CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
Tonight, a very exciting show for me,
because I get to fulfil a proper bucket-list ambition of mine.
You finally got your Greggs gold card.
No, not that. No?
Did you read a book? Don't go mad! Don't go mad.
Tonight's the night I become a proper trucker.
Yes, we're kicking off by talking about HGVs.
PADDY HONKS
That's...me impression of an HGV.
Yes, we are, Pad. Thank you.
Because, as you may have heard,
Britain is in the grip of an HGV crisis.
There's not enough drivers to get the stuff we need
to the places it needs to go.
But what does it take to be an HGV driver?
We decided to do some trucking research and find out.
PADDY: Because there's no better way to learn than "in at the deep end"
our mission to become fully fledged HGV drivers
would start in the sensibly wide-open space...
..of Leeds East Airfield,
where the producers had blagged a couple of colourful examples
to see what we'd make of 'em.
Hey, the big leagues.
Look at these. The big leagues.
Have you driven one of these before?
Never dri... I've driven a 22-tonne dump truck. Right.
But I've never been behind the wheel of an HGV.
And me dad was an HGV driver. Was he?
Oh yeah. The romance of it. Did he let you pull the...?
HE HONKS
Oh, all that. I'm all over it. So... I cannot...
I think everyone growing up wants to drive a lorry.
I'm nervous about it. You're nervous? Yeah.
This is the ideal vehicle for you.
Your trouble is you've been getting into little sports cars
and everything, you've not... This is you now.
This is you. And as well, might I add, I've spotted mine.
"McGuinness."
Do you know what? I can't even argue, can I?
That's got you on.
Mine's called Lynda!
Hey, do you know what...what's missing here? What?
The little fella. Yeah.
But... How's he gonna get in?
Exactly! How's he gonna get in? Exactly!
Oh, here we go.
Oh-ho-ho-ho! Come on, get in.
Oh, there's a bed and everything!
Oh, look at... What the hell's this?
This can't be right, this.
Oh! This is good.
Oh, seat belt. What's going on? Come on.
Why's that not coming down now?
Oh, there we go. That's better.
Ooh, ooh. Look!
Come on. Don't do this to me.
This seat belt's... Me seat belt's stuck.
ON RADIO: Ah, good buddy, ten-four.
I'm having a bit of trouble with me seat belt.
Has yours locked up as well? I can't get mine out.
I didn't see Kris Kristofferson having this problem in Convoy.
I'm wondering if you've gotta turn the engine on, Fred, first.
ENGINE STARTS
Hey!
Oh!
ON SPEAKER: We've done it! We've cracked it!
Right, come on. Handbrake's off.
Is that off?
Oh!
I'm moving, Pad.
Oh, hang on.
We're trucking, young buddy!
If me dad could see me now. Go on!
It's so long at the back. I keep looking.
I don't know where the back is.
I've driven everything on Top Gear,
from £1,000 bangers to £4 million supercars,
and this tops the lot.
I've gotta say, Fred, I've got the biggest grin on my face.
This is fantastic.
What gear are you in?
I "think" third.
Well, if the early signs were anything to go by...
What gear's that?
..we were natural-born truckers.
GEAR CRUNCHES
which was just as well, because it turned out someone else
had been busy sneaking in his own early practice.
'Ey up - I can spy another rig.
Not that it mattered.
BLEEP! Where's the brake pedal? Sh...
Bit sharp on the brake, but...
What did matter, now we were all together,
were a couple of crucial bits of trucking business.
Right, now, before we go, I've got a little app on me phone
for your official CB call name, your trucker name.
OK, Chris, we'll start with you.
So it's your initials, CH, so C...
..Chopper!
H... Hog.
Chopper Hog. That's you.
Right, here's mine. P...
..Professor.
Moose. Professor Moose.
Right, Fred, now I'm gonna give you the option here.
Do you wanna start with F or A?
Let's try A first. I'll go for me Sunday name, Andrew.
Admiral.
I chose well.
F...
So you are Admiral Fiddler.
I am not having that. I am not having that!
You've just made my entire year, McGuinness.
Admiral Fiddler!
No!
Official naming ceremony done with, next on the trucking to-do list
was the obligatory drag race.
And since Sean Taylor also seemed to be a racing enthusiast,
Harris had to perform.
Now, my brief experience of this vehicle,
I was told not to hurry the gearbox.
I'm gonna be slow gear shifts, and use the torque.
STARTER: Standing by.
In three, two, one...
