.

1982
01:10:59,296 --> 01:11:00,755
We pretend to give them what they want

1983
01:11:00,839 --> 01:11:02,173
so we get what we want.

1984
01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:03,549
We lie to them.

1985
01:11:04,134 --> 01:11:05,343
Exactly.

1986
01:11:05,427 --> 01:11:08,137
This is war, gentlemen.
There are no rules.

1987
01:11:08,305 --> 01:11:10,974
CEDRIC: Like the great Khan
once said, not Genghis,

1988
01:11:11,141 --> 01:11:13,309
I'm talking about the Latin
guy from Star Trek Il.

1989
01:11:13,477 --> 01:11:15,812
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."

1990
01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:18,481
CANDACE: Michael, I need to
get something off my chest.

1991
01:11:18,649 --> 01:11:20,817
You know what? Before you get
something off your chest,

1992
01:11:20,901 --> 01:11:22,652
I gotta get something off my chest.

1993
01:11:22,820 --> 01:11:24,737
You know I can be a bit of a Mama's Boy?

1994
01:11:25,489 --> 01:11:27,824
I think it really all started
when my dad died.

1995
01:11:29,493 --> 01:11:31,536
It was a rough time for us, you know?

1996
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:35,248
And my mom just started relying
on me for so many things.

1997
01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:36,666
Too many things.

1998
01:11:37,543 --> 01:11:39,419
You know, I had to be the man of the house

1999
01:11:39,503 --> 01:11:41,045
at a really young age

2000
01:11:41,213 --> 01:11:42,714
and I guess maybe that's
why we're so close.

2001
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:43,840
Michael.

2002
01:11:44,174 --> 01:11:46,217
And I guess, I guess what I'm
trying to say is this.

2003
01:11:47,845 --> 01:11:50,680
I want you to be the number
one woman in my life.

2004
01:11:50,848 --> 01:11:51,931
CEDRIC: It was like taking a test

2005
01:11:52,016 --> 01:11:53,308
you already had the answers to.

2006
01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:56,686
You're my priority, Candace. All right?

2007
01:11:56,937 --> 01:11:58,021
Yeah.

2008
01:11:58,230 --> 01:12:00,898
All right. Now, you said you wanted
to talk about something.

2009
01:12:02,651 --> 01:12:03,735
Did I?

2010
01:12:04,194 --> 01:12:05,862
CEDRIC: The women had no chance.

2011
01:12:05,946 --> 01:12:08,114
They were like putty in our hands.

2012
01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:12,910
So, I just updated my résumé,
and sent it off to Neversoft.

2013
01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:14,912
Really? Mmm-hmm.

2014
01:12:15,039 --> 01:12:16,122
You're serious?

2015
01:12:16,206 --> 01:12:17,874
I was intrigued by a job posting

2016
01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:19,542
I saw in Adweek and I thought,

2017
01:12:19,710 --> 01:12:20,918
"Why not go for it, Jeremy?

2018
01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:22,378
"You have nothing else to lose."

2019
01:12:22,546 --> 01:12:24,213
Baby, that's awesome, that's wonderful.

2020
01:12:24,298 --> 01:12:25,882
I'm so proud of you.

2021
01:12:26,091 --> 01:12:27,717
Oh, my God. Don't get too excited, okay?

2022
01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:29,093
It's just a feeler.

2023
01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,720
Probably won't even call me in.

2024
01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:32,263
No, you're selling yourself short.

2025
01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:34,307
Jeremy, you were the best
in your class at Parsons,

2026
01:12:34,391 --> 01:12:35,892
you're a brilliant designer.

2027
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,895
No. You're a brilliant artist.
They'd be lucky to have you.

2028
01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:40,772
I'm lucky to have you.

2029
01:12:42,316 --> 01:12:43,649
You are? Mmm-hmm.

2030
01:12:45,486 --> 01:12:46,652
You know what I was just thinking?

2031
01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:47,779
What?

2032
01:12:47,905 --> 01:12:49,572
Nobody's had sex on this couch yet.

2033
01:12:49,907 --> 01:12:50,990
What?

2034
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:52,909
No, it's a virgin couch. Really?

2035
01:12:52,993 --> 01:12:53,993
Mmm-hmm.

2036
01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:55,328
What do you think we should do about that?

2037
01:12:55,496 --> 01:12:57,121
There's about 10 things I think
we can do about that.

2038
01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:58,247
Only 10?

2039
01:12:58,582 --> 01:13:00,583
You'll be crying out like
a bitch after three.

2040
01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:02,085
Now I'm scared.

2041
01:13:02,294 --> 01:13:03,461
I love this couch.

2042
01:13:03,629 --> 01:13:04,921
CEDRIC: After careful study,

2043
01:13:05,005 --> 01:13:06,839
Dominic realized there was only one man

2044
01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:08,257
who could impress the Alpha Female.

2045
01:13:08,425 --> 01:13:10,134
"The Guy With Potential." Zeke.

2046
01:13:10,302 --> 01:13:12,345
What? I have to show her
I'm a man with a plan.

2047
01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,180
Well, just make some shit up, dude. No.

2048
01:13:14,348 --> 01:13:15,807
Remember that restaurant idea I had? Yeah.

2049
01:13:15,974 --> 01:13:17,767
I need you to help me
with a business plan.

2050
01:13:17,935 --> 01:13:19,602
Cook for her. Dummy.

2051
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:21,938
I already did. Breakfast.

2052
01:13:22,106 --> 01:13:23,981
I ain't talking about no breakfast, boy!

2053
01:13:24,066 --> 01:13:25,525
Something fancy, Dom.

2054
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:29,362
Like, like one of them dishes
with an apostrophe in it.

2055
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:30,613
Is that your robe?

2056
01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:32,490
ZEKE: Yeah.

2057
01:13:32,616 --> 01:13:33,616
Man, you here again?

2058
01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:37,453
Yes! Ass Factory don't open up 'til
10:00, so I got time to waste.

2059
01:13:37,621 --> 01:13:39,580
Bitch, move in already. What'd you say?

2060
01:13:39,665 --> 01:13:40,706
Huh?

2061
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:41,958
I'm sorry if I want to
be around my friends

2062
01:13:42,042 --> 01:13:43,459
when I'm going through a divorce.

2063
01:13:43,544 --> 01:13:44,710
What was I thinking?

2064
01:13:44,795 --> 01:13:46,170
You're something else, boy.

2065
01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,257
Look, Gail used to love it when I would
cook for her. It turned her on.

2066
01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,092
You can do all types of
things in the kitchen.

2067
01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:52,802
We had a little food thing
that we would do.

2068
01:13:52,970 --> 01:13:55,221
I would go and get some chocolate-covered
strawberries, right?

2069
01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:58,433
Then I would come downstairs,
I have a G-string on.

2070
01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:00,935
You know what I'm talking about.
She used to love it.

2071
01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:04,147
So, the game was "Balance the Berry."

2072
01:14:05,357 --> 01:14:06,691
I would put it on the...

2073
01:14:07,651 --> 01:14:08,734
But the way it's...

2074
01:14:10,195 --> 01:14:11,571
The berry ain't gonna stay there for long.

2075
01:14:11,655 --> 01:14:13,322
The berry wouldn't stay on, so...

2076
01:14:15,325 --> 01:14:18,161
The point that I'm making is this, Dom.

2077
01:14:18,328 --> 01:14:20,997
Food is your art. Stick
with what you know.

2078
01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:22,999
Mmm.

2079
01:14:23,417 --> 01:14:24,459
It's good milk, Zeke.

2080
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:27,587
He's right.

2081
01:14:29,798 --> 01:14:30,840
It's on.

2082
01:14:30,966 --> 01:14:32,341
LAUREN: It's over. CANDACE:
Wait, what happened?

2083
01:14:32,509 --> 01:14:34,552
Dominic's car broke down.

2084
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,262
I have to go pick him up?

2085
01:14:36,430 --> 01:14:37,430
So? Calm down.

2086
01:14:37,514 --> 01:14:39,932
Do you know how many times I had to pick
you up when your Jag broke down?

2087
01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,100
Oh, save it, Candace.

2088
01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:42,602
The man is a loser.

2089
01:14:42,686 --> 01:14:44,270
And I'm the fool who slept with him.

2090
01:14:44,354 --> 01:14:45,521
On the first night.

2091
01:14:45,689 --> 01:14:46,939
Which is a memory

2092
01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,400
he will have to cherish for
the rest of his life

2093
01:14:49,568 --> 01:14:53,404
because it is never happening
again. Never.

2094
01:14:57,409 --> 01:14:58,451
Hey, beautiful.

2095
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:01,204
Dominic.

2096
01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:04,499
(TONIGHT (BEST YOU EVER
HAD) PLAYING SOFTLY)

2097
01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:06,000
DOMINIC: You look beautiful.

2098
01:15:06,168 --> 01:15:08,002
Yeah, you've mentioned that.

2099
01:15:09,546 --> 01:15:11,255
Would you like a glass of wine?

2100
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:12,548
Actually, I came over here...

2101
01:15:12,716 --> 01:15:14,967
It's a Chateau Montelena, 2006.

2102
01:15:18,138 --> 01:15:22,475
That won first place in the Judgment
of Paris back in '76.

2103
01:15:22,643 --> 01:15:25,394
Actually, it was a '73
Chardonnay that won,

2104
01:15:25,562 --> 01:15:27,855
but I've heard this one is better.

2105
01:15:28,524 --> 01:15:29,565
It was a gift.

2106
01:15:30,442 --> 01:15:33,528
But I wanted to save it
for a special occasion.

2107
01:15:34,780 --> 01:15:36,197
Well, thank you.

2108
01:15:39,409 --> 01:15:40,451
So, um,

2109
01:15:41,828 --> 01:15:42,870
to tonight.

2110
01:15:44,706 --> 01:15:45,748
Yeah.

2111
01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:51,295
Oh, my God.

2112
01:15:51,463 --> 01:15:52,880
This is good.

2113
01:15:53,840 --> 01:15:55,633
Yeah, there's more.

2114
01:15:55,884 --> 01:15:59,220
♪ Best you ever had

2115
01:16:00,097 --> 01:16:04,350
♪ I don't wanna brag but I'll be

2116
01:16:04,434 --> 01:16:05,476
Wow.

2117
01:16:06,103 --> 01:16:09,939
♪ The best you ever had

2118
01:16:10,899 --> 01:16:12,775
You did all this for me?

2119
01:16:16,780 --> 01:16:20,324
♪ The best you ever had

2120
01:16:20,617 --> 01:16:23,035
♪ I hit you with the best throw

2121
01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:24,870
♪ Freestyle and the breaststroke

2122
01:16:25,789 --> 01:16:27,206
♪ Till you blowing cigarette smoke

2123
01:16:27,291 --> 01:16:28,499
(CLEARS THROAT) Good evening, madam.

2124
01:16:29,459 --> 01:16:30,585
Wild...

2125
01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:32,253
Goddamn. Man...

2126
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:34,255
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

2127
01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:36,966
Wild Mushroom en "Croût"?

2128
01:16:38,260 --> 01:16:39,302
BOTH: Croûte.

2129
01:16:39,636 --> 01:16:40,636
Croûte?

2130
01:16:42,014 --> 01:16:43,055
Thank you.

