1 00:00:31,126 --> 00:00:33,751 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:33,751 --> 00:00:36,334 What are you? A dog or a cow? 3 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:38,668 I'm a dog, but not just a dog. 4 00:00:38,668 --> 00:00:41,084 I'm a dog with a boner. Check it out! 5 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,293 [pen clicking] 6 00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,126 [boys laughing] 7 00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:47,584 Well, there it is. Is the poop ready? 8 00:00:47,584 --> 00:00:49,501 That's a roger on the poop. 9 00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:52,001 Oh, holy crap, how big was that dog? 10 00:00:52,001 --> 00:00:53,876 Small, but there was seven of them. 11 00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:55,709 [dog barking in distance] 12 00:00:55,709 --> 00:00:58,376 I'll give you three reasons why this is a bad idea. 13 00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:00,501 One, cops. Two, dogs. 14 00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:03,001 Three, NRA front door. 15 00:01:03,001 --> 00:01:05,251 [JT] Quit worrying, Dean. These people deserve it. 16 00:01:05,251 --> 00:01:07,251 They never give out candy. 17 00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:09,584 Yeah, but remember last time we pulled something like this? 18 00:01:09,584 --> 00:01:11,168 Dean got his arm broke. 19 00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:13,584 That's because he ran off alone and fell in a ditch. 20 00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:15,334 If he just sticks with us, he'll be fine. 21 00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:18,084 Come on! Let's do this. 22 00:01:18,709 --> 00:01:20,251 [whispering] Okay... 23 00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:24,043 [upbeat music] 24 00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:30,084 [lighter clicking] 25 00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:35,251 - [doorbell chimes] - Go! 26 00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,626 [boys chuckling] 27 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,626 [Dean] Ahh, uh-oh... 28 00:01:50,626 --> 00:01:52,668 It's getting kinda big-ish. 29 00:01:52,668 --> 00:01:54,626 [fire sizzling] 30 00:01:54,626 --> 00:01:56,709 - Come on! - Quick! 31 00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:58,168 [crashing] 32 00:01:58,168 --> 00:02:01,626 [boys grunting] 33 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,126 No! 34 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,209 [splattering] 35 00:02:08,209 --> 00:02:09,543 [coughing and groaning] 36 00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:11,626 [JT] Doo-doo in mouth! Doo-doo in mouth! 37 00:02:11,626 --> 00:02:12,709 Let's get out of here! 38 00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:14,584 We can't - there's people in there! 39 00:02:16,626 --> 00:02:17,793 [banging] 40 00:02:18,293 --> 00:02:19,918 [Dean] Don't shoot! Don't shoot! 41 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:21,459 The scarecrow set your house on fire. 42 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,709 No one's home. We gotta call 911! 43 00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:28,709 Dude! You're seriously overreacting. 44 00:02:29,293 --> 00:02:31,293 [kids screaming] 45 00:02:31,293 --> 00:02:32,709 Call 911! 46 00:02:32,709 --> 00:02:35,668 Hey, look! They do give out candy. 47 00:02:35,668 --> 00:02:36,668 [fire alarm beeping] 48 00:02:36,668 --> 00:02:37,918 We're so dead! 49 00:02:37,918 --> 00:02:40,251 Oh, my God! My father's going to kill me. 50 00:02:40,251 --> 00:02:42,668 Come on, let's go. Let's get out of here. 51 00:02:42,668 --> 00:02:45,376 Wait! Wait a second, I got an idea. 52 00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,918 - Who's got a pen? - Use Wes's dick! 53 00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:52,959 Quick! Give me a first name. 54 00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,084 Zeus! 55 00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:55,126 A kid's name! 56 00:02:55,126 --> 00:02:57,001 - Ricky! - Okay. 57 00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:59,251 [Dean] Now a last name. 58 00:02:59,251 --> 00:03:00,376 I got it! Stanton. 59 00:03:02,584 --> 00:03:04,334 Wait, no! What? That's my last name. 60 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,793 So? Your first name's not Ricky. 61 00:03:06,793 --> 00:03:08,168 [exasperated groan] 62 00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:11,209 - Come on. - Come on. 63 00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:13,584 Go! 64 00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:15,751 [siren approaching] 65 00:03:16,418 --> 00:03:19,584 - [water spraying] - [fire crew chattering] 66 00:03:21,626 --> 00:03:22,959 Check this out. 67 00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:25,876 Numb-nuts kid caught his jacket on fire during his prank. 68 00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:26,959 Here's the best part. 69 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,751 His mommy wrote his name on the collar. 70 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,751 [fireman] 'Ricky Stanicky'? 71 00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:32,959 [laughing] Dumb shit. 72 00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,501 Bad news, Chief. Just heard back. 73 00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:36,376 No Stanickys in the school district. 74 00:03:36,376 --> 00:03:37,959 Kid must be from out of town. 75 00:03:37,959 --> 00:03:39,084 Shit. 76 00:03:40,709 --> 00:03:43,418 I can't believe that actually worked. 77 00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:47,918 Guys, I think we just made a friend for life. 78 00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:50,834 [all chuckle] 79 00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:56,959 ["Oil" by Gorillaz plays] 80 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,334 [mutters angrily] 81 00:03:58,334 --> 00:03:59,793 [steam blasting] 82 00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:02,584 [arrows pinging] 83 00:04:02,584 --> 00:04:04,626 [bees buzzing] 84 00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:08,043 [children screaming] 85 00:04:13,584 --> 00:04:15,793 [mower accelerating] 86 00:04:21,876 --> 00:04:25,334 ♪ Then I put my codes ♪ 87 00:04:25,334 --> 00:04:27,584 ♪ In the machine ♪ 88 00:04:29,418 --> 00:04:31,668 ♪ But the world I found ♪ 89 00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:34,793 ♪ Was made of faulty dreams ♪ 90 00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:37,043 ♪ Of faulty dreams ♪ 91 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:40,793 ♪ Fairy-like companions ♪ 92 00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:44,543 ♪ To the dark maths That catapult ♪ 93 00:04:44,543 --> 00:04:48,251 ♪ Us into imagined worlds ♪ 94 00:04:48,251 --> 00:04:51,793 ♪ Seems a mockery remote ♪ 95 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:02,793 [man on TV] Want to grab a quick drink? 96 00:05:03,959 --> 00:05:05,918 Why would you have a quick drink... 97 00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:06,959 [phone chimes] 98 00:05:07,459 --> 00:05:09,543 [man on TV] ...when you can have the long drink? 99 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,626 In Finland, the happiest country on Earth, 100 00:05:11,626 --> 00:05:13,584 we invented the long drink... 101 00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:15,418 That's it for the beer in the garage. 102 00:05:15,418 --> 00:05:17,209 Do we need to run out and get more? 103 00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:18,793 No. That's perfect. 104 00:05:18,793 --> 00:05:20,168 You sure? 105 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:23,251 - Yeah. The place looks amazing. - Yeah? 106 00:05:23,251 --> 00:05:24,918 Maybe this would be a good side hustle for us. 107 00:05:24,918 --> 00:05:25,959 [laughs] 108 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,793 Erin and Dean's baby showers. 109 00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:29,543 - I like it. - Yeah. 110 00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:31,251 And that's when Gilbert Gines realized 111 00:05:31,251 --> 00:05:33,501 that the answer to gang violence 112 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:37,001 may be found in the spit-valve of a well-worn trumpet. 113 00:05:37,001 --> 00:05:38,126 What is this? 114 00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:39,918 Uh, it's a show called 'Hero of the Week'. 115 00:05:39,918 --> 00:05:42,709 It's about everyday people who do these incredible things. 116 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,918 My producer at Channel 6 wants me to submit for it. 117 00:05:44,918 --> 00:05:46,626 He says he has a good contact there. 118 00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:47,876 Well, what are you waiting for? 119 00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:50,251 Well, if I want MFMBC to notice me, 120 00:05:50,251 --> 00:05:52,168 what I need are better assignments, 121 00:05:52,168 --> 00:05:55,418 but all I get are these babies-who-Tweet stories. 122 00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:57,001 Mm! 123 00:05:57,001 --> 00:05:58,293 Speaking of babies, 124 00:05:58,293 --> 00:06:01,084 can you please hang these pictures up for me, over there. 125 00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:02,918 It's JT and Susan's baby pictures. 126 00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:07,168 Jesus, God! Was JT born with adult teeth? 127 00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:09,959 Oh, come on, his teeth are cute. Look at that. 128 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:12,584 Cute? He looks like hillbilly Hitler. 129 00:06:12,584 --> 00:06:13,668 [Erin chuckles] 130 00:06:13,668 --> 00:06:15,959 - You think all babies are cute. - All babies are cute. 131 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,709 Yeah, sure. 132 00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:20,001 And the remotes are sticky for like 20 years. 133 00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:21,251 Well, there are good things 134 00:06:21,251 --> 00:06:22,584 about having kids too, you know. 135 00:06:22,584 --> 00:06:24,376 - Really? - Yeah. 136 00:06:24,376 --> 00:06:26,668 I don't remember my parents feeling that way. 137 00:06:27,418 --> 00:06:29,709 You don't think your parents enjoyed having kids? 138 00:06:30,418 --> 00:06:32,834 It doesn't matter. What we have is way better. 139 00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:34,334 It's what we always talked about. 140 00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:35,334 Hmm. 141 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:37,209 I love you. 142 00:06:38,084 --> 00:06:39,168 You love me. 143 00:06:39,668 --> 00:06:42,084 - We love Paul. - Hmm. 144 00:06:43,418 --> 00:06:45,334 - And we don't need anyone else. - [door opens] 145 00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:47,501 Oh, my God! JT, leave me alone! 146 00:06:47,501 --> 00:06:50,709 It is my baby shower, I'm going to have one drink. One! 147 00:06:50,709 --> 00:06:52,626 Dr. Kurihara said it is perfectly fine. Hello. 148 00:06:52,626 --> 00:06:55,209 Dr. Kurihara is part of the medical industrial complex, 149 00:06:55,209 --> 00:06:57,418 and Midwife Maggie said you're on a strict vegan diet 150 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,084 and absolutely no alcohol. 151 00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:01,959 Okay, well you are not Midwife Maggie, you are my husband. 152 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,251 Yeah, I know, but I'm also Daddy Doula. 153 00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:05,918 - That's my job. - You gotta stop saying that. 154 00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:07,418 You're going to make the baby throw up. 155 00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:09,334 They can't... Can they throw up inside of there? 156 00:07:09,334 --> 00:07:10,793 Wait, JT's your doula? 157 00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:13,209 Yeah, he also wants to be naked when the baby is born. 158 00:07:13,209 --> 00:07:14,918 - Don't you? - I don't want to be naked. 159 00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,459 I just want my shirt off, okay, 160 00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:18,251 for the first embrace, skin to skin. 161 00:07:18,251 --> 00:07:20,126 - It's a bonding thing. - [cell phone ringing] 162 00:07:20,126 --> 00:07:21,584 - Good. - Hey, you better get that. 163 00:07:21,584 --> 00:07:23,501 That's the fourth time Ricky called in, like, 20 minutes. 164 00:07:23,501 --> 00:07:24,584 Yeah, see what he wants, man. 165 00:07:24,584 --> 00:07:25,793 He's been blowing me up all day. 166 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,626 - Really? - [JT] Yeah. 167 00:07:27,626 --> 00:07:29,043 All right. 168 00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:32,376 Stanicky! What up, man? How's it going? 169 00:07:32,376 --> 00:07:34,501 [Erin] I'm going to get you a tea, not wine, don't drink. 170 00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:37,584 Yeah, hey I'm in the middle of something right now. I just... 171 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,834 Are you serious? 172 00:07:43,918 --> 00:07:46,376 Uh-huh. Okay. 173 00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:51,334 Well, just do me a favor and have someone call me 174 00:07:51,334 --> 00:07:53,126 when you get out of surgery, all right? 175 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,584 So you're all alone? 176 00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:00,418 Shit, man, that sucks. 177 00:08:00,918 --> 00:08:02,001 All right, hang in there. 178 00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:03,584 We'll all be sending you positive vibes 179 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,126 from over here, buddy. 180 00:08:07,168 --> 00:08:08,418 Love you too, man. 181 00:08:09,209 --> 00:08:11,251 What's going on? What did he say? 182 00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:13,709 It's back. 183 00:08:14,209 --> 00:08:15,209 What's back? 184 00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:18,168 - The cancer. - Oh, God. 185 00:08:18,168 --> 00:08:19,959 I thought he was out of the woods. 186 00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:21,001 [Susan] Poor guy. 187 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:24,043 Are they going to have to remove the... 188 00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:25,668 ...other testicle? 189 00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:27,251 And can they even do that? 190 00:08:27,251 --> 00:08:29,001 I thought you needed at least one to live. 191 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:31,043 What? No! That's kidneys, dumbo. 192 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,751 Where is he? 193 00:08:32,751 --> 00:08:34,501 He's in a hospital in Albany. 194 00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:36,501 Albany? Why is he in Albany? 195 00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:38,751 He flew in from Nairobi to meet with some non-profits 196 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,918 and he had an attack. 197 00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:42,543 They're gonna open him up tonight. 198 00:08:42,543 --> 00:08:44,126 Dean, you should drive out there. 199 00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:45,293 The poor guy's all alone. 200 00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:47,376 I can't go tonight. What about the baby shower? 201 00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:48,959 And Summerhayes is going to be here. 202 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:50,501 What? You're worried about your boss? 203 00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:51,793 Come on, he's just business. 204 00:08:51,793 --> 00:08:53,918 Ricky's been there for you guys your whole lives. 205 00:08:53,918 --> 00:08:56,209 Dude, just go. I've got Summerhayes covered. 206 00:08:56,209 --> 00:08:58,126 What? No, no, no, no. 207 00:08:58,126 --> 00:08:59,209 You should call him 208 00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:00,876 and tell him you have a family emergency. 209 00:09:00,876 --> 00:09:02,126 You should go with Dean. 210 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:04,543 Are you serious? Babe, we can't both bail on the boss. 211 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,001 Yes! Yes, you can. 212 00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,501 I mean, he'll probably be relieved 213 00:09:07,501 --> 00:09:09,418 that he doesn't have to go to a baby shower. 214 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:14,876 Well, looks like we're going to Albany. 215 00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:15,918 You were right, man - 216 00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:17,959 the Summerhayes thing totally put it over the top. 217 00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:19,626 The Devil's in the details, my friend. 218 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,084 What the hell took y'all so long? 219 00:09:21,084 --> 00:09:22,793 - The flight leaves in an hour. - Oh, sorry. 220 00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:24,001 We were doing all the work 221 00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:26,043 executing our brilliant last-minute plan. 222 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:27,251 Who made the Stanicky calls? 223 00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:29,209 Who cares who did what, Wes? The point is it worked. 224 00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:30,543 We got out of a baby shower, 225 00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:32,209 and we got tickets to Marc-fucking-Rebillet! 226 00:09:32,209 --> 00:09:33,209 - [grunts excitedly] - Whoo! 227 00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:35,293 - How'd you score those babies? - Yeah, this guy we work with 228 00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:36,709 broke one of his ankles last night. 229 00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:39,251 He fell out of a tree trying to get his kid's balloon. 230 00:09:39,251 --> 00:09:40,834 - Poor guy. - So we got his tickets. 231 00:09:40,834 --> 00:09:42,376 Goddamn, y'all so lucky, man! 232 00:09:42,376 --> 00:09:44,126 This kind of shit happens to you all the time. 233 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,293 Hey! Good things happen to good people. 234 00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:48,459 That's right. Atlantic City, here we come. 235 00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:49,668 Let's tear New Jersey a new armpit! 236 00:09:49,668 --> 00:09:50,668 Whoa! 237 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,959 [JT] It's not the same but it feels just as good. 238 00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:56,418 I mean, you just have to have sex on the side like a walrus. 239 00:09:57,043 --> 00:09:58,584 [Wes] Won't that dent the baby's head? 240 00:09:58,584 --> 00:10:01,418 I had a friend named Liam, and his head got all dick-dented. 241 00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:05,043 I think maybe his mother had a short vagina. 242 00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:06,959 [sighing] Just looking out for baby Whitaker. 243 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:08,376 So you still going with Whitaker, huh? 244 00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,168 We are! It's a family name. All right? 245 00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:11,584 - Oh, that's nice. - [JT] Yeah, thank you. 246 00:10:11,584 --> 00:10:13,293 You guys know the rules. 247 00:10:13,293 --> 00:10:15,084 Phones off, so we don't get tracked. 248 00:10:15,084 --> 00:10:16,251 - Mm-hm. - Yep. 249 00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:18,959 - All right. Wes. - I'm Wes. 250 00:10:18,959 --> 00:10:20,084 - Bible! - Ooh. 251 00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:22,418 [Wes] All right... 252 00:10:23,168 --> 00:10:24,668 What we got? 253 00:10:24,668 --> 00:10:26,501 - Ricky's cancer's back. - Oh, no. 254 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,584 [Dean] Emergency surgery in Albany. 255 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:32,043 [Wes] Oh, that's terrible. Emergency surgery... 256 00:10:32,043 --> 00:10:33,834 Hey, why does it have to be cancer? 257 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,334 Like, won't everybody get worried? 258 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,626 That mean I gotta do chemo again? 259 00:10:36,626 --> 00:10:39,918 Yeah, and that's going to take us right into the World Series. 260 00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:41,626 - Ahh. - Boom! 261 00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:45,418 All right, one final bit of business before we land. 262 00:10:45,418 --> 00:10:47,668 Stanicky phone. Let's get this Instagram out of the way. 263 00:10:47,668 --> 00:10:49,126 There we go. 264 00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:53,584 -"Life is precious." - It is. 265 00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,876 -"And so is friendship." - Hmm. 266 00:10:55,876 --> 00:10:58,543 "Thanks to my boys for being here for me." 267 00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:00,168 Good. 268 00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:02,126 All right, are we done? Is it get drunk time? 269 00:11:02,126 --> 00:11:04,043 - Yeah. - A toast! 270 00:11:04,043 --> 00:11:05,418 To Ricky Stanicky. 271 00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:07,126 [Wes and JT] To Ricky Stanicky. 272 00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:09,334 The best friend we never had. 273 00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:11,043 Yoo! 274 00:11:11,043 --> 00:11:14,293 ["Your New Morning Alarm" by Marc Rebillet plays] 275 00:11:14,293 --> 00:11:16,918 [crowd cheering] 276 00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:18,543 ♪ Get the fuck out of bed Bitch, go! ♪ 277 00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:22,668 - [crowd cheering] - [loud techno music blares] 278 00:11:22,668 --> 00:11:24,793 ♪ Get up, get up! You gotta go, gah! ♪ 279 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,959 ♪ Wake up, time to wake up Bitch, get up! ♪ 280 00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:33,209 - [explosions] - [crowd cheering] 281 00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:42,584 [loud techno music blares] 282 00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:51,001 [crowd cheering and whooping] 283 00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:53,918 - [music ends] - [Dean] Woo-hoo-hoo! 284 00:11:53,918 --> 00:11:56,376 God, that was good! That was amazing! 