1 00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:12,243 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ANDY: COMING TO YOU FROM THE 2 00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:14,144 ♪ ANDY: COMING TO YOU FROM THE HISTORIC LARGO THEATER IN LOS 3 00:00:14,146 --> 00:00:17,047 ANDY: COMING TO YOU FROM THE HISTORIC LARGO THEATER IN LOS ANGELES, IT'S "CONAN"! 4 00:00:17,049 --> 00:00:20,651 HISTORIC LARGO THEATER IN LOS ANGELES, IT'S "CONAN"! I'M ANDY RICHTER. 5 00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,920 ANGELES, IT'S "CONAN"! I'M ANDY RICHTER. TONIGHT, KYRA SEDGWICK. 6 00:00:22,922 --> 00:00:25,522 I'M ANDY RICHTER. TONIGHT, KYRA SEDGWICK. AND NOW, HERE HE IS, CONAN 7 00:00:25,524 --> 00:00:27,925 TONIGHT, KYRA SEDGWICK. AND NOW, HERE HE IS, CONAN O'BRIEN! 8 00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:30,594 AND NOW, HERE HE IS, CONAN O'BRIEN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 9 00:00:30,596 --> 00:00:32,062 O'BRIEN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] CONAN: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 10 00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:33,597 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] CONAN: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. TONIGHT I DECIDED TO COME OUT 11 00:00:33,599 --> 00:00:35,666 CONAN: THANK YOU VERY MUCH. TONIGHT I DECIDED TO COME OUT WITH GREAT DIGNITY. 12 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,033 TONIGHT I DECIDED TO COME OUT WITH GREAT DIGNITY. AND I THINK MISSION 13 00:00:37,035 --> 00:00:37,434 WITH GREAT DIGNITY. AND I THINK MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 14 00:00:37,436 --> 00:00:38,335 AND I THINK MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. THAT'S ALL I'LL SAY. 15 00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:39,270 ACCOMPLISHED. THAT'S ALL I'LL SAY. I THINK I LOOKED GREAT. 16 00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,271 THAT'S ALL I'LL SAY. I THINK I LOOKED GREAT. WE HAVE A TERRIFIC PROGRAM 17 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:42,005 I THINK I LOOKED GREAT. WE HAVE A TERRIFIC PROGRAM TONIGHT. 18 00:00:42,007 --> 00:00:42,539 WE HAVE A TERRIFIC PROGRAM TONIGHT. KYRA SEDGWICK. 19 00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,007 TONIGHT. KYRA SEDGWICK. I ALWAYS LOVED TALKING TO KYRA 20 00:00:44,009 --> 00:00:46,009 KYRA SEDGWICK. I ALWAYS LOVED TALKING TO KYRA SEDGWICK. 21 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:47,144 I ALWAYS LOVED TALKING TO KYRA SEDGWICK. SHE HAS A NEW SHOW AND I'LL BE 22 00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:48,645 SEDGWICK. SHE HAS A NEW SHOW AND I'LL BE TALKING TO HER AND ANDY RICHTER 23 00:00:48,647 --> 00:00:49,679 SHE HAS A NEW SHOW AND I'LL BE TALKING TO HER AND ANDY RICHTER JOINING ME. 24 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:52,082 TALKING TO HER AND ANDY RICHTER JOINING ME. ANDY, DID YOU SEE THAT I CAME 25 00:00:52,084 --> 00:00:53,717 JOINING ME. ANDY, DID YOU SEE THAT I CAME OUT TONIGHT WITH GREAT DIGNITY? 26 00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:54,351 ANDY, DID YOU SEE THAT I CAME OUT TONIGHT WITH GREAT DIGNITY? ANDY: I ACTUALLY WASN'T 27 00:00:54,353 --> 00:00:54,885 OUT TONIGHT WITH GREAT DIGNITY? ANDY: I ACTUALLY WASN'T WATCHING. 28 00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:57,387 ANDY: I ACTUALLY WASN'T WATCHING. I WAS PUTTING MY PHONE AWAY. 29 00:00:57,389 --> 00:01:00,924 WATCHING. I WAS PUTTING MY PHONE AWAY. CONAN: IT'S -- THE SHOW IS SO 30 00:01:00,926 --> 00:01:01,091 I WAS PUTTING MY PHONE AWAY. CONAN: IT'S -- THE SHOW IS SO SHORT. 31 00:01:01,093 --> 00:01:03,093 CONAN: IT'S -- THE SHOW IS SO SHORT. AND THE PART WHERE I COME OUT 32 00:01:03,095 --> 00:01:04,094 SHORT. AND THE PART WHERE I COME OUT FEELS LIKE KIND OF CRUCIAL. 33 00:01:04,096 --> 00:01:05,295 AND THE PART WHERE I COME OUT FEELS LIKE KIND OF CRUCIAL. THIS IS THE CRUCIAL PART OF THE 34 00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:05,762 FEELS LIKE KIND OF CRUCIAL. THIS IS THE CRUCIAL PART OF THE SHOW. 35 00:01:05,764 --> 00:01:06,263 THIS IS THE CRUCIAL PART OF THE SHOW. ANDY: RIGHT. 36 00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:07,197 SHOW. ANDY: RIGHT. CONAN: AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT 37 00:01:07,199 --> 00:01:09,266 ANDY: RIGHT. CONAN: AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WEREN'T EVEN PAYING 38 00:01:09,268 --> 00:01:10,501 CONAN: AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WEREN'T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION. 39 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:11,969 YOU WEREN'T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION. ANDY: MAYBE IT WAS DEFERENCE 40 00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:13,270 ATTENTION. ANDY: MAYBE IT WAS DEFERENCE BECAUSE IT'S TOO HARD TO LOOK 41 00:01:13,272 --> 00:01:16,307 ANDY: MAYBE IT WAS DEFERENCE BECAUSE IT'S TOO HARD TO LOOK AT YOU LIKE THE SUN, YOU KNOW? 42 00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,542 BECAUSE IT'S TOO HARD TO LOOK AT YOU LIKE THE SUN, YOU KNOW? LIKE MAYBE IT'S -- LIKE TOO 43 00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:20,311 AT YOU LIKE THE SUN, YOU KNOW? LIKE MAYBE IT'S -- LIKE TOO MUCH WHEN YOU STEP OUT FROM THE 44 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:23,213 LIKE MAYBE IT'S -- LIKE TOO MUCH WHEN YOU STEP OUT FROM THE CURTAIN ALL THAT MAGNETISM AT 45 00:01:23,215 --> 00:01:24,915 MUCH WHEN YOU STEP OUT FROM THE CURTAIN ALL THAT MAGNETISM AT ONCE? 46 00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:27,818 CURTAIN ALL THAT MAGNETISM AT ONCE? I WASN'T PUTTING MY PHONE AWAY. 47 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:28,785 ONCE? I WASN'T PUTTING MY PHONE AWAY. THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. 48 00:01:28,787 --> 00:01:29,987 I WASN'T PUTTING MY PHONE AWAY. THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. CONAN: I'M GETTING MORE ENERGY 49 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:32,355 THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. CONAN: I'M GETTING MORE ENERGY AND GOODWILL FROM THE CARDBOARD 50 00:01:32,357 --> 00:01:33,724 CONAN: I'M GETTING MORE ENERGY AND GOODWILL FROM THE CARDBOARD CUTOUTS THAN FROM YOU RIGHT 51 00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:34,024 AND GOODWILL FROM THE CARDBOARD CUTOUTS THAN FROM YOU RIGHT NOW. 52 00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:35,392 CUTOUTS THAN FROM YOU RIGHT NOW. ANDY: WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW YOU 53 00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:37,828 NOW. ANDY: WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW YOU AS WELL AS I DO! 54 00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:38,895 ANDY: WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW YOU AS WELL AS I DO! [LAUGHTER] 55 00:01:38,897 --> 00:01:39,730 AS WELL AS I DO! [LAUGHTER] CONAN: GUESS WHAT? 56 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:40,697 [LAUGHTER] CONAN: GUESS WHAT? THEY'RE GETTING TO. 57 00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:41,565 CONAN: GUESS WHAT? THEY'RE GETTING TO. ANDY: THAT IS TRUE. 58 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:42,599 THEY'RE GETTING TO. ANDY: THAT IS TRUE. CONAN: IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF 59 00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:44,734 ANDY: THAT IS TRUE. CONAN: IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW AND THE CUTOUTS ARE 60 00:01:44,736 --> 00:01:47,271 CONAN: IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW AND THE CUTOUTS ARE LIKE MAN, HE'S NEEDY. 61 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:48,772 MONTHS NOW AND THE CUTOUTS ARE LIKE MAN, HE'S NEEDY. WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING I DID 62 00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:49,806 LIKE MAN, HE'S NEEDY. WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING I DID WANT TO TALK ABOUT. 63 00:01:49,808 --> 00:01:53,010 WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING I DID WANT TO TALK ABOUT. HERE IN LOS ANGELES COVID 64 00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:53,610 WANT TO TALK ABOUT. HERE IN LOS ANGELES COVID VACCINES ARE BEING SLOWLY 65 00:01:53,612 --> 00:01:56,913 HERE IN LOS ANGELES COVID VACCINES ARE BEING SLOWLY DISTRIBUTED TO PEOPLE 65 AND 66 00:01:56,915 --> 00:01:57,181 VACCINES ARE BEING SLOWLY DISTRIBUTED TO PEOPLE 65 AND OLDER. 67 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,750 DISTRIBUTED TO PEOPLE 65 AND OLDER. BUT ACCORDING TO A RECENT 68 00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:02,385 OLDER. BUT ACCORDING TO A RECENT ARTICLE, SOME PEOPLE UNDER 65 69 00:02:02,387 --> 00:02:04,388 BUT ACCORDING TO A RECENT ARTICLE, SOME PEOPLE UNDER 65 IN L.A. ARE STILL TRYING TO GET 70 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:05,923 ARTICLE, SOME PEOPLE UNDER 65 IN L.A. ARE STILL TRYING TO GET THE VACCINE AT ANY COST. 71 00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:08,025 IN L.A. ARE STILL TRYING TO GET THE VACCINE AT ANY COST. THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING CALLED 72 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,127 THE VACCINE AT ANY COST. THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING CALLED VACCINE CHASERS. 73 00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:10,661 THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING CALLED VACCINE CHASERS. YEAH. 74 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,395 VACCINE CHASERS. YEAH. NOW, TYPICALLY THESE PEOPLE 75 00:02:12,397 --> 00:02:13,964 YEAH. NOW, TYPICALLY THESE PEOPLE LINE UP AT VACCINATION SITES 76 00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,632 NOW, TYPICALLY THESE PEOPLE LINE UP AT VACCINATION SITES FOR HOURS HOPING THERE MIGHT BE 77 00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:17,034 LINE UP AT VACCINATION SITES FOR HOURS HOPING THERE MIGHT BE AN EXTRA DOSE AVAILABLE AT THE 78 00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:17,634 FOR HOURS HOPING THERE MIGHT BE AN EXTRA DOSE AVAILABLE AT THE END OF THE DAY. 79 00:02:17,636 --> 00:02:20,571 AN EXTRA DOSE AVAILABLE AT THE END OF THE DAY. NOT ONLY THAT, SINCE THIS IS 80 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,406 END OF THE DAY. NOT ONLY THAT, SINCE THIS IS L.A., SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE 81 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:23,974 NOT ONLY THAT, SINCE THIS IS L.A., SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING AS FAR AS SENDING IN 82 00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:26,577 L.A., SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING AS FAR AS SENDING IN AUDITION TAPES TO BE CONSIDERED 83 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,378 GOING AS FAR AS SENDING IN AUDITION TAPES TO BE CONSIDERED FOR EARLY VACCINATION. 84 00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:28,579 AUDITION TAPES TO BE CONSIDERED FOR EARLY VACCINATION. YEAH. 85 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,881 FOR EARLY VACCINATION. YEAH. WE ACTUALLY GOT OUR HANDS ON 86 00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:33,550 YEAH. WE ACTUALLY GOT OUR HANDS ON SOME OF THESE VACCINE AUDITION 87 00:02:33,552 --> 00:02:33,884 WE ACTUALLY GOT OUR HANDS ON SOME OF THESE VACCINE AUDITION TAPES. 88 00:02:33,886 --> 00:02:34,585 SOME OF THESE VACCINE AUDITION TAPES. YEAH. 89 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:35,085 TAPES. YEAH. UNBELIEVABLE. 90 00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:39,423 YEAH. UNBELIEVABLE. CHECK THEM OUT. 91 00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,792 UNBELIEVABLE. CHECK THEM OUT. >> HI, JOCELYN MARKS, STEWART 92 00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:42,092 CHECK THEM OUT. >> HI, JOCELYN MARKS, STEWART TALENT. 93 00:02:42,094 --> 00:02:44,461 >> HI, JOCELYN MARKS, STEWART TALENT. AND I AM AUDITIONING TO GET A 94 00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:52,169 TALENT. AND I AM AUDITIONING TO GET A VACCINE. 95 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,404 AND I AM AUDITIONING TO GET A VACCINE. >> HI. 96 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,205 VACCINE. >> HI. I'M JEFF MATTHEWS. 97 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:55,572 >> HI. I'M JEFF MATTHEWS. AND I'M AUDITIONING FOR THE 98 00:02:55,574 --> 00:02:57,574 I'M JEFF MATTHEWS. AND I'M AUDITIONING FOR THE VACCINE WITH SOME OF MY 99 00:02:57,576 --> 00:02:58,942 AND I'M AUDITIONING FOR THE VACCINE WITH SOME OF MY IMPRESSIONS. 100 00:02:58,944 --> 00:03:02,512 VACCINE WITH SOME OF MY IMPRESSIONS. "SO YOU WANT THE VACCINE? 101 00:03:02,514 --> 00:03:05,582 IMPRESSIONS. "SO YOU WANT THE VACCINE? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE VACCINE!" 102 00:03:05,584 --> 00:03:08,818 "SO YOU WANT THE VACCINE? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE VACCINE!" >> HI, DENNY RICHARDSON, NO, 103 00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,487 YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE VACCINE!" >> HI, DENNY RICHARDSON, NO, I'M NOT TECHNICALLY A DOCTOR. 104 00:03:10,489 --> 00:03:13,590 >> HI, DENNY RICHARDSON, NO, I'M NOT TECHNICALLY A DOCTOR. I DID PLAY ONE ONCE IN A SMALL 105 00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:14,958 I'M NOT TECHNICALLY A DOCTOR. I DID PLAY ONE ONCE IN A SMALL ADULT FILM. 106 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,127 I DID PLAY ONE ONCE IN A SMALL ADULT FILM. >> ELI BRIGHT, SPECIAL SKILL. 107 00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:19,396 ADULT FILM. >> ELI BRIGHT, SPECIAL SKILL. STANDUP COMEDY. 108 00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:21,832 >> ELI BRIGHT, SPECIAL SKILL. STANDUP COMEDY. >> YOU KNOW, MEN AND WOMEN GET 109 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,100 STANDUP COMEDY. >> YOU KNOW, MEN AND WOMEN GET COVID VERY DIFFERENTLY. 