1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,663 (Jenna) Previously, on Awkward... 2 00:00:01,688 --> 00:00:03,905 - This is a pretty epic prank. - [all cheering] 3 00:00:03,930 --> 00:00:05,596 (Matty) Hats off, it's awesome. 4 00:00:05,598 --> 00:00:07,187 We really screwed up, Jake. 5 00:00:07,212 --> 00:00:09,233 It was my first time, and with you. 6 00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,336 (Jenna) Jake and Gabby had cheated on Matty? 7 00:00:11,338 --> 00:00:13,037 Sadie, it's your mom. 8 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:14,312 Hi, sweetheart. 9 00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:18,201 He was gonna break up with you. He said he was still into Jenna. 10 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,156 You know what, Matty? I [bleep] Jake. 11 00:00:21,132 --> 00:00:22,131 (all) Oh! 12 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,590 Did you know? 13 00:00:25,468 --> 00:00:27,290 (Jenna) It was the morning after Senior Prank, 14 00:00:27,315 --> 00:00:29,365 and what was once frothy, foamy fun 15 00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:31,799 in the decadent strobe lights of reckless abandon 16 00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:34,750 was now sticky shame in the fluorescent light of day. 17 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,350 This is so disgusting. 18 00:00:36,352 --> 00:00:39,786 - Ugh, I hate cleaning. - It makes everything pruny. 19 00:00:39,788 --> 00:00:41,255 Don't be such overachievers. 20 00:00:41,257 --> 00:00:42,989 We're responsible for a little foam, 21 00:00:42,991 --> 00:00:45,281 not 800 years of institutional filth. 22 00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:46,627 - Your turn. - Oh, no, 23 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,262 I don't do custodial. 24 00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:51,265 Poor Little Rich Bitch's bitch mom comes back in town, 25 00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:52,799 and now she's too good for our ranks. 26 00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:54,390 Aw, so not true. 27 00:00:54,415 --> 00:00:57,082 I was always too good for your ranks. 28 00:00:57,338 --> 00:01:00,539 And don't call my mom a bitch. It's disrespectful. 29 00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:02,742 [phone ringing] 30 00:01:02,744 --> 00:01:05,044 Darlene, if you want to make yourself useful, 31 00:01:05,046 --> 00:01:07,703 get me out of this [bleep] hole and take me to breakfast. 32 00:01:07,931 --> 00:01:09,206 See ya! 33 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:12,451 Bonding with Moms. Sorry. 34 00:01:12,945 --> 00:01:13,703 Nice try. 35 00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:15,191 This is your doing. 36 00:01:15,193 --> 00:01:17,628 And you should be thanking us, not oppressing us. 37 00:01:17,630 --> 00:01:18,762 Do you know how expensive 38 00:01:18,764 --> 00:01:20,296 foam machines and strobe lights are? 39 00:01:20,298 --> 00:01:22,506 If Theo hadn't stolen them from that circuit party, 40 00:01:22,531 --> 00:01:24,731 our senior prank would be senior rank! 41 00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:27,492 What is in this foam? It sticks like glue. 42 00:01:27,523 --> 00:01:28,722 Rainbows, beer, and horse tranks. 43 00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:30,290 Were there stressed-out horsies? 44 00:01:30,292 --> 00:01:31,424 Not as many as there are here. 45 00:01:31,426 --> 00:01:32,660 (Jenna) Theo had a point. 46 00:01:32,662 --> 00:01:34,361 The ugliness between Matty and Jake, 47 00:01:34,363 --> 00:01:36,496 like the foam, had seeped through the floorboards 48 00:01:36,498 --> 00:01:37,830 and into the morning. 49 00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:39,799 I felt bad for Jake, who had screwed up... 50 00:01:39,802 --> 00:01:41,669 and screwed over... his best friend. 51 00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:44,003 I felt worse for Matty, who had been blindsided 52 00:01:44,005 --> 00:01:46,105 by his best friend and his girlfriend, 53 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,374 which I had known about, and stayed out of. 54 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,942 What is wrong with these people? 55 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,011 I'm gonna need a double-dose of "Dramamine" 56 00:01:52,013 --> 00:01:54,313 to deal with this overdose of dram-o-Rama. 57 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,815 (Jenna) The "dram-o-Rama" had cast a pall 58 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,785 over the best senior prank in PHHS history. 59 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,920 Something had to be done. 60 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:06,225 Hey, peeps, lighten up. Only 46 days till graduation! 61 00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:08,031 Ew! Jenna! 62 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,429 [gasps] 63 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,530 What the... 64 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,964 Oh. 65 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,733 [screams] 66 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,569 [students gasping and laughing] 67 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:18,570 Jenna, I wouldn't... 68 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:19,805 Oh, I would. 