285 00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:59,168 - Thank you, Ricky Stanicky. - The fucking Loop Daddy! 286 00:11:59,168 --> 00:12:00,334 Unbelievable, dude. 287 00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:02,543 It makes all that guilt I'm feeling totally worthwhile. 288 00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:04,418 Why do we even have to feel guilt? 289 00:12:04,418 --> 00:12:05,668 We could have just told them. 290 00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:07,418 You know, and cut out that whole angst part. 291 00:12:07,418 --> 00:12:09,168 No, because the Rebillet tickets 292 00:12:09,168 --> 00:12:10,793 fell into our lap this morning, 293 00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:12,918 and the girls have had the baby shower planned for weeks. 294 00:12:12,918 --> 00:12:14,501 Yeah. Yeah, but they're strong women. 295 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,168 I'm sure they would've gotten over 296 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:17,668 us skipping one little party. 297 00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:21,001 It's not one little party. It's my baby shower. 298 00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:23,834 [Wes] Oh, a Jack and Coke. 299 00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:25,959 I'll have a Dos Equis, please. Hoo! 300 00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,959 Do you have, uh... do you have organic vodka? 301 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,793 Just any vodka, it's all... 302 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,293 - Anything. - Thank you. 303 00:12:34,793 --> 00:12:36,834 Speaking of vodka, I'll take a Belvedere, neat, 304 00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:38,418 and a plate of your crispiest calamari. 305 00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:40,626 No, no, Rod. No! Bad! 306 00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,251 You keep freeloading off the customers 307 00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:43,376 and you're out of here. 308 00:12:43,376 --> 00:12:45,168 [chuckling] He loves giving me the business. 309 00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:47,376 Just to be clear, I'm anything but a freeloader. 310 00:12:47,376 --> 00:12:49,459 Just going to give you guys a little 'squid pro quo' 311 00:12:49,459 --> 00:12:50,959 for the calamari. 312 00:12:50,959 --> 00:12:52,668 Really? Meaning? 313 00:12:52,668 --> 00:12:54,626 Oh, I do a midnight show at the Slot Swamp Casino. 314 00:12:54,626 --> 00:12:56,918 I'll get you guys in, half price. 315 00:12:56,918 --> 00:12:59,209 - What kind of show? - Ah. Check this out. 316 00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:01,918 Boom! 317 00:13:01,918 --> 00:13:03,709 Oh, shit! Yo! 318 00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:05,126 "Rock Hard Rod - 319 00:13:05,126 --> 00:13:08,376 "South Jersey's premier X-rated rock'n'roll impersonator". 320 00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,668 That's not as crazy as it sounds. 321 00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:14,293 I mean, most of the songs are just about masturbation, 322 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,626 and we all do that, right? 323 00:13:16,168 --> 00:13:17,376 [chuckling] Yeah! 324 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:19,793 Actually, Rod, I don't think we'll be able to make the show, 325 00:13:19,793 --> 00:13:20,959 but we'll buy you a drink 326 00:13:20,959 --> 00:13:22,376 if you put your jerk-off hand down. 327 00:13:22,376 --> 00:13:24,001 You drive a hard bargain, sir. 328 00:13:24,001 --> 00:13:27,543 So, you do a bunch of jerk-off songs to make a living? 329 00:13:27,543 --> 00:13:28,876 [Rod] Yeah, I do a whole act. 330 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,959 Wall-to-wall, top-to-bottom jizz jams! 331 00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:33,043 You'll be surprised at how much material lends itself to it. 332 00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,293 I mean, 'Beat It', Michael Jackson. 333 00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:35,918 'Wind Beneath My Wings', Bette Midler. 334 00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:37,626 - Anything by The Strokes! - Mm. 335 00:13:37,626 --> 00:13:39,084 Yeah, and I'm the only one in the world 336 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:40,126 that's figured it out. 337 00:13:40,126 --> 00:13:43,293 Yeah, it's almost hard to believe. 338 00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:44,876 Oh, Barry, my dear friends here 339 00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:46,334 will buy me that drink after all. 340 00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,043 Oh, yeah, I also do impressions. 341 00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:50,126 You name it, I can do it. I'm a trained actor, you know. 342 00:13:50,126 --> 00:13:52,043 - I got a good one for you, Rod. - Yeah? 343 00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:54,043 Why don't you do the guy that gets the fuck out of here 344 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:55,626 before I call security? 345 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,459 No, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. 346 00:13:57,459 --> 00:13:58,584 I think we'd like to see this. 347 00:13:58,584 --> 00:14:00,168 And go ahead and bring him that drink. 348 00:14:00,168 --> 00:14:03,501 Ha! And the calamari, Bar-ry! 349 00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,668 [chuckling] Dickhead! Love that guy. 350 00:14:05,668 --> 00:14:07,376 So, who do you guys want me to do? 351 00:14:07,376 --> 00:14:09,959 You, er, I don't know, you like Owen Wilson? 352 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,001 - Sure. - We love Owen Wilson. 353 00:14:12,001 --> 00:14:14,293 - Yeah, that's fine. - I would love some Owen Wilson. 354 00:14:17,293 --> 00:14:19,084 [mimics Owen Wilson's voice] Wow! 355 00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,959 Where in the history of our relationship 356 00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:23,001 did you think I couldn't do an impersonation 357 00:14:23,001 --> 00:14:25,043 of somebody as adorable as The Big O? 358 00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:27,876 That is an excellent Owen Wilson. That's a good Owen. 359 00:14:27,876 --> 00:14:29,001 - It's okay. - Wow. 360 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,959 - [JT] It's not that good. - Thank you. Oh, er... 361 00:14:30,959 --> 00:14:33,126 - I'm just... - [Wes] Calamari's here, man. 362 00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:35,709 [slurps noisily] 363 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,501 All right, an oldie but a goodie. 364 00:14:40,043 --> 00:14:42,418 [smoky woman's voice] Take a look at this tit, kid. 365 00:14:42,418 --> 00:14:44,209 Probably the last one you're ever going to see 366 00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:45,459 for the rest of your life. 367 00:14:45,959 --> 00:14:47,793 [little boy's voice] Don't drink no more, Momma. 368 00:14:47,793 --> 00:14:49,293 You're real mean when you drink stuff. 369 00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:51,543 [woman's voice] Quit your bitchin', ya sloppy punk. 370 00:14:51,543 --> 00:14:53,209 You wanna know how you was hatched? 371 00:14:53,209 --> 00:14:55,918 Your old man was basting my rump roast 372 00:14:55,918 --> 00:14:58,001 and some of it dribbled into my woolly burger. 373 00:14:58,001 --> 00:14:59,793 You know what that makes you? 374 00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:01,793 [laughs] A shit baby! 375 00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:03,793 That's right, you're nothing but shit, 376 00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:05,459 and you always will be! 377 00:15:06,043 --> 00:15:08,501 Is... is that from 'Downton Abbey'? 378 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,876 That was, er... 379 00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:14,418 just a little skit from my childhood. 380 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:20,709 [Dean] Er, yeah... 381 00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:22,876 I think it's time to hit the tables, boys. Huh? 382 00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:24,834 Right on. Where are we going? 383 00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:26,459 Copper Bonnet's the only place on the boardwalk 384 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,459 with 50-cent tables. 385 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,334 Not as many hookers, but they're friendlier - 386 00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:30,459 they don't get weirded out 387 00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:31,876 when you just wanna brush their hair. 388 00:15:31,876 --> 00:15:34,084 Yeah, Rod, I think we're just going to stay around here. 389 00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:36,584 Oh, here's great. I'm friends with the bartender, Barry. 390 00:15:38,043 --> 00:15:41,376 Hey, Hard-on Ronnie, we are doing our own thing. 391 00:15:41,376 --> 00:15:43,168 We got our thing going on, 392 00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:46,209 and we're probably just gonna... 393 00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,001 leave you. 394 00:15:52,543 --> 00:15:54,418 Okay, I can take a hint. 395 00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:56,418 You guys look at me 396 00:15:56,418 --> 00:15:58,376 and you just see another scumbag impersonator, right? 397 00:15:58,376 --> 00:16:01,126 Thanks for understanding, man. You're a good dude. 398 00:16:05,376 --> 00:16:07,834 - What the hell, man? - What? 399 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,709 You didn't have to be so mean about it. 400 00:16:10,459 --> 00:16:12,376 What? I wasn't... What did I do? 401 00:16:13,251 --> 00:16:14,751 What? Was I being an asshole? 402 00:16:14,751 --> 00:16:16,834 Well, you called him 'Hard-on Ronnie'. 403 00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,709 It's 'Rock Hard Rod'. 404 00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:20,668 Ohh, right, I'm so sorry. 405 00:16:20,668 --> 00:16:22,209 I didn't know Weird Al Wankovic 406 00:16:22,209 --> 00:16:23,876 would be so sensitive. 407 00:16:25,293 --> 00:16:27,126 Rod! Hey, Rod! 408 00:16:27,959 --> 00:16:28,959 These are mine. 409 00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:31,626 I just wanted to say sorry for what happened back there. 410 00:16:31,626 --> 00:16:33,043 My friends... 411 00:16:33,043 --> 00:16:35,543 they just want it to be some kind of reunion, just us, 412 00:16:35,543 --> 00:16:37,168 but that wasn't cool, so... 413 00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:40,793 Whatever, I get it. Happens all the time. 414 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,501 You guys come in to AC 415 00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:46,168 with your Toyota Avalons and your anesthesiologist money. 416 00:16:46,168 --> 00:16:48,043 Strutting around like a bunch of big shots. 417 00:16:48,043 --> 00:16:49,459 Let me tell you something. 418 00:16:49,459 --> 00:16:50,959 We lost Joan Rivers and Michael Jackson 419 00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:52,334 because of you fuckers, okay? 420 00:16:52,334 --> 00:16:54,543 None of us are anesthesiologists. 421 00:16:55,543 --> 00:16:57,043 Not here for the convention? 422 00:16:57,043 --> 00:16:58,251 No. 423 00:16:59,876 --> 00:17:01,543 Hey, I get it, man. 424 00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:04,084 You look at me and see another asshole sideshow freak, right? 425 00:17:04,084 --> 00:17:05,751 - Not at all. - I'm more than that. 426 00:17:05,751 --> 00:17:07,709 I'm a damn good actor. 427 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,751 You'll see. 428 00:17:10,543 --> 00:17:11,543 Shit! 429 00:17:18,626 --> 00:17:20,126 Who are they? 430 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,751 Crazy fans I was trying to avoid. 431 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:25,251 Anyway, I gotta run. Hey, take my card. 432 00:17:27,126 --> 00:17:28,209 Remember that name. 433 00:17:28,209 --> 00:17:30,168 I promise it's going to mean something to you some day. 434 00:17:30,168 --> 00:17:32,084 I would not be surprised. 435 00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:35,334 [slurps noisily] 436 00:17:42,168 --> 00:17:43,918 Oh! Jeez. 437 00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:51,918 [cell phone pinging] 438 00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:02,959 Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! 439 00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:04,209 [JT laughs] 440 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,001 - Give me my money right now! - JT! JT! 441 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,251 Not now, Dean. I'm on fire! 442 00:18:08,251 --> 00:18:10,459 And for once I'm going to leave Atlantic City a winner! 443 00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:12,043 Susan's in labor. 444 00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:15,334 [dramatic music] 445 00:18:16,418 --> 00:18:18,543 This was a bad idea. I knew this was a bad idea. 446 00:18:18,543 --> 00:18:19,751 Don't friggin' do that, man. 447 00:18:19,751 --> 00:18:21,793 You're 'Monday morning quarterbacking' right now. 448 00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:23,876 Who could've figured she'd go into labor six weeks early? 449 00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:27,168 Six weeks! My baby's going to be born six weeks early. 450 00:18:27,168 --> 00:18:29,334 - Is he going to be okay? - The baby's going to fine. 451 00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:31,543 Babies are born six weeks early all the time. 452 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:33,251 I was born six weeks early. 453 00:18:33,251 --> 00:18:35,293 Oh, shit! Go, go, go! Go! 454 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,751 Susan Levine. What room is she in? 455 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,459 - Levine? - Yeah, Levine. 456 00:18:50,001 --> 00:18:53,126 Ah, here we are. She and the baby are in 208. 457 00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:55,751 She had the baby?! 458 00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:57,584 [JT] Oh, baby Whitaker. 459 00:18:58,084 --> 00:18:59,959 This was not the birth plan I had for you. 460 00:19:00,584 --> 00:19:02,668 I wanted you born on the shores of Goosewing Beach. 461 00:19:02,668 --> 00:19:04,376 You know what my birth plan was? 462 00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:06,334 For you to actually be here. 463 00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,251 Why isn't he wearing a shirt? 464 00:19:08,251 --> 00:19:10,709 I'm having skin-to-skin contact with my son, Leona. 465 00:19:10,709 --> 00:19:13,168 It's a proven way of regulating a newborn baby's temperature, 466 00:19:13,168 --> 00:19:14,668 and it calms him, thank you. 467 00:19:14,668 --> 00:19:16,209 Don't blankets do that? 468 00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:19,543 Oh, he is such a little peanut. 469 00:19:19,543 --> 00:19:22,126 We should call him Shrimpy, he's such a little peanut. 470 00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:25,126 Please don't call my grandson 'Shrimpy'. 471 00:19:25,126 --> 00:19:27,376 Shrimps are the cockroaches of the sea. 472 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,626 6lbs is pretty good for a month and a half early, right, Mom? 473 00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:32,751 Oh, he's perfect. He's perfect. 474 00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:35,501 I want to know where the hell you guys were tonight. 475 00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:37,668 We called every hospital in Albany 476 00:19:37,668 --> 00:19:40,251 and there was no record of a Ricky Stanicky. 477 00:19:40,251 --> 00:19:41,876 Yeah, and the last thing you tell me 478 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:44,209 is you got to go see him because he's got... 479 00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:45,668 What kind of cancer? 480 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,459 Er... anal. 481 00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:50,668 I thought it was testicular. 482 00:19:50,668 --> 00:19:54,209 It was testicular, but then it spread to his anus. 483 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:56,959 Yeah, they had to remove it. 484 00:19:56,959 --> 00:19:58,251 They removed his asshole? 485 00:19:59,376 --> 00:20:02,501 Er... just the outer lip part. 486 00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:05,334 Outer lip part? What is he, a fucking baboon? 487 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,418 Come on, Wes. What's going on here? 488 00:20:07,418 --> 00:20:09,001 Where were you? 489 00:20:12,793 --> 00:20:14,543 Okay. 490 00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:17,876 It was a lie. 491 00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:21,084 It's all been a lie. 492 00:20:21,626 --> 00:20:23,251 What's a lie? 493 00:20:24,043 --> 00:20:26,251 The whole Ricky Stanicky thing. 494 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,376 It was, uh... 495 00:20:29,376 --> 00:20:30,543 It's bullshit. 496 00:20:30,543 --> 00:20:32,543 JT, what's he talking about? 497 00:20:32,543 --> 00:20:34,251 Yeah, Dean, what is he talking about? 498 00:20:35,876 --> 00:20:37,834 He's saying... 499 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:40,334 Ricky Stanicky lied to us. 500 00:20:40,334 --> 00:20:42,751 Okay? There was no cancer. 501 00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:45,043 When we got to the hospital, Ricky was standing out front 502 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,751 with a bottle of champagne and a limo. 503 00:20:46,751 --> 00:20:48,793 Turns out that it was his five-year anniversary 504 00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:50,584 being cancer free. 505 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,668 So he pretended to have cancer 506 00:20:53,668 --> 00:20:56,418 just so he could celebrate not having cancer? 507 00:20:56,418 --> 00:20:58,334 I... Yeah. 508 00:20:58,334 --> 00:20:59,459 It's typical Rick. 509 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,418 You know, he's got such a weird sense of humour. 510 00:21:01,418 --> 00:21:03,001 - [Dean] He does, yep. - [Erin] Okay... 511 00:21:03,001 --> 00:21:05,543 He was in Albany meeting with the Give Green Foundation, 512 00:21:05,543 --> 00:21:07,751 and I guess he just wanted to celebrate with us. 513 00:21:07,751 --> 00:21:09,251 So he pranked us. 514 00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:11,834 The Give Green Foundation? 515 00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:14,459 Yeah. You've heard of them, Leona. They're wonderful. 516 00:21:14,459 --> 00:21:18,043 Wait, why didn't you call us and tell us that he was okay? 517 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,834 And why was your phone off all night? 518 00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:21,376 Oh, baby, it was a whirlwind. 519 00:21:21,376 --> 00:21:22,959 Ricky took us to a stand-up comedy show 520 00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:24,626 and they didn't allow cell phones, so... 521 00:21:25,168 --> 00:21:27,251 And after that, the night turned into a blur. 522 00:21:27,251 --> 00:21:29,501 You know I wanted to be here for you for this. 523 00:21:29,501 --> 00:21:31,043 I wanted this more than you did. 524 00:21:31,876 --> 00:21:33,251 Oh, get that baby off that thing 525 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,376 and give him to his mother. 526 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,959 Oh, that is disgusting! 527 00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:39,251 No. It's dangerous to detach. Let him suck it out. 528 00:21:40,293 --> 00:21:42,293 [whispers] Yeah. Good boy. 529 00:21:42,293 --> 00:21:44,043 This hippie-dippy crap. 530 00:21:44,043 --> 00:21:46,043 Well, I'm certainly going to give Ricky an earful 531 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:48,126 when I see him at the bris next week. 532 00:21:48,126 --> 00:21:49,459 What's a bris? 533 00:21:49,459 --> 00:21:51,084 It's the circumcision ceremony. 534 00:21:51,084 --> 00:21:54,084 Oh! It sounds like a soup. 535 00:21:54,084 --> 00:21:56,501 You know, I doubt he's going to be able to be there, sadly. 536 00:21:56,501 --> 00:21:57,584 Why not? 537 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,168 He has work in Nairobi. 538 00:22:00,168 --> 00:22:01,501 No, he doesn't. 539 00:22:01,501 --> 00:22:03,251 Wes is helping him out with some fundraiser 540 00:22:03,251 --> 00:22:04,793 in Providence on Saturday night. 541 00:22:04,793 --> 00:22:06,376 [Wes clearing throat] 542 00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:08,668 I remember telling... [voice breaks] I told you. 543 00:22:09,751 --> 00:22:10,876 Yeah. 544 00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:14,876 Great. Well, the bris is on Sunday, so he can make it. 545 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:18,209 Yeah, maybe. Unless he's got to fly out early on Sunday. 546 00:22:18,209 --> 00:22:19,418 Well, that's ridiculous. 547 00:22:19,418 --> 00:22:20,959 Come on, if he's in town on Saturday, 548 00:22:20,959 --> 00:22:23,251 why wouldn't he spend an extra day to meet baby Whitaker? 549 00:22:23,251 --> 00:22:25,376 Yeah, why wouldn't he? 550 00:22:26,251 --> 00:22:29,501 You're absolutely right. He should stay an extra day. 551 00:22:29,501 --> 00:22:31,459 In fact, I'm going to make sure of it. 552 00:22:32,126 --> 00:22:33,459 [JT] What the fuck, Dean? 553 00:22:33,459 --> 00:22:34,918 What did you want me to say, man? 554 00:22:34,918 --> 00:22:36,293 They were all staring at me. 555 00:22:36,293 --> 00:22:38,959 I look at you. You've got baby Whitaker nursing on you. 556 00:22:38,959 --> 00:22:40,459 Horrible name, by the way. 557 00:22:40,459 --> 00:22:42,293 - I just-- - You panicked. 558 00:22:42,293 --> 00:22:43,543 I panicked?! 559 00:22:44,209 --> 00:22:46,543 What are you talk...?! You're the one who almost outed us! 560 00:22:46,543 --> 00:22:47,876 And you made plans with Stanicky! 561 00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:50,084 Ricky Stanicky is not a one-man show. You know that! 562 00:22:50,084 --> 00:22:51,584 It's a fragile fabric, man. 563 00:22:51,584 --> 00:22:54,168 Ricky Stanicky is only to be used as a three-man team. 564 00:22:54,168 --> 00:22:55,168 Huh. 565 00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,834 So, what about the golf rounds with Ricky 566 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,293 that JT charged to your company? 567 00:22:58,293 --> 00:22:59,501 - You weren't there. - What? 568 00:22:59,501 --> 00:23:01,043 I charged the rounds of golf 569 00:23:01,043 --> 00:23:02,626 because you didn't have any money. 