1 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:32,948 What up, my lovely females! This is your boy, Costa, your host for the evening. 2 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:37,202 Behind me is Thomas Kub's house. Today is Thomas Kub's birthday. 3 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,581 And this is Project X, yo. 4 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,467 [SINGING] Hey, we want some pussy 5 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,803 [HUMMING] 6 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,308 Hey, we want some pussy 7 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,186 Birthday cake. Mm. 8 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,898 - Dax, my dick is gonna get so wet tonight. - Excuse me. 9 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,984 Shit. Um, Mrs. Kub, I thought you guys left already. 10 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:13,155 - So, what's getting wet tonight? - Uh... 11 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,908 Nothing. I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Kub. 12 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,827 - Who's your friend? - Don't worry about him. 13 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,080 We're shooting this birthday movie for Thomas. 14 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,582 Like this day-in-the-life type thing. No big deal. 15 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,876 He's still in the shower. 16 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,212 See you later. 17 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,301 [WHISPERING] Fuck me, that was close. 18 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,263 Dax. 19 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,182 [SHOWER RUNNING] 20 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,858 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Happy birthday, motherfucker! 21 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:52,194 Whoa, shit! What the fuck, dude? 22 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,531 COSTA: What the fuck? - I'm jerking off to your mom. 23 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:59,284 COSTA: So, dude, it's your last day of being a loser. How does it feel? 24 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,745 THOMAS: You're such a dick, Costa. 25 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,664 Shit never gets old. 26 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,374 [WIZ KHALIFA'S "WHEN I'M GONE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 27 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,501 COSTA [SINGING]: Wait for another day 28 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,254 What's up, Dax? How'd they rope you into this? 29 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,297 He's one of J.B.'s guys from Gay-V Club. 30 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,050 He's a fucking weirdo, I know, but he's a solid shooter. 31 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,845 And he's gonna make us look pimp, and you fucking better. 32 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,264 DAD: Thomas, get down here! 33 00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,266 Oh, shit. Let's go. 34 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,642 [MUSIC STOPS] 35 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,562 COSTA: You said your parents would be gone by 7. 36 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,605 I don't wanna go talk to your fucking dad. 37 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,864 DAD: No food in the living room. Your mother will kill me and I'll have to kill you. 38 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,116 - Here's 40 bucks for pizza, okay? THOMAS: Oh, cool. 39 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,161 DAD: You guys can have that. Knock yourself out. 40 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,246 Back door or turn the alarm system off. 41 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,916 And look, Thomas, I'm not an idiot. I know you're gonna have friends over. 42 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,961 - Dad, what do you think is gonna happen? - Mr. Kub, honestly, we have no... 43 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,338 Mm-mm. I'm sorry. Who are you? 44 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,798 THOMAS: This is Dax. DAD: What is this? 45 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,051 THOMAS: He's shooting a movie for my birthday, you know, a little present. 46 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:01,263 DAD: Didn't know you had Goth friends. THOMAS: He's just a friend from school. 47 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,848 DAD: Four or five friends, tops. 48 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,809 I'm just asking that you please respect my house, okay? 49 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,436 THOMAS: All right, fine. 50 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,855 DAD: So leave the gate open for the gardener. 51 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,108 And I know I don't need to tell you, but my car is off limits. 52 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,277 - Yeah, Dad, I know. - Good. Okay. 53 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,779 The pool heater, don't touch it. 54 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,657 And also, guys, do not go in my office, right? 55 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:24,620 I have three projects I'm working on. I don't want anybody in there, clear? 56 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,122 - Get out, out, out. THOMAS: Dad... 57 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,000 Nothing goes in here, right? 58 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,837 Where's your mom? I'm gonna get the bags. 59 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,633 DAD: What's going on? What's the matter? 60 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,468 - I'm just worried. - About what? 61 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,179 I don't know. Thomas, leaving him alone all weekend. 62 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,933 Oh, please, stop it. Come on, honey. He's 17 years old. 63 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,476 That's what I'm worried about. 64 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,771 Let's be realistic here, okay? 65 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,149 This is Thomas we're talking about. He's not exactly Mr. Popular. 66 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:58,070 - What is that supposed to mean? - I'm just saying that he's not that type of kid. 67 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:02,324 He's got a couple of friends. They're gonna hang out, but they're not gonna do anything. 68 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,701 He's a sweet kid, but... 69 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,829 ...he's a loser. 70 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,793 ALL [SINGING]: Happy birthday to you 71 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,169 [PARENTS APPLAUDING] 72 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,338 DAD: Happy birthday, Thomas. - Whoo! Yay! 73 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,839 DAD: All right, honey, car is here. 74 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,591 - Boys, gotta get to school. THOMAS: Cool. 75 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,261 Hold on. We gotta give Thomas his birthday present. 76 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,180 How cool is it that Thomas was born on your anniversary? 77 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,724 What a great anniversary gift, a baby. 78 00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,018 MOM: Happy birthday, sweetie. THOMAS: Ahh. 79 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:32,145 - Mom's minivan? Nice. DAD: Yeah. 80 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:34,523 It's just for school and back. That's it, right? 81 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,359 - Yes. Thank you so much. - Cool, right? You have a car now. 82 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,111 THOMAS: I know. - Okay. 83 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,906 And, Milo, you take good care of Thomas, okay? Momma's gonna miss you. 84 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,284 - Okay, bye. - All right, see you guys. 85 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,703 Every one of my phone calls gets answered, right? 86 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,663 - Yeah, I know. - Every one. Okay. 87 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,373 - All right, have fun. COSTA: Bye. 88 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,834 THOMAS: Happy anniversary. 89 00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,545 Get off me, you little faggot dog. 90 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,213 - Yeah! - It's on, motherfuckers! 91 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,842 - Whoo! THOMAS: Dude, chill out. Goddamn. 92 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:06,096 COSTA: It was really cool of your mom and dad to clean it out and wash it for you. 93 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,057 It's a free car. I'm not about to complain about a free car. 94 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,811 It's not even a car. It's a fucking minivan. We can't even roll in this. 95 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,273 Dude, too bad your dad didn't give you the Benz. That'd have been sick. 96 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,776 You know what, you're right, Costa. Let's just take your car. 97 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:23,405 - Oh, you don't have one. - Good fucking joke, good fucking joke. 98 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,949 COSTA: So, dog, you ready for tonight? 99 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:30,203 THOMAS: I actually wanna talk to you about that, you know, before we jump into it. 100 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,789 COSTA: I knew it. You're bitching out. THOMAS: What? 101 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,584 What? Dude, I'm not bitching out. 102 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,295 Thomas is bitching out like the little bitch that he is. 103 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,590 THOMAS: Fuck you. - Oh, my God. 104 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,508 [THOMAS LAUGHING] 105 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,345 - Oh, shit. - We need this party. You need this party. 106 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,473 THOMAS: I'm just nervous. What if nobody shows up? What if it sucks? 107 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,934 COSTA: That's not an option. People will show up. 108 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,562 Look at J.B. He's like a little fat Rain Man, texting away. 109 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,772 [HORN HONKS] 110 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:59,941 THOMAS: Dude, stop. COSTA: You're telling me he doesn't need this? 111 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,367 Holy shit, dude. Your parents gave you the minivan? That's awesome! 112 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,119 - Yeah. - Hey, Costa. Hey, Dax. 113 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,749 BRENDAN: That isn't happening. That's not real. 114 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,001 THOMAS: Uh, excuse me... GIRL: Sorry. 115 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,462 Hey, can I get to my locker right there? 116 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,714 Dude, why are you staring at my dick? 117 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,091 [ALL LAUGHING] 118 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,343 I wasn't. My locker's there. Can I get to it? 119 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:30,972 - Whatever, you fucking weirdo. COSTA: Dude, just let it go. Just come on. 120 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:37,020 - Hey, that's a sweet minivan, soccer mom. - See? See what I told you? 121 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,438 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 122 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,857 BOY: Is it true what I heard about you at Zam's party? 123 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,484 You got a blowjob from his mom? 124 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,320 That party was so sick. Everyone got laid. 125 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,322 Wheelchair Robert even got a handjob. 126 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,157 BOY: Nice. - Are you kidding me? 127 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,660 Why the fuck weren't we at that party, man? 128 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,620 So we missed a party, dude. Big deal. 129 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,081 It is a big deal. We miss every party. 130 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,626 I mean, did you hear that guy? Wheelchair Robert got beat off. 131 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,171 I wanna show you something. See this? Check this out. 132 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:06,174 That's Stasia. Gorgeous, right? That's my girl back in Queens. 133 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:09,511 We could be crushing this kind of ass, but we need a game changer. 134 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,721 I mean, no one even knows who we are. 135 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,975 If we want to be bigtime players, we need to make a bigtime play. 136 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,685 You feel me? 137 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,354 J.B., what the fuck, man? Why do you have a boner? 138 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,190 - I don't, it's just my underwear sitting funny. - Cover up. 139 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,025 COSTA: That's absolutely disgusting. 140 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:27,070 THOMAS: It's easy to talk shit when the party's not even at your house. 141 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:32,325 COSTA: Dude, please don't back out. This party is gonna change everything for us. 142 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,454 Okay. Well, I mean, I'm the one taking the whole risk. 143 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,372 All you do is show up and drink. 144 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,833 You think we'd ditch you if something went wrong? 145 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,002 - I'm fucking offended, man. - Yeah, me too. 146 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,421 The idea behind tonight is to get these bitches... 147 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,548 ...to recognize us as large-scale ballers. 148 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,885 Back in Queens, I had hoes blowing me on the reg. 149 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:54,055 - I started hanging out with you two. Zero! - I just don't really see the point anymore. 150 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:57,642 COSTA: How do you not see the point? There's the point. There's the point. 151 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:58,852 THOMAS: Okay. 152 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,146 COSTA: There's two more fucking points right there! It's all around you. 153 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,355 THOMAS: Dude, I get it. 154 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:06,318 If you fuck this up, I will stab you. I'm not kidding. 155 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,737 - Okay, no more than 20 people. - Twenty people? 156 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,739 - All right, 30 people. - Thirty people? 157 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:15,243 - To make sure my house doesn't get fucked. J. B: Thirty people won't change anything for us. 158 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:18,121 All right, look, okay, 50 people, absolute max. 159 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:21,583 Fine, 50 people, absolute max. 160 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,919 You know, just big enough to be cool. 161 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:29,549 MAN [ON TV]: Sand, an adversary in many ways more dangerous than those carrying weapons. 