2131
01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:45,349
Enjoy your dinner. Thanks.

2132
01:16:45,726 --> 01:16:50,313
♪ Baby, tonight's the
night we lose control

2133
01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:55,651
I really wanted to change your association
of me with hors d'oeuvres.

2134
01:16:56,862 --> 01:16:58,154
So, what do you think?

2135
01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:00,323
Amazing.

2136
01:17:02,492 --> 01:17:03,826
So are you.

2137
01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,078
Thank you.

2138
01:17:08,999 --> 01:17:10,958
And look at the stars.

2139
01:17:11,627 --> 01:17:13,044
Make a wish.

2140
01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,090
Okay.

2141
01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:25,389
Aren't you gonna make one?

2142
01:17:29,394 --> 01:17:30,686
No need.

2143
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:36,692
♪ Baby, tonight you need that

2144
01:17:36,777 --> 01:17:39,445
♪ Tonight believe that

2145
01:17:39,529 --> 01:17:45,868
♪ Tonight I'll be the best you ever had ♪

2146
01:17:45,952 --> 01:17:47,328
CEDRIC: And on that same night,

2147
01:17:47,412 --> 01:17:49,246
Zeke was on an entirely different
kind of mission.

2148
01:17:49,414 --> 01:17:51,123
Dude, don't tell me what I
said. I know what I said.

2149
01:17:51,291 --> 01:17:53,209
But I'm telling you, I'm
done with her. What?

2150
01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,127
I'm not competing with this 90-Day Rule.

2151
01:17:55,295 --> 01:17:56,629
You have the ammo.

2152
01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:58,464
KRISTEN: Babe, I'm going upstairs.

2153
01:18:01,468 --> 01:18:02,551
All right, listen.

2154
01:18:02,719 --> 01:18:07,473
Use "how men show their love" against
her to get the cookie.

2155
01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:09,225
You profess. Call her your girlfriend.

2156
01:18:09,393 --> 01:18:11,102
Bro, stop it. Do you have any
idea what I've been through?

2157
01:18:11,269 --> 01:18:13,813
I'm sick of picking up checks
and opening doors,

2158
01:18:13,980 --> 01:18:16,023
and talking about our feelings
and our childhoods.

2159
01:18:16,191 --> 01:18:17,942
It's like the 1950s, man!
I just want to hit.

2160
01:18:18,110 --> 01:18:20,778
And if she thinks I'm gonna wait 71
more days just to get the cookie,

2161
01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:22,905
oh, she gonna be waiting by
herself. You kept count?

2162
01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:25,658
I'm not counting, but you're gonna
know the amount of day...

2163
01:18:25,826 --> 01:18:26,992
You really like her.

2164
01:18:27,160 --> 01:18:29,161
No, bro, trust me on this.
I am done, okay?

2165
01:18:29,329 --> 01:18:30,496
I'm ending it tonight.

2166
01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:32,123
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, have fun on your date.

2167
01:18:32,290 --> 01:18:34,125
I bet you I dump her 90-day ass.

2168
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:36,877
Hey. Hey.

2169
01:18:37,629 --> 01:18:38,796
Listen. Um...

2170
01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:40,423
Mya, about tonight...

2171
01:18:40,590 --> 01:18:41,632
Okay, I have a surprise.

2172
01:18:42,092 --> 01:18:43,134
You do?

2173
01:18:43,301 --> 01:18:46,303
Yeah, I got us tickets to see
John Legend at Nokia Theatre.

2174
01:18:48,348 --> 01:18:50,725
Okay, that's cool.

2175
01:18:51,017 --> 01:18:52,059
Yeah.

2176
01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:54,729
Okay. Okay. So, let's go.

2177
01:19:01,737 --> 01:19:04,697
So, I hope you don't get mad at me,

2178
01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:08,242
but my uncle is a music producer
and I passed him your CD.

2179
01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:09,452
You took my CD?

2180
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,747
Yes. And the three pieces of
gum that were stuck to it.

2181
01:19:12,914 --> 01:19:15,166
Okay, you know what? I was
looking for that gum.

2182
01:19:15,333 --> 01:19:19,170
You know I'm done with the music industry,
right? I love what I do.

2183
01:19:19,337 --> 01:19:21,672
Okay, Zeke, he's not trying
to sign you, though.

2184
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:24,300
He wants some new songs for some
albums that he's working on.

2185
01:19:24,468 --> 01:19:27,178
Yeah, well, my album went Plat-none, okay?

2186
01:19:27,345 --> 01:19:29,346
I mean, two people heard it and
both of them were relatives.

2187
01:19:29,514 --> 01:19:31,599
Okay, but I was raving about it,

2188
01:19:31,683 --> 01:19:33,267
and he decided to check it out.

2189
01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:35,936
You should've been my manager.

2190
01:19:36,313 --> 01:19:37,313
(CHUCKLES)

2191
01:19:37,522 --> 01:19:39,356
Oh! Zeke!

2192
01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:42,526
Super Freak Zeke! What up, baby?

2193
01:19:42,694 --> 01:19:44,695
Man, hey, what's up...
Xavier! What up, baby.

2194
01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,238
Oh, my goodness. Baby, this is Zeke.

2195
01:19:46,323 --> 01:19:48,157
This is the guy that taught me the move.

2196
01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:49,867
The Chimichanga! He was
the one who taught me.

2197
01:19:50,035 --> 01:19:51,410
Hey, this is my lady, Crystal.

2198
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,662
Hey, what's going on, Crystal?
How you doing?

2199
01:19:55,373 --> 01:19:57,833
Oh, my bad. Xavier, this is...

2200
01:19:59,252 --> 01:20:02,505
Now ladies, if a man simply introduces
you as his friend,

2201
01:20:02,672 --> 01:20:05,424
then please understand, you are
nothing more than his friend.

2202
01:20:05,592 --> 01:20:09,220
See, if a man has a plan for you in his
future, then he's gonna profess it.

2203
01:20:09,387 --> 01:20:11,096
He's gonna attach a title to it.

2204
01:20:11,264 --> 01:20:16,143
You're gonna be his woman, his
lady, his fiancée, or...

2205
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,480
My girlfriend, Mya.

2206
01:20:21,733 --> 01:20:24,109
CEDRIC: Zeke realized the man could
get a hell of a lot further,

2207
01:20:24,277 --> 01:20:28,405
with one well-placed profession than
with six carefully planned dates.

2208
01:20:35,705 --> 01:20:36,705
(GASPS)

2209
01:20:36,790 --> 01:20:37,915
Oh, my God.

2210
01:20:39,251 --> 01:20:40,292
I think we should stop.

2211
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,671
I have to get up early.

2212
01:20:44,005 --> 01:20:46,298
So, I better go.

2213
01:20:47,217 --> 01:20:48,467
Okay.

2214
01:20:48,760 --> 01:20:49,927
Good night!

2215
01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:53,013
Well, I could walk you
to... (CAR DOOR SLAMS)

2216
01:20:53,181 --> 01:20:55,599
Oh, no, I got this. I'm good, good night!

2217
01:20:56,184 --> 01:20:59,478
CEDRIC: The guys may have lost some battles,
but they were winning the war.

2218
01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:01,438
I'm telling you, Gina. It worked.

2219
01:21:01,606 --> 01:21:04,108
He's finally stepping up and
looking for a better job.

2220
01:21:04,276 --> 01:21:06,443
Family Feud knows what he's talking about?

2221
01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:07,570
Changing the game.

2222
01:21:07,904 --> 01:21:09,905
SONIA: How does this affect
the 90-Day Rule?

2223
01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:12,116
The 90-Day Rule is what
got me to this point.

2224
01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:15,202
It's just, I was saying that I'm
not opposed to amending it,

2225
01:21:15,370 --> 01:21:16,662
you know, for good behavior.

2226
01:21:16,830 --> 01:21:18,998
Like changing his Facebook status?

2227
01:21:19,165 --> 01:21:21,125
Yeah, see, that's good behavior,

2228
01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:22,835
but the cookies don't come
out of the cookie jar

2229
01:21:22,919 --> 01:21:24,753
for anything less than
the three magic words.

2230
01:21:24,921 --> 01:21:27,673
I hope you guys are ready
for some fun in the sun.

2231
01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,133
Oh, yeah, some fun in the sun.

2232
01:21:29,301 --> 01:21:30,342
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

2233
01:21:30,427 --> 01:21:32,803
Oh, wait. Baby, should you
get that? It's work.

2234
01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:34,471
Yeah, it's okay.

2235
01:21:34,681 --> 01:21:37,850
No! Why would I answer work calls
when I'm with y'all two?

2236
01:21:37,934 --> 01:21:39,935
Don't worry about work. Yeah, no work.

2237
01:21:40,395 --> 01:21:42,730
You okay back there, Duke? Yeah.

2238
01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:44,440
All right, now you got your license, too?

2239
01:21:44,524 --> 01:21:45,983
'Cause you're driving back, right?

2240
01:21:46,234 --> 01:21:47,443
(CHUCKLING)

2241
01:21:48,278 --> 01:21:49,528
(CAR LOCK BEEPS)

2242
01:21:50,780 --> 01:21:52,156
I'm just joking.

2243
01:21:52,824 --> 01:21:54,450
Such a romantic.

2244
01:21:54,618 --> 01:21:56,243
CEDRIC: Things were almost going too well.

2245
01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:59,330
The guys had forgotten that
they were even at war.

2246
01:22:03,209 --> 01:22:05,753
All right, thanks a lot, everybody.
Once again, I'm Danny Vola.

2247
01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:08,172
Go up there and sing. Come
on, you should go...

2248
01:22:08,340 --> 01:22:09,965
No. I ain't sang in years, you sit down.

2249
01:22:10,133 --> 01:22:12,718
Wait, slow down! Okay, Duke!

2250
01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:15,596
All right, you got this. Be careful!

2251
01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:18,349
I'm about to get you a motorcycle
now, the way you're going, baby.

2252
01:22:18,433 --> 01:22:21,268
♪ I just don't wanna stop Oh, my love

2253
01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:24,521
Oh, you want some?

2254
01:22:24,814 --> 01:22:30,486
♪ A million days in your
arms is never too much

2255
01:22:33,823 --> 01:22:36,241
♪ I just don't wanna stop

2256
01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:38,577
♪ Too much, never too
much Never too much ♪

2257
01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:47,378
Sorry that took so long, babe. One of the
guys needed a little of my advice.

2258
01:22:48,296 --> 01:22:49,630
Where were we?

2259
01:22:49,923 --> 01:22:51,173
Right here. Mmm-hmm.

2260
01:22:51,549 --> 01:22:53,926
CEDRIC: But then things
started to backfire.

2261
01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:56,637
What ever happened with
that job at Neversoft?

2262
01:22:57,055 --> 01:22:58,180
Mmm.

2263
01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:03,268
I forgot to tell you, I heard through the
grapevine they filled the position.

2264
01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:04,520
Mmm? Mmm.

2265
01:23:05,021 --> 01:23:06,105
Really?

2266
01:23:06,773 --> 01:23:07,940
Yeah.

2267
01:23:10,443 --> 01:23:11,652
That's weird,

2268
01:23:13,029 --> 01:23:17,074
'cause I heard from Sarah's
little brother...