570 00:23:02,626 --> 00:23:05,668 Seriously, Wes. What happened in there, man? 571 00:23:06,543 --> 00:23:07,834 Look. 572 00:23:07,834 --> 00:23:10,293 Keith's been on my ass about finding a job, 573 00:23:10,293 --> 00:23:12,543 and sleeping all day... 574 00:23:12,543 --> 00:23:14,793 and pumicing my foot-skin over the sink. 575 00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,876 What the fuck does this have to do with Stanicky? 576 00:23:16,876 --> 00:23:18,709 I needed a break! 577 00:23:18,709 --> 00:23:20,543 Keith can be very oppressive. 578 00:23:20,543 --> 00:23:22,168 Sometimes I feel like I'm living 579 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:23,584 in a gay 'Handmaid's Tale'. 580 00:23:24,376 --> 00:23:29,209 So I went to a pot farm, where they make cannabis milk. 581 00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,209 You played the Stanicky card to get pot milk? 582 00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:33,126 You never had milk like this before. 583 00:23:33,126 --> 00:23:34,501 - No, I haven't. - It's delicious. 584 00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:35,584 I hope! 585 00:23:35,584 --> 00:23:37,709 They must feed these lucky cows weed all day, 586 00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,668 because when they milk 'em - boom! 587 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,334 [high-pitched] Dream cream! 588 00:23:41,334 --> 00:23:42,668 What did you just say? 589 00:23:42,668 --> 00:23:43,793 [high-pitched] Dream cream. 590 00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:45,626 Huh! 591 00:23:48,668 --> 00:23:51,459 We're fucked. We're majorly fucked. 592 00:23:51,459 --> 00:23:53,168 You know, we don't deserve this shit. 593 00:23:53,168 --> 00:23:54,584 All we did was tell one lie. 594 00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:57,126 Hundreds and hundreds of times over many, many years. 595 00:23:58,126 --> 00:23:59,376 Hey, maybe they'll forget 596 00:23:59,376 --> 00:24:01,584 that they invited Stanicky to the bris. 597 00:24:01,584 --> 00:24:03,709 They'll be so busy with the family and friends, 598 00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:04,793 and cutting of penises. 599 00:24:04,793 --> 00:24:06,709 They're not going to forget they invited him, Wes. 600 00:24:07,834 --> 00:24:09,459 I got it. My boy Jonesy. 601 00:24:09,459 --> 00:24:11,251 He works for one of those online obituaries. 602 00:24:11,251 --> 00:24:13,126 We could kill Stanicky off. 603 00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:14,959 I like that. Let's kill his ass. 604 00:24:14,959 --> 00:24:16,459 Put your hands down, shit nuts. 605 00:24:16,459 --> 00:24:19,959 Obituaries give details. Friends, family, cemeteries. 606 00:24:19,959 --> 00:24:22,209 Plus then everyone's going to want to go to the funeral. 607 00:24:22,209 --> 00:24:25,418 Okay, Dean, your negativity is not helping. 608 00:24:27,501 --> 00:24:32,293 Or, uh, we could go do my original plan... 609 00:24:33,209 --> 00:24:34,793 ... and tell everybody the truth. 610 00:24:34,793 --> 00:24:37,001 Shut your mouth. Shut your stupid mouth. 611 00:24:37,001 --> 00:24:38,334 We're not telling the truth. 612 00:24:38,334 --> 00:24:39,959 There'll be no truth told, okay? 613 00:24:39,959 --> 00:24:41,751 We're going to do the right thing here. 614 00:24:41,751 --> 00:24:43,334 Some would argue that telling the truth 615 00:24:43,334 --> 00:24:44,543 is the right thing to do. 616 00:24:44,543 --> 00:24:45,709 Yeah - assholes! 617 00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:48,168 Let me remind you guys of what the truth is, dream cream. 618 00:24:48,168 --> 00:24:49,626 Last night, when I was in New Jersey 619 00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:51,793 secretly partying my face off at the Marc Rebillet concert, 620 00:24:51,793 --> 00:24:53,209 my wife was giving birth to my son. 621 00:24:53,209 --> 00:24:54,334 Alone! Okay? 622 00:24:54,334 --> 00:24:56,418 And if the truth does come out, my marriage is over. 623 00:24:56,418 --> 00:24:58,459 And later, if my son finds out, that's over too. 624 00:24:58,459 --> 00:24:59,626 Is that what you want, Wes? 625 00:24:59,626 --> 00:25:02,793 You want to destroy an entire family, huh? Huh? 626 00:25:04,084 --> 00:25:06,334 - Huh? - Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. 627 00:25:06,334 --> 00:25:10,501 What if we hire an actor to play Stanicky? 628 00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:12,626 We give him the whole run-down. 629 00:25:12,626 --> 00:25:14,293 Tell him everything he needs to know. 630 00:25:15,793 --> 00:25:17,376 Okay, okay, I like this. Keep going. 631 00:25:17,376 --> 00:25:20,001 We could give him the bible, right? 632 00:25:20,001 --> 00:25:22,459 He studies it for a few days, 633 00:25:22,459 --> 00:25:24,751 and then he comes to the bris for a couple of hours 634 00:25:24,751 --> 00:25:27,293 and he plays Ricky Stanicky. 635 00:25:28,709 --> 00:25:31,418 Okay, but where are we going to find an actor? 636 00:25:32,043 --> 00:25:34,584 Gary Polisner! He's in that Red Robin commercial. 637 00:25:34,584 --> 00:25:36,543 - He is? - Yeah. 638 00:25:36,543 --> 00:25:38,793 He's that dude that goes, "Seconds on steak fries? 639 00:25:38,793 --> 00:25:40,043 "Uh, yeah!" 640 00:25:40,043 --> 00:25:41,251 - That's Gary? - That's Gary. 641 00:25:41,251 --> 00:25:42,834 - Good for him! - Good for him. 642 00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:44,126 I love those commercials. 643 00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:45,626 Guys, minor wrinkle - 644 00:25:45,626 --> 00:25:48,209 Gary's dating Carly, Erin's cousin. 645 00:25:48,209 --> 00:25:49,418 Oh, Cousin It? 646 00:25:49,418 --> 00:25:51,293 That girl with the hair that touches the floor? 647 00:25:51,293 --> 00:25:53,126 Yeah, but don't worry. 648 00:25:53,793 --> 00:25:56,293 I know an actor that nobody knows. 649 00:25:56,793 --> 00:25:59,584 [upbeat music] 650 00:25:59,584 --> 00:26:02,918 ["Whip It" by Devo plays] 651 00:26:04,126 --> 00:26:05,793 [whip cracking] 652 00:26:06,918 --> 00:26:08,834 ♪ Grab that stick ♪ 653 00:26:09,918 --> 00:26:11,959 ♪ Lube your hand with spit ♪ 654 00:26:12,959 --> 00:26:15,043 ♪ Lay down on your back ♪ 655 00:26:16,168 --> 00:26:18,168 ♪ Now it's time to whack ♪ 656 00:26:20,501 --> 00:26:23,418 ♪ When a boner comes along You must grip it ♪ 657 00:26:23,418 --> 00:26:25,293 ♪ To make the cream Come out your dong ♪ 658 00:26:25,293 --> 00:26:26,543 ♪ Just unzip it... ♪ 659 00:26:26,543 --> 00:26:31,668 [to tune of "School's Out"] ♪ Spoooge out my penis ♪ 660 00:26:33,584 --> 00:26:39,751 ♪ Spoooge on my tummy... ♪ 661 00:26:40,543 --> 00:26:43,251 [to tune of "White Wedding"] ♪ It's a nice day for some ♪ 662 00:26:43,251 --> 00:26:45,334 ♪ Wood whackin' ♪ 663 00:26:47,334 --> 00:26:50,126 ♪ It's a nice day to ♪ 664 00:26:50,126 --> 00:26:54,418 ♪ Jizz again... ♪ 665 00:26:55,168 --> 00:26:59,168 ["Baby, I Love Your Way" plays] 666 00:27:01,501 --> 00:27:05,001 ♪ Ooh, baby, I masturbate ♪ 667 00:27:05,001 --> 00:27:06,501 ♪ Every day ♪ 668 00:27:08,501 --> 00:27:13,043 ♪ I want to tell you I masturbate every way ♪ 669 00:27:15,126 --> 00:27:18,501 ♪ Want to beat my meat Night and day ♪ 670 00:27:18,501 --> 00:27:20,293 ♪ Ay, yeah... ♪ 671 00:27:21,168 --> 00:27:23,251 Thanks for coming out tonight, ladies and gentlemen. 672 00:27:23,251 --> 00:27:26,376 So horny to be here. So horny to be here. 673 00:27:26,376 --> 00:27:30,376 ["Baby, I love your way" outro plays] 674 00:27:31,626 --> 00:27:32,834 Great show, Rod. 675 00:27:32,834 --> 00:27:34,584 Good crowd. 676 00:27:38,918 --> 00:27:42,126 Hey, Rod. Those guys are out there again. 677 00:27:53,209 --> 00:27:56,251 [dramatic music] 678 00:27:56,251 --> 00:27:58,126 [man] Hey, we need more beer mugs. 679 00:27:58,126 --> 00:27:59,376 [cutlery clanking] 680 00:28:04,001 --> 00:28:07,376 [grunting] 681 00:28:10,168 --> 00:28:11,293 [bottle shattering] 682 00:28:16,209 --> 00:28:20,626 ["Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" ringtone plays] 683 00:28:25,584 --> 00:28:28,584 Rod Rimestead, trained actor. How can I help you? 684 00:28:29,668 --> 00:28:31,251 Yeah, Dean, I remember you. 685 00:28:32,918 --> 00:28:34,209 A gig? 686 00:28:35,168 --> 00:28:37,543 Let me... Er, you know what? Let me just check my schedule. 687 00:28:43,459 --> 00:28:45,709 Yeah, man. Looks like I'm free. 688 00:28:46,334 --> 00:28:48,334 And so our feathered friend 689 00:28:48,334 --> 00:28:50,376 still has not gotten off the golf ball 690 00:28:50,376 --> 00:28:53,168 that Dr. Dominic DiPasquale of East Greenwich 691 00:28:53,168 --> 00:28:56,626 hit near this greenside bunker six days ago. 692 00:28:56,626 --> 00:28:58,751 But you can count on Channel 6 to be here 693 00:28:58,751 --> 00:29:00,918 until this exciting saga ends. 694 00:29:00,918 --> 00:29:05,418 Or, you can go to Channel6.com and log onto our live duck-cam. 695 00:29:05,418 --> 00:29:06,501 [dog barks] 696 00:29:09,084 --> 00:29:11,043 Can you believe I spent three years 697 00:29:11,043 --> 00:29:13,209 in journalism grad school for this crap? 698 00:29:13,209 --> 00:29:15,334 Are you kidding? I love this story. It's fun. 699 00:29:15,334 --> 00:29:16,834 Don't patronize me. 700 00:29:16,834 --> 00:29:19,209 Okay. It sucks. I'm embarrassed for you. 701 00:29:19,209 --> 00:29:20,709 Thank you. 702 00:29:20,709 --> 00:29:23,501 You're really sweet to hang out with me, though, honestly. 703 00:29:23,501 --> 00:29:24,834 - Are you kidding? - Thank you. 704 00:29:24,834 --> 00:29:26,834 Who else gets the chance to watch history unfold? 705 00:29:26,834 --> 00:29:28,126 [chuckles] 706 00:29:28,126 --> 00:29:29,251 Oh, wait. 707 00:29:29,251 --> 00:29:32,001 You know who's looking forward to meeting Ricky tomorrow? 708 00:29:32,001 --> 00:29:33,793 Yeah, Leona. I know. 709 00:29:33,793 --> 00:29:35,793 Uh-uh. Carly. 710 00:29:36,293 --> 00:29:37,459 Carly with the hair? 711 00:29:37,459 --> 00:29:39,334 Mm-hm, my cousin, yeah. 712 00:29:39,334 --> 00:29:40,834 What happened to Gary Polisner? 713 00:29:40,834 --> 00:29:42,959 Oh, you know, they're together, 714 00:29:42,959 --> 00:29:45,459 but she follows Ricky on Instagram. 715 00:29:45,459 --> 00:29:48,376 - Loves his charity work. - Hmm. 716 00:29:48,376 --> 00:29:50,668 That duck's not going anywhere. 717 00:29:51,501 --> 00:29:53,709 Let's go get some lunch. Come back in an hour. 718 00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:56,418 I would, but I can't. I'm on duck duty for four more hours. 719 00:29:56,418 --> 00:29:58,709 Unless she gets up, I'm stuck here. 720 00:30:00,626 --> 00:30:01,918 Unless she gets up, huh. 721 00:30:01,918 --> 00:30:03,168 [dog whimpering] 722 00:30:03,876 --> 00:30:05,293 No! Paul! 723 00:30:05,293 --> 00:30:06,459 [dog barking] 724 00:30:06,459 --> 00:30:08,084 Paul! Paul, come back here. 725 00:30:08,084 --> 00:30:09,334 [barking] 726 00:30:09,834 --> 00:30:10,918 [hissing] 727 00:30:12,709 --> 00:30:14,834 Hey, Paul. Paul, get back here. 728 00:30:16,001 --> 00:30:17,084 [dog whimpering] 729 00:30:17,084 --> 00:30:18,584 - Paul! - Oh, my God! 730 00:30:19,834 --> 00:30:21,251 [both] Paul! 731 00:30:21,251 --> 00:30:22,918 - [dog whimpering] - [duck quacking] 732 00:30:22,918 --> 00:30:24,126 [Erin] Oh, my God! 733 00:30:24,834 --> 00:30:26,334 [Erin] Come on! Paul! 734 00:30:28,543 --> 00:30:30,126 Paul! Get out of there! 735 00:30:30,126 --> 00:30:31,501 [Dean] Hold your breath, Paul! 736 00:30:31,501 --> 00:30:32,918 [Erin] Hang in there, buddy! 737 00:30:32,918 --> 00:30:34,043 - Bad duck! - Ow! 738 00:30:34,959 --> 00:30:38,293 Dean, do something! You have to pull him out of there. 739 00:30:40,668 --> 00:30:42,793 [dog whimpering] 740 00:30:43,459 --> 00:30:45,668 Let's take a rain check on the lunch, all right? 741 00:30:45,668 --> 00:30:46,876 Sorry. 742 00:30:48,876 --> 00:30:51,584 [duck quacking] 743 00:30:57,501 --> 00:30:59,293 Such an asshole! 744 00:31:03,959 --> 00:31:05,876 [Wes] I just want to go on the record and say 745 00:31:05,876 --> 00:31:08,376 this is a really bad idea. 746 00:31:08,376 --> 00:31:10,334 Why? He does impersonations of famous people. 747 00:31:10,334 --> 00:31:12,084 How hard could it be to impersonate someone 748 00:31:12,084 --> 00:31:13,751 - that no one's ever met before? - Yeah. 749 00:31:13,751 --> 00:31:16,001 We're going to be fine. This is going to be totally fine. 750 00:31:16,001 --> 00:31:17,543 - You gave him the bible, right? - [Dean] Yeah. 751 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,459 - Good. - And the Stanicky phone, 752 00:31:19,459 --> 00:31:21,043 everything on it, his Insta. 753 00:31:21,043 --> 00:31:23,376 I FaceTimed him. I took him through everything, man. 754 00:31:23,376 --> 00:31:25,084 For a sloppy drunk, he's a real pro 755 00:31:25,084 --> 00:31:26,834 - when it comes to this stuff. - Fine. 756 00:31:26,834 --> 00:31:30,084 [loud retching] 757 00:31:30,084 --> 00:31:32,126 Oh, Jesus. 758 00:31:32,793 --> 00:31:34,293 [Wes] Please don't be the trash bag, 759 00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:35,793 please don't be the trash bag... 760 00:31:35,793 --> 00:31:37,334 It's the trash bag. Oh. 761 00:31:39,001 --> 00:31:41,168 - Dude. - What the hell? 762 00:31:41,168 --> 00:31:42,959 - Hey, boys. - What are you on? 763 00:31:42,959 --> 00:31:44,376 Huh? 764 00:31:44,376 --> 00:31:46,418 Don't give me that shit. What drugs are you on? 765 00:31:46,418 --> 00:31:47,751 None. 766 00:31:47,751 --> 00:31:49,834 Don't lie to us. You're sweating like a tweaker. 767 00:31:49,834 --> 00:31:52,043 I'm sweating because I'm not on anything. 768 00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:54,376 I've been cold-turkeying the booze for three days. 769 00:31:54,376 --> 00:31:57,293 Smashes my world record by three days. 770 00:31:57,293 --> 00:31:59,793 What? You can't quit drinking right now, man. 771 00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,043 We need you in top form! 772 00:32:01,043 --> 00:32:04,418 I can't drink. Ricky Stanicky's in the program, remember? 773 00:32:04,418 --> 00:32:06,084 Right, yeah, yeah. 774 00:32:06,084 --> 00:32:08,251 Ricky's been clean and sober for the past seven years. 775 00:32:08,251 --> 00:32:10,584 [JT] Who cares?! People relapse all the time. 776 00:32:10,584 --> 00:32:12,751 - [Dean] Yeah. - [JT] What are you...? 777 00:32:12,751 --> 00:32:14,084 What are you doing? 778 00:32:14,084 --> 00:32:15,626 Wallet. Mouth. 779 00:32:15,626 --> 00:32:17,001 [JT] Oh, oh, oh! 780 00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:18,626 Yeah, I've seen this on 'Intervention'. 781 00:32:18,626 --> 00:32:19,918 He's having withdrawals. 782 00:32:19,918 --> 00:32:21,418 The leather will calm him down. 783 00:32:21,418 --> 00:32:23,834 - Relax. It's okay. - Yeah. 784 00:32:23,834 --> 00:32:24,876 [groaning] 785 00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:26,084 You okay? 786 00:32:26,793 --> 00:32:28,751 I had a couple of those in the plane - they pass. 787 00:32:29,751 --> 00:32:32,501 The nice fella I walked off the plane with, he helped me. 788 00:32:32,501 --> 00:32:33,876 What fella? 789 00:32:33,876 --> 00:32:36,793 He was just... he was just here. You didn't see him? 790 00:32:36,793 --> 00:32:39,001 Curly eyes. Long blonde lips. He talks with a limp. 791 00:32:39,001 --> 00:32:40,001 All right, uh, 792 00:32:40,001 --> 00:32:41,751 how about we just take a little whiff of vodka, 793 00:32:41,751 --> 00:32:43,251 you know, just to take the edge off? 794 00:32:43,251 --> 00:32:44,418 - Yeah. A little bit. - Yeah? 795 00:32:44,418 --> 00:32:46,793 No, you hired me to play the role of a sober gentleman. 796 00:32:46,793 --> 00:32:48,584 I'm going to do so the only way I know how - 797 00:32:48,584 --> 00:32:50,543 with artistic integrity. 798 00:32:50,543 --> 00:32:52,584 What is that? Is somebody boiling lobster? 799 00:32:53,793 --> 00:32:56,084 Boiling what? Oh, Rod. 800 00:32:56,751 --> 00:32:58,334 - Oh. - [Wes scoffs] 801 00:32:58,334 --> 00:33:01,001 It's not what you think it is. 802 00:33:01,001 --> 00:33:02,918 It's just piss. 803 00:33:02,918 --> 00:33:04,376 Oh, thank God. 804 00:33:07,876 --> 00:33:10,626 [Rod] I can't believe you guys picked me up in this thing. 805 00:33:10,626 --> 00:33:11,793 What? 806 00:33:11,793 --> 00:33:14,543 This gas-guzzling, carbon-emitting Earth-killer. 807 00:33:14,543 --> 00:33:16,334 If your people see me pull up in this thing, 808 00:33:16,334 --> 00:33:18,084 my cover is blown for sure. 809 00:33:18,084 --> 00:33:21,043 He's right again. Ricky Stanicky's a tree hugger. 810 00:33:21,043 --> 00:33:23,834 We helped him clean up the Chesapeake Bay, remember? 811 00:33:24,376 --> 00:33:26,293 The Pats/Ravens game. That was a good game. 812 00:33:26,293 --> 00:33:28,209 ["Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" ringtone plays] 813 00:33:28,209 --> 00:33:30,293 - [JT] Who's that? - Nobody. 814 00:33:30,293 --> 00:33:33,668 All right, who's the bank? I want all my cheese up front. 815 00:33:33,668 --> 00:33:37,209 SAG minimum - $983 a day, meal penalty after six hours. 816 00:33:37,209 --> 00:33:39,459 Dude, there is no way you're in the union. 817 00:33:39,459 --> 00:33:41,459 We'll give you half now and half when you're done. 818 00:33:41,459 --> 00:33:43,334 That's a no-bueno. I want all my cake up front. 819 00:33:43,334 --> 00:33:44,376 It's not negotiable. 820 00:33:44,376 --> 00:33:46,459 Okay, then, that's a bueno. 821 00:33:47,543 --> 00:33:50,043 [Dean] Guys, we can't take him to the bris smelling like this. 822 00:33:50,043 --> 00:33:51,751 Wes, can you please take Mr. Stanicky 823 00:33:51,751 --> 00:33:53,376 over to your place and shower him off 824 00:33:53,376 --> 00:33:55,126 and then bring him over to JT's? 825 00:33:55,126 --> 00:33:58,668 It's 'Ricky'. Mr. Stanicky is my fake father's name. 826 00:33:58,668 --> 00:34:02,334 Um, hey, I don't think that's going to be a good idea. 827 00:34:02,334 --> 00:34:04,251 My shower curtains, they're all mouldy and shit. 828 00:34:04,251 --> 00:34:05,376 Wes, stop being a douchebag. 829 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:07,293 Erin and I have to get there early and help set up. 830 00:34:07,293 --> 00:34:09,251 So we're going to be there way before you. Just... 831 00:34:09,251 --> 00:34:12,126 I don't know, do what you can, make him presentable, please. 832 00:34:12,126 --> 00:34:14,001 Presentable? How dare you. 833 00:34:14,001 --> 00:34:15,918 You guys are supposed to be my best friends. 834 00:34:15,918 --> 00:34:17,876 You should be fighting over who gets to hose me down. 835 00:34:17,876 --> 00:34:20,918 Hey, grand-mal piss-pants. Shut the fuck up, okay? 836 00:34:20,918 --> 00:34:22,334 We wouldn't be in this predicament 837 00:34:22,334 --> 00:34:24,793 if you didn't show up smelling like a nursing-home mattress. 838 00:34:26,751 --> 00:34:29,751 Wow. This is a hostile set. 839 00:34:41,543 --> 00:34:42,543 [sighing] 840 00:34:42,543 --> 00:34:43,959 Thanks for that, man. 841 00:34:43,959 --> 00:34:45,918 Starting to feel a little human again. 842 00:34:45,918 --> 00:34:47,584 Yeah. Hey, let me ask you something. 843 00:34:48,751 --> 00:34:50,293 You're a raging alcoholic, right? 844 00:34:50,293 --> 00:34:51,584 Yeah. 845 00:34:51,584 --> 00:34:53,543 Well, then how do you stay so ripped? 846 00:34:53,543 --> 00:34:56,209 - Roids. Shit-ton of roids. - Hmm. 847 00:34:56,209 --> 00:34:58,834 I got addicted to those too. 848 00:34:59,584 --> 00:35:01,251 God, they're good. 849 00:35:07,459 --> 00:35:09,209 Wow. Gay much? 850 00:35:09,209 --> 00:35:11,668 Yeah. I was really feeling it that day. 851 00:35:15,293 --> 00:35:17,293 Oh, so this is your, um... 852 00:35:17,293 --> 00:35:20,543 Partner, Keith. Mmm. 853 00:35:20,543 --> 00:35:21,834 Of course. 854 00:35:21,834 --> 00:35:25,168 By the way, I kind of told him that you were bi. 855 00:35:26,001 --> 00:35:27,168 What? Why? 856 00:35:27,168 --> 00:35:29,668 Because it'd be weird if you weren't... 857 00:35:29,668 --> 00:35:30,918 since we dated. 858 00:35:30,918 --> 00:35:33,459 We dated? You and me? Was that in the bible? 859 00:35:34,668 --> 00:35:36,584 - I missed that. - No, it's not in there. 860 00:35:36,584 --> 00:35:38,293 Why the hell wasn't it in the bible? 861 00:35:38,293 --> 00:35:40,876 Well, 'cause I couldn't tell the guys. All right? 862 00:35:40,876 --> 00:35:43,251 Look, look, I didn't know how things would go 863 00:35:43,251 --> 00:35:44,834 on my first date with Keith. 864 00:35:44,834 --> 00:35:47,334 So I told him I was seeing this dude named Ricky Stanicky, 865 00:35:47,334 --> 00:35:48,876 in case I needed an out. 866 00:35:48,876 --> 00:35:51,501 But we hit it off and I told him we broke up. 867 00:35:52,293 --> 00:35:53,459 Okay, no problem. 868 00:35:53,459 --> 00:35:57,876 Unfortunately, Keith's still a little threatened by you. 869 00:35:59,918 --> 00:36:02,876 Okay, spill the beans. I got to know everything. 870 00:36:02,876 --> 00:36:04,834 - What did you tell him we did? - What do you mean? 871 00:36:04,834 --> 00:36:07,251 Cut the crap. You know what I mean. 872 00:36:07,251 --> 00:36:09,209 Did we play Winnie the Pooh finds a honey stick? 873 00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:11,251 - What's that? - Munchkins in a cave? 874 00:36:11,251 --> 00:36:12,584 Upside-down barber? 875 00:36:12,584 --> 00:36:13,834 Shaved biscuits and gravy? 876 00:36:13,834 --> 00:36:14,959 - No. - Old faceful? 877 00:36:14,959 --> 00:36:17,751 No! We just went on a couple of dates. 878 00:36:18,918 --> 00:36:21,376 Oh. I guess I didn't do it for you. 879 00:36:22,251 --> 00:36:24,126 You're no trophy either, beagle ears. 880 00:36:26,959 --> 00:36:28,668 Hey, what's this? 881 00:36:28,668 --> 00:36:32,876 Oh, it's just this... this children's book thing 882 00:36:32,876 --> 00:36:35,251 that I've been tinkering with. 883 00:36:40,043 --> 00:36:43,376 Hey, there he is! Our mohel, Rabbi Greenberg. 884 00:36:43,376 --> 00:36:45,793 You can call me Rabbi Gigglebird. 885 00:36:45,793 --> 00:36:47,209 [laughter] 886 00:36:47,209 --> 00:36:48,709 The Rabbi does stand-up sometimes 887 00:36:48,709 --> 00:36:50,168 at the Comedy Connection. 888 00:36:50,168 --> 00:36:53,959 I may not be able to eat ham, but I can certainly be one! 889 00:36:53,959 --> 00:36:55,209 [forced laughter] 890 00:36:55,209 --> 00:36:56,668 Cheese puffs, anyone? 891 00:36:56,668 --> 00:37:00,043 Oh, no, we mohels, we prefer those little weenies. 892 00:37:00,043 --> 00:37:01,584 Ba-doomp-pow! 893 00:37:02,584 --> 00:37:04,334 Oh, no... [chuckles awkwardly] 894 00:37:04,334 --> 00:37:05,793 Listen. Listen. 895 00:37:05,793 --> 00:37:07,751 My services here today are complimentary, 896 00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:09,251 just so you know, all right? 897 00:37:09,251 --> 00:37:11,168 I consider this a mitzvah. All right? 898 00:37:11,168 --> 00:37:12,668 I don't want any money, 899 00:37:12,668 --> 00:37:15,043 but I'm keeping the tip! 900 00:37:15,043 --> 00:37:16,209 [laughs] 901 00:37:16,209 --> 00:37:18,709 - They just keep on coming, huh? - Yeah, they don't stop. 902 00:37:18,709 --> 00:37:20,418 - All right. - You're hungry, I bet. 903 00:37:20,418 --> 00:37:21,418 Always. 904 00:37:21,418 --> 00:37:23,876 Please. You got to fill up before you... Right? 905 00:37:23,876 --> 00:37:26,793 - Go. It's all you, baby. - Yeah, yeah. Go get it. Dig in. 906 00:37:26,793 --> 00:37:28,918 [Rabbi] Back off the vodka, lady. 907 00:37:29,959 --> 00:37:31,626 Oh, Jesus Christ. 