1 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,892 [J' Marcus Latief Scott "Got Me In A Trance"] 2 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:34,411 [music stops] 3 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:38,331 [woman reporter] It seems like only yesterday the party would go on forever. 4 00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:40,208 But in just 12 short months, 5 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:43,378 the place known as America's spring break capitol 6 00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:45,880 has become a virtual ghost town. 7 00:00:47,132 --> 00:00:50,009 Who can forget the devastating attack on Lake Victoria 8 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:53,930 that left scores of young people dead and a community in shock? 9 00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:56,433 And who could have guessed that this hell on earth 10 00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:59,269 would be wrought by a species of piranha 11 00:00:59,436 --> 00:01:02,856 believed extinct for the last two million years? 12 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:05,942 A massive eradication program has left these waters, 13 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:10,447 once teeming with life, silent and dead. 14 00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:13,700 After a massive exodus that left most property abandoned, 15 00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:16,578 the local economy fell into ruin. 16 00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:20,248 Lake Victoria is now a quarantine area. 17 00:01:20,415 --> 00:01:25,128 Only weeds grow on the beaches where thousands once soaked up the sun. 18 00:01:25,295 --> 00:01:29,716 And the only boats that remain are dusty relics littering the shoreline. 19 00:01:30,425 --> 00:01:33,553 As we look back on the anniversary of this tragic event, 20 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,222 we're left to wonder if it happened here, 21 00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:37,807 can it happen again? 22 00:01:37,974 --> 00:01:39,476 And if so... 23 00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:41,102 ...where? 24 00:02:43,915 --> 00:02:46,668 [dog barking in distance] 25 00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:04,394 Sarah! 26 00:03:06,062 --> 00:03:07,230 [muffled] Sarah! 27 00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:11,234 [man 2, muffled] Hollering ain't gonna do you a damn bit of good, Clayton. 28 00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:14,487 Yeah. [grunts, groans] 29 00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:18,032 [sighs] 30 00:03:49,606 --> 00:03:51,608 [grunts, shouts] 31 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:54,360 I got my foot stuck in a rut. 32 00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:10,126 There she is, right there. She's dead. 33 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:14,088 [grunts] OK. All right. 34 00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,009 [grunts] 35 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,097 That's a big old heifer, ain't it? 36 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,142 Yes, she took second place at County last year. 37 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,730 - [exclaiming] - Damn it! What the hell? 38 00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:33,566 Shine the light on her belly. Shine the light on the belly. 39 00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:35,443 [muffled] Something's going on. 40 00:04:40,657 --> 00:04:41,824 [exhales] 41 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:45,078 There's something in there. 42 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:52,210 - [farting] - [screams] 43 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:54,963 Holy flying baby shit! 44 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,590 God damn piece of crap! 45 00:04:57,757 --> 00:04:59,467 I got a lighter. 46 00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:02,178 That smell would knock a buzzard off a gut truck. 47 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,687 - [farting] - [screaming] 48 00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:13,523 - Fuck! - That's the gassiest damn cow I ever... 49 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:18,236 [shouts] 50 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:28,079 OW! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! 51 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:30,665 Whoa! Shit! 52 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:36,212 - Dang it! ' Cl8y'ton! 53 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,382 [screams] Get away! 54 00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:41,217 [screaming] 55 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,907 [grunting] 56 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,744 Aah! 57 00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:11,789 - [growling] - [crunches] 58 00:06:11,956 --> 00:06:13,082 [Spits] 59 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:26,387 [J' Twirl: "Summer School"] 60 00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,436 Hey! It's time to get wet again! 61 00:06:33,603 --> 00:06:35,521 - Woo! - Come on down! 62 00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:38,024 Our lifeguards are hot, single, 63 00:06:38,191 --> 00:06:40,693 and ready to party with someone like you! 64 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,862 - You! - Wet 'em down, boys. 65 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:43,946 [cheering] 66 00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:47,950 So if you wanna cool off, come on down to the hottest hole in town. 67 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:50,912 - Three words for you... - [all] The Big Wet! 68 00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:54,248 Remember, double D swims free! 69 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:02,256 Oh, boy. Hold on, cut it, cut it. Cut it. 70 00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:03,382 - [music stops] - [man] Cut. 71 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:06,427 [women chattering, laughing] 72 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:13,684 - [woman] Hey. - Hi! 73 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:15,978 I gotta cut somethin' off at the pass. 74 00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:18,815 Here you go. Keep 'em wet. 75 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,691 And are you guys friends of someone...? 76 00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:22,985 Maddy. 77 00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:25,321 Get over here and give your stepdad a hug. 78 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,032 Chet, tell me you did not fire our old lifeguards 79 00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,993 and replace them with... strippers. 80 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,163 - Water-certified strippers. - Really? 81 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,832 - More than that, pumpkin. - Unbelievable. 82 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,376 Listen. Before your sweet mama died, God rest her soul, 83 00:07:38,543 --> 00:07:41,212 she made me promise her to keep this water park running, 84 00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:44,882 and I am just gonna make sure that I provide for you as well as she did. 85 00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:48,845 I'm your daddy now. We're so lucky to have each other. 86 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:50,847 Wow, Chet. 87 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,558 Sometimes I think you really believe what's coming out of your mouth. 88 00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:56,644 Come here, doll. You are gonna love this. 89 00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:58,521 [J' The One & Only's: "Chemical Kings"] 90 00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,022 [Maddy] "Adult Pool"? 91 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,983 [Chet] Go ahead. 92 00:08:04,694 --> 00:08:07,530 We are gonna make bank on this! 93 00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:14,245 What do you think? 94 00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:16,414 I think this is a very expensive joke. 95 00:08:16,581 --> 00:08:18,749 [Chet] The world's first strip bar at a water park? 96 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,502 That's a stroke of genius. Franchising, baby. 97 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:24,380 - No, no, no, no. - Oh, don't worry about that. 98 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,174 You just throw a little extra chlorine 99 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,759 and sulfuric acid in the pool, sanitizes everything. 100 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:31,888 Hey, Kiki, why don't you get your shapely ass out of the pool. 101 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,390 [speaking foreign language] 102 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:37,560 Russian. Huh? She's a doctor. 103 00:08:37,727 --> 00:08:40,188 Now keep your eyes over there on the flat screen TV. 104 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,399 I call this the "Cooch Cam," but I'm open to suggestions. 105 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,526 Check it out. Oh... 106 00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:50,865 - That's disgusting. Absolutely not. - Do not touch it. 107 00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:53,075 - I'm getting rid of it. - Don't you touch it! 108 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,785 That's not your call. 109 00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:57,413 Don't you forget that I'm still half owner of this place. 