2269
01:23:17,409 --> 01:23:19,576
Yeah? ...on Linkedln.

2270
01:23:19,744 --> 01:23:22,663
And he said that the position
was still open.

2271
01:23:23,999 --> 01:23:26,041
Really? Yeah.

2272
01:23:26,209 --> 01:23:28,836
And that he was gonna personally
recommend you to his boss.

2273
01:23:29,004 --> 01:23:32,006
Except your résumé's not on file.

2274
01:23:32,799 --> 01:23:33,841
What?

2275
01:23:35,719 --> 01:23:37,511
I've been waiting this whole time.

2276
01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:41,390
You know what? I had to reset
the modem the other day.

2277
01:23:41,558 --> 01:23:43,684
I bet you the email didn't go through.

2278
01:23:43,852 --> 01:23:47,021
Yeah, I'll fix it in the morning.

2279
01:23:49,399 --> 01:23:50,649
The Internet?

2280
01:23:52,110 --> 01:23:55,195
Yeah, it happens all the time.

2281
01:23:58,575 --> 01:23:59,575
Kris?

2282
01:24:00,952 --> 01:24:02,995
CEDRIC: The truth was catching up to them.

2283
01:24:07,167 --> 01:24:08,584
I'll miss you.

2284
01:24:09,961 --> 01:24:11,462
That's me, all right. I'll see you.

2285
01:24:11,629 --> 01:24:12,629
Okay.

2286
01:24:24,017 --> 01:24:25,642
♪ Ah

2287
01:24:30,148 --> 01:24:36,320
♪ Ooh, baby

2288
01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:37,571
♪ Keep on

2289
01:24:39,115 --> 01:24:40,199
♪ My baby

2290
01:24:40,283 --> 01:24:41,784
♪ Keep on doing it

2291
01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:44,995
♪ Right on

2292
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,288
♪ Oh, oh, oh

2293
01:24:46,414 --> 01:24:48,290
♪ Right on doing it

2294
01:24:49,793 --> 01:24:51,293
♪ We get it together

2295
01:24:51,377 --> 01:24:52,586
♪ Baby keep on

2296
01:24:52,670 --> 01:24:54,463
♪ Oh, we get it together baby

2297
01:24:54,756 --> 01:24:56,924
♪ Right on

2298
01:24:57,217 --> 01:24:58,383
♪ Keep on doing it

2299
01:24:58,468 --> 01:24:59,802
♪ And I'll give you baby ♪

2300
01:24:59,886 --> 01:25:00,928
James?

2301
01:25:01,137 --> 01:25:03,055
James Merrill? Lauren Harris.

2302
01:25:04,516 --> 01:25:05,933
Wow, look at you.

2303
01:25:06,309 --> 01:25:09,478
Look at you. (MOUTHING) Oh, my God.

2304
01:25:09,687 --> 01:25:12,981
You are like a fine wine. You just
get better with age, don't you?

2305
01:25:13,149 --> 01:25:16,151
And you get smoother. What
are you doing in LA?

2306
01:25:16,319 --> 01:25:20,322
I'm checking out a sublet. Yeah, I
was just promoted CEO of Sensala.

2307
01:25:20,740 --> 01:25:22,282
Wow. Yeah, yeah.

2308
01:25:22,367 --> 01:25:23,367
I'm relocating to LA.

2309
01:25:23,535 --> 01:25:24,618
You're kidding? No.

2310
01:25:24,702 --> 01:25:27,830
Well, I can't imagine Nina ever
wanting to leave Chicago.

2311
01:25:27,997 --> 01:25:29,706
Yeah, well, that's because she's not.

2312
01:25:30,750 --> 01:25:32,334
We're finalizing our divorce.

2313
01:25:32,877 --> 01:25:34,837
Really? Yeah.

2314
01:25:35,004 --> 01:25:36,046
Oh, I'm sorry.

2315
01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:37,840
No, no, it's all right.

2316
01:25:38,007 --> 01:25:39,383
We're friendly. That's good.

2317
01:25:39,551 --> 01:25:42,177
But what about you? I mean,
are you engaged? Married?

2318
01:25:42,846 --> 01:25:45,848
No. Not married or engaged.

2319
01:25:46,015 --> 01:25:47,349
Really?

2320
01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:49,184
Just dating, but nothing serious.

2321
01:25:49,853 --> 01:25:51,061
Well then, why don't we go to dinner?

2322
01:25:52,021 --> 01:25:53,188
Sure.

2323
01:25:53,356 --> 01:25:55,232
Let's do it. I mean, let's do dinner.

2324
01:25:55,358 --> 01:25:56,650
(CHUCKLES)

2325
01:25:57,193 --> 01:25:58,777
Well, you have to call me.

2326
01:25:58,945 --> 01:26:00,362
Got the same number? Same number.

2327
01:26:00,530 --> 01:26:01,780
All right. Use it.

2328
01:26:01,948 --> 01:26:03,866
Tomorrow night. Absolutely.

2329
01:26:04,909 --> 01:26:06,618
Like the car. Me, too.

2330
01:26:06,786 --> 01:26:07,870
Love the body.

2331
01:26:08,121 --> 01:26:09,872
Ha! On the car.

2332
01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:14,501
I hate to trouble you... Go away!

2333
01:26:14,919 --> 01:26:18,213
I saw this episode last night at
Mom's. This joint is hilarious.

2334
01:26:18,381 --> 01:26:21,091
Wait, I thought you got called
back into work last night.

2335
01:26:21,259 --> 01:26:23,594
Oh, yeah, last night I got
called back into work,

2336
01:26:23,761 --> 01:26:25,888
but remember, I told you I
had to stop by my mom's

2337
01:26:26,055 --> 01:26:28,140
to drop off the stuff that
she had put at my...

2338
01:26:28,224 --> 01:26:29,933
No. Yeah, I told you that, babe.

2339
01:26:30,018 --> 01:26:31,143
No, I don't think you...

2340
01:26:31,227 --> 01:26:32,686
Give me a kiss, baby. You
don't be listening.

2341
01:26:32,770 --> 01:26:35,189
CEDRIC: And the lies were
starting to add up.

2342
01:26:35,356 --> 01:26:37,900
Listen, my mom's planning a
really big family reunion.

2343
01:26:38,067 --> 01:26:39,151
I'd love it if you could come.

2344
01:26:39,235 --> 01:26:40,277
Whatever you want, baby.

2345
01:26:40,403 --> 01:26:41,486
Really? Yeah.

2346
01:26:41,571 --> 01:26:45,657
I mean, the only bad thing is if your
mom and grandma are as fine as you,

2347
01:26:45,825 --> 01:26:47,826
you might have some competition
over there.

2348
01:26:47,994 --> 01:26:49,161
(LAUGHING) Come here.

2349
01:26:50,371 --> 01:26:51,413
DUKE: Cool!

2350
01:26:51,539 --> 01:26:52,706
It's at the park, in Culver City.

2351
01:26:52,874 --> 01:26:55,000
There's gonna be a trampoline
and barbecue.

2352
01:26:55,168 --> 01:26:58,253
These walls have ears. Duke,
please go back to bed.

2353
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:04,051
So, it's gonna be the 20th and
it's gonna be so great.

2354
01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:05,969
We're gonna have these cotton
candy machines...

2355
01:27:06,137 --> 01:27:07,596
The 20th of this month?

2356
01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:08,764
Mmm-hmm. Carousels...

2357
01:27:08,932 --> 01:27:10,891
Baby, I can't make the 20th.

2358
01:27:11,142 --> 01:27:12,351
Why?

2359
01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:15,103
Well, actually, I promised my mom.

2360
01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:16,480
It's her church anniversary,
so I promised...

2361
01:27:16,648 --> 01:27:18,065
DUKE: Really? You gotta be kidding me!

2362
01:27:18,233 --> 01:27:19,733
Good night, Duke!

2363
01:27:19,901 --> 01:27:21,193
Baby, I'm gonna see what
I can do, all right?

2364
01:27:21,361 --> 01:27:23,362
Okay. I'm gonna make it happen.

2365
01:27:23,529 --> 01:27:24,780
Come here, girl, come here.

2366
01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:28,283
CEDRIC: Turns out, the only problem
in pretending to step up is,

2367
01:27:28,451 --> 01:27:30,869
well, sometimes, you actually have to.

2368
01:27:31,037 --> 01:27:32,287
Yo, watch this right here.

2369
01:27:32,372 --> 01:27:34,289
Hold it, this is about to jump...

2370
01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:37,125
(PEOPLE SCREAMING EXCITEDLY))

2371
01:27:40,004 --> 01:27:41,838
Okay, what?

2372
01:27:43,633 --> 01:27:47,427
Okay, okay, okay. I wanted to wait
until we had proper drinks,

2373
01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:50,847
but I talked to my uncle last night,

2374
01:27:51,015 --> 01:27:54,309
and he listened to your
CD, and he loved it.

2375
01:27:54,477 --> 01:27:56,061
And he's obsessed with number seven,

2376
01:27:56,145 --> 01:27:57,980
and they want to meet with you on Tuesday!

2377
01:27:58,147 --> 01:27:59,314
Congratulations!

2378
01:27:59,565 --> 01:28:02,276
Oh, my God. You did this for me?

2379
01:28:02,443 --> 01:28:06,530
No, you did it. You left
it all on the track.

2380
01:28:06,990 --> 01:28:08,615
I love you, girl.

2381
01:28:14,330 --> 01:28:15,664
CEDRIC: Without even meaning to,

2382
01:28:15,748 --> 01:28:18,542
Zeke done messed around and uttered
the three magic words

2383
01:28:18,710 --> 01:28:20,585
that finally opened the cookie jar.

2384
01:28:45,361 --> 01:28:47,654
But Zeke's victory was short-lived.

2385
01:29:16,851 --> 01:29:17,851
(CHUCKLES)

2386
01:29:20,897 --> 01:29:23,815
Uh-oh. This cannot be good.

2387
01:29:25,985 --> 01:29:27,319
No, no, no.

2388
01:29:38,414 --> 01:29:39,748
(DOOR OPENING)

2389
01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:43,418
(MUFFLED SPEECH)

2390
01:29:45,088 --> 01:29:48,548
Am I tripping, or was last night
the best night of my life?

2391
01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:49,883
You got the cookie.

2392
01:29:50,051 --> 01:29:51,885
The cookie? I'm the cookie monster.

2393
01:29:51,969 --> 01:29:54,388
You know what I got us?
I got some latte...

2394
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:00,560
Mya, I can explain that.

2395
01:30:00,728 --> 01:30:03,230
You lying-ass sack of shit!

2396
01:30:04,607 --> 01:30:06,983
I was just using this to defend myself.

2397
01:30:07,151 --> 01:30:08,735
Defending yourself against what?

2398
01:30:08,820 --> 01:30:09,861
Against your 90-Day Rule.

2399
01:30:09,987 --> 01:30:12,823
That was created for women to protect
themselves from sorry-asses like you.

2400
01:30:12,907 --> 01:30:14,699
Oh, so I'm the villain, and you
didn't even have the guts

2401
01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:16,785
to tell me that I was on
a 90-day probation.

2402
01:30:16,869 --> 01:30:18,078
I was gonna tell you. Oh,
were you gonna tell me?