908 00:37:32,209 --> 00:37:35,126 Can I get a gin and tonic? And let's make it a double. 909 00:37:35,126 --> 00:37:36,543 What the fuck is Summerhayes doing here? 910 00:37:36,543 --> 00:37:37,751 I invited him. 911 00:37:37,751 --> 00:37:40,001 - Oh, my God. - Babe, why would you do that? 912 00:37:40,001 --> 00:37:41,418 Because he's your boss. 913 00:37:41,418 --> 00:37:43,834 Yeah. I don't want to hang out with my boss. 914 00:37:43,834 --> 00:37:46,001 Why not? You invited him to the baby shower, shithead. 915 00:37:46,001 --> 00:37:49,043 That's different. This is a cock-cutting ceremony. 916 00:37:49,043 --> 00:37:50,209 I don't want him here. 917 00:37:50,209 --> 00:37:52,793 Jesus Christ, you're being weird. Just go say hi. 918 00:37:52,793 --> 00:37:54,334 Both of you. Go. 919 00:37:54,334 --> 00:37:56,543 Great. This is just great. 920 00:37:56,543 --> 00:37:58,501 Now if Stanicky shits the bed, we lose our jobs. 921 00:37:59,043 --> 00:38:01,334 God, where is he? He should be here by now. 922 00:38:01,834 --> 00:38:03,376 [Rod] Explain it again. 923 00:38:03,376 --> 00:38:05,834 It's a children's story about these seeds 924 00:38:05,834 --> 00:38:08,376 that are flying in the breeze, 925 00:38:08,376 --> 00:38:11,334 and all they want to do is reach the top of this mountain. 926 00:38:11,334 --> 00:38:15,209 But there's this one little seed who gets blown back 927 00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:17,251 to the bottom of the mountain, 928 00:38:17,251 --> 00:38:19,376 and she's all like, "Fuck!" 929 00:38:19,376 --> 00:38:22,793 But when it starts to rain, all the water will start 930 00:38:22,793 --> 00:38:26,918 to flow down the side of the mountain straight to her. 931 00:38:26,918 --> 00:38:29,543 So she'll sprout and she'll grow and grow 932 00:38:29,543 --> 00:38:30,959 to be the biggest tree of all, 933 00:38:30,959 --> 00:38:33,376 even bigger than the ones on top of the mountain. 934 00:38:33,376 --> 00:38:35,001 The message being, 935 00:38:35,001 --> 00:38:38,584 you can be great in life, no matter where you start. 936 00:38:40,959 --> 00:38:42,543 Hot, wet shit. 937 00:38:42,543 --> 00:38:44,251 What-what... what are you talking about? 938 00:38:44,251 --> 00:38:45,918 Come on, man, you're not a farmer. 939 00:38:45,918 --> 00:38:48,001 What the hell do you know about seeds, right? 940 00:38:48,001 --> 00:38:49,501 And the message is absurd. 941 00:38:49,501 --> 00:38:53,543 Poor kids turn into trees? It doesn't make any sense. 942 00:38:53,543 --> 00:38:54,626 - You're right. - Right? 943 00:38:54,626 --> 00:38:55,876 It is stupid. It's stupid! 944 00:38:55,876 --> 00:38:57,709 What the fuck was I thinking, man? Yeah. 945 00:38:57,709 --> 00:38:58,876 I should just give up. 946 00:38:58,876 --> 00:39:00,959 Whoa. No. That's not what I said. 947 00:39:00,959 --> 00:39:02,584 I said this is crap, 948 00:39:02,584 --> 00:39:04,334 because it's not authentic. 949 00:39:04,334 --> 00:39:06,126 Doesn't mean you gotta give up. 950 00:39:07,168 --> 00:39:08,918 Let me tell you a story, cowboy. 951 00:39:08,918 --> 00:39:10,334 A few years back, 952 00:39:10,334 --> 00:39:12,751 I had an X-rated dog show at the Showboat. 953 00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:15,668 I had these two mutts that could bang missionary style. 954 00:39:15,668 --> 00:39:18,001 Oh, yeah, you heard me right. Missionary! 955 00:39:18,001 --> 00:39:20,043 Face-to-face. Real deal. 956 00:39:20,043 --> 00:39:21,584 It was kind of touching, actually. 957 00:39:21,584 --> 00:39:23,043 Then Atlantic City gets all woke 958 00:39:23,043 --> 00:39:25,584 and they won't let 'em pump on stage anymore. 959 00:39:25,584 --> 00:39:28,376 I tried doing the show with two guys in dog suits, but... 960 00:39:28,376 --> 00:39:29,751 the magic just wasn't there. 961 00:39:29,751 --> 00:39:30,793 You know what I mean? 962 00:39:32,334 --> 00:39:34,501 - No. - My point is, I failed. 963 00:39:34,501 --> 00:39:36,418 But did I give up? Heck no. 964 00:39:36,418 --> 00:39:38,376 I just had to ask myself, what do I love? 965 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:39,376 And then it was easy - 966 00:39:39,376 --> 00:39:41,626 singing, performing and telling filthy jokes. 967 00:39:41,626 --> 00:39:44,584 And that is when Rock Hard Rod was born. 968 00:39:44,584 --> 00:39:47,709 You, sir, have just found out 969 00:39:47,709 --> 00:39:51,376 your dogs can no longer bang missionary style. 970 00:39:51,376 --> 00:39:54,376 Now you got to ask yourself, what do you love? 971 00:39:54,376 --> 00:39:56,251 - What do I love? - Yeah. 972 00:39:56,251 --> 00:39:57,834 Ah... [mumbles] 973 00:39:58,501 --> 00:40:00,834 Yeah, I... I like ceramic owls? 974 00:40:00,834 --> 00:40:03,459 Uh... I love fog. 975 00:40:03,459 --> 00:40:05,209 I love fog! I love it. 976 00:40:05,209 --> 00:40:07,418 Er, is there anything that you like 977 00:40:07,418 --> 00:40:10,959 that a regular human being can relate to on any level? 978 00:40:12,501 --> 00:40:14,293 - I like Christmas. - Christmas, Christmas! 979 00:40:14,293 --> 00:40:16,626 Perfect! Yes! Everybody loves Christmas. 980 00:40:16,626 --> 00:40:18,209 Yeah, well, not everybody. 981 00:40:18,209 --> 00:40:20,584 Keith is not a big fan of it these days. 982 00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:22,834 - He doesn't love Christmas? - Well, he used to love it. 983 00:40:22,834 --> 00:40:23,834 But, I mean, 984 00:40:23,834 --> 00:40:25,959 ever since his parents found out that we were dating, 985 00:40:25,959 --> 00:40:27,626 they haven't really invited him over. 986 00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:30,084 - That sucks. - Yeah. 987 00:40:30,084 --> 00:40:31,626 Which is their loss, you know. 988 00:40:31,626 --> 00:40:33,251 No "Jerky of the Month Club" for them. 989 00:40:33,251 --> 00:40:34,876 Ha. 990 00:40:34,876 --> 00:40:37,293 I just wish there was a holiday tradition for us. 991 00:40:37,293 --> 00:40:40,543 You know, like Christmas is the gayest holiday anyway, man. 992 00:40:40,543 --> 00:40:42,751 You know, you bedazzle a tree with tinsel. 993 00:40:43,459 --> 00:40:45,834 And why does Santa have to be such a fat shit? 994 00:40:45,834 --> 00:40:48,084 Couldn't he be ripped? Couldn't he be jacked? You know? 995 00:40:48,084 --> 00:40:49,918 Can the elves have ordered him a Peloton 996 00:40:49,918 --> 00:40:51,418 or a yoga mat or something? 997 00:40:52,626 --> 00:40:54,043 Ra-pum-pum-pum. 998 00:40:54,043 --> 00:40:56,126 Now that is authentic! 999 00:40:57,168 --> 00:40:59,751 Yeah. A Christmas story for us. 1000 00:41:02,293 --> 00:41:03,918 Thanks for coming, Ted. 1001 00:41:03,918 --> 00:41:06,543 I know a bris isn't exactly your cup of tea. 1002 00:41:06,543 --> 00:41:09,043 Oh, no, we're happy that you invited us, JT. 1003 00:41:09,043 --> 00:41:11,418 This is exactly what Ted needed. 1004 00:41:11,418 --> 00:41:14,751 He's been so obsessed with this World River merger. 1005 00:41:14,751 --> 00:41:16,251 Yeah. 1006 00:41:16,251 --> 00:41:19,376 Circumcision parties are my go-to when I need to relax. 1007 00:41:19,376 --> 00:41:21,126 [nervous chuckling] 1008 00:41:21,126 --> 00:41:22,793 Where's Gary? I thought he was coming. 1009 00:41:22,793 --> 00:41:24,293 He has his improv class at Trinity, 1010 00:41:24,293 --> 00:41:25,751 but I think he'll be here soon. 1011 00:41:25,751 --> 00:41:27,334 Have you guys seen his new commercial? 1012 00:41:27,334 --> 00:41:28,959 [Dean] Yeah. Yeah. 1013 00:41:28,959 --> 00:41:31,334 - He got off. - Who got off? 1014 00:41:31,334 --> 00:41:32,959 My big story I'm covering this week. 1015 00:41:32,959 --> 00:41:34,793 You're covering a trial? 1016 00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:36,584 No, real reporters get to do that. 1017 00:41:36,584 --> 00:41:38,876 I'm covering a vicious duck sitting on a golf ball 1018 00:41:38,876 --> 00:41:40,459 - at Wannamoisett Country Club. - Oh. 1019 00:41:40,459 --> 00:41:41,959 You're just paying your dues, right? 1020 00:41:42,459 --> 00:41:44,793 You're going to get a shot at the big story soon. 1021 00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:45,793 Thanks, babe. 1022 00:41:45,793 --> 00:41:47,376 He's not coming, is he? 1023 00:41:47,959 --> 00:41:50,584 - Who would you be referring to? - Oh, don't give me that. 1024 00:41:50,584 --> 00:41:53,126 Ricky Stanicky. Where the hell is he? 1025 00:41:53,126 --> 00:41:56,001 Oh, he'll be here. This is just typical Ricky. 1026 00:41:56,001 --> 00:41:57,584 He's... he's always late. 1027 00:41:57,584 --> 00:42:00,126 Hmm. Well, I'll believe it when I see it. 1028 00:42:00,126 --> 00:42:03,584 Leona, come on. Why wouldn't he come? 1029 00:42:03,584 --> 00:42:05,168 Probably for the same reason 1030 00:42:05,168 --> 00:42:08,751 that he didn't bother to show up for JT and Susan's wedding. 1031 00:42:08,751 --> 00:42:10,959 Sorry he didn't think my wedding was more important 1032 00:42:10,959 --> 00:42:13,376 than digging out hurricane victims in the Bahamas. 1033 00:42:13,376 --> 00:42:14,584 Ooh. 1034 00:42:14,584 --> 00:42:17,418 Ha, ha! The old Bahamian hurricane. 1035 00:42:17,418 --> 00:42:20,043 Jackie, tell me about Ricky Stanicky. 1036 00:42:20,043 --> 00:42:22,501 I mean, if they were such good friends, 1037 00:42:22,501 --> 00:42:25,293 you must have met him a bunch when they were kids, right? 1038 00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:28,834 Oh, sure. I... I met all of JT's friends. 1039 00:42:28,834 --> 00:42:30,126 Really? 1040 00:42:30,126 --> 00:42:33,043 Do you have any specific memories of him? 1041 00:42:33,584 --> 00:42:37,459 Well, I remember he was a handful, that's for sure. 1042 00:42:37,459 --> 00:42:39,626 I mean, every time this one got in trouble, 1043 00:42:39,626 --> 00:42:41,168 Stanicky was somehow behind it. 1044 00:42:41,168 --> 00:42:43,168 He was a... a little devil, that Ricky. 1045 00:42:43,168 --> 00:42:44,918 - Yeah. Oh, yeah. - Wow! 1046 00:42:44,918 --> 00:42:47,293 That doesn't sound like the same guy 1047 00:42:47,293 --> 00:42:52,459 who works for Bono in Africa and builds orphanages in Peru. 1048 00:42:53,751 --> 00:42:55,293 That's 'cause he's born again. 1049 00:42:55,293 --> 00:42:57,543 - Ah. - He had that epiphany in rehab. 1050 00:42:57,543 --> 00:42:59,168 Remember I told you about that? 1051 00:42:59,168 --> 00:43:01,251 - Mm-hm. - Yeah, people change, Leona. 1052 00:43:01,251 --> 00:43:03,293 Why are you grilling my mom? She's not on trial. 1053 00:43:03,293 --> 00:43:04,751 Because I want you to admit 1054 00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:07,084 that Ricky Stanicky does not exist. 1055 00:43:10,209 --> 00:43:12,918 Hey, mishpocha! 1056 00:43:12,918 --> 00:43:15,084 Let's get down to bris-ness! 1057 00:43:15,084 --> 00:43:16,709 [all exclaim] 1058 00:43:16,709 --> 00:43:18,834 Oh, yes! Yeah-ah! 1059 00:43:18,834 --> 00:43:20,251 [JT] You made it! 1060 00:43:20,876 --> 00:43:22,668 The boys are back! 1061 00:43:22,668 --> 00:43:25,001 [all exclaim] 1062 00:43:25,001 --> 00:43:27,043 - All right. - Jackie! 1063 00:43:27,043 --> 00:43:28,376 Ricky? 1064 00:43:28,376 --> 00:43:31,543 Oh, you look unbelievable. You're still a MILF. 1065 00:43:31,543 --> 00:43:33,334 [chuckling] Oh, my God. 1066 00:43:33,334 --> 00:43:36,293 Look at you. Oh, you haven't changed a bit. 1067 00:43:37,334 --> 00:43:39,001 The mystery man in the flesh. 1068 00:43:39,001 --> 00:43:41,501 Well, churn my butter with a slippery stick. 1069 00:43:41,501 --> 00:43:43,001 I finally get to meet Erin Harford. 1070 00:43:43,001 --> 00:43:44,668 You're even more beautiful in person 1071 00:43:44,668 --> 00:43:46,418 than the pictures Dean's always sending me. 1072 00:43:46,418 --> 00:43:47,793 You send him pictures of me? 1073 00:43:47,793 --> 00:43:49,334 Oh, tasteful, of course. 1074 00:43:49,334 --> 00:43:50,418 Even the nudes. 1075 00:43:50,418 --> 00:43:52,251 Seriously, the guy doesn't shut up about you. 1076 00:43:52,251 --> 00:43:54,209 What were you saying about her last week? 1077 00:43:54,209 --> 00:43:55,793 It was, um... 1078 00:43:55,793 --> 00:43:57,584 Ah! The more I look at her, 1079 00:43:57,584 --> 00:43:59,584 the more I realize how much there is to see. 1080 00:43:59,584 --> 00:44:01,834 - Aw. Babe. - And who do we have here? 1081 00:44:01,834 --> 00:44:04,376 Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! 1082 00:44:04,376 --> 00:44:06,543 [meekly] I'm Carly, I'm Erin's cousin. 1083 00:44:06,543 --> 00:44:08,168 No need to shout, bullhorn! 1084 00:44:08,168 --> 00:44:09,709 [light laughter] 1085 00:44:09,709 --> 00:44:12,876 And I am the woman who had to give birth all alone 1086 00:44:12,876 --> 00:44:15,293 because you tricked her husband into going to Albany. 1087 00:44:15,293 --> 00:44:17,084 Oh, my God, Susan, I'm so sorry. 1088 00:44:17,084 --> 00:44:18,168 [exhales regretfully] 1089 00:44:18,168 --> 00:44:20,293 You know how much grief your old man's been giving me? 1090 00:44:20,293 --> 00:44:22,709 For the record, I had no idea it was your baby shower. 1091 00:44:22,709 --> 00:44:24,418 I just wanted to celebrate my new lease on life 1092 00:44:24,418 --> 00:44:25,709 with my oldest, dearest friends. 1093 00:44:26,584 --> 00:44:28,376 Then little Whitaker comes along... 1094 00:44:28,376 --> 00:44:29,876 God, I love that name. 1095 00:44:31,084 --> 00:44:33,543 And then I just ruin everything. 1096 00:44:33,543 --> 00:44:36,418 I just... Again, my sincerest apologies. 1097 00:44:36,418 --> 00:44:38,001 No, you know, it... 1098 00:44:38,001 --> 00:44:40,459 It's okay. I know you've been through a lot, so... 1099 00:44:40,459 --> 00:44:42,751 Hell, yeah, they lopped off one of my nuts, for starters. 1100 00:44:42,751 --> 00:44:45,751 - [laughter] - Oh, you are still a handful! 1101 00:44:45,751 --> 00:44:47,376 Well, half a handful. 1102 00:44:47,376 --> 00:44:48,751 - [chortles] - Ricky... 1103 00:44:48,751 --> 00:44:51,209 Okay, Rico! Hey, let's go show you around. Huh? 1104 00:44:51,209 --> 00:44:52,834 Aren't you going to Introduce me? 1105 00:44:52,834 --> 00:44:54,543 Uh, we'll be right back. 1106 00:44:54,543 --> 00:44:56,793 [whispers] Stay away from that woman at all costs, okay? 1107 00:44:56,793 --> 00:44:58,876 That's Susan's mother. She's bad news. 1108 00:45:02,418 --> 00:45:03,918 Jesus. 1109 00:45:05,084 --> 00:45:07,876 Hey, if anyone asks about the shaking, just say, 1110 00:45:07,876 --> 00:45:09,876 "I have low blood sugar and I had a Red Bull." 1111 00:45:09,876 --> 00:45:11,209 Stopping you there. 1112 00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:13,793 I don't appreciate line readings. 1113 00:45:15,168 --> 00:45:16,376 What? 1114 00:45:16,376 --> 00:45:18,084 So, I lift up the mosquito net 1115 00:45:18,084 --> 00:45:20,251 and, sure enough, Bono's in there. 1116 00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:22,251 Plowing Mrs. Bono like a potato field. 1117 00:45:22,251 --> 00:45:23,793 Really? The Bono? 1118 00:45:23,793 --> 00:45:27,459 Yeah. Givin' the missus the old Irish shillelagh, as it were. 1119 00:45:27,459 --> 00:45:28,959 So I'm standing there embarrassed. 1120 00:45:28,959 --> 00:45:30,668 And then they go, [Irish accent] "It's okay. 1121 00:45:30,668 --> 00:45:31,918 "Watch us, we like it." 1122 00:45:31,918 --> 00:45:33,334 Is that an Irish thing? 1123 00:45:33,334 --> 00:45:36,418 I don't think so. But I wouldn't put it past them. 1124 00:45:36,418 --> 00:45:39,293 Hey, the guy saved ten million people from starving. 1125 00:45:39,293 --> 00:45:41,043 So, if he wants to let people 1126 00:45:41,043 --> 00:45:43,918 watch him corn-beef his wife's cabbage, who am I to stop him? 1127 00:45:43,918 --> 00:45:47,168 You know who has the best corn-beef in town? Geoff's. 1128 00:45:47,168 --> 00:45:49,209 And it isn't even really a deli. 1129 00:45:49,209 --> 00:45:51,168 I don't think that's the kind of corn-beef 1130 00:45:51,168 --> 00:45:52,543 he's talking about, Ginny. 1131 00:45:52,543 --> 00:45:54,584 Oh, man, all this food talk is making me hungry. 1132 00:45:54,584 --> 00:45:56,543 - Ricky, have you eaten yet? - [Summerhayes] Dean. 1133 00:45:56,543 --> 00:46:00,959 You haven't introduced me to Indiana Jones here. 1134 00:46:00,959 --> 00:46:02,543 Yeah, of course. 1135 00:46:02,543 --> 00:46:05,126 Ted, this is Ricky Stanicky, my good friend. 1136 00:46:05,126 --> 00:46:06,918 Uh, Ricky, this is Ted Summerhayes, my boss. 1137 00:46:06,918 --> 00:46:08,001 Ted, nice to meet you. 1138 00:46:08,001 --> 00:46:10,209 Digging the suit and the seedlings, man. 1139 00:46:10,209 --> 00:46:11,584 The seedlings? 1140 00:46:11,584 --> 00:46:13,251 The hair plugs. They're new, right? 1141 00:46:13,251 --> 00:46:14,459 What? 1142 00:46:14,459 --> 00:46:17,293 No. This is my hair. 1143 00:46:17,293 --> 00:46:20,334 Ha! Yeah, just like a doll's hair is her hair. 1144 00:46:20,334 --> 00:46:21,626 That's good. That's good. 1145 00:46:22,126 --> 00:46:24,543 So, Ted, you're one of those big banker guys, eh? 1146 00:46:24,543 --> 00:46:25,751 One of those guys out there 1147 00:46:25,751 --> 00:46:27,418 helping those billionaires get richer 1148 00:46:27,418 --> 00:46:29,793 and then floating around on your big swinging super-yachts, 1149 00:46:29,793 --> 00:46:31,751 leaving everybody else struggling to make ends meet 1150 00:46:31,751 --> 00:46:32,751 in their little dinghies. 1151 00:46:32,751 --> 00:46:35,543 - No. No, no, no. Not at all... - First of all, 1152 00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:39,334 we sell financial services to independent investors, 1153 00:46:39,334 --> 00:46:41,626 and anyone who's willing to pay for them 1154 00:46:41,626 --> 00:46:44,084 is welcome to share in the benefits. 1155 00:46:44,084 --> 00:46:46,168 Whatever helps you sleep at night, Ebenezer. 1156 00:46:46,168 --> 00:46:48,126 [chuckling nervously] Uh, if memory serves me, 1157 00:46:48,126 --> 00:46:49,376 Ebenezer Scrooge ends up 1158 00:46:49,376 --> 00:46:50,876 becoming the hero of that story. 1159 00:46:50,876 --> 00:46:53,126 - It's Ricky, right? - [Rod] Yeah. 1160 00:46:53,126 --> 00:46:57,418 I'm wondering, Ricky, are you always such a bust-out asshole, 1161 00:46:57,418 --> 00:46:58,834 right out of the gate? 1162 00:46:58,834 --> 00:47:00,459 Only when I'm talking to the type of guy 1163 00:47:00,459 --> 00:47:02,626 who can make a real difference in this world. 1164 00:47:02,626 --> 00:47:04,959 Ted, Ricky's been working overseas 1165 00:47:04,959 --> 00:47:07,084 for the last decade on non-profits. 1166 00:47:07,084 --> 00:47:10,376 So at least he walks the walk. 1167 00:47:11,001 --> 00:47:13,251 Well, that's nice, 1168 00:47:13,251 --> 00:47:16,584 but he's obviously getting his financial information 1169 00:47:16,584 --> 00:47:17,918 from 'The Huffington Post'. 1170 00:47:17,918 --> 00:47:19,501 No, actually, I've been reading 1171 00:47:19,501 --> 00:47:20,959 the 'San Francisco Chronicle' lately. 1172 00:47:20,959 --> 00:47:21,959 I've been following 1173 00:47:21,959 --> 00:47:23,376 your potential merger with World River. 1174 00:47:23,376 --> 00:47:24,918 It's interesting, unexpected. 1175 00:47:26,084 --> 00:47:28,001 Okay, hey, uh, there's a ton of people inside 1176 00:47:28,001 --> 00:47:30,293 - that still wanna meet you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1177 00:47:30,293 --> 00:47:31,543 I'd like to hear this. 1178 00:47:32,626 --> 00:47:34,543 Unexpected, how? 1179 00:47:34,543 --> 00:47:36,418 [Rod] Oh, come on. 1180 00:47:36,418 --> 00:47:38,793 They're the yin, and you got that big old yang. 1181 00:47:38,793 --> 00:47:40,293 It's a perfect fit. 1182 00:47:40,293 --> 00:47:42,209 In what way? 1183 00:47:42,209 --> 00:47:46,043 Well, you're old school. They're new age. 1184 00:47:46,043 --> 00:47:48,709 You got common sense, but they got radical new ideas. 1185 00:47:48,709 --> 00:47:50,209 For my money, I'm going common sense 1186 00:47:50,209 --> 00:47:51,668 over radical new ideas all day. 1187 00:47:51,668 --> 00:47:53,793 I'm sure the people in Portland and San Francisco agree. 1188 00:47:53,793 --> 00:47:55,293 And that's what makes you guys great. 1189 00:47:55,293 --> 00:47:57,043 But they're pretty good too. 1190 00:47:57,043 --> 00:48:00,084 But, together, you guys would be unstoppable. 1191 00:48:01,001 --> 00:48:03,584 This merger could make a real difference in this world, Ted. 1192 00:48:03,584 --> 00:48:04,834 A real difference. 1193 00:48:06,293 --> 00:48:07,959 Yin and yang, huh? 1194 00:48:09,043 --> 00:48:11,709 Oh, don't mind if I do. Thanks. 1195 00:48:16,959 --> 00:48:19,251 Where the hell did you hear about the World River deal? 1196 00:48:19,251 --> 00:48:20,793 They were all over your Twitter. 1197 00:48:20,793 --> 00:48:22,168 I just did a little research. 1198 00:48:22,168 --> 00:48:23,876 What are you doing on my Twitter? 1199 00:48:23,876 --> 00:48:25,751 Dean, I told you I'm an actor. 1200 00:48:25,751 --> 00:48:27,084 When I walk into a room, 1201 00:48:27,084 --> 00:48:28,709 I want to know exactly where I came from 1202 00:48:28,709 --> 00:48:30,918 and what every single person in that room's been doing. 1203 00:48:30,918 --> 00:48:32,709 That's what all the greats do. 1204 00:48:32,709 --> 00:48:34,209 Matt Damon actually bought a zoo 1205 00:48:34,209 --> 00:48:35,626 before he filmed 'We Bought a Zoo'. 1206 00:48:35,626 --> 00:48:37,084 I don't think that's true. 1207 00:48:37,084 --> 00:48:39,043 You don't believe me? Take it up with Reddit. 1208 00:48:39,543 --> 00:48:41,626 Oh, if you'll excuse me, 1209 00:48:41,626 --> 00:48:43,168 I got to go have a word with Keith. 1210 00:48:43,168 --> 00:48:45,626 What? How do you know Keith?! 1211 00:48:46,709 --> 00:48:50,459 We're in a weird love-triangle thing. 1212 00:48:51,918 --> 00:48:55,584 Look, all I'm saying is I hope there's no hard feelings. 1213 00:48:55,584 --> 00:48:57,501 Because let's face it, you won. 1214 00:48:58,334 --> 00:48:59,584 But I'm happy for you. 1215 00:48:59,584 --> 00:49:01,209 You guys make a fabulous couple. 1216 00:49:01,209 --> 00:49:03,084 I'm done with his ass. 1217 00:49:05,043 --> 00:49:07,209 Look, I still love the guy, 1218 00:49:07,209 --> 00:49:09,043 but I'm tired of working 60 hours a week 1219 00:49:09,043 --> 00:49:11,959 while he sits around not doing anything to improve himself. 1220 00:49:11,959 --> 00:49:13,251 I just... 1221 00:49:13,918 --> 00:49:16,126 I can't be with a person like that anymore. 1222 00:49:17,209 --> 00:49:19,209 What... what about his writing? That's work. 1223 00:49:19,209 --> 00:49:21,001 What writing? 1224 00:49:21,001 --> 00:49:22,626 The book he's working on. 1225 00:49:23,251 --> 00:49:26,043 He never told me he was writing a book. 1226 00:49:27,001 --> 00:49:29,334 He sure looks a lot older than you guys. 1227 00:49:29,334 --> 00:49:30,584 - Really? - Mmm. 1228 00:49:30,584 --> 00:49:32,543 Yeah, well, he is, by a couple years. 1229 00:49:32,543 --> 00:49:35,418 You know, we were like little brothers to him. 1230 00:49:35,418 --> 00:49:39,834 Hmm, no, I mean, like more than a couple of years. 1231 00:49:40,418 --> 00:49:42,043 Well, it's because of the drugs - he... 1232 00:49:42,043 --> 00:49:44,043 You know, he was a huge partier, back in the day. 1233 00:49:44,043 --> 00:49:45,834 I mean, like hard drugs. 1234 00:49:45,834 --> 00:49:48,126 Huffing glue. Like, the works. 1235 00:49:48,626 --> 00:49:50,918 I mean, that'll suck the youth right out of your face. 1236 00:49:50,918 --> 00:49:51,918 It does. 1237 00:49:52,459 --> 00:49:53,959 Yeah, that was all before he went on 1238 00:49:53,959 --> 00:49:55,834 - the straight and narrow. - Hmm. 1239 00:49:56,459 --> 00:49:58,959 Oh, look at them. Look how happy they are. 1240 00:49:58,959 --> 00:50:01,251 - [JT] I told you. - [Rabbi] It's an easy thing. 