69 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,139 Seriously, don't. 70 00:02:22,374 --> 00:02:23,842 [screams] 71 00:02:27,279 --> 00:02:28,680 [bleep] 72 00:02:28,704 --> 00:02:32,309 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 73 00:02:33,412 --> 00:02:35,812 Oh, God, get that out of my face, I can't see. 74 00:02:35,814 --> 00:02:37,448 Who put you up to this? 75 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,616 Principal Cox... he said if we didn't to clean up our mess... 76 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,638 Because if this is some sort of plot to drive me out... 77 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,863 Val, are you wearing a bathrobe? 78 00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:48,291 Yeah, I just got out of the girls' shower 79 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,592 when your little act of terrorism 80 00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:52,462 brought my home life to a screeching halt. 81 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:55,098 Val, this isn't your home. You shouldn't be living here. 82 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,566 Oh, shouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't. 83 00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:58,768 Shouldn't leave the fridge door open, Val. 84 00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:01,404 Shouldn't let the cats sleep in our bed, Val. 85 00:03:01,406 --> 00:03:02,539 Ahem. 86 00:03:02,541 --> 00:03:04,107 I wasn't complaining about the cats, 87 00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:05,145 it's my allergies. 88 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:08,237 Yeah, well, luckily, we are quite comfortable here. 89 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,413 Or will be, once Jenna's wanton act of vandalism 90 00:03:11,415 --> 00:03:13,348 is addressed and the lights come back on. 91 00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:15,684 - It was an accident. - Since is the only place 92 00:03:15,686 --> 00:03:17,934 where I am free to be myself, 93 00:03:17,959 --> 00:03:20,692 where I can put my toothbrush where I want... 94 00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:23,769 stop giving me that look of disapproval, Biggie, 95 00:03:23,794 --> 00:03:27,596 I can feel it... and where no one is allergic to my cats. 96 00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:29,998 Actually, Val, a lot of people are allergic to cats here. 97 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,433 Yeah, just students. 98 00:03:31,435 --> 00:03:35,203 I will go on antihistamines. Please come home. 99 00:03:36,546 --> 00:03:38,647 Say it like you mean it. 100 00:03:38,672 --> 00:03:42,007 You know what? Fine, live at school, 101 00:03:42,112 --> 00:03:47,122 musty, mildewy, nasty, dark school. 102 00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:50,284 Some of us still have 46 days left here, you know! 103 00:03:50,286 --> 00:03:52,654 Okay, Jenna Hamilton, you need to get it together. 104 00:03:52,656 --> 00:03:53,669 [cat screeches] 105 00:03:53,694 --> 00:03:54,794 And that goes for the two of you too. 106 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:56,110 Fluffernut, share your fish treat. 107 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:57,936 No, Val, you have to get it together. 108 00:03:57,961 --> 00:03:59,989 You have a great guy who wants to work things out. 109 00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:01,669 Yeah? Well, you broke the school. 110 00:04:01,694 --> 00:04:03,775 You know what? I am not enabling this. 111 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,067 Oh, come on. Where are you going? 112 00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:09,903 To class. Last time I checked, this was still a school. 113 00:04:09,905 --> 00:04:12,206 Hey, you are not dismissed! 114 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:14,775 I seriously can't handle her. She's lost her... 115 00:04:14,777 --> 00:04:16,528 Yeah, Jenna, she's Mariah CrayCray. 116 00:04:16,553 --> 00:04:17,888 Good thing you've had four years 117 00:04:17,913 --> 00:04:19,813 to reach this astute observation. 118 00:04:19,815 --> 00:04:22,224 Wow, why are you so snippy? And why is it so hot in here? 119 00:04:22,249 --> 00:04:25,451 You fried the school, Jenna. There's no AC to power the AC. 120 00:04:25,476 --> 00:04:27,075 Why isn't anyone in class? 121 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,167 There's no oxygen and we can't read the whiteboard, 122 00:04:29,192 --> 00:04:30,491 so we're crammed in these common areas 123 00:04:30,493 --> 00:04:33,093 like Euro tourists on some "budge" airline. 124 00:04:33,095 --> 00:04:35,129 Congrats, Jenna. You've advanced high school suck 125 00:04:35,131 --> 00:04:37,365 into deep throat territory. 126 00:04:38,130 --> 00:04:38,965 (Darlene) I haven't been to a place 127 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:40,767 like this in... well, since... 