2403
01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:22,332
Yes, I was gonna tell you. But then,
I thought I might amend it.

2404
01:30:24,919 --> 01:30:27,379
'Cause I thought you might
actually be the one.

2405
01:30:28,005 --> 01:30:29,339
So, was any of it real?

2406
01:30:29,799 --> 01:30:34,094
Any of it? The wining, the dining?
Calling me your girlfriend?

2407
01:30:34,262 --> 01:30:36,138
Or was that all just to get the cookie?

2408
01:30:38,391 --> 01:30:39,474
Wow.

2409
01:30:40,977 --> 01:30:42,352
You win, congratulations.

2410
01:30:43,396 --> 01:30:45,355
You got it, right? You won.

2411
01:30:45,523 --> 01:30:47,315
Mya, wait a minute. Mya, it was true.

2412
01:30:47,483 --> 01:30:49,109
Zeke, don't touch me!

2413
01:30:50,236 --> 01:30:51,653
God, you're so good.

2414
01:30:52,572 --> 01:30:53,905
You're so good.

2415
01:30:54,115 --> 01:30:56,825
Because even when I know
that you're lying,

2416
01:30:58,119 --> 01:31:00,036
I still almost believe you.

2417
01:31:00,663 --> 01:31:05,208
CEDRIC: In The Art of War, Sun Tzu wrote,
"All warfare is based on deception."

2418
01:31:05,376 --> 01:31:08,295
He left out, "Only dumbasses get caught."

2419
01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:09,796
(RINGING)

2420
01:31:09,881 --> 01:31:11,256
CANDACE: Baby, your phone!

2421
01:31:11,674 --> 01:31:14,968
CEDRIC: Meanwhile, Candace didn't even need
to find the book to get the message.

2422
01:31:15,136 --> 01:31:16,219
Michael Atwater's phone?

2423
01:31:17,054 --> 01:31:18,096
Tandace?

2424
01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:19,181
Loretta?

2425
01:31:19,307 --> 01:31:24,227
Listen, I'm calling to tell Michael that
I don't need him to take me to church.

2426
01:31:24,645 --> 01:31:27,481
Deacon Johnson will be
driving me to church.

2427
01:31:27,648 --> 01:31:29,733
Let me talk to him. Is he free?

2428
01:31:29,901 --> 01:31:31,401
He will be.

2429
01:31:31,736 --> 01:31:33,737
MICHAEL: Here we go! Oh, slam dunk!

2430
01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,238
Michael.

2431
01:31:36,616 --> 01:31:37,741
Can I talk to you for a minute?

2432
01:31:37,992 --> 01:31:38,992
Uh-oh.

2433
01:31:39,076 --> 01:31:40,368
Uh-oh. What?

2434
01:31:40,536 --> 01:31:41,536
Ha! You'll see.

2435
01:31:41,621 --> 01:31:42,787
Duke, get in the house.

2436
01:31:43,080 --> 01:31:44,915
Baby, did you see that boy's skills?

2437
01:31:45,082 --> 01:31:46,208
If I keep on...

2438
01:31:46,375 --> 01:31:47,542
What's wrong, baby? What's up?

2439
01:31:48,461 --> 01:31:50,295
Your, uh, work just called.

2440
01:31:50,463 --> 01:31:53,215
And I thought it might be an
emergency, so I picked up.

2441
01:31:53,841 --> 01:31:54,925
But it was just your mom.

2442
01:31:55,218 --> 01:31:58,303
Really? You know, the T-Mobile
Top Five be acting up...

2443
01:31:58,471 --> 01:31:59,804
Don't bullshit me, Michael.

2444
01:31:59,972 --> 01:32:01,932
Baby, listen, I know how that looks,
but trust me, this isn't...

2445
01:32:02,308 --> 01:32:04,142
Trust? I believed you.

2446
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:08,230
I can't compete with your
mother. And I won't.

2447
01:32:08,397 --> 01:32:09,564
You don't have to...

2448
01:32:09,732 --> 01:32:11,691
Then why did you look me
in my face and lie?

2449
01:32:15,154 --> 01:32:16,530
You need to go.

2450
01:32:17,406 --> 01:32:18,532
Baby, listen I...

2451
01:32:18,741 --> 01:32:20,200
Get out of my face, Michael.

2452
01:32:28,042 --> 01:32:30,961
CEDRIC: And Candace wasn't the only
one who was all business that day.

2453
01:32:31,128 --> 01:32:32,337
Hey, beautiful.

2454
01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:34,965
Hi. How are you?

2455
01:32:35,883 --> 01:32:37,175
Um, I have a 2 o'clock, so...

2456
01:32:37,260 --> 01:32:38,593
You look stunning.

2457
01:32:38,844 --> 01:32:40,095
Thank you.

2458
01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:42,764
So, you said you had some news?

2459
01:32:42,932 --> 01:32:45,976
Yeah. My investor friend that
I told you about? Mmm-hmm.

2460
01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:49,813
Read your prospectus, loves it, and
wants you to give him a call.

2461
01:32:50,273 --> 01:32:51,523
You serious?

2462
01:32:51,649 --> 01:32:53,400
I told you it was brilliant.

2463
01:32:53,901 --> 01:32:55,860
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

2464
01:32:57,113 --> 01:32:59,739
Okay, we gotta go celebrate.
Let's go out tonight.

2465
01:32:59,907 --> 01:33:01,658
I'm not free tonight.

2466
01:33:01,826 --> 01:33:04,494
Okay, well, what about
tomorrow night, then?

2467
01:33:04,745 --> 01:33:07,455
Dominic, I'm gonna hit you
with the headline, okay?

2468
01:33:07,623 --> 01:33:10,709
I recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend
of mine from college.

2469
01:33:10,876 --> 01:33:12,043
Anyway, he just got a divorce

2470
01:33:12,128 --> 01:33:13,587
and is moving back to LA and I...

2471
01:33:13,671 --> 01:33:14,671
Whoa, whoa.

2472
01:33:15,381 --> 01:33:16,590
You breaking up with me?

2473
01:33:16,757 --> 01:33:19,968
No! No, I'm not breaking
up, just taking a break.

2474
01:33:20,136 --> 01:33:21,511
I need some space. Space.

2475
01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:23,179
Yeah, because we were moving too fast...

2476
01:33:23,264 --> 01:33:25,015
Yeah, you sound like a guy.

2477
01:33:25,182 --> 01:33:26,224
What did you say?

2478
01:33:26,350 --> 01:33:28,018
I said you sound like a guy.

2479
01:33:28,519 --> 01:33:32,147
Is that why you invited me to this
place? For a business lunch?

2480
01:33:32,398 --> 01:33:33,565
So you can have an out-time?

2481
01:33:33,733 --> 01:33:35,150
Dominic, look, I really like you.

2482
01:33:35,443 --> 01:33:39,654
Okay? I didn't want to string you
along. Let's just be friends.

2483
01:33:39,822 --> 01:33:42,115
Yeah, I don't really need
any more friends, Lauren.

2484
01:33:42,366 --> 01:33:46,661
You know, and I really don't need
your friends to let me down easy.

2485
01:33:46,829 --> 01:33:48,580
Okay, don't be stupid, Dominic.

2486
01:33:48,664 --> 01:33:49,956
That's business, not personal.

2487
01:33:52,043 --> 01:33:53,627
Do you even know the difference?

2488
01:33:53,961 --> 01:33:55,003
You know, Lauren, I...

2489
01:33:56,088 --> 01:34:00,967
I never even had a prospectus, you
know? I did it all to impress you.

2490
01:34:02,303 --> 01:34:06,431
You inspired me, you motivated me to do
something for myself for the first time.

2491
01:34:07,850 --> 01:34:10,310
And all this time, I thought
you were too good for me.

2492
01:34:12,813 --> 01:34:13,855
(LAUGHS HUMORLESSLY)

2493
01:34:25,701 --> 01:34:27,952
Kris? Picked up some pizza.

2494
01:34:51,143 --> 01:34:52,268
(SIGHS)

2495
01:34:59,318 --> 01:35:00,735
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

2496
01:35:01,445 --> 01:35:05,740
What I don't get is just like the book,
I was the guy with potential.

2497
01:35:05,908 --> 01:35:09,035
I told her the truth, I put myself out
there, and it still wasn't enough.

2498
01:35:09,203 --> 01:35:11,329
At least you didn't get caught
in a flat-out lie.

2499
01:35:11,497 --> 01:35:13,790
Y'all should see how bad things
are with Candace right now.

2500
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:17,210
Kristen wouldn't even look at me
when I showed up at Gina's.

2501
01:35:17,628 --> 01:35:18,837
She'll change her mind.

2502
01:35:19,004 --> 01:35:22,298
Nah. You did not see the way
she looked at me. Such...

2503
01:35:22,466 --> 01:35:23,717
Hate? Hurt.

2504
01:35:23,884 --> 01:35:26,636
It's hate. Women will hate you fast.

2505
01:35:26,804 --> 01:35:29,597
Either way, fellas. I think we
brought this upon ourselves.

2506
01:35:29,765 --> 01:35:33,727
It was self-defense. They attacked
first! We had to strike back.

2507
01:35:33,894 --> 01:35:36,396
We were just protecting our natural-born
right to be men. Am I right?

2508
01:35:36,897 --> 01:35:37,939
Right. Right.

2509
01:35:38,107 --> 01:35:39,774
Love us or leave us, right?

2510
01:35:40,276 --> 01:35:41,359
ALL: Right!

2511
01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:43,194
And they left us. Ha!

2512
01:35:44,488 --> 01:35:45,613
ALL: Right.

2513
01:35:45,740 --> 01:35:48,283
♪ I know you're somewhere out there

2514
01:35:48,367 --> 01:35:51,202
♪ Somewhere far away

2515
01:35:51,287 --> 01:35:56,958
♪ I want you back

2516
01:35:58,794 --> 01:36:01,171
♪ I'm feeling like I'm famous

2517
01:36:01,255 --> 01:36:03,882
♪ The talk of the town

2518
01:36:04,175 --> 01:36:06,718
♪ They say I've gone mad

2519
01:36:07,636 --> 01:36:09,971
♪ Yeah, I've gone mad

2520
01:36:11,974 --> 01:36:14,142
♪ But they don't know what I know

2521
01:36:14,226 --> 01:36:17,228
♪ 'Cause when the sun goes down

2522
01:36:17,313 --> 01:36:19,856
♪ Someone's talking back

2523
01:36:20,357 --> 01:36:23,318
♪ Yeah, they're talking back

2524
01:36:23,652 --> 01:36:24,986
♪ Oh

2525
01:36:25,529 --> 01:36:27,655
♪ At night when the stars light up my room

2526
01:36:27,740 --> 01:36:29,324
(KNOCKING) We're back.

2527
01:36:29,492 --> 01:36:30,992
Take all the time you need.

2528
01:36:31,160 --> 01:36:32,285
Thanks.

2529
01:36:32,369 --> 01:36:35,914
♪ I sit by myself

2530
01:36:35,998 --> 01:36:38,792
♪ Talking to the moon

2531
01:36:38,876 --> 01:36:40,543
BARTENDER: Zeke, check it out.

2532
01:36:41,170 --> 01:36:43,463
Your right. My left.