110 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:02,084 Oh, is that right? Raise your hand if you own 51 percent 111 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,421 of this water park. [pops lips] 112 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:09,425 Now raise your hand if you're a 49 percent minority owner. 113 00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:10,593 That's you. 114 00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:25,274 [fireworks whistling, popping] 115 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:28,778 [J' All The Right Moves: "The Impatient, The Imperfect, The impossible"] 116 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,494 [whooping, laughing] 117 00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:43,334 - Hey! Hi, ladies. - Hi, Maddy. 118 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:46,629 - Hey, Maddy. - How are you? What's new? 119 00:09:46,796 --> 00:09:50,258 Well, this is the summer Shelby finally abstains from abstinence. 120 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,009 - Ah! - Shut up! [chuckles] 121 00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:53,469 She's afraid to have sex 122 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:56,639 because her slutty cousin gave birth to a flipper baby. 123 00:09:56,806 --> 00:09:58,683 Stop it! You're not supposed to say that. 124 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,852 - That didn't happen. - Ooh, here he comes. 125 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,688 The boy who's gonna pop her cherry. 126 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:07,275 - He just doesn't know it yet. - [both giggling] 127 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:11,654 Hey, Maddy. What do you think of all the new changes around here? 128 00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:13,364 - Josh, meet me at the lake. - Hi. 129 00:10:13,531 --> 00:10:16,158 - Come on. [giggling] - All right. See ya. Cool. 130 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:18,369 What, am I the last guy to know you're back? 131 00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:19,829 - Hi! - Hey there! 132 00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:21,956 - How are you? I missed you. - Oh, me too. 133 00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:24,166 Bet you wish you were still in grad school for the summer, huh? 134 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,585 - I can't believe what Chet's done. - I know. 135 00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:27,878 [chuckles] 136 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:29,672 This place is everything to me. 137 00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:31,674 Working here, hanging out. 138 00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:35,011 I know. I miss those moments, too. So, look, now that you're back... 139 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:37,388 Hey, you guys, are you sure that's such a good idea? 140 00:10:37,555 --> 00:10:40,433 - [exploding, whistling] - Ho! 141 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,644 - [explosion, splashing] - Whoa! 142 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:46,022 There better not be any underage drinking going on here. 143 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:51,694 - Hello, Kyle. - Hey, come on, man. I'm on duty. 144 00:10:51,861 --> 00:10:53,195 I can't be drinking. 145 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:56,532 We got fireworks, indecent exposure... 146 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,035 - [man coughing] - [Kyle] ...probable drugs. 147 00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:05,708 Definite drugs. [exhales] 148 00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:07,293 I may just have to write you up. 149 00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:09,545 - Hi, Kyle. - [chuckling] 150 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,925 [groaning] 151 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,552 I don't see what he has that I don't have. 152 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,221 Six inches and a badge. [laughing] 153 00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,891 I heard you were back in town, 154 00:11:22,058 --> 00:11:24,268 so I figured I'd stop by and say hey. 155 00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:27,271 And I also feel like I should 156 00:11:27,438 --> 00:11:29,565 say something about the last time we talked. 157 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:33,027 No, you don't have to. Long-distance relationships, they're weird. 158 00:11:33,194 --> 00:11:35,571 - But you're back now. - For the summer. 159 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,573 Should be an interesting summer. 160 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,702 I... I... 161 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:44,080 - I'm still on duty, so... - OK. 162 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:45,122 Welcome back. 163 00:11:50,378 --> 00:11:51,754 [Shelby] I had fun at the party tonight. 164 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,589 [Josh] Yeah, yeah. Me too. 165 00:11:56,092 --> 00:11:57,426 I love the water. 166 00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:58,928 It's, uh, really... 167 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:01,430 ...wet. 168 00:12:07,353 --> 00:12:08,771 What are you thinking about? 169 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,109 - Nothin' much. - [chuckles] 170 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,320 Hey, let's take off all our clothes and go swimming. 171 00:12:16,487 --> 00:12:17,780 Uh... 172 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:21,075 OK, cool. Sure. Yeah, all right. 173 00:12:26,122 --> 00:12:29,291 - Turn around. - Oh, right. Sorry. 174 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,927 [Splashes] 175 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:47,643 Shelby? 176 00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:50,980 Shelby? 177 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:53,774 Shelby! 178 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,028 - You coming in or what? - Yeah, I'm coming. 179 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,994 No funny stuff, OK? 180 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:17,548 All right. 181 00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:19,842 [laughing, chattering] 182 00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:21,844 You want some of this? You want some, huh? 183 00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:23,345 You're not supposed to splash me back! 184 00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,514 [muffled chattering continues] 185 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,978 [laughing, panting] 186 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:37,818 [gasps] 187 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,029 - What? - I just felt something against me. 188 00:13:40,196 --> 00:13:41,655 [chuckles] 189 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,825 - Is that you? - What? What are you talking about? 190 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:55,002 Ow! What are you...? What are you doing? 191 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,213 - I didn't... - Well, whatever it is, I don't like it! 192 00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,215 I didn't do anything. 193 00:14:01,926 --> 00:14:03,052 Shelby, where are you going? 194 00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:05,054 I'm cold. I'm getting out. 195 00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:15,397 [J' The Limousines: "Very Busy People"] 196 00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:18,567 - [woman] Wait. You have to do it. - [man] OK, fine. 197 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,904 - OK. - [panting] 198 00:14:22,071 --> 00:14:23,739 Dear Lord. 199 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:29,578 - Come on. - OK. Dear Lord. 200 00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,748 Please forgive us for what we are about to do. 201 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:36,752 We each know that having relations before marriage is a sin, 202 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,254 but... 203 00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,883 ...we know that we will be forgiven... 204 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,427 ...for it because... 205 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,055 ...we're praying about it. 206 00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:50,432 - Amen. - Amen. 207 00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:54,603 - You can fuck me now. - Amen! 208 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:59,149 Oh, look at this. [chuckles] 209 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,819 - Do you like that? - [exhales] 210 00:15:01,986 --> 00:15:04,280 [chuckles] Aw... 211 00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,242 Mine. 212 00:15:08,409 --> 00:15:10,119 Ah. [chuckles] 213 00:15:10,286 --> 00:15:11,829 Don't make me cuff the other one. 214 00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:17,293 [brake releasing] 215 00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:23,632 We're moving, Travis. 216 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,634 - I know, I know. - No! 217 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,472 Look, you idiot! 