162 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,014 Mass marketing, handled. 163 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,268 [CELL PHONES VIBRATING] 164 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,488 - Shh. COSTA: Yeah, of course, Jack. Anything. 165 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,865 And if you guys get there before we get there... 166 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,284 ...you can just get in the backyard and set up... 167 00:08:56,452 --> 00:09:01,289 ...and do what you gotta do. - Dax, Dax. Go film over the top. 168 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,042 COSTA: Okay. Really, we appreciate that. 169 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,128 Oh, uh... I have to call you back, sir. I'm sorry. 170 00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:09,464 What are you doing? Get the fuck out of here! 171 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,051 THOMAS: What the fuck are you doing? - Guys. Hey, guys, what the fuck? 172 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,469 [J.B. & THOMAS LAUGHING] 173 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,805 COSTA: Are you fucking with me right now? 174 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,266 J. B: Look. COSTA: That was a business call for your party. 175 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,393 THOMAS: Who takes a shit and makes a business call? 176 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,687 COSTA: Are you kidding? THOMAS: Now you can shit in peace. 177 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,815 COSTA: Come on, dude. I can't see a thing. It's dark as fuck in here. 178 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,942 [COACH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 179 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,487 COSTA: Dax, come on. Let's get closer. 180 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,657 GIRL: Heh, heh. THOMAS: It should be pretty cool, I think. 181 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,284 Basically chill. 182 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,119 I'm letting Costa plan most of it. 183 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,664 Oh, that sounds like a really brilliant idea. 184 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,668 No, he's doing a good job. He's getting, like, a bunch of booze and then... 185 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,628 ...I think, like, a DJ. 186 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,631 - A DJ. Super chill. THOMAS: Ha. 187 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,552 Guess what Mama Kub and Papa Kub got for... 188 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,888 - Baby Kub? ...Baby Kub for his birthday. 189 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,057 - What? - The Kub Mobile. 190 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,518 - They gave you the minivan? - For my birthday, yes. 191 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,520 Your parents give the worst gifts ever. 192 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,355 - Where's your present? - You serious? 193 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,691 You haven't gotten me a present in 10 years. 194 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,276 So? 195 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,656 But since I am a better friend than you, I did get you something. 196 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,451 - Oh. - I'll bring it tonight. Hey, I have to go run. 197 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,953 - Happy birthday, loser. - Ow. 198 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,873 - Don't trip. KIRBY: Ow! 199 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,709 THOMAS: Oh, shit! KIRBY: I'm okay! Heh. 200 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,545 COSTA: Thomas, suck my cock. THOMAS: What? 201 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:34,257 - "Mama Kub and Papa Kub"? Jesus. - Yeah, those are my parents, asshole. 202 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,761 THOMAS: Damn, she's so fucking hot, dude. 203 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,806 - Think she'll come tonight? COSTA: I'm not inviting her. You do this one. 204 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:45,602 J. B: Alexis won't come. She fucks college dudes. 205 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,646 [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] 206 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:54,110 "Lamel"? What? I don't know any Lamel. 207 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,445 COSTA: No, he's cool. 208 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,573 Guys, the last thing I want in my house is a bunch of randoms. 209 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,576 Wrong. Last thing you want is nobody at your fucking house. 210 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,664 The more word gets around, the more likely these chicks will show up at our party. 211 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,793 Watch and learn how Captain Big Dick does it. 212 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,545 [GIRLS CHATTERING] 213 00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,382 Hey, girls. Just remember, wear something tight. 214 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,929 What's up, sisters? Thomas Kub's house, 8:00. 215 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,223 Come get a piece of this white chocolate. 216 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,059 DAX: Are you gonna be going to Thomas's birthday party tonight? 217 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,353 - Thomas? Who's that? - Who's Thomas? 218 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,898 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 219 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,068 That thing that dick in the sweater vest was telling us about? 220 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,070 COSTA: What's up, baby? Eight o'clock. 221 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,280 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 222 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,201 DAX: What are your expectations for the party? 223 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,121 Get high, fuck bitches, you already know. 224 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:49,416 - I think we'll come. Can we bring people? - Can I bring people? 225 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,710 COSTA: Thomas Kub's house, 8:00. 226 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,385 Oh, shit! 227 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,262 Ahh! 228 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,638 [THOMAS LAUGHS] 229 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,475 COSTA: What we are witnessing is truly a breathtaking moment... 230 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,644 ...in the life of young Thomas. 231 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:14,691 The helpless fetus is growing a tiny, tiny penis... 232 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:20,238 ...a penis he may someday insert into this female's vagina... 233 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:26,161 ...should he survive his first encounter without her eating him. 234 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,632 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 235 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,843 Paper towels. Get long. 236 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,012 THOMAS: Don't! - Dude, get a ton. 237 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,557 Oh, shit. Extra-large condoms. I'm not paying for that shit. 238 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,519 [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Attention, valued shoppers. 239 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,729 THOMAS: Oh, my God. 240 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:56,357 Join us for an evening of balls-deep entertainment at Thomas Kub's house. 241 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,026 Dude, stop. 242 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:05,283 COSTA [IN NORMAL VOICE]: Hey, little buddy. Want something to drink? Hey. 243 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,661 J. B: He's gonna catch him and he's gonna get his ass kicked. 244 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,540 [CRYING] 245 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,168 THOMAS: You guys, we good on OJ? COSTA: Sunny D, dude. 246 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,629 Grab it. Throw it in. I love... 247 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,172 How are we doing on eggs? 248 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,551 Holy shit, dude. It's Miles Teller. 249 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,722 - Dude, it is. That's him. Holy shit. J. B: He's so badass. 250 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,225 COSTA: Yeah, my boy's starting at second base for USC. 251 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,894 J. B: He got sent to detention once and banged the teacher. 252 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,063 Mi-Tell, what's cracking, bro? 253 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,816 - We go to North Pass. THOMAS: Yeah, dude, big fans. 254 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,652 COSTA: Huge fans. - Cool. Awesome. 255 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,737 COSTA: Look, we're making a movie. 256 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,324 J. B: Invite him, man. Come on. THOMAS: All right. Okay. Um... 257 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:51,704 We're having a soirée at my place tonight. If you wanna swing by, it should be... 258 00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:54,082 My boy is underselling this like a motherfucker. 259 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,584 This shit's gonna be legit. You should swing by. 260 00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:00,213 Yeah, I can't. I actually got other plans tonight, so I might not make it. 261 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:04,384 Dude, think about it. It's on Dickens Street. We'd love to have you. 262 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,427 - Uh, Dickens Street? COSTA: Yeah. 263 00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:08,471 That's your party? You're throwing that? 264 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,932 That's where I'm going. Heard it's gonna be crazy. 265 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,852 That's my party. I'm Thomas Kub. It's my birthday today. 266 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,604 Yeah, I heard it's gonna be unlimited high-school pussy. 267 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,065 COSTA: Dude, high-school pussy for days. 268 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,110 What? Mind your own business, lady. 269 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,320 MILES: How you guys doing on liquor? You got liquor? 270 00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,530 THOMAS: Uh... 271 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,950 Don't even worry about it, man. I'll bring it, call my boys up. 272 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,619 - Don't want you to sweat anything. THOMAS: Thank you so much. 273 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:34,247 Hey, it's your day. Cool. See you guys tonight, then. 274 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,249 THOMAS: All right, cool. - Dickens Street. 275 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,294 - Teller, bring your mitt. We'll play catch. MILES: No. 276 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,462 - Fuck. - "Bring your mitt"? The fuck? 277 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,631 [OVER SPEAKERS] Nothing like black pussy on my dick 278 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,550 Word to the motherfucking DJ Quik 279 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,136 Okay, here's what I want. 280 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,347 Party's limited to the backyard, okay? 281 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:54,434 The house'll be locked and the alarm'll be set. 282 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,353 - No one is going inside, all right? COSTA: Stop. 283 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,647 - Throw down in the bushes? THOMAS: I don't care. 284 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:02,984 If I don't fuck a girl with big tits tonight, I'm drowning myself. 285 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,237 Don't care if she's 300 pounds. I have to fuck a girl with big tits. 286 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,323 THOMAS: Oh, my God. COSTA: Feel my drift, J. B? 287 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,574 J. B: Sure do. 288 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:14,162 I mean, I'd love to get some oral or, you know, at least do some finger-banging. 289 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,123 What? Finger-banging? Can you please elaborate? 290 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,335 You take your first finger, your thumb and your middle finger. 291 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,462 Make a "come here" motion. "Come here." 292 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,173 This is called "machine guns" or "friendly scissors." 293 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,800 The "circle of pleasure." The "itsy-bitsy spider." 294 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,928 Tapping and circling. Tap, tap, tap. 295 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,347 Keep telling her how pretty she is the whole time. 296 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,015 Shut the fuck up! 297 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,643 - Your loss, man. It's good knowledge. THOMAS: Oh, my God. 298 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:39,979 COSTA: Straight up here, then take a right again. THOMAS: All right, listen. 299 00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:43,942 The three of us will have full access to the house for sex and finger-banging. 300 00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,319 COSTA: Yes. THOMAS: But no one else, okay? 301 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,488 COSTA: Of course, bro, we got your back. 302 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,031 - Hey, take a right. THOMAS: Here? 303 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,867 COSTA: You're gonna want to lock your doors. THOMAS: Are you serious? 304 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,703 COSTA: Yes, I'm serious. THOMAS: Where the fuck are we going? 305 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,790 T-Rick's. Gotta score some of that chronic shit. 306 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,459 J. B: Are you sure this guy's cool? COSTA: T-Rick's the coolest. 307 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,837 He's ex-military. Wait till you see his gun collection. Fucking insane. 308 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,339 J. B: This place is ghetto as fuck. 309 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,842 THOMAS: Why do we have to come all the way here? We can't just get it at school? 310 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,804 Where do you think the school gets it? This is wholesale. 311 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,431 THOMAS: You are literally retarded. 312 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,809 COSTA: Ah, shut the fuck up. 313 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,186 J. B: Ah! Fuck. 314 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,938 COSTA: T-Rick, open up. 315 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,652 - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey, what's up, bro? 316 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,571 - I haven't seen you in a minute, Costa. - Yeah. 317 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,408 - Nice to see you. - How are you doing? Everything copacetic? 