128 00:04:40,769 --> 00:04:43,136 You know, I hadn't either, 129 00:04:43,138 --> 00:04:45,305 until you abandoned me and left me poor. 130 00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:46,317 [both chuckle] 131 00:04:46,342 --> 00:04:47,808 Well, I love it. 132 00:04:47,976 --> 00:04:51,244 They even have a spa menu. Who knew? 133 00:04:51,246 --> 00:04:53,446 Thank you. 134 00:04:53,448 --> 00:04:55,748 You know, could I get a side of bacon? 135 00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:56,749 Small. 136 00:04:56,751 --> 00:04:59,485 Or maybe large. 137 00:04:59,487 --> 00:05:02,864 What do you think, Darlene, small or large? 138 00:05:02,889 --> 00:05:04,857 Whatever you want, sweetie. 139 00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:06,826 It's not that bad for you. 140 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,528 It's protein. 141 00:05:08,553 --> 00:05:10,817 I even eat it myself sometimes. 142 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,167 Could I get a new fork, please? 143 00:05:14,169 --> 00:05:15,367 Thank you. 144 00:05:15,369 --> 00:05:17,103 (Jenna) Just when I had embraced the fact 145 00:05:17,105 --> 00:05:19,205 that it was my fault today sucked, 146 00:05:19,207 --> 00:05:22,307 I started noticing a little thaw in the 90-degree air. 147 00:05:22,309 --> 00:05:25,777 Granted, we were now outside, but it was something else. 148 00:05:25,779 --> 00:05:28,346 Things weren't just thawing, they were melting. 149 00:05:28,348 --> 00:05:30,215 Eat it up before it melts! Come on! 150 00:05:30,217 --> 00:05:32,751 Gobble, gobble, little pigs! 151 00:05:32,753 --> 00:05:34,519 Jenna, this is getting... 152 00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:37,289 not so bad. Dulce de leche? 153 00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:38,931 Matty, how's your hand? 154 00:05:39,025 --> 00:05:42,126 Bruised from coming into contact with the jawbone of the guy 155 00:05:42,128 --> 00:05:43,360 that screwed my girlfriend. How's yours? 156 00:05:43,362 --> 00:05:45,529 (Jenna) Okay, super specific answer. 157 00:05:45,531 --> 00:05:46,650 He was pissed. 158 00:05:46,675 --> 00:05:48,733 I should have told him about Jake and Gabby. 159 00:05:48,735 --> 00:05:49,967 Have a good one, Jenna. 160 00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:51,836 Just leave well enough alone. 161 00:05:51,838 --> 00:05:53,704 The Matty and Jake bro-up was ugly. 162 00:05:53,706 --> 00:05:55,106 You don't want it to get uglier. 163 00:05:55,108 --> 00:05:58,075 Dude, you boned Matty's girl. 164 00:05:58,077 --> 00:05:59,343 It wasn't really like that. 165 00:05:59,345 --> 00:06:00,844 I heard she was the big V till you. 166 00:06:00,846 --> 00:06:02,278 Sounds like for once someone else got 167 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,513 - what McKibben wanted. - [both laughing] 168 00:06:04,515 --> 00:06:06,750 Yeah, wouldn't want to make that any worse. 169 00:06:06,752 --> 00:06:09,518 Uh, I have some terrible news. 170 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,188 Yes, worse than sweating out your body weight 171 00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:14,157 in sweltering hallways while inhaling 172 00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:17,560 the fetid bodily fumes of your fellow classmates. 173 00:06:17,562 --> 00:06:20,295 Thanks to a certain unnamed recalcitrant 174 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:24,699 whose name may or may not rhyme with "Henna Mammalton," 175 00:06:25,072 --> 00:06:27,602 school has been cancelled for the duration of the day. 176 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,671 [all cheering] 177 00:06:29,673 --> 00:06:31,173 Jenna, you got us the day off. 178 00:06:31,175 --> 00:06:36,145 (all) Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! Jenna! 179 00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:37,612 Tamara, what is happening? 180 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:41,348 They think you planned this to get us all out of school. 181 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,951 You're, like, their new leader. Just go with it. 182 00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:46,254 Way to go, Hamilton! 183 00:06:46,256 --> 00:06:51,692 (all) Ham-il-ton! Ham-il-ton! Ham-il-ton! Ham-il-ton! 184 00:06:51,694 --> 00:06:53,527 (Jenna) If I'd learned anything in high school, 185 00:06:53,529 --> 00:06:55,963 it was that labels happen in the blink of an eye 186 00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:57,497 and take forever to disappear. 187 00:06:57,499 --> 00:07:00,934 But this time, I was Jenna Hamilton, school-breaker, 188 00:07:00,936 --> 00:07:02,502 so why not embrace it? 189 00:07:02,504 --> 00:07:03,636 That's right! 190 00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:05,872 Blackout party at the Beach, bitches! 191 00:07:05,874 --> 00:07:08,541 [all cheering] 192 00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:09,709 Is there booze? 193 00:07:09,711 --> 00:07:11,044 You bet your ass there's booze! 194 00:07:11,046 --> 00:07:14,815 [all cheering] 195 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,257 Your parents have buttloads of booze. 