218 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,477 [both grunting] 219 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,021 [Ashley groans] 220 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,023 - Ashley! You OK? - Yeah. 221 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,358 Water's coming in. Shit! 222 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,820 Give me the key for the cuff! 223 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,823 - Uh, it must've fallen out. - Find it! Now! 224 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,992 - [Ashley] Where is it?! - [Travis grunts] 225 00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:52,828 [Ashley] Shit, shit, shit, shit. Shit. Damn it! 226 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,168 Where's the key for the damn cuff?! 227 00:15:59,335 --> 00:16:01,045 - I should go for help. - No! 228 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,672 - I can't see anything! I'm sorry! - Ashley! 229 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:05,382 Hit the dome light and keep looking. 230 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,219 Shit! 231 00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,681 What are you doing?! Get over here! 232 00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:14,683 - Ashley! - I'm gonna go for help! 233 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,811 Get back here! What are you doing?! 234 00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,648 Ashley! Damn! 235 00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:26,987 [Travis screaming] 236 00:16:32,785 --> 00:16:36,246 - [screaming continues] - Travis? 237 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:37,873 [growls] 238 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,416 Travis? 239 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,543 - Travis! - [screaming] 240 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,006 Ow! [grunts] 241 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:49,551 - There's something in the water! - [hissing] 242 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,595 Help! 243 00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:54,390 Anybody! [sobbing] 244 00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:58,811 Somebody help me! Ashley! 245 00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:02,606 [screaming] 246 00:17:05,234 --> 00:17:08,028 Travis? Come on, are you there? 247 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:09,905 Travis? [panting] 248 00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,782 Travis! 249 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:17,496 - Ashley! - [shrieks] Oh, my... Oh, my God. 250 00:17:17,663 --> 00:17:21,709 Oh, my... Help! Oh, my God! 251 00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:25,254 Please! ls anybody out there? 252 00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:28,257 [echoing] Anybody?! 253 00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:29,717 I'm sorry. I just... 254 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,386 No, it's cool. I don't mind hanging out. 255 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,596 No, it's not you. It's just that... 256 00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,892 Do you think Ashley's prettier than me? 257 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,437 - No. - Most guys do. 258 00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:44,148 Yeah, well, I've never really been into girls with big breasts. 259 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,442 Aw. [chuckles] 260 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,807 [door opens] 261 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,693 Welcome back, Maddy. 262 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,332 [growling] 263 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,668 [J' Cellphish: "Before I Die"] 264 00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,301 [screaming, cheering] 265 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,046 [man grunting, laughing] 266 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,006 - Dave? - [laughing, indistinct] 267 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,383 What the fuck you doing? 268 00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,928 The hole where the water comes out. [grunts] 269 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:40,722 - Oh, God, man. - She's so wet! 270 00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,225 [groans] 271 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,605 Hey, Shelby, have you seen Ashley or Travis? 272 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,357 Neither one of them punched in this morning. 273 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:52,276 No, I haven't seen either of them. 274 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,278 I don't know. 275 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,864 Just a sec. 276 00:19:57,030 --> 00:20:00,617 - You OK? - I just feel a little weird. It's OK. 277 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:03,745 - Here, let me help you. - No, no, I'm fine. Really. 278 00:20:10,294 --> 00:20:12,462 - [gasping, coughing] - You OK? 279 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:16,550 Whoa! Look who has morning sickness! 280 00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:19,720 [chuckling] 281 00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:21,638 Nice work, papa. 282 00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:06,975 [Kyle] Nobody was inside, Shel. I'm sure they're fine. 283 00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:11,313 Probably just shaken up and scared they're gonna get in trouble. 284 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:16,652 - Oh, my God. Come on, Ash. Pick up! - [line ringing] 285 00:21:16,818 --> 00:21:20,197 - Hey, it's Ash. Leave a message. - Shit! Call me! 286 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,366 Is there... ls there anywhere else they might've gone or...? 287 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:25,035 No, I don't... I'm just... I'm just gonna go. 288 00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:04,574 [sniffles] 289 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:08,537 Ashley's my best friend. 290 00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:11,540 I mean... I know she's kind of a slut, 291 00:22:11,707 --> 00:22:15,085 and she's stolen 11 of my ex-boyfriends and... 292 00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:16,753 [growls] 293 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,047 ...I'm pretty sure she also stole a pair of earrings 294 00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,717 that my grandmother gave me before she died, but... 295 00:22:21,883 --> 00:22:23,677 ...we were like sisters. 296 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:28,765 [gasps] 297 00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:32,185 What is that? 298 00:22:33,437 --> 00:22:34,563 [boards thumping] 299 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:35,731 Oh, my God. 300 00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:38,442 We have to get off of this thing right now. Hurry! 301 00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:41,403 Come on, Shelby! 302 00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,239 [screaming] 303 00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:51,997 [growling] 304 00:22:52,164 --> 00:22:53,623 - Get out! Come on! - [Shelby whimpering] 305 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,542 - Shelby, grab my hand! - [growling] 306 00:22:58,295 --> 00:22:59,421 Quick, come on, I've got you! 307 00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,424 - [shrieks] - Hurry, come on. Let's go! 308 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,135 [screaming] 309 00:23:07,929 --> 00:23:09,264 Come on! Quickly! 310 00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,769 Let's go! We're almost there! 311 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,938 [shrieking] 312 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:21,610 - [shrieking] - Careful! 313 00:23:28,158 --> 00:23:29,326 [screaming] 314 00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:31,411 No, no, no! Come back, Shelby! 315 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:34,331 - [whimpering] - Come here! Come this way, quick! 316 00:23:34,498 --> 00:23:35,665 You're gonna have to jump! 317 00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:43,799 - Come on, you're gonna have to jump. - Maddy, I can't jump from here! 318 00:23:43,965 --> 00:23:47,344 - Let's go! - [Shelby screaming indistinctly] 319 00:23:48,804 --> 00:23:50,305 Come on, it's just a foot! 320 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:55,352 - Grab my hand! I got you! - [shrieks] 321 00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:00,023 [both screaming] 322 00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:15,038 [both grunting, panting] 323 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:20,127 [both screaming] 324 00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,514 [both shrieking] 325 00:24:33,849 --> 00:24:35,142 [gasps] 326 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:36,685 What is this thing? 327 00:24:36,852 --> 00:24:38,562 Maddy? 328 00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,188 What the fuck is that? 329 00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:48,071 Ugh. 330 00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:51,658 [panting slowly] 331 00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:55,829 - [growls] - [screams] 332 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:57,539 - Fuck. Oh, shit. - [Shelby] Oh, my God! 333 00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,880 Is that a fucking piranha? 