1241 00:50:01,251 --> 00:50:03,376 - [Dean] I don't see happiness. - [Erin] What? 1242 00:50:03,376 --> 00:50:05,668 I see fear and anxiety. 1243 00:50:05,668 --> 00:50:07,376 Fear of what? 1244 00:50:07,376 --> 00:50:09,043 [Dean] Of the responsibility of it all. 1245 00:50:09,043 --> 00:50:10,543 What do they even get out of it? 1246 00:50:10,543 --> 00:50:12,876 What do they get out of having a family? 1247 00:50:12,876 --> 00:50:14,168 - Yeah. - Come on. 1248 00:50:14,168 --> 00:50:17,418 I mean, I get it on paper. Sure, right. 1249 00:50:17,418 --> 00:50:20,709 But in reality, having a kid is fear and anxiety 1250 00:50:20,709 --> 00:50:22,668 with periodic moments of crushing pain. 1251 00:50:24,001 --> 00:50:25,751 And then you get bitter and resentful 1252 00:50:25,751 --> 00:50:28,376 and eventually just... mean. 1253 00:50:30,418 --> 00:50:32,584 At least that's how it was at my house. 1254 00:50:33,793 --> 00:50:35,543 You realize that's the most you've ever 1255 00:50:35,543 --> 00:50:37,043 told me about your childhood? 1256 00:50:38,668 --> 00:50:41,084 [Rod] Look, he is kind of lost right now, 1257 00:50:41,084 --> 00:50:43,334 but just give him a little time, he'll figure it out. 1258 00:50:44,251 --> 00:50:46,334 I've given him plenty of time. 1259 00:50:47,043 --> 00:50:49,793 I think you need to step back in, Ricky. 1260 00:50:49,793 --> 00:50:51,459 Be there for him. 1261 00:50:51,459 --> 00:50:53,543 Ease the blow a little when I drop him. 1262 00:50:53,543 --> 00:50:55,459 Oh, hey, Keith, slow down. 1263 00:50:55,459 --> 00:50:57,168 Take it from me, relationships like yours, 1264 00:50:57,168 --> 00:50:58,668 they don't come around that often. 1265 00:50:58,668 --> 00:50:59,668 They just don't. 1266 00:50:59,668 --> 00:51:01,876 My own mother was married six times. 1267 00:51:01,876 --> 00:51:03,501 She never found happiness. 1268 00:51:03,501 --> 00:51:04,918 An incredible sex life, 1269 00:51:04,918 --> 00:51:06,834 but she was filled up with everything but joy. 1270 00:51:07,626 --> 00:51:09,834 You really want to give up on this? 1271 00:51:09,834 --> 00:51:11,668 May not come back around. 1272 00:51:16,209 --> 00:51:17,584 Ricky! 1273 00:51:18,459 --> 00:51:20,959 I understand you spent a lot of time in Kenya 1274 00:51:20,959 --> 00:51:23,084 working with the Give Green organization. 1275 00:51:23,084 --> 00:51:25,876 Yeah, yeah, good peeps. 1276 00:51:25,876 --> 00:51:27,418 Green peeps, yeah. 1277 00:51:27,418 --> 00:51:29,959 I'm interested in what your experience was there, 1278 00:51:29,959 --> 00:51:31,918 because, you know, I've been reading up on them 1279 00:51:31,918 --> 00:51:35,043 and they're a really intriguing organization. 1280 00:51:35,043 --> 00:51:36,209 Yeah, you know what? 1281 00:51:36,209 --> 00:51:38,501 I was just trying to find one of those cheese-puff trays. 1282 00:51:38,501 --> 00:51:40,793 - I'll show you where they are. - Right, but before you do, 1283 00:51:40,793 --> 00:51:42,334 can you tell me about Charlie Sennet? 1284 00:51:42,334 --> 00:51:43,334 Huh? 1285 00:51:43,334 --> 00:51:47,168 Charlie Sennet, the journalist who started Give Green 1286 00:51:47,168 --> 00:51:48,459 and is still hands on. 1287 00:51:48,459 --> 00:51:50,668 I mean, did you get to meet him? 1288 00:51:50,668 --> 00:51:52,543 What do you think of his mission statement? 1289 00:51:52,543 --> 00:51:53,876 Is it tenable? 1290 00:51:53,876 --> 00:51:56,584 Oh, yeah, of course it's tenable. 1291 00:51:56,584 --> 00:51:57,876 Elevenable, twelveable... 1292 00:51:57,876 --> 00:51:59,543 I mean, it's infinite really, right? 1293 00:51:59,543 --> 00:52:00,543 [Leona] Ha-ha. 1294 00:52:00,543 --> 00:52:02,043 I mean, I'm intrigued by their policy 1295 00:52:02,043 --> 00:52:03,876 of direct charitable donations. 1296 00:52:03,876 --> 00:52:05,376 You know, personally, I think 1297 00:52:05,376 --> 00:52:07,626 donations need to be conditional. 1298 00:52:07,626 --> 00:52:09,543 What do you think? 1299 00:52:10,209 --> 00:52:11,376 [Dean] Uh, you know what? 1300 00:52:11,376 --> 00:52:12,918 It's group photo time. Group photo time. 1301 00:52:12,918 --> 00:52:14,834 Group photo! Come on, let's make some memories! 1302 00:52:14,834 --> 00:52:15,876 Yeah. Yeah. 1303 00:52:15,876 --> 00:52:18,001 You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you, Ricky? 1304 00:52:18,001 --> 00:52:20,418 Maybe he just doesn't want to talk shop at a bris, Leona. 1305 00:52:20,418 --> 00:52:22,959 Or maybe he's a fraud. Are you a fraud, sir? 1306 00:52:23,834 --> 00:52:25,918 [cool jazz piano music plays] 1307 00:52:28,751 --> 00:52:30,751 [piano music intensifies] 1308 00:52:36,334 --> 00:52:38,001 I'll tell you what's fraudulent, Leona. 1309 00:52:38,001 --> 00:52:39,001 Yeah? 1310 00:52:39,001 --> 00:52:40,834 The perception that the program at Give Green 1311 00:52:40,834 --> 00:52:42,209 needs to be conditional. 1312 00:52:42,209 --> 00:52:44,168 They choose to offer unconditional cash transfers 1313 00:52:44,168 --> 00:52:45,251 for two reasons. 1314 00:52:45,251 --> 00:52:47,918 First, empowering poor people to make their own choices? 1315 00:52:47,918 --> 00:52:50,084 Well, that advances their core value of respect. 1316 00:52:50,084 --> 00:52:52,084 Second, imposing conditions requires 1317 00:52:52,084 --> 00:52:54,501 expensive monitoring and enforcement structures 1318 00:52:54,501 --> 00:52:57,209 that could raise administrative costs as high as 63%. 1319 00:52:57,709 --> 00:52:59,793 The existing empirical evidence comparing the impact 1320 00:52:59,793 --> 00:53:02,168 of conditional to unconditional cash transfers 1321 00:53:02,168 --> 00:53:03,918 shows that these added costs 1322 00:53:03,918 --> 00:53:06,209 simply do not produce commensurate benefits. 1323 00:53:08,168 --> 00:53:10,501 I wonder where those cheese-puff trays went off to. 1324 00:53:11,543 --> 00:53:14,043 [cool jazz piano music plays] 1325 00:53:15,043 --> 00:53:17,751 [hushed chattering] 1326 00:53:19,209 --> 00:53:20,834 Did you want a cheese puff, Leona? 1327 00:53:20,834 --> 00:53:22,084 [piano music outro plays] 1328 00:53:22,084 --> 00:53:23,584 No, thank you. 1329 00:53:26,459 --> 00:53:27,626 Huh, so what are these? 1330 00:53:27,626 --> 00:53:29,209 Glazed dates stuffed with Asiago cheese 1331 00:53:29,209 --> 00:53:30,209 and pickled herring. 1332 00:53:30,209 --> 00:53:31,918 Don't mind if I don't. 1333 00:53:31,918 --> 00:53:33,001 No problem. 1334 00:53:34,668 --> 00:53:36,709 - That was amazing. - Unbelievable. 1335 00:53:36,709 --> 00:53:38,501 Where the hell did you learn all that stuff? 1336 00:53:38,501 --> 00:53:40,376 Gotta buy the zoo, baby. 1337 00:53:40,376 --> 00:53:42,001 What? Who's that...? 1338 00:53:42,001 --> 00:53:43,584 Gary Polisner's here. 1339 00:53:44,084 --> 00:53:48,084 $8,000. It's on lease, but that's how much it's worth. 1340 00:53:48,084 --> 00:53:49,251 Oh. 1341 00:53:49,251 --> 00:53:50,793 Hey, Polisner! 1342 00:53:51,418 --> 00:53:54,751 Hey! Well you move along, I'll talk to you later on. 1343 00:53:54,751 --> 00:53:56,376 Get over here, hey? 1344 00:53:56,376 --> 00:53:58,584 Had to park my Cybertruck in the next county. 1345 00:53:58,584 --> 00:54:00,459 What, you too cheap for a valet? 1346 00:54:00,459 --> 00:54:01,751 [laughing] 1347 00:54:01,751 --> 00:54:04,084 - Crap! I know that guy. - What? What guy? 1348 00:54:04,084 --> 00:54:05,834 The guy standing with Hairy Krishna. 1349 00:54:06,668 --> 00:54:08,459 I saved you a bagel with lox. 1350 00:54:08,459 --> 00:54:11,001 I asked for an everything bagel. That's a nothing bagel. 1351 00:54:11,501 --> 00:54:13,543 Hey, you got any booze in this place? 1352 00:54:13,543 --> 00:54:14,543 Yeah. 1353 00:54:14,543 --> 00:54:16,501 [Gary] Let me guess, it's a cash bar. [laughs] 1354 00:54:16,501 --> 00:54:18,001 Oh, shit! 1355 00:54:18,001 --> 00:54:19,584 Go up the stairs. Go into the garage. 1356 00:54:19,584 --> 00:54:21,626 Just get in there. Don't come out until I tell you. 1357 00:54:21,626 --> 00:54:23,001 All right? Go, go, go, go, go. 1358 00:54:23,001 --> 00:54:24,334 Fuck. 1359 00:54:24,334 --> 00:54:26,293 And as you can tell, I actually don't sweat... 1360 00:54:26,293 --> 00:54:27,793 [JT] What the fuck are you saying? 1361 00:54:27,793 --> 00:54:29,751 Ricky knows Polisner. 1362 00:54:29,751 --> 00:54:31,834 - How? - How the hell do I know? 1363 00:54:31,834 --> 00:54:34,168 They're both actors. Maybe they crossed paths somehow. 1364 00:54:34,168 --> 00:54:35,793 We got to get Polisner out of here. 1365 00:54:35,793 --> 00:54:37,251 He just got here. 1366 00:54:38,668 --> 00:54:39,918 Goddamn it. 1367 00:54:39,918 --> 00:54:41,626 We could put him in a K-hole. 1368 00:54:41,626 --> 00:54:42,668 What's that? 1369 00:54:43,168 --> 00:54:44,418 Dose him with ketamine. 1370 00:54:44,918 --> 00:54:47,376 Yeah, great idea. I'll just run down to CVS and grab a bottle. 1371 00:54:47,376 --> 00:54:48,709 No need. 1372 00:54:50,001 --> 00:54:51,959 Why the hell do you have ketamine? 1373 00:54:53,376 --> 00:54:56,626 Well, sometimes after a hard day, you... 1374 00:54:57,293 --> 00:54:58,918 You K-hole yourself. 1375 00:54:58,918 --> 00:55:01,084 I could see that. Where do you get these things? 1376 00:55:01,084 --> 00:55:02,626 - My grandmother died. - Guys! 1377 00:55:02,626 --> 00:55:04,001 We're not K-holing anyone. 1378 00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:06,126 Stop being such a fucking wang, Dean. Okay? 1379 00:55:06,126 --> 00:55:07,668 We're going to get him a little drowsy 1380 00:55:07,668 --> 00:55:09,293 and then put him in a cab. 1381 00:55:09,293 --> 00:55:10,584 Are you guys serious right now? 1382 00:55:10,584 --> 00:55:12,334 You want to drug the Red Robin guy? 1383 00:55:12,334 --> 00:55:14,876 What other fucking choice do we have? 1384 00:55:14,876 --> 00:55:18,084 "Seconds on steak fries? Uh, yeah!" 1385 00:55:18,084 --> 00:55:20,918 First take. Everyone applauded. That's the one they used, too. 1386 00:55:20,918 --> 00:55:21,959 [Summerhayes groans] 1387 00:55:22,876 --> 00:55:25,876 Fuck it. Let's K-hole the prick. 1388 00:55:25,876 --> 00:55:28,668 - [Dean] This is it. - [JT] Yep, let's go. Let's go. 1389 00:55:28,668 --> 00:55:30,168 [loud exclaiming] 1390 00:55:30,168 --> 00:55:31,543 - [Wes] All right. - [Dean] No way! 1391 00:55:31,543 --> 00:55:33,709 [JT] That's right, I hit. That's right, I hit. 1392 00:55:33,709 --> 00:55:35,626 - Let's go for two. - He's got you believing. 1393 00:55:35,626 --> 00:55:36,918 Come on, baby. Come on! 1394 00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:38,334 Bad throw. Bad throw. 1395 00:55:38,334 --> 00:55:40,209 Bad throw! Dude, your foot came off the couch. 1396 00:55:40,209 --> 00:55:42,668 - Oh, hey, Gare. - Oh, hey, Dean, what's up? 1397 00:55:42,668 --> 00:55:45,751 Hey, uh, you guys seen my Red Robin commercial yet? 1398 00:55:45,751 --> 00:55:47,834 - We did. Yeah, we did. - Yeah. Shit went national. 1399 00:55:47,834 --> 00:55:48,876 Yeah, I love that. 1400 00:55:48,876 --> 00:55:51,459 Thinking of getting me a sweet kimono dragon. 1401 00:55:51,459 --> 00:55:53,543 Isn't it 'komodo'? 1402 00:55:53,543 --> 00:55:55,459 No, not the one I'm getting, right? 1403 00:55:55,459 --> 00:55:57,793 - Oh, yeah! - [Gary] Off market. All cash. 1404 00:55:57,793 --> 00:56:00,918 - What are you losers doing? - We're playing a game 1405 00:56:00,918 --> 00:56:02,626 where if you catch three peanuts in a row, 1406 00:56:02,626 --> 00:56:04,376 you get 20 bucks from each of us. 1407 00:56:04,376 --> 00:56:05,418 Why, you want in? 1408 00:56:06,168 --> 00:56:07,709 - Fuck yeah! - Oh? 1409 00:56:07,709 --> 00:56:09,293 - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Okay. 1410 00:56:09,293 --> 00:56:10,793 Man, I'll kick all your asses. 1411 00:56:10,793 --> 00:56:12,626 Step right up and get behind the hat. 1412 00:56:12,626 --> 00:56:14,584 - [JT] No cheating. - [Gary] I got this. 1413 00:56:15,334 --> 00:56:16,626 - Here we go. - You focused? 1414 00:56:17,709 --> 00:56:19,793 - [JT] Whoa! - Whoa! Boom! 1415 00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:20,959 Wow! 1416 00:56:20,959 --> 00:56:22,501 Relax, Gare. Little bit of luck there. 1417 00:56:22,501 --> 00:56:23,584 - Okay. - [JT] Get low. 1418 00:56:25,584 --> 00:56:28,751 - Ohh! Yeah. - Ohh! Yes! 1419 00:56:28,751 --> 00:56:30,793 I'm just as good as Wes at catching nuts in my mouth. 1420 00:56:30,793 --> 00:56:32,876 Oh. Right. 'Cause I'm gay. 1421 00:56:32,876 --> 00:56:33,959 [laughing] Yeah. 1422 00:56:33,959 --> 00:56:35,626 [whispers] I'm so happy we're doing this. 1423 00:56:36,209 --> 00:56:37,834 Okay, this one's for all the marbles. 1424 00:56:37,834 --> 00:56:39,959 [JT] All right, Gary, let's go, buddy. You ready? 1425 00:56:39,959 --> 00:56:41,793 [Dean] Ready? One, two... 1426 00:56:42,459 --> 00:56:44,376 [in slow-motion] Three... 1427 00:56:45,834 --> 00:56:48,543 [triumphant music] 1428 00:57:06,543 --> 00:57:08,543 Ba-doomp-pow! All net! 1429 00:57:11,209 --> 00:57:13,084 I think I ate a bad one. 1430 00:57:13,709 --> 00:57:14,876 Bitter. 1431 00:57:16,001 --> 00:57:17,543 [Rabbi] My sweet boy. 1432 00:57:17,543 --> 00:57:21,043 May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh. 1433 00:57:21,043 --> 00:57:24,459 May God bless you and watch over you. 1434 00:57:24,459 --> 00:57:26,209 Shouldn't we be stopping this? 1435 00:57:26,209 --> 00:57:29,126 Don't worry, we got about a half hour before it kicks in. 1436 00:57:32,001 --> 00:57:34,543 Hey, I figured out how I know him. 1437 00:57:34,543 --> 00:57:36,626 He's in those Red Robin commercials. 1438 00:57:36,626 --> 00:57:39,834 "Seconds on steak fries? Uh, yeah!" 1439 00:57:39,834 --> 00:57:41,751 Dude, that was great. You should be an actor. 1440 00:57:41,751 --> 00:57:43,543 So you guys have never met before? 1441 00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:45,709 - No, but... - Yeah, just a big fan. 1442 00:57:49,001 --> 00:57:51,501 - All right, it's time. - Okay. 1443 00:57:55,251 --> 00:57:57,584 [laughing] Oh... 1444 00:57:57,584 --> 00:57:59,209 we're going to need a steak knife. 1445 00:57:59,209 --> 00:58:00,251 Ha! 1446 00:58:01,418 --> 00:58:04,543 Wow! Is this his bris or his bar mitzvah? 1447 00:58:04,543 --> 00:58:05,709 [nervous chuckle] 1448 00:58:05,709 --> 00:58:08,876 Okay, little vinegar... Whitaker... 1449 00:58:09,918 --> 00:58:14,168 [Rabbi slurring] ...has skanctified us with the... 1450 00:58:14,959 --> 00:58:17,584 ...commandiments... com... condiments... 1451 00:58:18,668 --> 00:58:20,293 ...comma... commandments... 1452 00:58:20,293 --> 00:58:22,209 With the commander-ments. 1453 00:58:22,209 --> 00:58:24,209 With the commandments. Oy... 1454 00:58:24,793 --> 00:58:27,126 - [hushed chatter] - [woman] He's seems confused. 1455 00:58:28,876 --> 00:58:31,001 [whispers] What the hell? Is he drunk? 1456 00:58:31,001 --> 00:58:33,626 [whispers] I don't know. I saw him eat a peanut earlier. 1457 00:58:33,626 --> 00:58:35,126 Maybe he's having a reaction? 1458 00:58:35,126 --> 00:58:36,876 - Man, you said half an hour. - I don't know. 1459 00:58:36,876 --> 00:58:38,626 I think I might have developed a tolerance. 1460 00:58:40,293 --> 00:58:41,543 Okay. 1461 00:58:42,834 --> 00:58:44,751 [Rabbi slurring] And he hasht given us 1462 00:58:44,751 --> 00:58:46,709 the command to... 1463 00:58:46,709 --> 00:58:48,001 circumvision! 1464 00:58:48,001 --> 00:58:50,126 [people gasping] 1465 00:58:50,126 --> 00:58:53,376 Hi, fishy-fishy! Oh, to fishy-fishy! 1466 00:58:53,376 --> 00:58:56,751 Mommy, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. 1467 00:58:56,751 --> 00:58:58,334 [Susan] Oh, my God! 1468 00:58:58,334 --> 00:59:00,168 Oh, my God! He's allergic to peanuts. 1469 00:59:00,168 --> 00:59:01,376 What did she say? 1470 00:59:01,376 --> 00:59:03,251 She said he's allergic to penis. 1471 00:59:03,251 --> 00:59:04,959 Oh, he's certainly in the wrong business. 1472 00:59:04,959 --> 00:59:06,418 Ba-doomp-pow! 1473 00:59:06,418 --> 00:59:07,959 Oh, my God. 1474 00:59:07,959 --> 00:59:09,959 He's only half circumcised. 1475 00:59:09,959 --> 00:59:11,459 Take the kid to the hospital. 1476 00:59:11,459 --> 00:59:14,334 - Yes, definitely a hospital. - I could call an ambulance. 1477 00:59:14,334 --> 00:59:16,084 No, this has to be done now. 1478 00:59:16,084 --> 00:59:17,709 Let Ricky finish it. 1479 00:59:17,709 --> 00:59:20,209 Ricky? What? No! No. Are you insane? 1480 00:59:20,209 --> 00:59:22,376 He used to work for Bono's foundation in Africa, 1481 00:59:22,376 --> 00:59:23,584 circumcising adults. 1482 00:59:23,584 --> 00:59:24,793 Aw. 1483 00:59:25,501 --> 00:59:29,001 Yeah, he did. But that was so long ago. 1484 00:59:29,001 --> 00:59:31,001 Plus, it's got to be way easier to circumcise 1485 00:59:31,001 --> 00:59:33,209 a gorgeous African penis than a baby penis. 1486 00:59:33,209 --> 00:59:34,834 You would think. 1487 00:59:34,834 --> 00:59:36,209 I can do it. 1488 00:59:37,668 --> 00:59:40,918 Uh, Ricky... Ricky! This is a baby we're talking about. 1489 00:59:40,918 --> 00:59:43,626 A real baby. Are you sure? 1490 00:59:43,626 --> 00:59:46,043 Yeah. Yeah. It's not like I'm cutting a diamond. 1491 00:59:46,043 --> 00:59:49,793 I'm sure I can pull it off. Pun intended. 1492 00:59:49,793 --> 00:59:52,543 No. No! We need a certified mohel, right? 1493 00:59:52,543 --> 00:59:54,584 - Right. - I'll just look one up on Yelp. 1494 00:59:54,584 --> 00:59:56,126 What? No! No Yelping. 1495 00:59:56,126 --> 00:59:59,251 No, we already have a mohel. He's already said the tefilah. 1496 00:59:59,251 --> 01:00:01,751 We just need to let Ricky finish it off. 1497 01:00:01,751 --> 01:00:03,793 Mom, no, I'm going to take him to a hospital, 1498 01:00:03,793 --> 01:00:05,293 where doctors work. 1499 01:00:05,293 --> 01:00:07,209 Does anyone here care that my grandson 1500 01:00:07,209 --> 01:00:09,334 is laying there half circumcised? 1501 01:00:09,334 --> 01:00:11,168 [snipping] And we're done! 1502 01:00:11,168 --> 01:00:13,501 [gasping] 1503 01:00:14,334 --> 01:00:16,043 Just a little off the ol' Tiparillo. 1504 01:00:17,209 --> 01:00:18,626 - Huh. - [Rod] Who's next? 1505 01:00:18,626 --> 01:00:20,876 Summerhayes, get over here so I can snip off that turtleneck. 1506 01:00:20,876 --> 01:00:23,334 Stanicky, you are unbelievable. 1507 01:00:23,334 --> 01:00:26,084 - All right, this is yours. - No. 1508 01:00:26,084 --> 01:00:29,209 Oh, my God, Ricky! 1509 01:00:29,209 --> 01:00:32,084 - [people applauding] - [nervous chuckling] 1510 01:00:35,793 --> 01:00:36,918 Yes! 1511 01:00:36,918 --> 01:00:39,959 Ricky Stanicky, you are even better than advertized. 1512 01:00:39,959 --> 01:00:41,918 Ah, Susan, it's just a pleasure to help you out. 1513 01:00:41,918 --> 01:00:44,251 By the way, the kid's got a good-looking schmeckel on him. 1514 01:00:44,251 --> 01:00:46,418 Real hog barrel. He's going to have some fun with that thing. 1515 01:00:46,418 --> 01:00:47,418 [laughter] 1516 01:00:47,418 --> 01:00:48,959 - Takes after his papa. - [Rod] Yeah. 1517 01:00:48,959 --> 01:00:50,709 Ricky, do you really have to leave already? 1518 01:00:50,709 --> 01:00:52,209 Can't you just stay one more night? 1519 01:00:52,209 --> 01:00:54,501 I would love to, Carlsbad... 1520 01:00:55,584 --> 01:00:56,959 ...but I got to go. 1521 01:00:56,959 --> 01:00:58,001 [Susan and JT] Aw... 1522 01:00:58,001 --> 01:01:00,501 He's going to Nairobi to help out with the Ebola situation. 1523 01:01:00,501 --> 01:01:01,543 - Yeah. - Oh. 1524 01:01:01,543 --> 01:01:02,543 Nairobi? 1525 01:01:02,543 --> 01:01:04,834 Yeah. I goes where I's needed. 1526 01:01:04,834 --> 01:01:06,001 [men chanting] Ricky! Ricky! 1527 01:01:06,001 --> 01:01:07,168 [laughing] Those guys. 1528 01:01:09,334 --> 01:01:10,626 Well... 1529 01:01:10,626 --> 01:01:12,209 [light laughter] 1530 01:01:13,376 --> 01:01:14,751 [Susan] Oh, man. 1531 01:01:14,751 --> 01:01:16,376 - Okay, bye, Ricky. - [Wes] One of a kind. 1532 01:01:16,376 --> 01:01:18,376 - I'll see you inside. - I'll see you in a minute. 1533 01:01:18,376 --> 01:01:19,668 I'm going to help with the baby. 1534 01:01:19,668 --> 01:01:20,709 Okay. 1535 01:01:23,334 --> 01:01:25,126 That was amazing. Incredible. 1536 01:01:25,126 --> 01:01:26,334 You are a legend. 1537 01:01:26,334 --> 01:01:28,334 That was world class, Rod. 1538 01:01:28,334 --> 01:01:29,376 It's Ricky. 1539 01:01:29,376 --> 01:01:31,043 [all laugh] 1540 01:01:33,334 --> 01:01:35,459 - Yeah... - Right. 1541 01:01:35,459 --> 01:01:37,543 Well, here's your dough. 1542 01:01:37,543 --> 01:01:38,876 Uh, we put some extra in there 1543 01:01:38,876 --> 01:01:40,626 just 'cause you knocked it out of the park, man. 1544 01:01:40,626 --> 01:01:41,626 - Yes you did. - Yeah. 1545 01:01:41,626 --> 01:01:43,126 Where did you learn to circumcise? 1546 01:01:43,126 --> 01:01:46,918 Oh, had a job peeling shrimp at Beefsteak Charlie's. 1547 01:01:46,918 --> 01:01:48,751 [chuckles awkwardly] Okay. 1548 01:01:48,751 --> 01:01:50,584 ["Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" ringtone plays] 1549 01:01:50,584 --> 01:01:52,709 - Oh, you blowing up, huh? - [ringtone continues] 1550 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:54,251 Are you going to get that, or...? 1551 01:01:54,251 --> 01:01:55,543 [phone bleeps, ringtone stops] 1552 01:01:55,543 --> 01:01:58,209 No. That's just a crazy fan. 1553 01:01:58,209 --> 01:01:59,793 Well, now you got three crazy fans. 1554 01:01:59,793 --> 01:02:00,876 That's right. 1555 01:02:01,918 --> 01:02:03,209 You guys take care. 1556 01:02:03,209 --> 01:02:04,709 - You too! - Yeah, you too. 1557 01:02:04,709 --> 01:02:06,543 - We'll be fine. You take care. - Yeah, please. 1558 01:02:06,543 --> 01:02:08,168 If you're ever in Atlantic City... 1559 01:02:08,168 --> 01:02:09,959 - Possibly. - We'll let you know. 1560 01:02:09,959 --> 01:02:11,459 We'll definitely let you know. 1561 01:02:12,334 --> 01:02:14,168 [engine idling] 1562 01:02:15,418 --> 01:02:16,918 He's good to go. 1563 01:02:16,918 --> 01:02:18,334 - [Dean] Thanks, Rod. - Thank you. 1564 01:02:18,334 --> 01:02:19,584 It's Ricky. 1565 01:02:23,418 --> 01:02:25,168 [JT chuckles] 1566 01:02:25,168 --> 01:02:27,251 - [sighs heavily] Whew! - Yeah! 1567 01:02:27,251 --> 01:02:29,209 - I'm hungry, man. - [JT] Let's feed you. 1568 01:02:29,209 --> 01:02:30,543 [laughter] 1569 01:02:30,543 --> 01:02:32,126 [Wes] I can't believe it worked! 1570 01:02:32,126 --> 01:02:34,501 I can't believe it actually fucking worked. 1571 01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:36,043 As much of a nut job as Rod is... 1572 01:02:36,043 --> 01:02:38,876 - Uh, it's Ricky. - Oh, sorry, Ricky. 1573 01:02:39,959 --> 01:02:42,209 But he came through. He actually came through. 1574 01:02:43,209 --> 01:02:44,501 So that's it, though, right? 1575 01:02:44,501 --> 01:02:45,959 - Yep. - No more Ricky Stanicky. 1576 01:02:45,959 --> 01:02:48,376 No, we are never mentioning his name ever again. 1577 01:02:48,376 --> 01:02:50,418 It was fun while it lasted. Right? Okay. 1578 01:02:50,418 --> 01:02:53,459 But it's time to get off that rollercoaster once and for all. 1579 01:02:53,459 --> 01:02:56,126 Yep. Ride's over, folks! Please exit to your left! 1580 01:02:56,126 --> 01:02:57,709 Please check for your belongings! 1581 01:02:57,709 --> 01:03:00,418 You gotta be this tall to ride this ride. 1582 01:03:00,418 --> 01:03:02,251 Wes, you always do one too many, man. 1583 01:03:02,251 --> 01:03:03,543 Fuck you. Is that one too many? 1584 01:03:03,543 --> 01:03:06,251 - Oh, it is. That is too many. - Guys, guys, guys. Guys. 1585 01:03:06,251 --> 01:03:09,751 For the very last time, a toast... 