110 00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:25,302 >> YOU KNOW, MEN AND WOMEN GET COVID VERY DIFFERENTLY. >> SO I ACTUALLY BROUGHT SOME 111 00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:26,469 COVID VERY DIFFERENTLY. >> SO I ACTUALLY BROUGHT SOME WIGS. 112 00:03:26,471 --> 00:03:29,640 >> SO I ACTUALLY BROUGHT SOME WIGS. THEY'RE FROM MY IMPROV STUDIO. 113 00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:30,441 WIGS. THEY'RE FROM MY IMPROV STUDIO. BEFORE IT BURNT DOWN. 114 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,808 THEY'RE FROM MY IMPROV STUDIO. BEFORE IT BURNT DOWN. THIS ONE IS COOL. 115 00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:34,411 BEFORE IT BURNT DOWN. THIS ONE IS COOL. IT'S KIND OF LIKE -- NO, YOU 116 00:03:34,413 --> 00:03:34,878 THIS ONE IS COOL. IT'S KIND OF LIKE -- NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 117 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,413 IT'S KIND OF LIKE -- NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SO SORRY. 118 00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:41,217 KNOW WHAT? I'M SO SORRY. >> PIME BARRY DIESEL -- I'M 119 00:03:41,219 --> 00:03:42,018 I'M SO SORRY. >> PIME BARRY DIESEL -- I'M BARRY DIESEL. 120 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:42,753 >> PIME BARRY DIESEL -- I'M BARRY DIESEL. NO RELATION. 121 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:44,854 BARRY DIESEL. NO RELATION. I'M A STAGE COMBAT EXPERT. 122 00:03:44,856 --> 00:03:47,491 NO RELATION. I'M A STAGE COMBAT EXPERT. PROFICIENT IN SUCH STYLES AS 123 00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:49,726 I'M A STAGE COMBAT EXPERT. PROFICIENT IN SUCH STYLES AS PUNCHING. 124 00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:53,196 PROFICIENT IN SUCH STYLES AS PUNCHING. STAFF WORK. 125 00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:55,666 PUNCHING. STAFF WORK. SWORD PLAY. 126 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:58,268 STAFF WORK. SWORD PLAY. AND THROWING A BANANA IN SLOW 127 00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:01,272 SWORD PLAY. AND THROWING A BANANA IN SLOW MOTION. 128 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,606 AND THROWING A BANANA IN SLOW MOTION. >> HI. 129 00:04:02,608 --> 00:04:05,676 MOTION. >> HI. I'M KATHY ALMAMATO. 130 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:08,545 >> HI. I'M KATHY ALMAMATO. PLEASE GIVE ME THE VACCINE. 131 00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:08,879 I'M KATHY ALMAMATO. PLEASE GIVE ME THE VACCINE. SORRY. 132 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:10,647 PLEASE GIVE ME THE VACCINE. SORRY. SORRY, I'M DOING AN AUDITION! 133 00:04:10,649 --> 00:04:11,548 SORRY. SORRY, I'M DOING AN AUDITION! >> WE'RE HUNGRY! 134 00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:13,150 SORRY, I'M DOING AN AUDITION! >> WE'RE HUNGRY! >> CAN YOU JUST KEEP IT DOWN? 135 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,751 >> WE'RE HUNGRY! >> CAN YOU JUST KEEP IT DOWN? >> YOU NEVER FEED US! 136 00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:16,787 >> CAN YOU JUST KEEP IT DOWN? >> YOU NEVER FEED US! >> ROOMMATES. 137 00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:18,388 >> YOU NEVER FEED US! >> ROOMMATES. >> AND A LAB COAT WHICH IS 138 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:20,090 >> ROOMMATES. >> AND A LAB COAT WHICH IS PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT? 139 00:04:20,092 --> 00:04:23,560 >> AND A LAB COAT WHICH IS PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT? AND I WILL DO NUDITY. 140 00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:26,163 PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT? AND I WILL DO NUDITY. >> OW! 141 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:27,798 AND I WILL DO NUDITY. >> OW! >> WHITE PEOPLE TAKE THE 142 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:32,436 >> OW! >> WHITE PEOPLE TAKE THE VACCINE LIKE THIS. 143 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,203 >> WHITE PEOPLE TAKE THE VACCINE LIKE THIS. ALL RIGHTY THEN! 144 00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:34,504 VACCINE LIKE THIS. ALL RIGHTY THEN! CONAN: SINCE BEING SWORN INTO 145 00:04:34,506 --> 00:04:36,140 ALL RIGHTY THEN! CONAN: SINCE BEING SWORN INTO OFFICE, JOE BIDEN HAS HAD A LOT 146 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,175 CONAN: SINCE BEING SWORN INTO OFFICE, JOE BIDEN HAS HAD A LOT OF CHALLENGES FACING HIS 147 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:39,009 OFFICE, JOE BIDEN HAS HAD A LOT OF CHALLENGES FACING HIS PRESIDENCY. 148 00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:40,076 OF CHALLENGES FACING HIS PRESIDENCY. AND AS YOU HAD GUESSED NOT 149 00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:41,845 PRESIDENCY. AND AS YOU HAD GUESSED NOT EVERYONE IS HAPPY WITH HOW HE'S 150 00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:42,412 AND AS YOU HAD GUESSED NOT EVERYONE IS HAPPY WITH HOW HE'S MEETING THEM. 151 00:04:42,414 --> 00:04:43,948 EVERYONE IS HAPPY WITH HOW HE'S MEETING THEM. FOR MORE ABOUT THAT, PLEASE 152 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,517 MEETING THEM. FOR MORE ABOUT THAT, PLEASE WELCOME THE HOST OF THE POPULAR 153 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,286 FOR MORE ABOUT THAT, PLEASE WELCOME THE HOST OF THE POPULAR CONSERVATIVE PODCAST THE RIGHT 154 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:50,020 WELCOME THE HOST OF THE POPULAR CONSERVATIVE PODCAST THE RIGHT TRUTH, MR. DARREN TOOTH. 155 00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:52,222 CONSERVATIVE PODCAST THE RIGHT TRUTH, MR. DARREN TOOTH. WELCOME TO THE SHOW, DARREN. 156 00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:53,924 TRUTH, MR. DARREN TOOTH. WELCOME TO THE SHOW, DARREN. >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME, CONAN. 157 00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:54,925 WELCOME TO THE SHOW, DARREN. >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME, CONAN. I APPRECIATE THE CHANCE TO 158 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,961 >> THANKS FOR HAVING ME, CONAN. I APPRECIATE THE CHANCE TO ADDRESS WHAT IS SHAPING UP TO 159 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,895 I APPRECIATE THE CHANCE TO ADDRESS WHAT IS SHAPING UP TO BE THE WORST PRESIDENCY IN 160 00:04:58,897 --> 00:04:59,963 ADDRESS WHAT IS SHAPING UP TO BE THE WORST PRESIDENCY IN AMERICAN HISTORY. 161 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:00,297 BE THE WORST PRESIDENCY IN AMERICAN HISTORY. CONAN: OK. 162 00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:02,199 AMERICAN HISTORY. CONAN: OK. WELL, ALREADY THAT FEELS A 163 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:03,033 CONAN: OK. WELL, ALREADY THAT FEELS A LITTLE STRONG, DARREN. 164 00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:06,737 WELL, ALREADY THAT FEELS A LITTLE STRONG, DARREN. WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? 165 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,339 LITTLE STRONG, DARREN. WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? >> WHERE DO I START, CONAN? 166 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:12,276 WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? >> WHERE DO I START, CONAN? WITH BIDEN AS PRESIDENT WE HAVE 167 00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:12,943 >> WHERE DO I START, CONAN? WITH BIDEN AS PRESIDENT WE HAVE 6.7% UNEMPLOYMENT. 168 00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:13,143 WITH BIDEN AS PRESIDENT WE HAVE 6.7% UNEMPLOYMENT. OK? 169 00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:14,911 6.7% UNEMPLOYMENT. OK? WE GOT AN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL 170 00:05:14,913 --> 00:05:15,980 OK? WE GOT AN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. 171 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,114 WE GOT AN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. AND WE GOT THE HIGHEST COVID 172 00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:18,949 RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. AND WE GOT THE HIGHEST COVID DEATH RATE IN THE WORLD. 173 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,617 AND WE GOT THE HIGHEST COVID DEATH RATE IN THE WORLD. AND THAT NUMBER IS GOING UP 174 00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:21,151 DEATH RATE IN THE WORLD. AND THAT NUMBER IS GOING UP EVERY DAY. 175 00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:21,986 AND THAT NUMBER IS GOING UP EVERY DAY. CONAN: YEAH, OK. 176 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:22,786 EVERY DAY. CONAN: YEAH, OK. FAIR ENOUGH. 177 00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:24,120 CONAN: YEAH, OK. FAIR ENOUGH. BUT HOW CAN YOU ATTRIBUTE ALL 178 00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:24,955 FAIR ENOUGH. BUT HOW CAN YOU ATTRIBUTE ALL THAT TO BIDEN? 179 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:26,323 BUT HOW CAN YOU ATTRIBUTE ALL THAT TO BIDEN? HE'S ONLY BEEN PRESIDENT FOR 180 00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:27,658 THAT TO BIDEN? HE'S ONLY BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TWO WEEKS. 181 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,258 HE'S ONLY BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TWO WEEKS. >> EXACTLY. 182 00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:29,860 TWO WEEKS. >> EXACTLY. AND IF BIDEN CAN DO THAT MUCH 183 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,828 >> EXACTLY. AND IF BIDEN CAN DO THAT MUCH IN DAMAGE IN TWO WEEKS, IMAGINE 184 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,030 AND IF BIDEN CAN DO THAT MUCH IN DAMAGE IN TWO WEEKS, IMAGINE WHAT THE NEXT FOUR YEARS ARE 185 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,064 IN DAMAGE IN TWO WEEKS, IMAGINE WHAT THE NEXT FOUR YEARS ARE GOING TO BE LIKE. 186 00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:34,965 WHAT THE NEXT FOUR YEARS ARE GOING TO BE LIKE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 187 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,466 GOING TO BE LIKE. YOU KNOW WHAT? BETTER YET DON'T IMAGINE IT. 188 00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:37,568 YOU KNOW WHAT? BETTER YET DON'T IMAGINE IT. UNLESS YOU WANT TO PUKE. 189 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:38,435 BETTER YET DON'T IMAGINE IT. UNLESS YOU WANT TO PUKE. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. 190 00:05:38,437 --> 00:05:39,936 UNLESS YOU WANT TO PUKE. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S -- THAT'S BEING A LITTLE 191 00:05:39,938 --> 00:05:40,571 CONAN: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S -- THAT'S BEING A LITTLE DRAMATIC. 192 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:40,771 THAT'S -- THAT'S BEING A LITTLE DRAMATIC. OK? 193 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:41,805 DRAMATIC. OK? >> OH, IS IT? 194 00:05:41,807 --> 00:05:43,607 OK? >> OH, IS IT? IS IT DRAMATIC TO LOVE MY 195 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:44,608 >> OH, IS IT? IS IT DRAMATIC TO LOVE MY COUNTRY, CONAN? 196 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:48,012 IS IT DRAMATIC TO LOVE MY COUNTRY, CONAN? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TUCK MY 197 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,680 COUNTRY, CONAN? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TUCK MY TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ATLAS 198 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,882 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TUCK MY TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ATLAS AND SHRUGGED, INTO BED EVERY 199 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,717 TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ATLAS AND SHRUGGED, INTO BED EVERY NIGHT AND TELL THEM THAT 200 00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:54,351 AND SHRUGGED, INTO BED EVERY NIGHT AND TELL THEM THAT THEY'RE SAFE WHEN I'M 201 00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,952 NIGHT AND TELL THEM THAT THEY'RE SAFE WHEN I'M STRUGGLING NOT TO BARF MY 202 00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:56,854 THEY'RE SAFE WHEN I'M STRUGGLING NOT TO BARF MY BRAINS OUT BECAUSE THERE'S A 203 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,855 STRUGGLING NOT TO BARF MY BRAINS OUT BECAUSE THERE'S A FENCE AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE? 204 00:05:58,857 --> 00:05:59,190 BRAINS OUT BECAUSE THERE'S A FENCE AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE? OK. 205 00:05:59,192 --> 00:05:59,756 FENCE AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE? OK. YOU KNOW WHAT? 206 00:05:59,758 --> 00:06:01,224 OK. YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN FEEL A LITTLE BIT OF PUKE 207 00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:03,060 YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN FEEL A LITTLE BIT OF PUKE IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT RIGHT 208 00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:03,260 I CAN FEEL A LITTLE BIT OF PUKE IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT RIGHT NOW. 209 00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:04,695 IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT RIGHT NOW. CONAN: THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 210 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,562 NOW. CONAN: THAT'S RIDICULOUS. LISTEN, WE GET IT. 211 00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,030 CONAN: THAT'S RIDICULOUS. LISTEN, WE GET IT. WE GET THAT YOU'RE UPSET. 