334 00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:09,926 My father worked construction on Carson Dam. 335 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:14,389 They found fossils like this when they first broke ground. 336 00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,766 He gave me this one for my eighth birthday. 337 00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,560 I'm telling you, man, it was a piranha. 338 00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:20,937 How'd they get from Lake Victoria to our lake? 339 00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:22,898 That's what we've gotta find out. 340 00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:27,402 - [chuckling] - What? 341 00:25:30,071 --> 00:25:31,907 Look at us. 342 00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:34,075 The cop and the marine biologist. 343 00:25:34,743 --> 00:25:37,204 I'm sorry. That just sounds like a shitty sitcom. 344 00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:40,707 - The Cop and The Marine Biologist. - [clicks on siren] 345 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:43,627 [siren stops] 346 00:25:46,087 --> 00:25:47,547 You're still wet. 347 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:50,926 A little, yeah. 348 00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:55,430 [indistinct police radio chatter] 349 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,599 [engine races] 350 00:26:18,286 --> 00:26:20,997 [car approaches, slows] 351 00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:30,632 Guys, can one of you open the door? 352 00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:33,176 Kyle, open the door. 353 00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:34,803 Little man. 354 00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:37,973 That's funny. 355 00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:39,182 Dick. 356 00:26:41,685 --> 00:26:43,228 [gasps] 357 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:48,149 Who are you? Why are you here? 358 00:26:48,316 --> 00:26:54,322 - Sir, we saw you on YouTube. - You and 11 million, 486 other people. 359 00:26:54,698 --> 00:26:57,284 I have 700 more hits 360 00:26:57,450 --> 00:26:59,494 than the Laughing Diarrhea Baby. 361 00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:02,289 Uh, we need your expertise, Mr. Goodman. 362 00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,209 Why? 363 00:27:07,377 --> 00:27:09,129 We think they're back. 364 00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:19,556 Cross Lake isn't even connected to Lake Victoria. 365 00:27:19,723 --> 00:27:24,519 The piranha must be migrating through underground lakes and rivers. 366 00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:28,565 I've studied this specimen for almost a year. 367 00:27:30,025 --> 00:27:32,027 - [tank thumps] - [laughs wildly] 368 00:27:32,193 --> 00:27:33,611 Here, Meanie. 369 00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:36,698 [speaking gibberish] 370 00:27:36,865 --> 00:27:38,825 ' [tapping tank] ' [growls] 371 00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:41,328 I think you might find this interesting. 372 00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:45,415 - You need some help? - Yeah. [grunting] 373 00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:49,377 OK, this is galvanized steel, 374 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:53,506 like ordinary household plumbing. 375 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:56,384 There we go. 376 00:27:56,551 --> 00:27:59,054 Aha! Now, for some incentive. 377 00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:02,599 - [frog croaking] - Yeah, yeah, yeah... 378 00:28:02,766 --> 00:28:05,060 No, no, no, not the frog. Aah! 379 00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:08,188 Sorry, I... sold out of puppies this morning. 380 00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:10,774 OK... 381 00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:16,279 Now, I think this is quite resourceful. Watch. 382 00:28:17,906 --> 00:28:18,948 - [thumps] "[98Sps] 383 00:28:26,081 --> 00:28:27,415 Come on, come on, come on 384 00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:43,556 Now it's got something to grab. 385 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,776 - [grunts] - Oh, dear! Fuck! 386 00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:57,112 Barry, are you crazy?! You almost lost a hand! 387 00:28:57,278 --> 00:28:58,947 I had a pet frog once. 388 00:28:59,114 --> 00:29:00,240 [sighs] 389 00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:03,701 Come on. OK. Come here. 390 00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:05,078 Really? 391 00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:08,873 Now check out some data. 392 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,125 What were you thinking? 393 00:29:17,674 --> 00:29:20,635 These piranha spent eons 394 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:24,514 living in underground lakes and rivers 395 00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:30,270 full of sulfur dioxide from all the geothermal activity. 396 00:29:30,437 --> 00:29:33,606 That's how they come back to spawn. 397 00:29:33,773 --> 00:29:35,984 - They follow the rotten egg smell. - Yes. 398 00:29:37,694 --> 00:29:42,532 Problem is, sulfur dioxide is commonly released 399 00:29:42,699 --> 00:29:45,493 during the treatment of chlorinated water. 400 00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:49,706 So it's conceivable that the fish could become... 401 00:29:49,873 --> 00:29:51,791 ...confused... 402 00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:55,211 ...and try to enter man-made drainage systems. 403 00:29:55,795 --> 00:29:59,007 Especially with all the shocking 404 00:29:59,174 --> 00:30:01,843 abundance of backyard pools. 405 00:30:04,596 --> 00:30:06,723 Our water park drains directly into Cross Lake. 406 00:30:06,890 --> 00:30:09,017 That's like the equivalent of a thousand swimming pools. 407 00:30:09,184 --> 00:30:11,686 Oh, that would be a very bad thing. 408 00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:14,355 Did you tell anyone that this could happen? 409 00:30:14,522 --> 00:30:18,193 I tried. Unfortunately, I lost some credibility 410 00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:23,698 after my last book foretold a dreadful plague of walking fish. 411 00:30:23,865 --> 00:30:25,533 Oh, that's right! 412 00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:28,036 You wrote Fish Walk Among Us. I loved that book. 413 00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,705 That's really great. 414 00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:32,582 Why, thank you... 415 00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:35,210 ...kindred spirit. 416 00:30:36,044 --> 00:30:37,378 Mm-hm. 417 00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:39,047 [chuckles] 418 00:30:39,214 --> 00:30:41,424 [Goodman mutters indistinctly] 419 00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:45,720 [laughs] Thanks. 420 00:30:46,721 --> 00:30:49,891 Barry... you, uh... 421 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,393 You read a marine biology book? 422 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,270 Well, I wanted to see what you're so interested in. 423 00:30:55,605 --> 00:30:57,357 [sighs] 424 00:30:59,234 --> 00:31:02,820 Guys, we've gotta check the drains over the outflow pipes in the lake, tonight. 425 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,156 I could get a dive team up here from Tempe by tomorrow. 426 00:31:05,323 --> 00:31:06,491 No, that's too late. 427 00:31:06,658 --> 00:31:10,328 The water park opens tomorrow, that place is gonna be packed. 428 00:31:10,495 --> 00:31:12,080 If the fish are getting through the drain system... 429 00:31:12,247 --> 00:31:16,167 That would make Lake Victoria look like an appetizer. 430 00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:19,045 Guys, we've gotta get out there right now. 431 00:31:19,963 --> 00:31:21,714 Thank you so much for your help, Mr. Goodman. 432 00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:23,341 Thank you. Thank you. 433 00:31:23,508 --> 00:31:24,717 [Barry] Thank you, sir. Honor. 434 00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:27,428 - OK. Be well. - It's a pleasure... 435 00:31:30,557 --> 00:31:35,103 - Aha! 11 million, 888 hits! - [door closes] 436 00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:39,315 Take that, Laughing Diarrhea Baby! 437 00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:03,798 [growls] 438 00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:08,636 [man] Two Merkin teens, Ashley Sorby and Travis Mitchell, 439 00:32:08,803 --> 00:32:10,305 were reported missing this morning 440 00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:13,474 after their van was pulled out of Cross Lake. 441 00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:15,643 Thanks for letting me stay here. 442 00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:17,145 It's totally cool. 443 00:32:18,146 --> 00:32:19,314 How you feeling? 444 00:32:20,148 --> 00:32:22,025 - A little better. - You don't seem any better. 445 00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:25,320 - [sobs] - Hey, what is it? 446 00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:28,364 It's just the stress of the whole Ashley thing and... 447 00:32:33,328 --> 00:32:34,996 Make love to me. 448 00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:39,834 - Please. - Right now? 449 00:32:40,001 --> 00:32:41,461 Please, Josh. 450 00:32:41,628 --> 00:32:43,838 Right now. I... 451 00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:45,715 I think something's really wrong with me, 452 00:32:45,882 --> 00:32:48,009 and I... if I don't... 453 00:32:48,176 --> 00:32:50,970 If I don't get better, I don't want to die a virgin. 