196 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,171 I still feel like I should say something to Matty. 197 00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,778 Jenna, focus. We have an opportunity. 198 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:26,479 You have become cool, which makes me cool. 199 00:07:26,481 --> 00:07:28,181 We cannot squander this. There are tons 200 00:07:28,183 --> 00:07:29,649 of thirsty partygoers counting on us. 201 00:07:29,651 --> 00:07:32,085 Okay, just don't touch the vodka. 202 00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:34,420 They buy store brand, which is too sad. 203 00:07:34,422 --> 00:07:37,357 Whoa! Is your mother home? 204 00:07:37,359 --> 00:07:40,393 T, she's pregnant. She would never drink this much. 205 00:07:40,395 --> 00:07:42,428 [cat scratching and meowing] 206 00:07:42,430 --> 00:07:44,264 Oh, no way. 207 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:45,430 - [cat screeches] - [gasps] Oh, my God! 208 00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,399 - [claws skittering] - [screams] 209 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,770 Very interesting. The things you learn... 210 00:07:50,772 --> 00:07:54,173 Honey, Val told me what you did to the school! 211 00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:57,014 Stop looking at me like that. It's a virgin. 212 00:07:57,039 --> 00:08:00,345 J-town, I'm sorry I came down on you so hard earlier. 213 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,415 You did us all a favor. I can't live at school. 214 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:04,983 - I can't. - Good. 215 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,718 L-dog says I can stay here until I figure out my next move. 216 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,320 Are you insane? 217 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,521 Sure there's not alcohol in that? 218 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,290 [scoffs] Honey, come here. 219 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,325 She is very vulnerable right now. 220 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,895 I promise you, it will only be a couple days. 221 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,129 You'll hardly notice her. 222 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,932 [cat screeches] 223 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,269 Plus, you owe her for brushing your little stunt under the rug. 224 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,337 Why is she drinking all your alcohol? 225 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,607 Oh. I'm experimenting with artisanal cocktails. 226 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,542 In case Biggie and I ever set a date, 227 00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:34,912 I want the perfect libation served at my wedding. 228 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,448 Set a date? You guys can't even live under the same roof. 229 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,216 She should still be prepared. 230 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,419 Do you know how much planning goes into a wedding? 231 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,387 It is never too soon to get out in front of it. 232 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,523 Your mom thinks it's a terrible idea too. 233 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,123 Oh, I'm just saying you should think it through. 234 00:08:49,148 --> 00:08:50,660 And take it from an old married gal 235 00:08:50,662 --> 00:08:52,796 who only set a date because she had to. 236 00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:53,812 Oh, that's nice. 237 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:56,065 I'm not saying it didn't turn out great. 238 00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:58,535 I just mean that Val's young 239 00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:02,605 and she seems a little unsure of what she's doing. 240 00:09:02,607 --> 00:09:04,974 Maybe you should experience a little more life 241 00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:06,309 before you commit. You know, 242 00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:08,177 there's a whole big world out there. 243 00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:11,280 You're a wise, wise woman. 244 00:09:11,282 --> 00:09:13,682 Why am I rushing into things? 245 00:09:13,684 --> 00:09:16,819 Why am I... why am I... 246 00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,054 [gulps] 247 00:09:18,056 --> 00:09:20,990 Where am I? Okay, spinning. 248 00:09:21,265 --> 00:09:23,159 Honey, I'm gonna deal with this, but you guys should 249 00:09:23,161 --> 00:09:25,027 get out of here. You shut down the school. 250 00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:26,896 You should be partying your asses off. 251 00:09:26,898 --> 00:09:29,242 You have such a great mom. 252 00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:35,237 Top Valu? Seriously? 253 00:09:35,239 --> 00:09:36,772 Did you forget where the liquor store is, 254 00:09:36,774 --> 00:09:38,440 or do we suddenly need ground beef and dryer sheets? 