I've stalled it. I've stalled it.
Oh-ho!
STARTER: Standing by to go in three, two, one.
Go!
Yeah! Here we go.
Oh! We've done 'em!
Oh, Paddy's off.
Breaker one-nine. Breaker one-nine.
We've got a big rubber duck.
FREDDIE'S ENGINE SPLUTTERS
Ooh, that's not right.
Oh!
He's got... McGuinness has got a much bigger engine than me.
What is going on here?
I'm coming up on Paddy now.
Oh! Yeah, we're going, we're going, we're going!
A bit too soon, Fred. Watch me go, boys! Look at this!
Oh, God, no! He's back on me!
Damn you, Harris!
Oh-ho-ho! Ho-ho-ho-ho!
Oh, I was in the wrong gear!
We're flying, me and the Scania.
Come on! Come on!
Not a chance, Fiddler. Not a chance.
Admiral, it is. Admiral!
Look at that! It's a massive victory!
Well, lads, I don't know what to say. That was an annihilation.
Did you stall on the line, Paddy? I can't remember.
Did you? Was it you or was it Chris?
Yeah, I don't think I stalled. Did you stall, Fred?
No, I didn't. I just got in it and did it!
Now, if you're thinking that, in the world of HGVs,
a drag race is about as irrelevant as it gets,
then it's just as well this next bit was much more important.
Horn.
I wanna hear your horns. Let's go, lads. Fred horn first.
DEEP BLAST
It's like the QE2.
HORN CONTINUES
McGuinness, let's hear yours.
DAINTY TOOT
What's that?! What's that? "Meep!"
PADDY TOOTS
Gotta be honest, that's ruined the day for me.
Right, lads, here we go.
LOUD, MELODIC BLARE
Oh!
HORN CONTINUES
That's proper!
FREDDIE GROANS
And to make sure we'd turned over every page
of the HGV driver's playbook, we still needed to test precision.
So, in the time it took to lay out a few cones,
we had ourselves a reversing race.
First to back up into their bay is king of the big rigs.
STARTER: Three, two... Come on.
...one, go.
Oh, oh, oh.
Right, we've got this.
Here we go.
Straight back.
I can't really see down the side of it.
I'm making the turn.
Left hand down. Left hand down.
Ho-ho-ho. This is tricky!
Oh, God. I'm all over the place.
I'm gonna go forwards again.
Whoa!
You've cut me off, Fred.
I can promise you
it's not intentional.
I'll straighten it out. This is awful!
Come on. Come on, Harris.
PADDY: You're in my bay, you clown.
CHRIS LAUGHS
Come on. Come on.
Get out of me bay!
I'm in, I'm in.
I'm in.
I'm in. I'm in. I'm in, boys!
How am I supposed to get in?
It doesn't matter cos I've already won.
You've won because I've had to wait cos that...
...gormless get cut me off and then went in my bay!
DEEP HORN BLAST
I'm blocking him in.
LOUD, COMMANDING HORN
I tell you, you'd be causing murder at Moto services,
you here, Paddy.
You OK, Patrick?
That'll teach you for taking my bay!
What's happened?
You literally cut me off and parked in me bay!
This ain't... Nobody said...
That's yours, that's his, that's mine!
Nobody said, "That's my bay."
They did...
Now, at this point, it was suggested to us that,
if we were ever to become real-life HGV drivers,
we should probably get a few lessons,
so we all booked in on an intensive training course,
and set out to get our licences as soon as possible.
Oh, yes!
One qualified truck driver at your service.
You are now looking at a graduate from
the HGV University. Ho-ho! Nothing can stop me now.
And as the newest member of the HGV Club,
I was ready to take my place
alongside the great hauliers of Britain.
Look, look, there's one there. Look at that.
I can drive that!
I am driving that. I'm driving this.
It's just bonkers!
HORN HONKS
Ah-ha-ha! Who's this I spy?
Here we go, Mr McGuinness.
Fully certified and ready to truck.
This feels very grown-up indeed.
I tell you what, little Chopper,
get yourself up in front, son.
Go on, tuck in there.
Just one more for a full house.
The Admiral reporting for duty, sir.
Hello, the Admiral!
Go on, lead us out, son.
PADDY CHUCKLES
Oh, yes, we had ourselves a convoy.
Come on, then, lads, time to own up.
On your HGV test,
how many minor faults?
Just one for me.
Two for the Professor. Three.
What were yours for, Chris? Not reaching the pedals?
What about the theory? First time?