2533
01:36:49,345 --> 01:36:50,678
Not my type.

2534
01:36:50,846 --> 01:36:55,266
That's how we do it, Zeke. I line
them up, you mow them down.

2535
01:36:56,101 --> 01:36:57,477
Can I have my tab?

2536
01:37:15,788 --> 01:37:17,455
CEDRIC: You can only get it once a year.

2537
01:37:17,540 --> 01:37:18,581
What kind of meat is in the McRib?

2538
01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:19,958
Fellas. Let me guess,

2539
01:37:20,042 --> 01:37:21,334
school pictures?

2540
01:37:21,502 --> 01:37:22,752
(LAUGHS) You look like
a substitute teacher.

2541
01:37:22,962 --> 01:37:24,045
(ALL LAUGHING)

2542
01:37:24,171 --> 01:37:28,591
I finally sent my résumé over to Neversoft.
I had my meeting today.

2543
01:37:28,759 --> 01:37:31,761
And they just called. I got the job.

2544
01:37:32,096 --> 01:37:33,137
Is that right?

2545
01:37:33,222 --> 01:37:34,222
Congratulations, man!

2546
01:37:34,306 --> 01:37:37,475
I'm a senior designer at Neversoft.
With full benefits.

2547
01:37:37,560 --> 01:37:38,893
Damn right, and the next step
is the expense card.

2548
01:37:38,978 --> 01:37:40,061
I gotta call Kris.

2549
01:37:42,356 --> 01:37:44,148
She not talking to you, huh?

2550
01:37:44,441 --> 01:37:46,025
No. Well, you should call her anyway.

2551
01:37:46,944 --> 01:37:48,444
She's the reason it happened, right?

2552
01:37:49,488 --> 01:37:50,572
Yeah.

2553
01:37:50,656 --> 01:37:51,656
That's good advice, right there.

2554
01:37:51,740 --> 01:37:52,782
How's that project going along?

2555
01:37:52,867 --> 01:37:54,409
It's going great. In fact,

2556
01:37:54,493 --> 01:37:57,328
I'm gonna have to get out of here
soon and go get some work done.

2557
01:37:57,413 --> 01:37:59,747
You know what we should do?
We should celebrate, right?

2558
01:37:59,915 --> 01:38:02,208
DOMINIC: Nice. Yes. New job,
first round's on Michael.

2559
01:38:02,376 --> 01:38:03,376
Yes. I like that.

2560
01:38:03,460 --> 01:38:04,752
No, no. I just had the last round...

2561
01:38:04,920 --> 01:38:05,962
This is nice, just the fellas.

2562
01:38:06,046 --> 01:38:07,630
Just like old times.

2563
01:38:07,798 --> 01:38:10,550
No, it's not like old times because
I don't have a curfew this time.

2564
01:38:10,718 --> 01:38:13,887
Speaking of curfew, I gotta
go. My night to cook.

2565
01:38:14,054 --> 01:38:15,305
CEDRIC: Bennett, you sound like a bitch.

2566
01:38:15,472 --> 01:38:17,891
We just got finished hearing good news,
we with the fellas, we drinking.

2567
01:38:17,975 --> 01:38:20,852
He running home all henpecked.
Come on, man!

2568
01:38:21,020 --> 01:38:22,395
I'm not cooking 'cause I have to,

2569
01:38:22,479 --> 01:38:23,855
I'm cooking 'cause I want
to, that's my wife.

2570
01:38:23,939 --> 01:38:25,148
Come on, now, Bennett.

2571
01:38:25,232 --> 01:38:27,275
I'm not saying it like that, I'm
saying just, right now...

2572
01:38:27,359 --> 01:38:28,776
Don't be mad at me 'cause I
got a wife at the house.

2573
01:38:28,861 --> 01:38:31,362
That means sometimes I can't hang
out all night with you guys,

2574
01:38:31,447 --> 01:38:33,698
I gotta go home early then
that's what I gotta do.

2575
01:38:34,491 --> 01:38:35,617
I'm just saying.

2576
01:38:35,868 --> 01:38:37,410
I got this round.

2577
01:38:38,203 --> 01:38:39,329
I'm happy for you, congratulations.

2578
01:38:39,413 --> 01:38:40,455
Thank you.

2579
01:38:40,539 --> 01:38:41,873
I'll see you guys. ZEKE: Big B!

2580
01:38:42,041 --> 01:38:43,666
You're $20 short, Bennett.

2581
01:38:43,834 --> 01:38:47,921
Yeah, no, I used to cook for Gail
on Thursdays. That was my day.

2582
01:38:48,088 --> 01:38:50,006
I'm happy we're free. I really am.

2583
01:38:50,174 --> 01:38:52,050
I'm telling you right now, we're
better off without them.

2584
01:38:52,217 --> 01:38:53,635
Yeah, I mean, who needs to
put up with their shit?

2585
01:38:53,802 --> 01:38:55,511
And their demands, the nagging...

2586
01:38:55,679 --> 01:38:59,641
The expectations. Expectation is
the catalyst for all of that.

2587
01:38:59,808 --> 01:39:00,850
Here we go. CEDRIC: You know what's funny?

2588
01:39:01,018 --> 01:39:04,771
Gail used to love it when I cooked
Bolognese sauce from scratch.

2589
01:39:04,939 --> 01:39:06,105
Like, that was her favorite, so...

2590
01:39:06,273 --> 01:39:09,359
All right, boys, we are free
to do whatever we want,

2591
01:39:09,526 --> 01:39:13,321
with whoever we want, whenever we
want, all right? To freedom!

2592
01:39:13,489 --> 01:39:14,530
ALL: Freedom!

2593
01:39:14,615 --> 01:39:19,160
♪ Bright lights, big city going to my head

2594
01:39:19,411 --> 01:39:21,913
♪ Bright lights, big city... ♪

2595
01:39:21,997 --> 01:39:24,207
Ced, lift your glass, man, get involved.

2596
01:39:24,375 --> 01:39:25,416
Right, I'm sorry. No, no, no.

2597
01:39:25,501 --> 01:39:26,501
MICHAEL: Take that shot, baby.

2598
01:39:26,585 --> 01:39:28,252
To freedom. Huh?

2599
01:39:28,963 --> 01:39:30,088
Huh? Bottoms up.

2600
01:39:31,882 --> 01:39:33,216
Don't need them.

2601
01:39:34,385 --> 01:39:35,635
I gotta piss.

2602
01:39:35,803 --> 01:39:36,928
I'll be right back.

2603
01:39:37,096 --> 01:39:39,389
Look like you gotta take a
dump, the way you moving.

2604
01:39:40,516 --> 01:39:41,724
(PHONE RINGING)

2605
01:39:47,439 --> 01:39:48,523
What?

2606
01:39:48,774 --> 01:39:50,566
Gail, ain't nobody calling to
fight with you right now.

2607
01:39:50,651 --> 01:39:52,735
What the hell do... Look! I'm coming home.

2608
01:39:52,903 --> 01:39:54,404
Really, Cedric?

2609
01:39:54,571 --> 01:39:56,990
Gail, let me tell you something.
That's my house, too, Gail!

2610
01:39:57,157 --> 01:39:58,825
I pay the bills in that house!

2611
01:39:58,909 --> 01:40:00,994
It's my house, too. I'm coming home.

2612
01:40:01,161 --> 01:40:03,913
Which is where I belong, girl.

2613
01:40:04,540 --> 01:40:08,042
Gail, I'm tired of this tough
shit. I miss you, Gail.

2614
01:40:08,711 --> 01:40:10,044
Gail, I ain't been the same, man.

2615
01:40:10,212 --> 01:40:13,923
I'm out here, I'm out here
on these streets and shit.

2616
01:40:14,091 --> 01:40:15,508
I'm out here in the strip clubs.

2617
01:40:15,676 --> 01:40:19,721
These girls calling me by my first
name, like, I'm there every day!

2618
01:40:19,888 --> 01:40:22,640
Which I am, but that's because I'm
going through something, Gail.

2619
01:40:22,808 --> 01:40:27,020
I need to be held. I need you to rub
my back. Put me in my onesie.

2620
01:40:27,187 --> 01:40:28,730
I changed, I need my woman back!

2621
01:40:28,897 --> 01:40:30,940
I'm around all these men and shit!

2622
01:40:31,108 --> 01:40:32,108
I don't want it.

2623
01:40:32,192 --> 01:40:35,278
I don't want that life no more,
I want you and Jesus.

2624
01:40:35,362 --> 01:40:36,487
And that's it.

2625
01:40:36,739 --> 01:40:38,114
Okay, Big Daddy.

2626
01:40:38,282 --> 01:40:39,532
What you say?

2627
01:40:39,700 --> 01:40:41,117
How soon can you get here?

2628
01:40:45,039 --> 01:40:46,122
Um...

2629
01:40:47,041 --> 01:40:49,459
Like... Like 20, 22, 23 minutes.

2630
01:40:49,626 --> 01:40:51,961
Bring your sexy ass home. I'll be waiting.

2631
01:40:52,129 --> 01:40:53,963
You want me to bring you something?

2632
01:40:54,048 --> 01:40:55,131
You want like, some Doritos, or something?

2633
01:40:55,299 --> 01:40:57,842
'Cause I can stop and get it, baby.
Whatever makes you happy.

2634
01:40:58,010 --> 01:40:59,761
Just come home. Okay.

2635
01:41:00,012 --> 01:41:01,721
All right, I love you.

2636
01:41:02,431 --> 01:41:03,556
(KISSES) Oh!

2637
01:41:03,849 --> 01:41:05,391
Oh, shit.

2638
01:41:05,934 --> 01:41:07,060
Thank you.

2639
01:41:08,437 --> 01:41:09,520
Whoo!

2640
01:41:10,564 --> 01:41:11,689
Yup.

2641
01:41:13,275 --> 01:41:14,358
(TOILET FLUSHING)

2642
01:41:14,443 --> 01:41:15,651
(CLEARS THROAT)

2643
01:41:17,071 --> 01:41:18,154
Oh.

2644
01:41:21,366 --> 01:41:23,951
Good shit, brother. Go home to Gail.

2645
01:41:30,417 --> 01:41:32,460
Just wipe shit on my back?

2646
01:41:34,963 --> 01:41:37,131
You didn't even wash your hands, man?

2647
01:41:38,425 --> 01:41:41,177
Who the hell shits with a hat on, anyway?

2648
01:41:41,345 --> 01:41:43,596
She said she was coming
from, um, Shanghai.

2649
01:41:43,680 --> 01:41:44,764
DOMINIC: I remember her.

2650
01:41:44,848 --> 01:41:46,557
Fellas, I will see you later.

2651
01:41:46,725 --> 01:41:48,559
Let's all cash out, we'll go together.

2652
01:41:48,644 --> 01:41:49,644
You going to the Ass Factory, right?

2653
01:41:49,728 --> 01:41:51,729
Gail is taking me back, I'm going home.

2654
01:41:53,065 --> 01:41:54,107
Home!

2655
01:41:54,233 --> 01:41:56,317
Girl, I am married. Please!

2656
01:41:56,693 --> 01:41:58,402
Thank you. Married man!