318 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:36,160 Everything's great. You upgraded the dish. Looks great. 319 00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,287 Yeah, I fucking did, upscaled it. 320 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,123 - Upscaled it. I fucking did. - Yeah. 321 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,250 - These are my boys, J.B. And Thomas. J. B: Hi. 322 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,044 All right, yeah, yeah. Come on in, come on in. 323 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,173 [DOG BARKING] 324 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:54,345 Oh, yeah, that was a 12-millimeter semi-automatic Mossberg Maverick. 325 00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,932 - I'd love to go to the range with you. - Yeah, that's a good idea. 326 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,352 Going on the range, get it all out of your system. 327 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,896 Pretend you're killing cops, if you want. 328 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,982 [OVER SPEAKERS] You're beautiful 329 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,944 You're beautiful, it's true 330 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,198 I saw your face 331 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,868 In a crowded place 332 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,288 All right, well, I'll get your stuff. Here, stoke up the fires, buddy. 333 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,331 COSTA: Oh, man, you the man. Fuck, yeah, T-Rick. 334 00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,417 T-RICK: Yeah, kick ass with that. 335 00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,753 J. B: Hey, can we get going? 336 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,716 THOMAS: Costa, come sit down, dude. He's about to fucking... 337 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,844 COSTA: Check it out. THOMAS: What are you doing? 338 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,471 Fucking stop. 339 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:37,889 [COSTA GRUNTS] 340 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,807 That's technically a homosexual act. 341 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,184 [COSTA MOANING] 342 00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,352 I'm coming on Santa Claus's face. 343 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,271 THOMAS: Costa, he's coming back. 344 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,815 - Dax, take it, take it. DAX: What the fuck are you doing? 345 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,651 J. B: Dude, are you stealing it? COSTA: No, we're just borrowing it. 346 00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,112 We need a fucking mascot for the party. 347 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,324 J. B: Jesus Christ. 348 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,034 T-RICK: Here you go. 349 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,536 Let's do this, I gotta be at the dojo by 5. 350 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,121 - Absolutely. - Cool. 351 00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:07,376 See, I told you guys, T-Rick's just a sweetheart. Mm. 352 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:08,586 [SNIFFS] 353 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,962 Smell it, J.B. 354 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,965 - You little fucking cocksuckers! COSTA: Oh, fuck! 355 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,218 - Give me back my fucking gnome! COSTA: Fuck! 356 00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:18,179 J. B: Give him the gnome back. Give him the fucking gnome back. 357 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,389 COSTA: No, fuck that! Just go. J. B: Get out of here! 358 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,600 COSTA: Oh, shit! J. B: Oh, fuck! 359 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:27,021 Holy shit, Thomas, he's fucking wild! He's a fucking crazy man! 360 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,607 Holy shit! He's gone! He fell off! 361 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,234 [TIRES SCREECHING] 362 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,612 - Holy shit, man! J. B: Holy shit! 363 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,072 [ENGINE STALLING] 364 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,865 [ENGINE STARTS] 365 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,534 THOMAS: Shit, shit, shit! 366 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:43,121 That's my boy Tom! That was some serious fucking shit right there! 367 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,705 THOMAS: What in the fucking world? 368 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,458 J. B: Fuck. Shit. 369 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,919 THOMAS: Oh, my God. J. B: Shit. 370 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,214 THOMAS: God, dude, he fucking cracked my windshield. 371 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:57,552 COSTA: Fuck it, my cousin owns a body shop. He can fix it, no problem, man. 372 00:18:58,053 --> 00:18:59,929 [IN CHINESE ACCENT] The kung fu no good here. 373 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,932 COSTA: Oh, fuck! Holy shit! - Give me back my gnome! 374 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,853 COSTA: Holy shit! J. B: Guy's like the fucking Terminator! Jesus! 375 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:10,648 - No, he was super pissed though. J. B: Dude scares the shit out of me. 376 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,234 BOY 1: Hey, boss. 377 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,777 What the fuck? 378 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,738 COSTA: There he is. This is Everett and his boy Tyler. 379 00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,740 They're running security for the night. 380 00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,410 THOMAS: Are you serious? Are those nunchucks? 381 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,744 - Yeah. THOMAS: Oh, shit. 382 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,997 J. B: Look like ninjas. - Ninjas are fucking pussies! 383 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,582 COSTA: I love this kid. - You know it. 384 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,917 COSTA: With these two, we got nothing to worry about. 385 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,919 - We're outside the Kub house. BOY 2: Hey. 386 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:34,088 - We have bogeys. BOY 2: What up, Costa? 387 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,631 COSTA: Do I know you guys? 388 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,092 We heard about your shindig tonight. We want in. 389 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,343 COSTA: You freshmen? - Yeah. 390 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,096 COSTA: Get the fuck out of here, man. - Come on, dude. 391 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,474 COSTA: Are you still talking? Get the fuck out of here. 392 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,934 KYLE: Dick! 393 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,270 [THOMAS CHUCKLES] 394 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:52,231 COSTA: J.B., drop those bags. We got work to do. 395 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,860 [DOORBELL RINGS] 396 00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,031 Hi. Good evening, Mrs. Stillson. My name's Oliver. 397 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,741 This is my friend Jonathan. 398 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,368 - And we're both friends of Thomas Kub's. - Oh. 399 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,121 Yeah, we're hosting a little birthday party for Thomas. 400 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,957 And we wanted to give you the courtesy of informing you... 401 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,793 ...that there'd possibly be a bit of party-related noise. 402 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:16,172 I wanted to give you my number in case you had problems or concerns. 403 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,300 You're a very beautiful woman. Call me anytime you want. 404 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,553 - Thank you. That's very sweet of you. - I mean that when I say that. 405 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:23,930 You are very beautiful. 406 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,140 - A little party for Thomas. He lives there. 407 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,600 Am I invited? 408 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,977 - Yeah, dude, fine. Yeah, you can come by. - Nice. 409 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,521 Thank you very much. Have a good time at your party. 410 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:35,274 COSTA: Thank you, I appreciate this. Come by anytime you want. 411 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,109 - All right, see you. J. B: All right. 412 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,736 - Bye, baby. COSTA: See you guys. 413 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:44,951 [COSTA & WOMAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH] 414 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,248 [DOORBELL RINGS] 415 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,000 [DOG BARKING] 416 00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:00,675 J. B: Hi, uh, my name's J.B. I'm a friend of Thomas Kub, your neighbor across the street. 417 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:03,511 I just wanted to let you know that we're gonna be having a party... 418 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,806 ...and it may get a little loud and noisy, but I just wanted to let you know... 419 00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,685 ...that if you have any concerns, just let me know and I'll be glad to help out. 420 00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:13,479 You can call me, uh, you could send me a text message. 421 00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,482 I'm an open guy. I even have a Facebook account. You can send me: 422 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,695 "It's a little too loud," and I'll be like, "I'll tell them to keep it down." You know how it goes? 423 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,863 [THE HUNDRED IN THE HANDS' "DRESSED IN DRESDEN" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 424 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:24,407 THOMAS: DJ's over there. J. B: Cool. 425 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,451 - Um, got the bar set up over here. - Nice. 426 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,161 - Karaoke in the pool house. - Nice. 427 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,665 Holy shit, dude! Where'd you get a bouncy-house? 428 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,126 - Costa hooked it up. - You know it, baby. 429 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:39,213 Fifty bucks extra with the port-a-potty. And they threw these in for free. 430 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,758 J. B: Nice touch. COSTA: Why not? It's a birthday party. 431 00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,302 You wanna help? Do something. 432 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,471 - Hey, Chubs, grab your twin brother there. J. B: Fucking dick. 433 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,266 - Hey, dudes, check it out. THOMAS: Yeah, like that's gonna work. 434 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,686 COSTA: Yes, it is gonna work. Next time your pool guy's here, he'll be like: 435 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,148 "Excuse me, Mr. Kub. I seem to have found some water in your semen." 436 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,025 That's fucking disgusting. 437 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,323 COSTA: J.B., I thought I told you to pick up ice. 438 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,825 I did. It's in the freezer in the garage. 439 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,870 - What the fuck are you doing? - Getting in shape for the party. 440 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,873 - The party's in three hours. - It's mostly water weight. 441 00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:17,168 - Wrestlers do it all the time. - Wrestlers also wrestle all the time. 442 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,502 - Crank this thing up. - No. 443 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:21,005 It's not gonna work unless you crank it up. 444 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,633 Stop. Stop. Stop. 445 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,886 - Let's go, come on. - Dax. Dax, help me. 446 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,513 - No, Dax, you're here to observe. - Help me! Dax! Aah! 447 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:34,852 Jesus Christ! Are you all right, dude? Oh, my God, J.B., are you all right? 448 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,272 An hour from now, this place is a fucking madhouse. 449 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,567 Not a madhouse, just gonna be a fun, decent-sized party. 450 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:45,029 Relax. For you. You. 451 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,906 Me. Dax. 452 00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,991 DAX: Thank you, I don't drink alcohol. 453 00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,910 Okay, faggot. 454 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:54,914 - To one sick fucking night. - Cheers. 455 00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,252 [YACHT'S "PSYCHIC CITY (CLASSIXX REMIX)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 456 00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:03,047 Come on over, over 457 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,716 [GRUNTING ON VIDEO GAME] 458 00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:08,636 COSTA: Shit! Come on! 459 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:11,680 Yes. How are you so fucking bad at this game, Costa? 460 00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:14,392 COSTA: Shut up, Kirby. You're killing my concentration right now. 461 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:16,519 KIRBY: Ha, ha! Thomas, come here! COSTA: Fucker! 462 00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:18,604 KIRBY: I'm kicking Costa's ass! 463 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,689 Oh, watch this. 464 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,858 COSTA: Shit! KIRBY: It looks like I win. 465 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,361 COSTA: Fuck you. - You guys, it's like 9:20 already. 466 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,988 COSTA: Dude, relax. People are gonna show up. I promise, bro. 467 00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,866 KIRBY: Getting late. - I'll look like such a dick if no one shows. 468 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:34,954 Shut the fuck up. It's pissing me off that you don't trust me to know what I'm doing. 469 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,374 I'm the hub of a large social circle. I put the word out, it goes out. 470 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,042 THOMAS: Okay, cool. 471 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,586 - Oh, shit. COSTA: What the fuck are you wearing? 472 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:45,297 KIRBY: My God. THOMAS: Nice. 473 00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:50,010 KIRBY: You're gonna get laid, dude. - Ladies love a guy with class. 474 00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:52,471 Are you retarded? 475 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:56,559 Jesus Christ, man. Where do you even get shit like that? 476 00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:59,311 - Men's Wearhouse. - Men's Wearhouse? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. 477 00:23:59,479 --> 00:24:00,980 [HORNS HONKING AND CAR DOORS CLOSING] 478 00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,606 KIRBY: What is it? 479 00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:06,193 J. B: Wow, dude, this is fucking... THOMAS: I can't believe it fucking worked. 