454 00:32:52,847 --> 00:32:55,350 [panting] Please, Josh. 455 00:32:55,516 --> 00:32:57,352 I want it to be with you. 456 00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:05,026 Just come inside me. 457 00:33:05,193 --> 00:33:07,362 Come inside me, I'll do whatever you say after that. 458 00:33:10,573 --> 00:33:12,909 The outflow pipes down there link directly to the water park. 459 00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:13,868 I've gotta check them out. 460 00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,537 You've considered how batshit crazy this is, right? 461 00:33:16,704 --> 00:33:18,956 I've gotta take a look. I'll be quick. 462 00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:22,585 Um, look, about what I was trying to say last night... 463 00:33:22,752 --> 00:33:24,545 Are you coming in? Because I could really use a spotter. 464 00:33:24,712 --> 00:33:27,590 - What? - I mean, if you're... It's OK. 465 00:33:27,757 --> 00:33:31,010 No, no, no, I'm not scared It's just, um... 466 00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:33,012 ...I can't swim. [nervous chuckle] 467 00:33:33,179 --> 00:33:35,223 You work at a water park and you can't swim? 468 00:33:35,390 --> 00:33:37,058 Ding-ding. 469 00:33:37,225 --> 00:33:38,810 What about all the beach parties in high school, 470 00:33:38,976 --> 00:33:42,438 or the parties at the park? You never...? 471 00:33:42,605 --> 00:33:44,941 My God, Barry, I totally would've taught you how to swim. 472 00:33:45,108 --> 00:33:47,694 No, yeah, I know. You seemed kind of busy at the time. 473 00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:51,072 Not a big deal. 474 00:33:51,864 --> 00:33:53,408 Toss me that flashlight. 475 00:33:55,076 --> 00:33:59,080 [Kyle, quietly] Yes, I know. That's what I said, Chet, but she won't listen. 476 00:33:59,247 --> 00:34:00,915 All right, I'll find you. 477 00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:09,716 Are you sure you wanna do this? 478 00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:11,050 [whispers] No. 479 00:34:42,790 --> 00:34:44,542 [grate rattles] 480 00:34:50,298 --> 00:34:53,843 You, uh, let her go in there alone? 481 00:34:54,844 --> 00:34:56,137 Fuck off, Kyle. 482 00:34:56,304 --> 00:34:59,307 Oh, yes, Barry can't swim. 483 00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:16,157 [growls] 484 00:35:21,204 --> 00:35:23,498 ' Maddy! - [screaming] 485 00:35:23,664 --> 00:35:24,373 ' Maddy! ' Maddy! 486 00:35:26,542 --> 00:35:28,169 [Barry] Swim, Maddy! 487 00:35:29,921 --> 00:35:31,339 [screams] 488 00:35:43,976 --> 00:35:46,062 - Shit. - Get out of the way! Get back! 489 00:35:54,904 --> 00:35:57,365 - Are you OK? - I think so. 490 00:36:04,038 --> 00:36:06,707 [J' The Limousines: "Flaskaboozendancingshoes"] 491 00:36:06,874 --> 00:36:09,752 Don't worry. I won't break. 492 00:36:12,255 --> 00:36:13,506 - [gasps] - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 493 00:36:13,673 --> 00:36:15,883 No, it's OK, it's OK. I like it. 494 00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,426 Go on. 495 00:36:17,593 --> 00:36:18,886 [sighs] 496 00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:23,724 - Oh, God, Shelby. - Fuck me. [exhales] 497 00:36:26,227 --> 00:36:29,272 - Aah... - Oh, my God. Yes! 498 00:36:29,438 --> 00:36:31,065 - Oh, God. - Oh, God, Shelby. 499 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:33,609 No, something's not right. No, please! 500 00:36:33,776 --> 00:36:36,153 No, something's wrong, something's wrong! 501 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,446 [Josh] Oh, my God. 502 00:36:37,613 --> 00:36:40,575 - [both screaming] - No, something's wrong! 503 00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:42,743 Almost there! Almost there! 504 00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:44,954 [flesh ripping] 505 00:36:46,205 --> 00:36:48,416 - What the fuck? - [gagging] 506 00:36:48,583 --> 00:36:50,251 What the fuck is on my dick?! 507 00:36:51,335 --> 00:36:52,461 Oh, my... 508 00:36:52,628 --> 00:36:54,297 Oh! Oh, my God! 509 00:36:55,756 --> 00:36:59,260 What the fuck?! Oh, my God! 510 00:36:59,427 --> 00:37:01,929 - Oh, shit! - [glass breaking] 511 00:37:02,096 --> 00:37:04,765 [panting, screaming continues] 512 00:37:13,816 --> 00:37:17,028 Oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus Christ. 513 00:37:18,112 --> 00:37:20,323 [growling] 514 00:37:22,158 --> 00:37:23,284 [screaming] 515 00:37:23,451 --> 00:37:26,078 - [slicing] - Oh, Jesus! 516 00:37:26,245 --> 00:37:28,497 [screaming] 517 00:37:29,624 --> 00:37:30,750 [knife clatters] 518 00:37:30,917 --> 00:37:32,877 [bodythuds] 519 00:37:34,128 --> 00:37:35,880 [gasps] 520 00:37:40,301 --> 00:37:41,427 Josh? 521 00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:43,930 [moans] 522 00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:46,098 I'm feeling a little better now. 523 00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:48,809 Josh? 524 00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:51,479 Josh? 525 00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:55,483 I think I had an accident. 526 00:37:58,611 --> 00:37:59,987 Josh? 527 00:38:08,829 --> 00:38:10,623 Josh, what are you doing? 528 00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:15,002 Oh, my God. 529 00:38:16,963 --> 00:38:18,047 [gasps] 530 00:38:21,175 --> 00:38:23,636 [shrieking, panting] 531 00:38:26,806 --> 00:38:27,848 Josh? 532 00:38:29,350 --> 00:38:30,351 Josh? 533 00:38:32,353 --> 00:38:35,523 Josh? 534 00:38:37,692 --> 00:38:38,985 Josh? 535 00:38:40,528 --> 00:38:43,698 What the hell did you do to me?! 536 00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,034 [siren blaring] 537 00:38:48,703 --> 00:38:50,705 [J' Bobot Adrenaline: "Blast"] 538 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,383 - [music stops] - Oh... 539 00:39:02,550 --> 00:39:04,677 You were almost going 70 back there, buddy. 540 00:39:04,844 --> 00:39:06,262 Don't you have someplace better to be? 541 00:39:06,429 --> 00:39:08,055 Like boning my stepdaughter? 542 00:39:08,222 --> 00:39:11,058 I'll get to that. First things first. 543 00:39:23,070 --> 00:39:24,947 You're all good. 544 00:39:25,114 --> 00:39:27,450 - For now. - Oh, you looking for a raise? 545 00:39:27,616 --> 00:39:29,452 With any luck, your little theme park's gonna take off, 546 00:39:29,618 --> 00:39:32,371 and I won't have to live off a deputy's salary forever. 547 00:39:32,538 --> 00:39:35,374 So... we're good here? 548 00:39:35,541 --> 00:39:37,752 Yeah. Did you check those outflow pipes at the lake? 549 00:39:37,918 --> 00:39:40,463 Maddy did. [scoffs] Nearly got herself killed. 550 00:39:40,629 --> 00:39:42,465 What about the grates? Are they still intact? 551 00:39:42,631 --> 00:39:45,593 Should be good. Unless there's another way into the park. 552 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,303 Like that bootleg well you drilled. 553 00:39:47,470 --> 00:39:49,972 - Don't you worry about that. - I do worry, Chet. 554 00:39:50,139 --> 00:39:51,974 I'm the one protecting your unlawful ass. 555 00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:55,227 Let me tell you something. 556 00:39:55,394 --> 00:39:58,981 Why don't you worry about keeping Maddy and Johnny Law off my ass, all right? 557 00:39:59,148 --> 00:40:01,484 - I'll take care of my water park. - OK. 558 00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:04,904 - Have a nice night, Deputy. - You, too, Chet. 559 00:40:05,071 --> 00:40:07,281 Oh, by the way... 560 00:40:07,448 --> 00:40:09,784 - What in the hell's this? - I told you you were speeding. 561 00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:12,453 - Are you shitting me? - Just doing my job. 562 00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:14,622 [sirens wailing] 563 00:40:14,789 --> 00:40:16,123 You're a crooked cop. 564 00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:32,306 [Barry] What a night, huh? 565 00:40:32,473 --> 00:40:36,435 [inhales] So, um... you and Kyle. 566 00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:38,604 You guys are gonna get back together, or...? 567 00:40:38,771 --> 00:40:40,356 No. Definitely not. 568 00:40:40,523 --> 00:40:44,276 I don't... I don't think so. Probably not. 569 00:40:45,986 --> 00:40:47,863 You really ran the gamut of indecisiveness on that one, 570 00:40:48,030 --> 00:40:50,783 - you know that, right? - Yeah, I kind of did, didn't I? 571 00:40:53,702 --> 00:40:57,331 Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina. 572 00:41:00,793 --> 00:41:04,505 He should be coming to shortly, so the nurse is gonna take you guys back there. 573 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,508 You guys can probably go. 574 00:41:07,675 --> 00:41:11,303 Josh is still sedated, and I'm gonna stick around to get a statement. 575 00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:13,514 I'll let you guys know if I find anything out, OK? 576 00:41:13,681 --> 00:41:14,807 How's Shelby? 577 00:41:14,974 --> 00:41:16,976 She's not making a whole lot of sense right now, 578 00:41:17,143 --> 00:41:19,728 but I'll keep an eye on her, too. 579 00:41:19,895 --> 00:41:22,982 - What about you? You all right? - I'm pretty tired. 580 00:41:23,149 --> 00:41:24,733 Get some rest and I'll call you. 581 00:41:37,037 --> 00:41:38,205 [sighs] 582 00:41:51,218 --> 00:41:53,220 [water running] 583 00:42:11,071 --> 00:42:12,072 [faucet squeaks] 584 00:43:01,664 --> 00:43:02,665 [gasps] 585 00:43:24,687 --> 00:43:26,647 [sportscast plays over TV] 586 00:43:26,814 --> 00:43:28,816 [sighs] 587 00:43:48,836 --> 00:43:49,837 [electronic tone plays] 588 00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:53,465 [hums] 589 00:43:54,675 --> 00:43:56,677 J' I'm the love hunter 590 00:43:56,844 --> 00:43:58,887 J' Hear what I say 591 00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:00,848 J' Get on your knees 592 00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:02,850 J' Learn how to pray 593 00:44:03,017 --> 00:44:05,060 J' 'Cause the love hunter's comin' 594 00:44:05,227 --> 00:44:07,980 J' To take you away 595 00:44:08,147 --> 00:44:11,191 J' The love hunter's comin' 596 00:44:11,358 --> 00:44:13,527 J' Today... 