2657
01:41:58,570 --> 01:42:01,531
CEDRIC: That night, we all
realized that the plots,

2658
01:42:01,698 --> 01:42:05,993
plans and schemes couldn't compare
to one simple thing, the truth.

2659
01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:14,836
MICHAEL: Mama!

2660
01:42:14,962 --> 01:42:16,337
Oh, what the hell?

2661
01:42:16,505 --> 01:42:17,839
Hey, baby.

2662
01:42:18,006 --> 01:42:20,716
Oh, flowers, breakfast. Yeah.

2663
01:42:21,176 --> 01:42:22,552
You're a little early, sweetie.

2664
01:42:22,719 --> 01:42:26,097
I know, but I wanted to come
by so I could tell you that

2665
01:42:26,265 --> 01:42:28,558
I'm not gonna be able to make it
to the anniversary today, Mom.

2666
01:42:28,725 --> 01:42:30,059
There's some place I gotta be.

2667
01:42:30,227 --> 01:42:33,146
Well, it's our 75th at the church.

2668
01:42:33,730 --> 01:42:35,982
What's wrong, sweetie? Where you gotta be?

2669
01:42:36,150 --> 01:42:38,776
With Candace. At her family reunion, Mom.

2670
01:42:41,822 --> 01:42:42,864
(SIGHS)

2671
01:42:45,242 --> 01:42:46,409
Well, good for you.

2672
01:42:48,036 --> 01:42:49,704
(LAUGHS) Okay, sweetie.

2673
01:42:49,872 --> 01:42:50,872
Really? All right.

2674
01:42:51,039 --> 01:42:53,207
Now, I'm gonna see you tomorrow,
okay? Time for you to go.

2675
01:42:53,375 --> 01:42:56,335
Loretta, it's my turn to spank you.

2676
01:42:57,087 --> 01:42:58,421
Deacon Johnson?

2677
01:42:58,589 --> 01:42:59,589
You got the keys for these?

2678
01:42:59,673 --> 01:43:00,673
Put those down, fool!

2679
01:43:00,757 --> 01:43:02,258
How long has this been going on?

2680
01:43:02,426 --> 01:43:03,593
Ninety days.

2681
01:43:03,760 --> 01:43:06,470
More like 91. I'm sorry I
stretched your T-shirt.

2682
01:43:06,555 --> 01:43:07,889
How you doing, Michael?

2683
01:43:08,056 --> 01:43:09,724
All right, fool, go on upstairs now.

2684
01:43:09,808 --> 01:43:11,350
You know, these pills cost $19.

2685
01:43:11,518 --> 01:43:12,894
Mom, you got him with my loofah?

2686
01:43:13,061 --> 01:43:14,729
Baby, go on. Go ahead, go ahead.

2687
01:43:14,897 --> 01:43:16,647
Listen here, fool!

2688
01:43:16,815 --> 01:43:20,401
I done told you I'd bring that coffee
upstairs, you old, nasty fool.

2689
01:43:20,861 --> 01:43:21,861
Hey.

2690
01:43:22,404 --> 01:43:24,030
Look who I found.

2691
01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,991
Wow. Okay, third time I hope is a charm.

2692
01:43:27,075 --> 01:43:28,201
Actually, I think it is.

2693
01:43:28,285 --> 01:43:30,077
Go ahead, tell them. We
want to make an offer.

2694
01:43:31,496 --> 01:43:32,663
I told you this was gonna happen.

2695
01:43:32,748 --> 01:43:33,789
No, you didn't, actually.

2696
01:43:34,208 --> 01:43:37,752
This is great news. We sort of had
an instinct about you guys.

2697
01:43:38,086 --> 01:43:39,170
Kris?

2698
01:43:39,254 --> 01:43:40,546
Jeremy, what are you doing here?

2699
01:43:40,714 --> 01:43:41,797
I need to talk to you.

2700
01:43:41,882 --> 01:43:43,925
Yeah, I can't. I'm in the
middle of something.

2701
01:43:44,384 --> 01:43:45,551
This is important.

2702
01:43:46,345 --> 01:43:48,137
Not a problem. Take your time.

2703
01:43:48,305 --> 01:43:50,389
I'm gonna get the paperwork,
and we can get started.

2704
01:43:50,474 --> 01:43:51,474
I'm really sorry.

2705
01:43:53,810 --> 01:43:55,102
Did someone die?

2706
01:43:55,187 --> 01:43:56,229
What? No.

2707
01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:58,105
Well, you have a suit on, so I...

2708
01:43:58,273 --> 01:43:59,690
I got the job at Neversoft, Kris.

2709
01:43:59,775 --> 01:44:00,775
Really?

2710
01:44:00,943 --> 01:44:02,068
Yeah.

2711
01:44:02,277 --> 01:44:05,029
I mean, that's cool. I hope you
didn't do it for my benefit.

2712
01:44:06,490 --> 01:44:08,324
I did. At first.

2713
01:44:08,784 --> 01:44:12,453
But somehow, through all the pretending,

2714
01:44:13,288 --> 01:44:15,456
I figured out I wanted it for me.

2715
01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:19,293
And now that I have it, I want it for us.

2716
01:44:19,795 --> 01:44:22,213
You were the first person I wanted
to call when I got the news,

2717
01:44:22,381 --> 01:44:25,633
and the fact that I couldn't
drove me crazy.

2718
01:44:26,635 --> 01:44:29,470
You're the last person I think about
before I go to sleep at night, Kris.

2719
01:44:29,680 --> 01:44:30,680
Look, I, um,

2720
01:44:31,723 --> 01:44:32,765
I miss you.

2721
01:44:32,891 --> 01:44:34,308
Oh, honey.

2722
01:44:34,476 --> 01:44:37,311
I miss you and I want you back.

2723
01:44:37,813 --> 01:44:39,146
So sweet.

2724
01:44:39,481 --> 01:44:40,815
I want to buy you a house.

2725
01:44:40,983 --> 01:44:42,316
That's my man, step up there.

2726
01:44:42,484 --> 01:44:43,859
I want to buy you this house.

2727
01:44:44,027 --> 01:44:46,153
Back up, bitch. You ain't buying my house.

2728
01:44:46,321 --> 01:44:47,321
Oh, it's fine.

2729
01:44:47,489 --> 01:44:48,864
How the hell he talking
about buying my house?

2730
01:44:48,991 --> 01:44:50,032
Breathe.

2731
01:44:50,117 --> 01:44:52,660
I'm breathing, I'm breathing.
I got it, I got it.

2732
01:44:54,663 --> 01:44:55,871
Okay.

2733
01:45:07,926 --> 01:45:11,721
I want to be your wife. And I
want you to be my husband...

2734
01:45:16,435 --> 01:45:18,185
I want to be your husband.

2735
01:45:19,104 --> 01:45:21,105
And I want you to be my wife

2736
01:45:21,398 --> 01:45:22,982
so bad.

2737
01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:24,817
So, um...

2738
01:45:35,912 --> 01:45:37,163
Will you marry me?

2739
01:45:41,209 --> 01:45:42,251
It's a yes.

2740
01:45:43,295 --> 01:45:44,295
Oh, she did it.

2741
01:45:44,379 --> 01:45:45,338
Go ahead, my man.

2742
01:45:45,464 --> 01:45:47,798
She did it 'cause she changed
the game. She did what?

2743
01:45:47,966 --> 01:45:49,091
Oh, don't worry about it.

2744
01:45:58,518 --> 01:46:00,519
CEDRIC: Even Zeke was singing a new tune.

2745
01:46:00,687 --> 01:46:02,938
That last one was Bitch Betta
Have My Money by AMG.

2746
01:46:03,023 --> 01:46:04,690
I don't really feel like being
out of the house right now.

2747
01:46:04,775 --> 01:46:06,067
Come on.

2748
01:46:06,443 --> 01:46:09,737
You know the best way to get over
an old guy is to get a new one.

2749
01:46:09,946 --> 01:46:10,988
You're coming.

2750
01:46:11,073 --> 01:46:12,073
...make sure you show him some love.

2751
01:46:12,157 --> 01:46:13,616
Zeke, come on up. (PEOPLE CLAPPING)

2752
01:46:15,118 --> 01:46:16,160
Hey, thank you.

2753
01:46:16,244 --> 01:46:17,286
Oh, my God.

2754
01:46:17,371 --> 01:46:18,788
I haven't really played
this song in years...

2755
01:46:18,955 --> 01:46:20,122
Is that...

2756
01:46:20,248 --> 01:46:23,959
...but it was inspired by a
very special woman who, um,

2757
01:46:25,670 --> 01:46:27,421
is definitely worth waiting for.

2758
01:46:30,008 --> 01:46:33,844
♪ Last night I had a dream about a dream

2759
01:46:33,929 --> 01:46:36,764
♪ About you ♪

2760
01:46:40,519 --> 01:46:42,228
I gotta get out of here. Mya!

2761
01:46:43,105 --> 01:46:44,438
Mya!

2762
01:46:46,942 --> 01:46:49,777
Mya, will you hold up? Mya?

2763
01:46:49,945 --> 01:46:51,904
You think you can just sing one song

2764
01:46:51,988 --> 01:46:53,322
and everything's gonna be forgotten?

2765
01:46:53,490 --> 01:46:55,533
No! I was just hoping it would be a start.

2766
01:46:55,951 --> 01:46:58,536
You know what? You know, you can't
change a person's nature, Zeke.

2767
01:46:58,703 --> 01:47:00,329
That is not true. I know for
a fact that that's not true.

2768
01:47:00,455 --> 01:47:01,872
How? Because I want to start over.

2769
01:47:03,250 --> 01:47:04,834
I want 90 more days.

2770
01:47:06,420 --> 01:47:07,545
Without sex?

2771
01:47:07,712 --> 01:47:09,630
If that's what it takes.

2772
01:47:09,923 --> 01:47:12,091
I don't want the sex, Mya. I want you.

2773
01:47:12,384 --> 01:47:13,884
That's bullshit.

2774
01:47:15,971 --> 01:47:18,055
Okay, that's bullshit. Yes!
Of course I want the sex.

2775
01:47:18,223 --> 01:47:21,600
But the difference is the sex is all
I wanted before I met you. Now,

2776
01:47:22,227 --> 01:47:23,352
I want you.

2777
01:47:24,354 --> 01:47:25,354
Okay?

2778
01:47:25,897 --> 01:47:28,357
Now? I want coffee.

2779
01:47:29,818 --> 01:47:33,446
I want to stay up all night talking about
your crazy childhood. I want...

2780
01:47:34,990 --> 01:47:39,034
I don't know. I want to talk
about Aristotle's Caves.

2781
01:47:39,327 --> 01:47:40,494
(CHUCKLES)

2782
01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:44,331
It's Plato's.

2783
01:47:44,499 --> 01:47:45,875
Plato got caves, too?

2784
01:47:46,585 --> 01:47:47,835
Yeah.

2785
01:47:48,253 --> 01:47:49,753
Mya, I love you.

2786
01:47:51,756 --> 01:47:54,341
I'm in love with you.

2787
01:47:56,595 --> 01:47:59,263
I've never said that to anyone in my life.

2788
01:48:00,807 --> 01:48:01,849
(SIGHS)

2789
01:48:02,517 --> 01:48:04,643
Then why didn't you just say so?