480 00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:08,612 COSTA: What did I say? Don't doubt the master, bitches! 481 00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:14,493 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 482 00:24:22,210 --> 00:24:23,836 COSTA: Dude, we done good. 483 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,838 J. B: Jesus, all those chicks are really hot. 484 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:28,007 COSTA: They're coming in packs. THOMAS: This is insane. 485 00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,216 [SPEAKS IN HEBREW] 486 00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:32,344 [OVER SPEAKERS] Beat it, I bet she let me She been fiendin' since she met me 487 00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:35,222 I'm the coolest shit Especially when I throw on all my Gretzky 488 00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:38,100 Got my Smith and Wessie to protect me So respect me 489 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,269 [ALL CHATTERING AND LAUGHING] 490 00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,188 COSTA: What up, baby girl? 491 00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:44,315 Andretti on Pirelli Make a movie out the getty 492 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:47,026 Where my ring and my confetti? I'm Kobe Bryant ready 493 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,819 Pink rosé and chronic smelly 494 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,155 THOMAS: Dude, this is way more than 50 people. 495 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,865 COSTA: Of course it is, it's plus-one. 496 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:57,203 That's fucking Alexis, dude. She came, man. 497 00:24:57,370 --> 00:24:59,538 THOMAS: Damn, dude. J. B: Whoa. 498 00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:03,250 COSTA: Thomas, this is your party, and she's the hottest girl here. 499 00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:06,420 - That better be yours tonight. - Damn. 500 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:10,007 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 501 00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:28,919 [OVER SPEAKERS] White trash party Pull a fifth of Bacardi from out of my underwear 502 00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,713 And walk around the party without a care 503 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,799 - Where the fuck is your drink, Thomas? - I'm between beverages. 504 00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,261 What the fuck does that even mean? J.B., get this bitch a drink. 505 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,929 Yeah, all right. 506 00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:43,058 [SINGING] Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy 507 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:45,477 Who's that dude with the mustache? 508 00:26:45,645 --> 00:26:48,063 COSTA: Oh, that's LaRosa. He graduated. 509 00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:50,649 THOMAS: When, in 1986? 510 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:53,277 Hey, will you at least try and have a good time? 511 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,154 Whoo! 512 00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,864 BOY 1: Got it? You tie it? 513 00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:59,825 BOY 2: He's good. Ready to go. BOY 3: Blast off. 514 00:26:59,993 --> 00:27:02,244 [ALL CHEERING] 515 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,832 [OVER SPEAKERS] Pennies up at skinnies Man, I do this for them bunnies 516 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,792 That is not fucking cool. 517 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,586 GIRL: Oh, my God, it's a flying dog! 518 00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:13,047 'Cause, homey That hood is tighter than Kenny's 519 00:27:14,549 --> 00:27:16,342 BOY 4: It's just like Up. 520 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:18,677 THOMAS: It's my fucking dog. 521 00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:20,179 I gotta record this. 522 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:22,014 Are you serious right now? 523 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:25,184 - Fuck this, I'm putting him inside. - Let me help you. 524 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,853 THOMAS: Hey. 525 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:30,564 [DOG BARKING ON VIDEO] 526 00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:33,776 Can you imagine if your mom ever saw that? 527 00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:35,444 THOMAS: It's my fucking dog. 528 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,112 Poor Milo. 529 00:27:38,531 --> 00:27:40,949 I don't know. It's pretty funny. 530 00:27:41,117 --> 00:27:44,453 - Maybe I'll post it on YouTube. - No, don't, don't, don't. 531 00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:45,913 Seriously, stop. Stop. 532 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,291 KIRBY: Come on, you're way too easy. I love it. 533 00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:50,918 THOMAS: I hate you. 534 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:55,172 You'll be okay, Milo. I promise. 535 00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:59,385 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING AND CROWD CHEERING NEARBY] 536 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:03,889 All right, well, um, we better get back out there. 537 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:05,891 [FAR EAST MOVEMENT'S "CANDY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 538 00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:07,851 BOY 1: Hey, yo, Kub. Hey, yo, what up, dog? 539 00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:09,561 THOMAS: Yo, what's up, bro? 540 00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:12,981 Let me see what you got Now shake that thing 541 00:28:13,149 --> 00:28:15,192 - Hey, man, what's up? BOY 2: Nice party, man. 542 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,153 Hey, thanks. Would you guys mind getting off my dad's car? 543 00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:20,698 It's just he'll go crazy if anything happens to it. 544 00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:22,241 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - All right. 545 00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,743 - Thanks, man, I appreciate it. - Yeah, no problem. 546 00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:27,162 Thomas! You're taking a bullet from me right now. 547 00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:29,581 - What is that? - Tequila. Just fucking take it. 548 00:28:29,749 --> 00:28:31,583 - All right. Fuck, dude. - Come here. Come on. 549 00:28:31,751 --> 00:28:34,294 Ladies, who wants to take a shot with the birthday boy? 550 00:28:34,462 --> 00:28:36,547 - Hell, yeah. - Whoa, uh... Oh. 551 00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,924 THOMAS: Careful. COSTA: She's a professional. Open up. 552 00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:41,468 Take it. Oh, my God, she's got a deep throat. 553 00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:45,723 - Okay, open up, open up. Now. GIRL: Yeah! 554 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,017 [OVER SPEAKERS] Say what Bitch, I'm about to blow up 555 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,272 J. B: Pardon? Oh, hey. GIRL: Hey. 556 00:28:53,773 --> 00:28:56,191 - What's up, guys? - Well, we did it. 557 00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:59,111 This is amazing. How did we get all these people to show up? 558 00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:02,531 Check it out, guys. I'm pretty sure it's that girl from Playboy. 559 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:04,116 THOMAS: Who? COSTA: Oh, my God, it is her. 560 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:07,494 She graduated three years ago. She's in Playboy's Pac-10 issue. 561 00:29:07,662 --> 00:29:09,997 - Dibs. - Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 562 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,915 Well, I want to declare it, just in case. 563 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,333 [HORN BLARES] 564 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:15,377 - Whoa. - Oh, shit. 565 00:29:17,046 --> 00:29:18,255 TYLER: We're fucked! 566 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,048 THOMAS: What? Oh, hey, what's going on? 567 00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:22,968 - There's people in the house! THOMAS: Oh, shit. 568 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:24,595 - Hey, Costa. TYLER: I'm understaffed. 569 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,431 - Come on, I need your fucking help, man. COSTA: Goddamn it. 570 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,641 J. B: Wow. Whoa. 571 00:29:29,809 --> 00:29:31,310 [GIRLS CHEERING] 572 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:35,063 Hey. Hey, hi. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to party. Welcome, welcome. 573 00:29:35,231 --> 00:29:36,273 - Yo! J. B: Miles! 574 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,442 Little dude. What's up, man? How we doing? 575 00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,652 - That's Ashley, Rachel, Sarah. J. B: Hi, hi. 576 00:29:40,820 --> 00:29:44,114 I brought all these people to your party. Fucking camera creeps me out. 577 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:46,784 - Yeah, it's... Don't worry. MILES: Let's go. 578 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:49,495 I'm talking about the fucking people in the house. 579 00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:52,998 My parents are gonna crucify me if anything gets fucked up. 580 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:57,419 I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a dick. I'm getting them out of the house. Now. 581 00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,797 Fuck, hey, stop, seriously. 582 00:30:00,423 --> 00:30:02,549 COSTA: Dude, what the fuck are you doing? 583 00:30:03,259 --> 00:30:05,719 - Please don't embarrass me like this. - Hey, listen up! 584 00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:07,554 ALEXIS: Yeah, Thomas! Whoo! 585 00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:10,849 [ALL CHEERING] 586 00:30:11,017 --> 00:30:15,354 Yeah, bro! Birthday boy on the table! That's what I like to see, baby. 587 00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:16,897 - You having a good time? - Yeah. 588 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:21,401 Come on, guys, let's start making some drinks. Let's get crazy in this bitch. 589 00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:29,993 TYLER: Can I help you, sir? 590 00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:32,621 - I'm here to see Thomas. - First and last name, please. 591 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:34,790 I'm Rob, the neighbor. Who the fuck are you? 592 00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:38,043 - I'll ask the questions, sir. - Exactly. Get the hell out of my way. 593 00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:43,882 [DOORBELL RINGS] 594 00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,389 - Rob, hey. What can I do for you, man? - Hey. 595 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,225 Look, man, I don't mean to be a dick here or anything. 596 00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,854 Oliver came over earlier and told me you guys were having a little party... 597 00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:58,272 ...but this is too much. 598 00:30:58,439 --> 00:31:01,900 Yeah, we actually should be winding down, like midnight, I mean, maybe 1. 599 00:31:02,068 --> 00:31:03,402 - Is that okay? - No, it's not. 600 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,904 The baby can't sleep, Melinda works early tomorrow. 601 00:31:06,072 --> 00:31:08,907 Fuck, yeah! My boy Rob is here to rage! Mwah! 602 00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:11,285 - Good to see you. - Actually, I'm not raging. 603 00:31:11,452 --> 00:31:13,537 I'm telling Thomas it's time to shut it down. 604 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,706 You can't be serious. This is a great party. 605 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,917 I am serious, because it's 11:30 at night. It's time to wrap it up. 606 00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:20,919 J. B: Hey, hey, hey. 607 00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:23,755 Why don't we bring everyone to the back, lower the volume? 608 00:31:23,923 --> 00:31:26,258 Guys, this isn't a request. The party's over. 609 00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:29,678 I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree, then, aren't we? 610 00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:32,764 Listen to me, Thomas. Either shut it down or I'm calling the cops. 611 00:31:32,932 --> 00:31:34,516 Ahh. 612 00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:36,935 Fine. Fuck it. I'm calling the fucking cops... Aah! 613 00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,937 COSTA: Fuck! THOMAS: Oh, shit! 614 00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:41,773 Jesus fucking Christ! What'd you do that for? 615 00:31:41,941 --> 00:31:44,776 COSTA: Are you kidding me? I will fucking kill you! 616 00:31:44,944 --> 00:31:47,779 The little fuck Tased me! I'm definitely calling the cops now! 617 00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:50,657 You punched a kid in the face! I'm calling the cops on you. 618 00:31:50,825 --> 00:31:54,161 Do it, genius. It's all on tape. I just saw this motherfucker record it. 619 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:56,872 DAX: All I got was you punching that little child's face. 620 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,332 Fuck you. 621 00:31:58,499 --> 00:31:59,791 COSTA: Go home, Robert! 622 00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:02,002 BOY: It was just a kid, man! 623 00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:05,756 - Are you all right, man? THOMAS: Is he okay? 624 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,382 You're a fucking champion. 625 00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:10,802 He sucker-punched you. You'd own that bitch in a real fight. 626 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:12,137 - You think so? - I know so. 627 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:14,306 Fuck that asshole. You're killing it, bro. 628 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:17,059 BOY: Yo, Costa, what's up? - Yo, go in the back. 629 00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:20,979 I need you to dial back like 10, 15 percent. You can't hard-charge all the time. 630 00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:23,231 All right? And lose the Taser, okay? 631 00:32:23,399 --> 00:32:25,651 - Got it. - Get down here. 632 00:32:25,818 --> 00:32:28,028 We need a post up at the cockbiter's house. 633 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:31,740 If he calls the cops, I want you to radio it over to me, okay? 634 00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:36,662 Get out of here. Go. 635 00:32:44,545 --> 00:32:47,881 Alexis was eye-fucking you, and you got college girls on your dick. 636 00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,841 - You're golden! THOMAS: Dude, I'm so fucked. 637 00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:53,095 - Relax, man, everything's going great. DAVE: Shit. 638 00:32:53,262 --> 00:32:56,264 Are you fucking kidding me? Didn't I tell you two to fuck off? 639 00:32:56,432 --> 00:32:59,142 - Get down here now. - Come on, there's like 200 people here. 640 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,812 I don't care. T, get these freshmen out of here. 641 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:04,690 This is a party for grownups. Let's fucking go. 642 00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:06,984 Makes no sense. This kid's younger than we are. 643 00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,611 THOMAS: How the hell did they get up there? - Move it, fellas. 644 00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,531 - You too, get out of here. - That's my boy. That's my boy. 645 00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,117 See, the kid's a pro. We got nothing to worry about. 