212 00:06:07,032 --> 00:06:08,799 LISTEN, WE GET IT. WE GET THAT YOU'RE UPSET. THERE'S A FENCE AROUND THE 213 00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:09,066 WE GET THAT YOU'RE UPSET. THERE'S A FENCE AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE. 214 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,201 THERE'S A FENCE AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE. BUT THE FENCE IS THERE BECAUSE 215 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,402 WHITE HOUSE. BUT THE FENCE IS THERE BECAUSE TRUMP SUPPORTERS HAVE BEEN 216 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:12,636 BUT THE FENCE IS THERE BECAUSE TRUMP SUPPORTERS HAVE BEEN THREATENING VIOLENCE. 217 00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:15,072 TRUMP SUPPORTERS HAVE BEEN THREATENING VIOLENCE. >> LET'S LOOK AT THE FACTS, 218 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:15,505 THREATENING VIOLENCE. >> LET'S LOOK AT THE FACTS, CONAN. 219 00:06:15,507 --> 00:06:16,273 >> LET'S LOOK AT THE FACTS, CONAN. FACT. 220 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:17,208 CONAN. FACT. BIDEN PROMISED CHANGE. 221 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,041 FACT. BIDEN PROMISED CHANGE. CONAN: YEAH. 222 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,611 BIDEN PROMISED CHANGE. CONAN: YEAH. >> AND YET TOM BRADY IS IN THE 223 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:21,811 CONAN: YEAH. >> AND YET TOM BRADY IS IN THE SUPER BOWL AGAIN. 224 00:06:21,813 --> 00:06:22,713 >> AND YET TOM BRADY IS IN THE SUPER BOWL AGAIN. FACT. 225 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,682 SUPER BOWL AGAIN. FACT. BIDEN PROMISED TO PROTECT THE 226 00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:26,383 FACT. BIDEN PROMISED TO PROTECT THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY AND 227 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:29,419 BIDEN PROMISED TO PROTECT THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY AND YET WE'VE ALREADY LOST SICILY 228 00:06:29,421 --> 00:06:32,756 AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY AND YET WE'VE ALREADY LOST SICILY TYSON AND HANK AARON. 229 00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:33,456 YET WE'VE ALREADY LOST SICILY TYSON AND HANK AARON. WHAT IS HE PLANNING NEXT? 230 00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:35,392 TYSON AND HANK AARON. WHAT IS HE PLANNING NEXT? CONAN: IT'S SAD THAT THEY'RE 231 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,093 WHAT IS HE PLANNING NEXT? CONAN: IT'S SAD THAT THEY'RE GONE -- 232 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:36,894 CONAN: IT'S SAD THAT THEY'RE GONE -- >> FACT. 233 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,595 GONE -- >> FACT. STOP INTERRUPTING. 234 00:06:38,597 --> 00:06:39,830 >> FACT. STOP INTERRUPTING. I JUST SAW A STORY THE OTHER 235 00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,499 STOP INTERRUPTING. I JUST SAW A STORY THE OTHER DAY ABOUT SOME PEOPLE THAT 236 00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:44,067 I JUST SAW A STORY THE OTHER DAY ABOUT SOME PEOPLE THAT FOUND A BEAR SWIMMING IN THEIR 237 00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:44,835 DAY ABOUT SOME PEOPLE THAT FOUND A BEAR SWIMMING IN THEIR HOT TUB. 238 00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:46,036 FOUND A BEAR SWIMMING IN THEIR HOT TUB. IS THAT WHAT JOE BIDEN'S 239 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:47,671 HOT TUB. IS THAT WHAT JOE BIDEN'S AMERICA IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE? 240 00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,205 IS THAT WHAT JOE BIDEN'S AMERICA IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE? BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN 241 00:06:49,207 --> 00:06:49,907 AMERICA IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE? BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE THAT. 242 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,575 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE THAT. I'M GOING TO GET SICK. 243 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,176 HANDLE THAT. I'M GOING TO GET SICK. CONAN: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET 244 00:06:53,178 --> 00:06:53,477 I'M GOING TO GET SICK. CONAN: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET SICK. 245 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:53,944 CONAN: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET SICK. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 246 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:54,878 SICK. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. DON'T GET SICK. 247 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,146 THAT'S RIDICULOUS. DON'T GET SICK. >> I'M NOT GETTING SICK RIGHT 248 00:06:56,148 --> 00:06:57,414 DON'T GET SICK. >> I'M NOT GETTING SICK RIGHT THIS SECOND BUT I COULD EASILY. 249 00:06:57,416 --> 00:06:58,682 >> I'M NOT GETTING SICK RIGHT THIS SECOND BUT I COULD EASILY. THAT WAS A FALSE ALARM. 250 00:06:58,684 --> 00:06:59,516 THIS SECOND BUT I COULD EASILY. THAT WAS A FALSE ALARM. THAT WAS JUST -- THAT WAS A 251 00:06:59,518 --> 00:07:01,384 THAT WAS A FALSE ALARM. THAT WAS JUST -- THAT WAS A BURP. 252 00:07:01,386 --> 00:07:02,452 THAT WAS JUST -- THAT WAS A BURP. CONAN: DARREN, THAT'S 253 00:07:02,454 --> 00:07:02,753 BURP. CONAN: DARREN, THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 254 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:03,854 CONAN: DARREN, THAT'S RIDICULOUS. YOU AREN'T GOING TO THROW UP 255 00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,255 RIDICULOUS. YOU AREN'T GOING TO THROW UP AND BEARS IN HOT TUBS HAVE 256 00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:06,523 YOU AREN'T GOING TO THROW UP AND BEARS IN HOT TUBS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BIDEN'S 257 00:07:06,525 --> 00:07:07,591 AND BEARS IN HOT TUBS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BIDEN'S COMPETENCE AS A PRESIDENT. 258 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,892 NOTHING TO DO WITH BIDEN'S COMPETENCE AS A PRESIDENT. YOU HAVE TO ADMIT YOU'RE REALLY 259 00:07:08,894 --> 00:07:09,426 COMPETENCE AS A PRESIDENT. YOU HAVE TO ADMIT YOU'RE REALLY STRETCHING. 260 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,695 YOU HAVE TO ADMIT YOU'RE REALLY STRETCHING. >> WHY DO I KEEP SEEING PHOTOS 261 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:12,529 STRETCHING. >> WHY DO I KEEP SEEING PHOTOS OF BERNIE SANDERS SITTING 262 00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:14,164 >> WHY DO I KEEP SEEING PHOTOS OF BERNIE SANDERS SITTING AROUND IN HIS MITTENS DOING 263 00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:15,165 OF BERNIE SANDERS SITTING AROUND IN HIS MITTENS DOING NOTHING? 264 00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,934 AROUND IN HIS MITTENS DOING NOTHING? HE'S ON THE SUBWAY. 265 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,269 NOTHING? HE'S ON THE SUBWAY. IN A HOCKEY PENALTY BOX. 266 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,470 HE'S ON THE SUBWAY. IN A HOCKEY PENALTY BOX. HE'S GOOFING OFF IN THE WAITING 267 00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:23,274 IN A HOCKEY PENALTY BOX. HE'S GOOFING OFF IN THE WAITING ROOM FROM THE MOTHER SKF 268 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:23,540 HE'S GOOFING OFF IN THE WAITING ROOM FROM THE MOTHER SKF BEATLEJUICE. 269 00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:26,543 ROOM FROM THE MOTHER SKF BEATLEJUICE. -- FROM THE MOVIE 270 00:07:26,545 --> 00:07:26,877 BEATLEJUICE. -- FROM THE MOVIE "BEATLEJUICE." 271 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,246 -- FROM THE MOVIE "BEATLEJUICE." HOW CAN HE PASS A COVID BILL 272 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,281 "BEATLEJUICE." HOW CAN HE PASS A COVID BILL WHEN HE WAS HANGING OUT WITH 273 00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:31,715 HOW CAN HE PASS A COVID BILL WHEN HE WAS HANGING OUT WITH BEATLEJUICE? 274 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:32,716 WHEN HE WAS HANGING OUT WITH BEATLEJUICE? CONAN: THOSE ARE MEMES YOU'RE 275 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:33,250 BEATLEJUICE? CONAN: THOSE ARE MEMES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 276 00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:33,951 CONAN: THOSE ARE MEMES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. IT'S A MEME. 277 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,420 TALKING ABOUT. IT'S A MEME. YOU KNOW WHAT A MEME IS? 278 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:37,721 IT'S A MEME. YOU KNOW WHAT A MEME IS? >> ATLAS, GET THE BUCKET, 279 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:38,888 YOU KNOW WHAT A MEME IS? >> ATLAS, GET THE BUCKET, DADDY'S TALKING ABOUT THE 280 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:39,890 >> ATLAS, GET THE BUCKET, DADDY'S TALKING ABOUT THE PRESIDENCY AGAIN! 281 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:42,092 DADDY'S TALKING ABOUT THE PRESIDENCY AGAIN! CONAN: DARREN, I REALIZE YOU 282 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,894 PRESIDENCY AGAIN! CONAN: DARREN, I REALIZE YOU HAVE YOUR POLITICAL BIASES, ALL 283 00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:44,161 CONAN: DARREN, I REALIZE YOU HAVE YOUR POLITICAL BIASES, ALL RIGHT? 284 00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:45,930 HAVE YOUR POLITICAL BIASES, ALL RIGHT? AND YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR 285 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:46,797 RIGHT? AND YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR CONSERVATIVE AUDIENCE HAPPY BUT 286 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,899 AND YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR CONSERVATIVE AUDIENCE HAPPY BUT JOE BIDEN IS ENTERING OFFICE 287 00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:49,800 CONSERVATIVE AUDIENCE HAPPY BUT JOE BIDEN IS ENTERING OFFICE FACING EXTRAORDINARY 288 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:50,134 JOE BIDEN IS ENTERING OFFICE FACING EXTRAORDINARY CHALLENGES. 289 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,803 FACING EXTRAORDINARY CHALLENGES. SO WHY DON'T WE ALL GIVE HIM A 290 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,004 CHALLENGES. SO WHY DON'T WE ALL GIVE HIM A LITTLE TIME TO ENACT HIS AGENDA 291 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,906 SO WHY DON'T WE ALL GIVE HIM A LITTLE TIME TO ENACT HIS AGENDA BEFORE YOU TEAR DOWN HIS 292 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:56,273 LITTLE TIME TO ENACT HIS AGENDA BEFORE YOU TEAR DOWN HIS PRESIDENCY? 293 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:56,807 BEFORE YOU TEAR DOWN HIS PRESIDENCY? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 294 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,842 PRESIDENCY? >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S A FAIR POINT. 295 00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:00,811 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S A FAIR POINT. CONAN, I GOT TO SAY THANK YOU. 296 00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,713 THAT'S A FAIR POINT. CONAN, I GOT TO SAY THANK YOU. WHAT YOU JUST SAID ABOUT BIDEN 297 00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:03,981 CONAN, I GOT TO SAY THANK YOU. WHAT YOU JUST SAID ABOUT BIDEN REALLY MAKES ME THINK A LOT. 298 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,616 WHAT YOU JUST SAID ABOUT BIDEN REALLY MAKES ME THINK A LOT. CONAN: I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT. 299 00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:07,117 REALLY MAKES ME THINK A LOT. CONAN: I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT. >> IT MAKES ME THINK A LOT 300 00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:08,819 CONAN: I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT. >> IT MAKES ME THINK A LOT ABOUT BLOWING CHUNKS ALL OVER 301 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,221 >> IT MAKES ME THINK A LOT ABOUT BLOWING CHUNKS ALL OVER MY PODCAST STUDIO! 302 00:08:11,223 --> 00:08:14,458 ABOUT BLOWING CHUNKS ALL OVER MY PODCAST STUDIO! CONAN: OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 303 00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:14,825 MY PODCAST STUDIO! CONAN: OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. STUPID! 304 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,294 CONAN: OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE. STUPID! >> OH, WHEN DID I HAVE 305 00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,129 STUPID! >> OH, WHEN DID I HAVE CHEERIOS? 306 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,031 >> OH, WHEN DID I HAVE CHEERIOS? I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. 307 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:22,299 CHEERIOS? I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. COAST IS CLEAR. 308 00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:27,338 I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. COAST IS CLEAR. NO, IT'S NOT! 309 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,739 COAST IS CLEAR. NO, IT'S NOT! OH, LIKE A SHOE LACE OR 310 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:29,105 NO, IT'S NOT! OH, LIKE A SHOE LACE OR SOMETHING. 311 00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:31,241 OH, LIKE A SHOE LACE OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW WHEN I ATE A SHOE. 312 00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:32,943 SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW WHEN I ATE A SHOE. CONAN: I'M NOT BUYING ANY OF 313 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:33,210 I DON'T KNOW WHEN I ATE A SHOE. CONAN: I'M NOT BUYING ANY OF IT. 314 00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,579 CONAN: I'M NOT BUYING ANY OF IT. GOING -- GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING 315 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:35,812 IT. GOING -- GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING ELSE? 316 00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:36,413 GOING -- GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING ELSE? ARE YOU GOOD? 317 00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:36,980 ELSE? ARE YOU GOOD? >> I'M EMPTY. 