255 00:09:38,442 --> 00:09:40,175 They're cracking down on fakes at the liquor store. 256 00:09:40,177 --> 00:09:41,410 We stand a much better shot here. 257 00:09:41,412 --> 00:09:43,278 Trust me, I know what I'm doing. 258 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,547 This is where old people buy their booze. 259 00:09:45,549 --> 00:09:46,515 Booze! 260 00:09:46,517 --> 00:09:48,116 - Nice. - [all cheering] 261 00:09:48,118 --> 00:09:49,951 Snatch it up, snatches. 262 00:09:49,953 --> 00:09:53,488 [all cheering] 263 00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,324 Ugh, this is so uncomfortable. 264 00:09:56,326 --> 00:09:57,558 (Vanessa) Look, not judging, 265 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,600 but you did kind of hang Jake out to dry. 266 00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:03,359 I didn't mean to. I was just so pissed at Matty. 267 00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:06,396 So not cool. I should apologize. 268 00:10:06,421 --> 00:10:09,204 So are you okay? You look extra sad. 269 00:10:09,206 --> 00:10:11,156 No, I feel like [bleep]. 270 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:15,042 Matty hates me because of my dick move with Gabby. 271 00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:17,477 I am such an a-hole. What was I thinking, 272 00:10:17,479 --> 00:10:20,047 screwing over my best friend for some meaningless hookup 273 00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:21,415 with some girl? 274 00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:24,318 Should we be chic married lesbians 275 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,786 or banal carpooling housewives? 276 00:10:25,788 --> 00:10:27,821 We should be quiet and not give any details 277 00:10:27,823 --> 00:10:29,223 that could blow our cover. 278 00:10:29,225 --> 00:10:30,457 Well, I need to know who I'm playing. 279 00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:32,258 Just go get more paper towels. 280 00:10:32,260 --> 00:10:34,060 Jenna, we've OD'd on paper products. 281 00:10:34,062 --> 00:10:36,154 It's not environmentally responsible. 282 00:10:36,179 --> 00:10:37,686 Do you want booze at our party? 283 00:10:37,711 --> 00:10:39,533 - [gasps] What about red cups? - No, dead giveaway. 284 00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:42,268 Then they're gonna know we're gonna drink out of them. 285 00:10:42,270 --> 00:10:45,739 Hey. Great day, huh? 286 00:10:45,741 --> 00:10:47,373 Just dropped the kids off at daycare 287 00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:49,742 and thought I'd stock up, you know. 288 00:10:49,744 --> 00:10:52,311 Taking advantage of those instant savings 289 00:10:52,313 --> 00:10:54,279 on the paper products, which is awesome. 290 00:10:54,281 --> 00:10:55,815 My hubby always says, "Save a penny," 291 00:10:55,817 --> 00:10:58,383 even with the new promotion at the Bureau. 292 00:10:58,385 --> 00:10:59,952 He's got a 501k now. 293 00:10:59,954 --> 00:11:01,787 401. 501 are the jeans. 294 00:11:04,591 --> 00:11:05,691 Nice work. 295 00:11:05,693 --> 00:11:07,692 At least they agreed not to call the cops. 296 00:11:07,694 --> 00:11:09,427 My husband's going to be very upset 297 00:11:09,429 --> 00:11:11,228 when I don't come home with his vodka. 298 00:11:12,136 --> 00:11:13,359 What are we doing here? 299 00:11:13,619 --> 00:11:15,386 I thought you were driving me back to school. 300 00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:17,488 Oh, I thought you could drive yourself back to school 301 00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:19,445 with a little style. 302 00:11:21,653 --> 00:11:23,587 (specialist) This is a Fiat 500L 303 00:11:23,589 --> 00:11:25,622 with four doors and room for five. 304 00:11:25,624 --> 00:11:28,625 Oh, it's just beautiful. Sadie, what do you think? 305 00:11:28,627 --> 00:11:30,226 I don't need a car. 306 00:11:30,228 --> 00:11:31,562 This is way more than a car. 307 00:11:31,564 --> 00:11:34,097 This is Italian design that'll make it stand out 308 00:11:34,099 --> 00:11:35,699 from everything else on the road. 309 00:11:35,701 --> 00:11:38,535 A spacious interior that has so much space and light, 310 00:11:38,537 --> 00:11:40,303 you'll think you're in an open loft. 311 00:11:40,305 --> 00:11:42,305 I don't need to stand out. 312 00:11:42,307 --> 00:11:44,341 Oh, is that a nav? 313 00:11:44,343 --> 00:11:47,511 Touchscreen navigation, Sirius satellite radio, 314 00:11:47,513 --> 00:11:49,111 Beats premium audio system. 315 00:11:49,113 --> 00:11:50,211 Bluetooth? 316 00:11:50,236 --> 00:11:53,783 Not just Bluetooth, but Uconnect hands-free communication. 317 00:11:53,785 --> 00:11:56,118 I'm not sure she can afford this. 318 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,386 Honey. [laughs] 319 00:11:57,388 --> 00:11:58,621 Of course I can. 320 00:11:58,623 --> 00:12:00,523 When you consider the large cargo capacity 321 00:12:00,525 --> 00:12:01,858 and how fun this thing is to drive... 322 00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,293 Oh, no, she can definitely afford the car, 323 00:12:04,295 --> 00:12:06,428 just not my love. 324 00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:09,365 Sadie. 