A first-time pass for the Professor,
but that was just a given.
Well played, Pad. I must admit, second time for me.
What about the Chopper?
I technically passed
the first time that I took the examination.
Explain, Christopher.
The first time, I didn't have my licence with me
and they sent me home.
I drove four hours to London and they sent me home.
CHUCKLES
It's a cursory lesson
to everyone out there - follow the rules.
And as I'm realising with the whole world of trucking,
it's a more grown-up world than driving a car, isn't it?
Oh, yes, it is,
especially when you're driving
the world's most powerful truck.
Welcome to the Scania 770S,
the big dog of the trucking world.
770 horsepower and a turbo-charged 16-litre V8.
What I'm driving here
is the Bugatti Chiron of the trucking world.
Ohhh...
The envious looks I get off the other truckers!
They all want to be behind the wheel of the big ol' Scania.
Do they, though?
Because when you're hauling serious miles,
real truckers know that comfort is king.
You're a trucker, you're in this for hours and hours every day.
You don't need 700 horsepower,
what you need is space,
somewhere to stretch out.
This is the biggest, most spacious,
most comfortable cab money can buy.
This is the DAF XG+,
the Rolls-Royce Phantom of the trucking world.
I've gone tech.
This is the new Mercedes-Benz Actros,
and it really is the Tomorrow's World of HGVs.
All the tech you see here, the camera mirrors,
all the screens,
all the self-driving help for the HGV driver,
it's going to percolate down
into HGVs over the next five years.
I am driving, quite literally, the future.
In fact, forget Actros,
this is the Mercedes S-Class of the trucking world.
And I tell you what,
it's naffing comfortable and very, very quiet.
So, three proper truckers in three proper trucks.
It was just as well that we'd been given
our first trucking mission.
Each of our trailers had been loaded
with a mystery cargo that we'd have to deliver
to the south coast of Wales by early the next morning.
And that meant we had plenty of time
to squeeze in that new trucker's rite of passage,
taking a break at a good old-fashioned truck stop.
I tell you what, they look well,
the three of them together, don't they?
They do.
I can't believe you boys haven't embraced
the trucking attire.
That's not trucking attire!
It is!
Can we walk in a bit behind him?
The thing is, though, truck stops these days...
This is way too nice!
...aren't quite as old-fashioned as you'd think.
Oh...
Oh, very nice.
Chris? Yes?
I don't want to stereotype truckers,
but I didn't realise they wore cufflinks.
I know. This is...
This is... This is next-gen.
Hello, I'm sorry to ask, but do you do
an oat-milk latte? I do.
MILK FROTHING
Hey!
They only do the oat-milk lattes!
Do they? I can't believe it!
I've got to say...
...this isn't what I expected.
I thought it was going to be a greasy-spoon job.
No, this is... This is proper.
I tell you, I'm spoilt for choice.
Buy a TV!
Look at this, here! Pillows!
What tractors do you drive, anyhow?
I've got the Scania. The Scania R450.
Ooh. I'm a 770S man.
Ooh, Scania's quick. It is quick.
They've got some really nice ratchet straps here.
I'm thinking of doing a big shop.
Very civilised. This is lovely.
Lads, if this is trucking, I'm in.
This is a nice coffee. If this is trucking, I'm in!
That's a lovely coffee.
I can't understand why there's a shortage in the industry.
What a way to live! Best job ever.
And, once we'd fully brimmed
on foamy milk and freshly baked goods...
...back on the road,
we were soon discovering that real-world trucking comes
with even more unexpected perks.
I tell you one thing all car drivers
would appreciate about trucks -
the windscreen wipers are fantastic.
They just give you the cleanest, crispest wipe -
for want of a better phrase.
And the washers.
Watch this.
Look at that!
Just...perfect sweeping!
Joyous! I love a good wiper.
Do you know what else is lovely about driving these trucks?
When you're driving past cars,
you can have a good nosey down at inside the cab.
You get a glimpse into someone's life, don't you,
when you look into the car from this angle?
Each to their own.
I'm easily pleased.
CHUCKLES
And it turns out so are the producers...
...because since we were making such effortless progress,
they'd decided it was time to see who had really come out
top of the trucking class.
And that meant making a stop at an RAF base.
Lads, that looks like two helicopters.
That's a wide load, that is!
Yes, it was.
To test our precision truck-driving skills,
we'd now take turns towing
an inconveniently arranged pair of helicopters
through a twisty slalom course.