318 00:08:36,982 --> 00:08:39,249 ARE YOU GOOD? >> I'M EMPTY. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. 319 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:42,186 >> I'M EMPTY. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. WHAT A WONDERFUL SEGMENT. 320 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,621 CONAN: ALL RIGHT. WHAT A WONDERFUL SEGMENT. WE HAVE -- 321 00:08:44,623 --> 00:08:46,590 WHAT A WONDERFUL SEGMENT. WE HAVE -- >> NOW I'M EMPTY. 322 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,524 WE HAVE -- >> NOW I'M EMPTY. CONAN: OK. 323 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:48,759 >> NOW I'M EMPTY. CONAN: OK. WHAT CAME UP THAT TIME? 324 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:49,860 CONAN: OK. WHAT CAME UP THAT TIME? >> YOUR OLD HAIRCUT. 325 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,763 WHAT CAME UP THAT TIME? >> YOUR OLD HAIRCUT. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. 326 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,431 >> YOUR OLD HAIRCUT. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, WE HAVE A TERRIFIC 327 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:54,798 CONAN: ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, WE HAVE A TERRIFIC SHOW. 328 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,766 LISTEN, WE HAVE A TERRIFIC SHOW. KYRA SEDGWICK IS GOING TO BE 329 00:08:55,768 --> 00:09:01,238 SHOW. KYRA SEDGWICK IS GOING TO BE JOINING US IF SHE'S -- 330 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,073 KYRA SEDGWICK IS GOING TO BE JOINING US IF SHE'S -- CONAN: MY GUEST TONIGHT WON A 331 00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:04,875 JOINING US IF SHE'S -- CONAN: MY GUEST TONIGHT WON A GOLDEN GLOBE AND EMMY AWARD FOR 332 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,077 CONAN: MY GUEST TONIGHT WON A GOLDEN GLOBE AND EMMY AWARD FOR HER WORK ON "THE CLOSER" AND 333 00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:09,045 GOLDEN GLOBE AND EMMY AWARD FOR HER WORK ON "THE CLOSER" AND HER NEW SERIES "CALL YOUR 334 00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,482 HER WORK ON "THE CLOSER" AND HER NEW SERIES "CALL YOUR MOTHER" AIRS WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30 335 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,283 HER NEW SERIES "CALL YOUR MOTHER" AIRS WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30 P.M. ON ABC. 336 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,917 MOTHER" AIRS WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30 P.M. ON ABC. PLEASE WELCOME THE LOVELY, THE 337 00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:14,885 P.M. ON ABC. PLEASE WELCOME THE LOVELY, THE TALENTED, I'M THRILLED SHE'S 338 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,486 PLEASE WELCOME THE LOVELY, THE TALENTED, I'M THRILLED SHE'S WITH US, SHE'S ONE OF MY 339 00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,054 TALENTED, I'M THRILLED SHE'S WITH US, SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES, KYRA SEDGWICK. 340 00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:20,057 WITH US, SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES, KYRA SEDGWICK. KYRA, I LOVE SEEING YOU. 341 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,158 FAVORITES, KYRA SEDGWICK. KYRA, I LOVE SEEING YOU. WE'RE ALL SEPARATED DURING 342 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:21,592 KYRA, I LOVE SEEING YOU. WE'RE ALL SEPARATED DURING COVID. 343 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,360 WE'RE ALL SEPARATED DURING COVID. AND THEN TODAY I'M DRIVING TO 344 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:23,594 COVID. AND THEN TODAY I'M DRIVING TO WORK. 345 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,963 AND THEN TODAY I'M DRIVING TO WORK. AND I'M LIKE I GET MY KYRA 346 00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:26,296 WORK. AND I'M LIKE I GET MY KYRA TIME. 347 00:09:26,298 --> 00:09:26,797 AND I'M LIKE I GET MY KYRA TIME. SO THANK YOU. 348 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:27,698 TIME. SO THANK YOU. KYRA: OH, MY GOSH. 349 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,899 SO THANK YOU. KYRA: OH, MY GOSH. THAT'S SO NICE. 350 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,200 KYRA: OH, MY GOSH. THAT'S SO NICE. IT'S SUCH A LONG TIME. 351 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:31,936 THAT'S SO NICE. IT'S SUCH A LONG TIME. AND SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. 352 00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:32,970 IT'S SUCH A LONG TIME. AND SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. EVEN UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. 353 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:33,904 AND SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. EVEN UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. CONAN: YEAH. 354 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:34,404 EVEN UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. CONAN: YEAH. THIS IS NICE. 355 00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:35,305 CONAN: YEAH. THIS IS NICE. WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 356 00:09:35,307 --> 00:09:36,406 THIS IS NICE. WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL -- IT LOOKS 357 00:09:36,408 --> 00:09:37,874 WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL -- IT LOOKS LIKE I'M TALKING TO YOU -- AND 358 00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:39,610 THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL -- IT LOOKS LIKE I'M TALKING TO YOU -- AND YOU'RE IN AN ART MUSEUM. 359 00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:40,210 LIKE I'M TALKING TO YOU -- AND YOU'RE IN AN ART MUSEUM. KYRA: I KNOW. 360 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:40,877 YOU'RE IN AN ART MUSEUM. KYRA: I KNOW. IT'S CRAZY. 361 00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,513 KYRA: I KNOW. IT'S CRAZY. I'M REALLY A LUCKY GIRL. 362 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,181 IT'S CRAZY. I'M REALLY A LUCKY GIRL. I LIVE IN -- I HAVE A PLACE IN 363 00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:44,648 I'M REALLY A LUCKY GIRL. I LIVE IN -- I HAVE A PLACE IN LOS ANGELES. 364 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:45,715 I LIVE IN -- I HAVE A PLACE IN LOS ANGELES. CONAN: BEAUTIFUL. 365 00:09:45,717 --> 00:09:46,350 LOS ANGELES. CONAN: BEAUTIFUL. KYRA: YEAH. 366 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,018 CONAN: BEAUTIFUL. KYRA: YEAH. THIS IS -- THIS IS MY PLACE IN 367 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:48,452 KYRA: YEAH. THIS IS -- THIS IS MY PLACE IN LOS ANGELES. 368 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:48,919 THIS IS -- THIS IS MY PLACE IN LOS ANGELES. AND YEAH. 369 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,621 LOS ANGELES. AND YEAH. I GET TO SEE THE GREEN. 370 00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:51,588 AND YEAH. I GET TO SEE THE GREEN. I MEAN, JESUS -- 371 00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:52,455 I GET TO SEE THE GREEN. I MEAN, JESUS -- CONAN: IT'S NICE. 372 00:09:52,457 --> 00:09:53,524 I MEAN, JESUS -- CONAN: IT'S NICE. KYRA: IT'S REALLY NICE. 373 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,225 CONAN: IT'S NICE. KYRA: IT'S REALLY NICE. CONAN: AND ALL OF US, WE'RE ALL 374 00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:56,593 KYRA: IT'S REALLY NICE. CONAN: AND ALL OF US, WE'RE ALL GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. 375 00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:57,828 CONAN: AND ALL OF US, WE'RE ALL GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. WE'RE AT HOME. 376 00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,529 GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. WE'RE AT HOME. OR I GET -- MY BIG THING EVERY 377 00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:01,332 WE'RE AT HOME. OR I GET -- MY BIG THING EVERY DAY IS I GET TO COME TO THIS 378 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,233 OR I GET -- MY BIG THING EVERY DAY IS I GET TO COME TO THIS ABANDONED THEATER AND DO THE 379 00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:03,567 DAY IS I GET TO COME TO THIS ABANDONED THEATER AND DO THE SHOW. 380 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,136 ABANDONED THEATER AND DO THE SHOW. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IPE AT 381 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:06,537 SHOW. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IPE AT HOME. 382 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,272 BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IPE AT HOME. AND FEELING KIND OF TRAPPED. 383 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,239 HOME. AND FEELING KIND OF TRAPPED. I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT OUT. 384 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:10,740 AND FEELING KIND OF TRAPPED. I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT OUT. YOU ACTUALLY WENT OUT FOR AN 385 00:10:10,742 --> 00:10:11,441 I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT OUT. YOU ACTUALLY WENT OUT FOR AN EVENING OF FUN. 386 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:13,410 YOU ACTUALLY WENT OUT FOR AN EVENING OF FUN. HOW DO YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW? 387 00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:14,311 EVENING OF FUN. HOW DO YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW? KYRA: I DID. 388 00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,146 HOW DO YOU DO THAT RIGHT NOW? KYRA: I DID. WELL, I GOT INVITED TO GO TO 389 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,915 KYRA: I DID. WELL, I GOT INVITED TO GO TO THIS COMEDY SHOW AT MAGIC 390 00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:19,149 WELL, I GOT INVITED TO GO TO THIS COMEDY SHOW AT MAGIC CASTLE. 391 00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:21,251 THIS COMEDY SHOW AT MAGIC CASTLE. AND SO I WENT TO MAGIC CASTLE 392 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:21,551 CASTLE. AND SO I WENT TO MAGIC CASTLE -- 393 00:10:21,553 --> 00:10:23,119 AND SO I WENT TO MAGIC CASTLE -- CONAN: AND IT'S OUTDOORS, 394 00:10:23,121 --> 00:10:23,387 -- CONAN: AND IT'S OUTDOORS, RIGHT? 395 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:26,223 CONAN: AND IT'S OUTDOORS, RIGHT? KYRA: IT'S OUTDOORS BUT IN YOUR 396 00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:27,457 RIGHT? KYRA: IT'S OUTDOORS BUT IN YOUR CAR SIX FEET APART AND YOU TUNE 397 00:10:27,459 --> 00:10:29,159 KYRA: IT'S OUTDOORS BUT IN YOUR CAR SIX FEET APART AND YOU TUNE IN TO A RADIO STATION. 398 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,594 CAR SIX FEET APART AND YOU TUNE IN TO A RADIO STATION. AND I THOUGHT THIS IS HORRIBLE. 399 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:31,528 IN TO A RADIO STATION. AND I THOUGHT THIS IS HORRIBLE. THIS IS GOING TO BE TERRELL. 400 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,829 AND I THOUGHT THIS IS HORRIBLE. THIS IS GOING TO BE TERRELL. BUT THEN PEOPLE CAME OUT AND 401 00:10:32,831 --> 00:10:34,031 THIS IS GOING TO BE TERRELL. BUT THEN PEOPLE CAME OUT AND THEY WERE SO FUNNY. 402 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,266 BUT THEN PEOPLE CAME OUT AND THEY WERE SO FUNNY. AND THEY WERE SO AMAZING AND 403 00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:37,234 THEY WERE SO FUNNY. AND THEY WERE SO AMAZING AND SHERI SHEPARD WAS THERE AND 404 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:39,603 AND THEY WERE SO AMAZING AND SHERI SHEPARD WAS THERE AND ALSO ONE OF YOUR WRITERS. 405 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:40,171 SHERI SHEPARD WAS THERE AND ALSO ONE OF YOUR WRITERS. LORI -- 406 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,807 ALSO ONE OF YOUR WRITERS. LORI -- CONAN: LOREY KILMARTIN. 407 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:48,745 LORI -- CONAN: LOREY KILMARTIN. KYRA: LORI WHO WAS FANTASTIC 408 00:10:48,747 --> 00:10:49,980 CONAN: LOREY KILMARTIN. KYRA: LORI WHO WAS FANTASTIC AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT 409 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:50,981 KYRA: LORI WHO WAS FANTASTIC AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE INCREDIBLY WEIRD ABOUT IT. 410 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,282 AND ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT ARE INCREDIBLY WEIRD ABOUT IT. FIRST OF ALL, IT CAN'T HAVE 411 00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,384 ARE INCREDIBLY WEIRD ABOUT IT. FIRST OF ALL, IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN EASY FOR THESE GUYS. 412 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,185 FIRST OF ALL, IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN EASY FOR THESE GUYS. IT'S GOT TO BE SO WEIRD. 413 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,119 BEEN EASY FOR THESE GUYS. IT'S GOT TO BE SO WEIRD. YOU'RE LIKE LITERALLY LOOKING 414 00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:57,788 IT'S GOT TO BE SO WEIRD. YOU'RE LIKE LITERALLY LOOKING OUT ON A SEA OF CARS. 415 00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,022 YOU'RE LIKE LITERALLY LOOKING OUT ON A SEA OF CARS. YOU CAN'T REALLY HEAR PEOPLE. 416 00:10:59,024 --> 00:11:00,391 OUT ON A SEA OF CARS. YOU CAN'T REALLY HEAR PEOPLE. CONAN: RIGHT. 