325 00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,666 What? Isn't that what you're trying to do? 326 00:12:11,668 --> 00:12:13,369 Or did you just suddenly wake up 327 00:12:13,371 --> 00:12:15,004 accepting and generous this morning? 328 00:12:15,006 --> 00:12:18,140 I am trying to make amends to my beautiful daughter. 329 00:12:18,142 --> 00:12:19,541 She sent me to fat camp. 330 00:12:19,543 --> 00:12:21,377 Well, might I say, it worked very nicely. 331 00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:23,078 Not the point. 332 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,780 You can't just win me back with transparent flattery, 333 00:12:26,782 --> 00:12:29,450 Italian design, and lofty interiors. 334 00:12:29,452 --> 00:12:32,520 Or a 160 horsepower Turbocharged engine? 335 00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:35,123 Or how about the largest panoramic sunroof in its class? 336 00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:39,127 Look, you're right. I don't know how to do this. 337 00:12:39,129 --> 00:12:44,832 All I know is that I'm trying, really, really hard. 338 00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:48,360 You were born to drive this car. 339 00:12:48,385 --> 00:12:51,227 Really? I thought I was born to eat carbohydrates. 340 00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:53,788 Honey, how do you remember all this? 341 00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:56,391 The way you hold on to this food stuff... 342 00:12:56,393 --> 00:12:59,126 Because it's all you ever said to me. 343 00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:02,162 My entire life was framed around your obsession. 344 00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:05,099 I was just trying to help you. I wanted you to be... 345 00:13:05,101 --> 00:13:06,883 The person you wanted me to be? 346 00:13:06,908 --> 00:13:10,102 Why couldn't you just accept me for who I was? 347 00:13:10,693 --> 00:13:12,559 Like all the other mothers? 348 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,828 I mean, Lissa's mom, who's a freak, 349 00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:17,148 put notes in her lunchbox every day 350 00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:19,441 telling her she loved her, and to not touch herself 351 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,224 because God was watching, but still. 352 00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:24,781 I don't... I didn't think like that. 353 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,655 I'm learning, but I can't change the past, 354 00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:31,024 no matter how many times you remind me. 355 00:13:31,026 --> 00:13:34,761 All I can do is try to be a better mother. 356 00:13:34,763 --> 00:13:37,897 And all I can do is try to forgive you. 357 00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:38,697 You will? 358 00:13:38,699 --> 00:13:39,865 Try, I mean? 359 00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,301 Not because of the car. 360 00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:45,004 Because I want to move on with my life, 361 00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:47,073 and be the person I want to be. 362 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,961 And praise, and praise. 363 00:13:57,319 --> 00:13:58,318 Raise? 364 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,952 No, praise. 365 00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:02,387 These aren't arm raises, they're "arm praises." 366 00:14:02,389 --> 00:14:04,857 They're part of the new exercise program I invented. 367 00:14:04,859 --> 00:14:06,859 Okay, I don't need an exercise program. 368 00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:08,527 Oh, but it's so much more than that. 369 00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:09,995 It's the ultimate in multitasking 370 00:14:09,997 --> 00:14:13,833 your mind, body and spirit. I call it "atonercising." 371 00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:20,071 And bow, and bow, and bow. 372 00:14:20,073 --> 00:14:21,973 These are called active contritions. 373 00:14:21,975 --> 00:14:23,575 You do them when you're contrite. 374 00:14:23,577 --> 00:14:26,010 Yeah, I think I'm pretty contrite these days. 375 00:14:26,012 --> 00:14:28,446 Well, then what better way to ask God for forgiveness 376 00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:29,681 than through exercise? 377 00:14:29,683 --> 00:14:31,182 Thank you, but I don't think 378 00:14:31,184 --> 00:14:33,828 that it's God that I need to ask for forgiveness. 379 00:14:38,203 --> 00:14:39,457 ♪ I'm a killer on the prowl ♪ 380 00:14:39,459 --> 00:14:41,692 Check it out, bitches. 381 00:14:41,694 --> 00:14:43,160 ♪ So my moves is private ♪ 382 00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:45,196 ♪ Put your ass down if you move in my list ♪ 383 00:14:45,198 --> 00:14:47,264 ♪ You better watch your back 'cause my moves is timeless ♪ 384 00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:48,565 What the hell? 385 00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:50,468 ♪ You know that I'm a killer ♪ 386 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:52,603 ♪ And I'm fishing for a victim ♪ 387 00:14:52,605 --> 00:14:53,804 ♪ I'm a badass chick ♪ 388 00:14:53,806 --> 00:14:55,406 I really hope you have a better idea 389 00:14:55,408 --> 00:14:56,673 than using our fakes. 