2790
01:48:19,075 --> 01:48:21,619
CEDRIC: Turns out that my epiphany
had a domino effect.

2791
01:48:22,037 --> 01:48:26,165
Everyone was actually stepping up with
their women. For real this time.

2792
01:48:26,583 --> 01:48:28,876
CANDACE: I didn't get any of this.

2793
01:48:29,002 --> 01:48:30,127
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

2794
01:48:30,212 --> 01:48:33,339
Candace? Your mother tells me
that you're still single.

2795
01:48:33,507 --> 01:48:36,008
Don't worry about it, because
I think I have a solution.

2796
01:48:36,176 --> 01:48:38,802
I have somebody I think would be
perfect for you at my office.

2797
01:48:38,887 --> 01:48:39,929
Her name is Amy.

2798
01:48:40,096 --> 01:48:42,389
CANDACE'S MOM: Her? She's
not in that chapter.

2799
01:48:42,557 --> 01:48:43,933
Well, she might want to
read the book, honey.

2800
01:48:44,100 --> 01:48:45,434
Mom! Mom!

2801
01:48:46,686 --> 01:48:48,437
MICHAEL: Thanks, Duke. I got this.

2802
01:48:49,314 --> 01:48:51,232
Hi, ladies. Look at that face!

2803
01:48:51,316 --> 01:48:52,316
(MEOWS)

2804
01:48:52,400 --> 01:48:53,943
Nice to see you all.

2805
01:48:54,528 --> 01:48:56,654
What are you doing here? Isn't
today your mom's church thing?

2806
01:48:56,821 --> 01:48:57,988
Yeah, it is.

2807
01:48:58,156 --> 01:48:59,365
So, what? Did it get canceled?

2808
01:48:59,533 --> 01:49:01,742
It did not. What's up with all
these damn questions, woman?

2809
01:49:01,910 --> 01:49:03,786
I just thought you needed to be there.

2810
01:49:03,954 --> 01:49:07,122
Why would I be there when
I should be here,

2811
01:49:07,290 --> 01:49:09,083
with the number one woman in my life?

2812
01:49:09,251 --> 01:49:10,709
So, since you're thinking so much,

2813
01:49:10,877 --> 01:49:12,670
why don't you think about putting
a burger on that plate

2814
01:49:12,754 --> 01:49:13,796
with some pickles and some mustard?

2815
01:49:14,172 --> 01:49:15,548
I'm sorry,

2816
01:49:17,300 --> 01:49:20,219
did you just say "number one"?

2817
01:49:20,595 --> 01:49:23,097
Oh, so you're not believing?
Hold on one second.

2818
01:49:23,265 --> 01:49:25,599
Ladies and gentlemen? Excuse me?

2819
01:49:25,767 --> 01:49:29,395
Hi, I need everybody's attention,
please? Hey, everybody... Yeah.

2820
01:49:29,563 --> 01:49:30,729
Thank you.

2821
01:49:30,897 --> 01:49:34,650
My name is Michael Hanover,
and I want you all to know

2822
01:49:34,818 --> 01:49:39,738
I am madly, and I am insanely
in love with Candace Hall.

2823
01:49:41,616 --> 01:49:44,618
And I just want everybody
in the world to know

2824
01:49:44,953 --> 01:49:47,496
that she's the number
one woman in my life.

2825
01:49:47,914 --> 01:49:49,790
Thanks, everybody. (ALL CHEERING)

2826
01:49:49,958 --> 01:49:51,667
Aw, Candace! MICHAEL: Now
back to the reunion!

2827
01:49:56,172 --> 01:49:57,256
Whoo!

2828
01:50:00,010 --> 01:50:01,343
Is that okay with you?

2829
01:50:02,929 --> 01:50:04,847
What do you want on your damn burger?

2830
01:50:05,473 --> 01:50:08,392
I don't give a damn, girl.
I came for you. Come here.

2831
01:50:15,233 --> 01:50:17,901
CEDRIC: And so, the book ended
happily for all of us.

2832
01:50:18,361 --> 01:50:20,946
Well, almost all of us.

2833
01:50:21,114 --> 01:50:22,990
Hey, girl. Haven't seen you in a while.

2834
01:50:23,158 --> 01:50:25,743
I know. I'm sorry, I've been swamped.

2835
01:50:25,827 --> 01:50:26,827
So what are you up to later today?

2836
01:50:27,037 --> 01:50:30,039
Actually, I have a date with
James, finally. Ah.

2837
01:50:30,206 --> 01:50:32,750
Between his CEO and my COO,

2838
01:50:32,834 --> 01:50:34,293
it seems we never see each other.

2839
01:50:34,377 --> 01:50:35,461
What else is new?

2840
01:50:35,545 --> 01:50:37,504
Anyway. You got any plans for later?

2841
01:50:37,589 --> 01:50:40,799
Actually, the three of us are going
to Dominic's grand opening.

2842
01:50:43,470 --> 01:50:46,263
Oh. He found a backer for his restaurant?

2843
01:50:46,431 --> 01:50:49,016
No. He got a personal loan for
a food truck. It's called...

2844
01:50:49,184 --> 01:50:50,392
Avenue D.

2845
01:50:50,560 --> 01:50:53,896
It's in Pueblo Plaza. He wants to
start small, build his way up.

2846
01:50:54,064 --> 01:50:55,856
Good for him, you know?

2847
01:50:57,359 --> 01:50:58,692
Anyway, have fun tonight.

2848
01:50:58,860 --> 01:51:00,110
Oh, we will.

2849
01:51:03,281 --> 01:51:04,448
Thank you.

2850
01:51:04,908 --> 01:51:06,325
So, James, how was your day?

2851
01:51:06,493 --> 01:51:09,036
It was good. Actually, it
was... It was great.

2852
01:51:09,120 --> 01:51:11,747
Did I mention to you that The Wall Street
Journal is doing a feature on me?

2853
01:51:11,831 --> 01:51:12,956
Yes, the...

2854
01:51:13,041 --> 01:51:14,667
"Wonderkid." Yeah, I know. (LAUGHS)

2855
01:51:14,834 --> 01:51:15,918
"The Wonderkid."

2856
01:51:16,086 --> 01:51:17,544
I know I'm not exactly a kid,

2857
01:51:17,629 --> 01:51:20,255
but I am the youngest CEO
of a Fortune 500 company.

2858
01:51:20,423 --> 01:51:21,548
Yes, we talked...

2859
01:51:21,633 --> 01:51:23,592
Now I'm focusing my sights
on the Far East.

2860
01:51:23,677 --> 01:51:26,303
I was talking to Warren the other
day. You know Warren Buffett?

2861
01:51:26,471 --> 01:51:27,721
Dub-Beezy, that's my man.

2862
01:51:28,181 --> 01:51:30,516
(VOICE ECHOING) He was telling
me about diversification.

2863
01:51:31,935 --> 01:51:36,730
So, I bought a G6. Okay, all right.
The company bought a G6.

2864
01:51:36,898 --> 01:51:38,565
(VOICE FADING) New York to Los
Angeles costs about $60,000.

2865
01:51:38,650 --> 01:51:39,942
They put that down every time I go.

2866
01:51:40,110 --> 01:51:41,527
Also talked to my man,
Kobe, the other day.

2867
01:51:41,611 --> 01:51:43,612
He was trying to get me to
buy an NBA franchise.

2868
01:51:44,072 --> 01:51:46,281
I'm fine, James.

2869
01:51:47,826 --> 01:51:49,076
Thanks for asking.

2870
01:51:51,621 --> 01:51:53,163
I'm sorry, I don't understand.

2871
01:51:53,331 --> 01:51:54,790
I know.

2872
01:51:56,876 --> 01:51:59,837
I know, but I finally do.

2873
01:52:01,506 --> 01:52:03,090
(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

2874
01:52:03,174 --> 01:52:05,259
♪ Ritual union's

2875
01:52:05,510 --> 01:52:09,096
♪ Got me in trouble again ♪

2876
01:52:09,264 --> 01:52:11,181
All right, all right, all right.

2877
01:52:11,266 --> 01:52:12,433
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

2878
01:52:14,436 --> 01:52:15,519
All right, a little something.

2879
01:52:15,603 --> 01:52:16,687
Just a little sample for the ladies.

2880
01:52:16,771 --> 01:52:17,813
Fellas, I'll get you back later.

2881
01:52:17,897 --> 01:52:19,022
Come on, Dom!

2882
01:52:19,107 --> 01:52:21,775
Give that to the wife. To your lady,
okay, good, there you go.

2883
01:52:22,110 --> 01:52:24,611
All right, one more? There
you go, there you go, J.

2884
01:52:24,696 --> 01:52:26,029
I'll be right back. Thanks for coming.

2885
01:52:26,114 --> 01:52:27,364
I'll be right back. This is amazing.

2886
01:52:29,909 --> 01:52:31,118
DOMINIC: Next!

2887
01:52:32,036 --> 01:52:33,245
I'll take the Chef's Special.

2888
01:52:33,413 --> 01:52:34,747
Is that with chicken or...

2889
01:52:34,914 --> 01:52:35,998
Hey, back of the line.

2890
01:52:36,082 --> 01:52:37,791
Look, this is personal, not business.

2891
01:52:37,959 --> 01:52:39,418
Move your arm!

2892
01:52:41,129 --> 01:52:42,379
Congratulations.

2893
01:52:42,547 --> 01:52:43,839
Looks like a huge success.

2894
01:52:44,924 --> 01:52:46,800
I wasn't expecting you.

2895
01:52:46,968 --> 01:52:48,677
I couldn't miss your grand opening.

2896
01:52:49,053 --> 01:52:50,179
COOK: Live bass ceviche?

2897
01:52:50,305 --> 01:52:52,014
Sal, those two lasagnas are to-go.

2898
01:52:52,515 --> 01:52:53,807
SAL: You got it.

2899
01:52:54,934 --> 01:52:56,143
So, where's your CEO?

2900
01:52:56,770 --> 01:52:58,061
I ended that.

2901
01:52:58,480 --> 01:52:59,646
Dominic!

2902
01:52:59,773 --> 01:53:03,275
He may have all the money in the
world, and all the power,

2903
01:53:03,443 --> 01:53:05,486
but he doesn't have half
your potential. Stop!

2904
01:53:05,653 --> 01:53:07,112
Stop.

2905
01:53:07,572 --> 01:53:10,240
I don't need you to do that for
me anymore. I'm doing me, now.

2906
01:53:10,408 --> 01:53:11,617
All right?

2907
01:53:12,285 --> 01:53:14,661
Thanks for coming, but I
got a business to run.

2908
01:53:14,746 --> 01:53:16,747
I'm sure you can respect that, right?

2909
01:53:17,916 --> 01:53:19,666
But I was... Next!

2910
01:53:25,048 --> 01:53:27,591
What's good here, man? Do you
have a low-fat Pork Special?

2911
01:53:28,092 --> 01:53:29,635
Sure. Let's roll with it.

2912
01:53:30,470 --> 01:53:32,179
Dominic?

2913
01:53:33,181 --> 01:53:35,182
Excuse me. What are you doing?

2914
01:53:35,433 --> 01:53:37,184
I want you back, Dominic.

2915
01:53:40,313 --> 01:53:41,772
Guys, just give me a minute, please.