646 00:33:15,284 --> 00:33:17,786 Dude, you heard Rob, man. What if he calls the cops? 647 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:21,039 The guy isn't gonna do shit. He punched a 12-year-old in the face. 648 00:33:21,207 --> 00:33:24,918 Thomas, everything's under control. Let's just have some fun. 649 00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,212 I got this, okay? 650 00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,718 Cannonball, bitches! 651 00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:34,886 [CROWD CHEERING] 652 00:33:35,054 --> 00:33:38,015 [ANIMAL COLLECTIVE'S "MY GIRLS" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 653 00:33:38,182 --> 00:33:40,892 [COSTA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 654 00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:44,771 I don't care for fancy things 655 00:33:44,939 --> 00:33:48,900 Or to take part in the vicious race 656 00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:51,570 This is the Thomas Kub pool cam. 657 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:53,655 Dude, check it out. Check it out. 658 00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,074 COSTA: Whoa, whoa, whoa, read the sign, honey. 659 00:33:56,242 --> 00:33:58,869 Sorry, I don't make the rules. 660 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,079 [OVER SPEAKERS] Ray-Ban vision, these ain't no prescription 661 00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:02,539 [CROWD CHEERING] 662 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:04,708 THOMAS: No fucking way. 663 00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:06,168 Dude, go over there. 664 00:34:06,335 --> 00:34:08,253 Do you fucking believe this? 665 00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:15,010 [GIRLS SCREAMING] 666 00:34:15,178 --> 00:34:20,098 In this, feelin' tremendous Lenses darker than the tint on my Benzes 667 00:34:20,266 --> 00:34:21,558 Yeah! Ha, ha! 668 00:34:22,977 --> 00:34:26,021 She told me take my glasses off But she looks horrendous 669 00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:37,908 [DAX GRUNTS] 670 00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:42,287 I see you haters coming Niggas don't think that I'm slipping 671 00:34:42,455 --> 00:34:44,122 I got Ray-Ban vision 672 00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:48,543 Whoo! 673 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,961 Whoo-hoo! 674 00:34:50,129 --> 00:34:52,798 [CROWD CHEERING] 675 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,427 THOMAS: Oh, my God! - Holy shit! Fucking insane! 676 00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,852 THOMAS: Oh, my God. Dude, that sign fucking worked. 677 00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:07,312 You gotta have faith, son. 678 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,397 Would you like a glass of wine? 679 00:35:09,565 --> 00:35:13,193 We've got red, we've got white. You know, Cabernet, Merlot. 680 00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:14,903 Just another beer would be great. 681 00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,530 Uh... 682 00:35:16,989 --> 00:35:18,365 Here we are. 683 00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:23,411 Whoa. 684 00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:25,580 [GULPING] 685 00:35:30,336 --> 00:35:33,171 Wow. Okay. 686 00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:36,466 [GIRL SCREAMS] 687 00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:39,094 [CROWD YELLING AND LAUGHING] 688 00:35:39,262 --> 00:35:40,512 GIRL: J. B! 689 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,347 [GIRL LAUGHING] 690 00:35:42,515 --> 00:35:45,642 How did this thing get up here? Was someone in my parents' room? 691 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,854 It's a gnome. I guess he gets around. Who cares, man? 692 00:35:49,021 --> 00:35:51,022 Well, I just don't want people up here. 693 00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:53,150 Besides, it's creepy. Look at him. 694 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,693 [CLATTERING] 695 00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:57,863 - J.B., what are you looking for? - To see if your dad has condoms. 696 00:35:58,030 --> 00:35:59,197 I'm working on something. 697 00:35:59,365 --> 00:36:01,908 Only thing you're working on is diabetes, you fat fuck. 698 00:36:02,076 --> 00:36:06,037 - Oh, dude, Alexis just texted me. - What? What's it say? 699 00:36:06,205 --> 00:36:08,874 "Body shots for the birthday boy right now"? 700 00:36:09,041 --> 00:36:11,835 - Dude, it's fucking on! J. B: Check it out. 701 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,713 THOMAS: J.B., seriously, what are you doing? - Your dad is a freak. 702 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:19,050 Stop. Give me that. Costa, stop, wait. Costa, what are you doing? 703 00:36:19,218 --> 00:36:21,428 - Replying. THOMAS: Don't. Here, don't send that. 704 00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:25,015 - Sent. Too late, man. - What did you write? 705 00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:28,226 "I want your ass too, Mommy"? 706 00:36:28,394 --> 00:36:30,604 "I want your ass, Mommy"? Who talks like that? 707 00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:32,772 I do. The shit works. 708 00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:35,817 Go. Go talk to her. 709 00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:37,944 Oh. 710 00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:39,487 [SNIFFS] 711 00:36:39,655 --> 00:36:43,241 [WHITE ARROWS' "CITY BOY (KKS REMIX)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 712 00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:49,748 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 713 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,421 Hey, hey, hey, hey 714 00:37:02,803 --> 00:37:04,304 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 715 00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:08,266 Wait. No, wait. What are you doing? Not like that. Not like that. 716 00:37:09,727 --> 00:37:11,436 Like this. 717 00:37:14,148 --> 00:37:15,899 Put this in your mouth. 718 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:25,742 [SHINY TOY GUNS' "LE DISKO (BOYS NOIZE)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 719 00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:43,635 Your turn. 720 00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:46,304 Kub! House phone! House phone! 721 00:37:48,432 --> 00:37:50,850 Shit. Sorry. Um... 722 00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:55,689 Excuse me. Sorry. Look out. Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. 723 00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:58,149 Oh, shit. Sorry. 724 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,450 Dax, close that behind you. 725 00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:09,369 Shit! Dax, find the phone. 726 00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:11,121 [PHONE RINGING] 727 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,665 Um, right, you know what? Fuck it, just be quiet. 728 00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,293 - Hello. DAD: Thomas. Are you there? 729 00:38:16,460 --> 00:38:17,919 - Dad, hey. - Where have you been? 730 00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,838 We've been trying your cell all night. 731 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:23,925 - We agreed all my calls would be answered. - I know. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 732 00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:26,553 We were out in the hot tub, so I didn't have it on me. 733 00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:29,014 I don't want to find wet towels when we get home. 734 00:38:29,181 --> 00:38:32,017 - I want to come home to a clean house. - Of course, definitely. 735 00:38:32,184 --> 00:38:35,228 - We were just calling... What was that? - Dude, look at her. 736 00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,355 What was that? Thomas? 737 00:38:37,523 --> 00:38:40,608 Nothing. That was Costa. You're on speakerphone. 738 00:38:40,776 --> 00:38:43,570 We just wanted to call one last time before going to bed... 739 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:46,364 ...make sure you're all set for the night. 740 00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:48,700 Yep, all good. 741 00:38:48,868 --> 00:38:52,329 I'm actually about to go to sleep right now, so... 742 00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:55,248 Great. Well, we'll see you Sunday. Happy birthday, Thomas. 743 00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,001 - Thanks, Dad. Good night. - Good night. 744 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,719 Holy shit. 745 00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:09,888 [CROWD CHEERING] 746 00:39:14,852 --> 00:39:16,394 Fuck, yeah! 747 00:39:16,562 --> 00:39:18,313 BOY: Oh, shit, I think that's his dad. 748 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,733 What? I'm not here to bust anybody. I'm just here to party. 749 00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:23,568 GIRL: Ew! - Come on, "Ew." 750 00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,236 Give me a break. You got a ball? 751 00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:27,197 KIRBY: Yeah, man. - Let's do this. 752 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:30,325 Here we go. Paxson for three. 753 00:39:30,493 --> 00:39:32,035 Whoa, ho, ho, ho! 754 00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:36,247 Up high! Come on, dude, right here. Yeah! 755 00:39:36,415 --> 00:39:38,416 Let me have that. 756 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:43,254 [CROWD LAUGHING AND YELLING] 757 00:39:43,422 --> 00:39:46,174 [NAS' "NASTY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 758 00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:47,384 Hey 759 00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:50,512 Nasty, kid 760 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,430 Hey 761 00:39:52,598 --> 00:39:56,184 What's that, dude? Hold on, I can't fucking hear a thing you're saying. 762 00:39:57,436 --> 00:39:59,104 Speak up, E. 763 00:39:59,271 --> 00:40:02,899 What? E... What the fuck are you doing here? 764 00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:06,111 - What you gonna do about it, bitch? - You're not invited, dickhead. 765 00:40:07,279 --> 00:40:08,655 [BOYS LAUGH] 766 00:40:08,864 --> 00:40:10,573 Fucking asshole. 767 00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:14,619 Bro, what's happening? 768 00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:17,831 EVERETT: Subject is arguing with an overweight woman, most likely his wife. 769 00:40:17,998 --> 00:40:20,959 She wants him to call the police. He wants to handle it himself. 770 00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:23,253 He's drinking. They're in the kitchen. 771 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:25,797 I'm upstairs. Kids are asleep. Over. 772 00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:27,340 Wait, you're in their house? 773 00:40:27,508 --> 00:40:29,092 [STATIC CRACKLING] 774 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,970 Are you fucking kidding me? E, get the fuck out now! 775 00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:35,306 Negative. I'm a ghost. Out. 776 00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:38,351 What the fuck am I gonna do with this kid? 777 00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:39,978 E! E! 778 00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:42,814 [BONDE DO ROLE'S "MARINA DO BAIRRO" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 779 00:40:48,821 --> 00:40:51,823 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 780 00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:12,427 KIRBY: Are you having fun? THOMAS: Yeah, I'm having a good time. 781 00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:14,512 KIRBY: It's pretty fucking crazy. 782 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,350 Oh, my God. 783 00:41:19,518 --> 00:41:21,895 What was wrong with me? 784 00:41:22,062 --> 00:41:25,023 Wow, this was before Costa. 785 00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:27,650 Yeah, the good old days. 786 00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:30,445 Yeah, back when you were still in the crew, right? 787 00:41:32,114 --> 00:41:33,948 You used to be so cute. What happened? 788 00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:35,366 Shut the fuck up. 789 00:41:35,951 --> 00:41:37,535 Still looks like me. 790 00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,878 Was that weird? I'm sorry. Shit, that was weird, wasn't it? 791 00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:49,881 - No, it... It was a little weird. Heh. - Fuck. Um... 792 00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,303 [CROWD BOOING NEARBY] 793 00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:57,388 COSTA: Cops on the way. Get out, everybody! Now! 794 00:41:57,556 --> 00:42:00,058 Everybody in the back! Get in the back now! 795 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:03,853 What, are you over there? Get in the back! Cops are coming! Hurry, let's move! 796 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:08,107 Move it, move it! Let's go! Hurry up! Cops are coming! Everybody in the back! 797 00:42:08,275 --> 00:42:10,902 THOMAS: Costa. Hey, Costa. 798 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:12,487 COSTA: Everybody get in the back! 799 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,905 THOMAS: Hey, what's going on? 800 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:17,408 COSTA: The cops are on their way right now! THOMAS: Oh, shit. 801 00:42:17,576 --> 00:42:22,121 Get in the back now! Everybody move! Let's go! 802 00:42:23,415 --> 00:42:25,667 Keep going! Get in the back now! 803 00:42:26,126 --> 00:42:28,127 TYLER: Get out, police. EVERETT: They're on their way now. 804 00:42:28,295 --> 00:42:30,838 THOMAS: How do you know that? COSTA: Don't ask. My boy's in deep. 805 00:42:31,006 --> 00:42:33,299 Gotta clear this fucking beer out of here. 806 00:42:33,467 --> 00:42:35,260 Damn it. 807 00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:38,972 - Is that everything? THOMAS: Yeah. I got your chalice. 808 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,079 Law enforcement currently on scene. 809 00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:06,124 Standing down, for now. 810 00:43:13,799 --> 00:43:17,385 - I don't hear anything. - No, it doesn't sound like a party. 811 00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:21,306 Not a party that's still going, anyway. 812 00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:25,101 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 813 00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:31,649 Here they come. 814 00:43:31,817 --> 00:43:34,235 - Evening, officers. - Fellas having a party? 815 00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:37,530 Yeah, we're having a small little birthday gathering for my friend. 816 00:43:37,698 --> 00:43:40,325 I'm the friend, my birthday. 817 00:43:40,492 --> 00:43:42,452 Lot of cars for a small party. 818 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:48,875 Shh. 819 00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:51,336 [CROWD MURMURING] 820 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:56,299 The house? Whose is it? 821 00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,217 Is there a problem here, officers? 822 00:43:58,385 --> 00:44:00,345 We have a noise complaint. 823 00:44:00,512 --> 00:44:03,222 - You mind if we look around? - I'd prefer if you didn't. 824 00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:06,225 - We're not asking. - Excuse me, I'm not a lawyer or anything. 825 00:44:06,393 --> 00:44:08,519 Doesn't the law state that you cannot enter... 826 00:44:08,687 --> 00:44:10,938 ...through a private residence without permission? 827 00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,484 Is there an adult here we might speak with? 828 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,403 You're speaking with one. I'm 18 and a half years old, sir. 829 00:44:17,571 --> 00:44:21,199 And, of course, in my culture I've been a man since my 13th birthday. 830 00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:23,701 So you're telling us we cannot come in? 831 00:44:23,869 --> 00:44:26,537 With all due respect, technically the law says you cannot. 