390 00:14:56,675 --> 00:14:58,709 Hey, you. Yeah, you. 391 00:14:58,711 --> 00:15:00,010 - Jenna! - [giggles] 392 00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:02,379 Hey, so my friend and I were wondering 393 00:15:02,381 --> 00:15:07,217 if you could get us a little somethin' somethin'. 394 00:15:07,219 --> 00:15:08,284 Is something wrong with you? 395 00:15:08,286 --> 00:15:09,553 You need to ask? 396 00:15:09,555 --> 00:15:11,989 We'll make it worth your while. 397 00:15:11,991 --> 00:15:14,658 Mm, no. 398 00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:16,459 - Ahem. - Mom, hey. 399 00:15:16,461 --> 00:15:18,094 What are you... what are you doing here? 400 00:15:18,096 --> 00:15:19,997 Oh, trying to replenish the liquor cabinet 401 00:15:19,999 --> 00:15:21,664 before your father gets home. 402 00:15:21,666 --> 00:15:23,833 Plus, Mama needs a Slim Jim. 403 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,668 These cravings are out of control. 404 00:15:25,670 --> 00:15:26,936 What are you doing here? 405 00:15:26,938 --> 00:15:29,271 Just hangin', with degenerates. 406 00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:30,573 Give me your money. 407 00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:32,909 - What? - Oh, come on, 408 00:15:32,911 --> 00:15:35,110 I know what you're doing. I was 17 once. 409 00:15:35,112 --> 00:15:37,446 Just promise me you will not drive. 410 00:15:37,448 --> 00:15:38,480 This feels a little weird, Mom. 411 00:15:38,482 --> 00:15:39,882 Get off your high horse. 412 00:15:39,884 --> 00:15:40,950 It's not like you won't find someone else 413 00:15:40,952 --> 00:15:42,617 to buy it for you after I leave. 414 00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:50,992 Oh. We're getting low on alcohol. 415 00:15:50,994 --> 00:15:52,827 - Ah. - Yeah, where's Hamilton? 416 00:15:52,829 --> 00:15:54,262 Yeah, where is Hamilton? 417 00:15:54,264 --> 00:15:56,531 Probably bailed to go do it with that marine. 418 00:15:56,533 --> 00:15:59,177 Mmm, I bet he's in fatigues. 419 00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:01,603 Hey. Can I talk to you? 420 00:16:01,605 --> 00:16:03,771 Uh, sure, Jacob. Yeah, why not? 421 00:16:03,773 --> 00:16:05,172 What do you want to talk about? 422 00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:07,708 Oh, what... what it was like to screw my girlfriend? 423 00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,276 [laughter] 424 00:16:10,612 --> 00:16:12,279 Okay, I-I deserve that. 425 00:16:12,281 --> 00:16:14,281 No, you don't. No, Jake. No, man, come on. 426 00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:16,850 Jakey's so nice, you know? He's so nice. 427 00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,920 You know, he's never done anything wrong. 428 00:16:19,922 --> 00:16:24,223 Okay, listen to me. I'm sorry, okay? 429 00:16:24,225 --> 00:16:27,727 I know those are just words, but I am genuinely... 430 00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:29,963 honest to God, I'm sorry, Matty. 431 00:16:30,348 --> 00:16:33,666 Yeah, you should be. You know why, though? 432 00:16:33,668 --> 00:16:36,691 Because you're not me, and you never will be, 433 00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:38,337 no matter how many of my girlfriends 434 00:16:38,339 --> 00:16:39,739 you get sloppy seconds on. 435 00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:41,406 Okay, let's just talk some other time. 436 00:16:41,408 --> 00:16:44,275 You know, 'cause if you were me, you'd get 'em first. 437 00:16:44,277 --> 00:16:47,713 [crowd murmurs] 438 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,582 Yeah, well, not always. Right, Matthew? 439 00:16:50,584 --> 00:16:52,150 Touché, Jacob. 440 00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:53,451 [laughs] Touché. 441 00:16:53,453 --> 00:16:54,486 (both) Yeah. 442 00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:55,687 Nicely done. 443 00:16:55,689 --> 00:16:58,189 Okay. I was a dick, 444 00:16:58,677 --> 00:16:59,624 but I didn't mean to hurt you. 445 00:16:59,626 --> 00:17:03,360 Hurt me? Seriously? Are you joking me? 446 00:17:03,362 --> 00:17:08,699 Jake, you can't hurt me, because you are Jake, 447 00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:11,919 and I'm Matty [bleep] McKibben! 448 00:17:13,544 --> 00:17:16,040 Dude, come on, have a little bit of sense of humor about it. 449 00:17:16,042 --> 00:17:19,098 I do, Matty... when it's [bleep] funny. 450 00:17:19,123 --> 00:17:22,311 ♪ 451 00:17:22,313 --> 00:17:27,183 ♪ But your teeth are bared and you'll never ♪ 452 00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:32,176 [car horn honking] 453 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:34,001 Booze delivery. 454 00:17:34,003 --> 00:17:35,369 Get 'em while they're cold. 455 00:17:35,371 --> 00:17:37,772 Hey, wait, where is everyone going? 456 00:17:37,774 --> 00:17:38,939 Where's everyone going? 