1586 01:03:09,751 --> 01:03:11,376 To Ricky Stanicky. 1587 01:03:11,376 --> 01:03:13,459 [Wes and JT] To Ricky Stanicky! 1588 01:03:13,459 --> 01:03:15,168 Best friend we never had. 1589 01:03:15,168 --> 01:03:16,168 [glasses clinking] 1590 01:03:18,334 --> 01:03:20,376 - You got some on your arm. - Hoo! 1591 01:03:22,293 --> 01:03:24,584 [JT] I mean, it's my newborn son, you know, 1592 01:03:24,584 --> 01:03:26,126 it's like this bonding thing. 1593 01:03:26,126 --> 01:03:27,834 If anybody else had pissed on me, 1594 01:03:27,834 --> 01:03:29,418 I'd be totally grossed out. 1595 01:03:29,418 --> 01:03:30,834 What about if it was Susan? 1596 01:03:30,834 --> 01:03:32,043 Eew! 1597 01:03:32,043 --> 01:03:35,126 Hey, guys, grab a cup of coffee and get in here. 1598 01:03:36,043 --> 01:03:37,084 Yes! 1599 01:03:37,084 --> 01:03:39,459 Yesterday was a real kick. 1600 01:03:39,459 --> 01:03:41,168 It was nice spending time with you guys 1601 01:03:41,168 --> 01:03:42,334 outside the boiler room. 1602 01:03:42,334 --> 01:03:43,584 - Mm-hm. - It is. 1603 01:03:43,584 --> 01:03:45,084 Who doesn't love a good bris, right? 1604 01:03:45,084 --> 01:03:47,376 Right! We should do it all the time. 1605 01:03:48,043 --> 01:03:51,168 - Have a bris? - Hang out. We should hang... 1606 01:03:51,168 --> 01:03:54,793 By the way, your wife, Miriam, she's amazing. 1607 01:03:54,793 --> 01:03:57,334 - Just fantastic. - A lovely, lovely woman. 1608 01:03:57,334 --> 01:04:00,043 Thanks. She liked you guys too. 1609 01:04:00,043 --> 01:04:03,209 And she was really taken with your friend Stanicky. 1610 01:04:03,209 --> 01:04:06,834 He's got brass balls on him, that guy. 1611 01:04:06,834 --> 01:04:08,626 She loved how in my face he was. 1612 01:04:08,626 --> 01:04:09,668 Really? 1613 01:04:09,668 --> 01:04:11,501 Yeah, he'll give it to you, man, that guy. 1614 01:04:11,501 --> 01:04:12,959 - That's Ricky. - Yeah. He'll... 1615 01:04:12,959 --> 01:04:15,043 - Just... he's a character. - He is a character. 1616 01:04:15,043 --> 01:04:17,209 - A powerful creature, man. - He sure is. 1617 01:04:17,209 --> 01:04:18,709 That's why I hired him. 1618 01:04:18,709 --> 01:04:20,293 - Mm-hm. - Awesome. 1619 01:04:20,293 --> 01:04:21,793 What the fuck did you just say? 1620 01:04:22,918 --> 01:04:24,793 What the fuck did you just say? 1621 01:04:25,834 --> 01:04:29,293 I just said, "Awesome." 1622 01:04:29,293 --> 01:04:30,793 That's awesome. 1623 01:04:30,793 --> 01:04:32,459 You just said... 1624 01:04:32,459 --> 01:04:34,251 What did you say? Just say it one more time? 1625 01:04:34,251 --> 01:04:38,251 Ricky gave me his number and when I got home, I called him. 1626 01:04:38,251 --> 01:04:40,209 I got him right before he got on the plane too. 1627 01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:41,918 He came over to my place. 1628 01:04:41,918 --> 01:04:44,501 We were up till 4 a.m. banging out a deal. 1629 01:04:44,501 --> 01:04:46,334 The buff guy? 1630 01:04:46,334 --> 01:04:48,418 The guy who wore the safari outfit to my son's bris 1631 01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:50,043 and circumcised him with a cigar cutter? 1632 01:04:50,043 --> 01:04:51,709 - You banged out a deal? - Yes. 1633 01:04:51,709 --> 01:04:53,376 I hired Ricky Stanicky. 1634 01:04:54,001 --> 01:04:56,376 Wow! Wow! 1635 01:04:56,376 --> 01:04:59,543 But do you think... like, he has the experience 1636 01:04:59,543 --> 01:05:01,626 - to be working here? - Yeah, does he, ya think? 1637 01:05:01,626 --> 01:05:03,793 Nah, whatever he lacks in experience, 1638 01:05:03,793 --> 01:05:07,626 he more than makes up for with piss and vinegar. 1639 01:05:07,626 --> 01:05:10,293 I loved his take on the World River deal. 1640 01:05:10,293 --> 01:05:12,126 - But that's... - Not his take, really. 1641 01:05:12,126 --> 01:05:14,001 Yeah, that's just what he read in the news. 1642 01:05:14,001 --> 01:05:15,126 Uh-huh. 1643 01:05:15,126 --> 01:05:17,751 You can stop playing games, guys. 1644 01:05:17,751 --> 01:05:20,043 I know you've been recruiting him. 1645 01:05:20,043 --> 01:05:21,543 You don't think I noticed 1646 01:05:21,543 --> 01:05:25,876 that JT expensed three rounds of golf at Carnegie Abbey 1647 01:05:25,876 --> 01:05:27,543 in the last couple of months? 1648 01:05:29,459 --> 01:05:31,793 That was two rounds, I think... 1649 01:05:31,793 --> 01:05:33,793 B-because we were... we were... 1650 01:05:33,793 --> 01:05:36,084 - We were recruiting him. - Recruiting him. 1651 01:05:36,084 --> 01:05:37,584 And we decided... 1652 01:05:37,584 --> 01:05:39,459 - Not... not good. - Not Summerhayes material. 1653 01:05:39,459 --> 01:05:40,668 Yeah, he just doesn't... 1654 01:05:40,668 --> 01:05:42,459 [JT] I don't think he's right for this place. 1655 01:05:42,459 --> 01:05:44,418 Hey! Speak of the devil. 1656 01:05:45,126 --> 01:05:48,876 [mellow funk music] 1657 01:05:52,834 --> 01:05:53,834 Okay. 1658 01:05:53,834 --> 01:05:54,918 - Oh, Philip. - Yeah? 1659 01:05:54,918 --> 01:05:58,209 I was hoping to see something in a mahogany or a birch. 1660 01:05:58,209 --> 01:06:02,376 I believe this is Carolina pine. That's a shit wood. 1661 01:06:03,126 --> 01:06:05,709 Okay. Uh... shit wood... 1662 01:06:05,709 --> 01:06:07,084 Philip, can we have a sec? 1663 01:06:07,084 --> 01:06:08,626 Yes. Please. 1664 01:06:09,376 --> 01:06:11,334 [Rod] Oh, and for these walls, 1665 01:06:11,334 --> 01:06:14,334 I'd love to see something in more of a ham color. 1666 01:06:15,209 --> 01:06:16,834 Right. 1667 01:06:19,751 --> 01:06:21,751 What the fuck do you think you're doing here? 1668 01:06:21,751 --> 01:06:24,209 This is unbelievable. How cool is this, right? 1669 01:06:24,209 --> 01:06:26,209 And I didn't even have to fill out an application! 1670 01:06:26,209 --> 01:06:28,584 Application?! This isn't Little Caesar's. 1671 01:06:28,584 --> 01:06:31,376 There's no way for you to act your way through this, okay? 1672 01:06:31,376 --> 01:06:33,584 There's no script for you to follow here. 1673 01:06:33,584 --> 01:06:35,418 Okay, you guys can help me out. 1674 01:06:35,418 --> 01:06:37,543 Just like I helped you out in the bris thing, right? 1675 01:06:37,543 --> 01:06:40,126 - That's what friends are for. - Friends? We're not friends! 1676 01:06:40,126 --> 01:06:42,293 The deal was you come to the gig, then you leave. 1677 01:06:42,293 --> 01:06:43,376 You got paid. 1678 01:06:43,376 --> 01:06:44,543 - Now go! - Go! 1679 01:06:44,543 --> 01:06:46,959 Come on. What was I supposed to do? 1680 01:06:46,959 --> 01:06:48,459 Your boss, Summersquash, hits me up 1681 01:06:48,459 --> 01:06:50,084 - and he's like, "Hey, man." - 'Summerhayes'? 1682 01:06:50,084 --> 01:06:51,584 Yes, that guy. 1683 01:06:51,584 --> 01:06:53,959 Offers me 250 large right out of the blue. 1684 01:06:53,959 --> 01:06:56,751 - What?! - $250,000? 1685 01:06:56,751 --> 01:06:58,376 Yeah, but that's for the whole year. 1686 01:06:58,376 --> 01:06:59,834 That's more than we make. 1687 01:06:59,834 --> 01:07:00,959 Oh, my God! 1688 01:07:00,959 --> 01:07:03,501 Well, I did work as a hostage negotiator in Somalia. 1689 01:07:03,501 --> 01:07:05,584 So maybe I bring a certain amount of life experience 1690 01:07:05,584 --> 01:07:06,584 to the table. 1691 01:07:06,584 --> 01:07:08,793 I mean, come on, guys, didn't you read the bible? 1692 01:07:08,793 --> 01:07:11,668 - We wrote the fucking bible! - We did that. 1693 01:07:11,668 --> 01:07:13,834 Rod, I need you to listen to me very, very carefully. 1694 01:07:13,834 --> 01:07:15,209 It's 'Ricky'. 1695 01:07:15,209 --> 01:07:18,001 Rod! Listen to me, okay? 1696 01:07:18,001 --> 01:07:21,668 There's no way that this ends well. All right? 1697 01:07:21,668 --> 01:07:24,001 You don't even know what we do here. 1698 01:07:24,001 --> 01:07:25,668 It's like business stuff. 1699 01:07:25,668 --> 01:07:27,626 You guys are like... like bookies, right? 1700 01:07:28,543 --> 01:07:29,959 We're not bookies. 1701 01:07:29,959 --> 01:07:32,876 Well, when you boil it down a little bit, there is... 1702 01:07:32,876 --> 01:07:35,501 It's way more complex than that, okay? 1703 01:07:36,168 --> 01:07:38,959 Dean, Erin's in your office. She says it's urgent. 1704 01:07:43,376 --> 01:07:44,376 Hey. 1705 01:07:44,876 --> 01:07:46,584 They hired me! 1706 01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:48,084 - Who? - MFMBC! 1707 01:07:48,084 --> 01:07:50,168 They want me to produce the 'Hero of the Week' segment. 1708 01:07:50,168 --> 01:07:52,418 - MFMBC? - Yes! 1709 01:07:52,418 --> 01:07:53,918 Are you kidding me? What?! 1710 01:07:53,918 --> 01:07:56,876 - Oh, my gosh! Oh. - [Erin squeals and laughs] 1711 01:07:56,876 --> 01:07:59,084 - Oh, I'm so proud of you. - Thank you. 1712 01:07:59,084 --> 01:08:00,876 Didn't I tell you you were going to get your big break? 1713 01:08:00,876 --> 01:08:02,543 - You did, you did. - You got your big break. 1714 01:08:02,543 --> 01:08:04,501 You did. I pushed them the Ricky Stanicky story 1715 01:08:04,501 --> 01:08:05,959 and they loved it. 1716 01:08:05,959 --> 01:08:07,668 The Ricky what? 1717 01:08:07,668 --> 01:08:09,168 The 'Hero of the Week' segment. 1718 01:08:09,168 --> 01:08:11,168 I sent them a proposal about the work Ricky does 1719 01:08:11,168 --> 01:08:13,459 in Africa, in South America and how he works with Bono... 1720 01:08:13,459 --> 01:08:15,376 [audio distorts] ...and helped clean up the oil spill 1721 01:08:15,376 --> 01:08:18,168 in the Chesapeake Bay, and they want me to produce it! 1722 01:08:18,668 --> 01:08:21,001 - Oh! -"Oh"? 1723 01:08:21,709 --> 01:08:23,084 What's wrong with your face? 1724 01:08:23,084 --> 01:08:26,709 This is my happy face. I'm so... I'm happy. 1725 01:08:26,709 --> 01:08:28,918 I'm ha... I'm happy. [coughing] 1726 01:08:28,918 --> 01:08:31,584 Great. Because we got to get him back here now. 1727 01:08:31,584 --> 01:08:33,501 They want me to run it this week. 1728 01:08:33,501 --> 01:08:34,834 Right. 1729 01:08:34,834 --> 01:08:38,334 I don't know if that's going to be... possible. 1730 01:08:38,334 --> 01:08:40,584 I don't... There's just a lot of, uh... 1731 01:08:40,584 --> 01:08:42,751 - [Ricky] More of a canned ham. - A lot of moving... 1732 01:08:42,751 --> 01:08:44,376 - Very close to spam. - [Erin] Ricky? 1733 01:08:44,376 --> 01:08:45,626 Ricky! 1734 01:08:46,751 --> 01:08:47,876 Ricky! 1735 01:08:47,876 --> 01:08:51,001 Man of the Year? Wow! That's so cool! 1736 01:08:51,001 --> 01:08:53,084 It's not man of the year. It's hero of the week. 1737 01:08:53,084 --> 01:08:55,543 And it's not wow. It's a fucking shit show. 1738 01:08:55,543 --> 01:08:56,584 And on top of that, 1739 01:08:56,584 --> 01:08:58,418 the girls are going bowling with him tonight. 1740 01:08:58,418 --> 01:09:00,584 - Do we have to go? - Of course we have to go. 1741 01:09:00,584 --> 01:09:03,376 We're the dipshit's best friends, remember? 1742 01:09:04,209 --> 01:09:06,126 Plus we can't let that fucker out of our sight. 1743 01:09:06,126 --> 01:09:07,626 There's no telling what he'll say. 1744 01:09:07,626 --> 01:09:11,626 You know, on the bright side, it is pretty remarkable that, 1745 01:09:11,626 --> 01:09:14,834 you know, we invented a man who can win an award like this. 1746 01:09:14,834 --> 01:09:16,126 Hey, you think he'll thank us? 1747 01:09:16,126 --> 01:09:18,793 Are you fucking serious right now? 1748 01:09:18,793 --> 01:09:21,293 Wes! You are smoking way too much weed 1749 01:09:21,293 --> 01:09:23,834 if you don't understand how serious this is, okay? 1750 01:09:23,834 --> 01:09:25,959 It's not just about us anymore. 1751 01:09:25,959 --> 01:09:30,043 This could destroy Erin's career. Wake up! 1752 01:09:33,543 --> 01:09:35,043 I don't have a choice. 1753 01:09:35,709 --> 01:09:37,543 - I got to tell her the truth. - No fucking way! 1754 01:09:37,543 --> 01:09:39,293 - I got to. - Dean, no. Dude! 1755 01:09:39,293 --> 01:09:42,084 If you tell Erin, she'll tell Susan. Okay? 1756 01:09:42,084 --> 01:09:43,709 Then what do you think is going to happen? 1757 01:09:43,709 --> 01:09:45,209 Not only did I miss the birth of my son, 1758 01:09:45,209 --> 01:09:47,126 but I let some porno Peter Frampton impersonator 1759 01:09:47,126 --> 01:09:48,918 snip his dick with a cigar cutter. 1760 01:09:48,918 --> 01:09:50,251 No! 1761 01:09:52,459 --> 01:09:53,543 Hey, guys. 1762 01:09:54,418 --> 01:09:55,626 Hey, Karnowski. 1763 01:09:55,626 --> 01:09:57,293 How was the Rebillet show? 1764 01:09:57,293 --> 01:10:00,001 It was great, you piece of shit. Thanks for the tickets. 1765 01:10:00,001 --> 01:10:01,459 Thank you! 1766 01:10:03,626 --> 01:10:05,334 Shitbag! 1767 01:10:07,501 --> 01:10:09,209 He doesn't deserve that. Karnowsk! 1768 01:10:10,793 --> 01:10:12,251 Karnowski! 1769 01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:16,418 - [indistinct chatter] - [up-tempo music plays] 1770 01:10:19,751 --> 01:10:21,626 [Rod] You'll never pick it up. 1771 01:10:24,709 --> 01:10:26,709 I like your form. 1772 01:10:29,376 --> 01:10:32,459 I mean, look at this guy. Not a care in the world. 1773 01:10:32,459 --> 01:10:34,459 If he mentions his salary one more time, 1774 01:10:34,459 --> 01:10:36,209 I'm going to hit him in the fucking head. 1775 01:10:36,209 --> 01:10:37,793 Well, maybe if you gave him more money 1776 01:10:37,793 --> 01:10:39,459 than he's being paid, he'd leave. 1777 01:10:39,459 --> 01:10:42,001 He's getting paid $250,000, Wes. 1778 01:10:42,001 --> 01:10:43,501 Yeah, but that's for the whole year. 1779 01:10:43,501 --> 01:10:44,834 I'll just run to my bank, then. 1780 01:10:44,834 --> 01:10:47,584 We got to figure out a way to get rid of him or we're done. 1781 01:10:47,584 --> 01:10:49,501 Look, maybe you're worried about nothing, right? 1782 01:10:49,501 --> 01:10:51,626 She only has a couple of days to dig up dirt. 1783 01:10:51,626 --> 01:10:54,126 If she doesn't dig up dirt, that's worse. 1784 01:10:54,126 --> 01:10:56,168 Eventually someone's going to find out the truth. 1785 01:10:56,168 --> 01:10:58,251 And then Erin would just be one of those journalists 1786 01:10:58,251 --> 01:11:00,084 that makes up fake stories. 1787 01:11:00,084 --> 01:11:02,418 Yeah, like Mario Lopez. 1788 01:11:03,459 --> 01:11:04,584 Oh. 1789 01:11:04,584 --> 01:11:07,126 Well, look who's hitting it off. 1790 01:11:07,751 --> 01:11:10,334 I thought she was with Gary Polisner. 1791 01:11:10,334 --> 01:11:12,251 Apparently not. 1792 01:11:12,251 --> 01:11:14,626 Hey, look, none of my business, 1793 01:11:14,626 --> 01:11:17,418 but you should think about chopping that off. 1794 01:11:18,001 --> 01:11:19,959 What? A haircut? 1795 01:11:19,959 --> 01:11:23,584 No, I don't know, I mean, I'd be afraid to. 1796 01:11:23,584 --> 01:11:26,584 Why? With a face like yours, you should have a pixie. 1797 01:11:26,584 --> 01:11:28,626 - Really? - Yes! Look at this. 1798 01:11:29,959 --> 01:11:31,251 Okay... 1799 01:11:32,834 --> 01:11:34,209 Maybe not. 1800 01:11:34,918 --> 01:11:36,918 Down to the shoulders, maybe mid back. 1801 01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:39,793 Yeah, I mean, yeah... 1802 01:11:39,793 --> 01:11:43,126 Honestly, I've kind of been wanting to cut it for a while, 1803 01:11:43,126 --> 01:11:45,501 but I just feel like this is like my thing now, 1804 01:11:45,501 --> 01:11:47,126 and everyone says that they love it. 1805 01:11:47,126 --> 01:11:48,584 They're just being nice. 1806 01:11:50,043 --> 01:11:51,709 What, really? 1807 01:11:51,709 --> 01:11:53,209 Oh, yeah. Trust me. 1808 01:11:55,334 --> 01:11:58,001 But why would they lie to me? 1809 01:11:58,001 --> 01:12:01,584 I don't know. People are weird, right? 1810 01:12:02,209 --> 01:12:03,793 Maybe it's hard for them to tell you 1811 01:12:03,793 --> 01:12:05,959 you look like a freaking loon. [chuckles] 1812 01:12:09,793 --> 01:12:12,876 Hey, Carly, whoa. 1813 01:12:12,876 --> 01:12:16,168 Look, I love your hair. All right? 1814 01:12:16,168 --> 01:12:17,584 What I was trying to say was, 1815 01:12:17,584 --> 01:12:19,293 if you want to cut it, you should. 1816 01:12:19,293 --> 01:12:21,584 You shouldn't care about what anybody else thinks. 1817 01:12:22,168 --> 01:12:23,709 Look at you. 1818 01:12:23,709 --> 01:12:27,126 You're smart, you're sweet. 1819 01:12:27,126 --> 01:12:29,251 You got that cute little muskrat face. 1820 01:12:30,084 --> 01:12:32,876 But all anybody can ever see is your insane... 1821 01:12:32,876 --> 01:12:34,751 ...ly beautiful hair. 1822 01:12:36,584 --> 01:12:39,626 Which is like the tenth best thing you got going for you. 1823 01:12:42,376 --> 01:12:44,751 - [crashing] - Agh! Ricky! Ricky! 1824 01:12:45,376 --> 01:12:47,959 Oh, what's happening? Ricky, Ricky, what's happening? 1825 01:12:48,834 --> 01:12:50,834 [people exclaiming] 1826 01:12:54,668 --> 01:12:55,918 What's happen...? Ow! 1827 01:12:57,959 --> 01:13:00,251 Hey! Stop fucking bowling! 1828 01:13:00,251 --> 01:13:02,418 [shouting, commotion] 1829 01:13:03,418 --> 01:13:05,501 [machinery powers down] 1830 01:13:06,709 --> 01:13:08,501 What just happened? 1831 01:13:09,001 --> 01:13:10,876 [Erin] Oh, Carly, that was terrible. 1832 01:13:11,376 --> 01:13:13,459 Moron! He almost took her head off. 1833 01:13:13,459 --> 01:13:15,043 That's it. He's done. 1834 01:13:15,043 --> 01:13:17,209 I'll gladly pay 250, 300, whatever it costs. 1835 01:13:17,209 --> 01:13:19,584 I'll get a loan, sell a kidney. Whatever it takes. 1836 01:13:19,584 --> 01:13:20,626 He's out of here! 1837 01:13:21,793 --> 01:13:23,376 [JT] Wait a minute. 1838 01:13:23,376 --> 01:13:26,251 What if he didn't have a job that paid him 250 grand a year? 1839 01:13:28,126 --> 01:13:30,001 Like, if he got fired. 1840 01:13:31,459 --> 01:13:34,376 [dramatic music] 1841 01:13:35,209 --> 01:13:36,751 [Summerhayes] Let's face facts. 1842 01:13:36,751 --> 01:13:40,293 We need this merger with World River, 1843 01:13:40,293 --> 01:13:42,376 and they seem to be able to take it or leave it. 1844 01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:45,043 Why? Well, I'll tell you why. 1845 01:13:45,043 --> 01:13:47,084 Those folks are from San Francisco 1846 01:13:47,084 --> 01:13:50,001 and we're an old-money New England company. 1847 01:13:50,001 --> 01:13:52,793 They think we're dinosaurs. 1848 01:13:52,793 --> 01:13:54,376 They're looking for new, 1849 01:13:54,376 --> 01:13:56,751 they're looking for progressive. 1850 01:13:56,751 --> 01:13:59,834 So, come on. [claps] Let's hear some ideas. 1851 01:13:59,834 --> 01:14:02,876 Dean, you're point on this. Why don't you get us started? 1852 01:14:02,876 --> 01:14:04,376 Actually, I was thinking that Ricky 1853 01:14:04,376 --> 01:14:06,126 should take point on this today. 1854 01:14:06,126 --> 01:14:08,793 He's our newest employee and he's an 'eco-hero'. 1855 01:14:08,793 --> 01:14:11,584 I like that idea. Ricky, what do you got? 1856 01:14:12,209 --> 01:14:14,459 Well, thank you for the vote of confidence, Dean. 1857 01:14:14,459 --> 01:14:16,001 You should run the meeting, for sure. 1858 01:14:16,001 --> 01:14:17,918 I am just not quite up to speed. 1859 01:14:17,918 --> 01:14:18,959 Well, that makes sense. 1860 01:14:18,959 --> 01:14:20,834 But Ricky's got something big worked out here. 1861 01:14:20,834 --> 01:14:23,959 What'd you call it? Um... game changer, right? 1862 01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:28,209 Game changer. Got to love that. Ricky, what do you got? 1863 01:14:28,209 --> 01:14:29,751 I, um... 1864 01:14:29,751 --> 01:14:31,043 I, er... 1865 01:14:31,043 --> 01:14:35,043 Rick, I have a lunch in 23 minutes. 1866 01:14:36,584 --> 01:14:38,168 Yeah. 1867 01:14:41,001 --> 01:14:42,751 Okay. [clears throat] 1868 01:14:43,543 --> 01:14:44,959 Um... 1869 01:14:45,793 --> 01:14:49,126 My area of expertize is in non-profit humanitarian work. 1870 01:14:49,126 --> 01:14:51,084 In short, I'm a world hugger. 1871 01:14:51,793 --> 01:14:54,626 So, you know, why don't we bring my exciting background 1872 01:14:54,626 --> 01:14:57,751 to the boring-ass world of investment products? 1873 01:14:57,751 --> 01:15:00,084 I mean, you know, ladies and gentlemen, 1874 01:15:00,084 --> 01:15:03,043 does for-profit have to be for profit? 1875 01:15:03,043 --> 01:15:05,501 Well, that's the general idea. 1876 01:15:07,001 --> 01:15:08,084 Correct! 1877 01:15:08,084 --> 01:15:10,543 Ten points to the gentleman in the conservative grey suit. 1878 01:15:11,043 --> 01:15:15,043 Er, could you please elaborate? 1879 01:15:20,834 --> 01:15:22,334 What I was saying... 1880 01:15:23,334 --> 01:15:25,209 ...was, what if we took all the money we made 1881 01:15:25,209 --> 01:15:28,418 and gave it away to poor people and shit? 1882 01:15:29,751 --> 01:15:32,793 I'm not sure I understand that. 1883 01:15:32,793 --> 01:15:35,668 - And shit. - I know I don't. 1884 01:15:35,668 --> 01:15:38,126 Well, think about it. 1885 01:15:38,126 --> 01:15:41,543 If we became, um, like the Paul-Newman-salad-dressing 1886 01:15:41,543 --> 01:15:43,209 of banks, 1887 01:15:43,209 --> 01:15:45,376 the whole world would like us. 1888 01:15:45,376 --> 01:15:48,459 That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 1889 01:15:48,459 --> 01:15:50,001 [executives snickering] 1890 01:15:50,001 --> 01:15:52,001 [Summerhayes] Well, now, wait a minute. 1891 01:15:52,001 --> 01:15:53,834 Read between the lines, Billings. 1892 01:15:53,834 --> 01:15:56,584 This is exactly what I've been talking about. 1893 01:15:56,584 --> 01:15:59,751 Stanicky's saying we got to shake things up. 1894 01:15:59,751 --> 01:16:00,959 Try something different. 1895 01:16:00,959 --> 01:16:02,834 No, that's not what he's saying. He's saying... 1896 01:16:02,834 --> 01:16:04,709 What about that Tom's company? 1897 01:16:04,709 --> 01:16:08,501 Giving away a free pair of shoes for every pair sold. 1898 01:16:08,501 --> 01:16:11,168 I bet that sounded like a stupid idea at first. 1899 01:16:11,168 --> 01:16:13,043 And what are they clearing? 1900 01:16:13,043 --> 01:16:16,251 170 million in revenue last year. 1901 01:16:16,251 --> 01:16:19,251 170 million. That's impressive. 1902 01:16:20,043 --> 01:16:22,043 Now, obviously, we can't give away all our money, 1903 01:16:22,043 --> 01:16:26,793 but we could funnel some of it into philanthropic ventures. 1904 01:16:26,793 --> 01:16:29,418 And there have got to be tax incentives. 1905 01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:32,584 - Yeah! Tax shit. - Yeah. 1906 01:16:32,584 --> 01:16:35,001 We could call it, um... Feel-Good Investing. 1907 01:16:35,001 --> 01:16:37,126 We'll show people we're a company that cares. 1908 01:16:38,043 --> 01:16:42,876 Feel-Good Investing. I like that. Great work, Rick. 1909 01:16:42,876 --> 01:16:44,709 Thanks, Ted. 1910 01:16:44,709 --> 01:16:46,584 [mouths silently] 1911 01:16:47,334 --> 01:16:48,834 What did you say, Ricky? 1912 01:16:49,501 --> 01:16:52,168 Oh... nothing. 1913 01:16:52,168 --> 01:16:54,918 I was just saying "fuck you" to that guy. 1914 01:16:58,418 --> 01:17:00,251 Yeah, fuck you, Billings! 1915 01:17:00,251 --> 01:17:02,293 [laughs] 1916 01:17:02,293 --> 01:17:05,334 [executives chuckling] 1917 01:17:06,209 --> 01:17:07,959 We're just kidding. 1918 01:17:07,959 --> 01:17:09,334 But fuck you, Billings. 1919 01:17:09,334 --> 01:17:11,168 [laughter] 1920 01:17:12,376 --> 01:17:13,959 Here's what we're going to do. 1921 01:17:13,959 --> 01:17:16,418 The World River folks are flying in Wednesday afternoon. 1922 01:17:16,418 --> 01:17:18,376 Wednesday? What? Why Wednesday? 