With a time penalty for any gates clipped,
the cleanest, fastest run would win,
which meant I'd need to summon all 625 horsepower
from the mighty Mercedes 15.6-litre straight six.
Yeah, before I set off, and in advance of you doing it,
I can tell you
that the old camera mirrors weren't designed for this!
BOTH LAUGH
Well, good luck.
Three, two, one, go!
Hoh! Ho-hooo!
That's a slow start.
Wowsers!
Why's he going so slow? I don't know.
Towing two helicopters. I'm not aware of the weight.
I've got over 2,000 foot-pound of torque.
That's a penalty. The state of it!
Is that about the middle?
Oh, he's panicking. Oh, here we go.
This is him now. Oh, he's at an angle.
Oh, it's at an angle, that, as well. Look at it!
CLANG!
CHEERING
There we go. That's one over.
First one, bosh! Knocked it over.
I'm going to give it beans.
We're going to save some time. I'm giving it beans.
Go on, hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it, hit it!
He's got to get through this one.
Wah-ho!
Straight through at speed!
THEY GROAN That's disappointing.
I've got to say,
this place, like a penthouse.
It's lovely, innit? I tell you what,
you've not seen any of it. Absolutely fantastic!
Right, again, I'm going flat-out.
CLANG! Oh, hit that one.
Ohhh!
BOTH LAUGHING
Oh! I tell ya. Look at it all.
You've got everything... I could get into it.
Everything's digital. ...on screens. Apple CarPlay.
Have a try at the driving seat. How comfy?
CLANG!
Ohhhh! Oh, he's here!
He's back! We forgot about him!
Over the line! For glory!
That... Ohh! EXHALES
I tell you what, we loved that.
That bit you did down there and round the back?
Oh, fantastic.
Next, time to see what Flintoff could do
with 100 less horsepower in his DAF.
I've got to be honest, Fred, being back
in the old Scania, I'm a bit envious of yours.
I tell you what, the DAF is lovely, isn't it?
And what's that?
I can stand up.
I can stand up with my arms up.
This is my tummy out.
Here we go!
Three, two, one...
Go! Whoa...
Oh, I expected more off the line.
Foot's on the floor.
Now, let's watch him on the first bend, as per.
Now, this is where you caught one, Christopher.
I caught one on the right.
I'm just guessing. Just guessing.
CLANG!
Oh, same one!
He's knocked it over. Same one. So, there you go.
Oh, I tell you what,
it's a different beast with a bit of weight.
I've got to say, being in that DAF,
there's loads of room, all the tech on it.
The bed, it was electric...
Although I have got a fridge, here.
Can I show you me fridge?
Why have you got almond milk?
Oh, oh, oh, not too fast!
Oh, it's cutting in on me.
That wasn't me, that. It was braking for me.
Oh, he's winged that through, hasn't he?
Come on. Straight, straight, straight!
CLANG! Oh, no!
Knocked the last one. Ohhhh!
On the left, there!
HORN HONKS Ho-hooo!
Two down.
Well done, the Fiddler.
BOTH LAUGH
I am not the Fiddler. I'm the Admiral.
And I don't want a roof neither.
LAUGHTER
Finally, the Professor
in the world's most powerful truck.
You're under a bit of pressure here, Paddy,
with your 700 horsepower.
Watch the power.
OK, here we go!
Three, two, one, go!
Phwoar! Come on!
Whoa. Ooh.
Here we go.
CLANG!
He's clattered it.
I don't even know if I took one out or not.
I literally cannot see the end of these propellers.
Oh, he's through. He's through.
He's not getting through this one.
He's going to panic. Oh! Jesus, where am I?
Ho-ho!
The Scania might not be as luxurious inside,
but, by God, she can go.
Bosh!
Got to have made that through. He's through there!
He's through there. Ooh, he's through!
Whoa...!
Whoa!
We don't need this.
OK. It's always a better day when he doesn't win.
Go! Go! Go!
Oh, I took that quick.
CLANG! Ho-ho-ho! Hey-hey!
Oh, he's smashed that!
Yea-ah. Yeah!
Come on, the Scania!
Go on, son!
HORN HONKS
We're over.
I went for speed over precision.
It's an odd look seeing a man
wearing a cheap cowboy hat,
towing two helicopters
in the world's most powerful truck.
Welcome to the BBC!
Where the results were in.
Ah!
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Christopher Harris.
Ooh! Two minutes, 15 seconds,
and that's including
a 15-second penalty for three hits. Shoddy.
Freddie Flintoff...