832 00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:28,790 But what we're saying is, you may not. 833 00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:32,627 I guess both are true. The law says you cannot because we say you may not. 834 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:36,464 All right, all right. Props on the "can/may" bullshit. Very good. 835 00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:38,049 No doubt. Thank you, sir. 836 00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:41,511 OFFICER 1: Just keep the noise down to a minimum, okay? 837 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,221 Yes, sir. Of course. 838 00:44:43,722 --> 00:44:46,391 Don't make us come back. You know what I mean? 839 00:44:46,558 --> 00:44:49,143 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. Of course. 840 00:44:49,311 --> 00:44:50,395 - Good night. - Officers. 841 00:44:50,562 --> 00:44:51,938 Night. 842 00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:56,901 "Technically the law states..." Damn Internet. 843 00:44:57,277 --> 00:44:59,696 OFFICER 2: Everybody's a fucking attorney. 844 00:45:00,906 --> 00:45:02,740 [ENGINE STARTS] 845 00:45:12,584 --> 00:45:15,586 COSTA: Fuck you. - Dude, Costa. Seriously? 846 00:45:15,754 --> 00:45:16,838 - Fuck you. - Come inside. 847 00:45:17,005 --> 00:45:19,590 Just come inside. Just forget about it. 848 00:45:19,758 --> 00:45:21,426 [CROWD MURMURING AND CHUCKLING] 849 00:45:30,936 --> 00:45:33,271 To the break of dawn, yo! 850 00:45:33,439 --> 00:45:35,189 [ALL CHEERING] 851 00:45:35,357 --> 00:45:39,026 [KID CUDI'S "PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (STEVE AOKI REMIX)" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 852 00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:46,325 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 853 00:47:02,027 --> 00:47:04,362 COSTA: Holy shit! THOMAS: What the fuck are you doing? 854 00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:10,326 Thomas, my cousin can replace the window, no problem. It's all good, man. I promise. 855 00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,843 - Where did you get this? It's my mom's. - Come on, bro. I'm not gonna break it. 856 00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:31,138 [SCREAMING] 857 00:47:32,891 --> 00:47:34,392 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 858 00:47:36,895 --> 00:47:38,896 Throw it in here, nice and low. 859 00:47:39,064 --> 00:47:40,273 [SCREAMING] 860 00:47:50,325 --> 00:47:51,951 [ALL SCREAMING] 861 00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:53,244 GIRL: They're pills! 862 00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:55,079 BOY: It's Ecstasy, bro! 863 00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:57,248 [ALL CLAMORING] 864 00:48:02,087 --> 00:48:03,254 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 865 00:48:07,634 --> 00:48:09,385 You heard about this on Craigslist? 866 00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:12,430 Craigslist, yeah. It's on the thing, on the page, right there. 867 00:48:12,598 --> 00:48:14,807 J. B: Whoa, we are so fucked. 868 00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:17,268 COSTA: Relax, man. J. B: We need to tell Thomas. 869 00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:20,187 COSTA: T-Rick's so burned out, he probably forgot about it already. 870 00:48:20,355 --> 00:48:21,522 J. B: This is bad. 871 00:48:22,482 --> 00:48:25,735 Mom, Dad, it's me, Thomas. 872 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,111 Um... 873 00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:29,864 I'm drunk. I mean, that's not an excuse. 874 00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:35,119 Hopefully we'll meet again, so I can explain things. 875 00:48:35,787 --> 00:48:37,538 I don't really have an explanation... 876 00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:40,416 ...other than fucking Costa made me do it. So... 877 00:48:41,126 --> 00:48:42,126 [BANGING ON DOOR] 878 00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,961 - Fuck off! COSTA: Dude, it's us. 879 00:48:44,129 --> 00:48:45,463 THOMAS: I know. 880 00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:49,717 COSTA: What are you doing in here? The whole party's outside. 881 00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,427 Have you seen my fucking house? 882 00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:54,138 COSTA: We have a whole day to fix this place up. It's all good. 883 00:48:54,306 --> 00:48:59,143 No, it's not all good, okay? I mean, what about this? What if my parents see it? 884 00:48:59,311 --> 00:49:02,104 Nobody's gonna see this shit but us. I promise. 885 00:49:03,982 --> 00:49:06,067 Where did all these people even come from? 886 00:49:06,234 --> 00:49:07,902 You know a guy down there told me... 887 00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:11,072 ...he found out about the party on fucking Craigslist? 888 00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:14,325 My dad met my stepmom on Craigslist. 889 00:49:14,493 --> 00:49:16,661 So you put my address on the fucking Internet? 890 00:49:16,828 --> 00:49:19,538 - Well, not just the Internet. - Shut the fuck up, J. B! 891 00:49:19,706 --> 00:49:21,582 Wait, what the fuck is he talking about? 892 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:25,795 I had Jesse Marco put out an e-mail blast and I may have called a radio station or two. 893 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,254 You motherfuckers! 894 00:49:27,422 --> 00:49:29,674 COSTA: You were so nervous about people not showing up. 895 00:49:29,841 --> 00:49:33,094 Dude, people are spilling shit, breaking shit, probably stealing shit. 896 00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:34,929 It's out of control. 897 00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:38,182 I wasn't nervous. I wanted the party to be big enough to be cool. 898 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:41,686 - Dude, look, back in Queens... - I'm fucking sick of hearing about Queens. 899 00:49:41,853 --> 00:49:44,522 We get it. Queens is awesome. We're pussies. I don't fucking care. 900 00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:46,315 [OVER SPEAKERS] I'm doin' me 901 00:49:46,483 --> 00:49:50,319 I'm livin' life right now, man And this what I'm gonna do 902 00:49:50,862 --> 00:49:52,738 COSTA: Whatever happens, we can make this right. 903 00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:56,117 I'll fix this whole house myself if I have to. 904 00:49:56,284 --> 00:49:59,787 Your parents don't even come home till Sunday. You just need to relax, man. 905 00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:02,999 - You want a massage, bro? - No, no. Just, stop. 906 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:05,126 This is my favorite song, guys. 907 00:50:05,293 --> 00:50:07,211 [OVER SPEAKERS] But my body 908 00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,088 My body's 909 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,008 I can't believe, like, you guys just did this to me. 910 00:50:12,175 --> 00:50:14,051 J. B: We did this for you. 911 00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:18,723 Look, man, I know you're not a drug guy, and I respect that about you. 912 00:50:18,890 --> 00:50:21,392 - But right now, this is what you need. THOMAS: What is it? 913 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,062 COSTA: It's Ecstasy. It'll put the brakes on your little freak-out. Just take it. 914 00:50:25,230 --> 00:50:27,440 [R. KELLY'S "BUMP N' GRIND" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 915 00:50:27,607 --> 00:50:30,568 All right. This won't totally, like, fuck me up, will it? 916 00:50:30,736 --> 00:50:33,988 Of course it will, dude. That's the whole point. 917 00:50:35,532 --> 00:50:36,824 Here. 918 00:50:37,909 --> 00:50:40,494 J. B: Hey. - You get half of one. 919 00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:44,248 Baby 920 00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:46,417 THOMAS: All right, just give me like 10 minutes. 921 00:50:46,585 --> 00:50:47,626 [GROANS] 922 00:50:47,794 --> 00:50:49,587 COSTA: No fucking way, man! 923 00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:52,256 THOMAS: Ow! Get off me. COSTA: This is your night. 924 00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:56,761 Cut the music. Cut it. How's everybody doing? It's your host, Costa. 925 00:50:56,928 --> 00:50:59,764 I'm gonna bring up my best friends, Thomas and J.B. 926 00:50:59,931 --> 00:51:01,599 Get your asses up here right now. 927 00:51:01,767 --> 00:51:03,476 Come on, move your asses. 928 00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,770 Come on, J.B., move your fat ass. 929 00:51:05,937 --> 00:51:09,774 The reason you guys are here tonight is because it's Thomas Kub's birthday. 930 00:51:09,941 --> 00:51:14,028 And we're gonna sing a little "Happy Birthday" for him. One, two, three. 931 00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:18,908 ALL [SINGING]: Happy birthday to you 932 00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:23,788 Happy birthday to you 933 00:51:23,955 --> 00:51:29,251 Happy birthday dear Thomas 934 00:51:29,961 --> 00:51:33,631 Happy birthday to you 935 00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:35,841 [ALL CHEERING] 936 00:51:36,009 --> 00:51:38,886 COSTA: Thanks, everybody, for coming. Let's get the music rocking! 937 00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:41,305 DUDE: Wait up. Wait, wait. 938 00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:46,143 Wait up, wait up. I wanted to do a birthday song too, if I can, Thomas. Is that cool? 939 00:51:46,311 --> 00:51:47,895 [CROWD CHEERS] 940 00:51:48,063 --> 00:51:49,605 THOMAS: It's all right with me, brother. 941 00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:53,651 Will you drop a beat so I can do a birthday rap? Ahem. 942 00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,822 [DJ PLAYING HIP HOP BEAT] 943 00:51:59,407 --> 00:52:01,283 [RAPPING] Yeah Hey, Thomas 944 00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:05,412 Happy birthday You can suck my dick if you thirsty 945 00:52:05,580 --> 00:52:09,500 I'm glad your folks are on vacation I just raided the fridge 946 00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,335 And shit in the kitchen 947 00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:13,963 Jew Pesci, go back to New York 948 00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,841 You look like smorgasbord of dorks 949 00:52:17,008 --> 00:52:19,176 Yeah, and I bet you got baby dick 950 00:52:19,344 --> 00:52:21,846 The kind that got many AIDS and shit 951 00:52:22,013 --> 00:52:25,099 And J.B., what's up? You wanna suck my dick 952 00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:28,185 In the back of your dad's truck You fat fuck 953 00:52:28,353 --> 00:52:31,897 You tub of love I'm gonna put you in the back of the truck 954 00:52:32,065 --> 00:52:34,441 And give you a back tug Yeah 955 00:52:34,609 --> 00:52:35,693 [CROWD BOOS] 956 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:37,027 That's a penis hand job 957 00:52:37,195 --> 00:52:40,531 You look like a little gremlin And a teddy bear had a baby 958 00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:44,827 What? Fuck you guys then, man. You all can suck my dick. 959 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:46,287 Fuck off. 960 00:52:46,746 --> 00:52:48,664 Sorry about that, everybody, that dude's whack. 961 00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:51,917 Get this shit rolling again. Come on DJ Jesse Marco. Run it! 962 00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:54,503 [OVER SPEAKERS] Let's fucking lose it 963 00:52:54,671 --> 00:52:59,258 Get out of your mind 964 00:52:59,426 --> 00:53:02,261 Get out of your mind Fuck that shit 965 00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:06,223 Fuck, yeah! What's up in this bitch? Fuckers. 966 00:53:06,391 --> 00:53:08,893 Hey, baby, what's up? Want some of this? 967 00:53:09,060 --> 00:53:12,104 GIRL: Yeah! LITTLE PERSON: The fuck you guys looking at? 968 00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:14,899 CROWD: Whoa! 969 00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:17,484 - You got something to say? - Buddy, what...? What the... 970 00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:19,612 [CROWD YELLING] 971 00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:26,243 LITTLE PERSON: Let me go! Goddamn it! 972 00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,245 Don't shut that... 973 00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:31,248 Scuffin' shell-toes Is that nigga dead? 974 00:53:31,416 --> 00:53:33,459 Hey, have you seen Thomas? 975 00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:35,294 We're looking for him. 976 00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:38,672 Well, when you find him, can you tell him I've got something for him? 977 00:53:39,424 --> 00:53:40,674 Jump in. 978 00:53:40,842 --> 00:53:43,135 THOMAS: You're breaking the rules, you know. 979 00:53:45,138 --> 00:53:46,764 Ew. Heh. 980 00:53:46,932 --> 00:53:49,308 Why won't you get in with me? 981 00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:53,062 It's just, like, I already went swimming once against my will. 982 00:53:54,689 --> 00:53:56,357 Wetness. 983 00:53:56,733 --> 00:53:58,817 Ha, ha. Whoa. 984 00:53:58,985 --> 00:54:00,903 KIRBY: So, Thomas, are you having fun? 985 00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:03,280 - No. - Not at all? 986 00:54:03,448 --> 00:54:06,116 - Yes. - You look pretty fucked up. 987 00:54:06,284 --> 00:54:08,786 - I'm a little fucked up. - But you look good. 988 00:54:08,954 --> 00:54:11,705 - Have you gotten lucky at all? - I'm pretty lucky right now. 989 00:54:11,873 --> 00:54:13,207 Slow down, dude. 990 00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,209 THOMAS: Fine. Give me that. 991 00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:17,711 - Are you having fun at this party? - So much fun. 992 00:54:17,879 --> 00:54:21,548 It's just that it's a small get-together. It should be basically chill. 993 00:54:21,716 --> 00:54:24,885 THOMAS: Look how chill this is. KIRBY: It's no big deal. I mean, there's two DJ's. 994 00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:28,222 That's not a big deal, right? When do your parents get home? 995 00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:29,807 I don't know. 996 00:54:30,725 --> 00:54:32,643 KIRBY: Thomas? Thomas. Eyes up here. 997 00:54:32,811 --> 00:54:35,312 THOMAS: You have great knees. KIRBY: Thanks. 998 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,898 People don't tell you that enough, Kirby. 999 00:54:38,149 --> 00:54:39,525 COSTA: J.B., get your fat ass up! 1000 00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:42,861 There's a midget in the oven. Let's go. Come on. 1001 00:54:43,029 --> 00:54:44,697 KIRBY: What? THOMAS: What? What did he say? 1002 00:54:44,864 --> 00:54:46,156 I heard, "midget in oven." 1003 00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:48,617 [BANGING] 1004 00:54:49,619 --> 00:54:52,413 COSTA: Move the fuck out of the way! 1005 00:54:52,580 --> 00:54:54,039 Move the fuck out of the way! 1006 00:54:54,207 --> 00:54:57,167 - I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so sor... - Fuck! 1007 00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:59,128 Hey, wrong guy. Wrong guy. 1008 00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:02,381 - My God. Jesus Christ. DAX: No. 1009 00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:08,721 LITTLE PERSON: Motherfucker! Motherfuckers! You fucking cunt! 1010 00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:13,392 Why the balls, man? 1011 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,270 - Anywhere but the fucking balls. - Think about it. 1012 00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:19,440 Our balls are where his eyes are. 1013 00:55:22,027 --> 00:55:23,902 Yo, yo, yo, hey! 1014 00:55:24,070 --> 00:55:28,198 I just heard a rumor that all your balls got attacked by a midget. Is it true? 1015 00:55:28,366 --> 00:55:31,452 Please, please, just tell me it is. I'm praying it fucking is. 1016 00:55:31,619 --> 00:55:34,204 Dude, I can't believe I missed it. 1017 00:55:35,790 --> 00:55:38,542 COSTA: Look at your fucking pupils. 1018 00:55:42,380 --> 00:55:44,214 - I love you guys. J. B: Ha, ha. 1019 00:55:44,382 --> 00:55:45,799 No, seriously. 1020 00:55:45,967 --> 00:55:48,719 Look, I realize I can be, like, a huge dick sometimes... 1021 00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:50,721 ...and I'm really sorry for that. 1022 00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:53,557 - It's okay. - No, it's not. 1023 00:55:54,809 --> 00:55:59,229 J.B., I'm sorry for buying you a bra on your birthday. That wasn't cool. 1024 00:55:59,397 --> 00:56:01,315 It wasn't cool, man. 1025 00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:04,610 And I'm sorry for all the times I called you Fat Fuck. 1026 00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:06,278 J. B: Mm. 1027 00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:09,073 - Chubby Bitch. - Yeah. 1028 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,909 - Fudgy the Whale. - Okay. 1029 00:56:12,077 --> 00:56:14,661 I'm sorry for that time at your brother's Bar Mitzvah... 