1923 01:17:18,376 --> 01:17:19,543 Because Wednesday night 1924 01:17:19,543 --> 01:17:21,626 we're going to have a little summit over at my club 1925 01:17:21,626 --> 01:17:24,209 and watch Ricky's 'Hero of the Week' segment. 1926 01:17:24,209 --> 01:17:25,626 Clubs ahoy! 1927 01:17:26,918 --> 01:17:28,126 Right. 1928 01:17:28,126 --> 01:17:31,084 Now, I want you to bring your families and your A-games. 1929 01:17:31,084 --> 01:17:33,709 Wednesday, we're going to show these people who we are. 1930 01:17:33,709 --> 01:17:36,709 We're modern, we're fun, we're socially conscious, 1931 01:17:36,709 --> 01:17:39,668 and we're American heroes. 1932 01:17:41,959 --> 01:17:43,626 - What is happening right now? - I don't know. 1933 01:17:43,626 --> 01:17:45,793 I feel like Jason Bateman in every episode of 'Ozark'. 1934 01:17:46,418 --> 01:17:49,001 Hey, boss-man? Er, got a minute? 1935 01:17:49,001 --> 01:17:50,501 Sure! 1936 01:17:55,084 --> 01:17:57,209 Dean! JT! What it do? 1937 01:17:57,209 --> 01:17:59,584 What the...? What are you doing here? 1938 01:17:59,584 --> 01:18:01,043 Ricky hired me. 1939 01:18:01,918 --> 01:18:03,626 - To do what? - I don't know. 1940 01:18:03,626 --> 01:18:05,168 Help him out with stuff, I guess. 1941 01:18:05,168 --> 01:18:07,209 Yes, I think young Wesley shows great promise 1942 01:18:07,209 --> 01:18:08,418 as my attaché. 1943 01:18:08,418 --> 01:18:10,501 - Who's your attaché, Dean? - I don't have an attaché. 1944 01:18:10,501 --> 01:18:11,751 I'm not a foreign diplomat. 1945 01:18:11,751 --> 01:18:14,043 Listen, you and me need to have a chat. 1946 01:18:14,043 --> 01:18:16,168 Okay, but before we do, I want to show you something. 1947 01:18:16,168 --> 01:18:17,251 [exasperated sigh] 1948 01:18:21,459 --> 01:18:23,876 First, thank you for having faith 1949 01:18:23,876 --> 01:18:25,418 and believing in me today. 1950 01:18:25,418 --> 01:18:27,501 I never would've come up with those ideas in the meeting 1951 01:18:27,501 --> 01:18:28,918 if you hadn't thrown me into the fire. 1952 01:18:28,918 --> 01:18:30,209 Happy to do it, man. 1953 01:18:30,209 --> 01:18:32,626 I think I figured out what the problem is. 1954 01:18:33,501 --> 01:18:34,751 What problem? 1955 01:18:34,751 --> 01:18:37,251 The whole 'not getting the merger' thingy problem. 1956 01:18:37,251 --> 01:18:38,501 You went to one staff meeting 1957 01:18:38,501 --> 01:18:40,168 and you've got the whole company figured out? 1958 01:18:40,168 --> 01:18:42,751 So I filmed this on my phone in the staff meeting this morning 1959 01:18:42,751 --> 01:18:44,293 and my attaché put it on the computer. 1960 01:18:44,293 --> 01:18:46,126 So, check it out. 1961 01:18:46,126 --> 01:18:48,751 - ...San Francisco and we... - [Rod] See? 1962 01:18:48,751 --> 01:18:50,834 - ...old-money New England... - You see? 1963 01:18:50,834 --> 01:18:53,584 - They're looking for... - See what? 1964 01:18:53,584 --> 01:18:55,543 The guy's a world-class air-dicker. 1965 01:18:55,543 --> 01:18:57,709 An air what-er? What are you talking about? 1966 01:18:57,709 --> 01:18:59,251 Keep watching. 1967 01:18:59,251 --> 01:19:00,876 Every time he tries to make a point, 1968 01:19:00,876 --> 01:19:03,626 it's like he puts an invisible penis in his mouth. 1969 01:19:03,626 --> 01:19:05,793 Remember when Obama used to power knuckle 1970 01:19:05,793 --> 01:19:06,918 to try to make that point? 1971 01:19:06,918 --> 01:19:08,584 Well, Summerhayes does the same thing, 1972 01:19:08,584 --> 01:19:10,668 but when he does it, it's like he's smoking invisible dongs. 1973 01:19:10,668 --> 01:19:13,751 Oh, my God, he is an air-dicker. 1974 01:19:13,751 --> 01:19:15,126 There's a time and a place for it, 1975 01:19:15,126 --> 01:19:16,751 but it's really hard to get away with it 1976 01:19:16,751 --> 01:19:18,043 in a business setting. 1977 01:19:19,001 --> 01:19:21,418 Yo, let's make a TikTok out of this! 1978 01:19:21,418 --> 01:19:22,834 [Rod chuckles] 1979 01:19:22,834 --> 01:19:25,668 What do you guys think? Should I tell him? 1980 01:19:25,668 --> 01:19:27,209 Tell him what? 1981 01:19:27,709 --> 01:19:29,709 That he's a world-class air-dicker. 1982 01:19:32,334 --> 01:19:34,418 - Absolutely. - Yeah, you should. 1983 01:19:35,084 --> 01:19:39,293 [quirky music] 1984 01:19:47,043 --> 01:19:48,543 How could you work for him, dude? 1985 01:19:48,543 --> 01:19:50,251 We don't need you exploring career opportunities 1986 01:19:50,251 --> 01:19:51,668 when he's trying to ruin our lives. 1987 01:19:51,668 --> 01:19:53,501 First of all, he's not ruining my life. 1988 01:19:53,501 --> 01:19:55,501 He hired me 'cause he actually gives a shit. 1989 01:19:55,501 --> 01:19:57,168 If I didn't get off my ass and get a job, 1990 01:19:57,168 --> 01:19:58,668 Keith was going to dump me. 1991 01:19:58,668 --> 01:20:00,668 By the way, I noticed that my so-called real friends 1992 01:20:00,668 --> 01:20:02,043 never offered me a job. 1993 01:20:02,043 --> 01:20:04,543 [Summerhayes yelling] Are you fucking shitting me?! 1994 01:20:08,709 --> 01:20:10,334 You two! 1995 01:20:10,334 --> 01:20:12,334 In here, now! 1996 01:20:19,043 --> 01:20:20,668 Come in, sit down. 1997 01:20:23,126 --> 01:20:25,084 Show them what you showed me. 1998 01:20:25,751 --> 01:20:27,459 I already did, Ted. 1999 01:20:29,001 --> 01:20:31,459 You knew about this and you never said anything? 2000 01:20:32,543 --> 01:20:33,876 Well, we just thought it was... 2001 01:20:33,876 --> 01:20:36,668 It's just a mannerism. It's really not that big of a deal. 2002 01:20:36,668 --> 01:20:38,251 Especially in this day and age. 2003 01:20:38,251 --> 01:20:39,793 I know it's not a big deal! 2004 01:20:39,793 --> 01:20:41,959 Two of my sons are gay, for Christ's sake! 2005 01:20:41,959 --> 01:20:44,668 And the third one's just... working it out. 2006 01:20:44,668 --> 01:20:48,168 But I can't go into meetings like this. 2007 01:20:48,168 --> 01:20:51,001 No wonder they're not interested in the merger. 2008 01:20:51,001 --> 01:20:52,418 They're so flippin' distracted, 2009 01:20:52,418 --> 01:20:54,251 they haven't heard a word I've said. 2010 01:20:54,251 --> 01:20:57,959 We don't know that you've been doing this everywhere. I... 2011 01:20:57,959 --> 01:21:00,334 As far as we know, you just did it in today's meeting. 2012 01:21:00,334 --> 01:21:01,543 I'd never seen it before. 2013 01:21:02,418 --> 01:21:04,043 - Really? - [door opens] 2014 01:21:04,043 --> 01:21:05,876 I've got the conference link. 2015 01:21:05,876 --> 01:21:06,918 [TV blips] 2016 01:21:07,834 --> 01:21:11,209 This merger will allow us 2017 01:21:11,209 --> 01:21:15,376 to further enhance our capital efficiencies. 2018 01:21:15,876 --> 01:21:17,168 - Look at you. - Oh, God... 2019 01:21:17,168 --> 01:21:18,668 Air-dicking left and right. 2020 01:21:18,668 --> 01:21:22,293 There are companies out there who want to get bigger. 2021 01:21:22,293 --> 01:21:25,334 There are companies out there who want to get smaller. 2022 01:21:25,334 --> 01:21:27,293 You just air-dicked four times in ten seconds. 2023 01:21:27,293 --> 01:21:28,793 Oh, dear God, it's true. 2024 01:21:28,793 --> 01:21:33,876 On the other hand, to support everything we do... 2025 01:21:33,876 --> 01:21:37,043 Oh, God! Now it looks like I'm cupping the balls. 2026 01:21:37,043 --> 01:21:40,043 ...with knowledge and planning. 2027 01:21:40,043 --> 01:21:41,834 [Summerhayes] Oh! 2028 01:21:41,834 --> 01:21:44,084 Hey, you're double-dongin' it. 2029 01:21:44,084 --> 01:21:47,543 ...is the company that can do both. 2030 01:21:48,084 --> 01:21:49,918 Oh, God. Get it... Turn it off. 2031 01:21:49,918 --> 01:21:51,459 - Some people say... - [TV blips] 2032 01:21:54,543 --> 01:21:57,043 Okay, from this point forward 2033 01:21:57,043 --> 01:21:59,126 Stanicky is in charge of the merger. 2034 01:21:59,126 --> 01:22:01,334 What? Ted, come on. 2035 01:22:01,334 --> 01:22:03,043 I've been running point on this for nine months. 2036 01:22:03,043 --> 01:22:05,918 Yeah, and look where it's gotten us. 2037 01:22:05,918 --> 01:22:07,959 He's been here one day and... 2038 01:22:07,959 --> 01:22:10,376 - Watch the air-dicking, Ted. - Jesus...! [mutters] 2039 01:22:11,793 --> 01:22:13,293 Here's the bottom line. 2040 01:22:13,876 --> 01:22:15,876 Stanicky gives it to me straight, 2041 01:22:15,876 --> 01:22:17,709 whether the news is good or bad. 2042 01:22:17,709 --> 01:22:20,793 He's in charge. End of discussion. 2043 01:22:24,334 --> 01:22:28,293 Oh, Jesus. Okay, just make it go away. Just... 2044 01:22:28,293 --> 01:22:30,043 - Yep. - Go to black. 2045 01:22:30,043 --> 01:22:31,543 - Oh, er... - Just go to black. 2046 01:22:31,543 --> 01:22:33,918 [Philip] Yeah, I'm pressing it but it's not... 2047 01:22:33,918 --> 01:22:35,293 - Give it to me. - Yeah, try... 2048 01:22:35,293 --> 01:22:36,668 I don't know how to work this thing. 2049 01:22:36,668 --> 01:22:38,709 - No, I know. - Is there an IT guy? 2050 01:22:38,709 --> 01:22:40,668 - That's me. - Argh, fuck! 2051 01:22:42,459 --> 01:22:44,876 Oh, Dean... [exhales heavily] 2052 01:22:44,876 --> 01:22:46,584 Despite what Ted said back there, 2053 01:22:46,584 --> 01:22:47,751 about me being in charge, 2054 01:22:47,751 --> 01:22:49,959 I don't pretend to know more about this company than you. 2055 01:22:49,959 --> 01:22:51,876 Well, I pretend to know more than you, 2056 01:22:51,876 --> 01:22:53,459 but you are clearly 2057 01:22:53,459 --> 01:22:55,376 more informed in company matters than me 2058 01:22:55,376 --> 01:22:58,418 and right now I need your expertize. 2059 01:23:00,793 --> 01:23:02,209 What? 2060 01:23:02,209 --> 01:23:04,209 I don't want to forget this. Okay... 2061 01:23:05,293 --> 01:23:06,584 [cell phone beeping] 2062 01:23:07,418 --> 01:23:09,543 How big of a raise should I be asking for? 2063 01:23:11,543 --> 01:23:13,918 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 2064 01:23:14,876 --> 01:23:16,084 [Rod whimpering] 2065 01:23:16,084 --> 01:23:18,043 You're quitting! Today! 2066 01:23:18,793 --> 01:23:20,668 - What are you talking about? - Show's over, Rod. 2067 01:23:20,668 --> 01:23:21,793 It's Ricky. 2068 01:23:21,793 --> 01:23:25,251 It's not Ricky, okay? Get it through your head, man. 2069 01:23:25,251 --> 01:23:27,084 Ricky Stanicky isn't real. 2070 01:23:27,084 --> 01:23:29,126 Yes, he is. Here. 2071 01:23:34,334 --> 01:23:38,209 Richard Barbara Stanicky? 2072 01:23:38,209 --> 01:23:40,168 That's my grandmother's name. 2073 01:23:40,168 --> 01:23:42,043 Where the fuck did you get this? 2074 01:23:44,501 --> 01:23:46,668 Officially changed my name. 2075 01:23:46,668 --> 01:23:49,293 Paid to expedite it online. They overnighted it. 2076 01:23:49,959 --> 01:23:51,459 Oh, my God. 2077 01:23:51,459 --> 01:23:53,584 Come on, Dean. See this from my side. 2078 01:23:53,584 --> 01:23:55,834 This is the role I was born to play and I'm nailing it. 2079 01:23:55,834 --> 01:23:59,334 No, you were hired under false pretences. 2080 01:23:59,334 --> 01:24:00,709 You lied to them. 2081 01:24:00,709 --> 01:24:02,168 No, as I recall, Dean, you lied to them. 2082 01:24:02,168 --> 01:24:04,668 Oh, ha, ha, ha. You got me there. [claps] 2083 01:24:04,668 --> 01:24:06,168 But you know what? This is different. 2084 01:24:06,168 --> 01:24:07,709 You're putting people's careers at risk. 2085 01:24:07,709 --> 01:24:09,251 Careers? 2086 01:24:09,251 --> 01:24:11,668 I've been here two days and I'm your boss. 2087 01:24:11,668 --> 01:24:13,834 I'm talking about Erin's career! 2088 01:24:13,834 --> 01:24:16,293 You can fool Summerhayes with this righteous shit. 2089 01:24:16,293 --> 01:24:18,876 But I know who you really are. 2090 01:24:19,459 --> 01:24:22,793 You're Rock Hard Rod! The drunk. 2091 01:24:26,543 --> 01:24:28,043 Yeah. [sniffles] 2092 01:24:30,251 --> 01:24:31,876 I was a drunk. 2093 01:24:32,876 --> 01:24:35,501 Nobody respected me. My job sucked. I had no friends. 2094 01:24:36,418 --> 01:24:38,043 But now I have all those things. 2095 01:24:38,043 --> 01:24:40,709 And I'm sober. All right? 2096 01:24:41,959 --> 01:24:44,001 And if I leave here, it all goes away. 2097 01:24:48,043 --> 01:24:52,793 My whole life, all I've ever been is a shit baby. 2098 01:24:54,043 --> 01:24:55,959 [poignant music] 2099 01:24:55,959 --> 01:24:59,959 And now I get to be somebody people actually like. 2100 01:25:03,376 --> 01:25:05,543 Don't take that away from me, man. Please. 2101 01:25:13,418 --> 01:25:17,376 Look, this has to end. 2102 01:25:23,251 --> 01:25:25,543 - [crashing] - [grunting] 2103 01:25:25,543 --> 01:25:28,126 What the fuck are you doing? Stop! Stop! Hey, hey! 2104 01:25:28,126 --> 01:25:29,876 - [slapping] - Argh! Hey, okay! 2105 01:25:29,876 --> 01:25:32,418 If I go back, they'll kill me. If I go back, they'll kill me. 2106 01:25:32,418 --> 01:25:33,626 What?! 2107 01:25:33,626 --> 01:25:35,459 If I go back to Atlantic City, they'll kill me. 2108 01:25:35,459 --> 01:25:37,168 - Who? - The Sasquatch 2109 01:25:37,168 --> 01:25:38,918 and his Joe Pesce buddy from the casino. 2110 01:25:38,918 --> 01:25:40,418 I told you they were crazy fans. 2111 01:25:40,418 --> 01:25:42,626 They're crazy. They're not fans. 2112 01:25:43,626 --> 01:25:46,043 Why? What did you do? 2113 01:25:46,043 --> 01:25:47,918 I don't know. 2114 01:25:47,918 --> 01:25:50,376 I used to drink and black out, it could be anything. 2115 01:25:51,501 --> 01:25:53,001 One day I woke up after a five-day bender, 2116 01:25:53,001 --> 01:25:54,251 I was a manager of an Arby's. 2117 01:25:55,334 --> 01:25:57,834 Plus, I owe a lot of bad people a lot of money. 2118 01:25:59,626 --> 01:26:00,834 [scoffs lightly] 2119 01:26:04,376 --> 01:26:05,959 You were right, man. 2120 01:26:06,959 --> 01:26:08,501 It's my fault. 2121 01:26:10,876 --> 01:26:12,543 It's... it's my fault. 2122 01:26:15,876 --> 01:26:17,959 Wow. 2123 01:26:17,959 --> 01:26:19,501 I had everything. 2124 01:26:20,293 --> 01:26:23,126 I had good friends. I had a great job. 2125 01:26:24,584 --> 01:26:26,751 The most kind-hearted, 2126 01:26:26,751 --> 01:26:29,251 beautiful person in the whole world loved me. 2127 01:26:30,251 --> 01:26:31,626 [sighs heavily] 2128 01:26:31,626 --> 01:26:33,876 Erin's the best thing that ever happened to me. 2129 01:26:35,543 --> 01:26:37,251 I'm going to lose it all. 2130 01:26:39,251 --> 01:26:42,251 [door opens and closes] 2131 01:26:42,251 --> 01:26:44,459 ♪ She gave you flowers ♪ 2132 01:26:44,459 --> 01:26:47,084 ♪ She gave you Pretty melodies... ♪ 2133 01:26:49,084 --> 01:26:51,251 I'll never understand why you don't just tell her the truth. 2134 01:26:52,793 --> 01:26:54,543 I think it's a little late for that, Wes. 2135 01:26:56,501 --> 01:26:57,959 No, it's not. 2136 01:26:58,876 --> 01:27:01,293 [TV reporter] That was Steve Smith in Washington. 2137 01:27:01,293 --> 01:27:02,959 And tomorrow night at 7 p.m. 2138 01:27:02,959 --> 01:27:05,959 we present our Hero of the Week. 2139 01:27:10,293 --> 01:27:14,043 Seconds on steak fries? Uh, yeah! 2140 01:27:14,043 --> 01:27:16,293 [up-tempo jingle plays] 2141 01:27:16,293 --> 01:27:18,001 [announcer] Visit your local Red Robin 2142 01:27:18,001 --> 01:27:20,918 to try our new bottomless steak fries. 2143 01:27:21,751 --> 01:27:22,834 I swear to God, man, 2144 01:27:22,834 --> 01:27:24,668 Stanicky's like one of those trick birthday candles - 2145 01:27:24,668 --> 01:27:26,668 no matter how hard I try to blow him out, 2146 01:27:26,668 --> 01:27:27,876 he just keeps coming back. 2147 01:27:32,584 --> 01:27:34,251 Dean, I love you like a brother, 2148 01:27:34,251 --> 01:27:36,251 but you got one major flaw. 2149 01:27:36,251 --> 01:27:37,709 Hmm? 2150 01:27:37,709 --> 01:27:39,084 You lie too much. 2151 01:27:40,751 --> 01:27:42,543 I lie too much? 2152 01:27:42,543 --> 01:27:44,251 What the...? 2153 01:27:44,251 --> 01:27:45,834 You lie just as much as me. 2154 01:27:45,834 --> 01:27:47,459 Only 'cause you make me. 2155 01:27:48,084 --> 01:27:49,959 I've been trying to tell the truth on this one 2156 01:27:49,959 --> 01:27:51,084 from the beginning, 2157 01:27:51,084 --> 01:27:52,334 but you said no. 2158 01:27:52,334 --> 01:27:53,876 Because I was looking out for JT. 2159 01:27:53,876 --> 01:27:55,126 I didn't want JT to get in trouble. 2160 01:27:55,126 --> 01:27:58,084 Dude, this has nothing to do with JT. 2161 01:27:59,168 --> 01:28:01,043 This has everything to do with you. 2162 01:28:02,501 --> 01:28:05,543 Do you realize that Rod had a fake life and he made it real? 2163 01:28:05,543 --> 01:28:07,501 You had a real life and you made it fake. 2164 01:28:10,918 --> 01:28:13,293 Fuck this, man. I don't need this shit. 2165 01:28:14,293 --> 01:28:16,001 You're not making anything better. 2166 01:28:16,001 --> 01:28:17,834 Yo, I know you ain't fall in no ditch. 2167 01:28:20,209 --> 01:28:21,418 What? 2168 01:28:21,418 --> 01:28:24,751 I know you didn't fall in a ditch, that one Halloween. 2169 01:28:25,334 --> 01:28:26,918 When you broke your arm. 2170 01:28:27,418 --> 01:28:29,251 After we egged that house, 2171 01:28:29,251 --> 01:28:31,043 and we all split in different directions, 2172 01:28:31,043 --> 01:28:33,501 I went back to your place to see if you was there, 2173 01:28:33,501 --> 01:28:35,251 and you were. 2174 01:28:36,168 --> 01:28:37,251 And I heard him. 2175 01:28:40,043 --> 01:28:42,251 I heard what he did to you. 2176 01:28:43,918 --> 01:28:46,126 That was an accident. He was drunk. 2177 01:28:46,126 --> 01:28:48,751 See, there you go again. You're lying. 2178 01:28:49,459 --> 01:28:53,001 Dude, I understand you grew up in a fucked-up house 2179 01:28:53,001 --> 01:28:55,168 and you had a fucked-up father, 2180 01:28:55,168 --> 01:28:57,543 and that's why you slept over at me and JT's house, 2181 01:28:57,543 --> 01:28:59,251 and that's probably why you started a lie. 2182 01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:00,459 To protect yourself. 2183 01:29:00,459 --> 01:29:02,793 But you're not that boy anymore, 2184 01:29:02,793 --> 01:29:04,293 and you're letting this shitty stuff 2185 01:29:04,293 --> 01:29:06,043 turn you into a shitty person, and that's not you. 2186 01:29:07,543 --> 01:29:09,501 If you just tell Erin the truth, 2187 01:29:09,501 --> 01:29:11,418 she won't hurt you. 2188 01:29:17,501 --> 01:29:21,251 [slow mellow music] 2189 01:29:35,459 --> 01:29:37,459 [car accelerating] 2190 01:29:37,459 --> 01:29:39,918 ["Paint a Lady" by Susan Christie plays] 2191 01:29:39,918 --> 01:29:44,918 ♪ Night has fallen quickly On the carnival in town ♪ 2192 01:29:45,543 --> 01:29:48,001 ♪ The cotton candy maker ♪ 2193 01:29:48,001 --> 01:29:51,501 ♪ Is the last To leave the ground ♪ 2194 01:29:51,501 --> 01:29:54,043 ♪ Shuts his tiny wagon ♪ 2195 01:29:54,043 --> 01:29:57,376 ♪ And goes to A room somewhere ♪ 2196 01:29:57,376 --> 01:30:00,084 ♪ His life's Like cotton candy ♪ 2197 01:30:00,084 --> 01:30:03,751 ♪ An illusion Not much there... ♪ 2198 01:30:05,418 --> 01:30:07,834 Hey. Where were you? 2199 01:30:08,668 --> 01:30:10,584 I was worried about you. 2200 01:30:13,584 --> 01:30:15,376 I tried to call you. 2201 01:30:18,543 --> 01:30:20,751 Listen, Erin... 2202 01:30:22,501 --> 01:30:24,376 ...you can't let them run your story. 2203 01:30:24,376 --> 01:30:26,459 Yeah, well, it's a little too late for that. 2204 01:30:26,459 --> 01:30:28,334 No, you don't understand. 2205 01:30:29,209 --> 01:30:32,084 Is there a way that you can postpone it or pre-empt it? 2206 01:30:32,084 --> 01:30:34,126 Is that what they say in your business? 'Pre-empt'? 2207 01:30:34,126 --> 01:30:35,626 'Cause there's a lot of things 2208 01:30:35,626 --> 01:30:37,084 that you need to know about Ricky. 2209 01:30:37,084 --> 01:30:38,709 You mean Rock Hard Rod? 2210 01:30:40,543 --> 01:30:42,251 Don't look so surprised, Dean. 2211 01:30:43,043 --> 01:30:45,834 I'm a good reporter, you said so yourself, remember? 2212 01:30:46,918 --> 01:30:48,168 Yeah, I know you are. 2213 01:30:48,168 --> 01:30:49,918 I figured it out at the bris. 2214 01:30:52,668 --> 01:30:54,834 Nairobi? 2215 01:30:54,834 --> 01:30:59,126 You said he had to fly back to help fight Ebola, 2216 01:30:59,126 --> 01:31:01,959 but there hasn't been an Ebola case 2217 01:31:01,959 --> 01:31:03,501 anywhere in the last four years 2218 01:31:03,501 --> 01:31:05,626 and definitely never in Nairobi. 2219 01:31:05,626 --> 01:31:07,168 They actually have a vaccine now. 2220 01:31:09,418 --> 01:31:10,459 That's good. 2221 01:31:10,959 --> 01:31:13,418 Ricky showed me your bible. 2222 01:31:14,334 --> 01:31:15,793 It's pathetic. 2223 01:31:16,459 --> 01:31:18,126 You guys lied so you could 2224 01:31:18,126 --> 01:31:20,209 go to the Little League World Series, 2225 01:31:20,209 --> 01:31:22,751 the Lebowski Fest, a tiny train museum. 2226 01:31:24,793 --> 01:31:26,251 Wes likes trains. 2227 01:31:26,251 --> 01:31:28,084 You went to Dollywood, twice! 2228 01:31:28,709 --> 01:31:31,376 Why didn't you take me with you? I love Dolly Parton. 2229 01:31:31,918 --> 01:31:33,709 I'm sorry. I didn't know that. 2230 01:31:33,709 --> 01:31:36,376 What bothers me more than the lies 2231 01:31:36,376 --> 01:31:39,376 is why you told them in the first place. 2232 01:31:41,668 --> 01:31:43,834 You were running from me. 2233 01:31:44,959 --> 01:31:46,293 From us. 2234 01:31:46,293 --> 01:31:48,418 No. No, that's not true. 2235 01:31:48,418 --> 01:31:51,834 Well, it doesn't matter anymore, Dean. 2236 01:31:53,043 --> 01:31:54,918 It's too late. 2237 01:31:59,168 --> 01:32:02,251 [soft pensive music] 2238 01:32:13,376 --> 01:32:15,043 [Wes] I just want this day to be over. 2239 01:32:15,043 --> 01:32:16,751 Me too. 2240 01:32:16,751 --> 01:32:19,793 What if he chickened out? What if he's going to bail on us? 2241 01:32:19,793 --> 01:32:21,209 Where is Dean? 2242 01:32:21,209 --> 01:32:23,959 He's, uh, on his... He'll be here any minute. 2243 01:32:23,959 --> 01:32:25,501 And where is Ricky? 2244 01:32:25,501 --> 01:32:27,251 The World River execs want to meet him. 2245 01:32:27,251 --> 01:32:31,084 Also on his way. His attaché is here, so... 2246 01:32:32,001 --> 01:32:33,334 Hi. 2247 01:32:34,709 --> 01:32:37,418 [gentle classical music plays] 2248 01:32:37,418 --> 01:32:39,043 [Summerhayes] So, where were we? 2249 01:32:41,918 --> 01:32:44,834 [downbeat music] 2250 01:32:47,209 --> 01:32:49,334 [sighing] 2251 01:33:00,751 --> 01:33:02,126 [JT] Hey! 2252 01:33:02,751 --> 01:33:04,251 Where the hell have you been? 2253 01:33:04,251 --> 01:33:05,501 The show starts in three minutes. 2254 01:33:05,501 --> 01:33:07,126 Summerhayes wants Ricky to introduce it. 2255 01:33:07,126 --> 01:33:08,709 - Where is this guy? - There's no show. 2256 01:33:08,709 --> 01:33:10,168 What? 2257 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:12,709 Ricky was never going to be Hero of the Week. 2258 01:33:13,251 --> 01:33:15,001 Erin knew all along. 2259 01:33:15,001 --> 01:33:16,084 Knew what? 2260 01:33:16,084 --> 01:33:18,793 That Ricky was a fake. She figured it out at the bris. 2261 01:33:18,793 --> 01:33:20,834 So she was lying to us? 2262 01:33:20,834 --> 01:33:22,751 Well, that's pretty fuckin' low. 2263 01:33:23,334 --> 01:33:25,084 Are you an idiot? 2264 01:33:26,293 --> 01:33:28,126 What are we going to tell Summerhayes? 2265 01:33:29,626 --> 01:33:30,751 The truth. 2266 01:33:30,751 --> 01:33:33,251 Dean, come on. Don't do that. Dean! 2267 01:33:34,709 --> 01:33:36,334 [Summerhayes] Good evening, everyone. 2268 01:33:36,334 --> 01:33:38,834 Thank you all for coming out. Thank you. 2269 01:33:38,834 --> 01:33:40,918 - [applause] - Thank you. 2270 01:33:40,918 --> 01:33:44,793 I see a lot of old friends out here tonight, 2271 01:33:44,793 --> 01:33:46,293 and a lot of new friends. 