417 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:04,160 YOU CAN'T REALLY HEAR PEOPLE. CONAN: RIGHT. KYRA: BUT THESE PLASTIC 418 00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:06,630 CONAN: RIGHT. KYRA: BUT THESE PLASTIC CLACKERS THAT ARE JUST LIKE -- 419 00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,899 KYRA: BUT THESE PLASTIC CLACKERS THAT ARE JUST LIKE -- YOU KNOW, HORRIBLE LIKE PLASTIC 420 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,167 CLACKERS THAT ARE JUST LIKE -- YOU KNOW, HORRIBLE LIKE PLASTIC NIGHTMARE THAT LIGHT YOU'RE 421 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,101 YOU KNOW, HORRIBLE LIKE PLASTIC NIGHTMARE THAT LIGHT YOU'RE GOING TO THROW OUT AFTER YOU 422 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:12,102 NIGHTMARE THAT LIGHT YOU'RE GOING TO THROW OUT AFTER YOU USE IT. 423 00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:12,603 GOING TO THROW OUT AFTER YOU USE IT. CONAN: RIGHT. 424 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,605 USE IT. CONAN: RIGHT. AND IT MAKES A CLAPPING SOUND? 425 00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,707 CONAN: RIGHT. AND IT MAKES A CLAPPING SOUND? KYRA: A CLAPPING SOUND. 426 00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:20,310 AND IT MAKES A CLAPPING SOUND? KYRA: A CLAPPING SOUND. IN FACT -- 427 00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:21,011 KYRA: A CLAPPING SOUND. IN FACT -- [CLAPPING] 428 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:21,378 IN FACT -- [CLAPPING] [LAUGHTER] 429 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,679 [CLAPPING] [LAUGHTER] YOU'RE FUNNY TONIGHT. 430 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,513 [LAUGHTER] YOU'RE FUNNY TONIGHT. BECAUSE IT'S NIGHTTIME. 431 00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:25,649 YOU'RE FUNNY TONIGHT. BECAUSE IT'S NIGHTTIME. CONAN: THANK YOU. 432 00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:25,816 BECAUSE IT'S NIGHTTIME. CONAN: THANK YOU. SURE. 433 00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:27,818 CONAN: THANK YOU. SURE. KYRA: THE SUN COMING IN. 434 00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:28,318 SURE. KYRA: THE SUN COMING IN. CONAN: EXACTLY. 435 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,286 KYRA: THE SUN COMING IN. CONAN: EXACTLY. THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. 436 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:30,120 CONAN: EXACTLY. THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. KYRA: NO. 437 00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:30,988 THAT SOUNDS WEIRD. KYRA: NO. IT'S GOOD. 438 00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:31,421 KYRA: NO. IT'S GOOD. BELIEVE ME. 439 00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:33,590 IT'S GOOD. BELIEVE ME. I CAN IMAGINE THAT IF I WERE 440 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,426 BELIEVE ME. I CAN IMAGINE THAT IF I WERE ONE OF THE COMEDIANS UP THERE, 441 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:38,461 I CAN IMAGINE THAT IF I WERE ONE OF THE COMEDIANS UP THERE, THIS IS WHAT I WOULD -- IT'S 442 00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:38,629 ONE OF THE COMEDIANS UP THERE, THIS IS WHAT I WOULD -- IT'S AWFUL. 443 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,731 THIS IS WHAT I WOULD -- IT'S AWFUL. BUT BETTER THAN NOTHING. 444 00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,900 AWFUL. BUT BETTER THAN NOTHING. AND I'M SO CO-DEPENDENT, I'M 445 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,902 BUT BETTER THAN NOTHING. AND I'M SO CO-DEPENDENT, I'M LIKE -- AND MY ARM IS LIKE 446 00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,670 AND I'M SO CO-DEPENDENT, I'M LIKE -- AND MY ARM IS LIKE KILLING ME BY THE END OF IT. 447 00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,004 LIKE -- AND MY ARM IS LIKE KILLING ME BY THE END OF IT. CONAN: THAT'S HARD TO DO. 448 00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:48,839 KILLING ME BY THE END OF IT. CONAN: THAT'S HARD TO DO. I WOULD THINK. 449 00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:49,640 CONAN: THAT'S HARD TO DO. I WOULD THINK. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING TO 450 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,341 I WOULD THINK. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU FOR A LONG TIME OVER THE 451 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:51,709 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU FOR A LONG TIME OVER THE YEARS. 452 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,743 YOU FOR A LONG TIME OVER THE YEARS. AND I'VE ALWAYS LOVED IT WHEN 453 00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,011 YEARS. AND I'VE ALWAYS LOVED IT WHEN YOU COME ON THE PROGRAM. 454 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,480 AND I'VE ALWAYS LOVED IT WHEN YOU COME ON THE PROGRAM. AND I REALIZED THAT THE 455 00:11:57,482 --> 00:11:58,849 YOU COME ON THE PROGRAM. AND I REALIZED THAT THE QUESTION MY PRODUCERS -- AND I 456 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,417 AND I REALIZED THAT THE QUESTION MY PRODUCERS -- AND I THINK EVERYBODY ALWAYS WANTS TO 457 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:01,952 QUESTION MY PRODUCERS -- AND I THINK EVERYBODY ALWAYS WANTS TO ASK YOU IS THE SAME QUESTION 458 00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:02,619 THINK EVERYBODY ALWAYS WANTS TO ASK YOU IS THE SAME QUESTION OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 459 00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:05,522 ASK YOU IS THE SAME QUESTION OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AND YOU MUST BE GETTING SICK OF 460 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:05,656 OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AND YOU MUST BE GETTING SICK OF IT. 461 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:06,590 AND YOU MUST BE GETTING SICK OF IT. WHICH IS YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED -- 462 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,759 IT. WHICH IS YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED -- YOU AND KEVIN BACON HAVE BEEN 463 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,261 WHICH IS YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED -- YOU AND KEVIN BACON HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SO MANY YEARS. 464 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,962 YOU AND KEVIN BACON HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SO MANY YEARS. HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE 465 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:12,228 MARRIED FOR SO MANY YEARS. HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE HAPPY? 466 00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:13,930 HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE HAPPY? WHAT'S THE SECRET? 467 00:12:13,932 --> 00:12:15,666 HAPPY? WHAT'S THE SECRET? AND I THINK -- DO YOU JUST BAN 468 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,301 WHAT'S THE SECRET? AND I THINK -- DO YOU JUST BAN THAT QUESTION NOW FROM 469 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,235 AND I THINK -- DO YOU JUST BAN THAT QUESTION NOW FROM INTERVIEWS? 470 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,470 THAT QUESTION NOW FROM INTERVIEWS? KYRA: NO. 471 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:19,770 INTERVIEWS? KYRA: NO. I DON'T. 472 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:22,439 KYRA: NO. I DON'T. BECAUSE -- YOU KNOW, I HAVE A 473 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:23,540 I DON'T. BECAUSE -- YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FUNNY ANSWER. 474 00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:28,812 BECAUSE -- YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FUNNY ANSWER. AND THE ANSWER IS KEVE'S YOU 475 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,914 FUNNY ANSWER. AND THE ANSWER IS KEVE'S YOU KEEP THE FIGHTS CLEAN AND -- 476 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:34,885 AND THE ANSWER IS KEVE'S YOU KEEP THE FIGHTS CLEAN AND -- KEV'S YOU KEEP THE FIGHTS CLEAN 477 00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,120 KEEP THE FIGHTS CLEAN AND -- KEV'S YOU KEEP THE FIGHTS CLEAN AND SEX DIRTY. 478 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,721 KEV'S YOU KEEP THE FIGHTS CLEAN AND SEX DIRTY. AND SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE 479 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:40,157 AND SEX DIRTY. AND SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS NOT TAKE MARITAL ADVICE FROM 480 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:40,791 AND SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS NOT TAKE MARITAL ADVICE FROM CELEBRITIES. 481 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:41,624 IS NOT TAKE MARITAL ADVICE FROM CELEBRITIES. CONAN: YES. 482 00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:42,559 CELEBRITIES. CONAN: YES. KYRA: THAT'S MINE. 483 00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:43,794 CONAN: YES. KYRA: THAT'S MINE. TO NOT ASK ME THAT QUESTION 484 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,396 KYRA: THAT'S MINE. TO NOT ASK ME THAT QUESTION BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE -- BUT THE 485 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,631 TO NOT ASK ME THAT QUESTION BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE -- BUT THE TRUE ANSWER IS -- AND I'M JUST 486 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,500 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE -- BUT THE TRUE ANSWER IS -- AND I'M JUST GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- 487 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,768 TRUE ANSWER IS -- AND I'M JUST GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE 488 00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:54,537 GOING TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS NOT HANGING OUT TOGETHER 489 00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:57,407 THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS NOT HANGING OUT TOGETHER 24-7, 365 DAYS A YEAR. 490 00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:58,875 IS NOT HANGING OUT TOGETHER 24-7, 365 DAYS A YEAR. CONAN: YES. 491 00:12:58,877 --> 00:13:01,779 24-7, 365 DAYS A YEAR. CONAN: YES. KYRA: LIKE -- YOU KNOW, ABSENCE 492 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,580 CONAN: YES. KYRA: LIKE -- YOU KNOW, ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER AND 493 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,081 KYRA: LIKE -- YOU KNOW, ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER AND LIKE WHEN YOU'RE OUT IN THE 494 00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,416 MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER AND LIKE WHEN YOU'RE OUT IN THE WORLD AND BRINGING THINGS BACK 495 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:08,451 LIKE WHEN YOU'RE OUT IN THE WORLD AND BRINGING THINGS BACK INTO A MARRIAGE, THAT IS A GOOD 496 00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:08,585 WORLD AND BRINGING THINGS BACK INTO A MARRIAGE, THAT IS A GOOD THING. 497 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,854 INTO A MARRIAGE, THAT IS A GOOD THING. AS LONG AS IT'S NOT A THIRD 498 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:11,221 THING. AS LONG AS IT'S NOT A THIRD PERSON. 499 00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:12,022 AS LONG AS IT'S NOT A THIRD PERSON. UNLESS YOU'RE INTO THAT STUFF. 500 00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:15,726 PERSON. UNLESS YOU'RE INTO THAT STUFF. CONAN: WHICH I AM. 501 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,728 UNLESS YOU'RE INTO THAT STUFF. CONAN: WHICH I AM. WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT LATER! 502 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:18,895 CONAN: WHICH I AM. WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT LATER! KYRA: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS 503 00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,797 WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT LATER! KYRA: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS HAVE THIS, BUT LIKE AS WE'VE 504 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:23,534 KYRA: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYS HAVE THIS, BUT LIKE AS WE'VE BEEN MARRIED LIKE OUR BED HAS 505 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,468 HAVE THIS, BUT LIKE AS WE'VE BEEN MARRIED LIKE OUR BED HAS GOTTEN BIGGER. 506 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,003 BEEN MARRIED LIKE OUR BED HAS GOTTEN BIGGER. YOU KNOW, LIKE WE STARTED OUT 507 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,338 GOTTEN BIGGER. YOU KNOW, LIKE WE STARTED OUT WITH A QUEEN FOR LIKE 20 YEARS. 508 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,773 YOU KNOW, LIKE WE STARTED OUT WITH A QUEEN FOR LIKE 20 YEARS. WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 32 YEARS. 