597 00:44:13,694 --> 00:44:15,362 [woman] That is so sad. 598 00:44:17,031 --> 00:44:20,159 Come to bed, Hoffy. It's nappy time. 599 00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:22,536 J' I am the love hunter 600 00:44:22,703 --> 00:44:24,538 J' Hear what I say 601 00:44:24,705 --> 00:44:26,040 J' Looks like Dawn 602 00:44:26,206 --> 00:44:28,208 J' ls ready to play... 603 00:44:28,375 --> 00:44:29,877 I'm Rochelle. 604 00:44:31,045 --> 00:44:32,671 I'm Dawn. 605 00:44:32,838 --> 00:44:34,423 Right. 606 00:44:35,674 --> 00:44:37,718 J' I am the love hunter 607 00:44:37,885 --> 00:44:39,845 J' Two chicks for me 608 00:44:40,012 --> 00:44:43,349 J' 'Cause I am the biggest star on TV J' 609 00:44:43,515 --> 00:44:46,685 Yeah! Yeah, let's party! 610 00:44:46,852 --> 00:44:49,897 [J' Moros Eros: "Quit, You're Being Thoughtless"] 611 00:45:07,915 --> 00:45:09,958 Welcome to rock bottom. 612 00:45:15,089 --> 00:45:17,925 Excuse me. Can we...? Please? Thank you. 613 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,889 [indistinct chatter] 614 00:45:29,144 --> 00:45:30,396 Wait. 615 00:45:39,154 --> 00:45:40,739 I don't know if I can do this. 616 00:45:40,906 --> 00:45:42,825 All you gotta do, take baby steps. 617 00:45:42,991 --> 00:45:44,827 Just little baby steps. 618 00:45:44,993 --> 00:45:47,621 What the hell you talking about baby steps for? 619 00:45:47,788 --> 00:45:50,833 In case you haven't noticed, fish ate my damn legs. 620 00:45:50,999 --> 00:45:52,960 I hate the water. I hate it. 621 00:45:53,127 --> 00:45:54,461 Remember what Dr. Smith said. 622 00:45:54,628 --> 00:45:56,797 This is all about our road to recovery. 623 00:45:56,964 --> 00:45:59,758 We'll start out with a harmless little kiddie pool. 624 00:45:59,925 --> 00:46:01,635 I mean, what's the worst that can happen? 625 00:46:01,802 --> 00:46:04,304 A couple kids whizzing, that's all. 626 00:46:04,471 --> 00:46:05,973 Kids whizzing? 627 00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:09,309 I can handle that. 628 00:46:09,476 --> 00:46:12,604 [J' Automatic Music Explosion: "C'mon I Can't Wait"] 629 00:46:22,156 --> 00:46:28,495 I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water. 630 00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:33,208 I can't. 631 00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:35,043 Don't worry about it. We'll figure out something else. 632 00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:37,004 - Uh... - No, it's weak. 633 00:46:37,171 --> 00:46:38,839 [panting] Dump me in the water. 634 00:46:40,132 --> 00:46:41,467 - What? - You heard what I said. 635 00:46:41,633 --> 00:46:43,886 Get behind the chair, grab the handles, 636 00:46:44,052 --> 00:46:46,680 and dump my sorry ass in the water. 637 00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:49,308 The way that parents toss their kids into the pool when they wanna swim? 638 00:46:49,475 --> 00:46:50,851 That's a great idea. OK. 639 00:46:51,018 --> 00:46:52,561 All right, I can do this. Here we go. 640 00:46:52,728 --> 00:46:54,813 - One, two... - Just stop! 641 00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:56,523 OK. OK, right. What happened? 642 00:46:56,690 --> 00:46:58,817 - Why'd you stop? - You said stop. 643 00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:00,694 No, don't listen to my pussy-ass mouth. 644 00:47:00,861 --> 00:47:03,030 No matter what I say, dump me in the water. 645 00:47:03,197 --> 00:47:05,908 OK, got it. Not gonna listen to your pussy-ass mouth. 646 00:47:06,074 --> 00:47:07,701 I mean, you don't have a pussy-ass mouth, I'm just saying... 647 00:47:07,868 --> 00:47:09,870 - Dump me in the water. - OK, OK. Here we go. 648 00:47:10,037 --> 00:47:13,874 - One, two... - Ah, shit. No, no, I changed my mind! 649 00:47:14,041 --> 00:47:15,918 - No, no, no, you're going in. - No, I changed my mind. 650 00:47:16,084 --> 00:47:17,377 - I don't wanna go in the water. - You're going in. 651 00:47:17,544 --> 00:47:19,171 - No, I don't wanna go in! - Hey! 652 00:47:19,338 --> 00:47:20,380 - You're going! - No! 653 00:47:20,547 --> 00:47:22,883 - Leave him alone! - No, no, no, he wants to go in. 654 00:47:23,050 --> 00:47:24,927 No, the hell I do. I don't wanna go in. 655 00:47:25,093 --> 00:47:28,722 What's wrong with you? Don't push that poor legless stump into the pool. 656 00:47:28,889 --> 00:47:31,266 Yeah, that's right, don't dump this poor legless stump in the pool. 657 00:47:31,433 --> 00:47:33,393 OK, you know what? You're gonna go into the water. 658 00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,896 - No, I don't wanna go! - [screaming] 659 00:47:37,898 --> 00:47:40,859 [gasps] Not cool, man. 660 00:47:41,026 --> 00:47:43,111 I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water. 661 00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:44,530 Not cool at all. 662 00:47:52,788 --> 00:47:54,915 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, 663 00:47:55,082 --> 00:47:57,584 hot moms of all ages, 664 00:47:57,751 --> 00:48:01,964 - welcome to The Big Wet! - [cheers, applause] 665 00:48:04,633 --> 00:48:08,971 And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 666 00:48:09,137 --> 00:48:12,724 The most famous lifeguard of all time. 667 00:48:12,891 --> 00:48:15,310 Who wants to party with the Hoff? 668 00:48:15,477 --> 00:48:19,606 Welcome, David Hasselhoff! 669 00:48:21,942 --> 00:48:28,073 - [crowd cheering] - [J' Jason Scheff: "I'm Always Here"] 670 00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:31,493 Here he is, David Hasselhoff! 671 00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:32,619 Ladies. 672 00:48:32,786 --> 00:48:35,163 You know, ladies, if you play your cards right, 673 00:48:35,330 --> 00:48:38,417 you might get some private mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 674 00:48:38,584 --> 00:48:40,752 - [chuckles] - [cheering] 675 00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:43,130 All right, without any further ado... 676 00:48:44,298 --> 00:48:47,342 ...let's all get wet and wild! 677 00:48:47,509 --> 00:48:50,470 - [cheering] - I'll show you to your stand. 678 00:48:51,805 --> 00:48:54,683 How you ladies doing? Good? Yeah! 679 00:48:54,850 --> 00:48:57,686 Oh, yeah. Look at this. Whoa, I'm in love! 680 00:48:57,853 --> 00:49:00,147 Come on, take a photo with me. Get over here, come over here. 681 00:49:00,314 --> 00:49:02,816 Right here. Come right here. Yeah, baby! 682 00:49:02,983 --> 00:49:04,526 Yeah, you're beautiful. 683 00:49:04,693 --> 00:49:06,987 You will never drown, and you're beautiful. 684 00:49:07,154 --> 00:49:08,697 Do a little mouth-to-mouth. 685 00:49:08,864 --> 00:49:10,699 ' NO Way! - [laughter] 686 00:49:10,866 --> 00:49:13,410 - [woman] W00! - [shouting] 687 00:49:13,577 --> 00:49:16,371 ["Summertime" playing] 688 00:49:18,498 --> 00:49:20,959 All right. All right, ladies, thank you very much. 689 00:49:21,126 --> 00:49:23,003 Good-bye now. 690 00:49:28,675 --> 00:49:30,677 [engine clattering] 691 00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,689 [engine stops] 692 00:49:42,856 --> 00:49:43,899 [Maddy] I knew it. 693 00:49:45,359 --> 00:49:47,319 [Chet] What are you doing back here, Maddy? 694 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,364 I saw this when I was taking inventory, 695 00:49:50,530 --> 00:49:52,491 but I didn't think to ask why it was here until now. 696 00:49:52,658 --> 00:49:55,369 We pump our own water now. Fuck the utilities, right? 697 00:49:55,535 --> 00:49:57,204 You can't fill this water park off a well. 698 00:49:57,371 --> 00:49:59,206 [laughing] It's not a standard well. 699 00:49:59,373 --> 00:50:02,542 We drilled down a whole lot further, hit an underwater lake. 700 00:50:02,709 --> 00:50:04,878 We got enough water to last us till kingdom come. 701 00:50:05,045 --> 00:50:07,714 - You have no idea what you've done. - Oh, sure I do. 702 00:50:07,881 --> 00:50:10,217 - Got us a nice big fat profit. - You don't understand! 703 00:50:10,384 --> 00:50:12,761 You could be pumping piranha straight through the water intake pipes! 704 00:50:12,928 --> 00:50:14,888 Maddy, it's opening day. 705 00:50:15,055 --> 00:50:17,724 I have shelled out $100,000, 706 00:50:17,891 --> 00:50:20,560 and you want me to close shop because there might, 707 00:50:20,727 --> 00:50:23,397 just might, be piranha in the pipe? 708 00:50:23,563 --> 00:50:26,608 What else? Ghosts? Bogeymen? 709 00:50:26,775 --> 00:50:30,070 Sharks? Snakes? You're laughable. 710 00:50:30,237 --> 00:50:31,905 Laughable. 711 00:50:32,072 --> 00:50:33,907 Come on, kid. 712 00:50:34,074 --> 00:50:35,742 You've been watching too many movies, little girl. 713 00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:38,537 - You should read romance novels. - [engine starts] 714 00:50:40,539 --> 00:50:44,042 Are we done? I got work to do. 715 00:50:53,885 --> 00:50:56,221 [thumping] 716 00:51:12,821 --> 00:51:14,781 [growls] 717 00:51:22,748 --> 00:51:25,459 - Mommy, I got bit. - Let me see. 718 00:51:26,626 --> 00:51:28,462 Oh, honey, you just scraped yourself on something. 719 00:51:28,628 --> 00:51:30,422 Go tell the lifeguard, he'll get you a Band-Aid. 720 00:51:30,589 --> 00:51:33,133 - No, no, it was a piranis. - It was not a piranha. 721 00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:36,011 You've heard too many people talking about piranha. Now scoot. 722 00:51:41,141 --> 00:51:42,809 [boy] Hello. 723 00:51:42,976 --> 00:51:43,852 Hello. 724 00:51:44,019 --> 00:51:45,645 - Hey! - Hey. 725 00:51:45,812 --> 00:51:47,606 I got bit by a piranis. 