...two minutes,
plus a ten-second penalty for two hits in the DAF.
But...
Oh, no... ...in first place, boys,
was there ever any doubt,
with the 770 horsepower of the Scania?
One minute, 47 seconds.
LOUD, COMMANDING HORN Plus a ten-second penalty
for the two hits.
Thank you, boys, giving me the big... I love that.
That's the truckers' salute.
They recognise...
They recognise a winner.
I've got to say, he might have been the slowest,
but Chris Harris wins for that horn.
Let's hear yours, Pad.
HIGH-PITCHED TOOT
Ohhhh! No!
LAUGHTER
700 horsepower and a little squeak!
No! No!
LOUD, COMMANDING HORN
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
You're thinking what? World Championship!
THEY LAUGH
Hey!
Trucking's in the blood, lads.
I was born to do it.
That Scania V8, what a machine!
Everywhere I went in that thing,
truckers would come over to me like, "Respect."
Respect. It was a beast of a thing, that, a beast.
I must say, I did like the comfort of the DAF.
That was some truck. And we found your motorsport, Pad.
Helicopter transportation.
I've found a niche, Fred.
And I'm going to fill it.
Can I say that on the telly? I think you just did.
I did, yeah!
Anyway, we'll get back to that film later in the show,
when things get a whole lot stormier.
But now, we must move on
to big Chrissie Harris and a very small car.
Yes, this is the Lotus Elise,
the back-to-basics British sports car that arrived in 1996
and has been on sale ever since.
Until now,
because Lotus has finally killed off the Elise
and, in its place, given us something completely new.
Straight out of Norfolk comes...
...the Emira.
And first impressions are,
it's not what you'd call ugly.
In fact, this two-seat, mid-engine sports car
looks a million dollars.
But thankfully, this Lotus doesn't cost $1 million,
or anything close.
The car I'm driving right now - 75 grand.
I know that's not chicken feed,
but you tell me anything near the same price
that is anything near as good.
There isn't one!
This is supercar looks for half the supercar price.
And it's from Norfolk.
I love it.
And the good news doesn't end there.
I hate the word, but look at it -
it's nice in here. It's pleasant.
I've got modern screens, I've got padding on the seats.
There's no water coming through the roof.
I'm not whacking my elbow against bits of metal.
This is bold new territory for Lotus.
Yes, on the road it's bigger than an Elise,
but, frankly, there are pencil cases
that are bigger than an Elise.
But I'm on a damp Welsh road,
and this is Lotus territory.
This car is sublime in these conditions.
It just glides over the surface.
It breathes with the road.
Lotus is better at making cars
for bumpy British roads than any other sports car company.
But it's not enough for this new Emira
just to do the business on the road. Lotus's history,
its very DNA,
is racing.
And that means
the Emira really has to do the business on the track...
...where at first glance you'd be forgiven
for thinking they've missed a trick.
The engine is a supercharged V6
with about 400 horsepower.
ENGINE ROARS
0-60 - four and a half seconds,
and over 180mph.
I know. Hardly tear-your-face-off quick
in this day and age.
The truth is, though, Lotus has never really been too obsessed
with those big numbers. Lotus's obsession
has always been what makes the difference
between a car that's good to drive
and a car that's great to drive.
The steering is just razor-sharp.
The front of the car follows the direction
exactly you want it to do.
Every other sports car maker now electric.
But Lotus has a hydraulic power steering rack purely for feel.
Boy, does it make a difference!
The steering on this car is sublime.
Especially as it's been paired with,
yes, that manual gearbox.
Lotus's founder, Colin Chapman,
always insisted that the gear lever be no more
than a hand's width away from the steering wheel.
And, look, in the Emira - perfection!
Perfection.
TYRES SCREECH
HE LAUGHS
For price and power,
this thing is bang on a Porsche Cayman rival.
And that is some stiff competition.
Would I really choose one of these over the Porsche?
Well, I think, as a road car,
the chassis is more comfortable in this.
It's probably got it licked.
And it looks better to my eyes as well.
I can make a very good argument for having one of these.
TYRES SCREECH
The Emira, then, looks great, it goes great,
it costs a not insane amount of money.
So what's the catch?
The catch is... this all-new Lotus
isn't quite so all new as Lotus would have you believe.
The engine, borrowed from Toyota -
basically the same as the one from the old Evora.
Same with the gearbox.
Under the skin,
this is the same old Lotus formula
wearing designer sunglasses and a fancy new scarf.