509 00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:31,241 WITH A QUEEN FOR LIKE 20 YEARS. WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 32 YEARS. AND 21 YEARS IN THE MARRIAGE 510 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:32,709 WE'VE BEEN MARRIED 32 YEARS. AND 21 YEARS IN THE MARRIAGE KEV I THINK WE NEED A BETTER 511 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:32,977 AND 21 YEARS IN THE MARRIAGE KEV I THINK WE NEED A BETTER BED. 512 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:33,644 KEV I THINK WE NEED A BETTER BED. A BIGGER BED. 513 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,811 BED. A BIGGER BED. AND I'M LIKE WHAT? 514 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:36,580 A BIGGER BED. AND I'M LIKE WHAT? A BIGGER BED? 515 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:37,614 AND I'M LIKE WHAT? A BIGGER BED? YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST THE 516 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:38,248 A BIGGER BED? YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE END. 517 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,316 YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE END. AND I WAS LIKE REALLY FREAKED 518 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,250 BEGINNING OF THE END. AND I WAS LIKE REALLY FREAKED OUT BY IT. 519 00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:41,518 AND I WAS LIKE REALLY FREAKED OUT BY IT. BUT WE GOT A BIGGER BED AND 520 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,719 OUT BY IT. BUT WE GOT A BIGGER BED AND LIKE OH, YEAH, BIGGER BED OF 521 00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:46,423 BUT WE GOT A BIGGER BED AND LIKE OH, YEAH, BIGGER BED OF THE THAT'S -- BIGGER BED, 522 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:46,823 LIKE OH, YEAH, BIGGER BED OF THE THAT'S -- BIGGER BED, THAT'S TRUE. 523 00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,158 THE THAT'S -- BIGGER BED, THAT'S TRUE. CONAN: MY WIFE WANTED TO TRY 524 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,193 THAT'S TRUE. CONAN: MY WIFE WANTED TO TRY BUNK BEDS AND I'M ON THE TOP 525 00:13:50,195 --> 00:13:51,962 CONAN: MY WIFE WANTED TO TRY BUNK BEDS AND I'M ON THE TOP AND SHE IS ON THE BOTTOM AND NO 526 00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:52,763 BUNK BEDS AND I'M ON THE TOP AND SHE IS ON THE BOTTOM AND NO PHYSICAL CONTACT AND DOESN'T 527 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:53,630 AND SHE IS ON THE BOTTOM AND NO PHYSICAL CONTACT AND DOESN'T WANT ME TOUCHING HER. 528 00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,866 PHYSICAL CONTACT AND DOESN'T WANT ME TOUCHING HER. SO IT'S THE TOP BED, THE BUNK 529 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:57,668 WANT ME TOUCHING HER. SO IT'S THE TOP BED, THE BUNK BED AND THE UTILITY CLOSET 530 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,268 SO IT'S THE TOP BED, THE BUNK BED AND THE UTILITY CLOSET DURING THE DAY. 531 00:13:58,270 --> 00:13:59,370 BED AND THE UTILITY CLOSET DURING THE DAY. AND WE HAVE -- THAT'S HOW YOU 532 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,837 DURING THE DAY. AND WE HAVE -- THAT'S HOW YOU KEEP A MARRIAGE GOING. 533 00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,039 AND WE HAVE -- THAT'S HOW YOU KEEP A MARRIAGE GOING. KYRA: THAT'S THE SECRET. 534 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:07,978 KEEP A MARRIAGE GOING. KYRA: THAT'S THE SECRET. CONAN: I DON'T KNOW WHY BUNK 535 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,613 KYRA: THAT'S THE SECRET. CONAN: I DON'T KNOW WHY BUNK CONAN: YOU GUYS HAD KIDS EARLY. 536 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,781 CONAN: I DON'T KNOW WHY BUNK CONAN: YOU GUYS HAD KIDS EARLY. AND THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOUR 537 00:14:11,783 --> 00:14:14,018 CONAN: YOU GUYS HAD KIDS EARLY. AND THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOUR NEW SHOW IS ABOUT. 538 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,485 AND THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOUR NEW SHOW IS ABOUT. "CALL YOUR MOTHER." 539 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,554 NEW SHOW IS ABOUT. "CALL YOUR MOTHER." BECAUSE YOU -- I'M NOT AT THE 540 00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:18,788 "CALL YOUR MOTHER." BECAUSE YOU -- I'M NOT AT THE EMPTY NESTER STAGE YET. 541 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,424 BECAUSE YOU -- I'M NOT AT THE EMPTY NESTER STAGE YET. KYRA: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS? 542 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,192 EMPTY NESTER STAGE YET. KYRA: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS? CONAN: MY KIDS ARE -- MY 543 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,194 KYRA: HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS? CONAN: MY KIDS ARE -- MY DAUGHTER IS 17. 544 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:24,829 CONAN: MY KIDS ARE -- MY DAUGHTER IS 17. KYRA: WHO? 545 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:29,233 DAUGHTER IS 17. KYRA: WHO? CONAN: MY SON IS 15. 546 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,434 KYRA: WHO? CONAN: MY SON IS 15. SO WE'RE GETTING THERE. 547 00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:31,902 CONAN: MY SON IS 15. SO WE'RE GETTING THERE. BUT I STILL CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE 548 00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:32,135 SO WE'RE GETTING THERE. BUT I STILL CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE IT. 549 00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:32,903 BUT I STILL CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE IT. KYRA: YEAH. 550 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:35,205 IT. KYRA: YEAH. CONAN: BUT I KNOW YOU HAD KIDS 551 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:35,472 KYRA: YEAH. CONAN: BUT I KNOW YOU HAD KIDS EARLY. 552 00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:36,640 CONAN: BUT I KNOW YOU HAD KIDS EARLY. AND SO YOU'VE GOT -- YOU'RE 553 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,441 EARLY. AND SO YOU'VE GOT -- YOU'RE USED TO THIS IDEA OF IT'S 554 00:14:38,443 --> 00:14:39,943 AND SO YOU'VE GOT -- YOU'RE USED TO THIS IDEA OF IT'S THINGS ARE QUIET. 555 00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:41,278 USED TO THIS IDEA OF IT'S THINGS ARE QUIET. KYRA: THINGS ARE QUIET. 556 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,213 THINGS ARE QUIET. KYRA: THINGS ARE QUIET. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT. 557 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:43,547 KYRA: THINGS ARE QUIET. THINGS ARE DIFFERENT. DEFINITELY. 558 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,449 THINGS ARE DIFFERENT. DEFINITELY. AND IT DOESN'T SUCK. 559 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:46,016 DEFINITELY. AND IT DOESN'T SUCK. I MEAN, I REALLY -- 560 00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:47,117 AND IT DOESN'T SUCK. I MEAN, I REALLY -- CONAN: YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR 561 00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:47,551 I MEAN, I REALLY -- CONAN: YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR KIDS THAT. 562 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,885 CONAN: YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR KIDS THAT. TELL YOUR KIDS YOU KNOW WHAT I 563 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:49,119 KIDS THAT. TELL YOUR KIDS YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? 564 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,455 TELL YOUR KIDS YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE? THE PART WHEN YOU WENT AWAY. 565 00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,256 LOVE? THE PART WHEN YOU WENT AWAY. KYRA: NO. 566 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,123 THE PART WHEN YOU WENT AWAY. KYRA: NO. NO. 567 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,625 KYRA: NO. NO. IT'S -- IT -- IT REALLY IS A 568 00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:56,527 NO. IT'S -- IT -- IT REALLY IS A HORRIFYING MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE 569 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:57,261 IT'S -- IT -- IT REALLY IS A HORRIFYING MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE REALLY LEAVING? 570 00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:01,532 HORRIFYING MOMENT WHEN YOU'RE REALLY LEAVING? YOU'RE REALLY LIVING R-LEAVING? 571 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,267 REALLY LEAVING? YOU'RE REALLY LIVING R-LEAVING? -- REALLY LIVING? 572 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,634 YOU'RE REALLY LIVING R-LEAVING? -- REALLY LIVING? I BIRTHED AND YOU RAISED YOU 573 00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:06,837 -- REALLY LIVING? I BIRTHED AND YOU RAISED YOU AND YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME? 574 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:07,671 I BIRTHED AND YOU RAISED YOU AND YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME? YOU DO WANT THEM TO FLY AWAY 575 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:10,040 AND YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME? YOU DO WANT THEM TO FLY AWAY AND IT'S GREAT. 576 00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,009 YOU DO WANT THEM TO FLY AWAY AND IT'S GREAT. AND I HAD KIDS SO YOUNG. 577 00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,544 AND IT'S GREAT. AND I HAD KIDS SO YOUNG. I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAD 578 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,879 AND I HAD KIDS SO YOUNG. I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAD KIDS. 579 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,681 I DIDN'T KNOW ANYONE WHO HAD KIDS. I -- NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO 580 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:18,883 KIDS. I -- NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO A LOT OF THINGS THAT LIKE I 581 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,286 I -- NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO DO A LOT OF THINGS THAT LIKE I GREW UP IN THE 1970'S, YOU 582 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:23,754 A LOT OF THINGS THAT LIKE I GREW UP IN THE 1970'S, YOU KNOW, WHERE LIKE MOTHERS DIDN'T 583 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,790 GREW UP IN THE 1970'S, YOU KNOW, WHERE LIKE MOTHERS DIDN'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND MAKE 584 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,258 KNOW, WHERE LIKE MOTHERS DIDN'T WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND MAKE THEIR KIDS BREAKFAST. 585 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,359 WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND MAKE THEIR KIDS BREAKFAST. I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT UP AND I 586 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:29,894 THEIR KIDS BREAKFAST. I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT UP AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT DRESSED 587 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,362 I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT UP AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT DRESSED AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT TO 588 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:31,595 DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT DRESSED AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL. 589 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:32,329 AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT TO SCHOOL. I KNOW I DID. 590 00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:33,663 SCHOOL. I KNOW I DID. BUT YOU KNOW, I JUST -- 591 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:34,998 I KNOW I DID. BUT YOU KNOW, I JUST -- CONAN: YOUR MOTHER -- YOUR 592 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,100 BUT YOU KNOW, I JUST -- CONAN: YOUR MOTHER -- YOUR MOTHER -- YOU FELT LIKE YOUR 593 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,267 CONAN: YOUR MOTHER -- YOUR MOTHER -- YOU FELT LIKE YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T TEACH YOU THE 594 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,903 MOTHER -- YOU FELT LIKE YOUR MOTHER DIDN'T TEACH YOU THE NECESSARY THINGS YOU NEEDED TO 595 00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:39,169 MOTHER DIDN'T TEACH YOU THE NECESSARY THINGS YOU NEEDED TO KNOW? 596 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,204 NECESSARY THINGS YOU NEEDED TO KNOW? KYRA: HERE'S THE THING. 597 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:42,306 KNOW? KYRA: HERE'S THE THING. I CAN'T GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT 598 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:42,539 KYRA: HERE'S THE THING. I CAN'T GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS. 599 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:45,141 I CAN'T GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS. BECAUSE SHE IS WATCHING 600 00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:45,375 THIS. BECAUSE SHE IS WATCHING TONIGHT. 601 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:46,910 BECAUSE SHE IS WATCHING TONIGHT. AND I'LL TELL YOU THAT RIGHT 602 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:47,144 TONIGHT. AND I'LL TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW. 603 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,979 AND I'LL TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW. SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT LITTLE 604 00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,747 NOW. SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT LITTLE THINGS LIKE WHEN TO GO TO THE 605 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,649 SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT LITTLE THINGS LIKE WHEN TO GO TO THE DENTIST AND LIKE WHEN TO WASH 606 00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:55,919 THINGS LIKE WHEN TO GO TO THE DENTIST AND LIKE WHEN TO WASH YOUR HANDS, AFTER YOU USE THE 607 00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:56,153 DENTIST AND LIKE WHEN TO WASH YOUR HANDS, AFTER YOU USE THE -- 608 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:57,554 YOUR HANDS, AFTER YOU USE THE -- CONAN: SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU YOU 609 00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:59,223 -- CONAN: SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU YOU HAVE TO WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER 610 00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:00,925 CONAN: SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU YOU HAVE TO WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER YOU USE THE BATHROOM? 