1030 00:56:14,829 --> 00:56:18,290 ...where I told everyone you look like Rosie O'Donnell, because you don't. 1031 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,542 - I don't. - Hey, guys? 1032 00:56:20,710 --> 00:56:22,419 - What? - Um... 1033 00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:25,214 I hooked up with Kirby. 1034 00:56:26,841 --> 00:56:29,343 I'm, like, really into her. 1035 00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:35,182 Okay, seriously, Thomas, that's, you know, cool and all. 1036 00:56:35,350 --> 00:56:38,268 But she's kind of always been around. 1037 00:56:38,436 --> 00:56:40,979 It's like hooking up with J.B. 1038 00:56:41,648 --> 00:56:43,107 But her tits are smaller. 1039 00:56:43,274 --> 00:56:45,859 - Hey. - I'm just saying. 1040 00:56:46,027 --> 00:56:48,654 Kirby's sort of like one of us. 1041 00:56:48,822 --> 00:56:51,782 You know, tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at. 1042 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:55,577 Tonight's about changing the game. 1043 00:56:55,745 --> 00:56:58,288 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1044 00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:08,502 [ALL CHEERING] 1045 00:59:08,670 --> 00:59:10,712 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1046 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:12,297 [OVER SPEAKERS] Heads will roll 1047 00:59:12,465 --> 00:59:15,801 Heads will roll 1048 00:59:17,178 --> 00:59:18,762 It's crazy out there. 1049 00:59:18,930 --> 00:59:20,597 I haven't seen Tyler in an hour. 1050 00:59:25,311 --> 00:59:27,354 We were slightly out of our league on this mission. 1051 00:59:27,522 --> 00:59:28,855 [DOOR OPENS] 1052 00:59:32,902 --> 00:59:34,736 - Cool room. THOMAS: Thanks. 1053 00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:35,904 [DOOR CLOSES] 1054 00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:37,698 It's a bit messy right now. 1055 00:59:39,033 --> 00:59:40,867 Here, let me... 1056 00:59:42,996 --> 00:59:45,497 [SMALL BLACK'S "DESPICABLE DOGS (WASHED OUT REMIX)" PLAYING] 1057 00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,874 ALEXIS: So it's your birthday. 1058 00:59:48,042 --> 00:59:51,044 THOMAS: Yeah, it's my birthday. 1059 01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,950 Oh. 1060 01:00:24,579 --> 01:00:26,997 I know where they build 'em 1061 01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,626 I know where they're selling long 1062 01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:38,759 Wider than the worst ones Wider than the one I know 1063 01:00:44,557 --> 01:00:50,479 Smoke machine begins to blow 1064 01:00:54,734 --> 01:01:00,781 Lines of water on the floor 1065 01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:10,749 I know you watch 'em I know that you want no more 1066 01:01:14,879 --> 01:01:21,051 Maybe in the factory Maybe in the actual world 1067 01:01:23,388 --> 01:01:24,429 [DOOR OPENS] 1068 01:01:24,597 --> 01:01:26,723 Oh, my God. Thomas? 1069 01:01:26,891 --> 01:01:28,266 THOMAS: Kirby. 1070 01:01:28,434 --> 01:01:30,268 KIRBY: Fuck off. - I'm sorry. Hey, hey, Kirby... 1071 01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:32,854 Thomas, what the fuck? 1072 01:01:33,606 --> 01:01:35,357 Asshole. 1073 01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:39,277 [DOOR CREAKS] 1074 01:01:39,445 --> 01:01:42,614 EVERETT: Would you like a hand with that? - How long have you been in there? 1075 01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:44,449 - Fucking shit! - What are you doing? 1076 01:01:44,617 --> 01:01:46,702 [FIREWORKS WHISTLING] 1077 01:01:46,869 --> 01:01:49,538 [THE KILLS' "CHEAP AND CHEERFUL (SEBASTIAN REMIX)" PLAYING] 1078 01:01:56,295 --> 01:01:57,337 THOMAS: Kirby! 1079 01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,297 Kirby! 1080 01:01:59,465 --> 01:02:01,133 [ENGINE REVVING] 1081 01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:03,593 [PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 1082 01:02:05,888 --> 01:02:07,889 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1083 01:02:19,318 --> 01:02:21,278 [CHEERING] 1084 01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:32,247 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1085 01:02:50,057 --> 01:02:52,225 DAX: Alexis, are you having a good time? 1086 01:02:52,393 --> 01:02:53,685 No. I'm leaving. 1087 01:02:56,063 --> 01:02:58,064 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1088 01:03:06,657 --> 01:03:08,658 [PHONE RINGING] 1089 01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:14,873 DAD [ON RECORDING]: Hi. You've reached the Kub residence. Please, leave a message. 1090 01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:17,209 DAD [OVER PHONE]: Thomas, it's me again. THOMAS: I'm fucked, dude. 1091 01:03:17,376 --> 01:03:21,671 I just got another call. I'm sure the neighbors are exaggerating. 1092 01:03:21,839 --> 01:03:24,382 - Please call me. - Fuck. 1093 01:03:26,010 --> 01:03:27,844 [PHONE RINGING] 1094 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,559 [OVER SPEAKERS] Pretty girls, sunshine in the air 1095 01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:38,355 Perfume everywhere 1096 01:03:38,689 --> 01:03:42,400 Bass to the floor, right now, what's up A lime to a lemon 1097 01:03:42,568 --> 01:03:46,780 Remind you of the sky when I'm fucking And we on cloud nine for that minute 1098 01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:48,990 Your style and your physique 1099 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,536 And I ain't tryin' to critique But you deserve a good drink, so, what's up? 1100 01:03:52,703 --> 01:03:54,704 What you sippin' on? It's no problem 1101 01:03:54,872 --> 01:03:57,916 Black and gold bottles Like I'm pro-New Orleans 1102 01:03:58,084 --> 01:04:03,129 But, shorty, I'm far from a saint But I got two AmEx's that look the same way 1103 01:04:03,297 --> 01:04:08,218 Wale, D.C., that's me, huh My Prada say Prada and they Prada say Fila 1104 01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:10,887 I ain't gotta tell you They know about me, huh 1105 01:04:11,055 --> 01:04:13,640 Come to D.C. And I can make you a believer 1106 01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:16,560 See, baby, I'm a leader Day away from a Libra 1107 01:04:16,727 --> 01:04:19,229 I ain't tryin' to lead you wrong, sugar I need you 1108 01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:21,690 So would you please listen To what I'm gonna need from you 1109 01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:24,150 Live for tonight Before tomorrow's amnesia 1110 01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:29,030 Pretty girls I ask them do they smoke 1111 01:04:29,907 --> 01:04:31,908 COSTA: Holy shit! 1112 01:04:32,910 --> 01:04:34,536 It's fucking insane. 1113 01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:36,705 [ALL CHEERING] 1114 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,297 [ALL CHATTERING] 1115 01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:55,599 Thomas, look at what we did. Epic. 1116 01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,438 Is this big enough to be cool? 1117 01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,149 Game changer. 1118 01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:05,942 [HELICOPTER WHIRRING] 1119 01:05:06,110 --> 01:05:07,777 Holy shit, it's the news. 1120 01:05:09,488 --> 01:05:10,697 [CROWD CHEERING] 1121 01:05:15,369 --> 01:05:16,453 BOY: Dude, that's Thomas! 1122 01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:19,623 ALL [CHANTING]: Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1123 01:05:19,790 --> 01:05:21,708 Are you hearing this? 1124 01:05:21,876 --> 01:05:26,588 Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1125 01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,465 COSTA: This is your fucking party, man. 1126 01:05:29,425 --> 01:05:31,635 You're right, dude. I needed this. 1127 01:05:35,806 --> 01:05:37,015 COSTA: Fuck, yeah! 1128 01:05:40,686 --> 01:05:42,687 [CHANTING CONTINUES] 1129 01:05:42,855 --> 01:05:44,898 [CROWD CHEERING] 1130 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:48,818 Look at me now, bitches! My party is the shit! 1131 01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:52,030 My party is legendary! 1132 01:05:54,533 --> 01:05:56,993 ALL [CHANTING]: Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1133 01:05:57,161 --> 01:05:58,828 - Watch this. J. B: Watch what? 1134 01:05:58,996 --> 01:06:02,999 COSTA: Are you kidding me? THOMAS: Hey, all you bitches. Aah! 1135 01:06:03,167 --> 01:06:04,668 [ALL CHEERING] 1136 01:06:04,835 --> 01:06:07,253 Know me from the you know Boss in my Hugo 1137 01:06:10,216 --> 01:06:12,676 COSTA: Thomas, you crazy motherfucker! I love you! 1138 01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:20,517 ALL [CHANTING]: Jump! Jump! Jump! 1139 01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:23,436 Fuck that shit. I'm not jumping. Fuck that. 1140 01:06:23,854 --> 01:06:26,231 Jump! Jump! Jump! 1141 01:06:29,485 --> 01:06:31,987 To my family members, all my friends on Facebook... 1142 01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:33,697 COSTA: What? - It's been a great ride. 1143 01:06:33,864 --> 01:06:36,950 - Costa, hold on to these. - J.B., don't do it, man. 1144 01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:38,868 - You're way too fat. - Shut up. 1145 01:06:45,501 --> 01:06:46,876 THOMAS: Yeah! 1146 01:06:47,044 --> 01:06:49,045 [CHANTING CONTINUES] 1147 01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:53,299 [CHEERING] 1148 01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:56,845 J. B: Oh, my God! 1149 01:06:57,054 --> 01:06:58,054 [J.B. SCREAMS] 1150 01:06:58,264 --> 01:06:59,556 [CROWD GROANS] 1151 01:06:59,724 --> 01:07:01,975 COSTA: J.B., you all right, man? 1152 01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:05,061 - J.B., you all right? J. B: Ha-ha-ha! 1153 01:07:05,229 --> 01:07:07,564 [ALL CHEERING] 1154 01:07:16,073 --> 01:07:17,157 This is Falcon One. 1155 01:07:17,324 --> 01:07:20,285 I was just attacked by this really sexy woman. 1156 01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:23,079 We've lost all control. The house was breached hours ago. 1157 01:07:23,247 --> 01:07:24,748 Chaos has spread to the streets. 1158 01:07:24,915 --> 01:07:27,667 And the police are returning in force. We're clearly outnumbered. 1159 01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:29,335 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 1160 01:07:30,046 --> 01:07:31,713 [PEOPLE YELLING] 1161 01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:37,719 God, help us. 1162 01:07:37,887 --> 01:07:39,888 [SIRENS WAILING] 1163 01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:44,893 BOY: Assholes! 1164 01:07:46,937 --> 01:07:48,938 [CROWD BOOING AND SHOUTING] 1165 01:07:53,444 --> 01:07:57,363 ALL [CHANTING]: Cops go home! Cops go home! Cops go home! 1166 01:07:57,531 --> 01:07:59,449 OFFICER [OVER MEGAPHONE]: This is the police. 1167 01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:03,286 Disperse peacefully and immediately or you will be subject to arrest. 1168 01:08:03,454 --> 01:08:04,829 [CHANTING CONTINUES] 1169 01:08:08,375 --> 01:08:09,459 [CHUCKLING] 1170 01:08:09,627 --> 01:08:11,169 [BANGING] 1171 01:08:14,215 --> 01:08:15,965 OFFICER: In need of immediate assistance. 1172 01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:19,260 Drive, drive, drive! 1173 01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:24,224 Requesting backup, all units... 1174 01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,810 [ALL SHOUTING AND CHEERING] 1175 01:08:29,313 --> 01:08:30,814 [YELLING] 1176 01:08:41,992 --> 01:08:43,034 COSTA: Holy shit! 1177 01:08:43,202 --> 01:08:45,120 I jumped off the house on purpose. 1178 01:08:46,580 --> 01:08:48,832 [PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 1179 01:08:48,999 --> 01:08:51,167 REPORTER 1 [ON TV]: Chaos has broken out in the Southland... 1180 01:08:51,335 --> 01:08:55,880 ...where this normally quiet residential street has turned into anarchy. 1181 01:08:57,091 --> 01:08:59,008 [ALL CHEERING] 1182 01:09:05,516 --> 01:09:08,852 I'm joined now by Captain Reesman of the Police Department. 1183 01:09:09,019 --> 01:09:12,147 We'll have to let this thing burn out before we even think about moving back in. 1184 01:09:12,314 --> 01:09:14,357 [ALL CHEERING] 1185 01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,032 Good evening, uh, this is... This is Dax. 1186 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:07,035 [CRASHING & WOMAN MOANING] 1187 01:10:07,953 --> 01:10:10,413 I'm inside the belly of the beast. 1188 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,291 I don't have words for some of the things I've seen. 1189 01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:17,212 Pfft. A lot of people don't know this simple fact, but this is actually... 1190 01:10:17,379 --> 01:10:20,632 It's the first party I've ever attended and you... 1191 01:10:20,799 --> 01:10:24,552 Perhaps tonight is just business as usual, but something tells me, no, it's not. 1192 01:10:27,890 --> 01:10:28,932 [GIRL SCREAMS] 1193 01:10:30,684 --> 01:10:32,769 THOMAS: Shit, that's my dad's car. J. B: Shit, dude. 1194 01:10:32,978 --> 01:10:34,020 [HORN HONKS] 1195 01:10:34,188 --> 01:10:35,271 THOMAS: Oh, shit. 1196 01:10:41,862 --> 01:10:43,905 Oh, shit! 1197 01:10:55,417 --> 01:10:57,669 COSTA: Are you kidding me? 1198 01:11:00,673 --> 01:11:02,924 - What are you doing? - What? 1199 01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:04,717 Fuck your car! 1200 01:11:06,053 --> 01:11:07,387 [BOY SCREAMS] 1201 01:11:07,554 --> 01:11:08,680 LITTLE PERSON: Motherfuckers! 1202 01:11:10,474 --> 01:11:13,518 COSTA: Oh, my God, Thomas, we're fucked. 1203 01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:15,645 I don't know how to fix this. 1204 01:11:16,897 --> 01:11:19,399 I don't know how to fix any of this shit. 1205 01:11:19,566 --> 01:11:23,695 I'm sorry, Thomas. I just wanted to get some pussy. 1206 01:11:23,862 --> 01:11:26,906 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 1207 01:11:27,074 --> 01:11:30,368 And something's just happening right now. I've heard a commotion. 1208 01:11:30,536 --> 01:11:32,245 [ALL CLAMORING] 1209 01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:33,871 MAN: Holy shit! 1210 01:11:37,751 --> 01:11:39,544 COSTA: What the fuck is that? 1211 01:11:39,712 --> 01:11:41,045 THOMAS: Whoa! 1212 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:45,425 OFFICER 1 [OVER RADIO]: Outside visual on subject with... 1213 01:11:45,592 --> 01:11:47,176 OFFICER 2: Everybody, back! 1214 01:11:50,347 --> 01:11:51,931 THOMAS: Fuck! You guys, come on! 1215 01:11:52,099 --> 01:11:54,559 COSTA: Come on, get the fuck out of here! Move! - Come on! 1216 01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,353 COSTA: Go! Shit! THOMAS: Come on! 1217 01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:00,565 Whoa! What the fuck, dude! Get down! 1218 01:12:00,733 --> 01:12:02,692 - Holy shit! Look out. COSTA: Shit! What the fuck? 1219 01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:04,110 [YELLING] 1220 01:12:04,278 --> 01:12:08,072 OFFICER 1: Subject is armed and active. MAN: Oh, my fucking God. 1221 01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:12,368 REPORTER 2: Police are on scene in riot gear. SWAT officers are rushing forward. 1222 01:12:12,536 --> 01:12:14,620 DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO]: All units hold for SWAT team arrival. 1223 01:12:17,916 --> 01:12:19,876 THOMAS: Fuck! COSTA: Holy shit, dude, it's T-Rick! 1224 01:12:20,044 --> 01:12:23,880 - What the fuck is he doing? T-RICK: Costa! 1225 01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:27,383 Give me back my fucking gnome! 1226 01:12:27,551 --> 01:12:30,803 - Give it to him. Where is it? - It was full of Ecstasy. Everyone ate it! 1227 01:12:30,971 --> 01:12:33,848 T-RICK: Where the fuck is Costa? 1228 01:12:34,016 --> 01:12:35,850 OFFICER 1: Subject is advancing. 1229 01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,898 COSTA: Whoa, shit! 1230 01:12:43,567 --> 01:12:44,609 OFFICER 3: This is the police... 1231 01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:46,486 OFFICER 1: Approach with extreme caution. 1232 01:12:46,653 --> 01:12:49,947 OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon and put your hands in the air. 1233 01:12:50,115 --> 01:12:52,825 OFFICER 4: Get down! Show me your hands! OFFICER 5: Put down your weapon! 1234 01:12:52,993 --> 01:12:55,203 REPORTER 2: Police are now firing rubber bullets. 1235 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:56,788 OFFICER 5: Drop it now! OFFICER 4: Back up, back up! 1236 01:12:56,955 --> 01:12:57,997 OFFICER 6: Get back! 1237 01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:00,792 OFFICER 1: Suspect is firing at officers. 