2916
01:53:41,856 --> 01:53:43,023
We gotta finish this up. I know.

2917
01:53:43,191 --> 01:53:44,566
I'm sorry.

2918
01:53:46,528 --> 01:53:48,654
What are you doing? I want you back.

2919
01:53:48,822 --> 01:53:51,448
Yeah, listen, I'm not an acquisition.
You can't just decide...

2920
01:53:51,616 --> 01:53:54,243
I'm asking. Oh, yeah? And I'm
asking for some service.

2921
01:53:54,410 --> 01:53:57,162
You'll get your pork sausage,
Porky! Beat it!

2922
01:54:01,167 --> 01:54:03,794
Lauren, listen, we're just
too different, okay?

2923
01:54:03,962 --> 01:54:07,464
Yes, we are different. But I
think that's a good thing.

2924
01:54:07,632 --> 01:54:10,092
What you need is status. You need titles.

2925
01:54:10,176 --> 01:54:12,219
I don't care about... No, I don't.

2926
01:54:12,303 --> 01:54:16,515
What I need is a man who makes
me feel like I'm special.

2927
01:54:16,766 --> 01:54:18,600
I don't care about his title,

2928
01:54:18,685 --> 01:54:20,435
and I don't care how much money you make,

2929
01:54:20,603 --> 01:54:23,772
I don't care what kind of car
you drive. I just need you.

2930
01:54:23,940 --> 01:54:26,608
Please? I'm sorry.

2931
01:54:30,280 --> 01:54:32,489
I think ultimately we want
different things.

2932
01:54:32,657 --> 01:54:33,866
No.

2933
01:54:34,617 --> 01:54:35,951
I disagree.

2934
01:54:37,954 --> 01:54:40,664
I think we want the exact same thing.

2935
01:54:42,041 --> 01:54:43,500
What's that?

2936
01:54:44,586 --> 01:54:45,919
Well, first,

2937
01:54:47,297 --> 01:54:50,132
I would like to have my Chef's
Special, hold the pork.

2938
01:54:58,683 --> 01:55:03,896
♪ Baby, tonight's the night I let you know

2939
01:55:03,980 --> 01:55:07,065
♪ Baby, tonight's the night
we lose control ♪

2940
01:55:07,150 --> 01:55:08,317
(CHEERING)

2941
01:55:09,444 --> 01:55:12,029
Go, Dom! All right, come on,
man, that's enough kissing.

2942
01:55:12,113 --> 01:55:13,238
Grab her ass or something.

2943
01:55:13,323 --> 01:55:14,364
That's my girl!

2944
01:55:14,449 --> 01:55:17,117
Show me something, God! Give me something
to think about tonight.

2945
01:55:17,243 --> 01:55:18,577
You know I haven't had much sex.

2946
01:55:18,661 --> 01:55:20,245
Me and Gail ain't really doing
it like we used to.

2947
01:55:20,413 --> 01:55:21,747
Really, Cedric?

2948
01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:22,873
Come on, now.

2949
01:55:22,957 --> 01:55:24,791
Get your little ass over here, now!

2950
01:55:24,959 --> 01:55:26,168
Hey, Gail, I was talking...

2951
01:55:26,336 --> 01:55:28,503
ZEKE: Pull your pants up, Cedric!

2952
01:55:31,049 --> 01:55:32,799
(CEDRIC SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)

2953
01:55:34,135 --> 01:55:35,928
I'll get the guy in the purple.

2954
01:55:36,095 --> 01:55:38,013
Hi, I'm Bennett. Use our ball?

2955
01:55:40,058 --> 01:55:42,059
I'll see you on the court! Save it...

2956
01:55:42,143 --> 01:55:43,268
Save it for the game, though!

2957
01:55:43,436 --> 01:55:45,270
LISA: Listen, little man.
Where's your twin?

2958
01:55:45,355 --> 01:55:46,605
You're gonna need somebody
on your shoulders.

2959
01:55:46,689 --> 01:55:48,357
Oh, that's funny. That's real funny.

2960
01:55:48,441 --> 01:55:50,108
Let's see if it's funny when
my balls are on your back!

2961
01:55:51,819 --> 01:55:53,820
MAN: Ball's in play. Let's go. Oh, shit.

2962
01:55:54,322 --> 01:55:55,447
(CRASHING)

2963
01:55:55,531 --> 01:55:57,866
♪ You said, "Every king
needs his queen, babe"

2964
01:55:58,993 --> 01:56:00,577
♪ That's why you needed me baby

2965
01:56:00,662 --> 01:56:02,079
MAN: Pass the ball, man!

2966
01:56:02,830 --> 01:56:04,456
♪ There was us there was trust

2967
01:56:04,540 --> 01:56:08,669
♪ There was happen and change I know

2968
01:56:08,753 --> 01:56:11,129
♪ Silly you, silly me silly
us, what a waste

2969
01:56:11,214 --> 01:56:12,547
You gonna play some defense?

2970
01:56:13,841 --> 01:56:15,175
(GRUNTS) Wait, wait, wait!

2971
01:56:15,718 --> 01:56:16,843
Pass!

2972
01:56:17,929 --> 01:56:19,054
Huh? Huh?

2973
01:56:20,598 --> 01:56:22,182
MAN: Just shoot the ball.

2974
01:56:23,893 --> 01:56:26,144
You better get that out of here,
little man. You all right?

2975
01:56:26,229 --> 01:56:28,063
Hey, no making fun.

2976
01:56:33,111 --> 01:56:34,361
Good shot.

2977
01:56:34,612 --> 01:56:36,405
Good shot? It was!

2978
01:56:36,572 --> 01:56:38,031
Bennett, be a man and push him!

2979
01:56:38,116 --> 01:56:39,199
It was a good shot.

2980
01:56:41,703 --> 01:56:46,289
♪ Now I'm gonna keep it realer
with you now than I ever been

2981
01:56:46,374 --> 01:56:49,209
♪ We should have never been
girl we was better friends

2982
01:56:49,293 --> 01:56:52,004
♪ You didn't have to tell me
what, where, why and when

2983
01:56:52,088 --> 01:56:53,839
♪ Ooh, why I didn't need it Cause
you wasn't my girlfriend

2984
01:56:53,923 --> 01:56:55,257
Pick on someone your own size, man.

2985
01:56:55,675 --> 01:56:57,217
♪ We had a good thing

2986
01:56:57,427 --> 01:56:58,719
Oh, my knee!

2987
01:56:58,886 --> 01:57:00,345
♪ Ooh give me that good thing

2988
01:57:00,430 --> 01:57:01,513
♪ Then after we was finished

2989
01:57:01,597 --> 01:57:04,016
♪ You go your way I go
my way it was whatever

2990
01:57:04,100 --> 01:57:05,892
♪ Tell me what in the hell makes...

2991
01:57:06,519 --> 01:57:08,020
Hey, hey, hey!

2992
01:57:08,271 --> 01:57:09,813
Man, you better calm down.

2993
01:57:09,981 --> 01:57:11,898
He put his balls on my head.

2994
01:57:12,775 --> 01:57:17,404
♪ But in love, love, love ♪

2995
01:57:17,488 --> 01:57:18,989
Where's my help on defense?

2996
01:57:22,827 --> 01:57:23,952
Get out of here!

2997
01:57:26,164 --> 01:57:27,372
Bennett! Jeremy!

2998
01:57:27,457 --> 01:57:28,749
I'm trying to get my ball back!

2999
01:57:28,833 --> 01:57:30,208
Can I have the ball, please?

3000
01:57:30,293 --> 01:57:32,210
Just let them keep it. Let them keep it.

3001
01:57:33,421 --> 01:57:35,005
Thanks, you guys! Go get that.

3002
01:57:35,173 --> 01:57:37,174
Hey, we play here every Thursday.

3003
01:57:37,341 --> 01:57:39,009
That wasn't that bad.

3004
01:57:39,177 --> 01:57:40,552
Think about it.

3005
01:57:41,512 --> 01:57:42,846
Well, I think it was a good time.

3006
01:57:42,930 --> 01:57:45,265
It's all about the exercise, guys.

3007
01:57:46,350 --> 01:57:48,769
♪ Ain't this what you came for

3008
01:57:49,270 --> 01:57:51,104
♪ Don't you wish you came more?

3009
01:57:51,981 --> 01:57:53,899
♪ Girl what you're playing for?

3010
01:57:55,359 --> 01:57:56,943
♪ Come on

3011
01:57:57,028 --> 01:57:58,945
♪ Come on, let me kiss that

3012
01:57:59,739 --> 01:58:02,240
♪ Ooh, I know you miss that

3013
01:58:02,325 --> 01:58:05,660
♪ What's wrong? Let me fix that Twist that

3014
01:58:05,995 --> 01:58:11,208
♪ Baby, tonight's the night I let you know

3015
01:58:11,292 --> 01:58:16,546
♪ Baby, tonight's the
night we lose control

3016
01:58:16,631 --> 01:58:22,427
♪ Baby tonight, you need that
tonight, believe that

3017
01:58:22,512 --> 01:58:28,308
♪ Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had

3018
01:58:29,977 --> 01:58:32,395
♪ I don't wanna brag

3019
01:58:32,480 --> 01:58:34,272
♪ But I'll be

3020
01:58:35,858 --> 01:58:39,778
♪ The best you ever had

3021
01:58:40,530 --> 01:58:42,989
♪ I don't wanna brag

3022
01:58:43,074 --> 01:58:44,991
♪ But I'll be

3023
01:58:46,369 --> 01:58:50,330
♪ The best you ever had

3024
01:58:50,414 --> 01:58:52,916
♪ I hit you with the best throw

3025
01:58:53,000 --> 01:58:55,585
♪ Freestyle and the breaststroke

3026
01:58:55,670 --> 01:58:58,505
♪ Till you're blowing cigarette smoke

3027
01:58:58,589 --> 01:59:01,091
♪ And now the bed's broke

3028
01:59:01,175 --> 01:59:04,261
♪ So what we gonna do now?

3029
01:59:04,345 --> 01:59:06,263
♪ Round two now

3030
01:59:06,347 --> 01:59:08,557
♪ Work it out then we cool down

3031
01:59:08,641 --> 01:59:09,933
♪ Cool down

3032
01:59:10,017 --> 01:59:14,521
♪ Baby, tonight's the night I let you know

3033
01:59:14,605 --> 01:59:15,856
♪ Baby, tonight

3034
01:59:15,940 --> 01:59:20,610
♪ Baby, tonight's the
night we lose control

3035
01:59:20,695 --> 01:59:23,864
♪ Baby, tonight you need that

3036
01:59:23,948 --> 01:59:26,324
♪ Tonight believe that

3037
01:59:26,409 --> 01:59:32,205
♪ Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had

3038
01:59:33,958 --> 01:59:36,418
♪ I don't wanna brag

3039
01:59:36,502 --> 01:59:38,461
♪ But I'll be

3040
01:59:39,130 --> 01:59:43,675
♪ The best you ever had

3041
01:59:44,594 --> 01:59:47,012
♪ I don't wanna brag

3042
01:59:47,096 --> 01:59:49,472
♪ But I'll be

3043
01:59:50,558 --> 01:59:53,602
♪ The best you ever had ♪

3045
01:59:54,000 --> 01:59:57,058