611 00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,793 HAVE TO WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER YOU USE THE BATHROOM? KYRA: LIKE I SAID WE WILL NOT 612 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,328 YOU USE THE BATHROOM? KYRA: LIKE I SAID WE WILL NOT GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS. 613 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:05,095 KYRA: LIKE I SAID WE WILL NOT GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS. CONAN: YOU JUST DID. 614 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,229 GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS. CONAN: YOU JUST DID. YOU WENT INTO DETAIL. 615 00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:07,998 CONAN: YOU JUST DID. YOU WENT INTO DETAIL. KYRA: THE THING IS WHEN I WAS 616 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,901 YOU WENT INTO DETAIL. KYRA: THE THING IS WHEN I WAS 23, AND I HAD THIS BABY, I WAS 617 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,969 KYRA: THE THING IS WHEN I WAS 23, AND I HAD THIS BABY, I WAS LIKE NO ONE TELLS YOU HOW TO DO 618 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:13,303 23, AND I HAD THIS BABY, I WAS LIKE NO ONE TELLS YOU HOW TO DO ANYTHING. 619 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,305 LIKE NO ONE TELLS YOU HOW TO DO ANYTHING. I WAS 23, KEV WAS 30. 620 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,973 ANYTHING. I WAS 23, KEV WAS 30. WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING AND 621 00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:19,543 I WAS 23, KEV WAS 30. WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING AND ALSO WE KNEW -- THOUGHT WE KNEW 622 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:19,910 WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING AND ALSO WE KNEW -- THOUGHT WE KNEW EVERYTHING. 623 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,212 ALSO WE KNEW -- THOUGHT WE KNEW EVERYTHING. SO WE LITERALLY BROUGHT THIS 624 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:22,579 EVERYTHING. SO WE LITERALLY BROUGHT THIS BABY HOME. 625 00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:23,914 SO WE LITERALLY BROUGHT THIS BABY HOME. AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A 626 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:24,715 BABY HOME. AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER. 627 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,349 AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A DIAPER. CONAN: YEAH. 628 00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,751 DIAPER. CONAN: YEAH. KYRA: I'M NOT -- I'M NOT 629 00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:28,251 CONAN: YEAH. KYRA: I'M NOT -- I'M NOT EXAGGERATING. 630 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:31,154 KYRA: I'M NOT -- I'M NOT EXAGGERATING. CONAN: WE WENT FLEW THAT, TOO. 631 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,222 EXAGGERATING. CONAN: WE WENT FLEW THAT, TOO. NO -- WENT THROUGH THAT, TOO. 632 00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,857 CONAN: WE WENT FLEW THAT, TOO. NO -- WENT THROUGH THAT, TOO. NO ONE TELLS YOU ANY OF THIS. 633 00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:34,625 NO -- WENT THROUGH THAT, TOO. NO ONE TELLS YOU ANY OF THIS. KYRA: AND IN THE BEGINNING, 634 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,926 NO ONE TELLS YOU ANY OF THIS. KYRA: AND IN THE BEGINNING, THEY'RE COMPLETELY FOLD NEED 635 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:36,693 KYRA: AND IN THE BEGINNING, THEY'RE COMPLETELY FOLD NEED EACH OTHER. 636 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:37,661 THEY'RE COMPLETELY FOLD NEED EACH OTHER. DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT? 637 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,363 EACH OTHER. DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT? OR DID YOU -- DID YOU NOT -- 638 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:42,432 DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT? OR DID YOU -- DID YOU NOT -- CONAN: WHEN MY -- EACH TIME MY 639 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:45,669 OR DID YOU -- DID YOU NOT -- CONAN: WHEN MY -- EACH TIME MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH, I LEFT FOR A 640 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:46,937 CONAN: WHEN MY -- EACH TIME MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH, I LEFT FOR A PERIOD OF -- I THINK A YEAR 641 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,238 WIFE GAVE BIRTH, I LEFT FOR A PERIOD OF -- I THINK A YEAR EACH TIME AND STAYED AT A 642 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:48,605 PERIOD OF -- I THINK A YEAR EACH TIME AND STAYED AT A HOTEL. 643 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,240 EACH TIME AND STAYED AT A HOTEL. AND THEN I CAME BACK WHEN I WAS 644 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,775 HOTEL. AND THEN I CAME BACK WHEN I WAS TOLD THE COAST WAS CLEAR. 645 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,744 AND THEN I CAME BACK WHEN I WAS TOLD THE COAST WAS CLEAR. THAT WAS MY WAY OF DOING IT. 646 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:54,278 TOLD THE COAST WAS CLEAR. THAT WAS MY WAY OF DOING IT. KYRA: I KNOW -- 647 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,280 THAT WAS MY WAY OF DOING IT. KYRA: I KNOW -- CONAN: IT'S NOT TRUE. 648 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:57,581 KYRA: I KNOW -- CONAN: IT'S NOT TRUE. BUT -- 649 00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,349 CONAN: IT'S NOT TRUE. BUT -- KYRA: THAT'S NOT TRUE. 650 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,684 BUT -- KYRA: THAT'S NOT TRUE. CONAN: TRUST ME, I THOUGHT 651 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,084 KYRA: THAT'S NOT TRUE. CONAN: TRUST ME, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 652 00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:02,452 CONAN: TRUST ME, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. I THOUGHT ABOUT -- MAYBE I 653 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:03,988 ABOUT IT. I THOUGHT ABOUT -- MAYBE I COULD GO TO A HOTEL FOR A YEAR. 654 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,656 I THOUGHT ABOUT -- MAYBE I COULD GO TO A HOTEL FOR A YEAR. AND THEN COME BACK WHEN -- WHEN 655 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,857 COULD GO TO A HOTEL FOR A YEAR. AND THEN COME BACK WHEN -- WHEN MY CHILD IS WEARING LIKE A 656 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,458 AND THEN COME BACK WHEN -- WHEN MY CHILD IS WEARING LIKE A LITTLE SAILOR SUIT AND LIKE 657 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:08,959 MY CHILD IS WEARING LIKE A LITTLE SAILOR SUIT AND LIKE HELLO, FATHER. 658 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,393 LITTLE SAILOR SUIT AND LIKE HELLO, FATHER. NICE TO SEE YOU. 659 00:17:10,395 --> 00:17:11,094 HELLO, FATHER. NICE TO SEE YOU. COME IN. 660 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,931 NICE TO SEE YOU. COME IN. I BROUGHT YOU YOUR SLIPPERS. 661 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,600 COME IN. I BROUGHT YOU YOUR SLIPPERS. KYRA: I DIDN'T -- THERE WAS A 662 00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,569 I BROUGHT YOU YOUR SLIPPERS. KYRA: I DIDN'T -- THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MY SON, MY FIRST KID, 663 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:22,439 KYRA: I DIDN'T -- THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MY SON, MY FIRST KID, HE STARTED TO, YOU KNOW, GET UP 664 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:23,674 TIME WHEN MY SON, MY FIRST KID, HE STARTED TO, YOU KNOW, GET UP OUT OF THE CRIB, YOU KNOW? 665 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,709 HE STARTED TO, YOU KNOW, GET UP OUT OF THE CRIB, YOU KNOW? AT LIKE A VERY YOUNG AGE. 666 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,511 OUT OF THE CRIB, YOU KNOW? AT LIKE A VERY YOUNG AGE. LIBE MAKE A YEAR INTO IT. 667 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,514 AT LIKE A VERY YOUNG AGE. LIBE MAKE A YEAR INTO IT. WHICH IS -- MAKE MAYBE A YEAR 668 00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,682 LIBE MAKE A YEAR INTO IT. WHICH IS -- MAKE MAYBE A YEAR INTO IT. 669 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,983 WHICH IS -- MAKE MAYBE A YEAR INTO IT. WHICH IS SOMETHING PARENTS FIND 670 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,618 INTO IT. WHICH IS SOMETHING PARENTS FIND OUT AND I DIDN'T KNOW -- IT 671 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,788 WHICH IS SOMETHING PARENTS FIND OUT AND I DIDN'T KNOW -- IT DIDN'T MEAN YOU PUT THEM IN A 672 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:38,955 OUT AND I DIDN'T KNOW -- IT DIDN'T MEAN YOU PUT THEM IN A BIG BOY BED WHICH IS WHAT I 673 00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:39,290 DIDN'T MEAN YOU PUT THEM IN A BIG BOY BED WHICH IS WHAT I THOUGHT. 674 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,825 BIG BOY BED WHICH IS WHAT I THOUGHT. OH, WELL, WE WERE LIKE OH, 675 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,125 THOUGHT. OH, WELL, WE WERE LIKE OH, WELL, HE'S 1 AND IT'S TIME TO 676 00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,360 OH, WELL, WE WERE LIKE OH, WELL, HE'S 1 AND IT'S TIME TO BE IN A BIG BOY BED. 677 00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:44,695 WELL, HE'S 1 AND IT'S TIME TO BE IN A BIG BOY BED. AND WE PUT HIM IN A BIG BOY 678 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:44,895 BE IN A BIG BOY BED. AND WE PUT HIM IN A BIG BOY BED. 679 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,830 AND WE PUT HIM IN A BIG BOY BED. LIKE A REAL BED. 680 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:48,231 BED. LIKE A REAL BED. AND WE WOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND 681 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,434 LIKE A REAL BED. AND WE WOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND WE WOULD BE WATCHING TV AND WE 682 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:53,103 AND WE WOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND WE WOULD BE WATCHING TV AND WE WOULD HEAR THIS GIANT -- FROM 683 00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:53,604 WE WOULD BE WATCHING TV AND WE WOULD HEAR THIS GIANT -- FROM UPSTAIRS. 684 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,840 WOULD HEAR THIS GIANT -- FROM UPSTAIRS. AND WE GO UP THE STAIRS. 685 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,541 UPSTAIRS. AND WE GO UP THE STAIRS. AND TRAVIS HAD FALLEN OUT OF 686 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:58,642 AND WE GO UP THE STAIRS. AND TRAVIS HAD FALLEN OUT OF THE BED. 687 00:17:58,644 --> 00:17:59,076 AND TRAVIS HAD FALLEN OUT OF THE BED. CONAN: SURE. 688 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,344 THE BED. CONAN: SURE. KYRA: AND LIKE OH, WELL. 689 00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:01,846 CONAN: SURE. KYRA: AND LIKE OH, WELL. PICK HIM UP AND PUT HIM BACK IN 690 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:02,346 KYRA: AND LIKE OH, WELL. PICK HIM UP AND PUT HIM BACK IN THE BED. 691 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:03,380 PICK HIM UP AND PUT HIM BACK IN THE BED. AND DIDN'T EVEN THINK TWICE 692 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:03,947 THE BED. AND DIDN'T EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT IT. 693 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,449 AND DIDN'T EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT IT. OH, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, 694 00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:05,683 ABOUT IT. OH, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, RIGHT? 695 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,051 OH, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, RIGHT? LIKE PEOPLE -- KIDS FALL OUT OF 696 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:07,251 RIGHT? LIKE PEOPLE -- KIDS FALL OUT OF BED. 697 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,152 LIKE PEOPLE -- KIDS FALL OUT OF BED. IT WASN'T UNTIL MY STEPMOTHER 698 00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,655 BED. IT WASN'T UNTIL MY STEPMOTHER CAME OVER ONE DAY AND -- LOOK, 699 00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:13,023 IT WASN'T UNTIL MY STEPMOTHER CAME OVER ONE DAY AND -- LOOK, TRAVIS IN A THE BIG BOY BED AND 700 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,859 CAME OVER ONE DAY AND -- LOOK, TRAVIS IN A THE BIG BOY BED AND YOU DON'T HAVE BUMPERS ON THE 701 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:18,462 TRAVIS IN A THE BIG BOY BED AND YOU DON'T HAVE BUMPERS ON THE BED WHICH IS LIKE WHAT YOU DO 702 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:20,163 YOU DON'T HAVE BUMPERS ON THE BED WHICH IS LIKE WHAT YOU DO IN BETWEEN THE CRIB AND THE BIG 703 00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:20,964 BED WHICH IS LIKE WHAT YOU DO IN BETWEEN THE CRIB AND THE BIG BOY BED. 704 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:26,836 IN BETWEEN THE CRIB AND THE BIG BOY BED. YOU PUT -- AND LIKE OH, WHAT -- 705 00:18:26,838 --> 00:18:28,672 BOY BED. YOU PUT -- AND LIKE OH, WHAT -- CONAN: WHAT ELSE WORKS IS DUCT 706 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,341 YOU PUT -- AND LIKE OH, WHAT -- CONAN: WHAT ELSE WORKS IS DUCT TAPE. 707 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,742 CONAN: WHAT ELSE WORKS IS DUCT TAPE. DUCT TAPE HOLDS THE BABY RIGHT 708 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:31,876 TAPE. DUCT TAPE HOLDS THE BABY RIGHT THERE. 709 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,410 DUCT TAPE HOLDS THE BABY RIGHT THERE. I'M CURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING. 710 00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,412 THERE. I'M CURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING. YOU'RE DOING THIS SHOW "CALL 711 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:35,746 I'M CURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING. YOU'RE DOING THIS SHOW "CALL YOUR MOTHER." 