1238 01:13:01,293 --> 01:13:04,045 - Fuck this. COSTA: Where are you going? Get back here! 1239 01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:05,338 J. B: Dude, Thomas, no! 1240 01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:08,007 Look, T-Rick, we can fix this. Okay, man? 1241 01:13:08,175 --> 01:13:09,217 T-RICK: Fuck you! 1242 01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:12,678 You burn me, I burn you! 1243 01:13:12,846 --> 01:13:14,514 COSTA: Thomas, get back here, dude! 1244 01:13:14,681 --> 01:13:16,224 Costa, you motherfucker! 1245 01:13:16,392 --> 01:13:18,643 OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon. Put your hands in the air. 1246 01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:19,936 OFFICER 7: Go, go, go! - Shit! 1247 01:13:20,104 --> 01:13:21,979 OFFICER 3: Put down your weapon. 1248 01:13:22,147 --> 01:13:23,981 OFFICER 8: Yeah. Now. Take the shot! 1249 01:13:24,149 --> 01:13:25,358 COSTA: Get the fuck out of here! 1250 01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:27,026 Go! 1251 01:13:28,529 --> 01:13:29,987 OFFICER 9: Get back. Get back! 1252 01:13:30,697 --> 01:13:31,864 THOMAS: Fuck. Oh, my God. 1253 01:13:32,032 --> 01:13:33,699 OFFICER 1: Still active and on the move. 1254 01:13:33,867 --> 01:13:35,660 [T-RICK YELLING] 1255 01:13:35,869 --> 01:13:37,370 Heading toward residence. 1256 01:13:39,706 --> 01:13:41,541 COSTA: Holy shit! 1257 01:13:41,708 --> 01:13:44,043 [CAR ALARMS WAILING] 1258 01:13:44,211 --> 01:13:46,254 OFFICER 3: This is the police. 1259 01:13:47,131 --> 01:13:49,215 Disperse immediately. 1260 01:13:49,967 --> 01:13:51,050 Oh, my God. 1261 01:13:51,218 --> 01:13:53,886 OFFICER 3: Disperse immediately or you will be subject to arrest. 1262 01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:56,222 This is the police. 1263 01:14:00,894 --> 01:14:03,396 - We gotta get out of here. - I can't leave my house. 1264 01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,440 The house is gone, man. It's fucking over. 1265 01:14:05,607 --> 01:14:08,359 - Where's Milo? OFFICER 3: This is the police. 1266 01:14:13,490 --> 01:14:15,575 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 1267 01:14:15,784 --> 01:14:17,910 Disperse immediately. 1268 01:14:18,078 --> 01:14:20,246 [ALL SCREAMING AND SHOUTING] 1269 01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:24,041 COSTA: Go, go! 1270 01:14:25,127 --> 01:14:27,253 THOMAS: I hear him here. 1271 01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:30,506 What the fuck are you doing? The dog's not gonna be in that drawer. 1272 01:14:30,674 --> 01:14:33,009 Here he is! I got him! Motherfuckers! 1273 01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:34,719 COSTA: Come on, let's go. Move! 1274 01:14:34,887 --> 01:14:36,846 [GRENADES EXPLODING] 1275 01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:44,270 REPORTER 2: It's complete chaos out here. 1276 01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:48,357 Police are using flash-bang grenades to try and disperse this crowd. 1277 01:14:48,525 --> 01:14:49,775 OFFICER 3: This is the police. 1278 01:14:49,943 --> 01:14:52,278 Disperse immediately. 1279 01:14:52,446 --> 01:14:55,948 If you do not disperse immediately, you will be subject to arrest. 1280 01:14:57,784 --> 01:14:59,118 Go! Go! 1281 01:14:59,286 --> 01:15:02,747 REPORTER 2: Police are now mobilizing. Fire helicopters have been brought in. 1282 01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:05,750 They're dropping water to put this blaze out. 1283 01:15:15,302 --> 01:15:18,513 OFFICER 1: Scene in progress, 50 yards ahead of IC. Officers need assistance. 1284 01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:20,473 COSTA: Holy shit! 1285 01:15:20,641 --> 01:15:23,100 EVERETT: Tyler, I need you! Pull it together! 1286 01:15:23,268 --> 01:15:25,895 [GRENADES EXPLODING] 1287 01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:28,147 Civilians 50 yards ahead on Dickens. 1288 01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:32,652 - Officers engaged with riot... - What is going on? 1289 01:15:32,819 --> 01:15:35,029 - Stay down. Stay down. - Fuck! Shit! 1290 01:15:36,865 --> 01:15:38,366 THOMAS: Milo! 1291 01:15:39,284 --> 01:15:40,993 - Dude, Milo! ROB: Hey, Oliver! 1292 01:15:41,161 --> 01:15:42,787 Great party, buddy. 1293 01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,664 You owe me a tree, you piece of shit. 1294 01:15:44,831 --> 01:15:49,210 All we're doing is trying to have a good time, you cocksucking motherfucker! 1295 01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:52,630 You know where you're going? You're going to jail, you motherfucker! 1296 01:15:52,798 --> 01:15:57,552 Yeah! That's my boys! Suck my dick, Robert! Suck my fucking dick! 1297 01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:04,308 THOMAS: Fuck! Shit! 1298 01:16:04,476 --> 01:16:07,520 Black sedan. License plate... We've got a hit-and-run. 1299 01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,982 THOMAS: Go, go, go! COSTA: Run! Run! 1300 01:16:11,149 --> 01:16:12,984 DISPATCHER: Unit 23, what's your status? 1301 01:16:17,781 --> 01:16:21,200 OFFICER 1: Skirmish line, be advised, officer down, officer down. 1302 01:16:28,208 --> 01:16:30,543 [SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE] 1303 01:16:39,970 --> 01:16:44,015 EVERETT: He's home alone. He's been up all night, so he's probably gonna crash soon. 1304 01:16:44,182 --> 01:16:47,893 We wait about an hour to make sure he's asleep, then we make our move. 1305 01:16:48,061 --> 01:16:50,938 We go in the back, break Rob's door down, and torch the house. 1306 01:16:51,106 --> 01:16:53,190 - Yeah. COSTA: What the fuck are you talking about? 1307 01:16:53,358 --> 01:16:56,527 The guy has a wife and a baby. You're not gonna burn his house down. 1308 01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:58,821 He called the cops on us. He ruined everything. 1309 01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:03,367 It's 6 in the morning, man. Let it go. It's over. 1310 01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,828 Just go home. 1311 01:17:12,252 --> 01:17:13,919 What about our money? 1312 01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:19,216 The house is trashed. You're the worst security ever. 1313 01:17:30,562 --> 01:17:32,229 You guys should go home too. 1314 01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:36,442 You gonna be okay, man? 1315 01:17:36,943 --> 01:17:39,779 THOMAS: Yeah, I'm just gonna hang here with Milo for a bit. 1316 01:17:45,452 --> 01:17:46,452 COSTA: All right. 1317 01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,121 I'm gonna go home... 1318 01:17:50,082 --> 01:17:53,876 ...have a good cry, and start calling some lawyers. 1319 01:17:55,629 --> 01:17:58,464 Thomas, whatever happens, man... 1320 01:17:59,549 --> 01:18:02,426 ...that was one fucking hell of a night. 1321 01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:05,304 Come on, J.B., let's bounce. 1322 01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:32,081 You can go too, Dax. 1323 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,919 DAX: Thanks, Thomas. 1324 01:18:37,295 --> 01:18:39,714 I had a really fun time. 1325 01:18:41,675 --> 01:18:43,592 You'll be all right. 1326 01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:01,444 BEAN [ON RADIO]: Kevin and Bean from the world-famous KROQ. 1327 01:19:01,611 --> 01:19:05,531 Can we talk about this insanity in Pasadena last night? 1328 01:19:05,699 --> 01:19:07,533 KEVIN: It looked like the greatest party ever. 1329 01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:09,535 BIG BOY: Big Boy's neighborhood, beautiful day. 1330 01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,121 It is going down. I don't know if you seen the news. 1331 01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,375 But some cats had a party in Pasadena and took this thing to the whole next level. 1332 01:19:16,543 --> 01:19:20,546 I'm talking about, they trashed the neighborhood. They trashed the house. 1333 01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:22,757 We heard that Kanye made an appearance there. 1334 01:19:22,924 --> 01:19:26,427 Yeah, so if you were there at the party in Pasadena last night, hit us up... 1335 01:19:26,595 --> 01:19:30,306 ...because we're gonna be talking about it all morning long in the neighborhood. 1336 01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:38,105 - I really am sorry. - You said that already. 1337 01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:44,904 Do you have any idea how much all this is gonna cost, Thomas? 1338 01:19:47,365 --> 01:19:50,034 Your college fund is gone, I can tell you that. 1339 01:19:51,995 --> 01:19:54,580 - Yeah. Dad, I'm sorry. - You had so much going for you... 1340 01:19:54,748 --> 01:19:59,084 ...and you just pissed it all away for one night? 1341 01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,045 [DAD SIGHS] 1342 01:20:03,256 --> 01:20:05,591 I just didn't think you had it in you. 1343 01:20:08,303 --> 01:20:11,847 Well, I know. I'm sorry I let you down. 1344 01:20:12,098 --> 01:20:13,641 No. 1345 01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:19,939 I literally didn't think that you had this in you. 1346 01:20:23,443 --> 01:20:26,946 So, uh, how many people were here? 1347 01:20:27,614 --> 01:20:29,073 Uh... 1348 01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:32,159 Fifteen hundred. 1349 01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:35,704 Couple thousand, maybe. 1350 01:20:36,456 --> 01:20:37,790 Wow. 1351 01:20:39,292 --> 01:20:41,252 You should've seen it. 1352 01:20:44,548 --> 01:20:46,423 It was awesome. 1353 01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:51,971 Well, you're still fucked, Thomas. 1354 01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:06,068 [DR. DRE'S "THE NEXT EPISODE" PLAYING ON CAR RADIO] 1355 01:21:06,236 --> 01:21:07,695 It's the motherfucking D-O-double-G 1356 01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:09,738 Snoop Dogg 1357 01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:13,325 You know I'm mobbin' with the D-R-E 1358 01:21:13,493 --> 01:21:15,452 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know who's back... 1359 01:21:15,620 --> 01:21:16,704 [MUSIC STOPS] 1360 01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:18,914 Well, at least the van looks gangster now. 1361 01:21:19,082 --> 01:21:22,459 Dude, don't even start, okay? My dad's making me drive it as punishment. 1362 01:21:22,627 --> 01:21:24,336 That sucks. 1363 01:21:24,504 --> 01:21:27,673 Yeah, and I'm being brought up on like six different charges. 1364 01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,967 My mom hasn't stopped crying. 1365 01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:32,511 We're living at a Courtyard Marriott right now. 1366 01:21:32,679 --> 01:21:34,847 I'm basically on house arrest until my hearing. 1367 01:21:35,015 --> 01:21:36,724 I'm not supposed to talk to you guys. 1368 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:40,352 My parents are convinced this is totally gonna be fucking my college plans. 1369 01:21:40,520 --> 01:21:42,730 Your grades are fucking up your college plans. 1370 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:45,900 My dad got me a lawyer. Even that Jew thinks we're fucked. 1371 01:21:46,067 --> 01:21:48,861 - Thinks we could actually do time for this. J. B: Jesus. 1372 01:21:49,029 --> 01:21:51,280 What about you, Dax? What did your parents say? 1373 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,033 Oh, I live alone, actually. 1374 01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,786 You're really starting to fucking scare me. 1375 01:21:59,873 --> 01:22:01,874 Yo, what up, Kub? 1376 01:22:04,544 --> 01:22:06,211 BOY 1: What's going on, man? 1377 01:22:06,379 --> 01:22:08,005 BOY 2: That's him. 1378 01:22:08,214 --> 01:22:10,549 [STUDENTS CHATTERING] 1379 01:22:11,885 --> 01:22:12,968 Hey, Costa. 1380 01:22:13,136 --> 01:22:15,554 - Hi, Thomas. COSTA: Thank you. 1381 01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,556 Thank you. 1382 01:22:19,601 --> 01:22:22,728 BOY 3: Yo, you guys, Thomas. That party was dope. 1383 01:22:22,896 --> 01:22:24,897 THOMAS: Thank you, man. BOY 3: No, thank you, man. 1384 01:22:25,065 --> 01:22:26,565 You guys rock. 1385 01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:29,276 [STUDENTS CHEERING] 1386 01:22:31,905 --> 01:22:32,988 Thank you. 1387 01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:36,158 BOY 4: J. B! 1388 01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:40,329 ALL [CHANTING]: Thomas! Thomas! Thomas! 1389 01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:48,754 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1390 01:22:58,098 --> 01:22:59,640 THOMAS: Kirby, wait. 1391 01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:02,434 Kirby. 1392 01:23:03,269 --> 01:23:06,355 - Hey. - Hey, look, I just wanted to talk to you. 1393 01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:10,192 - There's really nothing to talk about. - Wait. Please, can I just explain? 1394 01:23:10,568 --> 01:23:11,944 It's not that complicated. 1395 01:23:12,445 --> 01:23:16,573 What you did was really not cool. 1396 01:23:17,867 --> 01:23:19,702 It really hurt me. 1397 01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:22,079 Kirby, I'm really sorry about what happened. 1398 01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:24,748 I didn't know how to handle it. 1399 01:23:26,376 --> 01:23:29,461 But I think I do now and that's why I'm here. 1400 01:23:32,215 --> 01:23:35,467 My life right now, it's totally ruined. 1401 01:23:35,635 --> 01:23:39,096 Okay? I practically burned down my whole neighborhood. 1402 01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:43,142 Probably bankrupt my parents. I'll be in debt until I die. 1403 01:23:43,309 --> 01:23:46,478 But the only thing that I care about fixing right now is this. 1404 01:23:46,646 --> 01:23:47,938 So, I'm sorry. 1405 01:23:49,524 --> 01:23:52,067 If you're still mad, I get it... 1406 01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:56,071 ...but if you are talking to me by my next birthday... 1407 01:23:56,239 --> 01:23:59,158 ...I'd really like to spend it with just you. 1408 01:24:07,792 --> 01:24:09,293 Oh, you're... 1409 01:24:16,342 --> 01:24:18,427 So we're cool again? 1410 01:24:18,595 --> 01:24:20,971 I never said you were cool. 1411 01:24:34,027 --> 01:24:37,654 So you know this high school party in Pasadena that turned into a riot, right? 1412 01:24:37,822 --> 01:24:40,991 The kid actually burned his parents' house down. Can you imagi...? 1413 01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:43,786 Do you know how many chores it's gonna take to make up for... 1414 01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:45,287 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 1415 01:24:45,455 --> 01:24:48,874 He'll be taking the trash out nine times a day for the rest of his life. 1416 01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:53,295 REPORTER: The person who caused the early morning fire and explosion here... 1417 01:24:53,463 --> 01:24:57,216 ...has survived his injuries... T-RICK: Costa! 1418 01:24:57,383 --> 01:25:00,177 We moved to a place like Pasadena to avoid stuff like this. 1419 01:25:00,345 --> 01:25:03,430 Some asshole puked all over my front door. 1420 01:25:03,598 --> 01:25:07,684 Do these kids even have parents? It's ridiculous, right? 1421 01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:11,146 Have you seen the footage? Let me tell you. 1422 01:25:11,314 --> 01:25:15,526 I haven't seen that many teenage boobs since R. Kelly's birthday party. 1423 01:25:19,739 --> 01:25:21,740 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1424 01:26:03,074 --> 01:26:08,579 Joining us now live is one Pasadena teen who's recently drawn a lot of notice... 1425 01:26:08,746 --> 01:26:10,622 ...for throwing what people are calling... 1426 01:26:10,790 --> 01:26:13,876 ...possibly the most epic high-school party of all time. 1427 01:26:14,043 --> 01:26:17,921 Costa, before we begin, is there anything that you would like to say to the viewers? 1428 01:26:18,089 --> 01:26:19,256 In fact, I would. 1429 01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:22,551 You said it was perhaps the most epic party of all time. 1430 01:26:22,719 --> 01:26:25,053 It was the most epic party of all time. 1431 01:26:25,221 --> 01:26:28,724 Okay. I was thinking more along the lines of an apology. 1432 01:26:28,892 --> 01:26:30,309 Would you like to apologize? 1433 01:26:30,476 --> 01:26:33,478 I got a better idea. How about I invite you to my next party? 1434 01:26:33,980 --> 01:26:35,981 - What? - Yeah, you heard me, sugar-tits. 1435 01:26:36,149 --> 01:26:37,983 Just make sure you wear something tight. 1436 01:32:54,277 --> 01:32:56,278 [English - US - SDH]