But you know what - that doesn't matter one bit.
The old Lotus formula was great.
You don't want your local chippy pivoting towards
Mongolian fusion cuisine, do you?
You want an honest lump of battered cod.
It might be an old recipe,
but it is still a classic.
I don't need more than 400 horsepower.
How fast can you actually go on the road?
You can enjoy more of a car like this...
...in more places, more often.
It's fit for Britain.
And we need to enjoy it while we can,
because the Emira might just be...
...the end of an era.
They say this is the last petrol-powered Lotus.
From here on in, it's electric.
I'm OK with that. Times change.
But when it is all electric, let's not forget
how good this car was.
I said last year
that this was one of the cars
I was most looking forward to driving in 2022.
So, does it live up to expectations?
Absolutely!
HE LAUGHS
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Do you know, I've got to say,
for the money, that is a beautiful car.
And it gets even better. This one that I drove -
75 grand.
Next year, there's going to be a cheaper one,
under 60 grand,
with a turbo-charged four-cylinder engine
from the Mercedes A 45 hot hatch.
I cannot wait to drive that one!
My problem with Lotuses...
I can never get in 'em. I'm too big.
You struggled with the HGV!
LAUGHTER
And I'm looking at this
thinking there might be a chance.
Do you mind if I...? Slip on in, Fred.
New idea for a show here, Pad. Can Fred Fit In It?
LAUGHTER
Ooh! No problem. I cannot believe it.
I thought we were gonna have to put lard
round the doorframes or summat like that.
It's like a TARDIS. It is.
I tell you what this is. I want one.
Are you enjoying it? Genuinely, I want one.
OK. All right. Well, while Fred makes himself comfy,
it's time to batten down the hatches
and get back to our big HGV adventure.
NEWS THEME MUSIC
NEWSREADER: BBC News at ten o'clock. This is Nick Quraishi.
The Met Office has issued a rare red weather warning
for parts of South West England and South Wales
tomorrow morning,
as Storm Eunice moves in from the Atlantic.
Our mighty convoy was closing in on Wales.
Look at this, boys!
But with our destination on the south coast
now within easy reach,
approaching the Severn
we were bracing ourselves
for another of trucking's rites of passage.
Feel it now, Chris. We're coming onto it.
I can feel the wind.
WIND GUSTS
HE CHUCKLES
HE LAUGHS
The back of your trailer's
having a little sway there, Chris.
Even though I'm getting blown around a bit,
the whole thing does feel very stable, though.
I don't feel I'm having to steer into it much.
What about you?
Not even deviated off the straight, this thing.
Truth be told,
our modern HGV masterpieces
weren't in the least bit bothered about the breeze.
Tell you what, though,
being this high up, the views are amazing.
But if you're starting to think
this trucking game might be for you,
it's worth mentioning that life isn't just about mega-machinery
and comfy cabs.
When you're a trucker,
your life is ruled by the tacho.
And I'm not on about the tasty Mexican snack either.
I'm on about this bit of kit up here.
That's a tachograph.
And a tachograph logs all your hours behind the wheel
to make sure you stick within the rules.
Rules like you've got nine hours of driving every day,
apart from twice a week, where you've got ten hours.
Then you've got 11 hours of consecutive rest,
apart from three times a week,
where it can be nine hours.
Then you've got 56 driving hours a week,
or no more than 90 hours every two weeks.
Oh, and every four and a half hours,
you've got to take a 45-minute break.
And trust me, if you don't know those rules,
they'll come down on you like a ton of Yorkies.
Of course, you do soon become familiar
with all the rules and regs.
You might even start to have a bit of fun.
OK, I'm coming past, Frederick. I'm coming past.
Oh, he's making a move. Go on, Chris,
I'll flash you in, Chris.
Not yet, not yet. Double flash, please.
In you come. In you come.
Tell you what, boys, we are making such good time,
I think we might need to head off
and find some proper, open trucking roads.
What do you reckon?
Well up for that.
But in the world of trucking,
it turns out nothing is straightforward...
...least of all when you leave the motorway behind.
Remember I told you
we were gonna find some nice open roads?
I'm not sure this is
what I had in mind, Chris, to be honest.
This is tight!
This is where I really admire seasoned truckers.
The way they navigate these small towns is very impressive.
You're testing our skills here, Christopher.
I feel like I'm on a constant hazard perception test.
That right-hander is hideous. Be careful.
Nice and wide, Paddy, lad. Nice and wide.
BYSTANDER: Go on, Paddy!