712 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,415 YOU'RE DOING THIS SHOW "CALL YOUR MOTHER." AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS 713 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,684 YOUR MOTHER." AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT DOING A 714 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,486 AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT DOING A MULTICAMERA SHOW, SITCOM, IS 715 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,288 SO GREAT ABOUT DOING A MULTICAMERA SHOW, SITCOM, IS YOU HAVE AN AUDIENCE THERE. 716 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,222 MULTICAMERA SHOW, SITCOM, IS YOU HAVE AN AUDIENCE THERE. AND THEY GIVE THAT YOU RUSH OF 717 00:18:46,224 --> 00:18:46,590 YOU HAVE AN AUDIENCE THERE. AND THEY GIVE THAT YOU RUSH OF ENERGY. 718 00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:47,791 AND THEY GIVE THAT YOU RUSH OF ENERGY. AND YOU WALK IN AND THEY'RE 719 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,159 ENERGY. AND YOU WALK IN AND THEY'RE THRILLED TO SEE YOU. 720 00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,694 AND YOU WALK IN AND THEY'RE THRILLED TO SEE YOU. AND THAT'S WHAT -- EVEN WHEN 721 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,730 THRILLED TO SEE YOU. AND THAT'S WHAT -- EVEN WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING THOSE SHOWS, 722 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,997 AND THAT'S WHAT -- EVEN WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING THOSE SHOWS, THE ENERGY OF THE AUDIENCE IS 723 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:54,831 YOU'RE WATCHING THOSE SHOWS, THE ENERGY OF THE AUDIENCE IS WHAT HELPS SO MUCH. 724 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,300 THE ENERGY OF THE AUDIENCE IS WHAT HELPS SO MUCH. AND I KNOW THAT YOU GUYS ARE 725 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,667 WHAT HELPS SO MUCH. AND I KNOW THAT YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS SHOW. 726 00:18:57,669 --> 00:18:59,770 AND I KNOW THAT YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS SHOW. AND -- VERY FUNNY COMEDY. 727 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:00,804 MAKING THIS SHOW. AND -- VERY FUNNY COMEDY. BUT YOU HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR 728 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,505 AND -- VERY FUNNY COMEDY. BUT YOU HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS. 729 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,907 BUT YOU HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS. YOU CAN'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE. 730 00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,809 OWN INSTINCTS. YOU CAN'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE. KYRA: AND TO RELY ON YOUR OWN 731 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,778 YOU CAN'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE. KYRA: AND TO RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS AND ALSO HAVE TO RELY 732 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,513 KYRA: AND TO RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS AND ALSO HAVE TO RELY ON LIKE -- WELL, FIRST OF ALL, 733 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:10,581 INSTINCTS AND ALSO HAVE TO RELY ON LIKE -- WELL, FIRST OF ALL, YES, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO 734 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,782 ON LIKE -- WELL, FIRST OF ALL, YES, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS 735 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,883 YES, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE GOOD. 736 00:19:13,885 --> 00:19:15,819 RELY ON YOUR OWN INSTINCTS WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE GOOD. BUT ALSO YOU HAVE TO LIKE RELY 737 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,590 WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE GOOD. BUT ALSO YOU HAVE TO LIKE RELY ON YOUR OWN EGO TO LIKE GET YOU 738 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,292 BUT ALSO YOU HAVE TO LIKE RELY ON YOUR OWN EGO TO LIKE GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY, RIGHT? 739 00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:23,493 ON YOUR OWN EGO TO LIKE GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY, RIGHT? I MEAN, ARE YOU EXPERIENCING 740 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:23,827 THROUGH THE DAY, RIGHT? I MEAN, ARE YOU EXPERIENCING THIS? 741 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:24,328 I MEAN, ARE YOU EXPERIENCING THIS? IT'S LIKE -- 742 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:24,929 THIS? IT'S LIKE -- CONAN: OH, YEAH. 743 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,297 IT'S LIKE -- CONAN: OH, YEAH. I HAVE SUCH A BIG EGO AND 744 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:27,697 CONAN: OH, YEAH. I HAVE SUCH A BIG EGO AND YOU'RE RIGHT. 745 00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:29,399 I HAVE SUCH A BIG EGO AND YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S YOUR EGO THAT GETS YOU 746 00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:32,202 YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S YOUR EGO THAT GETS YOU THROUGH IT. 747 00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,238 IT'S YOUR EGO THAT GETS YOU THROUGH IT. I HEAR HUGE LAUGHS IN MY MIND. 748 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,339 THROUGH IT. I HEAR HUGE LAUGHS IN MY MIND. NOW, THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T 749 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,940 I HEAR HUGE LAUGHS IN MY MIND. NOW, THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T EXIST IN REAL LIFE IF THERE WAS 750 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,708 NOW, THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T EXIST IN REAL LIFE IF THERE WAS AN AUDIENCE HERE. 751 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:42,746 EXIST IN REAL LIFE IF THERE WAS AN AUDIENCE HERE. BUT AS LONG AS MY DILUTION -- 752 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,549 AN AUDIENCE HERE. BUT AS LONG AS MY DILUTION -- DELUSION IS WHAT'S KEEPING ME 753 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:45,816 BUT AS LONG AS MY DILUTION -- DELUSION IS WHAT'S KEEPING ME GOING. 754 00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:46,750 DELUSION IS WHAT'S KEEPING ME GOING. KYRA: GIVE ME SOME OF THAT 755 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:47,184 GOING. KYRA: GIVE ME SOME OF THAT DELUSION. 756 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,685 KYRA: GIVE ME SOME OF THAT DELUSION. CONAN: I GOT PLENTY LEFT OVER. 757 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,889 DELUSION. CONAN: I GOT PLENTY LEFT OVER. KYRA: COME ON. 758 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,657 CONAN: I GOT PLENTY LEFT OVER. KYRA: COME ON. I SPEND A LOT OF TIME GOING 759 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:57,461 KYRA: COME ON. I SPEND A LOT OF TIME GOING LIKE YOU SUCK. 760 00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:58,195 I SPEND A LOT OF TIME GOING LIKE YOU SUCK. CONAN: I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE 761 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,563 LIKE YOU SUCK. CONAN: I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. 762 00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,598 CONAN: I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW, 763 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,366 TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW, "CALL YOUR MOTHER," AIRS 764 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,701 CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW, "CALL YOUR MOTHER," AIRS WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30. 765 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:05,435 "CALL YOUR MOTHER," AIRS WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30. ON ABC. 766 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,738 WEDNESDAYS AT 9:30. ON ABC. AND DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD TO BE 767 00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:08,405 ON ABC. AND DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD TO BE MAKING SOMETHING, THOUGH? 768 00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:10,174 AND DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD TO BE MAKING SOMETHING, THOUGH? I KNOW THERE'S NO AUDIENCE. 769 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,842 MAKING SOMETHING, THOUGH? I KNOW THERE'S NO AUDIENCE. BUT YOU'RE THERE. 770 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:12,843 I KNOW THERE'S NO AUDIENCE. BUT YOU'RE THERE. YOU'RE MAKING SOMETHING. 771 00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,344 BUT YOU'RE THERE. YOU'RE MAKING SOMETHING. YOU'RE MAKING SOMETHING FUNNY. 772 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:15,445 YOU'RE MAKING SOMETHING. YOU'RE MAKING SOMETHING FUNNY. WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU LIKE. 773 00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:16,914 YOU'RE MAKING SOMETHING FUNNY. WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU LIKE. AND THAT'S THE BLESSING. 774 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,649 WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU LIKE. AND THAT'S THE BLESSING. TO ME, THAT'S THE BLESSING. 775 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,083 AND THAT'S THE BLESSING. TO ME, THAT'S THE BLESSING. KYRA: IT IS A BLESSING. 776 00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:21,485 TO ME, THAT'S THE BLESSING. KYRA: IT IS A BLESSING. IS IT IS SUCH A BLESSING AND 777 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,285 KYRA: IT IS A BLESSING. IS IT IS SUCH A BLESSING AND LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO DO IT AND 778 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,787 IS IT IS SUCH A BLESSING AND LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO DO IT AND BE ABLE TO EMPLOY PEOPLE. 779 00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:24,989 LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO DO IT AND BE ABLE TO EMPLOY PEOPLE. CONAN: SO WHAT I WOULD LIKE YOU 780 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:28,225 BE ABLE TO EMPLOY PEOPLE. CONAN: SO WHAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO IS SOMETIME SOON ONCE WE 781 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:31,461 CONAN: SO WHAT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO IS SOMETIME SOON ONCE WE ALL GET VACCINATED AND I GET MY 782 00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:32,596 TO DO IS SOMETIME SOON ONCE WE ALL GET VACCINATED AND I GET MY SHOT AND YOU GET YOUR SHOT 783 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:36,667 ALL GET VACCINATED AND I GET MY SHOT AND YOU GET YOUR SHOT BRING THE CLACKER AND DO -- 784 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:36,967 SHOT AND YOU GET YOUR SHOT BRING THE CLACKER AND DO -- [LAUGHTER] 785 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,002 BRING THE CLACKER AND DO -- [LAUGHTER] I NEED JUST A LITTLE OF THAT. 786 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,336 [LAUGHTER] I NEED JUST A LITTLE OF THAT. I JUST NEED A LITTLE OF THAT IN 787 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:39,903 I NEED JUST A LITTLE OF THAT. I JUST NEED A LITTLE OF THAT IN MY PLIFE. 788 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:40,671 I JUST NEED A LITTLE OF THAT IN MY PLIFE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING 789 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:41,972 MY PLIFE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING TO ME, KYRA. 790 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,307 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALKING TO ME, KYRA. I LOVE DISCUSSING THINGS WITH 791 00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:43,507 TO ME, KYRA. I LOVE DISCUSSING THINGS WITH YOU. 792 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:44,408 I LOVE DISCUSSING THINGS WITH YOU. YOU'VE ALWAYS -- YOU'RE ALWAYS 793 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,209 YOU. YOU'VE ALWAYS -- YOU'RE ALWAYS A GREAT GUEST. 794 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:46,977 YOU'VE ALWAYS -- YOU'RE ALWAYS A GREAT GUEST. AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. 795 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,378 A GREAT GUEST. AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. KYRA: THANK YOU. 796 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,079 AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. KYRA: THANK YOU. TAKE GOOD CARE. 797 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,113 KYRA: THANK YOU. TAKE GOOD CARE. SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 798 00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:51,715 TAKE GOOD CARE. SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. CONAN: GOOD TO SEE YOU. 799 00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:52,783 SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. CONAN: GOOD TO SEE YOU. HAVE A GIANT GLASS OF WATER. 800 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:53,383 CONAN: GOOD TO SEE YOU. HAVE A GIANT GLASS OF WATER. KYRA: YEAH. 801 00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:59,289 HAVE A GIANT GLASS OF WATER. KYRA: YEAH. HERE IT COMES. 802 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:00,056 KYRA: YEAH. HERE IT COMES. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. 803 00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:00,825 HERE IT COMES. CONAN: ALL RIGHT. THAT IS OUR SHOW. 804 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,759 CONAN: ALL RIGHT. THAT IS OUR SHOW. WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. 805 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:02,993 THAT IS OUR SHOW. WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. GOOD