2272 01:33:46,293 --> 01:33:49,501 And I see two great companies 2273 01:33:49,501 --> 01:33:50,834 that can... 2274 01:33:50,834 --> 01:33:54,293 ...can, uh, do wonderful things. 2275 01:33:54,293 --> 01:33:57,043 I was hoping that the man of the hour, Ricky Stanicky, 2276 01:33:57,043 --> 01:34:01,251 would be here to introduce this MFMBC Heroes segment. 2277 01:34:01,251 --> 01:34:04,418 - Ted, can I say something? - Yes, absolutely. Yes, please. 2278 01:34:04,418 --> 01:34:05,626 Dean Stanton, 2279 01:34:05,626 --> 01:34:07,543 our Vice President of Investor Relations. 2280 01:34:07,543 --> 01:34:08,626 Dean. 2281 01:34:08,626 --> 01:34:11,626 [applause] 2282 01:34:21,334 --> 01:34:22,876 Um... 2283 01:34:23,668 --> 01:34:26,709 Unfortunately, MFMBC has decided 2284 01:34:26,709 --> 01:34:29,626 not to profile Ricky Stanicky as a hero. 2285 01:34:29,626 --> 01:34:32,084 - Ha... - [guests whispering] 2286 01:34:32,084 --> 01:34:34,084 The reason being... 2287 01:34:35,293 --> 01:34:37,418 ...that Ricky Stanicky's not a hero. 2288 01:34:39,918 --> 01:34:42,084 He's not even a real person. 2289 01:34:45,251 --> 01:34:47,251 I made him up. 2290 01:34:47,251 --> 01:34:49,459 Motherfucker! 2291 01:34:49,459 --> 01:34:51,793 [guests murmuring] 2292 01:34:54,584 --> 01:34:56,334 I lied to all of you. 2293 01:34:58,168 --> 01:35:00,334 And I have no excuses. 2294 01:35:03,709 --> 01:35:05,209 I'm sorry, Ted. 2295 01:35:06,084 --> 01:35:08,084 You don't deserve this. 2296 01:35:09,876 --> 01:35:11,501 I'd also like to apologize to everyone 2297 01:35:11,501 --> 01:35:13,959 who came out here from San Francisco. 2298 01:35:15,251 --> 01:35:18,126 Summerhayes Financial is an excellent company. 2299 01:35:19,334 --> 01:35:21,001 Please don't let my actions destroy 2300 01:35:21,001 --> 01:35:23,418 what could be a great partnership. 2301 01:35:28,418 --> 01:35:30,293 [guests murmuring] 2302 01:35:31,251 --> 01:35:33,001 What the fuck did he just say? 2303 01:35:33,501 --> 01:35:35,209 [whispers] I don't know what to do. 2304 01:35:35,209 --> 01:35:36,293 [Leona] I told you... 2305 01:35:36,293 --> 01:35:38,209 [Susan] Where is that pumpkin-headed piece of shit? 2306 01:35:38,793 --> 01:35:40,584 I don't get it. 2307 01:35:40,584 --> 01:35:42,084 If the show wasn't for real, 2308 01:35:42,084 --> 01:35:43,709 then why'd the news crew come in? 2309 01:35:45,376 --> 01:35:47,959 - What news crew? - Yesterday. 2310 01:35:47,959 --> 01:35:49,334 While you were at lunch, 2311 01:35:49,334 --> 01:35:50,959 this crew came in and interviewed Ricky. 2312 01:35:50,959 --> 01:35:52,668 I helped set the whole thing up. 2313 01:36:01,001 --> 01:36:04,376 Dean, don't worry about cleaning out your office. 2314 01:36:04,376 --> 01:36:06,626 We'll box it up for ya... 2315 01:36:06,626 --> 01:36:08,168 and then burn it. 2316 01:36:08,668 --> 01:36:11,834 [indistinct arguing] 2317 01:36:11,834 --> 01:36:13,709 [Stan Grant] I'm standing outside the offices 2318 01:36:13,709 --> 01:36:15,293 of Summerhayes Financial, 2319 01:36:15,293 --> 01:36:16,543 an esteemed institution 2320 01:36:16,543 --> 01:36:19,168 in downtown Providence, Rhode Island. 2321 01:36:19,168 --> 01:36:22,668 And that is Richard Barbara Stanicky. 2322 01:36:22,668 --> 01:36:24,543 Think of us as the bookies and you're the gambler. 2323 01:36:24,543 --> 01:36:27,293 We're the nice bookies, not the throw-you-off-the bridge type. 2324 01:36:27,293 --> 01:36:29,376 [Stan Grant] After several years helping the less... 2325 01:36:29,376 --> 01:36:31,168 Why the hell is this still on?! 2326 01:36:31,168 --> 01:36:33,251 [Stan Grant] ...charity, he's now the newest 2327 01:36:33,251 --> 01:36:35,918 and one of the most highly paid executives 2328 01:36:35,918 --> 01:36:37,793 at Summerhayes Financial. 2329 01:36:38,709 --> 01:36:40,209 Where's the AV guy? 2330 01:36:40,209 --> 01:36:43,209 - Oh, that's me. - I thought you were the IT guy. 2331 01:36:43,209 --> 01:36:44,626 I'm both. 2332 01:36:44,626 --> 01:36:45,709 [remote buzzes] 2333 01:36:45,709 --> 01:36:47,584 [Stan Grant] But there's something you should know 2334 01:36:47,584 --> 01:36:49,626 about this highly successful executive. 2335 01:36:50,293 --> 01:36:51,959 He's a complete fraud. 2336 01:36:51,959 --> 01:36:54,043 I'm Ted Summerhayes... 2337 01:36:54,043 --> 01:36:55,209 [Stan Grant] That's right. 2338 01:36:55,209 --> 01:36:57,834 Ricky Stanicky is actually Rodney Rimestead, 2339 01:36:57,834 --> 01:37:00,293 a pornographic rock'n'roll impersonator 2340 01:37:00,293 --> 01:37:02,459 from Atlantic City, New Jersey, 2341 01:37:02,459 --> 01:37:06,293 who goes by the name of Rock Hard Rod. 2342 01:37:06,293 --> 01:37:10,584 We caught up with Mr. Rimestead to find out how he came to be 2343 01:37:10,584 --> 01:37:13,043 the businessman 'Ricky Stanicky'. 2344 01:37:13,043 --> 01:37:16,626 I was hanging around a casino bar in Atlantic City. 2345 01:37:16,626 --> 01:37:19,918 No money, no friends, no respect. 2346 01:37:19,918 --> 01:37:21,543 I was an alcoholic. 2347 01:37:22,126 --> 01:37:24,709 I am... I am an alcoholic. 2348 01:37:25,709 --> 01:37:27,959 And I was doing whatever I could to get by. 2349 01:37:28,459 --> 01:37:33,126 ♪ Cum a, cum a, cum a Come in my sock again ♪ 2350 01:37:33,126 --> 01:37:35,626 ♪ It's filled with loads ♪ 2351 01:37:35,626 --> 01:37:36,668 Oh, God. 2352 01:37:36,668 --> 01:37:38,918 ♪ It's filled with loads... ♪ 2353 01:37:38,918 --> 01:37:42,501 And that night, I met Dean Stanton and his friends. 2354 01:37:43,459 --> 01:37:45,709 They bought me food, drink. 2355 01:37:46,376 --> 01:37:48,876 They asked me who I was, they really seemed to care. 2356 01:37:48,876 --> 01:37:51,084 And as Rod would discover, they did care. 2357 01:37:52,709 --> 01:37:54,751 [car approaching] 2358 01:37:58,918 --> 01:38:00,543 [Wes] Dean! 2359 01:38:01,209 --> 01:38:03,001 You got to see this! 2360 01:38:03,001 --> 01:38:05,876 Within days, Dean Stanton and his friends 2361 01:38:05,876 --> 01:38:07,418 would reach out again. 2362 01:38:07,418 --> 01:38:08,834 I couldn't believe they called. 2363 01:38:08,834 --> 01:38:10,168 These are people I met only once 2364 01:38:10,168 --> 01:38:11,293 and only for a few minutes, 2365 01:38:11,293 --> 01:38:14,418 and here they were offering me the opportunity of a lifetime. 2366 01:38:14,418 --> 01:38:16,876 And what was that opportunity? 2367 01:38:16,876 --> 01:38:20,168 Simply to become 'Ricky Stanicky'. 2368 01:38:20,168 --> 01:38:22,209 [Rod] They said, "You are no longer Rod Rimestead, 2369 01:38:22,209 --> 01:38:23,334 "the loser. 2370 01:38:23,334 --> 01:38:25,668 "From here on out, you're Ricky Stanicky, the winner." 2371 01:38:26,501 --> 01:38:27,668 That was the first time 2372 01:38:27,668 --> 01:38:29,334 somebody had ever believed in me. 2373 01:38:29,334 --> 01:38:32,209 [Stan Grant] After relocating Rod, now Ricky, to Providence, 2374 01:38:32,209 --> 01:38:35,959 Dean Stanton and friends set about creating a new identity 2375 01:38:35,959 --> 01:38:40,001 for the man who'd once MC'ed an X-rated dog show. 2376 01:38:40,001 --> 01:38:41,418 We caution you - 2377 01:38:41,418 --> 01:38:44,751 this next video may be disturbing to some viewers. 2378 01:38:45,418 --> 01:38:47,709 ♪ It's a beautiful night 2379 01:38:47,709 --> 01:38:51,043 ♪ All the stars Shining bright... ♪ 2380 01:38:51,043 --> 01:38:52,918 [guests exclaiming] 2381 01:38:52,918 --> 01:38:54,709 [Carly] Oh, my God! 2382 01:38:54,709 --> 01:38:57,251 [laughing] 2383 01:38:59,334 --> 01:39:03,168 They gave me a book. They called it their bible. 2384 01:39:03,168 --> 01:39:06,418 It was like a blueprint for how to live as Ricky Stanicky. 2385 01:39:06,418 --> 01:39:08,334 How to live a good life. 2386 01:39:08,334 --> 01:39:10,584 How to learn from your errors. 2387 01:39:10,584 --> 01:39:13,043 I saw what I could have been. 2388 01:39:13,043 --> 01:39:14,584 What I'd missed. 2389 01:39:15,209 --> 01:39:17,043 And the more and more I read their bible, 2390 01:39:17,043 --> 01:39:18,084 the more I realized 2391 01:39:18,084 --> 01:39:19,668 this doesn't have to be just a dream. 2392 01:39:19,668 --> 01:39:21,834 [Stan Grant] And so 'Ricky' stopped drinking 2393 01:39:21,834 --> 01:39:24,084 and started respecting himself. 2394 01:39:24,084 --> 01:39:28,043 Soon he had a job here at Summerhayes Financial. 2395 01:39:28,043 --> 01:39:30,001 Dean introduced me to Ted Summerhayes. 2396 01:39:30,001 --> 01:39:31,084 He's one of those rich guys 2397 01:39:31,084 --> 01:39:32,876 who's gotta whip out his big swinging super-yacht 2398 01:39:32,876 --> 01:39:35,043 - to show you how rich he is. - Oh, God... 2399 01:39:35,043 --> 01:39:37,293 But, on the other hand, the guy's got a heart of gold. 2400 01:39:37,293 --> 01:39:39,543 We started Feel-Good Investing. 2401 01:39:39,543 --> 01:39:42,126 And then, through Dean, I met more and more friends. 2402 01:39:43,168 --> 01:39:45,668 I met a beautiful girl, with a beautiful soul. 2403 01:39:45,668 --> 01:39:47,126 Aw. 2404 01:39:47,126 --> 01:39:48,751 And I had a life. 2405 01:39:49,334 --> 01:39:51,084 I became 'Ricky Stanicky'. 2406 01:39:51,084 --> 01:39:53,084 And somewhere in the middle of it all, 2407 01:39:53,084 --> 01:39:57,084 the line between the mythical and the real had blurred. 2408 01:39:57,084 --> 01:40:01,418 And that's how, improbably, a drunken Atlantic City reject 2409 01:40:01,418 --> 01:40:05,459 found himself blessed with a new life in the Ocean State. 2410 01:40:05,459 --> 01:40:08,584 Hero? Me? No. No. 2411 01:40:08,584 --> 01:40:10,043 If there's a hero to this story, 2412 01:40:10,043 --> 01:40:11,668 it's the men who saved my life. 2413 01:40:11,668 --> 01:40:15,126 Dean Stanton, JT Levine and Wes... something. 2414 01:40:15,876 --> 01:40:18,251 [Stan Grant] A story that started out fraudulently, 2415 01:40:18,251 --> 01:40:20,334 somehow, miraculously, 2416 01:40:20,334 --> 01:40:24,668 became a tale of redemption, rebirth and love. 2417 01:40:24,668 --> 01:40:28,001 Because he believed that anybody at any time 2418 01:40:28,001 --> 01:40:30,751 can become the person they want to be, 2419 01:40:30,751 --> 01:40:35,209 we choose Ricky Stanicky as our Hero of the Week. 2420 01:40:35,209 --> 01:40:37,918 [cheering and applause] 2421 01:40:41,084 --> 01:40:44,334 [guests chanting] Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! 2422 01:40:48,209 --> 01:40:52,543 ♪ If you're going to San Francisco... ♪ 2423 01:40:52,543 --> 01:40:53,834 Well... 2424 01:40:53,834 --> 01:40:56,293 you came out of this smelling like a rose, didn't ya? 2425 01:40:56,293 --> 01:40:58,293 How do you think it makes me look? 2426 01:40:58,293 --> 01:41:00,209 Are you kidding me?! 2427 01:41:00,209 --> 01:41:02,751 Such a wonderful and inspirational story, Ted. 2428 01:41:02,751 --> 01:41:04,959 Great job Ted, and you too, Dean. 2429 01:41:04,959 --> 01:41:06,584 Oh, I... I didn't do it. 2430 01:41:06,584 --> 01:41:09,709 Summerhayes. I like the people you surround yourself with. 2431 01:41:09,709 --> 01:41:12,418 I mean, the concept of second chances 2432 01:41:12,418 --> 01:41:14,501 and feeling good about your investments - 2433 01:41:14,501 --> 01:41:16,293 that's something we're trying to achieve. 2434 01:41:16,959 --> 01:41:19,543 Well, that's... what we do. 2435 01:41:19,543 --> 01:41:22,126 Truth is, it was Ted who saw the potential in Ricky. 2436 01:41:22,126 --> 01:41:24,168 It was also his idea to start partnering 2437 01:41:24,168 --> 01:41:26,043 with more charitable organizations. 2438 01:41:26,709 --> 01:41:29,251 - I just saw the tax incentives. - [executives laugh] 2439 01:41:29,251 --> 01:41:31,709 You're a humble son of a bitch, aren't ya? 2440 01:41:31,709 --> 01:41:33,084 Ah... 2441 01:41:33,084 --> 01:41:34,168 So, do we have a deal? 2442 01:41:35,001 --> 01:41:36,418 I don't know. 2443 01:41:36,418 --> 01:41:38,626 Dean, what do you think? 2444 01:41:41,668 --> 01:41:43,001 We have a deal. 2445 01:41:43,001 --> 01:41:45,168 - Absolutely, we have a deal. - Yeah, we have a deal. 2446 01:41:45,168 --> 01:41:46,626 - Great. - Wonderful. 2447 01:41:47,834 --> 01:41:50,793 You let your made-up friend circumcise our child? 2448 01:41:51,793 --> 01:41:54,126 Honey, he worked at Beefsteak Charlie's. 2449 01:41:54,126 --> 01:41:55,584 Beefsteak... 2450 01:41:56,168 --> 01:41:57,668 That is it. 2451 01:41:57,668 --> 01:41:59,334 You are camping out in the backyard 2452 01:41:59,334 --> 01:42:00,459 for the next six months. 2453 01:42:00,459 --> 01:42:01,834 Okay. Okay. 2454 01:42:01,834 --> 01:42:04,376 Very reasonable. That's more than fair. 2455 01:42:04,376 --> 01:42:06,376 It's going to be great. Thank you. 2456 01:42:06,376 --> 01:42:08,126 - [woman] Perfect. - [Summerhayes] Thank you. 2457 01:42:15,001 --> 01:42:16,543 I don't understand. 2458 01:42:17,043 --> 01:42:19,084 How did this happen? 2459 01:42:19,084 --> 01:42:20,584 Well... 2460 01:42:20,584 --> 01:42:23,126 When I found out what you did, I was pissed. 2461 01:42:24,543 --> 01:42:27,918 I told you I sold the story to MFMBC just to fuck with you. 2462 01:42:28,918 --> 01:42:32,168 But when Ricky was hired at Summerhayes, I thought, 2463 01:42:32,168 --> 01:42:36,043 wait a minute, maybe there actually is a story here. 2464 01:42:36,043 --> 01:42:38,334 So I pitched it to my producer at Channel 6. 2465 01:42:38,334 --> 01:42:40,084 They told their friend at MFMBC 2466 01:42:40,084 --> 01:42:42,084 and they gave me the green light. 2467 01:42:44,168 --> 01:42:46,293 All those lies, Erin... 2468 01:42:50,459 --> 01:42:52,418 Can you ever forgive me? 2469 01:42:57,209 --> 01:42:59,376 It's definitely not going to be easy. 2470 01:43:01,084 --> 01:43:02,293 But... 2471 01:43:03,501 --> 01:43:04,876 ...this helps. 2472 01:43:05,543 --> 01:43:07,668 [Dean on recording] I had everything. 2473 01:43:07,668 --> 01:43:09,709 I had good friends. I had a great job. 2474 01:43:12,001 --> 01:43:13,793 The most kind-hearted, 2475 01:43:13,793 --> 01:43:16,626 beautiful person in the whole world loved me. 2476 01:43:16,626 --> 01:43:18,709 [heavy sighing] 2477 01:43:18,709 --> 01:43:21,209 Erin's the best thing that ever happened to me. 2478 01:43:22,168 --> 01:43:23,168 [cell phone clicks] 2479 01:43:24,418 --> 01:43:26,709 Ricky sent it to me today. 2480 01:43:30,376 --> 01:43:32,918 Here we go, here we go, here we go... 2481 01:43:32,918 --> 01:43:34,084 Who's that? 2482 01:43:34,084 --> 01:43:36,334 [tense music] 2483 01:43:36,334 --> 01:43:38,459 [shouting] Ricky! Look out! 2484 01:43:39,168 --> 01:43:41,001 [tense music swells] 2485 01:43:43,918 --> 01:43:45,751 - [Dean grunts] - [thudding] 2486 01:43:45,751 --> 01:43:48,126 Did that go how you thought it would, wanker?! 2487 01:43:49,209 --> 01:43:52,834 Here, Rimestead! You've officially been served. 2488 01:43:53,626 --> 01:43:55,001 What the...? 2489 01:43:55,959 --> 01:43:57,126 What's this? 2490 01:43:57,126 --> 01:44:00,084 This is a cease-and-desist order from Billy Idol. 2491 01:44:00,084 --> 01:44:01,084 Yeah? 2492 01:44:01,084 --> 01:44:02,793 If you disgrace any of his songs 2493 01:44:02,793 --> 01:44:05,501 with your disgusting lyrics ever again, 2494 01:44:05,501 --> 01:44:06,834 we'll see you in court. 2495 01:44:06,834 --> 01:44:08,043 Huh? 2496 01:44:09,543 --> 01:44:10,709 Yeah. 2497 01:44:14,501 --> 01:44:16,043 So Billy Idol saw my act? 2498 01:44:16,043 --> 01:44:17,626 Fuck off! 2499 01:44:18,918 --> 01:44:20,293 Sweet! 2500 01:44:20,834 --> 01:44:23,168 More champagne, everyone! 2501 01:44:23,168 --> 01:44:25,293 [guests cheering] 2502 01:44:26,418 --> 01:44:27,793 Billy Idol! 2503 01:44:27,793 --> 01:44:29,834 ["I'm Depending On You" by Otis Redding plays] 2504 01:44:29,834 --> 01:44:32,751 ♪ I'm depending on you ♪ 2505 01:44:32,751 --> 01:44:35,834 ♪ Everything that you do ♪ 2506 01:44:36,584 --> 01:44:40,168 ♪ And I'm depending on you ♪ 2507 01:44:40,168 --> 01:44:43,459 ♪ Yeah, to see me through ♪ 2508 01:44:43,959 --> 01:44:46,626 ♪ You know that I love you... ♪ 2509 01:44:46,626 --> 01:44:48,584 Is this Al Green? 2510 01:44:48,584 --> 01:44:50,209 It's Otis Redding. 2511 01:44:50,209 --> 01:44:51,668 Was Otis Redding blind? 2512 01:44:51,668 --> 01:44:54,418 - No. - You sure? 2513 01:44:54,418 --> 01:44:57,376 - He sounds blind. - He does sound blind. 2514 01:44:57,376 --> 01:44:58,626 He wasn't... 2515 01:44:58,626 --> 01:45:00,626 I'll take a... cranberry juice. 2516 01:45:00,626 --> 01:45:03,084 Neat. And a plate of your crispiest calamari. 2517 01:45:03,584 --> 01:45:06,751 - Epic night, am I right, guys? - [all] Yeah. 2518 01:45:06,751 --> 01:45:08,584 [Carly] Ricky! Get over here. 2519 01:45:09,334 --> 01:45:10,834 [Wes] Oh! 2520 01:45:11,793 --> 01:45:14,209 Time to go bump and grind with my fiancée. 2521 01:45:14,209 --> 01:45:15,834 You're kidding, right? 2522 01:45:15,834 --> 01:45:17,251 Yeah. 2523 01:45:17,251 --> 01:45:18,834 But I don't know, who knows, right? 2524 01:45:18,834 --> 01:45:21,459 Oh, hey, keep Saturday afternoon open. 2525 01:45:21,459 --> 01:45:22,876 We got a ton of work to do. 2526 01:45:22,876 --> 01:45:25,668 - Work on a Saturday? - Yeah, I signed us up. 2527 01:45:25,668 --> 01:45:27,543 We're going to help clean up Narragansett Bay. 2528 01:45:27,543 --> 01:45:29,043 [laughing] 2529 01:45:29,043 --> 01:45:30,084 Yeah, man. 2530 01:45:30,084 --> 01:45:33,043 I'm not messing with you. We're cleaning that shit up. 2531 01:45:39,584 --> 01:45:41,084 [Wes] Man. 2532 01:45:43,501 --> 01:45:45,043 To Ricky Stanicky. 2533 01:45:45,626 --> 01:45:47,584 To Ricky Stanicky. 2534 01:45:47,584 --> 01:45:49,543 The best friend we ever had. 2535 01:45:49,543 --> 01:45:50,668 [bottles clinking] 2536 01:45:50,668 --> 01:45:52,293 ["I'm Depending On You" fades out] 2537 01:45:52,293 --> 01:45:55,918 [The Lemon Twigs] ♪ In my head In my head ♪ 2538 01:45:55,918 --> 01:45:59,376 ♪ I am different in my head ♪ 2539 01:45:59,376 --> 01:46:02,751 ♪ I am someone else instead ♪ 2540 01:46:02,751 --> 01:46:08,709 ♪ In my head In my head ♪ 2541 01:46:12,168 --> 01:46:15,626 ♪ In my mind In my mind ♪ 2542 01:46:15,626 --> 01:46:19,293 ♪ There is sadness All the time ♪ 2543 01:46:19,293 --> 01:46:22,959 ♪ And I keep the things I find ♪ 2544 01:46:22,959 --> 01:46:29,376 ♪ In my mind In my mind ♪ 2545 01:46:31,793 --> 01:46:35,793 ♪ And never do I share These things with anyone ♪ 2546 01:46:35,793 --> 01:46:40,376 ♪ The feeling is cold And I'm afraid ♪ 2547 01:46:40,376 --> 01:46:43,751 ♪ Strangers passing, mmm ♪ 2548 01:46:49,918 --> 01:46:53,584 ♪ In my dream In my dream ♪ 2549 01:46:53,584 --> 01:46:57,334 ♪ There are symbols That repeat ♪ 2550 01:46:57,334 --> 01:47:00,959 ♪ There are copies In the street ♪ 2551 01:47:00,959 --> 01:47:06,251 ♪ In my dream In my dream ♪ 2552 01:47:09,793 --> 01:47:13,709 ♪ And never do I share These things with anyone ♪ 2553 01:47:13,709 --> 01:47:18,043 ♪ The feeling is cold And I'm afraid ♪ 2554 01:47:18,043 --> 01:47:21,251 ♪ Strangers passing, mmm. ♪ 2555 01:47:22,251 --> 01:47:24,001 [song ends] 2556 01:47:25,293 --> 01:47:27,584 ["Day In The Sun" plays] 2557 01:47:27,584 --> 01:47:30,376 [song by John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band] 2558 01:47:41,334 --> 01:47:44,459 ♪ Well, now, my engine's Overheating ♪ 2559 01:47:44,459 --> 01:47:47,834 ♪ A summer traffic jam ♪ 2560 01:47:50,001 --> 01:47:52,209 ♪ I'll be late for work again ♪ 2561 01:47:52,209 --> 01:47:56,626 ♪ But I'm doing The best that I can ♪ 2562 01:47:58,543 --> 01:48:01,043 ♪ Don't you look away, baby ♪ 2563 01:48:02,876 --> 01:48:06,584 ♪ My life just ain't What it seems ♪ 2564 01:48:06,584 --> 01:48:09,501 ♪ I got such big dreams, baby ♪ 2565 01:48:09,501 --> 01:48:13,668 ♪ My heart's busting At the seams ♪ 2566 01:48:14,168 --> 01:48:18,501 ♪ Everybody wants A day in the sun ♪ 2567 01:48:18,501 --> 01:48:22,751 ♪ Like gold tequila Shooting summer fun ♪ 2568 01:48:22,751 --> 01:48:26,209 ♪ I wanna be your number one ♪ 2569 01:48:26,209 --> 01:48:28,834 ♪ Your son of a gun ♪ 2570 01:48:30,251 --> 01:48:34,209 ♪ Everybody wants A day in the sun ♪ 2571 01:48:34,209 --> 01:48:38,834 ♪ Don't try to tell me That my race is run ♪ 2572 01:48:38,834 --> 01:48:42,251 ♪ Nothing's over, baby Nothing done ♪ 2573 01:48:42,251 --> 01:48:47,876 ♪ 'Til we have won Everybody wants one ♪ 2574 01:48:48,793 --> 01:48:51,168 ♪ Day in the sun ♪ 2575 01:48:52,293 --> 01:48:56,626 ♪ Day in the sun With you, baby ♪ 2576 01:48:56,626 --> 01:48:59,501 ♪ Day in the sun with you ♪ 2577 01:49:00,709 --> 01:49:04,084 ♪ Day in the sun with you ♪ 2578 01:49:23,418 --> 01:49:26,251 ♪ Piece of work In progress, baby ♪ 2579 01:49:27,626 --> 01:49:31,043 ♪ But I'm trying not To let it show ♪ 2580 01:49:31,834 --> 01:49:34,918 ♪ You're my dream Come true, baby ♪ 2581 01:49:34,918 --> 01:49:38,459 ♪ A dream I can't let go ♪ 2582 01:49:39,084 --> 01:49:43,251 ♪ Everybody wants A day in the sun ♪ 2583 01:49:43,251 --> 01:49:47,459 ♪ Like gold tequila Shooting summer fun ♪ 2584 01:49:47,459 --> 01:49:51,084 ♪ I wanna be your number one ♪ 2585 01:49:51,084 --> 01:49:53,543 ♪ Your son of a gun ♪ 2586 01:49:55,209 --> 01:49:59,209 ♪ Everybody wants A day in the sun ♪ 2587 01:49:59,209 --> 01:50:03,626 ♪ Don't try to tell me That my race is run ♪ 2588 01:50:03,626 --> 01:50:07,293 ♪ Nothing's over, baby Nothing done ♪ 2589 01:50:07,293 --> 01:50:13,001 ♪ 'Til we have won Everybody wants one ♪ 2590 01:50:13,918 --> 01:50:16,668 ♪ Day in the sun ♪ 2591 01:50:17,293 --> 01:50:21,668 ♪ Day in the sun With you, baby ♪ 2592 01:50:21,668 --> 01:50:24,418 ♪ Day in the sun with you ♪ 2593 01:50:25,751 --> 01:50:30,251 ♪ Day in the sun With you, baby ♪ 2594 01:50:30,251 --> 01:50:33,126 ♪ Day in the sun with you ♪ 2595 01:50:38,418 --> 01:50:41,543 ♪ Day in the sun with you ♪ 2596 01:50:42,793 --> 01:50:47,209 ♪ Day in the sun With you, baby ♪ 2597 01:50:47,209 --> 01:50:49,876 ♪ Day in the sun with you ♪ 2598 01:50:51,293 --> 01:50:55,709 ♪ Day in the sun With you, baby ♪ 2599 01:50:55,709 --> 01:50:58,709 ♪ Day in the sun with you. ♪ 2600 01:51:10,334 --> 01:51:12,501 [song ends] 2601 01:51:13,793 --> 01:51:16,751 Before I get to that, I would like to say this. 2602 01:51:16,751 --> 01:51:20,876 ♪ I like bigger, I like smaller I can do both ♪ 2603 01:51:20,876 --> 01:51:24,501 ♪ I like dinosaurs And I like woke ♪ 2604 01:51:24,501 --> 01:51:26,084 ♪ That's what we have to do ♪ 2605 01:51:26,084 --> 01:51:29,084 ♪ Some people say you can't But you, and you, me ♪ 2606 01:51:29,084 --> 01:51:31,251 ♪ All of us Together we can stand ♪ 2607 01:51:31,251 --> 01:51:33,126 ♪ We'll have bigger We'll have smaller ♪ 2608 01:51:33,126 --> 01:51:35,126 ♪ We can do both Do both ♪ 2609 01:51:35,126 --> 01:51:36,584 ♪ We like dinosaurs ♪ 2610 01:51:36,584 --> 01:51:38,459 ♪ And we like woke Like woke ♪ 2611 01:51:38,459 --> 01:51:40,418 ♪ To heck with the naysayers ♪ 2612 01:51:40,418 --> 01:51:42,334 ♪ I say we can ♪ 2613 01:51:42,334 --> 01:51:45,834 ♪ We will be able to narrow Maintain and expand ♪ 2614 01:51:45,834 --> 01:51:47,251 ♪ We are sharks ♪ 2615 01:51:47,251 --> 01:51:49,376 ♪ Why? ♪ 2616 01:51:49,376 --> 01:51:52,543 ♪ If we don't move forward We die ♪ 2617 01:51:52,543 --> 01:51:54,209 ♪ We'll have bigger We'll have smaller ♪ 2618 01:51:54,209 --> 01:51:56,209 ♪ We can do both Do both ♪ 2619 01:51:56,209 --> 01:51:57,709 ♪ We like dinosaurs ♪ 2620 01:51:57,709 --> 01:51:59,668 ♪ And we like woke Like woke ♪ 2621 01:51:59,668 --> 01:52:01,626 ♪ To heck with the naysayers ♪ 2622 01:52:01,626 --> 01:52:03,293 ♪ I say we can ♪ 2623 01:52:03,293 --> 01:52:06,709 ♪ We will be able to narrow Maintain and expand ♪ 2624 01:52:06,709 --> 01:52:08,418 ♪ We can do both. ♪