Driving through Abergavenny there,
if I'd have done that in a car, I'd have swore blind
you'd have never have got an HGV through there.
I mean, it is a bit tight, don't get me wrong,
but it's amazing the roads you can get along and through -
providing everyone moves out of the way.
Which, of course, you soon find they often don't.
Bit of a div parked his Kia right here
on a double yellow.
Where?
Bloomin' heck, it's tight round here.
Watch this little white car coming towards you an' all.
This is actually one of the advantages
of being at the back.
Jeez, that was tight. That wasn't fun there.
That was tense.
But stick with the trucking game long enough,
and every now and again you'll discover a little bit of magic.
Wales is beautiful. Look at those hills.
I've got to say, this is proper.
Welsh hills, sunshine's out,
and I've got over 600 horsepower.
What a recipe!
Genuinely strange, coming on all the roads that I've used
for 20 years to test supercars...in a truck.
It's really quite pleasant.
What a machine this is!
The DAF is loving it. Absolutely loving it.
Just skipping up the hills.
Tell you what, boys,
when we did the time trial before,
with the old helicopters on the back,
and you started having a go at me about me horn,
well, I've found a little button
in the Scania cab which turns the average horn
into a super-horn. Do you want to have a little listen?
Fire away.
HORN BLARES
Lovely stuff.
It is stunning, though. What a day to see it.
I know there's a bit of wind knocking about
but the sun's out. Beautiful.
It really was.
But as we climbed higher into the Brecon Beacons,
that "bit of wind knocking about"
was definitely getting stronger.
WIND GUSTS
Oh, it's blowing now!
Ho-ho, dear me!
Having to concentrate a bit harder now, aren't we?
They are amazing bits of engineering.
I know we're saying it's tough,
but just twirling a wheel, foot on the brake,
the vehicle does the rest.
Just incredible bits of engineering.
Although on a narrow, winding road,
in increasingly blustery conditions,
things soon become less incredible when one of those
"bits of engineering" comes the other way.
BLEEP!
Whoa!
That was horrible. Did you see that?
Literally that come from nowhere.
That was a close one, that.
And it was just another timely reminder
of what truck driving is really all about.
So much responsibility in driving one of these.
You've got to be on it all the time.
And you think about that
day after day after day after day.
This is hard graft.
Truckers watching this, they'll know what I'm on about.
I'm not sure I've got it in me, to be honest.
With the day drawing in and the weather deteriorating,
it was time to leave
the scenic detour behind.
The priority now was to get as close
to our final destination as we could...
..before this.
NEWSREADER: Storm Eunice hits the UK,
with powerful winds causing injury, damage and destruction.
Oh, my God!
For what's thought to be the first time ever,
both bridges here across the Severn Estuary have closed
because of the high winds.
Storm Eunice had been giving Britain a bashing.
And once the worst had passed,
how grateful we were to reach the end of the road.
Oh, there she is. Pembrey Circuit. We made it, boys.
I've had easier drives than that in me life.
A lot of sympathy for HGV drivers in these conditions. It's horrible.
But we weren't done yet,
because we had finally pulled up
at the home of Welsh motorsport,
where it turned out, all this time,
we'd been hauling everything we needed to go...
...truck racing.
With over 1,000 horsepower,
ten times the torque of your average supercar,
all reined in by enormous,
steam-billowing, water-cooled brakes,
these five-tonne,
rear-wheel-drive, custom-built monsters
are not for the faint of heart.
A typical race sees grids of up to 20 trucks
doing battle at speeds of 100mph.
And because on an unfamiliar track during
an extreme weather event,
diving straight into this kind of action
would be just plain stupid...
What a lovely day for a truck race!
...before giving it a go ourselves,
we'd generously been given a couple of laps
to get to grips...
...with our new rigs.
These things are huge.
Tell you what, though, it's exciting.
Here we go.
Pad, Pad, Pad, no, Pad!
CRASH!
Ohhh!
BLEEP!
These racing trucks are tough old birds.
And with no harm done...
...apart from that bit,
back at the pits, it was just a case of waiting
for Eunice to pepper the track with a hailstorm,
and then, apparently, it was time to go racing.
Here we go, little bit of damp on the road.
Practise, don't you, in the dry,
then it's hailstones and we're in the damp.
Oh, and just for good measure,
we'd be starting from the front of the grid.
Got to be honest, I...
...I'd have sooner have been at the back of the grid.
Now I've got the cast of Convoy hurtling past me.