726 00:51:47,773 --> 00:51:49,483 - What's your name, kid? - David. 727 00:51:49,649 --> 00:51:50,984 David? 728 00:51:52,444 --> 00:51:53,987 That's pretty cool. That's my name, too. 729 00:51:54,154 --> 00:51:56,198 - Here you go. - What... 730 00:51:56,364 --> 00:51:58,700 - What's this? - It's an autograph. 731 00:51:58,867 --> 00:52:00,494 Can I just have a Band-Aid? 732 00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:01,828 Wait a minute. 733 00:52:01,995 --> 00:52:04,998 - You don't know who I am? - No. 734 00:52:05,165 --> 00:52:07,000 - You never saw Baywatch? - Mm-mm. 735 00:52:07,167 --> 00:52:08,376 Running in slow motion? 736 00:52:08,543 --> 00:52:09,836 How about Knight Rider? 737 00:52:10,003 --> 00:52:11,671 - No. - Talking car? 738 00:52:11,838 --> 00:52:14,132 Anaconda 3? Jekyll & Hyde on Broadway? 739 00:52:14,299 --> 00:52:15,509 - Hey, hey! - What? 740 00:52:15,675 --> 00:52:17,469 - Mr. Hasselhoff! - Back off, Toro! 741 00:52:17,636 --> 00:52:21,056 I'm talkin' to my main man here. Huh? It's OK. 742 00:52:21,890 --> 00:52:24,184 You really have no idea who I am? 743 00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:27,354 Yeah. You're a lifeguard. And I need a Band-Aid. 744 00:52:27,521 --> 00:52:31,858 Can I get a Band-Aid for my main man David here, please? 745 00:52:32,025 --> 00:52:33,235 SP0I'IgeBob? 746 00:52:33,401 --> 00:52:35,821 I'm just gonna get a Band-Aid somewhere else. 747 00:52:38,156 --> 00:52:39,741 I'm a lifeguard. 748 00:52:41,368 --> 00:52:42,661 [boy laughing] 749 00:52:57,592 --> 00:52:59,553 [woman shrieks] 750 00:53:04,015 --> 00:53:07,018 - Are you OK? - I saw a fish, in the splash pool. 751 00:53:07,185 --> 00:53:09,604 I know this is crazy, but it was a piranha like the ones on the news. 752 00:53:09,771 --> 00:53:11,898 I swear to God! 753 00:53:12,065 --> 00:53:14,067 Hey! Everybody out of the pool! Out of the pool! 754 00:53:14,234 --> 00:53:17,571 Hey, hey! You have to get them out of the pool right now! 755 00:53:18,572 --> 00:53:20,031 [scoffs] 756 00:53:20,198 --> 00:53:21,908 Hey! No running! [whistle trills] 757 00:53:25,620 --> 00:53:27,914 Game over, Chet. We gotta shut the water park down right now. 758 00:53:28,081 --> 00:53:29,916 What part of "no fucking way" don't you hear? 759 00:53:30,083 --> 00:53:32,419 A woman saw a piranha in the splash pool. 760 00:53:32,586 --> 00:53:34,546 Did you see it? 761 00:53:34,713 --> 00:53:36,882 - Did you see it? - No, but... 762 00:53:37,048 --> 00:53:38,717 You've got nothing. That's what but. 763 00:53:38,884 --> 00:53:41,094 I'm evacuating this water park whether you like it or not. 764 00:53:41,261 --> 00:53:43,889 - Maddy, Maddy, Maddy, Maddy. - Take care of this, will you? 765 00:53:44,055 --> 00:53:46,808 Chet's right, OK? You're just gonna cause more panic. 766 00:53:46,975 --> 00:53:49,436 - I'm sorry. Whose side are you on? - I'm on the side of being calm. 767 00:53:49,603 --> 00:53:51,146 Let's just go check things out, OK? 768 00:53:51,313 --> 00:53:53,607 You don't believe me. I'm the one who called you 769 00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:55,734 and you don't fucking believe me? 770 00:53:55,901 --> 00:53:57,611 Come on, kids, get out of the pool. 771 00:53:57,777 --> 00:54:00,113 Please, get out of the water park. Please just get out of the water. 772 00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,115 - Hang on, I can't... - [shrieks] 773 00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:04,951 - I can't let you do that. OK? - Let go of me! 774 00:54:05,118 --> 00:54:06,494 [Barry] What the fuck you doing, man? Let her go. 775 00:54:06,661 --> 00:54:09,164 Hey, what are you gonna do, Shark Boy? Huh? 776 00:54:09,331 --> 00:54:11,458 Poke me with your fucking trident? 777 00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:13,460 Let me give you a little piece of advice, buddy. 778 00:54:13,627 --> 00:54:14,794 You're gonna need a bigger one. 779 00:54:16,087 --> 00:54:17,130 Come on! 780 00:54:26,306 --> 00:54:28,016 [shrieking] 781 00:54:38,485 --> 00:54:40,487 [wind whistling] 782 00:55:03,510 --> 00:55:04,844 [screaming] 783 00:55:05,011 --> 00:55:06,638 [crunching] 784 00:55:07,681 --> 00:55:10,100 Oh, my God. [whistle trills] 785 00:55:26,491 --> 00:55:28,868 [screaming] 786 00:55:29,035 --> 00:55:30,537 Get out of the water! 787 00:55:45,176 --> 00:55:47,220 Come on, go! Go! 788 00:55:47,387 --> 00:55:49,556 I can't believe it. They're back! They're back. 789 00:55:49,723 --> 00:55:53,059 They'll find you. They'll always fucking find you. No matter where you go! 790 00:55:53,226 --> 00:55:54,352 [tires screech] 791 00:55:58,106 --> 00:55:59,774 [echoes] Help! 792 00:56:02,235 --> 00:56:03,945 Bring me my legs. 793 00:56:18,626 --> 00:56:20,754 - [clangs] - Titanium, motherfuckers. 794 00:56:21,629 --> 00:56:22,797 Eat this. 795 00:56:24,424 --> 00:56:27,635 - [gunshots] - [slow choral music plays] 796 00:56:43,276 --> 00:56:44,277 Get out of there! 797 00:56:53,244 --> 00:56:54,788 [gunshots continue] 798 00:57:00,293 --> 00:57:03,088 - I hate the water. - I hate the fish. 799 00:57:03,421 --> 00:57:06,132 Help me! Help! Help me! 800 00:57:10,345 --> 00:57:13,973 Hey! People are dying! You're a lifeguard, do something! 801 00:57:14,140 --> 00:57:15,934 I'm not a lifeguard, never was one. 802 00:57:16,101 --> 00:57:20,647 Help! Help me! Help, lifeguard! 803 00:57:20,814 --> 00:57:22,649 There's still kids going down those slides! 804 00:57:22,816 --> 00:57:25,276 Once these idiots get out of the water, 805 00:57:25,443 --> 00:57:27,362 it's not as if the fish are gonna follow them home. 806 00:57:28,488 --> 00:57:31,491 [Little David] Help me! Help! 807 00:57:37,497 --> 00:57:39,707 Help me! 808 00:57:39,874 --> 00:57:42,335 You went back in the water. 809 00:57:42,502 --> 00:57:45,630 You little ginger moron. 810 00:57:45,797 --> 00:57:48,842 [Little David] Mitch! You're a lifeguard, Mitch! 811 00:57:49,008 --> 00:57:51,469 [J' Jason Scheff: "I'm Always Here"] 812 00:58:03,898 --> 00:58:05,358 [shouts] 813 00:58:06,526 --> 00:58:08,194 [music warps, stops] 814 00:58:09,195 --> 00:58:10,989 Holy fuck! 815 00:58:11,156 --> 00:58:13,199 I'm getting old. 816 00:58:13,366 --> 00:58:16,202 - [music resumes] - [shouts] 817 00:58:17,912 --> 00:58:19,038 ' got ya! 818 00:58:19,205 --> 00:58:21,457 [grunts] Yeah! 819 00:58:22,167 --> 00:58:23,668 I made a rescue. 820 00:58:24,669 --> 00:58:27,672 I actually made a rescue. 821 00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,718 Can you put me down now? 822 00:58:32,886 --> 00:58:35,096 [screaming continuing] 823 00:58:52,947 --> 00:58:54,073 Chet! 824 00:58:55,408 --> 00:58:57,577 - Chet! - [grunting] 825 00:58:58,912 --> 00:59:01,247 Do you see 'em? Do you see 'em now? 826 00:59:01,414 --> 00:59:03,541 [groaning] 827 00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:05,585 [Maddy] We've gotta drain the pools. 828 00:59:11,090 --> 00:59:12,800 Hey, Barry! Since you can't swim, 829 00:59:12,967 --> 00:59:14,761 I need you to go to the pump house and force-drain the pools. 830 00:59:14,928 --> 00:59:16,095 - I've never done that before. - It's easy. 831 00:59:16,262 --> 00:59:18,473 The levers, they're all the way down. You push 'em straight up. 832 00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:19,974 - OK, got it. - All right, thank you. 833 00:59:20,141 --> 00:59:21,434 Wait, wait. 834 00:59:21,601 --> 00:59:23,061 I just want you to know that whatever happens, 835 00:59:23,228 --> 00:59:25,939 I've loved you since seventh grade. I always will. 836 00:59:26,105 --> 00:59:27,273 I thought you were gay. 837 00:59:28,441 --> 00:59:29,567 Really? 838 00:59:42,997 --> 00:59:44,499 [Chet] I've gotta get out of here. 839 00:59:44,666 --> 00:59:45,959 It's not my fault. 840 00:59:47,168 --> 00:59:48,503 - Ah! 841 00:59:48,670 --> 00:59:50,171 - What the fuck?! - [shouts indistinctly] 842 00:59:50,338 --> 00:59:53,174 - Get off me. - [growling] 843 00:59:54,509 --> 00:59:56,761 Barry, dude, come over here, please, man! 844 00:59:56,928 --> 00:59:57,804 Look at my ass! 845 00:59:59,347 --> 01:00:02,267 - Holy shit! - Whatever it is, just get it out! 846 01:00:02,433 --> 01:00:03,977 [Barry] OK. This is gonna hurt. Ready? 847 01:00:04,143 --> 01:00:05,812 One, two... 848 01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:08,982 [screaming] 849 01:00:10,984 --> 01:00:12,527 OK, come on! We gotta get to the pump! 850 01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:14,904 [screaming continuing] 851 01:00:35,341 --> 01:00:36,676 Sorry, kid. 852 01:00:38,803 --> 01:00:40,138 It's not my fault! 853 01:00:46,477 --> 01:00:49,689 - [girl screams] - Oh, shit! 854 01:00:52,233 --> 01:00:54,027 [Chet] Move out of the way! 855 01:00:54,193 --> 01:00:56,404 Move it! Move it! 856 01:00:56,571 --> 01:01:00,116 [slow choral music plays] 857 01:01:04,620 --> 01:01:06,873 [metallic tinging] 858 01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:09,042 [slow choral music continuing] 859 01:01:16,007 --> 01:01:17,550 [screaming] 860 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,729 [growling] 861 01:01:35,693 --> 01:01:37,528 OK, listen. I need you to get all the first aid supplies 862 01:01:37,695 --> 01:01:40,907 and bring 'em outside. Got it? You got it, go. 863 01:01:41,074 --> 01:01:42,867 I need first aid. 864 01:01:43,034 --> 01:01:45,703 [inhales, grunts] 865 01:01:45,870 --> 01:01:47,413 [screaming continuing] 866 01:01:58,466 --> 01:02:00,468 [growling] 867 01:02:18,736 --> 01:02:20,613 - [Kyle] Maddy! ' Ah! Help me! 868 01:02:20,780 --> 01:02:24,283 - Maddy! Maddy! Maddy, come here! - Help me! 869 01:02:24,450 --> 01:02:26,327 I didn't know. I promise you, I didn't know. 870 01:02:26,494 --> 01:02:28,121 - What are you talking about? - The well. 871 01:02:28,287 --> 01:02:30,790 Chet promised me that he'd give me 35 percent of the profits 872 01:02:30,957 --> 01:02:32,458 if I turned a blind eye. 873 01:02:32,625 --> 01:02:34,419 Just help me. Get me out of here, please! 