457 00:17:38,941 --> 00:17:41,044 Hamilton. Hey, you made it. 458 00:17:41,981 --> 00:17:43,316 Do you need help with that? 459 00:17:43,341 --> 00:17:44,244 It's okay, I got it. 460 00:17:44,246 --> 00:17:46,379 Hey, Matty, what's up? 461 00:17:46,381 --> 00:17:48,181 Are you okay? what happened? 462 00:17:48,183 --> 00:17:51,017 Jenna, can you just do me the hugest favor in the world 463 00:17:51,019 --> 00:17:55,755 right now, for me, please? Can you just, uh, not ask? 464 00:17:57,624 --> 00:17:58,658 You need a ride? 465 00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,859 Yeah. 466 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,261 Matty, do you want your car keys? 467 00:18:05,565 --> 00:18:06,799 Hey. 468 00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:09,872 I'm sorry about that crack I just made, 469 00:18:10,371 --> 00:18:12,489 you know, about getting you first. 470 00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:15,474 - He deserved it. - Yeah. 471 00:18:15,903 --> 00:18:18,143 Anyway, what right would I have to be offended? 472 00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:21,414 I'm just some girl you had a meaningless hookup with. 473 00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:23,816 Oh, yeah. Sorry you heard that too. 474 00:18:23,818 --> 00:18:25,318 I'm sure you are. 475 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,854 It wasn't meaningless. I just said that to downplay it 476 00:18:28,856 --> 00:18:31,056 because I was pissed at myself 477 00:18:31,058 --> 00:18:33,748 for not handling it like a man in the first place. 478 00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:36,161 You know, if things were different, 479 00:18:36,163 --> 00:18:38,130 I'd want it to be way more than a hookup. 480 00:18:38,132 --> 00:18:42,670 Things are pretty different, Jake. 481 00:18:45,497 --> 00:18:46,905 Where the hell is everybody? 482 00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:49,441 Did they all get abducted by aliens? 483 00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:51,013 _ 484 00:18:54,428 --> 00:18:56,263 _ 485 00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:01,255 _ 486 00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:05,583 _ 487 00:19:06,859 --> 00:19:08,993 [door closes] 488 00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:12,638 Val? 489 00:19:12,663 --> 00:19:16,052 ♪ When you know it's time And you dare to be free ♪ 490 00:19:17,303 --> 00:19:21,539 ♪ When you hurt too much loving me ♪ 491 00:19:21,541 --> 00:19:26,077 ♪ That's when you're leaving ♪ 492 00:19:26,079 --> 00:19:29,680 ♪ Leaving me alone 493 00:19:29,682 --> 00:19:30,915 Val? 494 00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:32,917 You can't stay in your office. 495 00:19:32,919 --> 00:19:34,551 I love you and I need you with me. 496 00:19:34,553 --> 00:19:36,354 ♪ When you plead to me 497 00:19:36,356 --> 00:19:39,423 (Val's voice) Don't be mad, but everyone was right. 498 00:19:39,425 --> 00:19:42,593 I have to get it together. I have to experience life. 499 00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:44,295 I have to see the world. 500 00:19:44,297 --> 00:19:47,331 And please, don't worry about the cats. 501 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:49,533 They're at a very expensive pet hotel 502 00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:51,702 called the Paw-liday Inn. 503 00:19:51,704 --> 00:19:54,738 Oh, sh... Shh, shh, shh. 504 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,473 Hey, Jenna, I would... 505 00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,476 I'd ask you to stay, but I'm definitely gonna be puking, 506 00:19:59,478 --> 00:20:01,812 - and that's not very sexy. - [grunts] 507 00:20:01,814 --> 00:20:02,946 It's okay, Matty. 508 00:20:02,948 --> 00:20:04,681 That was the wrong word. I just, 509 00:20:04,683 --> 00:20:07,317 you know, if I didn't look and feel like [bleep], 510 00:20:07,319 --> 00:20:09,933 I'd ask you to... 511 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:15,659 Anyway, you've got the marine, so it's all good. 512 00:20:15,661 --> 00:20:18,295 ♪ When I leave I'll take away the pain ♪ 513 00:20:18,297 --> 00:20:19,663 Yeah. 514 00:20:19,665 --> 00:20:20,997 Get some sleep, Matty. 515 00:20:20,999 --> 00:20:24,367 ♪ That's when you're leaving ♪ 516 00:20:24,369 --> 00:20:25,234 Good night. 517 00:20:25,236 --> 00:20:28,562 ♪ Leaving you alone ♪ 518 00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:30,506 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 519 00:20:30,531 --> 00:20:31,690 Next, on Awkward... 520 00:20:31,715 --> 00:20:32,815 The weirdest [bleep] 521 00:20:32,823 --> 00:20:34,010 has been happening to me all day long. 522 00:20:34,035 --> 00:20:36,065 Hey! Which one of you [bleep] heads threw that? 523 00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:37,556 Matty, you're unpopular. 524 00:20:37,558 --> 00:20:40,324 Why is everyone so post-party partial to you? 525 00:20:40,349 --> 00:20:41,460 Hey, Jenna. 526 00:20:41,462 --> 00:20:42,794 Trip Ainworthy just spoke to me. 527 00:20:42,796 --> 00:20:44,396 Jenna, let's selfie. 528 00:20:44,398 --> 00:20:46,365 Put a flavored condom on your head, 529 00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:48,333 'cause your mind is about to get blown. 530 00:20:48,335 --> 00:20:50,434 You're legit popular.