Yes, truck racing traditionally plays out
in 15-minute bouts,
often using a reverse grid system.
Putting the slowest drivers at the front
is a good way to ensure
lots of high-octane action.
Never thought I'd do a formation lap behind
Flintoff and McGuinness.
Putting us lot at the front,
on the other hand, is madness.
Paddy, what you doing?
Formation, Pad.
Fred needs to get by the side of him.
What is Paddy doing?
This is the only time I'll be at the front.
So, I'm just enjoying it!
Here we go, lead car's pulling out.
Let's go.
Come on!
Ohhh, I'm all over the bloody shop.
Blooming heck, he's muscled me out already, Pad.
Let's try and get away from him.
This is sketchy.
I'll tell you what,
it's completely different in the wet.
Slow down.
Into the hairpin.
Whoooo-ho-ho!
Lost it.
Oh, Paddy's off again.
Can I get back out?
Oh, no!
No. Come on!
Paddy McGuinness is off.
Oh, absolutely devastated!
Just one minute into our 15-minute race...
It's a red flag.
It's a red flag!
...we'd all been told
to stop.
And while McGuinness's truck was recovered to safety,
we headed back to the grid,
ready to restart
from where we were sitting when the race was red-flagged.
That meant Harris was up front, I was in fourth,
and McGuinness would be at the back.
And I've got to be honest,
it feels nicer here. It feels a lot nicer.
Here we go. And we're away again.
So we now appear to be in P-1,
which in my experience
is exactly where you don't want to be for
a restart, cos you've just got a massive target on your back.
With 14 minutes left to survive...
Get your wipers on,
it's starting to rain.
...it was time to go racing again.
Bloody hell. I say it's better at the back,
but it actually feels worse.
Cor blimey,
look at the congestion here.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Dear me.
I've got someone right up my chuff now.
Oh, I went wide.
Oh, there's one coming up the inside there, he's got me.
Get the windscreens on, get the windscreens on.
I can barely see.
Ohh, got it back.
My word.
He's coming for me, he's coming for me.
I've got to cover that inside line.
This is tricky.
Jeez, come on, keep going.
Yes, Fred, that's better.
Not too fast round here. No, no, stay on.
As the minutes ticked away,
the midfield were gradually picking me off.
Going up me inside.
Keep going, Fred.
And it's safe to say me and McGuinness were really
just trying to bring our 150-grand racing rigs
back in one piece.
The windscreen wipers have gone. I can't see.
My word!
But up at the front,
Harris had spent most of his first-ever truck race
in the lead.
Come on!
And now, with just a few minutes left
to the chequered flag,
the fight for the podium was on.
Sliding everywhere now.
They've got a surprising amount of grip,
but if ever the grip goes away,
it's catastrophic.
No, no, no, no, no,
not this time. No, no, no, come on.
Get it back, get it back, get it back.
Get it back. Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Ohhh. Got it back.
Come on, old girl.
This big fella's coming through.
Come on!
Oh, a bit of a lock-up.
BLEEP! I let him through.
Whoa.
Didn't really think that was gonna happen.
Got thumped out the way.
Come on, keep going, keep working.
I can stay with them, but I can't catch them.
Bit of oversteer there.
P-3. I'll take that.
I'll take that.
Wow. Wonder where the others are.
There we go.
Tell you what,
concentrated so hard, jeez!
Woooo!
Wow, that was sketchy.
That...
...was trucking.
CHEERING
That was intense.
That was intense. It was, it was.
But, congratulations, Chris Harris,
a podium on your very first outing!
Go on, Chrissie!
CHEERING
They were not messing about.
I had many more love taps than I expected.
They were, they were aggressive. They really were.
So we set out to learn more about the trucking life.
We certainly did that. We got the full experience,
all the highs and all the lows.
We did indeed, and when everything's going well,
trucking's great. You're king of the road.
But as soon as the weather turns, it's a different story.
Oh, the wind.
Yeah, the wind, yeah.
Jeez. And it has changed how I see trucks on the road.
Now, every time I see one, I think, "Big respect."
Absolutely.
Yeah, hats off to the truckers, that is a tough job.
It is indeed, and if anyone wants
a couple of disused military helicopters shifting,
give us a call! That's it for tonight.
We'll be back next week, when Chris drives
a very fast Maserati,
Fred drives a very futuristic pick-up truck,
and I drive a cheap old Honda Civic.
Living the dream.
Thanks so much for watching. See you, then, goodnight.
CHEERING