874 01:02:34,585 --> 01:02:36,921 - I didn't know that... - Kyle, please! 875 01:02:37,088 --> 01:02:38,965 - Please, just help me! - The blood. 876 01:02:39,132 --> 01:02:41,259 - Help me! - The blood! 877 01:02:41,426 --> 01:02:44,387 - Kyle, please! - I can't. I can't do this. 878 01:02:44,554 --> 01:02:47,849 - I'm sorry. - No, no, don't, don't! 879 01:02:48,015 --> 01:02:50,017 Please help me! [grunts] 880 01:02:50,184 --> 01:02:52,478 - Where's Maddy? Where's Maddy?! - She's gone, I couldn't save her! 881 01:02:52,645 --> 01:02:55,606 - Help me! Help! - Maddy! Maddy! 882 01:03:08,161 --> 01:03:09,287 OK... 883 01:03:11,873 --> 01:03:14,834 [panting] 884 01:03:15,001 --> 01:03:17,044 Be a man, Kyle. Be a man. Be a man. 885 01:03:17,211 --> 01:03:18,838 Be a man, Kyle! 886 01:03:19,255 --> 01:03:20,840 Maddy! 887 01:03:24,177 --> 01:03:26,721 Oh, I can't swim! Help! 888 01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:35,938 Oh! 889 01:03:43,988 --> 01:03:45,198 This was a bad idea. 890 01:04:28,574 --> 01:04:30,409 [growling] 891 01:04:50,096 --> 01:04:53,266 [engine slows, stops] 892 01:06:05,171 --> 01:06:06,464 [coughing] 893 01:06:06,631 --> 01:06:07,840 Barry? 894 01:06:46,170 --> 01:06:48,714 Save a life, save a life. Save a life, Kyle. 895 01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:52,885 Be the hero! [screaming] 896 01:06:53,052 --> 01:06:55,721 I got you! Oh, my God! 897 01:06:55,888 --> 01:06:59,725 Get out of the pool! Oh, my God! 898 01:07:01,268 --> 01:07:03,229 Medic! 899 01:07:03,396 --> 01:07:05,731 I need a medic! 900 01:07:06,565 --> 01:07:08,067 Maddy! 901 01:07:10,069 --> 01:07:11,946 [Splashes] 902 01:07:13,906 --> 01:07:14,949 Maddy. 903 01:07:16,075 --> 01:07:17,576 [grunts] 904 01:07:22,289 --> 01:07:26,544 [laughs] 905 01:07:26,711 --> 01:07:29,422 Nobody munches on Big Dave's ass, bitch! 906 01:07:31,090 --> 01:07:34,051 ,'Adiés, pescados! 907 01:07:39,765 --> 01:07:41,308 [exploding] 908 01:07:45,438 --> 01:07:48,274 [slow choral music plays] 909 01:08:59,845 --> 01:09:02,515 [choral music continuing] 910 01:09:24,328 --> 01:09:26,163 [J' Amber Pacific: "it's a Good Life"] 911 01:09:26,330 --> 01:09:28,874 Woo hoo-hoo-hoo! 912 01:09:50,563 --> 01:09:53,566 How the hell did you buy that shotgun leg? 913 01:09:53,732 --> 01:09:56,235 With the money I saved on socks. 914 01:09:56,402 --> 01:09:57,903 [phone ringing] 915 01:09:58,070 --> 01:10:00,239 - Hello? - Maddy! 916 01:10:00,406 --> 01:10:02,032 You're not gonna believe this. 917 01:10:02,199 --> 01:10:06,537 I was right. They're evolving. 918 01:10:06,704 --> 01:10:09,415 They're learning to walk. 919 01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:12,960 Yeah, I know. 920 01:10:16,755 --> 01:10:18,591 [growls] 921 01:10:22,553 --> 01:10:24,221 [woman] David! 922 01:10:24,388 --> 01:10:26,473 David! Get away from that thing! 923 01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:29,935 Mom, it's OK. They're slow on land. 924 01:10:31,145 --> 01:10:33,397 [screaming] 925 01:10:33,564 --> 01:10:36,609 [screams] 926 01:10:36,775 --> 01:10:38,319 Ch, my God! 927 01:10:38,485 --> 01:10:40,446 [sobbing] 928 01:10:40,613 --> 01:10:43,240 Little ginger moron. 929 01:10:43,574 --> 01:10:45,451 [J' Amber Pacific: "it's a Good Life"] 930 01:12:19,837 --> 01:12:21,880 [J' Hasselhoff: "Love Hunter"] 931 01:12:22,047 --> 01:12:24,341 J' I'm the fish hunter 932 01:12:24,508 --> 01:12:26,677 J' You are my prey 933 01:12:26,844 --> 01:12:29,013 J' Swim all you want 934 01:12:29,179 --> 01:12:31,515 J' You won't get away 935 01:12:31,682 --> 01:12:34,059 J' 'Cause the fish hunter's comin' 936 01:12:34,226 --> 01:12:37,062 J' To catch you today 937 01:12:37,229 --> 01:12:41,108 J' Fish hunter's comin' your way 938 01:12:41,275 --> 01:12:46,864 J' With my trident I'm comin' to slay 939 01:12:47,031 --> 01:12:52,244 J' I'm the fish hunter You are my prey J' 940 01:12:52,411 --> 01:12:54,538 Fish hunter! 941 01:13:39,917 --> 01:13:42,127 [screaming] 942 01:13:43,170 --> 01:13:44,838 [screams, spits] 943 01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:48,258 ...lakes, rivers... 944 01:13:48,425 --> 01:13:51,929 ...full of sulfur... oxide. - [woman sneezes] 945 01:13:52,096 --> 01:13:54,973 [laughter] 946 01:13:55,140 --> 01:13:58,102 Look, guys, we've gotta check the grates over the outflow pipes... 947 01:13:58,268 --> 01:13:59,436 [blows raspberry] 948 01:13:59,603 --> 01:14:02,981 Look, guys, we've gotta check the drains over the outflow... 949 01:14:03,148 --> 01:14:03,982 Fuck me. 950 01:14:04,149 --> 01:14:06,443 [slow choral music plays] 951 01:14:15,828 --> 01:14:18,288 [J' The Limousines: "internet Killed the Video Star"] 952 01:14:34,263 --> 01:14:35,347 [sings note] 953 01:14:35,514 --> 01:14:36,807 Fish hunter! 954 01:14:36,974 --> 01:14:40,352 [laughing] Jesus Christ. OK. [grunts] 955 01:14:40,519 --> 01:14:42,646 [man] Can we get a little tighter? 956 01:14:46,650 --> 01:14:49,111 - [grunts] - [man] He's gonna take his glasses off. 957 01:14:49,278 --> 01:14:52,531 [drum beats] 958 01:14:57,035 --> 01:14:59,204 Right, either that or I was gonna wait for the drums to come and... 959 01:14:59,371 --> 01:15:00,706 [drum beats] ...do that. 960 01:15:01,707 --> 01:15:03,709 You ginger little moron. 961 01:15:03,876 --> 01:15:05,836 You ginger... You... [laughing] 962 01:15:06,003 --> 01:15:08,380 - [man] "You little ginger moron." - [woman] "You little ginger moron." 963 01:15:08,547 --> 01:15:09,756 OK. Fuck. All right. 964 01:15:09,923 --> 01:15:12,634 You ginger little moron. 965 01:15:13,719 --> 01:15:14,636 Why are you laughing? 966 01:15:14,803 --> 01:15:16,054 - I don't know. - [chuckles] 967 01:15:16,221 --> 01:15:18,348 J' I'm the love hunter J' 968 01:15:18,515 --> 01:15:22,269 [choking sound] Oh, God! 969 01:15:22,436 --> 01:15:24,730 - [phone clattering] - [woman] Hello? 970 01:15:24,897 --> 01:15:26,148 Hello ? 971 01:15:26,315 --> 01:15:28,400 [J' The Limousines: "internet Killed the Video Star"] 972 01:15:53,759 --> 01:15:56,470 The camera, where is it? There it is. 973 01:15:57,930 --> 01:15:59,806 [laughter] 974 01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:03,101 [man] Action. 975 01:16:03,268 --> 01:16:04,811 We're the place with no fish... 976 01:16:04,978 --> 01:16:07,231 Oh, here we go again. One, two, three, ready? 977 01:16:07,397 --> 01:16:11,443 We're the place with no fish, but plenty of tail. 978 01:16:11,610 --> 01:16:13,570 Piranha? What? 979 01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:16,740 That's the wrong place to put it, right? OK, here we go, once again. 980 01:16:16,907 --> 01:16:18,325 What's the line? 981 01:16:18,492 --> 01:16:21,495 Come on down and cool off at the hottest hole in town. 982 01:16:22,496 --> 01:16:24,957 - Ready? Come on down... - [cell phone rings] 983 01:16:25,123 --> 01:16:28,293 Are you serious? $15! $15! 984 01:16:28,460 --> 01:16:30,963 Are you serious? Film him now! 985 01:16:33,465 --> 01:16:36,426 [man over speaker] And just keep your hand in the middle like that. 986 01:16:36,593 --> 01:16:40,097 OK, don't do the hand because that became too 3D. 987 01:16:40,264 --> 01:16:43,475 - Do you want me to start with it out? - It was 3 double-D! 988 01:16:45,644 --> 01:16:46,687 [chuckles] 989 01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:49,481 How the hell did they get in here? 990 01:16:49,648 --> 01:16:52,651 Even if they're the same grizzly bears? 991 01:16:56,029 --> 01:16:58,198 - Winky face! - I hate you both. 992 01:16:59,533 --> 01:17:00,492 [Josh] I'm OK with that. 993 01:17:00,659 --> 01:17:02,327 - Oh! - [man] Action. 994 01:17:02,494 --> 01:17:04,997 Give me five, brother. 995 01:17:05,163 --> 01:17:08,166 - Who's that? - My mom. 996 01:17:08,333 --> 01:17:12,004 - She's kind of cute. - Yeah, she's got some talent. 997 01:17:12,170 --> 01:17:17,676 - She what? - She has some talent. 998 01:17:17,843 --> 01:17:20,679 Your mom has talent? Wow. 999 01:17:20,846 --> 01:17:22,222 She's pretty hot. 1000 01:17:22,389 --> 01:17:24,224 Yeah, don't even try it. 1001 01:17:34,526 --> 01:17:36,862 [psychedelic rock] 1002 01:17:52,878 --> 01:17:55,088 [hip-hop] 1003 01:18:01,428 --> 01:18:03,555 Best sticks in the business. 1004 01:18:04,723 --> 01:18:07,100 J' Years ago... J' 1005 01:18:07,267 --> 01:18:10,062 I'm wet all the time. You wanna get wetter, 1006 01:18:10,228 --> 01:18:13,106 come on down and cool off at the hottest hole in town. 1007 01:18:13,273 --> 01:18:16,234 Mine! Ooh, that won't make the movie. 1008 01:18:16,401 --> 01:18:17,944 We should add that to the movie. 1009 01:18:18,111 --> 01:18:20,781 J' Two chicks for me 1010 01:18:20,947 --> 01:18:22,866 - J' 'Cause I'm the biggest star on... J' - [indistinct chatter] 1011 01:18:23,033 --> 01:18:25,243 Who are you? What are you doing? 1012 01:18:25,410 --> 01:18:27,245 Wha... Oh, my God, you're not Dawn. 1013 01:18:27,412 --> 01:18:30,415 - The flying squirrel. - [indistinct chatter] 1014 01:18:30,582 --> 01:18:32,209 The Hoff in bed. 1015 01:18:32,376 --> 01:18:33,919 [man] That's why I'm in this wheelchair. 1016 01:18:34,086 --> 01:18:36,088 [woman] Guys, we're rolling. Camera is rolling. 1017 01:18:36,254 --> 01:18:37,798 We are set. Let's do this thing. 1018 01:18:37,964 --> 01:18:40,092 For God's sakes, watch the... 1019 01:18:40,258 --> 01:18:43,095 - [man] Settle down. - I'm down, man, I'm so fucking down. 1020 01:18:43,261 --> 01:18:45,097 Action! 1021 01:18:46,556 --> 01:18:49,309 David! David, get away from that thing! 1022 01:18:49,476 --> 01:18:51,603 Mom, it's OK, they're slow. 1023 01:18:55,315 --> 01:18:58,068 - [indistinct shout] - [screaming] 1024 01:18:58,235 --> 01:18:59,319 [crying] 1025 01:19:01,780 --> 01:19:04,783 Stand up, stand up. Go, "Help me!" 1026 01:19:04,950 --> 01:19:09,246 Help me! 1027 01:19:09,413 --> 01:19:12,749 - And... cut. - [boy] Nice. 1028 01:19:19,339 --> 01:19:22,467 - [screaming] - [whistle trills] 1029 01:19:32,144 --> 01:19:36,148 That, my darling, is what natural selection's all about.